Bones Review: Cheesy Pizza Skin

This episode worried me, given that the advertisments focused on Valentine’s Day, but I ended up pleasantly surprised.

There’s very little sap, and the references to the St. Valentine’s Day Massacre made my disenchanted little heart oh so happy. Cam (Tamara Taylor) is the one most excited about the commercial frenzy holiday, and it’s nice to see her happy in her personal life for once. I wouldn’t mind my boyfriend being a doctor, but the fact that he spends all day looking at/into lady parts is weird. Perhaps the expensive gifts and nice house make you forget where his hands have been all day. Probably.

But I digress.

Cam is in a hurry to solve the murder of a wedding planner, who they find melted to the inside of her home tanning bed. She looks like delivered pizza when the cheese sticks to the lid. Gross.

The case struggles to hold my interest; all the characters are flat and we don’t even get a good sense of the deceased, which obliterates any inclination I have to care about her gooey death. They narrow the suspect pool with evidence found mostly on the victim’s purple laptop, and wind up with a bitter, estranged husband (there’s always one!), her partner who just found out he’s inheriting the business, and the father of her latest high society daddy’s girl bride.

Clark (Eugene Byrd) is back and continuing his quest to completely change his personality in front of our eyes as he overshares details about the romantic night he has planned with his girlfriend. He also manages to find the shape and size of the murder weapon, so at least that’s helpful.

Hodgins (T.J. Thyne) does his particulate thing and identifies a specialty orchid in the victim’s hair, but worries he won’t be able to come up with the perfect gift for his wife. Angela (Michaela Conlin) insists they don’t have to be romantic anymore since they’re an old married couple, but Cam assures Hodgins it’s in his best interest not to listen to her. She shoots down a pair of earrings, and Clark dismisses the second idea, an ancient Egyptian tear jar, leaving Hodgins without a clue.

He is a man.

Sorry. It was too easy.

Booth (David Boreanaz) insists he’s “over” Hannah (Katheryn Winnick), which is ridiculous. It takes more than a week to get over a woman you wanted to marry. Whatever. He’s schizophrenic now, I forgot. Maybe he is over her.

At any rate, he’s anti-Valentine’s Day, which is funny but not typical Booth. Sweets (John Francis Daley) has a limited appearance in the interrogation room, and I miss him. Episodes are always better when he takes part in more conversations. Brennan (Emily Deschanel) is, of course, also anti-Valentine’s Day. Not a surprise, since she doesn’t believe in romance at all. She gets several phone calls from men asking her for Valentine’s Day dates, but turns them all down so they don’t get the wrong idea. Her and Booth end up spending the evening together at the shooting range. I liked that part.

They think they solve the case three times before they actually do, which is maybe supposed to be funny, but really it felt like the writers didn’t know how they wanted to end the episode so they just kept writing until it was long enough. Kind of like that last sentence. They suspect the client’s father, then the snotty client, then the partner before finally bringing in the bitter ex-husband. Really, was there any doubt? It’s always the bitter, estranged ex.

The scene where they force him to confess is cute, with Bones testing out her questionable acting skills. Hodgins makes Angela a slime mold that smells like roses, and names it after her. She cries, and I tried to be cynical but it’s actually a sweet gift coming from him. Cam gets to go on her date with gyno guy. Clark…no. I can’t even discuss Clark.

It wasn’t a bad episode, but there was nothing special about it, either. I watched it Thursday night, and when I started to type this recap on Friday afternoon, I had to try hard to remember the details of the show. The episode floundered, searched for footing, and slipped around in it’s own muck, but it still turned out better than most of the last two seasons.

So that’s something.

Season 6, Episode 14 “The Bikini in the Soup” (original air date February 17, 2011)

Bones airs Thursdays at 9/8c on Fox.

Top Chef Review: Elmo Makes It Exciting

Kicking Fabio off the show has to be the worst mistake made by the judges. The contestants miss Fabio, and one of the bigger personalities of the season is gone. The question that keeps running through my head is “why didn’t they kick Tiffany out?” The women brings absolutely nothing to the table on this show, and Tiffany has yet to win any challenge or supply any drama.

On to the Quickfire! Elmo, Cookie Monster, and Telly from Sesame Street are the guest judges, as they are experts on cookies. Certain contestants like Mike, Dale, and Angelo claim to have never made cookies in their life.

Richard actually chooses to make zucchini ice cream in the shape of a cookie, which looks beautiful, but is still not a cookie. Dale sticks potato chips and sugar in his cookie, and ends up winning the $5000 for creating a sweet and salty treat. It’s absolutely unbelievable how he gets away with throwing in random ingredients.

For the challenge, the chefs have to run around a massive Target for tables, cookware, and ingredients. Not only do they have to cook, but they have to build their stations too, so they’re running around an empty Target at three in the morning, thinking up appropriate food for 100 employees.

Mike and Angelo decide to team up which turns out to be a horrible idea. Mike tastes Angelo’s soup and says it’s missing something, so Angelo starts to throw in tons of salt. His actions (of course) make the soup too salty. Even though Richard has been giving out excellent advice, that doesn’t necessarily mean every chef can do as well, although it’s not entirely Mike’s fault. The judges also claim the soup is too heavy to eat an entire bowl.

Generally, Richard’s advice seems golden. A lot of people, like Antonia, are benefiting from it. At the very beginning of the show he went off about how Fabio should have asked him for help because he’s run a burger place. The guy is throwing away amazing advice. Too bad he doesn’t stop to think that making an actual cookie might be a good idea during the cookie challenge.

Carla is the last one to finish shopping and is left with only an hour to make soup. She should have used Campbell’s, which only takes, like, 10 minutes to heat up. Her soup turns out flavorless, and the judges criticize the lack of a protein, like chicken.

Dale, Antonia, and Richard have the top dishes of the night, but Dale is the one who wins $25,000 for his grilled cheese and tomato soup.

Carla, Tiffany, and Angelo are in the bottom. Tiffany, the forgotten chef, has a terrible combination of spices in her food, but Angelo is the one that gets kicked off the team.

Top Chef is like watching a horse race. You pick one contestant and you follow them until they win, similar to betting on one horse and seeing if it’s the one to cross the finish line. It’s less about the food since the audience can’t actually taste it. We have to rely on the personality of the chef to fully engage with the show.

Overall the most exciting aspect of the episode was the appearance of the guest judges from Sesame Street. What’s more fun than watching puppets taste food and realizing that they’re as handicapped as the audience when it comes to taste? The other exciting element was how the contestants had to race through a massive department store in search of cookware and ingredients.

Obviously every chef complained about being sleep deprived and not having the proper cookware.
If I had to give the episode a grade, I would give it a B+. Mostly because I like how Elmo told Antonia her chocolate cookies looked like cow chips.

For another take, visit “M is for Muppets and that’s Good Enough for Me” by Gabe Callahan

Season 8, Episode 10 “Lock Down” (original air date February 16, 2011)

Top Chef airs at 9/8c on Bravo.

Images courtesy of David Giesbrecht and Bravo

Gnomeo and Juliet Movie Review: A Blade Short

In a London backyard, for gnomes charged with a horticultural mission, “a weed by any other name is still a weed.” Likewise, in the 3-D, post-Toy Story era, inanimate objects coming to life by any other name is still Toy Story.  For Valentine’s weekend, the director of Shrek 2 combined the classic tragedy of Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet with the award-winning theme of Toy Story into Gnomeo & Juliet, a movie with whose plot and comedy its audiences are already familiar.

Like the timeless story of Romeo & Juliet, two London landowners, the Capulets and Montagues, are feuding, but at night fall when the humans’ feuding went to bed, it was just beginning for the gnomes, whose weapons include fruits, lawnmowers, and garden tools and whose enemies are dogs, cars, and concrete.  In spite of the feud between their landowners and families, two gnomes, Gnomeo (voiced by James McAvoy) and Juliet (voiced by Emily Blunt), attracted to a flower atop a greenhouse, instantly meet and fall in love.

Notwithstanding sassy characters and funny one-liners, Gnomeo & Juliet in 3-D reminded me of something I had seen before.  Having not seen a 3-D movie in years, the animation and backyard scenes such as the tool shed, the squirting frog, and the pink flamingo had me looking at my neighbor’s backyard – not mine – in a whole new light, but the general audience was for children. The Toy Story series won the hearts of kids and adults because it combined the classic toys adults remember with the natural affection children have for their toys.  How much fun do children have playing with garden gnomes?  Moreover, most children don’t know the story of Romeo and Juliet, so the plot was a bit lost on them although they all laughed at the right places and for the right reasons.  Since it was a children’s movie, of course, the character “Bill Shakespeare” foreshadowed that this would not follow the traditional ending, so at the end when the lawnmower crashed through the tower on which Juliet’s father had glued her feet, viewers – the adult viewers, at least – assumed that Juliet and Gnomeo, who climbed the tower to rescue her, were going to survive.

While I always enjoy listening to the music of Sir Elton John and while I also enjoyed viewing Gnomeo & Juliet in 3-D, albeit cumbersome over my regular prescription glasses, the hour-long animation was not worth the $8.50 sacrifice.  In comparison to another 3-D animated movie after which Gnomeo & Juliet was fashioned, Toy Story 3, Gnomeo & Juliet was a blade short.  For classic clichés on Valentine’s Day weekend, parents could buy their kids box of chocolate.  At least it’ll be worth the effort, and they’ll know their kids are really getting the sweet spots.

American Idol Review: Drama, Drama, Drama …

As Hollywood Week continues on American Idol, the show is starting to feel more like a teen soap-opera than a singing competition.  You see, this one is dating that one and used to date this one, until this one broke up with that one and broke her poor little heart. Then there’s this other couple who used to be in love, see, until the one girl made it through to the next round and the guy didn’t, and so after whining like an infant, he went home with his tail between his legs and now she is all stressed because they haven’t had any sleep and they have these important auditions and … OH WHO THE HELL CARES??? I know I don’t.

Douchebag, camera-hogging, attention-seeking host Ryan Seacrest narrated and walked us through this week’s trainwreck episodes, which focused on two things: 1. Group Songs and 2. Solo Songs.

The Group Song is a staple on Idol, and, in my opinion, one that needs to die immediately. This is where they take 168 contestants, throw them into a giant auditorium, and give them about 47 seconds to form groups with total strangers, get along with each other, create genius choreography and harmonies/arrangements to a song, rehearse it overnight for about 10hours or so, and then audition on no sleep to get through to the next round. Why? Who the hell knows. I thought this was a competition to find the next big recording artist, as in, 1person. Why on earth does it matter if they can work with other egomaniac divas and whackjobs, and sing in perfect harmony? Beats me. In any case, with the group songs, the DRAMA factor was broken down into 3 sections …

DRAMA Part One: Forming Groups

Producers created total unnecessary drama here by splitting contestants into two groups, Day 1 and Day 2, and allowing Day 1 people to form their groups “early”, thinking they were ahead of the game. But nooooo … not so fast! That would make too much sense and wouldn’t leave any room for pointless drama. So, after Day 1 people had already formed groups and begun rehearsing together, they were told that they MUST add someone from the Day 2 group to their group. This sent a billion teenage kids scrambling around a giant building, begging to join another group. It was complete insanity, and made very little sense.

Stupid Scotty McGreery and his dumb ONE country song in his stupid low voice that makes me want to commit a murder, was having trouble finding a group to join. Hey, here’s an idea! Maybe SING SOMETHING ELSE! Your repertoire consists of ONE annoying-ass song. Expand your horizons buddy.

Also having trouble finding a group was Tiffany Rios, because she is annoying as hell and everyone pretty much hates her. She is like a really awful, nobody cares, whiter-trash version of Jersey Shore’s Snooki. She is so annoying, even Snooki probably finds her annoying. In the end, she finally hooked up with Jessica Yantz to form the only allowed duo of the group competition. Apparently Jessica felt bad for her and offered to work with her. Awww, isn’t that special?

DRAMA Part Two: Rehearsals

So, after finally forming groups, everyone has from about 9pm that night until about 7am the next morning to rehearse. Most of them do not sleep at all, and use the entire building to practice choreography, singing, harmony, etc. Some use restrooms, hallways, stairwells, and even the parking garage to attempt to drown out all the other competing voices.

Ashley Sullivan from Massachusetts is quickly proving to be THE EMOTIONAL BASKETCASE of the competition. She is unintentionally hilarious, and for this reason only, I hope she goes through.  This chick’s singing is just okay; but her constant freak-outs for no reason are insanely entertaining. First of all, she looks like a rooster on crack every time they show her. Her eyes bug out like she just got electrocuted. Secondly, she looks like the most paranoid person on the planet, or like she just got done chain-smoking 4 cartons of cigarettes and downing a pot of coffee. Woman, chill the hell out. In the middle of rehearsing with her group, she, for no reason at all, had a mini-nervous breakdown and threatened to quit the competition, sobbing: “I want to go home! The cameras and everything – it’s just too much! Too much!” Ummm, what did you THINK would happen when you auditioned for the biggest, most popular TV Show in America? Helloooo??? Yes, there will be cameras. They aren’t going away honey. Get used to it. After a long talk with her boyfriend outside (God bless that dude for putting up with her constant drama), Ashley decides to come back and finish what she started. Yippee! Of course she did. Take your meds honey, you’ll be okay.

The other rehearsal drama involved Pillsbury Doughboy Jacee Bordeaux, whose group literally kicks him out at 1am in the morning. Ummm, what a bunch of a-holes. “You just don’t gel with our sound,” said the most pompous man alive Clint Jun Gambua, as he kicked Jacee to the curb.  Our sound? Who are you, The Beatles? You have a “sound”? Get a hold of yourself, jerk. Eventually, Doughboy found another group called “The Sugarmamas” to welcome him into their lovin’ arms. Gambua, meanwhile, continued to love himself and his Harry Potter glasses a bit too much for my taste. That dude is conceited.

The last, and, quite frankly, most boring drama involved the group calling themselves “Three’s Company”. This group consisted of Jacqueline Dunford, the one half of the couple in love that made it through, along with the ex-couple Chelsea Oaks and Rob Bolin. Seems that Rob can’t dance, doesn’t really feel like rehearsing, and misses his friend who went home. Waaaahh! Suck it up, loser. This is a huge opportunity. Stop acting like such a whiny victim. Very annoying.

DRAMA Part Three: The Performances

The groups chose from a list of about 20 songs, and apparently every other group chose to sing Cee-Lo’s “F**k You”, because they literally must have showed 578 different groups singing it. Oh. My. God. I love that song, and now I never want to hear it again.

There were loads of new faces highlighted during these group performances that we had never seen until now, and a lot of them were extremely good. The first group to perform included Pia Toscano, Alessandra Guercio, and Brielle Von Hugel, who had great voices and harmonies.  They were all sent through with a euphoric Yes! from the judges.

Tiffany Rios and Jessica Yantz, on the other hand; sounded like two dying cats when they sang together. When they were sent packing, Seacrest asked the genius question: “What do you think you could have done to make a better impression?” Hmmm. Gee. Oh, I don’t know. How about NOT SUCK?

One of the most baffling auditions came from a group who called themselves “Spanglish”, which seemed appropriate since it was difficult to make out anything they were singing or saying. Their performance was a massive trainwreck that was all over the place. In the end, 2 of them went through, and two did not. Don’t ask me their names, because I have no clue.

The “Nashville Stars” with Matt Dillard, Colton Dixon, and a bunch of other pointless people I’ve never heard of before, possessed awful harmony and forgot all the lyrics. Colton was the only one to make it onto the next round.

Keeira Lynn Ford, Ashton Jones, and freakazoid, take your Xanax, Ashley Sullivan also went through to the next round, while no one from James Durbin’s group made it through, except for him.

One of the biggest highlights as far as fantastic singing goes, was a group that consisted of all 15 and 16 year olds with annoying stage-moms watching backstage and lip syncing. Keonna Evans, Jalen Harris, Sarina Joi Crowe, Felix Ramsey, and Deandre Brackensick – a bunch of complete unknowns on the show who were given no camera time  until now – all got through on their delicious and complex harmony and vocals. Amazing performance!

Pillsbury Doughboy Jacee Bordeaux’s group all made it through, despite Jacee forgetting the lyrics and not having the best performance. Give the kid a break – he got kicked out of his original group for no real reason at all. God Bless that Doughboy.

Whiny crybaby Rob Bolin was sent home, while the two girls Jacqueline Dunford and Chelsea Oaks both continued onto the next round.

My absolute favorite contestant, the unique and amazing Emily Anne Reed, was also sent packing with zero explanation or story. They didn’t even show her audition or group. She was included in a list of names that Seacrest announced to the t.v. audience: “….also going home were ….” My guess is that she did nothing wrong, but they didn’t find her marketable enough to put her through.  Of course, we will never know, since they didn’t give her much camera time or chance to win over our hearts. I LOVED HER!!!

Once the Group Songs were done, those that made it through (100 people) went on to the Solo Song, their last chance to put it all out there onstage, alone. They had the option of singing with the full band, some instruments, acapella, or playing their own instruments.

Ashton Jones was incredible with “And I Am Telling You”, while another new face Sophia Shorai did a kickass job with the classic “Georgia On My Mind”.

Playing their own instruments (mostly either piano or some version of guitar) were Julie Zorrilla, Caleb Hawley, Colton Dixon, Bret Lowrenstern, Robbie Rosen (who looks like he has pubic hair on his head), and Casey Abrams, who played the first-ever stand up bass in Idol history in a pretty showstopping,  jazzy performance. After watching a couple of his performances, he is one of my new absolute favorites. Such a great talent.

Another major highlight was Jacob Lusk, who shocked everyone and got a standing ovation from the audience AND the judges, with his jazzy, gospel-style, incredible range vocals and falsetto on God Bless The Child.

Ashley Sullivan got up there and AGAIN freaked out for no reason, cried, forgot all the words, started over, forgot again, apologized, cried some more, shook with terror, and then left. Now that I think of it, she reminds me of a wet puppy dog coming in out of a storm; shaky and cold. They must find her as amusing as I do, because they don’t seem to want to get rid of her no matter how badly she keeps screwing up.

Stupid Scotty McGreery FINALLY went with another song, because he had no choice for this round. He chose Leanne Womack’s “I Hope You Dance”, but when he sang it, it sort of went something like this: ” I hope you mmmm….  mmmmmmmmhmm…mmm..mmm…oooh….oooh….mmmbtypaommmm…. dance..mm.”  That dude didn’t know one word of that song.

Jacqueline Dunford inexplicably bowed out of the competition after being “very sick” - and suddenly she was gone. Okay, whatever. You leave because you are sick randomly? Something tells me this has more to do with the fact that her boyfriend got kicked off before her and the whiny baby doesn’t want to stay home all by his lonesome while his woman goes off and does something successful. Waaaahhh!!!!

After the Solo Song Performances, the judges made some cuts and I think about half or a little more made it through to the next round, which is Las Vegas. This list includes:

• Pillsbury Doughboy Jacee Bordeaux
• Nutjob Basketcase Ashley Sullivan
• Pubic-Hair-Head Rob Rosen
• Lauren Alaina (who keeps singing to Steven Tyler over and over. Alright. We get it. You love him. Enough. Please stop singing to him.)
• James Durbin
• Casey Abrams
• Bret Lowrenstern
• Carson Higgins
• Julie Zorilla
• Stupid low-voiced Scotty McGreery (seriously???)
• Rude and obnoxious Clint Jun Gumboa and his dumb Harry Potter glasses
• Chris Medina
• Ashton Jones
• Boring John Wayne Schultz and his Cowboy Hat

This is not a complete list of everyone that made it through to Vegas, but it’s some of the memorable ones.

What do you think? Did your favorites make it to Vegas? Do you think Harry Potter wants his glasses back? Can we finally get to the top ten already so Seacrest can come down those stairs every night and have a chance of falling down them? Would you like to lock them doors and turn the lights down low with Scotty McLowvoice, or are you as tired of that song as I am? SOUND OFF HERE FOLKS!!! See you in Vegas!

Need more Idol? Read “Nuts of Wonder” by Erin Biglow

Season 10, Episodes 9-10 (originally aired February 16 & 17, 2011)

Wednesdays and Thursdays, 8/7c on FOX

Images courtesy of imdbpro

Read more American Idol opinions here.

Pretty Little Liars: Q&A with Keegan Allen

Keegan Allen plays Toby Cavanaugh on ABC Family’s hit drama Pretty Little Liars. And this season has been a series of unpleasant surprises as the shy, mysterious Toby finds himself falsely accused for the murder of popular girl Alison DiLaurentis. Things have gone from bad to worse, and as the first season prepares to draw to a close on March 21st, fans watch in anticipation to see what will become of Mr. Cavanaugh. In a Q&A conference call with Keagan Allen, the star comes clean on Toby’s troubled past, the identity of “A,” and if there will ever be a happily ever after for Toby.

Q: How do you compare to Toby?
A: It’s funny, Toby is a complete 360 of who I am; it’s very interesting to play that. He really bottles up, he holds everything back. He’s been abused during his childhood, he got sent away; he’s taken the blame for his sister being blind. I think if he would let it go, it’d be a tremendous release. I draw from other people and other experiences because he’s very, very different from me.

Q: How do you go about playing Toby?
A: I’ve had a lot of friends who reminded me of Toby and he’s a very interesting character to play. He’s really bottled up and it’s interesting to play that as an actor because I’ve been able to get a glimpse of his happiness or sorrow. For me, it’s based off of people I used to know in school, one of the outsiders and one of the socially awkward [people]; Toby’s very socially awkward.

Q: What are Toby’s motivations?
A: His motivation’s are drawn by the past; he’s been accused of a murder that he didn’t do. His motivation’s to live his life like a normal kid; just to be innocent. He’s still a child, and he likes to ride his motorcycle around. I guess it’s having people see that he’s not a monster.

Q: Can you tell us more about Toby and Jenna’s relationship?
They’re stepsiblings and it was brought to everybody’s attention during the mid-season finale that Jenna (played by Tammin Sursok) was abusive towards Toby. It’s been brought up and we’ll see where it goes. Jenna’s definitely a creeper and she doesn’t want him to leave her. She is a kind of a safety blanket and he finds sympathy with Jenna; it’s sort of a vicious cycle.

Q: What can you tell us about Toby and Spencer’s friendship, will it ever turn into something more?
A: Toby has been right where Spencer is. Right now she’s in this place where people don’t believe her and she’s dealing with a whole bunch of issues. Toby knows where that comes from because he comes from that same place. She’s stuck trying to be friends with Toby in a way where we might not have expected it and he opens up just a little bit more to her because he needs someone to trust. He has nobody to trust and Spencer’s very wise and intelligent. It’s just a great place for both of them to be. [As for a relationship with Spencer,] maybe. They have chemistry and we’ll see where it takes us.

Q: How will Toby’s friendship with Spencer affect his relationship with Jenna?
A: Jenna is a very jealous character. Toby and Jenna have a step-sibling, crazy weird kind of thing going on where he’s been abused and bashed by her in the past. I think that the jealousy will rise from Jenna in a different way than it would have affected him with Emily. Now that’s just another problem for Jenna to deal with, more people trying to pull Toby away.

Q: Will the Toby/Emily friendship ever turn into something more?
A: At first they were just really great friends, they’re both such great characters. I think that now, seeing where Emily is going with her own sexuality, they can be friends but he’s still very hesitant of Emily. I guess we’ll evolve more as it goes.

Q: Will we see a happy future for Toby?
A: I think we will. Obviously, we’ve seen Toby get beaten down and he’s always in that spotlight. With him getting his ankle bracelet off and finding a friend in Spencer, I definitely see a positive turn of events for him in the season finale.

Q: How would you like to see Toby become more like you?
A: I really hope that someday we could incorporate playing the organ. That would be creepy, but it would be cool to incorporate some of what I like to do into the character although Toby’s such a different character. I feel like anything the writers did write for him would be really nice for me to take on even if it had nothing to do with my talents. It would be cool to step into those shoes in something that might really strike for him.

Q: Toby bottles things up, what do you do to relieve stress?
A: I love to long board. And I love to go down to the beach a lot, that is the best stress reliever for me: to get on a long board and go down a hill, or take a hike.

Q: How did you get involved in acting?
A: I got involved in acting at a very young age. I grew up in a very bohemian family, my mother’s a painter and an artist, and my father’s an off-Broadway actor. I guess it got started when I just really liked editing movies when I was younger. In high school I did video production and I realized that learning behind the camera was great. I learned so much on set every day from the camera crew and everybody. But, I really decided I wanted to be in front of the camera. That’s kind of where it started.

Q: How did you get the role of Toby?
A: I long boarded over to the casting office for the audition, and it just worked out, it was great. I felt connected to the character and the rest is history. They developed this character from the series of books by Sara Shepard and I read all the books and got really into the series itself. I liked how it developed. I became hooked on the book series like everybody else and it just continued the snowball effect of learning about this character.

Q: Do you know who “A” is; is it going to be the same as in the books?
A: Obviously I can’t tell you who “A” is because it’s one of those things where I get in a lot of trouble, but it constantly changes. The writers are doing a great job. They have their idea and obviously they’re going to hold off on who “A” is for the longest. The longer, the better. But I don’t honestly know. Every time I think I know who “A” is, I don’t. Every time I think I know it changes so drastically that it drives me nuts.

Q: Who would you choose for Toby to go out with?
A: I think it’d be funny if he got with Ella, Aria’s mom (played by Holly Marie Combs) that would be awesome. It’s a little fantasy but you never know.

Pretty Little Liars airs on Mondays at 8 p.m. on ABC Family.

Photograph courtesy of Randy Holmes and ABC Family.

Glee Review: Personally, I think the episode should’ve been about Esperanza Spalding

On this week’s Glee. . .

Sue gives Will & Emma a suicide scare by ingesting too many gummy bear vitamins.  (They are quite tasty.) Since failing to make the cheerleading finals, she needs a new reason to live.  She rages all over McKinley, until Emma has the bright idea for her to join Glee. And Will agrees. Oooookay, that doesn’t make any sense at all.

Now on the inside of New Directions, Sue decides to incinerate it completely.  She pits Glee’s resident divas, Mercedes and Rachel, against each other, leading to a Diva-Off of Rent‘s “Take Me or Leave Me.”  Both young women are determined to Bring It, but, through the power of song, they end up having fun.  Sue’s plan is a total fail.  Perhaps if Rachel and Mercedes hadn’t chosen a song sung by lesbians in love?

Meanwhile, Quinn made up a story about saving Finn’s life via gumball/throat removal to cover up their make out session.  Still, Sam knows he’s losing Quinn, though he doesn’t understand that it’s partly because he likes to go to Color Me Mine. (I’m with Sam here – painting your own mugs and plates is so. much. fun.)  Having been assured from his father that there are two ways to get a woman to love you, and sensing that Quinn isn’t the hunting type, he chooses to go Rock N Roll.  And that means only one thing in 2011.  He’s got to go Bieber.

His one-man band, The Justin Bieber Experience, has its premiere in Glee after Will informs them that they need to pick an anthem to sing at Regionals this year.  Sam performs “Baby,” and he’s got the hair, he’s got the hoodie, but his moves definitely need some work, in my humble opinion.  But the Glee girls love it.  They’re like me circa 1989 whenever Jordan Knight was on stage.

Sam and Sue aren’t the only people looking for a comeback this week.  Rachel is too, and she’s attempting the fashionista route.  She pays Brittany to wear her look around the school.  It doesn’t work.  No matter what Brittany wears, the girls copy it, but Brittany gets the credit.  Rachel just doesn’t register as a trendsetter.  And Brittany can’t pay Rachel back; the goat ate the money (it made sense at the time).

The Glee guys, consisting of Artie, Puck, and Mike Chang, have found themselves in a post Valentine’s Day relationship lull.  Now that they’ve learned that Justin Bieber is a “mini-god” they want in.  And with some matching hoodies and choreography, they pull off the song “Somebody to Love” which I know because it’s in my iTunes library.  But my husband put it there, without my knowledge, I swear.  And I’ve only kept it on because I’m too lazy to actually clean up my music files.  Mostly.  Anyways, the song is impressive, and Puck is totally hoping that it will bring him one step closer to Lauren Zizes’ lady parts.  Doesn’t work, but she did lean on him for musical back up during her anthem number.

Lauren performs The Waitresses’ “I Know What Boys Like” and gets over her nerves by picturing the crowd naked, on Puck’s advice.  It’s a hilarious song choice, especially since she’s got Brittany and Tina as back up dancers, whom she shoves over at the end of the number.  Problem is, she doesn’t exactly sound good singing it.  It’s not entirely her fault; “I Know What Boys Like” isn’t exactly a song you sing.  More, you brat-wrap it, Ke$sha-style.

Having experienced the JB Experience, Quinn tells Finn this week that she chooses Sam.  But it’s too late.  She shoulda done that a long time ago, cause Santana has infiltrated this relationship, offering to be Sam’s mistress as a means of keeping his inner, Color-Me-Mine dork a secret.  Sam accepts, and calls Quinn out on her cheating.  Quinn’s bummed.  She should be.  That was some mean shit she pulled on him last week.

And, as part of her Glee experience, and inspired by a rendition of “This Little Light of Mine” sung by kids with cancer, whom Will just happens to visit in the hospital every week, Sue gets Glee to perform “Sing” by My Chemical Romance.  I don’t know the song, but it is certainly the most anthem-y of the episode.  Don’t get the whole plaid shirt thing, though. Sue has so much fun, she takes a new gig coaching Oral Intensity, New Directions’ chief rival.  So she gets to make Will’s life miserable all over again.  I’m looking forward to it!

And lastly, Rachel suggests that New Directions sing an original song for Regionals.  She’s shot down by the club.  But Finn suggests she do it anyway.  He also says something else, but I don’t know what because Glee keeps running over, and my DVR keeps cutting it off.  Aaarrrgggghhh!

So what did you think?  Anyone else think Oral Intensity is a really dirty name for a glee club? Are we looking forward to hearing the original song that we all know will be sung at Regionals and end up a best-selling single on iTunes?  Was there too much Emma in this episode for you?  And who else noticed – and laughed at – “AVATAR on Ice Auditions” on Rachel’s To Do List?

For another take on this episode, including some of the best lines from this episode, read “Now I’m a Belieber” by Inisia Lewis.

Season 2, Episode 13: Comeback (originally aired February 15, 2011)

Tuesdays at 8pm on Fox

Photographs courtesy of Fox and IMDb Pro.

Survivor Review: And So It Begins

The stupidity of contestants on reality television shows still amazes me. I guess that is why people continually tune in to these shows, to see people make absolute fools out of themselves.

Survivor: Redemption Island starts off with a bang, serving idiocy on a silver platter in the form of more than a just a few of its participants. To give you a quick breakdown, Survivor returned Wednesday night, airing its 22nd season (Yes it really has been on that long), and introduced us to 16 new castaways and two familiar faces. The two veterans, Rob Mariano and Russell Hantz, were randomly assigned to the Ometepe and Zapatera tribes toward the beginning of the show. Contestants welcomed “Boston Rob” with open arms, while his counterpart, Russell, was met with some hesitation by his tribe. The new twist this season is that when a tribe member is voted off, they don’t leave the show. Instead they go to “Redemption Island,” where they will live by themselves, awaiting the next person who gets voted off to join them. At that point, they will have a “duel,” as host Jeff Probst puts it, with the winner of the duel staying on the island and the loser finally exiting the show. At a certain point in the season the contestant who remains on Redemption Island will be allowed back on the “real” island to join a tribe and compete for the million bucks again. The whole concept of Redemption Island has already been used during seasons of Survivor in other countries and actually sounds like a pretty interesting twist. I just can’t wait to see what “duel” means. Hopefully, it involves the death of some of these unintelligent meatheads they have representing this show, but I digress.

And so the show begins. Throughout this season I am sure we, as an audience, will no doubt be privy to some excellent television in the form of drama, stupidity, genuine conflict, upsets, surprises and head scratchers. The latter of which brings me to the first issue I need to address with these contestants. I do not understand why, when old participants of the show are brought back, they are not voted off immediately. Clearly they have more experience and have been shown to be deceitful in the past (especially in Russell’s case), which no doubt tips the playing field in their favor. To me, it is a no brainer to eliminate these two immediately, thus balancing the game. However, it seems as though Rob has already been affixed the leader of his tribe, with his group of five minions ready to do anything he says. Even after only one show, I would be shocked if he didn’t make it to the merge. Russell on the other hand may be in a bit more danger. Some of his tribe mates are already beginning to see through his façade and perhaps, just maybe, they will wise up and get rid of him sooner than later.

With my review each week I will try to profile one or two of the contestants to give you my thoughts on them and give you a feel as to where they stand in the game. This week we begin with two of the most moronic players I have ever seen on this show: Kristina and Phillip. For some reason, there is always a player who thinks he can win the entire show on the first day. This season that player is Kristina. She decides to go on a hunt for the immunity idol, which to me is not the best first impression to make with your tribe mates. Then when she finds it, this muppet goes and tells two people about it. This makes no sense to me. Why would you EVER tell anyone you found the immunity idol on this show. That thing should be treated like a second life, for you and you alone to use. Telling someone about it is akin to beating the boss at the end of a video game then cashing in your gold pieces for an extra life to give to the boss. Dumb. Anyhow, Kristina hatches this big plan to get rid of Boston Rob (the one smart thought she has ever had), but she aligns herself with loose cannon Phillip. Phillip is an ex- federal agent, who I seriously think has mental issues and is perhaps a robot. Instead of using his knowledge of the idol to his advantage, he blows a fuse at tribal council and tells everyone that Kristina has it, thus negating their plan to get rid of Rob. Unfortunately for Francesca, who was also aligned with Kristina and Phillip, she ends up being the scapegoat for this failed plan and winds up getting sent to Redemption Island. As for Kristina and Phillip, there is no way they’ll be lasting on this show and will most likely be the next two voted off the Ometepe Tribe.

With one episode down, we have already had a lot of entertainment on this season of Survivor. The tribal council alone was worth the price of admission. It was the type of television that makes you feel awkward sitting there watching it, but you can’t turn away. Although I may not sound too enthused about the contestants on this show, we have really only been introduced to a handful of them. So let’s be patient and see what the other contestants have to offer. Next week I will be using my logic skills to make a bold prediction as to who I think will win the show (even though at this point it is a shot in the dark, but what the hell) so read up! And make sure you tune in to Survivor: Redemption Island every Wednesday at 8pm on CBS.

Season 22, Episode 1: You’re Looking At the New Leader of Your Tribe (originally aired February 16, 2011)

Don’t miss Survivor: Redemption Island Wednesdays, 8/7c on CBS.

Photographs courtesy of CBS Broadcasting, Inc.

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Glee Review: Now I’m a Belieber

Don’t call it a comeback! Because we’re not quite there yet. “Comeback,” the follow-up to last week’s fantastic “Silly Love Songs” isn’t exactly as energetic, as funny or as cohesive as its predecessor, but I sure did have fun watching. Okay, I’ll be honest. I’ve come down with a bad case of Bieber Fever, and when you have the Feeeva, all things cheesy, poppy and youthful, no matter want, are just all-around amazing.

It all starts with a sue-icidal Sue. When Emma and Will find her suicide note, they run to her home and find her on a bed, surrounded by pill bottles and with no pulse. Now, don’t be worried.  As Sue says, “I just stopped my own heart. That’s my CIA training.” After losing Nationals and the ensuing public humiliation, she has nothing to look forward to for the rest of the school year. The Cheerios could cheer for the school teams but “yeah like that’s gonna happen.” Emma comes up with the brilliant idea to invite Sue to sit in on glee club for a week, and Will takes this opportunity to keep a close eye on his nemesis. Albeit, Emma and Will could NEVER, like never ever, have imaged she’d plot a takedown from the inside. Sue pits Mercedes against Rachel which leads to a diva-off of astronomical proportions. Who won? Who cares?! Both Lea Michele and Amber Riley not only brought the house down; they burned the house down to the ground! When the showdown ends in laughs and hugs, Sue wants to know “where’s the hate” so Schu tries a harder approach to get her to understand the true meaning and power of song. They visit sick kids in a hospital ward and sing “Let It Shine” with them. I believe these kids were real patients, and I was balling, especially when Sue says, “I hate you for this” with a smile on her face. I hate you too for that, Glee writers.

Schu unveils New Direction’s competition at Regional, and it’s the Warblers and last year’s Aural Intensity. There’s also a new twist. They will be judged on incorporating the theme of the competition, and this year’s is “anthems.” Will describes an anthem as “an epic song filled with a ground swell of emotions that somehow seems bigger than itself, even bigger than the person performing it.” Okay, I swear he’s said the same thing about almost every other song genre, but I just wanted to clarify in case you are like Brittany who believes an anthem is “the bottom of an ant’s pants.”

Moving on, the relationship pentagon got a little bent out of shape this week. Quinn continues to lie that she didn’t kiss Finn but instead saved him with some mouth to mouth after he choked on a gumball. Sam is gullible enough to believe this because it’s happened to him before, so he focuses on trying to keep her interested. He says, “My dad always said there are two ways to get a woman to love you: take her hunting or rock & roll.” With that advice in mind, it’s on to a plan. Step one: the hair. Step two: inspire a room full of 13-year-olds to riot and creepily caress your hair. The one-man band, The Justin Bieber Experience, was born.

Sam has definitely been accepted pretty quickly into the Glee community. He started out as the adorable, new transfer. He speaks Na’vi and is a total dork at heart, but Chord Overstreet hasn’t had many opportunities to flesh out his character. I was pleasantly surprised to find that he’s even more adorable than previously assumed, and Sam’s a genuinely sweet guy. After he makes all the glee ladies crazy with his rendition of “Baby,” Mike, Artie and Puck want in on the action. Lauren still won’t succumb to the Puckerman charm, and Brittany and Tina are going through Valentines’ Day withdrawal, and everything pales in comparison to that lovers’ high. Even Mike Chang’s abs can’t seize Tina’s attention. These boys need some serious help. They’re in, but Puck has to wear a silky, faux toupee to fit in. (His head tosses, the kind only ladies and Bieber-ites do well, were hilarious.) Finn, still as angry and douchey as last week, hates on Sam, the Biebs and The Justin Bieber Experience.

I have to say they’re rendition of “Somebody to Love” is haaawt! There is weird chalk tossing, but like I said, the Biebs does some strange things to me. The powdery re-enactment is a little over the top, for a glee club performing on a school stage, but they lean into the goofiness there. Either way, Sam’s Bieber-wooing plan works, and he successfully draws Quinn back to his side again. It even got him a proposition from Santana, who’s always willing and eager to please. She pushed the fact that Quinn’s excuse is completely laughable, and he knows the truth but only wants to believe. The Bieb power works even better the second time around for everyone but Puck. “Although my love would crush him, I’m totally turned on by the Biebster. That is until I remember that he looks like he’s 12, and that’s sorta creepy so if I was going to give you a grade: C+,” Lauren says, but she’s doesn’t turn him down, as she still may have a proposition for him when the time is right.

The time comes when Lauren is ready to sing her first glee solo. Ashley Fink finally bares her singing chops and isn’t horrible. “I Know What Boys Like” isn’t the most vocally acrobatic song. (And it’s a lot more than I can claim about the wonderful Harry Shum.) With a little advice from Puck, Lauren unleashes a newfound, singing courage, helped by envisioning everyone in their underwear. Overall, the performance is pretty weird, but it’s fun and sassy, and as unbelievable as the courtship between these two, Fink and Mark Salling are selling the hell out of it and making their interactions a joy to watch.

In a more awkward side story, Rachel decides to stage her “comeback” by paying Brittany to copy her style and then tell everyone that Rachel was her inspiration. Though this isn’t the most organic form of a quintessential resurgence, I can get past that. It just seemed like a shoe-horned in storyline. It could have been dropped in any episode, or the writers just wanted to give all the ladies a good reason to dress like “sexy schoolgirl librarian chic.” But I can be happy that the Rachel Berry I know and love is back, and I like it. Like Finn said she “was more like her old self, focused and take no prisoners.” And Rachel is funniest when she’s self-absorbed and over-the-top and not mopey and mission-less.

By the episode’s end, everyone comes together to sing “Sing,” and even Sue looks like she’s enjoying herself. Sam breaks up with Quinn and starts dating Santana. Sue’s found her mojo through music and is now the new coach for Aural Intensity. New Directions is now officially her competition. Rachel thinks that they need something more than just any old song to place this year, like an original song. Finn agrees but doesn’t stick up for her in front of everyone. He tells her that she can write a great song (alone) and shove it down everyone’s throats. Then, they’ll have to listen. Though I do think “Sing” won’t win Regionals for them, I’m not sure an original song is the way to go either. I’m intrigued to see where this idea will lead and how Regionals will turn out.

I’ve already watched this episode twice. I, happily, accepted the freshness of a new, atypical perspective in Sam. And as much as you love or hate him, many people can agree that the Bieber swagger is mighty infectious. This episode, in no way, would be representative of why Glee wins awards, but it’s a nice way to spend an hour.

The Songs

“Baby”by Justin Bieber
Sung by Chord Overstreet
Grade: B+

“Somebody to Love”by Justin Bieber
Sung by The Justin Bieber Effect (Sam, Puck, Artie and Mike)
Grade: A-

“Take Me or Leave Me”by Idina Menzel and Fredi Walker from Rent
Sung by Lea Michele and Amber Riley
Grade: A

“I Know What Boys Like” by The Waitresses
Sung by Ashley Fink
Grade: C

“Sing” by My Chemical Romance
Sung by New Directions
Grade: B

Memorable Moments

• Has anyone else noticed that we’ve heard exponentially more non-engineered voices lately? Tina, Sam, Sue and Schu so far.
• “Will, you have more grease in your hair than the guy behind WikiLeaks.” – Sue
• “I wore a tank top today because I thought it was summer. No one ever taught me how to read a calendar.” – Brittany
• “Hey, Will. Esmé.” – Sue
• Emma’s depression pamphlet titled, “I’m too depressed to open this pamphlet.”
• “That haircut makes your mouth look even bigger.” – Puck to Sam
• “You’re lucky I left my blowgun at home, Airbags, because I got a clear shot at your nonnies.” – Sue
• “He’s clearly like a mini-God.” – Artie
• “My uncle lost his job and his goat was going hungry, so I spent it on food for the goat. Well, sorta. The goat just ate the money.” – Brittany
• “You better get a move on. Kids “R” Us closes at 6 o’clock sharp.” – Rachel
• “Most teachers think that by cutting class, I might improve my grades.” – Brittany
• “And William, I don’t care how adorable those kids are, if I hear one song from that classic-rock outfit Journey, I will start pulling catheters.” – Sue
• “Being a diva is all about emotion. In fact, you feel so much emotion sometimes, it cannot be physically contained. Sometimes you have to close your eyes and turn your head and push, push your feelings away, they’re that big!” – Rachel
• “I have to get my cross trainers. You wanna know why? I’m gonna be doing some runs.” – Mercedes
• “Every time you open your humongous mouth to do an impression or moisten an enormous stamp for a lazy giant, you get one step closer to everyone seeing you’re actually a dork.” – Santana
• “Listen, Rachel, I’m going to give you some tough love right now. You’re not a trendsetter. When people look at you, they don’t see what you’re wearing, they see a cat getting its temperature taken and then they hear it screaming.” – Brittany
• All the kids in their undies or lingerie and Sue’s in a dominatrix outfit.
• Sue’s completely plaid jumpsuit
• “I like that Rachel…she might be making a comeback”- Finn. And I like this Finn. He’s not an ass.

For another opinion on this episode, read Personally, I think the episode should’ve been about Esperanza Spalding by Alana D.

Season 2, Episode 13: Comeback (originally aired February 15, 2011)

Tuesdays at 8pm on Fox

Photographs courtesy of Fox and IMDb Pro.

The Bachelor Review: The Wheat and The Chaff

Would you believe it’s already week seven of Brad Womack’s Search for Love: Take Two? This time, it’s off to the Caribbean island of Anguilla, home to yet another luxury villa with private pool and first-class accommodations. This is, like, the most important episode ever, since we’ll find out which four women Brad will choose to visit in hometown dates next week. We’re reaching the very end, and try as I might, I can’t deny the fact that things have finally gotten undeniably, irreversibly, ridiculously and regrettably real.

 The Bachelor Season 15, Week 7 original airdate February 14, 2011.

The Bachelor airs Mondays at 8pm on ABC.

Images courtesy of ABC/Rick Rowell and Isaac Brekken.

 

Love & Other Drugs DVD Giveaway

Find the Remedy and win a copy of LOVE & OTHER DRUGS
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Smooth-talking playboy Jamie Randall (Jake Gyllenhaal, Brokeback Mountain) is on a fast track to the top of the pharmaceutical sales industry – promoting the miracle drug Viagra by day and charming the ladies by night. However, Jamie is taken aback when he meets Maggie Murdock (Academy Award®-nominee Anne Hathaway, The Devil Wears Prada), a radiantly sexy free spirit who doesn’t allow her treatment for Parkinson’s get in the way of living her life. As Jamie and Maggie juggle their respective medications, they are forced to reassess their budding romance when they realize that love is the ultimate high.

For your chance of winning a DVD copy of LOVE & OTHER DRUGS, simply do the following:

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1. Post your comments about at least one (1) of our front page articles

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Check out the DVD trailer via: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=al5DAytUhB4

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