Glee Review: The Dog Days Are Right Here.

Last week while I was prepping for Thanksgiving (not cooking; rather, eating large meals to stretch out the stomach walls), there was a Glee wedding.  I’m not going to review it here — suffice it to say it was largely a filler episode that ended with Kurt leaving McKinley High for Dalton Academy.

Ugh. Emma’s back.  Will invites her to be his +1 at Sectionals this year, and she’s game, at least before she runs to Las Vegas to marry Jesse Carl, but that happens later.  Will’s decided to do the same song types as he’s done in the past (Rachel/Finn duet, Mercedes big finish) but changes his mind when Emma urges him to break the mold.  Thus, Will switches it up, deciding that Quinn and Sam should duet and that Brittany and Mike should dance.  Rachel is not pleased. Then, to rub salt in the wound, Santana reveals that she and Finn slept together last season, sending Rachel into a tailspin. They try couples’ counseling with Emma, but that’s pretty much a wash, as Finn doesn’t even yet know that you never, ever, admit that a girl your girlfriend hates is “super hot.”  As a result, Rachel ends up sulking throughout the episode, being insanely unlikeable and provoking Schuester to yell at her.

Meanwhile, Kurt is at Dalton, where everyone wears matching snazzy navy blazers with red trim.  As a brand new Warbler, he’s given a canary to take care of but is stripped of any say in song choice.  His opinion doesn’t count over at Dalton, and when given an opportunity to audition for a solo, he goes for “Don’t Cry for Me Argentina,” which is a FAIL.

With Kurt at Dalton, there’s a spot open in New Directions, and Puck is recruited to find a replacement.  Puck accepts his role as Glee amBADASSador, but ends up locked in a porta-potty as a result.  He’s rescued after 24 hours by Lauren Zizes, who agrees to replace Kurt for Cadbury eggs and 7 minutes in heaven.  (Puck’s rapidly becoming my favorite small player on the show — can’t tell what I liked better, when he said that Lauren rocked his world, or when he told Rachel his arm muscle was due to steroids.)

At sectionals, Kurt and Rachel share a moment before their performances, which is nice.  Then the Hipsters performed and I’m SO HAPPY to see them. Their geriatric performance of  “The Living Years” was hands-down the best joke of the episode. The Warblers perform “Hey, Soul Sister” and I like their version better than Train’s, but that’s because when a song is as cheesy as that one is, it requires a deliberately cheesy showcase like a synchronized singing competition.  Backstage, though, Glee is having a meltdown.  Rachel’s pissed that Finn lied to her about Santana, Quinn’s got stage fright, and both Artie and Tina suspect their significant others of dancing together– horizontally, that is.  So Schuester has to yell at them (again!), and they get it together enough to perform a woefully average “(I’ve Had) The Time of My Life” and a decent “Valerie” (the latter aided by some pretty acrobatic choreography).  They tie for first with the Warblers, which, if I was a Warbler, I’d think was bullshit; it was not that good.

Back at McKinley, Will breaks the news to Emma about sectionals, and she breaks the news that she’s married.  What’s next, writers?  Is she going to get a new job at another school, thus moving her even further away from Will?  No seriously, can we move her?  Far away from McKinley?  I mean, I really don’t care about this character at. all.

So Will’s crushed.  And Finn’s crushed too, because while Rachel was so pissed at him, she almost slept with Puck.  So they break up.  And then Glee sings “Dog Days Are Over,” which is one of those songs that I like because I have absolutely no idea what it’s about.

No Sue this episode.  Yet we had Emma.  That should never, ever happen again.

Want more Glee? Read Stephanie Jaar‘s review of this episode, “The Glee Club is Falling Apart,” here.

Season 2, Episode 9: Special Education (November 30, 2010)

For more  Glee, click here.

Tuesdays at 8pm on Fox

Photographs courtesy of Fox and IMDbPro.