Grey’s Anatomy Review: Slow Night, So Long

Ahh, alcohol.  The great equalizer.  It can turn the prissiest women into slobs and make the shyest of men the life of the party.  We’re used to seeing the interns of Seattle Grace drown their sorrows, but now the attendings need to blow off some steam too.  Teddy, Owen, Bailey, Shepherd and Torres go to their watering hole across the street from the hospital, and guess who is tending the bar? None other than Cristina Yang.  She said that Owen told her to get a job, so she did.  Everyone proceeds to get bombed except Owen, who is on call.  It’s funny to see the toughest docs let their guard down and appear just as vulnerable as everyone else.  The key thing is that they were with each other, not any of the new residents.  This is good, because the peer groups don’t always mix well, socially.  Cristina makes a better surgeon than bartender, and when she’s not giving drinks away she’s doing more drinking than serving. 

While the oldheads get bombed, Alex and Meredith are on call, charged with keeping an eye on a pediatric patient who presented with severe stomach pain.  Fearing it is something serious, Meredith pages the new pediatric surgeon, Stark.  He’s a weasel and prefers to do as little work as possible, from what I can tell.  When he arrives he is ticked off at Meredith and mis-diagnoses the boy as merely having gas.  I think the average mom wouldn’t bring her child to the ER for a case of gas, but Stark berates Meredith for wasting his time.  The boy’s mother is somewhat connected, and she contacts Chief Webber personally after her son’s condition worsens.  She’s a nurse at a neighboring hospital, and once Webber is involved things are expedited.  Alex and Meredith had been paging Starks after they determined that the boy needed surgery, but he did not respond.  Meredith is hesitant to take charge, because they still have limited experience working independently.  Alex encourages her to take over, and says that he’s not waiting for Stark.  They assemble the O.R. team and go to work. 

Avery has been struggling with post-traumatic stress and still hasn’t sought help for his emotional problems.  He is now trying to over-compensate for his earlier mistakes by becoming super-intense.  When two severely injured trauma patients arrive, only he and Lexie are there to treat them.  Avery doesn’t want to page Owen until they know what they’re dealing with, but when he sees that one of the patients has a severed leg, he tells Lexie to page Owen.  The two patients are teenage brothers who tried to outrun a train.  Avery ends up doing a great job in surgery, but he snaps at Owen and you can tell that there is a lot going on beneath the surface.  He has been having night terrors and wakes up screaming uncontrollably.  He feels guilty for surviving the shooting that claimed the lives of his friends.  Lexie and Owen both have reached out to him, but he is putting up a wall.

In one of the funnier moments of the episode, Bailey gets hammered at the bar and wants to sleep it off at the hospital before going home.  She runs into April, who corrals her before anyone notices her intoxicated state.  Bailey’s lips are loose, and she slurs to April that she wouldn’t mind calling Ben because he always knew how to take care of her needs. Can we say T.M.I.?  She says this to April of all people, the Big Virgin.  She also lectures her about the folly of trying to make Alex Karev your first adult experience.  When Bailey sobers up, April thinks they are buddies – but Bailey tells her that their conversation “never happened.”  If April thought she had a new BFF, she needs to think again!

The last episode was another great one, and I like the way the writers are adding depth to characters we think we already know.  At some point I think that people need to stop treating Cristina with kid gloves, and she needs a tough wake up call.  I know the writers won’t allow one of the most bad-ass surgeons ever to fall by the wayside; they can’t!

Season 7, Episode 9: Slow Night, So Long (originally aired November 18, 2010)

For more Grey’s Anatomy, click here.

Thursdays 9/8c on ABC

All photos courtesy of ABC

Smallville Review: The Return of Aquaman

Alan Ritchson is not the world’s most compelling actor but each and every time he shows up on Smallville as Arthur (AC) Curry AKA Aquaman, it’s hard not to just sit back and enjoy his whole beefcake hunky self. Only this time his appearance was a bit heartbreaking because the character felt the need to bring along a special guest: his wife.

And as if the fact that he is now betrothed wasn’t bad enough, she also happens to be a major buzz-kill. Mera (Elena Satine), though I would prefer to call her Devil Woman, is a fellow underwater goddess who turned AC onto the seriousness of his oceanic kingdom and has encouraged him to go a bit medieval on anyone who threatens it or him. In the case of this week’s episode, the object of this aquatic couple’s rage is the United States government, which has put into full effect the Vigilante Registration Act (VRA) into order to suss out and contain the heroes of the world such as Aquaman, Clark, and Green Arrow.

In charge of the VRA is General Slade Wilson (Michael Hogan) who is hell-bent on locating and detaining all of the “vigilantes” for their usurpation of the United States government law enforcement. I have to say that I can kind of see his point that we can’t have a bunch of heroes taking complete control of civilian law enforcement no matter how well-intentioned they are, but his remedy of locking them up in secret underwater prisons is not the best alternative. That being said, I took no offense when AC and Mera undergo a little terrorist operation and blow one of these facilities sky high! As usual though, Clark is not on board with this plan.

Clark obviously has no love for the VRA but he also doesn’t condone terrorist acts against the government as a way to protest. Instead, he considers officially registering with the VRA just to find out what they plan on doing with the heroes once they are registered. But before Clark can think about it even further, the already publicly outed Oliver steps up to take the trial run. A big press conference is held to show Oliver officially registering with General Wilson but before Lois can get an exclusive quote he is whisked off to an undisclosed location.

As if missing an exclusive wasn’t bad enough Lois is cheesed off further about not being kept in the loop with Clark when he zooms off to Miami to confront AC about his actions without telling her. She takes matters into her own hands though by scoring an interview with Wilson and quite frankly, the scene was a stunner. Lois has never been more charming and kudos to episode director Tom Welling for ratcheting up the tension in a wonderfully Hitchcockian way when Lois snaps photos of a VRA facility in Alaska right in front of the suspicious Wilson.

With her info, Lois jets off to Miami where she finds Clark, AC, Mera, and Tess (via Watchtower) figuring out how best to find Oliver and rescue him from the torturing VRA facility. Lois is seriously pissed that even Tess is in the loop but business comes first. A rescue mission is launched but AC is captured and tortured alongside Oliver as Clark also gets caught in a kryptonite cage while confronting Wilson. Mera saves the day by busting Oliver and AC out and causing the facility to begin self-destruct mode while Clark tries to talk sense into Wilson only to see that he is fully committed to dying if it means taking Clark down with him. The facility explodes but not before Clark uses his x-ray vision to see some kind of symbol imprinted on Wilson’s skull. I’m actually not sure how Clark got out alive since he was in a kryptonite cage, but I guess we’ll just go with it…this isn’t reality after all.

The rest of the episode was basically a hug fest with AC confessing that he needs to rise above terrorist acts and follow Clark’s leadership and Clark learning that he needs to include Lois more if they are truly ever going to spend a life together. So Clark takes Lois to Watchtower for the first time and also comes clean to Oliver and Tess about the growing threat he’s been sensing over the past months. The symbol he saw on Wilson’s skull was a representation of a growing darkness and it has the potential to take over every man, woman, and child unless they stop it.

Well, they better get cracking because as we see at the episode’s end – General Wilson isn’t dead at all. He is now Deathstroke and he seems pretty pissed off. So watch your back, bitches.

Smallville takes next week off for Thanksgiving but will be back on December 3 with the return of John Glover as my favorite character of the series, Lionel Luthor! I realize I say this every week but…I REALLY cannot wait this time. See you then!

Season 10, Episode 9: “Patriot” (originally aired November 19, 2010)

Fridays at 8/7c on The CW.

Photographs courtesy of The CW and Jack Rowand.

JD Podcast: What U Need 2 Know w/ Erin Biglow (Ep. 4)

Season 3 Episode 7: What U Need 2 Know w/ Erin Biglow – Erin Biglow, breaks down the latest socio-political-celebrity news. Erin is not a woman to be trifled and she knows her sh*t. Welcome to the Jone Dome!

In this episode: Hollywood and DC are not so far apart. (Available on iTunes)

If you have trouble with the above player, use this one below: [display_podcast]

Show Credits:

Written & hosted by: Erin Biglow
Produced & Edited by: Poptimal.com
Venue: Hollywood, CA
Intro: Fuck You! (by Cee Lo)

(If the show does not play using the link at the bottom of the page, you can download it: Download|Podcast Alley)

It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia Review: You Dirty Rats

It begins as a typical Sunny day in Philadelphia, as the Gang aimlessly chats at Paddy’s in their trademark nonchalant, narcissistic manner. Their carefree morning is interrupted, however, as a rough-looking, hardened Charlie slumps into the bar, even more worse for the wear than usual after slaughtering at least 200 rats in his apartment. It’s 10 a.m. on a Tuesday, and this kind of news from one’s friend would usually garner at least a raised eyebrow from a normal person, but the Gang can barely muster acknowledgment. Dee, Mac and Dennis proceed to poorly feign interest as Charlie waxes poetic about his experience, sounding as profoundly traumatized as a Vietnam vet. “Whole generations” of rats fell prey to Charlie’s genocidal hands, he says, solemnly listing “mothers, fathers, grandparents…baby rats,” with a stare so blank it seems his guilt has consumed him to the point of near-catatonia. The rest of the Gang barely bats an eyelash until Charlie wonders aloud whether humans’ lives are really more valuable than rats’. Dee, Dennis and Mac scoff at this notion because obviously nothing is more valuable than human life, especially their own. A numb, despondent Charlie retreats back to his battleground while Frank berates the clueless trio. Apparently, it’s Charlie’s birthday and not one of them managed to remember, much less sufficiently pretend to sympathize with his horrific rat ordeal. Frank suggests the four of them arrange a surprise party to help bring Charlie’s spirits up. “For just one day,” bellows Frank, “let’s make him feel like a king.” While Dee, Dennis and Mac are game, they nevertheless issue a disclaimer, agreeing it should at least be the simplest surprise party possible, because, as Dee points out, they’re “tired today.”

This week’s episode of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia wisely tones down the bells and whistles last week’s Lethal Weapon parody provided, and keeps the plot simple and the laughs aplenty. The structure of the story follows a classic trajectory while maintaining a consistent theme, and I daresay actual character development ensues within the scant 20 minutes. Frank takes on the role of leader in the party planning venture, and informs the disinterested trio they’re all too “cynical” and self-centered to properly throw their friend a surprise party on his birthday. He gives them a brief, but stern pep talk that actually seems to turn the trio’s attitudes around. Dee had agreed to distract Charlie by using two spa certificates Frank had given her, but was under the initial assumption she’d be going alone. When she’s reminded the whole idea is to keep Charlie out of Paddy’s, however, she sheepishly realizes Frank may be onto something with his accusations of cynicism. Dee admits she’d forgotten about Charlie already and was going to throw the other coupon in the trash — a confession that, to me, sounds more insensitive and selfish than cynical.

Mac and Dennis, meanwhile, have been assigned to help carry out Frank’s vision for the party. He’s imagined Charlie’s shindig as a “trip-hop, underground” Hawaiian luau, complete with roast wild pig and plumes of sand inside the bar. Frank and Charlie’s transient friend Duncan, with whom they hang out underneath a nearby bridge, is also invited — to Mac and Dennis’ visible chagrin. Duncan lives in a glorified crack house with a motley crew of fellow bridge dwellers who like to watch people have sex behind screens and play video games while strung out on uppers. In the case of these losers, Dennis and Mac are perfectly allowed to retain their cynicism, as far as I’m concerned.

While Frank negotiates with “pig dealers” over the phone, Mac and Dennis wonder if Charlie even knows what a luau is. When they bet he probably can’t even pronounce the word “luau,” Frank insists he knows Charlie will love the theme because he’s mentioned it repeatedly in his “dream book.” Granted, Frank admits, said dream book consists mostly of pictures and symbols, but a Hawaiian premise is genuinely present. At this point, I figure if we don’t get a glimpse of this dream book by the end of the episode, the writers will have missed a golden opportunity.

Dennis and Mac keep Frank’s earlier lecture within reach as they try to be less cynical toward each other. After shopping for party supplies, Mac surprises Dennis with a present, complete with shiny bow and gleaming grin. As Dennis unwraps it and expresses genuine pleasure at the button-down shirt inside the box, Mac seems confused. The shirt Dennis unwrapped isn’t the one he’d picked out – what gives? Dennis, it seems, had grown suspicious when Mac slipped away during their excursion, so Dennis followed him and spied the “hideous” shirt Mac had planned on buying and gifting. Dennis intercepted the gift when Mac wasn’t looking, exchanged it for a shirt he really wanted, and rewrapped it before Mac could be the wiser. Dennis believes his efforts to be void of cynicism, but when Mac points out he basically just indirectly stole money from him and bought a shirt with it, instead of receiving a gift the proper way, Dennis grows silent. “This brings me no joy,” a dumbfounded Mac declares, miffed that his one stab at altruism had so significantly backfired.

Meanwhile, Dee has cornered Charlie to take him on the complimentary spa day. “A what day?” Charlie asks, busy constructing remote control raccoons – assumingly designed to help build an army against the impenetrable rat infestation. “What is this word ‘spa?’ I feel like you’re starting to say a word but not finishing it. Are you trying to say ‘spa-ghetti?’ Are you taking me on a spaghetti day?” Already exasperated from her attempts at selflessness, Dee ditches the spa idea and takes Charlie to the movies. He walks in with a container of spaghetti and forces Dee to let him sneak it in the theater by stuffing it in her purse. Charlie is a nuisance from the get-go, spending the majority of the movie searching for a rogue meatball and theorizing about the meaning behind 3-D glasses. When Dee loses her cool and dumps Charlie’s contraband spaghetti on the grimy theater floor, Charlie splits and heads back to Paddy’s.

Mac, Dennis and Frank intercept him with a story about an exploding keg that has left the bar temporarily uninhabitable and Dennis’, ahem, personal space invaded. When the guys ask Charlie why he isn’t at the spa with Dee, he explains he had already gotten his ‘spa’-ghetti and the two had gone to the movies afterward. “That cynical bitch!” Frank exclaims. The foursome confront Dee at the spa just as she’s about to redeem one of the gift certificates, and reproach her for not keeping up her end of the anti-cynicism pact. Although she tries to explain Charlie’s unruly behavior, Frank insists he stay at the spa with Charlie while she, Dennis and Mac finish decorating the bar for the party. Charlie apparently rescued his spaghetti from the movie theater floor and is happily toting it inside a plastic baggie, munching away even as he and Frank enter the sauna. Ew.

Dee, Dennis and Mac decide to break into Charlie’s apartment to browse through his dream book themselves (yes!), and discern whether or not this luau is really the right idea. A disheveled spiral notebook labeled “Dram Bok” contains all kinds of deranged, indecipherable pictures and symbols like Frank had said, but none of them evoke the image of Hawaii or a luau. Instead, they discover what looks like a pair of jeans and a chicken added together in a strange equation, a crude drawing of a bird with teeth, and a scribbled phrase that seems to read “Worm Hat.” Somehow, this peek into Charlie’s brain provides the most disturbing character insight Sunny has ever offered.

When Frank and Charlie return to Paddy’s from the spa, Frank is miffed to see his luau motif had not been followed through. Rather, Dee, Dennis and Mac used traditional balloons and streamers to commemorate Charlie’s birthday, citing the lack of Hawaiian-themed entries in his dream book as the primary reason. In fact, as predicted, Charlie cannot even correctly pronounce “luau.” In the episode’s cunning climactic twist, Frank reveals his own unfaltering cynicism as it’s announced it isn’t Charlie’s birthday after all, but Frank’s. He’d created a ruse to have the Gang organize the exact birthday party he wanted, without so much as a thought for Charlie’s well being. Dee, Dennis and Mac aren’t amused and proceed to show Charlie their handiwork anyway. Having used his “Dram Bok” as inspiration, they hilariously recreated artistic renderings that represent his most moving entries. The “denim chicken,” bird with glued-on teeth, and three interpretations of “Worm Hat” all touch Charlie deeply, but the final gift of a tricked-out rat stick makes him tear up and, perhaps, really feel like a king after all.

The overarching theme of the Gang trying to rescind their misanthropic ways at Frank’s whim provided a great opportunity to explore the inner workings of what makes the Gang, well, the Gang, and give them a chance to consider their borderline sociopathic narcissism. The upside-down ending that gave Dee, Dennis and Mac the chance to really do something nice for Charlie while Frank proved to be the most selfish of them all was a clever way to get the trio to step outside their normal characters. Frank, as usual, made no progress and continues to wallow in his vat of self-aggrandizing repugnance. While the brief glimpse into Charlie’s life outside Paddy’s was a dark and twisted one, it was a refreshing change of pace to at least end an episode of Sunny on a bright spot.

Season 6, Episode 10: Charlie Kelly: King of the Rats (originally aired November 18, 2010)

For more on It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, click here.

Thursdays at 10pm on FX

Photographs courtesy of FX and IMDbPro

Firebreather Review: Baptism By Fire . . . er, CGI

I’m Duncan Rosenblatt of the clan Rosenblatt (Dorky Highlander Ref.)?  Wait, that doesn’t sound right.  However, Duncan’s last name is about the only thing that does not add up in Cartoon Network’s new CGI based animated movie Firebreather.  Poptimal.com was lucky enough to get a sneak peek at the world premiere movie which airs on the Cartoon Network on Wednesday, November 24, 2010 at 7pm EST.

Firebreather is quick paced, beautifully drawn, and most importantly, has a solid story to back up its use of CGI.  In short, I give the movie two talons up.

What The Hell? No Worse . . . It’s High School!

Based on the comic book series by Phil Hester and Andy Kuhn, Firebreather is a story about Duncan Rosenblatt, the 16-year-old son of separated parents: Margaret, a typical suburban soccer mom and Belloc, a 120-foot fire-breathing Godzilla-type creature known as a Kaiju (Japanese Def: “strange beast/Monster”).  Firebreather is directed by Peter Chung (Aeon Flux)

Belloc is the ruler of the Kaiju who reside in an underground lair reminiscent of the Mines of Moria where Gandalf the Grey died (Dorky LOTR Ref.).  16 years ago a war broke out between the humans and the powerful race of monsters.  It was the relationship between Margaret and Belloc that prevented massive destruction on both sides. The Kaiju seemingly disappeared and Margaret was forced to raise her child Duncan as a single mother, providing him with as normal an environment as possible.

Even though the Kaiju are gone, the world still fears these monsters, so a government agency called MEGTAF (like S.H.I.E.L.D. or Cadmus) remains in place to protect humanity against their potential return. Margaret has made a deal with the agency that includes MEGTAF agent “Blitz” Barnes keeping tabs on Duncan and Margaret.

At his new school, Duncan makes friends with outsiders Isabel and Ken and falls for the popular and stunning Jenna. But like his past schools, Duncan makes an enemy of school bully and Jenna’s ex-boyfriend, Troy.

Knowing his son is coming of age, Belloc has been searching for Duncan and wants to introduce him to the world of the Kaiju, hoping that Duncan will someday take his rightful place as his heir to the throne.

CGI – Bang Or Bust?

Definitely a Bang.  Generally, there is no real problem with the use of CGI.  In fact, most of us would agree that CGI is pretty cool and adds to animation by making the character’s movements more human and life-like.  However, what Hollywood seems to always get wrong with these types of animated movies/series is that they try to supplement a poor story with the cool science of CGI.  That is to say, they want the viewer to get so caught-up in the CGI, that they will overlook how crappy the story actually is.  Stealing a concept from one of my “hating heroes,” Chef Gordon Ramsey (Hell’s Kitchen): All you need to make a successful dish are a few fresh simple ingredients cooked well.

The writers of Firebreather got it right by not focusing on the CGI, rather the simple fresh story of a high school kid, who doesn’t fit-in at school because of his heritage and special abilities.  That type of story seems to work.  If you don’t believe me, ever heard of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, My Secret Identity, or Spider-man?  Well, maybe not My Secret Identity, but definitely Buffy and Spider-man. The pure and simple story resonates with the viewer and the CGI serves a good topping.

Is There Room For Hating?

Like Jello, there is always room for hating, albeit very little in this case.  Since joning on pop culture is the underpinning theme of the podcast I co-host, The Jone Dome, I cannot leave it out.  But luckily I have only two (2) points to make.

First, the ending was weak.  As we learned back in high school, every story has a beginning, middle, and end.  It’s that simple.  No matter how strong each of these three (3) elements are separately, the story is only as strong and compelling as its weakest component.  Here, the ending was the weakest component and felt contrived.  Don’t get me wrong, the ending fight scene was well done and had me on the edge of my seat.  But, the wrap-up regarding where each of the main character’s futures were headed and how the final battle effected their lives was unreal and unbelievable.  With the exception of Duncan, the endings to their final stories were abbreviated, insufficient, and incongruous.

Second, there were no black people.  Correction, the principal of the high school during the homecoming dance who was on the screen for a total of 20 seconds, was black.  It seems to me, that in a fictional animated world where: (1) the main character worries about the pigment of his skin because he is as orange as John Boehner (See Colbert Report defending Orange people, including Boehner); (2) the underlying message of the story is that we are all the same inside and we should look past our differences; (3) three of the actors who voice the main characters are people of color – Belloc (black), Kenny Rogers (Asian), Isabel (Latina); and (4) the protagonist Duncan is the result of species miscegenation, that I could get at least one brotha or sista as a main character . . . or someone who looked fake-me-out ethnic like Bruno Mars, Zoe Saldana, or Barack Obama.  Where’s Static Shock when you need him?

Some of you do not listen to the show, so I need to warn you that the fact that I am only hating on two aspects of the movie means that I really enjoyed the movie and that you should watch it.

Who’s Who?/Who’s What?

Duncan: Voiced by Jesse Head (So Little Time, Surf’s Up).  Half-human, half-Kaiju, Duncan has a fiery temper that’s gotten him into more than a few fights and made him the perpetual new kid at school. Beyond your typical teenage angst, he faces an unusual dilemma: honor his mother’s wishes and lead a normal teenage life, or follow his dad as the next King of the Kaiju.

Margaret: Voiced by Dana Delaney (my favorite Desperate Housewives scene w/ Delaney).  She may seem like your average mom, but this is the woman who fell in love with the King of the Kaiju and saved the human race from his league of monsters.

Belloc: Voiced by the talented Kevin Michael Richardson (Cleveland Show, Batman: Brave & the Bold). As king, Belloc is the biggest and strongest of the Kaiju. He’s also Duncan’s dad, and wants his heir to lead the next war against the humans.

Jenna: Voiced by Amy Davidson(8 Simple Rules).  Pretty and popular, Jenna likes her café-au-lait a precise 115 degrees. When she’s not avoiding her ex-boyfriend, Troy, she’s planning the most important event of the year… the Homecoming Dance.*

“Blitz” Barnes: Voiced by Reed Diamond (24, Dollhouse). An undercover MEGTAF agent posing as the high school gym teacher, “Blitz” Barnes watches over Duncan to make sure he keeps a low profile.

Kenny Rogers: Voiced by Dante Basco (Avatar: Last Airbender, Hook (Rufio)). Virtually parent-less and living in the local trailer park, Kenny Rogers is frequently picked on by Troy and the other jocks. When he’s not studying Kaiju lore or the back of his bangs, he has one eye fixed on Isabel and the other jealously following his new friend, Duncan.*

Isabel: Voiced by Tia Texada (Spartan, Glitter).  Quick-witted and plucky, Isabel is your quintessential Kaiju fangirl. She spends most of her time tracking MEGTAF reports and sharpening her Kaiju expertise, with Kenny trailing at her side. Naturally she befriends Duncan, but her interest in him may not be purely academic.  See Tia in Maxim Magazine!

Troy: Voiced by Josh Keaton (Young Hercules). King of the jocks and alpha bully, Troy instantly targets Duncan, proving almost as much of a threat as Belloc. He used to date Jenna, but doesn’t seem to understand that the relationship is in the past tense.

Read Kelley Lynn’s article about Firebreather from NY Comic Con Earlier this year.

* Photo of Amy Davidson by Irenzo Hodges; and Dante Basco by Jesse Grant

Burn Notice Review: Mama Rules!!!

If you think it’s unbearable to team up with someone who’s previously betrayed you, try teaming up with someone who’s betrayed you, killed a guy in front of you and is now ready to frame you for their murder. Um, yeah, perspectives are now in order. This week on Burn Notice, to help Fiona with a case that could very well end up with her having a murder charge, Michael and Jessie push aside their bad blood and work together. And it’s a good thing too because Mama Madelyn is tired of the bad blood and she’s going to do something about it.

This week’s episode of Burn Notice starts off with Michael Westen breaking into a police station. Justin Walsh, the man who stole the briefcase with Simon’s bible, used to work with the Department of Defense. So to dig up information on Walsh, Michael decides to hack into the station’s computer and download Walsh’s e-mails. This makes Jesse upset because Michael didn’t inform him of his intentions first as they are supposed to be partners. But the search proves fruitful when Michael and Jesse find that Walsh is setting up to auction off the list. They make a plan to intercept the auction, but unlucky for them they don’t know when the auction is going to take place or where. Jesse knows just the person who can help them out, but it’s going to take a bit of blackmail…

While they’re sorting that out, Fi needs help with a case. What starts out as a rescue mission for someone’s scared, abused little sister ends up as a ploy to rob an Arms dealer. Fi is approached by Stuart, guy who wants to rescue his little sister from her abusive foreign diplomat boyfriend. After a snooping of Marco, the diplomat’s security, the gang notice that things are set to keep intruders out, not hostages in. Something more is going on than they were told. Michael, Fi, and Jesse go back to talk to Stuart to find out what else is going on and midway into their conversation Stuart is shot dead and Natalie, a thief and murderer the gang have an unpleasant history with, appears. Turns out Stuart was a scammer that Natalie hired to get the crew involved in the case and the stolen gun from Fiona’s truck with which she shot Stuart is to make sure that they don’t say no. Their choice: to take the case or have Fiona arrested for murder. This isn’t a tough decision and the gang quickly agrees.

Natalie’s case is this: as a professional thief she was hired to steal something which turned out to be a chemical weapon. Natalie, who has a thing against going to prison, wants to steal it back before the Feds catch on. As a good will gesture, Natalie gives back Fiona’s gun so Michael is now working to keep the world safe from chemical warfare. Sneaking into Marco’s house is ridiculously easy for Michael and crew; knock out a few food lights here, stun some guards there, break into an outside safe and they’re ready to go. Unfortunately Marco’s crew catches on just as they’re about to make a getaway and Natalie is separated from the group.

Back to the case of the missing bible: Sam tempts Jesse’s former handler Marv to come down to Miami with information on Marv, some girl and a cheap hotel room. So, the married Marv is going down to Miami, where he meets up again with Jesse along with Chuck Finley. Jesse tells Marv that he needs his help to stop some “very bad people.” It takes a little back and forth but Marv agrees to help Jesse. I loved this scene because even though the relationship between Jessie and Marv is strained, it showed that Marv inherently trusted Jesse in spite of the burn notice. Marv could have easily turned away and called the cops but he’s a good guy and he believes that Jesse is one too. So he decides to help the group find out more about the auction. What they get is disturbing news. This auction, is to brokers and arms dealers, very, very bad men and if that’s not enough to scare you off to get into the auction is a 5 million dollar fee. But of course, Jesse already knows he’s dealing with bad people, far from being warned off, Jesse asks Marv to front him 5 million dollars. Marv warns Jesse about being careful who he’s involved with, but in the end he gives Jesse the 5 mil in old bills that are marked for destruction.

Back to the case this week: Sam is off to deliver the chemical weapon to some old army buddies of his when he drives over a bomb. From nowhere Natalie shows up and steals the weapon. It’s worth 20 million dollars and she plans on selling it. The gang marvel about how Natalie knew where Sam would be and they find a bug in Michael’s shoe. She’s been recording them. They decide to use this in their favor and Sam and Michael convince Natalie, via the bug, that it’s a good thing they sent a decoy weapon with Sam, while the real weapon was safely awaiting Federal transport. Natalie turns around and heads back to pick up the “real” weapon but soon finds herself in a trap which ends with her chained to a pole, her buyers with a face of pepper spray and one cell phone dialed to 9-1-1. So the choice is hers, she can either face her buyers – more bad men who’ll want to kill her – or she can talk to the police and pray that they get there first.

At the end of the episode, Madelyn tricks Jesse and Michael to meet up with the help of Fiona and she basically tells them to just get over it. They’re family, and families suck it up and move on. Unlike before, they don’t have a choice. Madelyn tells them to shake on it. Whether they’re fine or not, they shake on it and move on. This Michael does looking a little scared, Jesse looks shocked by Madelyn. By the way, I love that Michael’s mama makes him shake in his boots. No matter how big and bad you are: mama rules. Gotta love it!

In two weeks, Burn Notice returns and welcomes back Michael’s brother Nathan. For a moment I almost forgot about him…

Season 4, Episode 14: Hot Property (originally aired November 18, 2010)

For more on Burn Notice, click here.

Thursdays at 10/9c on USA Network.

Images courtesy of USA Network.

Dancing With the Stars Review: Sdrawkcab Edosipe

Uhhh, so that just happened.

While I still might not like Brandy and her presence on the show really annoyed me, B-Palin in the finals is just insanity. This is what happens when smart people don’t vote I guess.

Let’s get the good stuff out of the way first: Jennifer and Kyle are in the finals YES. Well deserved by Jennifer because, duh. She is the best and better win. For reals. I have really gotten on team Kyle though, but then again who wouldn’t. He is so cute and funny and it’s like having a puppy dance around and be kind for an hour. He is such a good, natural entertainer so I am always presently surprised when I watch him dance, unlike Jennifer where I expect her to be perfect all the time so I actually get kind of anxious watching her and waiting to mess up…. So I am rooting for Jennifer and Kyle to nail it on Monday and to be the last two standing, which is stupid because Jennifer will/should clearly win. This finale is getting kind of silly though because….

Brandy/Bristol. I don’t know where to start. Even though Brandy was the worst (as in a human, not as in a dancer), without her in the finale, they might as well just give Jennifer the mirror ball at the start of the episode. I love Kyle, but he isn’t the best. Bristol. I can’t even talk about it yet. Too bad Brandy was her own worst enemy and was so unlikable that she knocked herself out of a competition that she actually deserved to be in. Talent wise, it should be Jennifer vs. Brandy. Entertainer/likable wise, Kyle and Jennifer should duke it out.

I really don’t know what happened. Brandy wanted it too much while simultaneously came off as so disingenuous during the competition that I couldn’t stand it. Everything she did seemed so affected and done in an effort to win over an audience that she just wasn’t connecting with.  I loved Brandy as much as the next tween in her Moesha days, but nowadays she is on VH1 and seems soooooo into herself– bleh. She deserved to compete in the finale, but unfortunately, as Maks reminded us, this is Amurrika and people speak with their votes and the people weren’t buying what Brandy and Maks were selling… Which was quality talent in the most unlikable package imaginable. Too bad, woof.

Bristol. What in the hell is going on? If this is any indication of voting patterns in the U.S., I’m following Tina Fey out of the planet. Let’s start with the least offensive thing about Bristol: her dancing. I get it– she came on here with nooooooo experience and has come sooooooo far. But this is a dancing show where you are supposed to act like you aren’t being kept in the competition by some communists that invaded your beloved Alaska and kicked you out of your house. It’s about entertaining people, not making them cringe in discomfort. Bristol keeps saying she’s no performer — we get that and we agree with you, so move on to the next bassackwards part of your life: as a teen activist.

How many times can you fit “the situation” into innuendo and double entendre? That’s what she said! Seriously, try to watch that and not have a situation of your own. Bristol is hardly a teen activist and CLEARLY an example of how abstinence DOES NOT work — so what in the hell is she doing? Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah I can’t take backwards world; it’s too much! B Palin has actually made me MISS BRADY. What is going onnnnnnnnnnnnnn?!

Just in case you needed one more reason to lament Bristol’s presence on the finale, she has terrible grammar (when grammar=soul).

So there we have it. One person is in the finale that we knew would win from day one, one person is the biggest long shot ever, and one just went on Fox News as an expert to explain that the world actually is flat.

Or whatever.

For another opinion on this week’s episodes, read “Dancing With the Stars” Week 8 Proves Bristol Right: “Doggonit! You Might As Well Dance!” by Kelley Lynn.

Season 11, Week 9: Round  Performances and Results Show (originally aired November 15 and 16, 2010)

For more on Dancing with the Stars, click here.

Mondays at 8/7c, Tuesdays at 9/8c on ABC.

Photographs courtesy of ABC, Adam Larkey

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Glee Review: Apple’s Mom Does A Mean Robot

I admit to being pretty psyched when I heard Gwyneth Paltrow would be guesting on Glee. I’ve found Ms. Coldplay quite charming since Sliding Doors, and I remember her singing voice on “Cruisin,” which got some radio play back in the day.  Plus, I’m ready to get the stink of Iron Man 2 off her.

So Sue’s quest for power has led her to the principal’s office, after instigating Principal Figgin’s contraction of monkey flu (Sue’s words, not mine. Monkey flu sounds a bit too racist for me.)  Will also contracts the monkey virus (see? doesn’t that just sound wrong?), which lays him up and leaves Glee in need of a substitute teacher.  Enter Holly Holliday, i.e., Gwyneth Paltrow.

With the name Holly Holliday, you’d think she was a porn star or drag queen — well, you would if you were Will’s ex, Terri, but more on that later — but she’s not.  But she’s just as fun!  Ms. Holliday lets the kids chat about Lilo’s rehab stints in Spanish, teaches English with a back up choir, and allows gangsta rap musical chairs in the classroom.  Plus, she encourages Taco Bell class time excursions.  Which is awesome, although she had me at gangsta rap musical chairs.

To let Glee know just how cool she is, upon her introduction as Glee’s substitute instructor, Ms. Holliday rips right into Cee-Lo’s ”Fuck Forget You,” a song that has been clinically proven to be fuckin’ catchy as shit.  She struts, she sings, she’s flirty in all the right places, and she works a mean robot.  She’s a teenager’s dream of what a substitute teacher should be.  Plus, she’s bonding with Sue, who pretty much gives her Will’s job.  The only person not particularly happy about this is Rachel.  But Rachel also succumbs to Ms. Holliday’s charms, after Holly partners with Rachel for an “All That Jazz” number that would’ve been better if it 1) had more singing and 2) better dancing.  It just wasn’t Broadway enough for me, particularly after we got to see Will feverishly hallucinate “Make ‘Em Laugh” from Singin’ in the Rain, which he performs with Mike Chang.  That number was snappy, punchy, and totally Broadway.  I’m sooo happy that the producer(s) of this show know the talent they’ve got in Harry Shum, Jr. and that they’re willing to exploit the forget fuck out of it.

Meanwhile, Terri’s back!  Can’t say I’ve missed her.  She must have been lurking around for awhile, cause she sure made herself comfortable as Will’s caretaker while he’s sick. She’s apparently on anti-anxiety and anti-depression meds, but she’s still playing games, or at least trying to play one called “sick baby” with Will.  Now, I don’t know entirely what sick baby entails, but it involves a baby voice, vapor rub, and, probably, sex.  All three of which happen at least once.  But as the saying goes — crazy in the bed, crazy out of the bed — and when Terri walks in on Will and Holly drinking beers and sharing a moment (not a romantic one, just a moment) the crazy comes pouring out.  Will tells her to leave, for good this time.  Somehow, I don’t think it worked.

In Kurt news, he’s still hanging out with Blaine, relegating Mercedes to the third wheel position.  Distraught, Mercedes focuses on the loss of tater tots from McKinley’s cafeteria due to Sue, who, drunk on power, has decided to ban them from the school’s cafeteria.  But then Kurt tells Mercedes she doesn’t need tater tots; she needs a date.  And I agree – it’s best to cut the fag hag cord early; Will & Grace shouldn’t be that relatable.

Ultimately, Holly Holliday decides that while her teaching philosophy may be winning her friends in the student body, it’s not really doing much to actually teach them.  So Will gets his job back.  He asks Holly to help him with one last mission — to help sell “Singin’ in the Rain” to Glee as something fun and modern.  She complies, and we end up with a big splashy “Singin’ in the Rain”/”Umbrella” mash-up.  Musically, I thought it was kind of awful, but it’s hard to quibble when Gwyneth Paltrow is clearly having so much fun.  Oh, who am I fooling?  I can’t quibble because I was having fun, too.

Plus, no Emma again!

So what did you think?  Are you ready to lead the backlash against the Glee backlash?  Do you think this really is the last we’ll see of Terri?  And does anyone else think that Gwyneth’s performance might just get her one step closer to the elusive EGOT?

For more Glee, check out I Found a Journey Song We Haven’t Done Yet! by Stephanie Jaar.

Season 2, Episode 7: The Substitute (originally aired November 16, 2010)

For more  Glee, click here.

Tuesdays at 8pm on Fox

Photographs courtesy of Fox and IMDbPro.

Glee Review: I Found a Journey Song We Haven’t Done Yet!

Glee can’t have just any ol’ regular guest star on their show, as demonstrated last season. They need Oscar-winning actors like Gwyneth Paltrow to crank things up to the next level. Everyone seems to have their own opinion about Gwyneth and her culinary lifestyle – personally, I was neutral – but I really thought she did a stellar job as substitute teacher Holly Holliday.

Sad thing is, Gwyneth’s appearance was nothing more than a promotional stint to get more people to go see her country movie. It was basically a way of saying, “Hey, look at me! I can sing! Now go see my other movie and hear me sing some more!”

But despite being nothing more than a clever marketing ruse, Gwyneth’s substitute teacher shook things up a little on Glee. A nasty illness is going around McKinley High and Principal Figgins falls ill. His replacement is none other than Sue Sylvester. Or should I say Principal Sylvester? Schuester also catches the nasty bug and is replaced by carefree, fun-loving Holly Holliday. Basically, the complete opposite of Schuester. Not only does Holly take over his Spanish classes, but she also becomes in charge of Glee club after the Gleeks overthrow Rachel from her self-appointed position as leader.

Holly Holliday is all about letting the kids in Glee do what they want. Unlike Schuester, she allows them to pick their own songs, most likely because she has no idea what she’s doing. But it works for a while and the kids let loose and have fun. Rachel also finally gets to perform her “glamorous” number from Chicago.

Meanwhile, we probably already knew this, but Will Schuester is a weak man! When he’s ill, his ex-wife Terri comes rushing back to his side to nurse him back to health. Well, she has ulterior motives in mind also. Terri and Schuester hook up for a one night stand, but by the end of the episode, he’s banished her from his life again. Stop being so easy, Will!!

In other news, Principal Sylvester is no longer temporary! Her first order of business was to fire Schuester and keep Holly instead – and that lasted all of five minutes. Holly realizes she’s not cut out to be a teacher like Schuester and the kids vouch for him and beg Sue to bring him back.

Other moments from the show:

Schuester and Mike Chang perform “Singin’ in the Rain” because…well, why not? It was awesome!

The Gleeks plus Schuester and Holly perform a mash-up of “Umbrella” and “Singin’ in the Rain” to make things more contemporary. I usually love Glee mash-ups, but not so much this one.

Kurt is still BFF with Blaine, only now Mercedes is starting to feel like a third wheel.

For another opinion on this episode, check out Apple’s Mom Does A Mean Robot by Alana D.

Season 2, Episode 7: The Substitute (originally aired November 16, 2010)

For more  Glee, click here.

Tuesdays at 8pm on Fox

Photographs courtesy of Fox and IMDbPro.

So You Think You Can Dance Fall 2010 Media Day: The Next Quickstep

Fans of the popular FOX reality competition series So You Think You Can Dance have been able to follow their favorite hoofers across America to catch them on tour since the show’s second season. This year, seven contestants from the show’s seventh cycle, which crowned Lauren Froderman “America’s Favorite Dancer” in August, have joined All-Star SYTYCD alumni to keep the tradition alive. The kinetically gifted group appeared in Los Angeles for their penultimate tour stop at Staples Center on Tuesday and chatted with reporters about their experiences on SYTYCD, and how exposure from the hit show has catapulted both their opportunities and ambitions.

When asked what the biggest difference is between dancing on television and dancing on tour, most shared the opinion that the pressure of a live broadcast week after week added a psychological element – one they were relieved to be rid of on tour.

“The tour is a lot more physical than mental,” said Season Four fourth-place contestant Courtney Galiano. “I think the show is a lot more of, like, a mind game.” Galiano can look back on her experience with a sense of humor, however, as she joked about the pressures of the competition. “It makes you crazy. I’m convinced I’m going to die ten years earlier or something,” she chuckled.

“[The tour is] so much stress off our shoulders,” agreed Season Seven fourth-place finisher AdeChike Torbert. “[We’re] not worrying what the judges are thinking, about what camera angles we have to look at, not worrying about if we’re going to get enough votes,” he explained. “We’re performing for people who love us … it feels good.”

Season Seven’s third-place finalist Robert Roldan echoed the thoughts of his colleagues. “There is no pressure during the tour. You just go out there and dance. No one’s critiquing you, no one’s judging you, you just go out there and have a great time with your family members.”

Season Two All-Star Allison Holker added that the lack of looming criticism helps make the tour different from the show in other ways, too. Particularly, a more personal interaction with fans and voters gives the dancers a new perspective to aid their motivation. “The show is really about us, and our experience as people,” Holker said. “But I feel like the tour is about those people that got us there, it’s about our fans. So it’s really nice to give back to them.” Season Seven breakdancer, or “b-boy,” Jose Ruiz agreed, and noted that support from the audience “just makes us dance harder.”

Of course, the personal and professional fulfillment the dancers receive from having their lifelong dreams unfold is an added perk. Roldan expressed his proud astonishment at finally being face to face with crowds of people who had watched him dance on television for weeks. “When you’re on the show, you kind of feel like you’re in a bubble,” he said. “You don’t see how many people watch the show. Then when you get to tour, and there’s thousands of people in the audience screaming your name … it’s, like, mind-blowing. It’s incredible.”

Roldan then laughed about his response to hearing the staggering ratings for the seventh season finale. “The final show we had 17.7 million viewers, and I was like, ‘If someone told me that before the show, I think I would pass out!’”

Ruiz was also thunderstruck with the reality of the show’s massive popularity. “[On tour] you actually get to see the people that vote for you. You get to see the fans,” he enthused. “When we hit that first show in New Orleans, that’s the first time where we were like, ‘Wow! A lot of people really watch the show! They weren’t lying!’”

When Season Six winner Russell Ferguson quipped, “It’s like being a rock star.” Ruiz was quick to elaborate and mentioned the audiences’ tenacious enthusiasm as evidence. “They are with us,” he declared. “They have our t-shirts, they have pictures of us, they make posters of us … it’s just amazing, just to see that.”

With the tour coming to a close and their futures closing in, many of the dancers expressed interest in expanding their post-SYTYCD showbiz efforts to include acting. Both Roldan and Froderman cited the recent industry trend of multi-tiered talent as their inspiration. “Something that I would love to do is something like Glee,” said Roldan. “It has dance, it has acting, and it has singing, and I think that that show … has a bit of everything that everyone can relate to … so hopefully something like that will come up.”

Froderman, fresh off her crowning victory, has her sights more broadly set. “We’ve been trained to be chameleons, and in this industry you have to be able to do everything,” she explained. “I wanna sing, I wanna act, I wanna dance, I wanna do it all. I wanna take over!”

Torbert took a more analytical approach to explain why he considers acting the next logical step in his career. To him, the art of dance and the experience of the show combined to provide the necessary background needed for a smooth transition. “We’ve had cameras in our face since, like, April … we’re forced to adapt,” he said. “Even though we’re dancing, we’re still actors, because we’re portraying stories and we’re trying to convey a message and connect with people.”

While the driven performers of SYTYCD are basking in their newfound fame and success, the physical demands of professional dancing and subsequent exhaustion have at least two former contestants ready to cross the two most important things off their to-do list post-tour.

When asked what his plans were, Season Three All-Star Dominic “D-Trix” Sandoval quipped, “We always just say, ‘Eating!’”

“And sleeping!” added Season Five All-Star Ade Obayomi.

“Yeah, eating and sleeping!” agreed Sandoval.

“Professional sleeping!” Obayomi declared, and punctuated with a hearty laugh.

The eighth season of So You Think You Can Dance will premiere this summer. For more info, go to: http://www.fox.com/dance/

For more on So You Think You Can Dance, click here.

Images courtesy of Erin Biglow and Poptimal.com.

Russell Ferguson (Season 6) & Jose Ruiz (Season 7) answering Poptimal.com's questions Russell Ferguson (Season 6) & Jose Ruiz (Season 7) answering Poptimal.com's questions	Robert Roldan (Season 7) laughing it up with our writers Robert Roldan (Season 7) laughing it up with our writers	Ade Chike (Season 7) & Lauren Froderman (Season 7 winner) Ade Chike (Season 7) & Lauren Froderman (Season 7 winner)
Kathryn McCormick (Season 6) & Kent Boyd (Season 7) Kathryn McCormick (Season 6) & Kent Boyd (Season 7)	Billy Bell; Ashley Galvan; AdeChike Torbert; Robert Roldan; Kent Boyd; Jose Ruiz; Lauren Froderman; Kathryn McCormick (Season 6); Dominic "D-Trix" Sandoval (Season 3); Ade Obayomi (Season 5); Courtney Galiano (Season 4); Allison Holker (Season 2); Russell Ferguson (Season 6 winner) Billy Bell; Ashley Galvan; AdeChike Torbert; Robert Roldan; Kent Boyd; Jose Ruiz; Lauren Froderman; Kathryn McCormick (Season 6); Dominic "D-Trix" Sandoval (Season 3); Ade Obayomi (Season 5); Courtney Galiano (Season 4); Allison Holker (Season 2); Russell Ferguson (Season 6 winner)	Courtney Galiano (Season 4) & Allison Holker (Seaons 2) Courtney Galiano (Season 4) & Allison Holker (Seaons 2)
Billy Bell (Season 7) Billy Bell (Season 7)	Billy Bell & Ashley Galvan Billy Bell & Ashley Galvan	Ashley Galvan (Season 7) Ashley Galvan (Season 7)
Ade Obayomi (Season 5) & Dominic "D-Trix" Sandoval (Season 3) Ade Obayomi (Season 5) & Dominic "D-Trix" Sandoval (Season 3)

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