American Idol Review: A Kinder, Gentler Idol

So, as Week 2 of auditions continue in Milwaukee, Wisconsin and Nashville, Tennessee, one thing is becoming increasingly clear: This is not Simon Cowell’s American Idol. Between the larger focus on heartwarming stories, pleasant voices, and J.Lo constantly telling the very mild and non-mean Randy Jackson that he is “being mean” to contestants, this year’s season of  Idol comes across like a glass of flat soda – no fizz. More than half the fun of watching the auditions has always been the judges (Simon’s) reactions to the truly awful and bizarre contestants. It just doesn’t have the same effect to hear Randy tell some dude “That wasn’t good,” followed by  J.Lo scolding him by saying:m “Randy, don’t be mean! Just tell them ‘no’.” Well what the hell fun is that? At least we got some entertainment when Steven Tyler made this insane proclamation after hearing Scotty McCreery’s throwback, low country-style voice,” Well, hellfire save matches! F**k a duck and see what hatches!” At that point, the entire Idol crew was so starved for something exciting to happen that they all laughed way too loudly and excitedly. Welcome to American Idol without the bite, harsh honesty, and wit of Simon Cowell, folks. For me, it’s going to take some getting used to.

Nevertheless, here we are on the kinder, gentler Idol. And in both cities, the judges once again took their seats in front of the giant window that always somehow has a huge body of water behind it. And boats. Lots of boats. It is impossible for me to mention each and every highlight of the episodes, since that would be a nine-page review. So, let me break it down as best I can by focusing on a few that stood out to me personally. Here we go:

The Good:

Contestant Jerome Bell had a voice that was filled with soul as he sang a Marvin Gaye tune, and a personality larger than life. How can you not like this guy? I fell in love with him immediately.

Scott Dangerfield seemed to be “Clay Aiken: The Sequel” in looks – and possessed some insanely talented vocals, while accountant and auditor Steve Beghan had a surprising, beautiful tone. Plus, as an added bonus, he picked up Seacrest and held him in the air like he was an infant, which made me very happy.

Some other names that stood out in the talented or “has potential” category included Danny Pate, Paul McDonald, Jackie Wilson, Thia Magia, Molly Swenson (an intern working for Obama at The White House), Hailey Reinhart (perv Steven Tyler was looking her up and down), Tiwan Strong, Naima Adedapo, Adrianne Beasley (a black girl who was adopted by white parents who lives on a farm and talks like Ma and Pa Kettle), and Matt Dillard. Wow, that list was long.

The “WTF was THAT???”:

These are the contestant hopefuls that fall into the category of horrific, terrible, or just completely baffling on all levels. Kody Zaleweski definately fit the last one, with his bizarre “punching the air with fists while singing in unexplainable voice” rendition of a Lady Gaga song. Coming in a close second was Chris Kammer, who wore a silver martian-like suit and carried a gigantic toothbrush. Yes, you heard me. A toothbrush that was the size of a person. In third place we have Latoya Moore, whose screeching, piercing, awful voice just goes to prove that anyone can record an album (she brought in her freshly recorded CD for the judges to share).

Honorable mentions go to the following weirdos: Nathaniel Jones – a Civil War re-enactment actor, who takes his work a bit too seriously and showed up in full costume. His singing was just as confusing and made Randy Jackson laugh while trying to hide behind his Coca-Cola glass. Mason Wilkinson – who got so nervous that he turned his back to the judges for what seemed like an hour before singing – then launched into the most terrible array of notes you will ever hear in your lifetime. Megan Frasier was an over-the-top Packers fan with a very annoying accent and personality. Her song choice was a Justin Bieber song, sung in Opera style. Awful.

The “We Want You to Focus on and Love this Person, so We are Going to tell you their Sad Backstory in Order to Tug at Your Heartstrings”:

There was only one real candidate in this category this week, but it was a doozy. Contestant Chris Medina, who dated his fiance Juliana Ramos for 8 years before proposing marriage. Then, just two months before their wedding, she was in a severe car accident that left her with a serious brain-injury. The wedding was put on hold, and Chris and Juliana’s mom became the girl’s sole caretakers. When Medina told the judges that he just wanted to do something that would make Ramos smile again, the judges asked to meet her.  With her in the room, they put Medina through to Hollywood. When the judges were all standing around Ramos in her wheelchair,and Steven Tyler whispered into her ear “That’s why he is so good when he sings – because he is singing to you,” that was the end for me. Cue the tears. You have done it again. You got me. You manipulative, evil show. You got me. Damn you, Idol !!!  That story alone and the amazing character of Medina to stand by his fiance is enough to tug at anyone’s heartstrings. The fact that the guy can really SING is what makes the story that much more wonderful. If he gets through, he’s got my vote for sure. Below is the link of the YouTube video of his complete audition, including backstory. If you watch this and are not moved, it is official: you are not a human being.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=elaXeN15isM 

Next week: the team of  extra nice, Oprah-style judges with their: ”Hey, this guy sounds pleasant enough, let’s put him through! Let’s put everyone through! You’re goin to Hollywood! And you’re going to Hollywood! Everyone is going to Hollywood!” continue their auditions in Houston Texas. If you have a mediocre, okay voice or you sound slightly pleasant, this is your year! Go and get your undeserved fame!

Need more Idol? Read “You’ll Laugh, You’ll Cry.” by Erin Biglow.

Season 10, Episodes 3-4 (originally aired January 26 & 27, 2011)

Wednesdays and Thursdays, 8/7c on FOX

Images courtesy of imdbpro

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