The Real Housewives of Atlanta Review: Don't Save That Last Dance

This week’s The Real Housewives of Atlanta wasn’t necessarily sizzling in the Georgia sun, but at least we got to watch Sheree fizzle on the ballroom floor as our housewives stared blankly on. That was sort of fun.

Nene continues to have marital problems. She and Greg pretty much sat in steely silence when they were in scenes together. Alas to give back to the world of love, she helped Peter by prepping for his surprise party proposal. I found it really odd that he took Cynthia out and then brought her back to a party where he immediately proposed to her in front of family and friends. Most people would do the proposing personally and in private, not after a girl has already taken off her eyelashes in the car. Then, they’d celebrate and retell their romantic story over and over and over again. Cynthia felt the same way, hoping it’d be a more private moment, but at least “he really nailed it with this ring.” Peter wanted to do it his way and didn’t care if she didn’t like surprises. I wouldn’t marry him, but I think, for this perpetual runaway bride, she fits well with a man who takes charge and won’t take no for an answer. With a “now what?” look on her face, Cynthia vacantly stared at the faces of her guests, wondering if there was maybe a bigger party somewhere else where the real celebration could begin, but no. Everyone was going home, and she was relegated to spending the rest of the night in the bedroom with her fiancé. “This is what engaged people do?!” Cynthia cawed.

No, Cynthia, engaged people do what you did next. Okay, yes, they also do the other private bedroom stuff. But they go wedding gown shopping too! And there’s champagne! Cynthia, her sister and her mother are in awe that they’ve even gotten as far as dress shopping. Secretly, the two still wonder if Cynthia will go through with it at all, but that’s not surprising since Cynthia doesn’t seem to have any visible emotions about getting engaged. And she’s already overwhelmed. She had a heart-to-heart with her mother over her parent’s bad marriage which has kept her from relying on men throughout her life.

Phaedra remained the craziest housewife in Hotlanta. We found her packing for the big trip to the hospital. She reiterated that her “labor is being induced because the baby is fully developed and he’s ready to climb out of [her] vagina.” She also appeared more concerned with what designer duds she’d be wearing instead of the new life being brought into the world. I loved seeing the looks of shock on everyone’s faces at the disgust Phaedra exuded when questions of breast milk, circumcision and umbilical cord cutting came up. (I wish there was a freeze frame for Pheadra’s face when the woman Phaedra hired to help prepare told her that she helped others take care of their own babies the first night in the hospital. That picture would say, “Me?! Take care of my baby?! I thought I could hire someone to do the baby bonding for me?”)

Sheree was typical Sheree, only worrying about, well, Sheree. She opened the show with a big reveal to her two daughters. She fiiiiinally did something for herself and bought an Aston Martin. Who knew how in need she truly was. But the reveals didn’t stop with just her “rewards to herself” for all that hard sacrificing she does on a daily basis. She would also appear on Dancing Stars of Atlanta to raise money for charity. Wow, a selfless act that she was bound to make all about Sheree. Kudos to her ballroom choreographer and partner for keeping a smile on his face while she was grimacing, repeatedly saying “oops” and not paying attention at all. Judge Michael was not happy with her commitment and lack of sexy. No one was impressed by the Glam team she brought to the event either, so when they needed to kick her out and into a public rest room, they had no problem giving the hard direction. Move. Yes, now. (How hysterical was it when Nene ran into her at the sinks!)

Speaking of people in need, Kim decided to redo her daughter Arianna’s room with a price tag of $60,000. The nine-year old was overwhelmed with excitement while her 13-year old sister Brielle pouted and rolled her eyes. She was already disgusted with her own pink, kid-like room and didn’t really care that she has “rooms” (yes, more like a mini flat) bigger than the size of some of my old apartments. This is why you don’t shower your children so lavishly. They turn into ungrateful, little brats who whine and whine until you buy them something equally lavish.

And don’t think Kim can spare pushing away anyone else since she and Kandi are still on the outs. Kandi has a dream artist in Lawrence, who also is a juicy gossip partner. When he spilled that Kim also told him that she didn’t like the track, Kandi was livid. Not only was Kim throwing Kandi’s work back in her face, but she was also going around town dissing her. I love these “oh, no she didn’t” moments. When the two finally met up at Sheree’s Dancing Stars of Atlanta charity event, it was mostly awkward silence.  Once again, prime fight time wasted! But it was about charity so I guess I can support making love and not war. But then why not make love and not greed?  Sheree’s table of ladies was called upon to make a last minute donation, but Nene forced the group to settle on $20 each and no more. Kandi thought that was a little low but Nene strong armed her, and no one else spoke up!

In the end, Sheree didn’t fall on her butt, and she also didn’t raise the least amount of money. Cynthia was still engaged which is a good sign on the road to that terrifying walk down the aisle. There was no on-screen blowout fight between Nene and Greg or Kandi and Kim. And Kim, even, found her new man Kroy Biermann, another charity dance contestant. All-in-all, it was a good week for the housewives.

“You have a glove?” – Tierra.
“You know your mom’s a little extra.” – Sheree

“Some people find it strange that I decorate my office with pictures of myself, and what I’d have to say to you is eat shit and die.” – Kim

“No I have to put lashes on! It can’t happen like this!” – Cynthia

“Girl are you trippin’. Go on upstairs and make mad passionate love to this man.” – Nene

“Sheree and dancing? I don’t think I’ve ever seen Sheree snap her fingers.” – Nene

“I’m a model. I can’t tell if this dress looks great on me or I’m just making this dress look great.” – Cynthia

“I happen to like men who have a lot of personality and I like men who are very real…Greg is not like that.” – Nene

“Do I think he’ll call me, doh? Wouldn’t you call me? – Kim

Season 3, Episode 7: She Can Dance? (originally aired November 14, 2010)

For more on the Real Housewives of Atlanta, click here.

Mondays at 9pm on Bravo

Photographs courtesy of Quantrell Colbert and Bravo.

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