Chuck Review: The Perfect Finale That Never Was

If you’re an über Chuck fan like me, you may follow @JoshSchwartz76, the show’s co-creator. Late Monday night, he tweeted, “Chuck fans are you ready for the last 10 mins of next weeks episode? Only if you watched tonight!” Instantly, I wondered what the epic 10 minutes could include. Someone’s death? Someone’s birth? Someone’s engagement?! Chuck has always been an “on the bubble” show, even though it’s one of NBC’s most consistent programming and is funny, heartwarming, exciting, and just ridiculously awesome. I clearly don’t get the execs, but they’ve always kept the show waiting. Would Chuck get a full season pick-up? Would it return the following year? And every season, the writing staff has written a mid-season finale because they would never leave the loyal viewers hanging. We deserve closure, and if this had been the series finale, it would have been an extremely satisfying one.

After the shocker that was last week’s Casey cliffhanger, we pick up in the hospital with Chuck, Alex, Morgan, and Ellie. It’s a clever and logical way to insert the always absent Sarah Lancaster into the episode for a few more seconds than usual. She’s there to make sure Casey gets the best care, and he must be because it’s not long before he starts grunting like his old self and points them to his pants pocket. Inside is part of an eye that Chuck flashes on and figures out a tie to Hydra, the network database of Volkoff information that Sarah and Frost are working to uncover.

Across the Atlantic, the two ladies break into Volkoff’s lair. It looks like any Matrix-level, hi-tech office but calling it a lair seems more appropriate. They use the two minutes they’ve bought to search through his computer for the incriminating Hydra network. Of course, he calls at that exact moment and wants his long distance love chat, and we get to see Frost put on her pretend face.  They discover he’s entrusted the network to the Contessa, and Sarah reports into Beckman.

In Burbank, Beckman debriefs Chuck on Sarah’s mission, but all he can think about is pulling her out. He’s freaked that she almost killed Casey in pursuit of the mission, but Beckman ignores his request. He decides to be a bystander no longer and promises take down Volkoff, the man who ruined his family’s life, on his own with Morgan’s help. First step, find the designer of Hydra. Chuck ties up some brotherly duties by making Ellie a push mix and letting Awesome know that he’s ordered a CIA protection team to come a runnin’ if Awesome comes a callin’. The push mix leads Jeff and Lester to the fantastic idea of a live performance, “delivery-style,” to welcome the next Baby Bartowski into the world. These spontaneous performances are treading the thin overkill line, but this turned out to be one of the funniest to date.

Volkoff gets a very clear memo that Orion wants his wife back when a message pops up on his computer screen. Orion was Steven Bartowski, Chuck’s dad, and he’s now dead. How a dead guy broke into his computer system is the next mystery, and this immediately triggers Volkoff to take Frost to a safe place and order one of his men with finding Orion.

At the same time, Chuck and Morgan think they’ve nabbed the Hydra network engineer Roni Eimacher but get the wrong guy instead. When they finally get the right nerd, he points out that the Contessa isn’t a person but a boat. And just like that we’re transported to the Contessa as Volkoff, Frost, and Sarah approach. Sarah guesses that Hydra must be on the boat, and Frost realizes that Volkoff would only bring them there if something spooked him. Moments later, Chuck and Morgan climb aboard. Frost tells Sarah that she’s being sent home whether they find Hydra or not, even though Sarah promises not to leave without her. Frost doesn’t want Sarah to follow in her footsteps or for Chuck to follow in his dad’s, but when the group meets up, Chuck holds his ground and says they’re going to work as a team. Finally, everyone is clearly on the same side. They run into a few speed bumps before finding the network hub, like Morgan having to evade lasers that could cut him in half. Luckily, he’s a self-proclaimed “yogi, peaking mentally and physically.” The biggest roadblock appears when they need Volkoff’s voice activation. Without it, an alarm is triggered, and Volkoff and his men have them surrounded in seconds. Frost pulls a gun on her faux-lover, allowing the other three to reluctantly run away even though it traps her.

In anger, Volkoff shows her the hidden message from Orion, says he found more on the server and accuses her of talking with Orion for so many years behind his back. She claims to know nothing but says her husband will always be more of a man, dead or alive. The message says to head to Orion’s cabin in the woods, but it’s a trap orchestrated by Chuck. Orion isn’t alive, but he knew that Volkoff’s desire to kill him would be a big enough draw. Chuck even bitch slaps him!

Volkoff, being the evil man that he is, taunts and pushes Chuck even when the boy-spy is pointing a gun at his head. He threatens Chuck’s family and friends, all the while, he’s loosening those weak knots Chuck tied him up with. There’s a montage of Frost, captured and guarded, and the henchman who walks into the hospital where Ellie, Awesome, Casey, and Alex still are. Then, Volkoff is out and kicking serious Chuck butt. The man is scary, but now, it’s Chuck’s turn to laugh in the face of danger.

“I can’t believe you haven’t figured out the solution yet,” he says before going into a slightly confusing explanation about how the Orion messages contained a virus that allowed the transfer of all the Hydra files to a network built into Orion’s cabin. “Solution?” says Volkoff, and this word gives Morgan the last snippet of Volkoff’s voice recognition password phrase, “Death is the solution to all problems.” Chuck continues, “My father, he taught me a lot of things – like looks can be deceiving, fight for your family, and of course, never use a gun unless you absolutely have to.”

You see, the henchman thought he neutralized his first target, but Casey isn’t actually dead and takes him out instead. Sarah never left and, instead, rescued Frost. And the biggest reveal, though the most expected if you know the real Chuck, the gun was never loaded. Volkoff fires back, “You’re going to need an army to get out of here alive.” And an army is exactly what’s behind him, lead by General Beckman. She arrests Volkoff and congratulates Chuck, all in time to make Ellie’s baby’s birth.

Awesome was pretty adorable, freaking out over his baby’s birth and losing Chuck’s push mix, and he should have been since it was actually stolen. Jeffster had already struck! I almost died of laughter when the two arrive at the hospital and call the nurse a candy striper while trying to figure out where the delivery room is located. When they fail, the odd couple burst into song in the maternity ward with the winning choice of “Push It” by Salt-N-Pepa.

But the laughter is short lived. I have to commend Lancaster. Ellie’s rarely on screen, but man, that girl can convey a lot with her face in only a few seconds. A painful grimace and a soft smile at the sight of her mom, and I was almost in tears. But that’s not the most epic part. The final moments roll, and there’s a man polishing the floors. Chuck and Sarah sit outside the delivery room. He lovingly stares at her and pushes a strand of hair from her face. He stands and opens the pretty, red box. Her eyes light up.  “Young Blood” by Naked And Famous is the only sound we can hear, but the picture’s painted. There’s no need for a fancy proposal. They love each other and want to be with each other, and that’s all that matters. We close up on the polisher, and in the background, Chuck drops to one knee, and Sarah obviously says yes. Let the tears roll and roll…and now I’m swimming, as the sounds of a floor polisher ushers in a fade to black.

This season, so far, has been consistently funny, emotional and suspenseful, something Chuck does extremely well when all the elements fit together. Timothy Dalton, as Volkoff, was an inspired find, and the fact that he’s alive leaves me with hope that we’ll see him again. I understand viewers who wished they would have heard exactly what Chuck said or exactly how Sarah responded. But there was something about the perspective of an outsider, with the polisher and the legs in the forefront of the frame and all that plain and simple happiness just occurring in the background. It’s so different from the over-the-top plans Chuck initially had or the action-packed show’s pace, and in my mind, it was just right. It’s time to rewind.

QUOTABLES

“I still gotta find someone to make Ellie’s placenta into vitamin pills.” – Awesome

“You didn’t tell me you were gonna be wearing something else underneath that wetsuit!” – Morgan

“Morgan, are you telling me you’re not wearing any clothes under there?” – Chuck

“Underwear, Chuck, I’m wearing underwear…how do you even fit anything else under there? Where does it all go?! It doesn’t matter. I’m cool like this. I’ll be like a seal who does yoga. Yoga Seal!” – Morgan

“Yoga Seal! …just don’t squeak.” – Chuck

“When we get back, we need to have a conversation about the benefits of tranq guns.” – Chuck to his Mom

“But you’re not due yet! What’s Baby Clara thinking?” – Awesome

“Ewww. Pregnant women.” – Jeff and Lester

“Can you point us in the direction of the Woodcomb womb. Without us, that kid’s gonna grow up listening to Snow Patrol and Coldplay.” – Lester

For more on Chuck, read Chuck and the Cheap-Ass Weave by Mallory Elis and Chuck Versus the Push Mix by Desiree Neall.

Season 4, Episode 13: Chuck Versus The Push Mix (original air date January 31, 2011)

Mondays at 8/7C on NBC

Images courtesy of Mitchell Haaseth and Joel Warren/NBC.