Glee Review: The Lonely Hearts Club

Glee seemed to get its mojo back this week. There was high school espionage, romantic intrigue and budding relationships. It felt like a season one episode, not too aware of its growing popularity or too worried about figuring out how to mesh a storyline to an already chosen song. The episode certainly was themed, but everything felt organic. I’ve missed that when it comes to Glee. So welcome back! Now, let’s see if you can keep it up.

With Valentine’s Day around the corner, McKinley is aflutter with heart-shaped boxes of chocolate, stuffed teddy bears and silly love songs. The episode isn’t the funniest but it’s extremely well-balanced, with great performances, a storyline that has some forward momentum and a generous amount of all our teenage characters. The focus is purely on the kids this week, and the writers do their best work when they have a good reason to bring the adults and kids together, like a big school event, or when they choose one group over the other. Otherwise, the two worlds ne’er should meet, like in real life.

And with this specific focus, I was reminded of how much I missed some of our periphery characters like Puck and Mercedes. Though, I was not prepared for the wonder that is Lauren Zizes. You see, some may call it the worst consumer holiday ever, but in Lima, kids take their lovers’ holiday seriously, and everyone has someone running through their mind. Finn’s winner’s glow goes straight to his head, and last week’s kiss with Quinn imbues him with a newfound determination. He offers up a kissing booth where all the proceeds will go to a charity case, like his friends in the glee club. The high school ladies are truly swooning over the boy, so it’s not all in his head, but it was definitely a different, less adorable and more douchey Finn. The reality is that he thinks the booth is the only way he can get Quinn to kiss him again, but he’s convinced that once she does, it’ll be a cakewalk to steal her from there. Quinn is having her own troubles. She can’t get Finn off her mind either, but she’s committed to Sam, at least until she knows for sure that he’s the one. All of it is pretty immature and a little out of left field, but this is supposed to be high school, and I pretty much had no idea what I was doing when I was 16 years old either.

All the while, Puck is completely obsessed with Lauren, one of the only girls to reject him three minutes into seven minutes in heaven. “You’re really not good at this and kinda scrawny,” she says. She pretty much won’t give him the time of day, but Puck’s relentless. (Flashback to season one’s “Mash-Up” and Puck crooning “Sweet Caroline.”) Since Schu’s come up with the completely original idea of singing love songs for Valentine’s Day, Puck decides to celebrate Lauren’s full figure with a energetic rendition of “Fat Bottomed Girls,” but all it does is hurt her feelings. Boys can be so clueless.

Santana comes back in the best of bitchy fashion when the sting of Puck’s rejection is quickly followed by the realization that something’s going on with Quinn and Finn behind Sam’s back. (Naya Rivera’s legitimately put the smack down on hilarity.) First, she has a good, dramatic cry in the hallway, to which Brittany offers, “You can try rocking back and forth. People do that in movies.” Those are called comforting words. Wow, I really miss those two together. Then, Santana formulates a plan, catch some mono by kissing the sick kid in the nurse’s office, pass it on to Finn at the kissing booth and, in less than a day, he’ll have tongue-swapped it over to Quinn.

This goes down without a hitch, mostly due to those overpowering hormones. Sam, so worried that Quinn is avoiding Finn and the kissing booth because of lingering feelings, pushes the two to kiss in front of him so he can make sure there are no sparks. He doesn’t see it, but the ex-lovers see literal fireworks. Quinn whispers to Finn to meet her for a secret rendezvous in the auditorium where sexual tension (and lots of saliva) oozes between the two. Quinn rightly points out that she and Finn are doing to Sam exactly what was done to him. Cheating is the reason Finn broken up with her and Rachel in the first place. All I wanted was to scream, “Finn, why?!?!” But he seems like he could care less about being a hypocrite or hurting Sam’s feelings. Plus, the two have definite chemistry, and if Rachel is the writers’ endgame, he’ll have to date other people every now and then, and the options are getting slim. Wading through a run-in with mono helps Quinn figure out a few things. She cools the affair down, saying nothing can happen between them until she figures out what she feels for Sam, and Finn should figure out what’s going on with Rachel, even though he denies anything.

As if her ears are burning, Rachel shows up to care for Finn in the nurse’s office. Let’s rewind first. Earlier, Rachel walks up to the kissing booth, prepared to offer Finn $100 and force him to kiss her ONE HUNDRED times, but with some friendly advice, she gets the strength to only ask for one kiss and put the relationship behind her. Then, she gets the dreaded cheek kiss of death. It’s as painful as if she’d kicked him in the nards. He goes and pulls out a Christmas present that he’d ordered for her before they broke up, a shining star necklace. He tells her that even though they aren’t together, he still believes in her and agrees that they should go their separate ways, at least for now. Finny Bear (Becky’s adorable nickname for him) makes my heart melt once again, and I have a feeling this bi-polar behavior is something I’ll have to get used to. Again, these are teenagers we’re talking about. So when Rachel shows up with a wet cloth for his head, he admits he saw fireworks when he kissed Quinn. Without many coherent words, he admits he still has feelings for Rachel but is confused. He also hints to us that maybe all this bi-polar behavior is Finn dealing with his hurt feelings for Rachel. Yet, she’s determined to remain steadfast in her commitment to singlehood, and Finn’s honesty inspires her glee club song “Firework.”

We got a lot more of Dalton, this week too. Hallelujah! I finally saw a more three-dimensional view of the Warblers as well. I don’t miss Vocal Adrenaline performances very much (Jesse St. James is another story), but I have a feeling the Warblers will be sorely missed when they’re gone from the show and Kurt, rightly, returns to McKinley. Please! Boy does not belong swaying in the background. Now, Blaine is a hopeless romantic and has chosen this V-Day to profess his love for his secret crush. He asks Kurt for advice because he wants to sing a song. Blaine happens to be much better with lyrics than regular words. This should have been a sign because it’s hard to surprise your secret love when you’re asking him for advice on what to do, but Kurt’s young and naïve and has gotten really good at making up a relationship in his mind.

The Warblers are hysterically stiff. New Directions has mattress commercials, and the Warblers haven’t performed in an informal setting in over 80 years. I love the juxtaposition between the two types of clubs, and I loved how the writers decided to have Kurt step up to infuse a little “on-the-spot” New Directions flavor into the group. They’d refrained from relaxed, off campus performances since “the Spirit of St. Louis overshot the tarmac and plowed through seven Warblers during an impromptu rendition of ‘Welcome to Ohio, Lucky Lindy’,” but Blaine’s plan and Kurt’s suggestion lead us to two fantastic, very public performances.

The first stop is the “Gap Attack,” where Blaine serenades his crush and looks and sounds very sexy while doing so. Kurt may have been delusional but so was Blaine. The wonder boy is knocked down a peg and proven imperfect. (This was needed or the idea of Blaine would have made me throw up eventually.) He ends up getting his crush fired and outs him to his co-workers. The guy takes it pretty well, but it has to suck getting get your life messed up by an underage, prep school kid who you can’t even legally date. Yet, if it wasn’t for this misfortune, Kurt would have never gotten up the courage to confess his feelings to Blaine. Blaine admits that he doesn’t know what he’s doing and has never had a boyfriend. He’s scared to ruin the great relationship they have. So Kurt says they’re like When Harry Met Sally but he has to be Meg Ryan, and Blaine points out that the two end up together in the end. The jury’s still out on this pair though.

Later, Kurt convenes a meeting of “The Lonely Hearts Club” and invites his friends to Breadstix. All of Kurt’s McKinley friends sit in the restaurant while the Warblers sing and dance to “Silly Love Songs” and make all those lonesome hearts feel a little lighter. It was the perfect culmination, bringing both groups together. In the end, Lauren tells Puck they’d need to take it slow if he wanted to be with her, and he’s going to give it an honest effort to be her friend first. Finn, Quinn, Sam and Rachel are in a quadrangle, and with that look between a forlorn Sam and Santana in the end, it could turn into a pentagon. I obviously loved this week’s episode, but it’s now your turn to sound off. What’d you think?

THE SONGS

“Fat Bottomed Girls” by Queen
Sung by Puck and the New Directions fellas
Grade: B+

“P.Y.T. (Pretty Young Thing)” by Michael Jackson
Sung by Artie with Mike Chang on dance accompaniment
Grade: B+

“When I Get You Alone” by Robin Thicke
Sung by Blaine and the Warblers
Grade: A

“Firework” by Katy Perry
Sung by Rachel
Grade: A–

“Silly Love Songs” by Wings
Sung by Blaine and the Warblers
Grade: A

MEMORABLE MOMENTS

• The Mercedes-Kurt-Rachel “diva” slumber party, and the return of the wise, supportive Mercedes. She suggests they fly solo and focus on their talent as all good divas do.
• “I’ve kissed Finn and can I just say, not worth a buck. However, I would pay $100 to jiggle one of  his man boobs.” – Santana
• “All you ever do is insult us. Three weeks ago you said you were disappointed that I didn’t have a lizard baby.” – Quinn
• “Five minutes ago you said Mr. Schu belonged in a 12-step program.” – Tina
• “You’re addicted to vests.” – Santana
• “Maybe you’re right, maybe I am destined to play the title roll in the Broadway musical Willow but the only job you’re gonna have is working on a pole.” – Rachel
• “You seriously think it’s that easy. I’m not desperate, so if you really want this, you best come correct because I spell woman Z-I-Z-E-S, and I need to be wooed. You understand me? Woooed.” – Lauren
• “I’m pretty, but I ain’t dumb.” – Sam
• Tina and Mike and Artie and Brittany were storyline-less, but they were all highlighted when Artie and Mike performed “P.Y.T. (Pretty Young Thing).” Artie’s voice is butter, and Mike’s moves are smooth so I’d say the two couldn’t gel better.
• “That’s my man! And his legs don’t worrrrk!” says Brittany after the performance. Their ladies loved it so much that when it was Tina’s turn to sing “My Funny Valentine” she was overcome with sobs. “I’m so in love, I may just start crying,” she says, so Mike was well warned. We also got to hear her beautiful, real voice, pre-sobs.
• The fight between Santana and Lauren, or shall I say the official wresting match. It reminded me so much of the utter ridiculousness of Popular and what went down in that show’s hallways. Give me a little more of that old school Ryan Murphy.
• “Can I be honest? Just with the hair, I think they do.” – Kurt, when the crush admitted no one at work knew he was gay.
• “How is this possible? I’m the hottest piece of action at this school, and here I am, at Valentine’s, single. Whatver. I’ll just marry an NFL player. They’re super reliable.” – Santan
• “Quinn’s wearing her queen bitch smirk, and Finn only wears that gassy infant look when he’s feeling guilty about something…I know what cheating looks like. I do it all the time.” – Santana
• “Please I’ve had mono so many times. It turned into stereo.” – Santana, the explanation of how Santana can transmit but show no symptoms.
• “I don’t understand. You say you want to formally ask me out, but I see no envelope of cash, no muffin basket…I don’t think you’re ready for this jelly.” – Lauren
• Blaine singing “love doesn’t come in a minute” and then “sometimes it doesn’t come at all” straight to Santana in Breadstix.

For another take on this week’s episode, check out When 3 Minutes Just Ain’t Enough by Alana D.

Season 2, Episode 12: Silly Love Songs (originally aired February 8, 2011)

For more  Glee, click here.

Tuesdays at 8pm on Fox

Photographs courtesy of FOX and IMDb Pro.