The Vampire Diaries Review: Everyone Just Needs to Stop Kissing Caroline and Kiss Me Instead!!

It’s been a long cold winter without my Stefan Salvatore (Paul Wesley) so imagine my joy when The Vampire Diaries’ first new episode in almost two months presented him topless within the first few minutes! It was nearly satisfying enough to make me shut off the TV and wait until next week’s episode to watch more but I decided to stick with it and summarize the episode for you fine people.

In the aftermath of the events that took place way back in November the biggest storyline this week was the rapidly degrading health of Rose (Lauren Cohan) who succumbed to a severe bite from a new female werewolf in town, Jules (Michaela McManus). Rather than die a quick death, Rose suffers from a pretty unsightly wound on her back and a debilitating mental state that basically has her going crazy quickly. Damon (Ian Somerhalder) desperately seeks a cure by tracking down and questioning Jules but…you can probably guess how helpful she is.

While Damon is out searching for the likely non-existent cure, Elena (Nina Dobrev) plays nurse and does a pretty decent job until Rose completely loses her shit, goes on a bagged blood binge, and attempts to kill Elena thinking that she is Katherine. The chase that follows was easily scarier than anything I’ve seen in any horror film from the last few years and actually made me jump and squeal a little bit. Just a little bit though. Don’t start thinking I’m a complete weeny.

Elena is able to barricade herself in a safe room so Rose moves on to some kind of pep rally at the school where she kills an innocent janitor and some stupid teens before Damon finally catches up and is able to get her back home. What happens next though was completely unexpected. While lying in bed comforting Rose, Damon controls her dream to take her to a historic and picturesque countryside where they banter about who she’ll meet on the other side. He slowly takes away her fear of death and in a harsh but beautiful moment, sticks a stake in her heart to ease her suffering. Damon sheds a single tear and it just might be a new defining moment for his character.

He then turns her body over to the police for the murders. Waste not, want not, I guess.

But just when you think Somerhalder has had enough shining Damon moments for one episode, he gets a final scene where we find him lying drunk in the middle of the road. A pretty young woman discovers him there and asks if he needs help. He indeed begs for help but then paralyzes her as he unleashes his feelings about missing humanity and the existential crisis that is ripping him apart. In all of the shows and movies that I’ve seen Somerhalder in over the years, he has quite simply never been better than in these closing moments. Even as he brutally murders the innocent girl we feel nothing but sympathy for him and last I checked that’s no easy task for an actor, writer, or director. So kudos to this show – I think it just took a step into something greater than many ever expected it could be.

Other story-lines took a bit of a backseat to Damon and Rose this week. For instance, my husband, Stefan, who started off the episode with such shirtless promise was mostly absent in a quest to make a phone call to Isobel. He didn’t even succeed in that though. Instead he shows up at the end with the odious Uncle John who will likely make everyone miserable again. On the bright side, it’s good to know my gag reflex still works.

Caroline’s (Candice Accola) man issues continued as Matt (Zach Roerig) tries to forcibly kiss her into dating him again. She cruelly denies him by saying that she loves him and then running away. She then encounters Tyler (Michael Trevino) who also forcibly kisses her for being so nice to him and thus prompting my favorite frantic line of the season so far: “Everyone just needs to stop kissing me!!” I agree with her. Share the wealth, boys!

And finally, Jules and Tyler met for the first time and she pledged to help him not only become a better werewolf but also spills the beans that Caroline may have played a role in Mason’s death. So I hope Caroline enjoyed her forced kiss from Tyler because I’m pretty sure next time he puts his lips on her she’s going to get a little more teeth. And let’s face it – nobody likes too much teeth.

Season 2, Episode 12: The Descent (originally aired January 27, 2011)

The Vampire Diaries airs Thursdays at 8pm on The CW.

Images courtesy of Quantrell D. Colbert and The CW.