The Real Housewives of Atlanta Review: Reunion, Part 2

I won’t deny that I’m happy to see season three of The Real Housewives of Atlanta come to a close this week. Overall this season, the biggest controversies, meltdowns or arguments centered around Sweetie the Slave, Phaedra’s due date and Cynthia’s nuptials. Essentially, the funny and/or drama-filled material had to be spread very thin, once again. Whereas towards the end of most seasons, I’m eager to get to part two of the housewife showdown, this year’s reunion has been timid, subdued and all-around boring.

Mr. Andy Cohen opens up the final show with a little sex talk. Kandi Koated Nights played a central role to the show early on this season, but I think I’ve had enough naughty housewives to creep me out until next season starts again. Andy rehashes the ladies’ freak numbers, and I almost puke when they start talking about sugar and vajayjays or dildos and mothers again. “It’s delicious,” Phaedra says, summing up the definition of TMI. Kandi is also no longer celibate, a piece of information that I really could care less about. This five minutes conversation feels like an eternity, and thankfully it’s finally over.

It’s on to Sheree, who barely grabbed any screen time last week. The “ew” look on fer face, as she watches her brief affair with Dr. Tiy-E Muhammad aka ”The Love Doctor,” says it all. She never saw him after their cafe word slam so the mystery of ”to be or not to be a doctor” will never be solved. She also hasn’t made any movies yet or won any Oscars, but Sheree did a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it cameo on The Game, which recently aired. She also confirms that her car was repossessed to pay some legal fees, but she’s not broke. “I’ll continue to make big purchases if I want to,” Sheree affirms.

The topic turns to parenting as clips of mother-daughter, mother-son conversations are shown. Most are sweet and slightly silly, as they should be, but NeNe’s conversation with Bryce is heart-breaking. We learn that Bryce has most likely fathered a child, but NeNe won’t confirm. Riley’s relationship with her father hasn’t progressed, and Kandi breaks down talking about how her daughter has shut off her feelings for her father so she won’t be disappointed. Most of the Atlanta housewives know what it’s like to be the single caretaker. Hell, Sheree found out by text message that her ex had  moved out of the state, away from his two biological children. This segment was the only one, during the episode, that I was really taken aback. The ladies opened their hearts and showed us something honest about their lives and their feelings. For once, everyone was caring and supportive of one another. It’s nice to kind of see…sometimes.

But that can only last for so long. It’s time to grill Phaedra on her baby’s gestation as NeNe smirks and rolls her eyes in glee. This issue totally consumed waaaay to much time this season, and it hurts to spare any more time recapping it. It was hysterical, in the beginning, imaging Phaedra really believing anyone would buy her cockamamie story, but it’s not so funny watching her try to, still, talk her way out of it now. Like Cynthia says, “I didn’t think asking a pregnant lady, ‘Oh my god, how many months are you?’ was an invasive question. I mean, it’s a pretty standard questions to ask.” I would never go so far as to question a father’s paternity, to their faces at least, but when you lie about one thing, people will inevitably wonder about other things. She semi-confesses to “maybe” being pregnant when she got married, but that one concession would not get her off the hot seat that easily. With a husband, who’s also a convict, the housewives had a lot to say about Phaedra and her new family throughout the season. Most, smartly, keep their mouths shut outside of the confessional. However Phaedra does clears up that Apollo is not gay and was arrested for racketeering. Really, I was just waiting for that one to be addressed. Is this all these guys can come up with?! Those insinuations didn’t even appear to be a real issue during the season, and anyone could do a google search and find out the truth about Apollo’s criminal history.

More Kandi-coated tears fall when Andy brings up “Tardy for the Party.” Poor Kandi. She practically made Kim, and all she has is about $3,000 to show for it. Kim, though, is sitting on top of an $80,000 cash pile. She tries to blame it all on her lawyer, but Kandi and her tears are having none of it. She should have put their friendship before the lawyer’s opinion. Andy–bless is heart–pounces on Kim asking, “what do you think?” But we all know Kim has selective hearing. Any question she doesn’t want to answer will always be immediately followed by “what” or “huh” as she attempt to deflect attention away from her, even if it’s only for a moment. Kim also never admits how much money the track has made so far. Apparently, she’s been too busy to look at the account, but she offers it up to Kandi since “money don’t.” Somewhere in Atlanta, her lawyer is screaming bloody murder. Kim’s had enough of looking like the villain of this half of the reunion, but there’s one more jab to get in.

Andy turns the ladies towards the dissolution of NeNe and Kim’s friendship. A strong case of déjà vu overcomes me, but really, I don’t believe I can add anything worthwhile to this tired event, but it goes a little something like this:

Andy: What got you so hopped up on the bus?

NeNe: Well, I don’t like verbal abuse? (hah!)

Kim: You got loud first…and you’re not telling the truth.

NeNe: I’m answering Andy…when you start hitting below the belt, I believe it’s very uncool to do that.

Kim: Tell the truth; tell the whole story.

NeNe: I tell it like it is.

Kim: I was actually caught off guard.

NeNe: You were not caught off guard. You like to play the victim.

Kim: You got off your chair; I didn’t get off mine.

NeNe: I got off my chair, and I will get up off of my chair again.

Kim: Maybe you should practice what you preach. You cannot put your hands on somebody.

NeNe: I didn’t touch you! When I touch you, you’re gonna know about it, victim!

Let’s hope these two stick by their guns and never become friends again, so we wont’ have to watch their relationship fall apart for the third time.  So what’s up next for the housewives? Sheree’s revamping She by Sheree. Phaedra is in the process of purchasing a funeral home because ”those clients don’t complain.” Kandi has recently released an album, well-received by critics, and she may get her own sex toy line. NeNe can be seen on the upcoming season of Celebrity Apprentice. Cynthia’s thinking of opening a modeling school, and Kim has the baby and her wigs.

And so another season of catty housewives, fabulously ridiculous parties and tons of needless shopping comes to a close. Like the Real Housewives of Orange County, it may be time for the Real Housewives of Atlanta to take a little break, at least until they can come back and put on something exciting or funny or watercooler-worthy. There are enough Real Housewives of … series to keep a warm place until you return.

Season 3, Episode 18: Reunion: Part 2 (originally aired February 20, 2011)

Need another opinion? Check out “Sharks and Cats Part 2” by Savannah DuBois

For more on The Real Housewives of Atlanta, click here.

Sundays at 9 p.m. on Bravo.

Photographs courtesy of Wilford and NBC.

Jersey Shore Review: The Great Depression

Last week’s episode of MTV’s Jersey Shore was not for the faint of heart.  The kings and queens of crass were in rare form.  Housekeeping and polite conversation have never been their strong suit, but this was too much. 

Deena was in a grumpy mood because she was constipated.  Why do we need to know this?  Unfortunate plumbing issues back at the house precluded her from handling her business.  Rather than immediately call a plumber to handle the clog, Vinny tries to dislodge the offending turd with a wire hanger.  (Thanks MTV for the bird’s eye view of brown toilet water, by the way.)  As disgusting as that sounds, it was slightly preferable to watching Ronnie bawl his eyes out for the entire episode.  I have no problem with men shedding a few tears from time to time.  But he’s turned into a weeping willow through his own fault.  His callous, abusive treatment of Sam was his fault and no one else’s.  He mopes around the place, crying intermittently.  Like a true abuser, he sends Sam tokens of his affection to make amends, despite calling her every name in the book before she left.  While he vows to win her back, the girls collect Sam’s belongings in case she returns for them.  Ron cries at work in the bathroom, and when they all go out at night he looks like a lost soul.

MVP is up to their usual tricks, and the Situation once again fails to respect the “guy code.”  While out at Karma, Pauly bumps into an ex-girlfriend.  Mike then tries to pick the girl up, and she promptly tells Pauly.  While all of this is going on, Snooki is trying to get lucky too.  She spots a “little Mario brother” named Gianni, and it’s on.  She can barely remember his name, but he’ll do for the night, as it’s been a long time for the Snookster.  When they all get back to the house, Vinny realizes that Gianni was one of the guys who came with his uncle to retrieve the girl Vinny was talking to a couple weeks back.  He wants to return the cock-blocking favor, so he and the fellas burst in on Snooki and Gianni right as they are about to seal the deal.  Earlier in the episode Vinny and Snooki began a prank war that started with her smashing cake on his head.  Never a dull moment.

As mentioned before, Ron moped around the house most of the time.  The others try to cheer him up, but they are a little annoyed by his contradictory behavior.  For now Ron will just have to move on without Sammi, who is back home with her mother.  Instead of acknowledging to Snooki that he and Sam were at each other’s throats most of the time, Ron maintains that he will win her back. I sure hope not.  Despite feeling badly, Ron tries to cheer Deena up when her feelings get hurt because,  as the newest housemate, she is subject to quite a bit of teasing.  At first she let it roll off her back, but after a long night of drinking one tends to be more sensitive.  Ron explains that she’s like their little sister, and none of the teasing is mean-spirited.  He consoles Deena in his own time of sadness, and it was a nice moment.

Best of the episode: Vinny and Snooki’s prank war.

Worst of the episode: The clogged toilet and incessant talk of poo.

What to look for: Sam’s return?

Season 2, Episode 21: The Great Depression (originally aired February 17, 2011)

Jersey Shore airs Thursday nights at 9pm on MTV.

Images courtesy of MTV.

Supernatural Review: The Winchesters in Mannequin 3 and Christine

When we last left the Winchesters, Sam (Jared Padalecki) collapsed and began convulsing as his wall temporarily came down with memories of hell flooding into his mind. Dean (Jensen Ackles) in a panic tries to revive his brother who has gone still as a dead body. Luckily, after a few minutes, the fire finally disappears from Sam’s eyes and he’s able to wake up again.

Dean gives his brother the “I told you so” speech but Sam responds that he just can’t sit there and ignore it. Dean though insists that they tried it his way and that everything bad that he said was going to happen did. Reluctantly Sam gives in to his brother’s way. To distract themselves for a while, the Winchesters decide to pick up a case in New Jersey involving a janitor who was murdered inside a junior college Chemistry lab. The unusual thing was that the door was locked from the inside and there was no one in or out of the building.

Another man’s life is claimed inside a mannequin factory three towns over from the first murder and the circumstances are eerily similar. The place was locked down and no one else was seen inside or outside. The case turns out to be a good old-fashioned ghost looking for revenge. After Sam interviews a very suspicious looking man inside the factory, he is able to stop the ghost from claiming his life as well. He learns that the two previous men killed as well as some others played a cruel trick on a young woman who they accidentally killed. She was a quiet unassuming person and the group of men pretended that she had a secret admirer. They lured her to an apartment and when she got there, waiting for her was a mannequin. The men came out laughing and when she tried to leave, one of them grabbed her and she fell and hit her head on the side of a table. Panicking, they buried her body and never turned themselves into the police.

Seeking revenge, her ghost possessed mannequins to exact her deadly vengeance. Sam finds her body thanks to the greasy looking guy with the bad facial hair, but burning the remains didn’t stop the ghost from killing the man. Though in an unexpected turn of events, the greasy guy went a little crazy as well, where we find out that he’s been pretending that a mannequin dressed up as a woman was his girlfriend. Of course as he talks to it on his bed, saying that it needed to hurry up and pack the essentials, it’s head actually moves to look at him. Then naturally he gets killed.

Here’s the twist – the ghost didn’t disappear when Sam burned her remains because not all of her was destroyed. She is tied to the world through the kidney she gave to her sister when they were teenagers. Facing a dilemma, the brothers are uncertain what to do next. They obviously can’t kill an innocent woman who needs her kidney, but they can’t let the ghost keep murdering people either.

In an unexpected turn of events, the ghost decides to possess Dean’s car ala Christine and then tries to run him over. Dean jumps out of the way at the last second and the car crashes into a storefront.  A large piece of glass though gets the ghost’s sister right where her kidney ought to be (though I have no idea how the glass managed to hit the woman) and she dies. The ghost apologizes to her sister before disappearing as well.

In this episode’s side story, Ben (Nicholas Elia) calls Dean up using Lisa’s cell phone, telling him that something is wrong with his mom and begging him to come help. Sam convinces Dean that he needs to go but when he gets there it turns out that Lisa’s fine and Ben lied because his mother is about to go on a third date with a doctor. Lisa (Cindy Sampson) and Dean talk and she explains that she knows what she wants, but she can’t have what she wants. She wants Dean to give up his hunting ways because it terrifies her that more likely than not, she’ll get a call from Sam telling her that Dean’s dead. But Lisa doesn’t expect that from him because she knows being a hunter is what he is. She asks him what he wants from her and Ben, but he can’t answer that.

Dean goes through a montage scene of all the times that he’s appeared at Lisa’s doorstep over the years and he gets how much he’s put her through where just when she was starting to get over him, he’d come back into her life. But things get more complicate as he tries to explain to Ben that just because you love someone it doesn’t mean that you should mess up their life. Ben angrily responds back that for all Dean’s talk of family, that he was abandoning their family. That Lisa and him are his family.

Dean ends up driving away from them with a lot on his mind. After reuniting with Sam and heading back to Bobby’s, the brothers are reminded of their complicated circumstances. The past will eventually catch up with you even if you bury it deep and only let it come out in bouts of violence and alcoholism. Sam tells Dean that they’ll lose some but hopefully win more but the important thing is that they keep going. No matter what happens, they’ve got each other’s back.

It’s really touching to see the devotion Sam and Dean have towards each other as the constant in their lives. Even as Dean started a new life with Lisa and Ben during Sam’s absence, he wants better for them than he can give. With Sam they’ve been in it together since the beginning and now they just have to work with the cards they’ve been dealt with. I think Dean’s feelings towards the mother and son are genuinely there but it’s different from the bond he shares with his brother. Placed in a situation where he would have to choose, I think he’d pick Sam.

Season six has focused on the brothers’ relationship, testing the strength of their ties to each other with Sam’s personality change and the lengths by which Dean would go to get his real brother back. Now we’re at a point where they have reestablished trust and they can get back to dealing with all the other things stacked up against them. I’m looking forward to see how they will deal with saving the world (again) and not alienating the people they care about in the process. Is that even possible? Unfortunately their track record isn’t looking so good.

Season 6, Episode 14: Mannequin 3: Reckoning (originally aired February 18, 2011)

For more Supernatural, click here.

Fridays at 9/8C on The CW

Images courtesy of The CW and Jordan Nuttal

The Vampire Diaries Review: Death For Dinner

Based on the previews we saw at the end of last week’s Vampire Diaries, I thought this was going to be a classic filler episode that would give us a glimpse back at the early life of Damon and Stefan but not move the plot forward at all. I was wrong. In a BIG way.

Picking up almost right where last week left off Stefan and Elena are still at the lake house being pissy with each other over the revelation that she plans to act as a martyr to save her friends. So while Stefan skips rocks outside, Elena digs into the Jonathan Gilbert journals and comes across some rather revealing information about Stefan’s first days as a vampire. He was basically a horny tornado of death killing everyone he could get his teeth on including the founding families of Mystic Falls.

Rather than let Elena get the whole bloody truth from the journal, he decides to tell her the details himself, which includes feasting on dead Civil War troops until finally being tamed by a friendly vampire named Lexi who we met last season before Damon killed her. It is clear that Lexi made a huge impact on Stefan’s life and her death is still a huge mark of sadness for him. Cue the violin music.

Back in town, Damon’s wonderfully (and hilariously) clueless girlfriend, Andie Star (Dawn Olivieri,) suggests a dinner party is in order to honor Elijah who is hunting around town with Jenna to find some witch burial ground. The party is at Damon’s house and is attended by Andie, Elijah, Jenna, Alaric and Evil Uncle/Father John who shows up uninvited suspecting that Damon has ulterior motives for having Elijah over for dinner. And indeed Damon does! With the special knife supplied to him by John a few weeks ago, Damon plans on using it to kill Elijah during dinner.

And this is where Elena’s reading of the Gilbert journals becomes important. Whilst reading about Stefan being awful, she also stumbles upon a section about killing Originals. Turns out the only way to do it is with the knife that John gave to Damon! It describes the knife exactly but adds one detail that John failed to mention – that if a vampire uses it to kill another vampire they will both die. Knowing about Damon’s plan they warn Alaric who causes a diversion long enough to warn Damon about the danger he would be in. We assume that the plan is called off but just as we start to relax again, Alaric pops up and stabs Elijah himself! It was a fantastic holy shit moment that made me want to cheer.

Alaric and Damon dump Elijah’s body in the cellar where they hope Jenna won’t see it and walk away feeling pleased with the day’s work. It is only then that Elena and Stefan chime in with another bit of unknown information. It seems that the Original (in this case, Elijah) will only stay dead as long as the knife is not pulled out of his body. Sure enough, Alaric did not keep the knife in Elijah so when they get this information it is too late and Elijah is already gone to seek revenge.

Elijah’s first stop is with his personal witch, Jonas, who is able to tell him that Elena is at the lake house. Elijah is not allowed to enter the house but he plans to wait Elena out and whisk her away if she even dares take a step outside. Knowing that their previous agreement is moot after the attempted killing, Elena tries to renegotiate by threatening to kill herself and have Stefan turn her into a vampire, which would mean she could no longer be sacrificed. Elijah calls her bluff so in an act of bravery she stabs herself and steps outside but as he rushes forward he finds himself stuck with the special knife once again thanks to Damon. And this time they definitely don’t take it out.

What the three heroes do next though frustrates me and makes me think that maybe they deserve to die. Instead of burying Elijah somewhere where he’ll never be found again, they decide to put his body in the cellar where someone will likely find it a few episodes from now, take the knife out, and bring Elijah back from the dead. Sigh.

In other developments Jenna finally asks Alaric about what really happened to his first wife, Isobel. She doesn’t like his answer, which seems to more or less kill their relationship. In his remorse, Alaric gives the magic protector ring back to John suggesting that he’ll need it more now that Damon knows the crucial info he left out regarding the knife. Damn right.

Jonas, who is pretty angry that Bonnie used magic to get information out of his son last week, storms into a romantic evening between Jeremy and Bonnie and takes away her witch powers. Ouch! Her Grams would be so disappointed.

And finally, Damon goes home to find good old Katherine naked in his shower. Turns out the only thing keeping her in her prison was a compelling from Elijah so now that he’s dead, she’s free. But instead of flying the coop she wants to stick around and help the gang kill the master baddie, Klaus. In other words, the next episode could be AWESOME! Game on!

The Vampire Diaries: Season 2, Episode 15: “The Dinner Party” (originally aired February 17, 2011.)

The Vampire Diaries airs Thursdays at 8/7c on The CW.

Images courtesy of The CW and Quantrell Colbert.

Grey’s Anatomy Review: The Golden Hour

The great thing about television is that characters can be made superhuman. In one stroke of the pen, writers create instant villains or heroes.  In last week’s episode of Grey’s Anatomy, Meredith Grey impressed me with her ability to put out one fire after another after being tasked with running the ER for the night.  We’re accustomed to seeing Bailey take charge over the hospital, and there was a time when Cristina was a force to be reckoned with.  But Meredith has always had a tendency to be a little emotional and needy.  She’s brilliant like the rest, but seems perpetually in a crisis.  Not so in  last week’s episode, aptly titled Golden Hour, which refers to that “magical window” that determines whether a patient lives or dies.  The entire episode follows just one hour at Seattle Grace. 

It’s 6:00 pm and Meredith is swamped.  Alex is off work, but needed to come in and sign some charts and complete his paperwork.  Teddy is trying to wrap things up because she has a date.  For everyone else, it’s business as usual.  The backdrop of the episode is the PAC 10 conference championship game (college basketball), and everyone is trying to watch. 

Meredith begins with three patients who have reached that critical hour.  Her first patient is a relatively young man named Oliver who presented with chest pains.  Oliver hopes to be released quickly so he can take his son to the game for his birthday, but Meredith and Teddy do a quick consult and agree that they should run more tests.  Meredith’s second patient is a four year old with a broken femur who is in a lot of pain.  There are no available operating rooms, and he is long overdue for surgery. 

Perhaps Meredith’s most important patient during the golden hour is Chief Webber’s wife Adele, who has fallen and injured her wrist.  Meredith pages Callie, but doesn’t mention that the patient is the chief’s wife.  When Callie shows up she is ticked off, and she’s not the only one.  The Chief is angry that he wasn’t immediately informed that his wife was at the hospital.  To her credit, Meredith takes it in stride.  Adele explains that she fell off a step ladder while looking for Christmas decorations.  She also forgets details about the conversation she had with Meredith only a few moments ago.  Although her wrist has been taken care of, Meredith orders a CT scan because she has some neurological concerns.  When the Chief finds out, he is very angry and seems to be in denial about the possibility of his wife having Alzheimer’s.  He tells Meredith that her personal experiences with the disease and her work on Derek’s trial are clouding her judgment.  I agree that Meredith is probably more attuned to the disease than the average doctor would be, but that doesn’t mean that she’s wrong.  There’s no way someone should be looking for Christmas decorations after Christmas.

While Meredith deals with one of the more stressful days on the job, Bailey and her new boy-toy nurse Eli are feeling amorous.  Bailey isn’t one of the more adventurous docs at Seattle Grace.  While nearly everyone has engaged in some hanky panky at work at some point, Bailey has not.  Eli brings her out of her shell, and she nervously agrees to sneak off to one of the rooms with him.  When Derek and Meredith are on the lookout for a place to be alone, he ends up walking in on Eli and Bailey with Meredith in tow. He quickly backs away with Meredith, who hadn’t seen them in the room.  Derek injects Meredith for fertility purposes, and was looking for somewhere discreet to do it.  At first it seemed that he was slyly trying to have a quickie at work, but when he spoke of “giving it to her,” he really meant an injection. 

Alex is slowly but steadily endearing himself to Lucy, who sees that he is kind and caring, despite her initial impression of him.  He goes the extra mile for his pediatric patients, and ends up feeling sympathetic for the four year old with the broken femur.  He gives up his prized basketball tickets to pitch in and help the young patient.  Avery, the recipient of those tickets, invites Lexie as his date.  I knew he was making a move on her!

Best of the episode:  Meredith making a great case for herself as the next chief resident.

Worst of the episode: Her patient died unexpectedly and never got to take his son to the game…on his birthday!

What to watch for: Alex and Lucy.

Season 7, Episode 15: The Golden Hour (originally aired February 17, 2011)

Grey’s Anatomy airs Thursdays at 9/8c on ABC.

Images courtesy of Danny Feld and ABC.

Q&A with Community’s Danny Pudi and Alison Brie: Intro to Popular Communication

As Community’s ensemble of characters goes, Abed and Annie couldn’t be on more opposite ends of the field. One is an epic wormhole of pop culture knowledge that rarely filters his inner-monologue, the other a tightly-wound, proper and by-the-book school girl. With that odd dynamic in play, I hoped that talking with their real-world counterparts Danny Pudi and Alison Brie would yield a unique perspective on one of the most dynamic single-camera comedies on television. Before the session even begins, the mood is buoyant and infectious as Pudi and Brie play off each other quick-like, reminiscent of a pair of old-timey vaudevillian comedians. They are here to talk about the February 24 episode “Political Developments and Uncivil Disobedience,” but I’m much more interested in getting into the minutiae of a show like Community. And, as always, I get my way.

In terms of individual scenes and character interactions, the show feels relatively loose and natural. How much of a given episode consists of improv?

Alison: You know, it is such a funny thing because something like kissing Gillian [Jacobs in last week’s episode, "Early 21st Century Romanticism"] wasn’t in the script. We just sort of improvised it when we were doing it. And then – and Joe Russo, one of our producers, was there. And he’s like, “Ah, that’s so great. I’ll just yell ‘kiss her’ and then you guys do that.” And everyone behind the monitor was like, “YES.”  It was clearly a bunch of dudes.

Does that vibe translate off-camera?

Alison: It does. We play very nondescript child-like games that we come up with on the spot. People ask, “What’s that game?” [because] they’ll see us having a lot of fun [and ask] “What’s that game? Tell me the rules. I want to play.” And when we explain it to them they’re just…(makes blank, stumped expression).

There’s a ton of meta-type pop culture references from film to television to music in every episode of the show. Do you feel that you have an awareness of pop culture?

Danny: Yes.

Alison: Shooting yesterday, Shirley says a line and sort of in secret I turn to Danny after we did a take of the scene. I was like, “Danny, what does that line mean?”

Danny: And I was like, “No idea, have never had an idea.”

Alison: So then we turned to Gillian: “Gillian what does the line mean?” Of course she knew immediately.

Danny: She did, yes.

Alison: So that was good. I think between all of us…There’s always someone who’s going to know. And then there’s this little thing called Google. So I think we have some help all around. We seldom – I don’t think any of us ever look to Dan and ask. We don’t want him to know that we don’t know.

Danny: But yes, it’s here the good thing is that we have such a great collective ensemble. Someone’s always around who probably has an idea of what’s going on. So it’s just a matter of turning your head enough times and eventually someone will tell you what you’re talking about.

In terms of larger seasonal story arcs, the show is similar to something like The Office, where most of the episodic goings-on don’t weave throughout the season, but inner-group relationships do, one of the most interesting being the one hinted at between Annie and Jeff…

Alison: You know, I still think that Annie kind of holds a little flame for Jeff and we saw in the episode when we first came back ["Asian Population Studies"] and Rich comes on to the scene you can see that Jeff gets a little bit jealous. I think that there is a bit of a push and pull between the two of them. I think that their bumping heads kind of fuels more of that. Any time they’re together there’s a bit of that because it can’t exist or because it’s controversial I think that makes it dangerous and interesting.

And Abed?

Danny: No I think Abed knows too the dangers of what happens when the group kind of gets all, you know, mixed up. He’s seen that. And he’s warned against – he’s warned Troy, for instance, about being roommates. So they don’t want to get too close because he knows what happens when, you know, best friends are roommates as well. So I think he’s trying to stay out of their way.

So, who breaks the most while shooting?

Alison: Ken Jeong is a contender.

Danny: Yes.

Alison: If only because…

Danny: He makes himself laugh more than – I mean consistently he’ll be doing something – even this morning – where he’ll all of a sudden be snapping and he’ll just keep making himself laugh. And then he’ll have to yell really inappropriate things at himself.

Alison: To get through his own bit. It’s funny.

Danny: It’s pretty damn humorous. You know, I laugh a lot at everybody. I probably crack a lot.

Alison: I dance a lot.

Danny: Alison dances a lot. Donald [Glover] has a lot of great, great…

Alison: Donald is hilarious. He makes us all crack up.

Danny: I think it’s kind of all around the table. I think everyone has definitely a good amount that’s going to be pretty hard to shuffle through for the DVD.

How do you feel looking back on the first season and what does the future hold for the show creatively?

Alison: I think, first of all, it’s natural for any show to grow. A pilot is just a jumping-off point. It’s just the thing that you’re trying to sell so that people want to watch and are interested in these characters or this story. And I think Dan Harmon really utilized it in that way. And at that point, you know, you get a cast of people. You’re hoping they are all going to gel well together. It’s such an interesting process just putting together a pilot that’s so bizarre. Once the show gets in motion it does sort of find a life of its own. And I think that so quickly we all clicked and gelled…

Danny: Right.

Alison: And then Dan Harmon sort of started to realize that we were also willing to do anything that he would put before us and that the show and the group as it grew stronger was kind of capable of doing anything. So a lot of this stuff is just Dan Harmon and our writers and our producers really just continuing to take great risks and push us and pull us in these different directions and us sort of going forward gung ho about them.

Danny: We also know that, you know, this is the second year that these characters all know each other. We came in to Greendale not knowing each other at all and so it was only kind of natural that the more you discover about each other’s characters and how you bounce off each other the more you learn about their back stories, where they come from, their lives, the more complicated everything becomes. There’s a lot more at stake in terms of our comedy and just things like that which I think is really great too and the show has done a great job of being consistent with keeping all this, the characters kind of rotating. So I feel like you really know where each character’s coming from at this point which I think makes a lot of the jokes pop more and you kind of also really know how every character’s going to react to a situation at this point.

Currently rounding out its second season, Community finished its first year with flying colors, defied the sophomore slump curse, and is loading up on advanced courses in Ridiculousness and Non-Sequitur Shenanigans. Luckily, Greendale’s resident study group knows how to rally and roll with whatever is thrown their way. Here’s to hoping they get held back a few extra years before graduation.

Don’t miss Community Thursdays at 8/7c on NBC.

For more of Poptimal’s television reviews and interviews, click here.

Images courtesy of NBC, Harper Smith, Trae Patton, Lewis Jacobs, and Mitchell Haaseth.

I Am Number Four Review: Fresh Intensity, Cool Fights

For those readers that don’t know, I write novels. Which means I, like most of the respectable publishing world, grew disillusioned with James Frey (the author of the novel version of I Am Number Four) in the recent past. It came to light that he paid MFA students a very paltry sum to write novels for him so he could churn them out faster, then made those writers sign contracts releasing all claim to their work. It’s not a nice thing to do, but I’ll go ahead and put my soapbox away and tell you what I think of this movie, even though giving James Frey $10 stuck in my craw.

I really, honestly, enjoyed it.

I haven’t read the book, both because of the aforementioned issues with its author and because people didn’t seem too excited about it, so I’m not qualified to comment on the translation to film. The movie, though, moved quickly through a well thought out exposition, made me care about the characters, and brought the explosions, intensity, and romance.

The concept of the story goes like this: An evil race of aliens destroys another planet and everyone on it, with the exception of nine children with the abilities to defeat them. Those children have taken refuge on Earth, along with protectors, but the evil aliens are locating (and killing) them in order. Children 1-3 are dead. We meet Number Four, who is now running for his life.

Fantastic idea, right? I wonder if it was actually Frey’s, or someone else’s. Damn. How did this soapbox find its way back under my feet?

The boy wants to be normal, and goes to school while trying to maintain a low profile. When you’re as good looking as Alex Pettyfer, high school isn’t the best place to hide. He pretty much immediately makes enemies of the football team when he catches the attention of the prettiest and most thoughtful girl in school, Sarah (Diana Agron).  He alienates himself further by befriending the local alien chaser, Sam (Callan McAuliffe).

It turns out Number Four’s guardian, Henri (Timothy Olyphant), is looking for Sam’s father, who was working on a way to find the other children like Four, but recently disappeared. Sam is desperate to prove his father didn’t spend his life chasing a lie.

Trouble bubbles to the surface when Four’s face keeps popping up on the Internet, and he uses his growing powers (crazy reflexes and glowing, powerful hands, to name a couple) to protect Sarah and Sam. The Mogadorians (crazy aliens), locate him in the small town of Paradise, OH, and stuff starts to get real.

I’m not sure how much else I can say about the plot without revealing some too-big spoilers, but I will tell you that the romance between Sarah and Number Four blossoms, Sam is determined to take his father’s place as Four’s helper, and we meet Number Six. Oh, and there’s an awesome beagle.

Number Six is so badass, I can’t even explain it properly in words. I want the next movie to be called I Am Number Six, because I want to know everything about her. The actress, Teresa Palmer, could be Nicole Kidman’s daughter. That has nothing to do with anything, just an observation.

The film is a relevant, interesting take on alien invasion stories, which we all know has been done to death. Pettyfer and the rest of the cast make their struggle to live, to find one another, and maybe help Earth survive the coming Mogadorian attack something we want to watch, and the fight scenes will have you on the edge of your seat. The Mogadorians are scary, evil villains that seem larger than life.

Are some parts predictable and clichéd? Sure.  Are some of the action scenes canned crap, i.e. a girl walking away in slow motion as the building blows up behind her? Definitely.

But it could be worse.

This is a film you can see with your kids, and I’d even recommend spending the money to see it in the theatre because the action filled scenes won’t be as impressive on the small screen in your living room.

I’ve got my film reviewer hat on, so I’m giving you my honest opinion of the film (which wasn’t written by James Frey, incidentally). The writer in me feels icky supporting James Frey in any medium.

The things I do for you people.

Let me know what YOU thought of the film in the comments!

Photos Courtesy of Film Frame

Smallville Review: Nerdy Glasses = Nerdy Goosebumps

This week’s episode of Smallville gleefully brought me (and countless other fans no doubt) something that I’ve been waiting to see for ten years now – Tom Welling’s Clark Kent putting on the classic Clark Kent disguise of nerdy glasses, hair, and attitude!

With the repeal last week of the Vigilante Registration Act, Clark has been going worldwide as The Blur but rather than blurring in and out of danger he is now opting for long, dramatic pauses that no doubt make their way onto television and newspaper front pages. It doesn’t take a genius to realize that such images could be a little obvious when placed near Clark’s reporter photo in The Daily Planet. Lois suggests adding a hood and sunglasses to The Blur getup but luckily Clark isn’t having it. Only when a douche-bag crime scene photographer starts following Clark around and telling him how much he looks like The Blur does he realize that maybe a better disguise is in order.

Meanwhile, Oliver and Chloe make a valiant attempt to have a romantic night out on the town together but it’s harder than it sounds. Ever since going public with his secret identity as the Green Arrow, Oliver has struggled with the fact that he now has to hide himself when out in public and Chloe is confused about how to define herself given recent life changes. In other words, Dr. Phil could have a field day with these two.

While out for a fancy dinner the two of them pull a Date Night and steal someone else’s reservation by posing as Mr. and Mrs. Jones. And like in the movie, this plan backfires almost immediately. While at the table, a hostess brings over a phone with a call from the real Mrs. Jones. Oliver takes the call only to hear a woman panicking and then subsequently being murdered. What follows is a great riff on my favorite film of all time – North By Northwest as they wind up in a car meant for Mr. Jones causing the evil gunmen inside to assume that Oliver and Chloe are in fact the Joneses.

Not to be intimidated by feckless thugs, Chloe and Oliver mop the floor with them in an awesomely staged fight scene that went on longer and with greater intensity than any other recent Smallville action scene. But just when you’re about ready to jump up and cheer their ass-kicking skills, we find out that the thugs were actually FBI agents on the trail of a serial killer working out of a strip club in Metropolis. The feisty couple goes to investigate said strip club only to have Chloe get abducted by Desaad (Steve Byers) who we first met in an episode back in November as one of the three villains helping to prepare for the arrival of Darkseid. Can anyone explain his accent to me though? Is it British? Stuff Villain? Or just plain awful?

Now this is where Clark comes back in. While doing his routine reporter duties Clark ends up at the crime scene of “Mrs. Jones’s” murder, which turns out to be a mass grave of sorts for people who have all died from massively violent brain hemorrhaging. Clark follows the body to the morgue where he encounters a coroner named Blaine who is actually Desaad. Clark notices a strange marking on one of the bodies but Desaad dodges the query by blaming a leaky pen.

Don’t doubt Clark now, though. He continues investigating and eventually links up with Oliver when they realize they’re working on the same case from different ends. Turns out Desaad is working to turn as many people as possible evil before Darkseid arrives; and if they resist, he kills them. Sounds fair to me! He does his best to turn Chloe with a bunch of hallucinations starring her friends but she resists like the super trooper she is and escapes death thanks to Clark who has by now honed in on Desaad’s location with the help of Oliver.

Desaad puts Clark in a weird cyclone prison thing and tries to get away but gets caught by Oliver instead who promptly beats the living bejesus out of him. Literally. Desaad is dead. I continue to believe that Oliver and Dirty Harry would make an awesome team but I guess that’ll only ever be in my mind.

After everything calms down Chloe and Oliver get to hash out their identity issues a little bit more and when all is said and done they end up finally becoming an “official” couple. I have to say that I absolutely adored the two of them together in this episode. Both the writing and their delivery of it was littered with wit and the chemistry between them seems to just keep getting better. I personally can’t wait to see more of it! But what to make of that darkness symbol that showed up on Oliver’s head at the very end?! This is getting juicy.

But now back to the geekgasm regarding the Clark Kent disguise. After an episode of doing super things Clark finally confides to Lois that The Blur shouldn’t be the one putting on a disguise – but rather Clark himself. “I am the Blur and I always have been,” he tells her as he cements the idea once and for all that he was born a hero and the best way to live that way is to make an alter ego of Clark Kent for the other aspects of his life. This means wearing thick, dorky glasses and becoming everyone’s bitch a little bit, but I have to say when he finally put on those glasses my heart skipped for a hot second. This moment has been teased a few times throughout the series but to finally see it was fantastic and I look forward to more moments like it in the remaining seven episodes!

Smallville: Season 10, Episode 14: “Masquerade” (originally aired February 18, 2011)

Smallville airs Fridays at 8/7c on The CW.

Images courtesy of Jack Rowand and The CW.

Top Chef Review: M Is For Muppets And That’s Good Enough For Me

Fabio is gone and I have to say I miss him and his endearing accent. I thought he was a good chef and he made watching Top Chef even more enjoyable. At the start of this week’s episode the remaining seven chefs reminisce about Fabio and… HOLY Crap! Is that Cookie Monster? No Way!  Fabio who?

For the Quickfire challenge, the chefs have to impress three Muppets from Sesame Street, Elmo, Telly and Cookie Monster, with their best cookies.  I like to think Muppets are like bacon, they make everything better. The Muppet judges offered hilarious commentary while the chefs tried to whip something up to feed the furry puppets. I also loved how the chefs and Padma talked to the Muppets as if they were real people. Blais ends up in the bottom because he made ice cream and tried to pass it off as a cookie, and he was totally disappointed he let Cookie Monster down. Cookie Monster also thought Angelo’s cookies were too dry.

The challenge’s top chefs were Dale, who threw junk food into a blender and formed it into circles and Antonia, who made rather ugly chocolate cookies that tasted really good (although Elmo commented they looked “like cow chips.”) Dale wins by default because his “cookie” didn’t look like poop.

Padma then tells the chefs what the Elimination Challenge is by giving what seems like a five minute speech about Target’s new updated food and produce department. Trapped in a Target, the cheftestants will have three hours in the wee hours of the morning to raid the store and get what they need to make a snack for a hundred Target employees coming in at 3 a.m. I do mean they have to get everything including food, ingredients, even cooking materials, burners and knives. But the winner gets $25,000 from Target, so the chefs are pretty stoked. Judges for the challenge are Padma, Tom, Bourdain, Chef Ming Tsai, and Target’s home designer Thomas O’Brien who I’m guessing knows just as much about food as a Muppet.

The dishes the chefs prepare are as follows:

Blais: pork tenderloin with green chilies, apples, braised pork ribs and corn pancakes. He says he knows blue collar food and he is not lying.

Dale: rib-eye grilled cheese sandwich and spicy tomato soup. Bourdain, who never seems to run out of one-liners, comments that Dale is good at stoner food and should maybe get a urine test. He’s almost as funny as a Elmo.

Carla: curry apple soup with tomato ginger jam and cucumber apple slaw. As you can guess she ran out of time.

Antonia: Parmesan eggs on garlic crostini with almond, tomato and apple salad.

Mike: spicy coconut soup with mushrooms, scallions and lime. Padma HATES it.

Tiffany: jambalaya with chicken, sausage and shrimp with a summer salad.

Angelo: baked potato soup with bacon, sour cream, potato skins, scallions and cheddar cheese.

The top three called in are Dale, Antonia, and Blais.  Dale wins again this time for making a grilled cheese sandwich with an iron, which, I do have to agree, is a pretty stoner thing to do. At the bottom are Angelo, Carla and Tiffany. During what I consider the most fake, posturing, and boring part of the show the judges rip into the bottom three. The chefs make up excuses, and then they send Angelo home. I am totally fine with that. Maybe they can replace him with Cookie Monster.

For another take on this week’s episode, see “Elmo Makes It Exciting” by Zarna Patel

Season 8, Episode 10 “Lock Down” (original air date February 16, 2011)

Top Chef: All-Stars airs Wednesday 10/9c on Bravo.

Photos courtesy of David Giesbrecht and Bravo.

American Idol Review: Nuts of Wonder

This week’s American Idol unleashed the most dreaded aspect of the Hollywood rounds for viewers and participants alike, as this year’s edition of the group tryouts proved even more manipulatively melodramatic than usual. While the purpose of forcing these physically and emotionally exhausted contestants into such dire straits is disguised as an attempt to evaluate their ability to harmonize with others and arrange a complete musical routine, the underlying sociological experiment of it all goes predictably awry, and the cameras are conveniently there to focus on the backstage drama rather than the music. After an already grueling two days of individual tryouts, the contestants are thrown into a race against time where they have to finagle a working relationship with virtual strangers in order to organize a two minute, dog-and-pony show for the judges, who are actually evaluating them on individual merit anyway. Oh, and they have to stay up all night, rehearse in whatever empty bathroom they can find and perform their routine the very next morning. Oh, AND each group must be a mix of contestants from both Day 1 and Day 2 of the first round of Hollywood tryouts, throwing a monkey wrench into the plans of Day 1 Idols who had already chosen their partners. Considering the first forty minutes or so of Wednesday’s episode focused entirely on everyone’s struggle to find a group and the ensuing backstabbing and meltdowns that resulted from the carefully calculated frenzy, this season’s group round felt even less like a singing competition, than usual, and more like a frightening hybrid of Jersey Shore, Glee and Lord of the Flies. Ah, yes. In case we’ve forgotten, Seacrest reminds us, yet again, “THIS! Is American Idol!”

After Seacrest, curiously using a microphone in an empty auditorium, briefs us on the logistics of Group Day rules, we’re all “thrust back into the fire” to first observe the Schadenfreude-fest that is Tiffany Rios being rejected by every contestant she approaches. Heh! Her onstage proclamation last week, that she’s “tired of watching everyone try to do what I know I can,” didn’t exactly win her any friends, and absolutely no one wants to work with her. Even Southern gentleman Scotty McCreery and his pleasant-but-gimmicky deep voice expresses dubious concern. He has Tiffany sing for him before he makes a hasty exit. No matter, says Tiffany, because she wants to “scope first” anyway before imposing her charms on another hapless contestant. She manages to snag the previously unseen Jessica Yantz from her already established group, and the two form the only allowed duet in the entire competition, calling themselves Rebel Star. Yikes. Jessica is overly polite and pretty, and this combination proves the perfect storm of passivity and attractiveness Tiffany was hoping to prey upon. “I love hot people!” she proclaims, as she drags a doomed but compliant Jessica off to rehearse their routine.

Even after wisely escaping Tiffany’s clutches, Scotty’s particular brand of vocal styling is making it hard for him to find a group, too. After being vehemently denied by this week’s uberdouche Jordan Dorsey, Scotty eventually finds a home with karaoke host Clint Jun Gamboa of the painfully overzealous hipster glasses, along with Frances Coontz of the Velma-from-Scooby-Doo glasses, the wholly unmemorable Monique De Los Santos and freckled, cherubic wunderkind Jacee Badeaux.

While Jordan ends up ditching his group in the eleventh hour in search of greener pastures, poor Jacee is ousted by the grossly sanctimonious Clint and wanders the halls aimlessly before being snatched up by the good graces of woodland creature Brett Lowenstern and his band of misfits. Brett is a contestant whom I adore more and more each week – his oddity is curiously charming and sprightly, as though he were a character from A Midsummer Night’s Dream. He and Jacee scamper off to chirp together in melodically-sound iambic pentameter.

Ashley Sullivan’s mental instability (that looks more and more like drug addiction to me) is clearly putting dollar signs in the producers’ eyes, as there is simply no other reason to keep this girl on the show other than the trainwreck of entertainment value she exudes. After one particularly gruesome panic attack convinces her to leave the competition, her boyfriend (how does he put up with this?) calms her down enough to allow her to re-enter her group’s rehearsal with a somewhat believable sense of composure. This girl’s behavior is so comically erratic and her appearance so cartoonishly frazzled, I predict she’ll be parodied on SNL in a matter of weeks.

Poor Rob Bolin seems to have given up all hope of Idol success, since being thrust into a group with his ex-girlfriend Chelsee and her new BFF — the walking, talking blow-up doll Jacqueline Dunford. Rob’s proven his vocal prowess in earlier auditions but admits his disdain for such pop-music requirements like choreography and dancing are causing his confidence to falter. The trio has given themselves the unbearably lame moniker Three’s Company, and judging by their underwhelming rehearsal footage, the name doesn’t bode well for their future together onstage.

The judges finally arrive and greet the contestants with rather hollow words of advice. After Tyler credits music as only one of the many things he’s addicted to, J. Lo reminds everyone that the group structure of today’s audition is really bullshit because they’re all being assessed independently of one another. Great. Randy simply warns, “DON’T EVER FORGET THE WORDS,” which isn’t particularly intimidating coming from someone with a 12-word vocabulary.

A trio of comely cuties hit the stage first to sing Bruno Mars’ “Grenade” and sound rather mediocre to me, but according to Tyler, Pia Toscano, BrielleVon Hugel and Alessandra Guerico “slammed it,” whatever that means. Randy thought they had “nice harmonies,” and J. Lo remarked, “That is how you do it!” All three girls are apparently sent through based on the merit of simply not stinking up the joint, and I begin to fear for the rest of the day’s auditions.

The group Jordan Dorsey ditched and the one he joined last minute enjoyed the prize of having all members sent through to the next round, and I’m getting the sinking feeling that the group performances will prove mightily unproductive in terms of weeding out the suckies.

Luckily, Tiffany Rios and her minion Jessica Yantz arrive just in time to humiliate themselves good and proper to help balance the morning’s festivities. Tiffany attempts to beg for another chance in a tone that would sound surprisingly articulate if it weren’t for the bucket of glitter she’d dumped on her head. Jessica wisely shuts her up, and Rebel Star slinks off the stage as the day’s first casualty.

Some idiot named Kevin Campos oversleeps and nearly misses his group’s audition – the cameras conveniently arrive at his hotel room and he answers the door in nothing but pajama bottoms with the “oh, hey, what’s up?” slur of someone expecting room service. The producers say something to the effect of, “PUT YOUR GODDAMN CLOTHES ON AND GET DOWNSTAIRS,” while Tyler entertains the crowd with a drum solo to kill time. Have a nice life, Kevin.

Teacher’s pet Lauren Alaina has convinced her group to ask Tyler onstage to serenade him with their admittedly cute rendition of “Some Kind ofWonderful.” It’s not nearly as unbearably precocious as I’d expected, and all the girls sound quite good in spite of Lauren’s clearly superior stage presence. Tyler can’t help but join in – um, vocally, that is – and the entire routine is pretty adorable. The judges are surprisingly harsh in their assessment, however, and only send Lauren through to the next round.

A few early favorites are surprisingly cut but only given the respect of a brief  “In Memoriam” type of post-mortem rundown, courtesy of Seacrest. Paris Tassin, mother of the special-needs daughter, and Ozarks bumpkin Janelle Arthur just didn’t bring their A-game to Group Day and are sent home earlier than expected. Sadly, we didn’t even get to hear the retro quirks of Emily Ann Reed again, nor the initially promising Adrienne Beasley, but I’m sure Seacrest is plenty happy his stalker, Courtney Penry, wasn’t given any more camera time.

Ashley Sullivan manages to keep her blood pressure low enough to join her group, The Hits, onstage for a really slick rendition of Blu Cantrell’s “Hit ‘Em Up Style.” Ashthon Jones is the clear star of the show, but all the girls work well together and add the cute touch of tossing surprise handfuls of prop cash in the air to cap off their routine. The judges say they had the “best harmonies” of the day so far, and all four ladies, including disaster-in-the-making Ashley, are given a green light.

James Durbin of the inhuman vocal range and ironic handkerchief has been pouting about a quintet of stage moms who seem to be coaching their teenage contestants during rehearsal. Durbin’s group, The Deep Vs, are performing Queen’s “Somebody to Love,” as are the aforementioned youngsters. Durbin is indignant about the age limit having been lowered to 15 and grumbles about the kids’ apparent advantage of having their moms there for support and advice. Regardless of the possible validity of his concern, it somehow seems to serve Durbin right when his group’s version of “Somebody to Love” leaves a steaming pile on stage, while The Minors absolutely kill it and receive the day’s first standing ovation from the judges. Durbin and Caleb Johnson are the only ones of their group to go through, while all five talented kiddies are given the go-ahead. J. Lo proclaims The Minors’ victory as “the performance of their lives,” while Tyler says it was “as good as it gets,” adding, “Freddie [Mercury] is up there looking down” with pride. I just hope those kids know who Freddie Mercury is.

After one sad sack pulls a Palin and gets caught looking at the lyrics he’d written on his hand (“Definitely gone,” chuckles Randy), two groups perform a cappella versions of The Temptations’ “Get Ready,” an Idol staple. The Night Owls have the advantage of Casey Abrams and Julie Zorrilla (who wore the same glittery heels J. Lo admired in her first audition – smart), but even they can’t hold a candle to the theatrical powerhouse that quartet Matthew Nuss, Naima Adedapo, Jacob Lusk and Da’Quela Payne showcase. All four of the latter group are sent through, while Julie and Casey of the Night Owls are the only ones of their set to see the light of day.

I was pleased to see singing waitress Devyn Rush had made it this far in Hollywood, but unfortunately, her group’s anemic version of Cee Lo’s “Forget You” relied solely on the bombastic charms of Carson Higgins and throaty drawl of Caleb Hawley to render itself listenable. Chris Medina continues to convince me he’s nothing but a sob story, and Devyn’s voice simply doesn’t exude the same raspy control it did in her first audition. However, the fact all three guys makes it through and Devyn is proclaimed the sole reject of the group catches everyone off guard, most of all her. If Chris Medina had been offed alongside her, Devyn’s offstage declaration of foul play would be overdramatic. However, considering this year’s Danny Gokey remains in the competition, she may have a valid point.

Brett and Jacee’s group is next, and their version of Duffy’s “Mercy” is perfectly competent until the youngest and latest addition is struck with stage fright. Fortunately, Jacee swiftly improvises a plea for, well, mercy in place of the forgotten lyrics, but his voice is thin and doesn’t command the attention an Idol’s should. Jacee is all but forced to admit his original group ditched him in the middle of the night and he only had a few hours to learn a song he’d never heard before. Then, he wisely turned on the waterworks to further help his case. Despite being clearly out of his league in this endeavor, Jacee and the rest of the Sugar Mamas are sent through to the next round anyway, just in time for Clint and Scotty to bear the brunt of their callousness.

When confronted about kicking Jacee out of their group, Clint tries to be diplomatic and comes up with a lame diatribe about needing to maintain the integrity of their sound. Whatever. Scotty is more genuine and tears up, admitting off camera that he’s “never felt this way before.” What way? Guilty? Welcome to life, Scotty. Regardless of their group’s suspect behavior, Clint, Scotty, Frances and Monique perform exceptionally well, and all four of them survive the judging panel, after Tyler gives Clint a deserved scare. “All three of you,” he pauses, “…plus Clint, are through to the next round.” Heh!

The group performances end on a disappointing note, as Three’s Company are shown struggling to rehearse with a doomed and despondent Rob all but refusing to participate. They’ve chosen the unfortunately wordy “Forget You,” and Rob completely blows it. He can’t recall a single syllable of the lyrics and improvises a whoops-I-don’t-know-what-I’m-doing ditty in the vein of Jacee’s earlier mea culpa, but the judges aren’t amused. He gets the axe, while Chelsee and a remarkably undeserving Jacqueline (seriously, she’s awful) head on to the next phase. It’s a shame that a guy with the kind of natural talent Rob has would choke to such an irredeemable degree, but given his attitude prior to the performance, I have to say he had it coming.

Thursday’s round of auditions begin with 100 remaining contestants ready to duke it out for a spot in next week’s surprise twist: an extra round of tryouts in Las Vegas, where the Idols will perform Beatles songs on the Cirque Du Soleil LOVE stage. The eliminations to determine the Vegas group will follow the same Rooms of Doom structure as prior seasons, but at least at this point in the competition, the contestants are finally permitted to use instruments and a backup band. After Wednesday’s exhausting group performances, it’s a relief to sit back and watch a few budding stars really shine in their element and witness the no-talents, who slipped through the cracks, finally get sent packing with no one else on stage to mask their ineptitude.

Haley Reinhart kicks things off with a no-holds-barred rendition of “God Bless The Child” that initially seems successful, but on second viewing is really a caterwauling, shouty mess of uncontrolled sound. She clearly fooled the judges, though, as they heap praise on her like white on rice.

Ashthon Jones continues to prove she’s one to watch as she nails “And I’m Telling You I’m Not Going,” while working a slinky red minidress that gives Julie Zorrilla and her lucky heels a run for their money.

Thia Megia is wearing a sweater that belongs on a preschool teacher, but her take on “What a Wonderful World” is the best I’ve heard her sound on the show thus far. She’s in like Flynn, I suspect.

Frances Coontz can’t find her key – apparently it’s in the same place as Caleb Johnson’s and Adrian Michael’s. Ouch. Bye.

I would love to hate Clint Jun Gamboa and his intentionally dorky glasses, but the guy can actually sing in spite of needing to tone down the melisma. Dude has a serious case of Christina Aguilera syndrome, causing him to turn one syllable into a fifteen-note run. “Georgia On My Mind” doesn’t need extra notes! It’s a classic song because of the way it was written. Sing it as such, please. Other “Georgia” crooners include Kendra Chantelle (who?) and barefoot Sophia Shorai (again, who?), who are both good enough to make me think they’ve been hidden thus far for a reason.

Chris Medina thinks he’s come up with a great idea, to sing an 80s pop hit acoustically, and is genuinely bummed when he realizes he isn’t the only one to have thought of this shrewd tactic before. Somewhere, Andrew Garcia is smiling. Or crying. Goofy Carson Higgins has also chosen Bobby Brown’s “My Prerogative,” but is performing it with a much more personality-forward approach than Chris. Carson seems like a blast to hang out with and is fun to watch as a performer but, admittedly, isn’t the strongest singer. In spite of his vocal shortcomings, however, Carson’s endlessly entertaining audition is shown nearly in its entirety, while Chris’ unplugged version catches barely ten seconds of airtime. I imagine Chris may be constructing a Carson Higgins voodoo doll as we speak.

Casey Abrams blows the doors off their hinges with his take on “Georgia.” He pulls an Idol first by bringing an upright bass onstage and completely floors the judges and viewers with a mesmerizing performance. The Taylor Hicks comparisons will likely begin to wane after this triumph, as Casey proved he’s far beyond the gimmick-ridden boundaries of the season five champ.

Chelsee Oaks chokes big time after Jacqueline Dunford leaves the competition with a mysterious “serious illness.” Although I’m certain they met less than a week ago, Chelsee tearfully refers to Jacqueline as her “best friend in the world” and is so devastated by her exit she isn’t prepared to deliver the killer audition she needs. Although I’m thrilled to see Jacqueline vanish from my TV screen, I’d originally had hopes for the talented Chelsee and Rob and am disappointed neither of them could hold it together for the semifinals.

Gee whiz, Lauren Alaina sings “I Don’t Want To Miss a Thing.” AGAIN. Yawn.

Jacob Lusk ties Casey Abrams for performance of the night as he brings down the house with his rendition of “God Bless The Child.” The judges are nearly rendered speechless, save for the unintelligible noises of approval Randy keeps shouting. Jacob is so shaken afterwards he literally runs out the doors and begins to sob – I think he literally sang his heart out. Seacrest, of course, ruins the moment when Jacob says, “I’m not normally a crier.” “Could have fooled us,” Seacrest snarks. Jerk.

John Wayne Schulz has the tough task of following the nearly religious experience Jacob Lusk wrought upon the crowd, but his subtle take on Fleetwood Mac’s “Landslide” is quietly precise and a nice counterpart to the grandiose gospel stylings that preceded him. Does he ever take his hat off?

Ashley Sullivan decides to perform a Michael Buble song that she always sings to her boyfriend – sounds relatively safe, right? Given her naturally panic-stricken demeanor and track record for melodrama, however, I can only imagine what catastrophe awaits. Of course, Ashley forgets the lyrics not once, but twice, and is encouraged to go ahead and “jump to the chorus” to speed things along. In between apologetic gasps and cardiac arrests, Ashley’s voice just doesn’t qualify her as a semifinalist in my opinion, and I have to wonder what the producers have up their sleeves. This girl literally got on her knees and begged to be sent to Hollywood in the first place, and she’s done nothing since but prove herself a whirling dervish of unmanageable anxiety and marginal vocal talent. This isn’t funny anymore, guys.

Scotty McCreery continues to prove he may be a one-trick pony, as his attempt to learn a song besides his “Baby lock them doors and turn the lights down low” go-to number doesn’t bode well for an expanding repertoire. His performance of “I Hope You Dance” is hilariously subtitled to help viewers understand the gibberish that comes out of his mouth when the lyrics completely escape him. He hits the chorus all right, but the verses are branded with something like, “mumbledy mumbldoo … nuts of wonder … zoo zoo talk …. gobbledygooble … in my jeans.” Afterwards, a rightfully worried Scotty ponders whether his deep voice is all he has going for him. I’d say nuts of wonder is certainly something to add to the list.

After the auditions, the 100 remaining Idols are shuffled into four separate rooms, two of which will be eliminated entirely, the other two sent to Vegas for another round of tryouts before the Top 24 are established. Personally, if I saw Casey Abrams, Jacob Lusk, Julie Zorrilla or Lauren Alaina in my room, I’d breathe easier. Scotty and Ashley Sullivan? I’d begin wondering what movie they’ll show on the flight home. This being Idol, however, Scotty’s deep voice and nuts of wonder are headed to Vegas to try and learn a Beatles song, and Ashley will hopefully manage to not give herself a stroke before she gets there. The aforementioned Casey, Julie, Lauren and Jacob also made the cut, as did Thia Megia, Robbie Rosen, Jacee Badeaux, James Durbin, Naima Adedapo, Carson Higgins and Rachel Zevita. Finally, Brett Lowenstern will crawl in someone’s pocket and head to Vegas, too. The Top 24 will be decided next week, folks! Get your voting fingers ready.

Are the producers as cracked-out as Ashley for sending her through to the next round? Are you wondering what happened to the White House intern, Scott Dangerfield, Kosovo girl, Paul MacDonald and other MIA early favorites? Will Scotty learn a new song? Will Randy ever dress like an adult? Post your thoughts about Idol in the comments section below!

Need more Idol? Read “Drama, Drama, Drama…” by Kelley Lynn.

Season 10, Episodes 9 and 10: Hollywood Round 2 and 3 (originally aired February 16 and 17, 2011)

For more American Idol coverage, click here.

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Photographs courtesy of Fox Broadcasting Company and IMDbPro.

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