Supernatural Review: Who Let the Dogs Out?

At first we thought we were getting werewolves, well about time since this season has already covered vampires and it’s only right that the other popular supernatural creature gets some screen time. But it turns out to be something cuter, dogs.

Well actually they’re skinwalkers, so it’s men who can shape shift into dogs. But still we get to meet Lucky the German Shepherd.

Sam and Dean begin investigating a series of murders where the hearts of the victims were missing. It’s obviously an animal attack so they first believe that this is the handy work of a werewolf. They track down a common denominator in a man whose brother and landlord were both killed. The Winchesters stake him out but he turns out to be just a crazy drunk. After they leave and head back to the motel, the man gets attacked and it turns out to be Lucky the dog who kills him, except Lucky is really a skinwalker.

The younger Winchester begins to suspect Mandy, the drunk’s girlfriend but when they go to question her, Dean instinctively realizes that she’s not the one. That same night, Sam is outside of Mandy’s house when he sees Lucky transform into a man and follows him to a park where he meets with another person. Lucky can smell Sam and breaks into a run before the hunter can catch him. At the last second he is hit by a car in dog form and taken to a local animal shelter.

Dean and Sam pick him up the next day and take him back to their motel for questioning. Sam is quick to threaten with a knife showing his current ruthless personality while Dean uses Lucky’s love for Mandy and her son to get him to help them. It turns out that he’d been recruited off the streets, placed with a family and when he’s given a signal he turns on them and administers the deadly bite, transforming them into skinwalkers as well. Lucky is a member of one of who knows how many sleeper cells all part of this growing number of reproducing monsters.

They convince Lucky to get them access to the leader of his cell in hopes of discovering where the alpha skinwalker might be. Things go awry though as Mandy and her son are taken as hostages to force Lucky to comply with his cell instead. Sam enters and begins to shoot the skinwalkers with Lucky helping his family stay safe. Dean meanwhile is perched higher above as a sharp shooter. He kills the head of the sleeper cell before the skinwalker has a chance to kill Lucky, who gets away. Lucky briefly returns to Mandy to apologize for the deception, but says that he is thankful for the kindness she had shown him.

This was not an exceptionally memorable episode but it is good for two reasons. First being the continued struggle Dean has with working for Crowley. It had been the demon king that gave them this assignment in the first place. Secondly Sam finally shows his brother his true soulless self. He tells Dean that he doesn’t really give a crap about anyone and that he’s sticking with Dean because he believes that his brother will help him get his soul back. The caveat to this version of Sam though is that he realizes that he should get back to the version of himself that did care, even though at times lacking emotions has made his life easier. With the good stuff comes the bad and he remembers the good things that came with being his old self. It’s the most honest that Sammy has been the entire season so far and Dean recognizes that this is a start.

It will be interesting to see if not having a soul for as long has he has will have a lasting effect on the younger Winchester. Will he also stay true to Dean? In this episode Sam even admitted that if they had been in a bad situation, he would double cross them without hesitation. It makes one wonder if that’s a foreshadowing comment given Sam’s lack of emotions and care for anything. Dean continues to play the conscientious hunter and it must be unnerving as he tries to figure out a way to stop working for Crowley and get his brother’s soul back at the same time.

Unfortunately it looks like the Winchesters will have to continue to play ball with Crowley. That is until they figure something else out; hopefully it won’t be too late.

Season 6, Episode 8: All Dogs Go To Heaven (originally aired Nov. 12, 2010)

Fridays at 9/8C on The CW

Images courtesy of The CW and Michael Courtney.

Smallville Review: Lois Squared

I have a feeling I’m not alone in my age bracket when I say that when I hear the name Lois Lane the first things that pop into my mind are images of Teri Hatcher as the feisty reporter in Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman, which ran on ABC from 1993-1997. She was the perfect modern Lois Lane and her performance alone helped raise the show a notch above its sometimes shoddy scripts and special effects. Since then, of course, we have found a remarkable new Lois Lane in the form of Erica Durance so it only seems fitting that when this week’s episode of Smallville called for Lois’s mother to appear that none other than Ms. Hatcher should play the role.

In the Smallville universe, Lois’s mother died of cancer while she was very young and upon moving into Clark’s house, Lois finds a box of things that her mom left for her including a series of video tapes of her saying goodbye and attempting to pass on as much motherly knowledge as possible before passing away. And although the appearance is brief, Hatcher delivers it with wonderful emotion and warmth that made it hard not to choke up a bit. I mean…not that I was sobbing by myself while eating ice cream in the fetal position…uhhhh…I’ll say no more.

Anywho…one of the lessons that Lois’s mom imparts on her is to not dwell on the loss of someone who is already gone as it will stop you from moving forward with a new love. This gets Lois’s brain moving and she starts to worry that Clark won’t be able to commit to her fully until he has resolved the issues between him and his Kryptonian father, Jor-El. Taking matters into her own hands, Lois finds the key that can transport someone to the Fortress of Solitude (I would expect Clark to be able to hide it a little better…) so she goes there and gives the ice walls a verbal lashing in hopes that Jor-El is listening and would take her advice to make nice with Clark.

But instead of healing the family feud Lois gets sucked up into some blue energy cage thing that Clark shows up to break her out of before they stumble upon a video that Jor-El (Julian Sands) and Clark’s mother, Lara (Helen Slater – the original Supergirl) made as they were sending his ship away from the exploding planet of Krypton. For the first time, Clark is able to see the emotional and somewhat fragile side of his birth father and it opens up a whole new perspective for him that takes the sting off of some of their recent disagreements.

On the Tess Mercer storyline front, comic book fans got a real treat with a bevy of DC Comics characters making their first appearance on the show in this episode. It all starts when Tess has a dream featuring a scared little girl and a music box. It doesn’t seem all that strange though until Tess wakes up and finds the music box in question in her house. With Clark’s help she tracks it to an orphanage where they both go posing as reporters to figure out what it means. Upon arriving, Clark’s super-hearing picks up the sound of a small girl in pain so he follows it and finds the girl tied to a chair claiming that Granny put her there and was trying to erase the memories of her dead parents.

The little girl then motions to a room saying that Granny wants her to turn out like “them.” Clark naturally investigates to find three badass chicks practicing their fighting skills. These are the Female Furies featuring most prominently Mad Harriet who is played by Lindsay Hartley, wife of series regular Justin Hartley. With her Freddy Krueger-esque claws, she and the girls take Clark down with the help of some burning Kryptonite coals nearby and begin torturing him. It is all rather kinky and disturbing.

Meanwhile, Tess meets with Granny Goodness (Christine Willes) who reveals that Tess was actually once a pupil of this orphanage and was put there by a rather powerful father. That’s right – Tess is none other than the spawn of good old Lionel Luthor! He really is the gift that keeps on giving. It also turns out that Granny was the one who brought Tess back from the dead in last year’s season finale so she could join her team for the impending war. Tess respectfully declines and almost gets hanged as a result but Clark breaks free of his torture scenario and saves her in the nick of time.

As the episode comes to a close we see Granny meeting with other minions of Darkseid as they continue to plan for the impending war but we also get to see confirmation that Clark has an engagement ring for Lois firmly in his pocket! So there are both great and horrible things on the horizon and as always I cannot wait to see them play out!

Season 10, Episode 8: “Abandoned”  (originally aired November 12, 2010)

Fridays at 8/7c on The CW.

Photographs courtesy of The CW and Jack Rowand.

127 Hours Review: Awe-Inspiring Brilliance

Every year a handful of movies that come out of Hollywood are based off of true stories. This year is no different as director Danny Boyle (Slumdog Millionaire, 28 Days Later, Trainspotting) has taken it upon himself to tell the story of Aron Ralston. Has Boyle found his next ticket into the Oscar race with Ralston’s tale? Does 127 Hours have what it takes to bring Boyle another statue for Best Picture at the Oscars? Read on to find out!

What’s The Story?

Aron Ralston (James Franco) is an outdoorsy, adventurous, thrill-seeking, adrenaline junkie who sets out for a weekend of biking, climbing, and exploring the trails of Utah. While exploring a gorge, a boulder comes loose, crushing and pinning Ralston’s right arm against the ravine’s wall. Ralston tries everything to budge the boulder, but it refuses to move. No matter how hard he tries, his arm remains stuck. Worse, Ralston told no one where he was going. Using the camera he brought to record his trip, Ralston begins to document his experience as he remains trapped with limited food and water.

So The Movie Is About A Guy Trapped In One Spot For 127 Hours?

There is more to this movie than Aron Ralston trapped in one spot. The first fifteen to twenty minutes of 127 Hours really capture the essence of who Ralston was before he gets himself trapped. Viewers get a chance to see his wilderness side as he guides two lost girls through the sun-beat gorge. My favorite part before the accident occurs when Ralston convinces the girls to trust him and then blindly plummets more than 100 feet into an underground lake.

Movie-goers will also get to witness Ralston as he evaluates his life in his imprisoned state. Trapped in one spot, Ralston examines his past memories trying to figure out how he ended up in the situation he is currently in. Along with the evaluation of his life, viewers will also get to witness Aron deal with the natural elements, freezing nights, and his body’s reaction to his current state.

How Is James Franco’s Performance?

I honestly don’t know if I can properly convey James Franco’s performance. It was phenomenal, mind blowing, breathtaking, and so much more. Franco held me in a trance for the last twenty to twenty five minutes of the film. The strife, the anguish, the breaking point. Never have I seen an actor dig deep within themselves to pull out the inspiration to survive. Never has the utterance of the word “Help” shook me to my core. Never have I been so moved by a movie. Franco’s performance is the reason. I will be shocked, utterly shocked, if he does not walk away with an Oscar.

Is There Anything You Didn’t Like?

There honestly wasn’t anything I didn’t like, but there were a few things during my watch that had me questioning a portion or two. All these concerns were resolved and made sense by the end of the movie.

While watching the movie I was very unsure of what to expect from the movies pacing. It really was hard to distinguish where it was headed or the reasoning behind some of the scenes. As I said before, it all comes together very well in the last twenty-twenty five minutes of the movie.

Any Warnings?

If you are faint of heart or can’t take gore/blood at all, I have to say this movie might not be for you. Majority of it is gore/blood free, but a scene towards the end will have you flinching, squirming, and covering your eyes. As soon as that scene occurred in theaters, everyone around me was watching through their fingers. It is difficult to watch.

Why Is The Scene Difficult To Watch? *Spoilers*

Reading this section will reveal a major spoiler for those that do not already know the story of Aron Ralston. Last warning. Skip or Be Spoiled.

In order to escape from his trapped position, Ralston has no choice but to cut off his right arm. The scene is shot in one take and shows the breaking of the bone, the cutting, and separation of the arm. It is gory, it is hard to watch, and Franco delivers tremendously.

Final Verdict

The credits rolled and I was left sitting in my chair trying to process the movie. 127 Hours is a hell of an experience that will take you on an emotional rollercoaster and leave you to cope with it by yourself. With Danny Boyle’s beautiful direction,  I can easily see this movie being nominated in both Best Picture, Best Actor, and Best Cinematography categories. I highly recommend 127 Hours to everyone out there. This is a movie you do not want to miss.

Final Grade – A

Skyline Review: Step Away from This Movie

For all the hype this movie got during San Diego Comic-Con it was an incredibly bad film. So bad that I laughed out loud in one particular scene because of how ridiculous it was. Needless to say you can skip this one as my friend aptly put, “I’m glad I didn’t have to pay to see this movie because otherwise I’d be pissed.” Up front this has got to be one of the worst films I’ve seen in awhile.

Skyline takes its plotlines from War of the Worlds, District 9 and The Matrix but does such a disjointed way of the telling the story that there really wasn’t much of one. Jarrod (Eric Balfour) and his girlfriend Elaine arrive in Los Angeles to visit Jared’s high school friend Terry (Donald Faison) who’s made it big in the City of Angels. We also meet Terry’s superficial girlfriend Candice (Brittany Daniel) and assistant Denise (Crystal Reed) with whom he’s been having an affair.

Just like any alien invasion film, we see the events that led up to the big moment and its humdrum. You see the douche bags that Terry has surrounded himself with in LA and Elaine gets pissed off that Jarrod is considering moving there after an offer from his friend to work with him. Elaine also turns out to be pregnant. After Terry’s birthday party a slew of these lights begin to descend into the city at around 4:30 am. The invasion has begun!

Fair warning, if you plan on seeing this film stop reading now.

***SPOILER ALERT***

What follows is a series of chases, deaths, and bad acting. There isn’t much of a plot as aliens arrive in earth to use humans for batteries a la The Matrix except it’s not as cool as the aliens need human brains to power themselves. Jarrod and company try a number of ways to get out of the building only to be stopped by the tentacled aliens with their pretty human abducting lights. The government even nukes one of the bigger alien ships but to no avail, the thing just puts itself back together.

One of the most ridiculous things about this film is that at the end Jarrod’s brain gets used by one of the aliens and instead of being a regular battery, Jarrod somehow retains his personality and takes over the alien instead, becoming the avenging creature heroically destroying the invaders from inside the alien ship. Though you only see that through stills as the ending credits role. You see, throughout the movie we’re told that there’s something strange going on with him after staring at the alien light one too many times that began to have a physiological effect on him. In Jarrod’s words he felt “powerful.”

So powerful that in one scene where an alien is about to steal his girlfriend’s brain, Jarrod loses it, goes vein-y, jumps on top of the creature, and begins to pound it’s exterior with a concrete block and then his own fists. This is the part where I couldn’t stop myself from laughing out loud because the acting was not only bad but the whole premise of the situation was so absurd. It really began to feel more like a comedy than an intense sci-fi action film.

Special effects wise, the aliens were decent enough I suppose and that is probably the best thing about this movie. It just lacked in originality, plot, character development and acting. The overall experience was just unsatisfying. There were too many holes that seemed ridiculous like the nuclear blast radius should have killed Jarrod and all the humans because they were definitely in range. They did mention radiation poisoning, but they were so close to the center it is certain that they would have been affected by it. Did the aliens not care that their human batteries were now poisoned?

The characters were also flat and one dimensional with bad dialogue and unremarkable performances. I expected more from Donald Faison who did a terrific job playing Turk in Scrubs but just gave an underwhelming portrayal of Terry, a hot shot LA douche. The film doesn’t even explain what Terry does for a living. We are never able to bond with any of the characters from Skyline because we are never given a chance too. Elaine is pregnant, well who cares because all we’re given is a woman who loves her boyfriend because he helps strangers but now she’s pissed that he might move to California without telling her. But wait where are Elaine and Jarrod from again? That’s right I don’t know either because that’s another detail that we don’t get. We have no idea what any of the characters do except for Denise who’s an assistant.

Since we aren’t emotionally invested in the stars of the movie, there is no sense of urgency for the fate of these characters from the aliens. Each scene becomes a question of is it over yet?

In any case this was one of those films that left you wondering what was that all about and berating yourself for the twelve dollars down the drain. If you are even considering seeing this movie don’t, save it for Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows Part 1.

Unstoppable Review: The Little Movie That Could

Considering the litany of Oscar hopefuls seizing reign at the multiplex this time of year, the average moviegoer may find it difficult to find a crowd-pleasing, well-made thriller that stands toe-to-toe with the plethora of pretentious propaganda being emblazoned on marquees in the coming weeks. For those who tire of talky dramas and wrenching performances – and even those who don’t, like yours truly – the arrival of Unstoppable, director Tony Scott’s second train-related thriller in as many years, is likely a breath of fresh cinematic air.

As straightforward and efficient as a locomotive itself, Unstoppable revels in its simplistic approach and doesn’t bother with symbolic imagery or overreaching themes about the human condition – and it doesn’t need to. Scott’s kinetically charged aesthetic and tendency to favor hyper-stylized camerawork and editing techniques partner well with the building tension surrounding the threadbare plot.

An unmanned freight train carrying enough hazardous materials to wipe out a mid-size city is careening down the Pennsylvania railroad at full throttle. Newly minted conductor Chris Pine (Star Trek‘s new Captain Kirk) and cantankerous veteran engineer Denzel Washington (in his fifth Scott film) are the unlikely heroes trying to stop the, ahem, unstoppable train before disaster strikes. A multitude of setbacks along the way thanks to simple laws of  physics, villainous corporate suits eager to deflect accountability, and plain ol’ bad luck actually help the suspense remain taut in the face of an otherwise clichéd premise. The deft transitions between multiple points of view serve the audience well, as the runaway train’s collision course is presented via several perspectives and gives Scott the opportunity to juxtapose narrative obligation with genuine character development in the span of just 95 minutes.

In spite of Unstoppable’s predictable storyline trajectory, earnest performances from Pine, Washington, and Rosario Dawson (Sin City) as the assertively capable yardmaster evoke sincere emotional resonance that helps the audience stay in touch while sitting on the edge of their seats. Pine’s Will Colson, a rookie conductor with familial connections in the union, is introduced as a swaggering, blue-collar Everyman with pending marital strife. Washington’s Frank Barnes is a gruff railway connoisseur forced into early retirement, leaving him with dwindling patience and pension. Don’t bother asking if these two men from opposite sides of the tracks end up seeing eye to eye in the aftermath of potential disaster; you probably already know the answer. Stock personality types such as these may initially seem trite and narrow in scope, but actually accompany Unstoppable’s no-nonsense style with appropriately forthright finesse. The characters’ main priority is the unstoppable train, and thankfully, so is the script’s.

Unstoppable does make sure to determine a firm sense of time and place, initially planting its roots with gritty establishing shots of the factories and railroads that pepper the terrain of rural Pennsylvania. Plumes of charred smoke waft throughout the landscape, accompanied by the grinding sounds of churning machinery. The intensity of effective visual and auditory stimuli correlates with the increasing severity of the troublesome train conundrum. Screeching brakes, heaving gear mechanisms and the sheer sense of thunderous physical prowess serve as continuing reminders to the audience that a runaway freight train is indeed a force to be reckoned with. When Dawson’s character equates the speeding locomotive to “a missile the size of the Chrysler building,” her grandiose metaphor hits closer to the likes of appropriate urgency rather than eye-rolling hyperbole.

The details of Unstoppable’s no-frills story are both unimportant and unnecessary to the overall purpose of the movie, and this review. Scott wisely chooses to explain the events leading up to the train’s runaway status in a concise manner that helps the film remain fixated on the non-stop motion that ensues during the calamity. A movie called Unstoppable, after all, shouldn’t spend too much time on static observations that only delay the action – the movie rightfully takes off as soon as the train does. What makes Unstoppable a decidedly more successful film than 2009’s The Taking of Pelham 123 is Scott’s decision to tone down the scenery-chewing theatrics and remain focused on the compelling event, wisely letting it unfold close to real time. While Pine and Washington work furiously to keep the hurtling train and its lethal contents from derailing, Scott thankfully does the same for his equally frenetic movie. Luckily for both the director and the audience, Unstoppable stays on a solid track of successfully thrilling suspense from start to finish.

 

Photo by Robert Zuckerman – © TM and 2010 Twentieth Century Fox Film Corporation

Grey’s Anatomy Review: Something’s Gotta Give

This week’s episode deals with the fallout of Cristina’s abrupt departure from the program and Arizona’s vacancy.  Seattle Grace is also “lucky” to have a VIP patient, a deathly ill Middle Eastern political leader.  His death would have global consequences, and Teddy and Owen must keep him alive while keeping everything hush-hush.

The hospital is all abuzz about Cristina quitting the program.  Derek is unfairly blaming Teddy, implying that she put too much pressure on her to return to surgery.  He is wrong but it’s only because he feels indebted to Cristina.  He credits her with saving his life and he also knows what it’s like to walk away from Seattle Grace.  He quit before too, and when he feels that the others are staging an intervention he tries to shut it down.  While this is going on, Cristina and Callie are planning an impromptu party for that evening.  Cristina is clearly in the midst of some mental crisis/breakdown/thingy; I don’t know what to call it, but she’s not normal.  She has just said “fuck it.”  I can dig wanting to chuck it all. I’m sure it’s liberating.  But it wasn’t a thoughtful decision, it was an emotional one – and it’s still sad to see a once great doctor just fall off like that.  It would be different if she walked away with her head high, but it almost seems like she let the shooter (Gary Clark) win.  She let it beat her.

To a lesser extent, Avery is having a breakdown too.   He initially freaked out because he thought his string of recent blunders was making the attending physicians avoid signing up with him for any surgeries.  When the Chief is preoccupied with the diplomat, he unloads a patient on Bailey, who now needs Avery’s help.  Bailey wants him to keep an eye on a patient with a fistula.  You can tell this isn’t the hands-on experience Avery wanted, and he feels like his task is menial.  He says that he will keep a vigilant eye on the patient.  However, I think his lack of enthusiasm made him take his eye off the ball for a second.  The patient takes a turn for the worst and Avery is forced to “open her up” while he waits for Bailey to finish up the surgery she’s in the middle of.  By the time Bailey arrives, the patient is dead and Avery loses it.  Before Bailey can say a word he says that it wasn’t his fault; these patients (with fistulas) die all the time.  After his meltdown, Bailey asks him to leave.

Everyone arrives at Cristina’s party later, only she’s nowhere to be found.  Derek tried to give her a head’s up that people were going to confront her about quitting and try to get her to rejoin the program.  The pair end up talking on the roof about what type of floor Cristina should use in her new place.  Downstairs things get interesting when Avery punches Alex in the face.  Alex has been kicking ass as a new resident, and is really on a roll at work.  The new pediatric attending who replaces Arizona is a little worm named Stark, and he tries to steal credit for another one of Alex’s brilliant ideas.  They are treating a baby that received a liver transplant, but who may not survive because the liver is too big and they can’t close her up immediately after surgery.  Alex comes up with the idea of using a ping pong ball to keep the liver from pressing against her organs and this would dramatically increase her chances of surviving the procedure.  Stark ends up trying to take credit for the idea after he made Alex feel like it was ridiculous.  While performing the procedure with Chief Webber, Stark lets Webber assume that the ping pong ball was his idea.  April won’t let him get away with it though, asking “Who came up with the idea again, Dr. Stark – was it you or Dr. Karev?”  Now the Chief knows whose cap gets the feather.

This is a roundabout way of me explaining why Avery decked Alex.  When April tells Alex how Stark tried to take credit and she stopped him, he kisses her.  One thing leads to another and clothes start coming off.  Remember that Little Miss Muffet is a virgin and that Alex is not the warm and fuzzy type.  April says she’s down, but when she hesitates, Alex snaps on her.  He yells that either she wants to screw or not, he’s not going to hold her “virgin hand.”  Ouch.  So that’s what April tells Avery, who feels like a big brother to the only friend he has left.  He hasn’t dealt with Percy and Reed’s deaths, and lashes out at Alex.  Alex was a jerk towards April, but that doesn’t mean he deserves to get pummelled by Avery.  Alex let him get one punch in (he deserved as much), but then Avery took it too far and had to be pulled off.

This was a pretty good episode, because we got to see depth of character and the writers have hinted at some interesting twists in the future.  Alex seems like a jackass, but he reveals that earlier he went back to his hometown to commit his brother to a mental hospital for treatment of schizophrenia.  He tried to kill their younger sister.  So, Alex is dealing with a lot in his personal life.  He doesn’t walk around in perpetual meltdown mode like everyone else, so you might not know what he’s going through.  He was wrong for the way he treated April.  But there’s more to it.  Another great episode.

Season 7, Episode 8: Something’s Gotta Give (originally aired November 11, 2010)

For more Grey’s Anatomy, click here.

Thursdays 9/8c on ABC

All photos courtesy of ABC and Ron Tom.

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Bones Review – Sans Dignity is the New Black

I’m going to go ahead and continue with last week’s theme – the seemingly never ending sinking of the Titanic. Especially in the James Cameron version, in which it seems like the ship is sinking for half of the film. Which is not to say I don’t enjoy that film. Seriously, if you say you don’t like that movie, I just think you’re lying.

Bones used to be full of snappy dialogue, an entire cast of characters on believable paths, a nice potential romance, and interesting plotlines. We’ve managed to lose most of those positives over the past two seasons. Tonight took the Bones ship another two feet under the icy water of the North Atlantic. It also had a touching moment, like the musicians deciding to play as the ship goes down. That made me happy.

The night started off with a bang when divers unearthed a sunken slave ship and delivered the remains to the Jeffersonian. Not only did we get a bonus, modern skeleton, but Hodgins (T.J. Thyne) got a bright pink, feathery sea worm he couldn’t identify. He was in heaven, and while he worked on figuring out how to remove it from the bones, the rest of the staff worked on identifying the remains of the slaves. We can tell Cam (Tamara Taylor) is having issues dealing with the sorrow of discovering her ancestors – maybe even her grandmother – in these conditions, and the story is poignant.

On a less poignant yet entertaining note, Bones (Emily Deschanel) and Booth (David Boreanaz) walk in on Daisy (Carla Gallo) and Sweets (John Francis Daley) doing the nasty in his office. Priceless. Daisy freaks out, worried that Brennan will fire her, but Sweets points out that Dr. Brennan is obviously not a prude. That’s an understatement. In fact, no one seems to care much at all that they were having sex during work hours. I need a job at the Jeffersonian.

It gets better. Or, at least, we get more sexual innuendo and more Sweets when the investigation leads them to two foster brothers. One is dead, the other works on a cruise ship. A cruise ship for cougars and their barely out of high school football jersey boy toys. This is where things take a ridiculous turn. Booth demands to speak with their suspect. The owner of the cruise states they’ll be back in four hours, they can talk to him then. Booth suggests perhaps they should go on board – I thought as a threat – but she takes him up on it, provided the baby faced Sweets will be joining them. And…they go?

Seriously, what F.B.I. agent would go on a four hour cougar cruise instead of demanding the suspect be brought off the ship.

Oh right. F.B.I. agents that act on shows where the writers go increasingly for cheap laughs in lieu of believable plot lines. So they get on the ship, some very obvious and yawnable hijinks ensue involving women rubbing all over Sweets, Booth getting called old (oh yeah, he’s worried about getting old in this episode. Hardly worth mentioning), and Bones smiling like an idiot at some guy half her age. Cheap laughs. Stupid situation. Lazy writing. These have become the hallmarks of a once great ship. Er, show.

The episode wraps up nicely when they arrest a jealous cougar lover, and we get a great scene from Angela (Michaela Conlin) that reminds us of why we love both her and Hodgins. She gives each of the drowned slaves a face, and Cam reads them off one by one at a press conference. It’s a rather nice moment.

Daisy and Sweets, in a completely unsurprising turn of events but in an adorable scene, decide to start dating again. I can get behind that.

It’s too late for this show. It might still pull together some nice moments, but it’s going to a watery grave, one carelessly written episode at a time.

Season 6, Episode 6: The Shallow in the Deep (originally aired November 11, 2010)

For more on Bones, click here.

Thursdays at 8/7c on Fox

Photographs courtesy of Fox, IMDbPro.

It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia Review: Racial Disobedience

This week’s guaranteed cult hit episode of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia fired on all cylinders to make for the most admirably multi-tasked effort from The Gang in recent memory. By acknowledging the loose ends left in the wake of last Thursday’s riotous installment and fully integrating an inside joke only alluded to in preceding episodes, most loyal Sunny fans will surely mark “Dee Reynolds: Shaping America’s Youth” as a new classic in the canon. I, however, am left wanting more.

Picking up shortly after last week’s cliffhanger, we begin at 8:30 a.m. on a Monday morning at the same Philadelphia high school where Dee has taken over Dr. Meyers’ drama class pending his recovery from hip surgery. Charlie has apparently taken a liking to his new vocational path as the popular, winking janitor – he’s shown strutting down the locker-lined hallways with a spring in his step as he high-fives and waves to nearly every student who walks by. The kids call Charlie “The Professor,” and the fact we never know why or how this nickname came to fruition only adds to its comic ingenuity.

Dee, on the other hand, is desperate for her students’ approval and impulsively, unwisely informs them she’ll be organizing a field trip to Broadway to expand their theatrical horizons. When this announcement is matched with a cricket-chirping silence, she quickly specifies, “I’m taking you to New York City.” The self-assuring whoops and hollers Dee was looking for immediately ensue. Let the educating begin.

Charlie interrupts a group of hoodlums bullying a student in the boys’ bathroom. The victim of the merciless taunts is Richie, a self-proclaimed “Juggalo” who paints his face in support of the Insane Clown Posse — a douchetastic pseudo-rap duo of galactically incomprehensible underground success. Side note: for those blissfully ignorant readers, the Insane Clown Posse and their followers are actual entities. These people have not, I repeat, have not been invented for the sole purpose to serve as entertainment value on a sitcom. I know. Yikes. I digress. Richie is unaware his ICP makeup may as well be in the design of a bullseye considering the negative attention it gets, and Charlie is just plain unaware who the Insane Clown Posse are. “You have a posse? Well, that’s good!” he tells chronic outcast Richie. The unlikely twosome bond when Richie admits his obsession with ICP has caused all his friends to ditch him. Well, yeah. “I lost all my friends, too,” Charlie quietly sniffs. Aww.

Meanwhile, Mac, Dennis and Frank are growing tired of prank calling Dee at school and are looking for a new way to amuse themselves. Reasoning, “We don’t need Charlie and Dee to have fun,” the guys bring up the possibility of finishing the long-overdue reshoots for their interpretation of Lethal Weapon 5. This unleashes a hilariously off-color debate among the trio over the appropriateness of blackface in modern cinema. Only Sunny would prompt such a sentence describing the antics of a television show’s main characters without attaching a single disclaimer. Dennis regrets he and Mac’s decision to switch roles in the middle of filming in order for Mac to make like Robert Downey, Jr. in Tropic Thunder (minus the intentional satire) and tackle the role of Murtaugh in, um, full Danny Glover regalia — if you’ve seen Sunny, you surely know what I mean.

Mac thinks the job of an actor is to “create an illusion” that matches the character’s physical appearance and persona, regardless of any racial juxtaposition. He tells Dennis there are plenty of examples of white actors donning blackface in order to properly engross themselves in their roles. Dennis sarcastically agrees, listing C. Thomas Howell in Soul Man and the Wayans brothers in White Chicks (which is actually “reverse blackface,” Dennis notes) as particular instances of interest. Mac isn’t amused and tells Dennis it’s actually more offensive for him to play Murtaugh in “whiteface,” since that would be both inaccurate and disrespectful to the race of the character. Of course.

Frank pipes in with the surprisingly astute observation that renowned actor Laurence Olivier had once played Othello, but ruins his spark of insight by bringing up the importance of “getting the lips right” when making a racial transformation. Citing The Jazz Singer as an archetype, Frank adds, “The whole idea is getting the right color shoe polish.” Sigh. Dennis continues to think he’s the politically correct one of the bunch when he points out how even the great Laurence Olivier’s turn as the African prince of Shakespearian lore surely offended African-Americans of the time. He punctuates his argument by shifting his voice into a brazenly stereotypical voice meant to depict the speech patterns of African-American males: “What that white man doin’?” When Mac points out Dennis’ blatant hypocrisy, Dennis blindly retorts, “That’s just how black people talk. That’s not racist.”

Mac continues to insist blackface is just another method an actor uses to reach creative Zen – if the accuracy of the performance depends on it, why should it be considered controversial? Besides, he adds, it is just acting. “In The Lord of the Rings movies, Ian McKellen plays a wizard,” Mac says. “Do you think he goes home at night and shoots lasers into his boyfriend’s asshole?” Duly noted. The guys also take note of Tom Cruise being able to “play normal-sized guys” despite being “a midget” in real life – that one had me howling – but run into a snag when Frank lauds James Earl Jones’ remarkable use of blackface. When Mac and Dennis explain James Earl Jones is black, Frank points out that Darth Vader is white, and calamitous confusion commences.

Dee, meanwhile, has encountered a snag of her own when Principal McIntyre informs her with near slack-jawed incredulity (Dave Foley’s incredible deadpan delivery is award worthy) that, as a substitute, she isn’t permitted to transport students across state lines. Besides, he adds, public school funding for arts education is virtually non-existent anyway; even if Dee were permitted to chaperone such an excursion, the money, sadly, just isn’t there. Cut to Plan B, which involves Dee ringing up the three amigos at Paddy’s to let them know she’ll be bringing the kids by for a private movie screening. Mac, Dennis and Frank suggest showing Othello in order to get some outside input on the blackface debate. Charlie, having also been spurned by the principal’s no-nonsense rule following, will arrive with a newly fresh-faced Richie in tow.

Once Dee corrals the kids inside the bar and unsuccessfully tries to impress them with their decidedly adult surroundings (“I’ve been to a bar before,” one girl spats. “I’ve been to this bar before!” another student scoffs), the guys surprise everyone by abandoning Othello and screening their own Lethal Weapon 5 instead. “It’s a better, modern day example” of blackface, Mac explains. With a considerably more reliable barometer with which to gauge the audience’s reaction, the guys hope to put an end to their hot-button debate once and for all.

While die-hard Sunny fans were surely squirming in their seats with excitement, the entire third-act devotion to an exclusive viewing of the Gang’s Lethal Weapon 5 brought the episode to a screeching halt for me. I loved certain aspects of the “movie” itself – Dennis’ Aussie accent when playing Riggs was a nice touch – but felt it should have been shown independent of this episode. Despite incorporating the kids’ awestruck reactions (“This is the greatest movie ever made!” exclaims one lad) to the eventual firing of Dee and Charlie from the high school, the screening of Lethal Weapon 5 only interrupted an already riotous episode brimming with scathing social commentary. Frank’s horrifying sex scene aside, Charlie’s hysterically bad acting and the Gang’s inept production skills make their presentation of Lethal Weapon 5 absolutely worth seeing, but I would have rather been treated to a more detailed conclusion to the blackface debate within the episode. Instead, we’re still left wondering whether or not Charlie has been fully accepted back into the Gang and if they ever decided whether or not Mac’s Soul Man approach to the character of Murtaugh is pushing the envelope. Regardless of their conclusion, at least one person was clearly influenced by what he saw: the last scene of the episode shows Richie in Principal McIntyre’s office displaying – you guessed it – full blackface.

Season 6, Episode 9: Dee Reynolds: Shaping America’s Youth (originally aired November 11, 2010)

For more on It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, click here.

Thursdays at 10pm on FX

Photographs courtesy of FX and IMDbPro

Burn Notice Review: The Lion Comes to Play

Burn Notice returns for the premiere episode of its winter season and Michael and Crew are in fine form… that is unless of course you count the bullet lodged in Michael Westen’s chest. The show picks up with the courage of Rambo and all the enthusiasm of a limping puppy as a wounded Michael struggles to keep on top of crime. Also, Michael’s keeper says goodbye, the crew finds a target on their back, and all of Miami becomes a ticking time bomb.

Last time on Burn Notice, Michael met up with John Barrett to trade information on Simon’s Bible in hopes of finding out the names of the people who burned him. Turns out that didn’t go so well. Barrett’s dead, Michael’s been shot and Simon’s Bible has been stolen.

We pick up this week as a seriously wounded Michael wakes in the hospital surrounded by a worried Fiona and Sam. After three days unconscious, Michael is urged by Fiona to get out of bed finally and get back on the case. It’s clear that Fi has reached her emotional limit and just wants a return to normalcy. She tells Michael that when she saw him lying on the ground she thought that he was … you know, she is clearly troubled by this thought. Jesse comes to visit Michael, and Michael seeks a return to normalcy as well and asks Jesse for his help to find out who stole the briefcase. Jesse is unmoved, but agrees to help Michael because “it’s the right thing to do” and also, he wants a say in what they do with the information. Madeline comes to visit and she tells Michael that until he is better he will be staying with her. Michael at first refuses, then relents when she pleads for him to “let me take care of my boy.”

Michael is still recovering when an emergency system sounds, and the hospital is flooded by the incoming wounded from a nearby explosion. Michael and Sam talk to one of the victims to see if they can get any information into what happened. Enter here Alicia who is at the hospital with her brother Wade. Alicia tells Michael and Sam that she believes the bomb was an attack against her brother’s employer. Her brother works for Dale Lawson, the man who kidnapped the daughter of Michael’s former client, Scott. Red flags go off for Michael and Sam. Could this be a revenge attack? Alicia is the new client.

Right about here, Vaughn re-emerges to tell Michael that he’s getting out of Miami for a while. With the massive media coverage on the events in Miami, Vaughn is steering clear of the town. He suggests that Michael keep a low profile until things blow over.

Michael’s search for the bomber leads him to “trust fund psycho” and bomb hobbyist Dennis Wayne Barfield. Sam takes Mike to do a little espionage at Barfield’s place, but much to his frustration Michael is physically unable to do the job. With sensitivity in his right shoulder, Mike can’t break into Barfield’s place or escape over a fence when Barfield returns. Barfield comes back to find Michael crumpled on the ground outside his house. Michael’s first introduction to Barfield comes by way of the business end of a .45. With a bit of groveling and a ton of flattery, Michael manages to convince Barfield that he is not actually a thief but rather his biggest fan who after seeing his latest work (the bombing) had to meet him. Barfield tells Michael to take a hike but that there’s “more to love coming soon.”

On the other side of things Fiona and Jesse are following up on who took the briefcase. They narrow their search to Mark Sweeny, a member of Barrett’s security team who has since gone into hiding. Jesse and Fi finds Sweeny’s car in the police impound and bribe their way into searching it. A clue in the car sends them off to the University of Miami where they question a student who tells them that Sweeny wanted some files decoded. Because the encryption was over his head the guy sent Sweeny to a guy named Justin Walsh. When Michael and Jesse go to talk to Walsh about the files, they find Sweeny dead and Walsh (with the briefcase) missing.

Back on the bomb front, Michael and Sam are at Barfield’s place and while Mike keeps Barfield distracted, Sam is busy searching his house. What they find is horrifying. Michael learns from Barfield that the radio triggers on the bombs are weak and can easily go off, while Sam learns that Barfield delivered 5 bombs around the city. So now we have 4 live bombs that can go off at a hairsbreath. Mike and Sam go to visit their good friend Scott. They know he’s connected to Barfield, and want to know where the bombs are. Scott denies any knowledge of the bombs, but agrees to call Barfield off. Later, Michael gets a call from Barfield who, unaware that they have met, tells Mike that he’s coming after him.

Trying to stop Barfield before he can hurt anyone else, Mike and Fi track Barfield by his cell phone. They are surprised to find that Barfield is on Fi’s block. Actually he’s right in front of her house. Fiona wants to take him on, but Michael tells her it’s too dangerous so she jumps out the window instead. Barfield walks into the empty house carrying a bomb. One of Fiona’s new neighbors saw Barfield break into the house and called the cops who arrive right after Michael goes in. Mike wants to know where the bombs are but at this point Barfield is ready to take out the whole world rather than surrender. He’s planning to set off the bomb, killing himself, Michael, and the cops outside. Michael reminds Barfield of the other bombs he hid and asks who will set those off. Michael volunteers to detonate the devices if Barfield will tell him where they are hidden. Barfield agrees and Michael leaves the house with the addresses.

This leaves Barfield and the bomb alone in Fiona’s house. While Sam and Fi think over how to get Barfield to surrender without killing anyone, Jesse decides to take matters into his own hands. He has the bomb’s detonator and without a pause he sets it off, blowing up Barfield and Fiona’s new house (“sometimes you got to put the rabid dog down.”). Jesse walks away.

Wow! I gotta say I found Jesse’s cold-hearted maneuver shocking and more than a little intriguing. I always figured Jesse like a tamed lion: he’s sweet and eager to step up for the good guys. But with this action it’s like he’s going to show you he’s also got some claws. And they’re going to come out. I didn’t imagine this side of Jesse but now that I see it, I am left with only one thought: Did he just get sexier? I didn’t think that it was possible but there it is.

For details on how to win a Burn Notice Gift Bag, including a Season 3 DVD set, click here.

Season 4, Episode 13: Eyes Open (originally aired November 11, 2010)

For more on Burn Notice, click here.

Thursdays at 10/9c on USA Network.

Images courtesy of USA Network.

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