Jersey Shore Review: A House Divided

 Ice Cold Vinny

The drama and tension continued on last week’s episode of Jersey Shore. 

I think male-female interaction is like a game of chess, at times.  A lot of the exchanges between men and women are strategic.  When Sam re-entered the house, she had the power.  She had the upper hand in their pseudo-relationship, because Ronnie was the one who screwed up last, and it was major.  He hurt Sam deeply and she left to re-group and get some peace of mind.  When she returned, Ronnie was committed to showing her that he changed, and she reluctantly agreed.  Now, Sam has managed to relinquish her power because it is she who had the latest screw-up.  I’m not saying that she is blameless in the whole Arvin situation, but once again – are they technically broken up or not? 

Sami has allowed Mike and the others to frame the argument instead of smartly doing it herself.  Now she’s in a position where she is the one trying to make amends to Ronnie.  She is apologizing to him and trying to earn his forgiveness and trust.  To that end, she probably feels like she needs to “make it up” to him.  It is for that reason that she and Ron “smushed” on the last episode.  I give up.  Just start back at square one.  I do not think Sam would have let Ron smush if she hadn’t been busted with Arvin.  She was trying to take things slowly before, but now they may as well be back in the same dysfunctional relationship.  It doesn’t help that Mike and the other guys are constantly in Ron’s ear adding fuel to the fire.  If he wanted to forgive Sam and move on, they probably wouldn’t allow it.  Mike cannot stand Sam, and the two of them exchange heated words again this week.  Mike called Arvin so he and Ron could get to the bottom of what took place him and Sam.  Arvin says that they didn’t really hook up, but they did make out.

Sam also has an exchange with Vinny, who is feeling emboldened after finally getting his ears pierced. Go figure.  He managed to skip this Guido right of passage, but now he’s making up for it.  After getting his cubic zirconium studs in each year, he’s feeling pretty fresh.  Later he and Pauly meet two girls at the club, and bring them back home.  Things quickly go awry when they get to the house.  Pauly implies that the girls are grenades, and his girl takes offense.  Pauly is a sweetie, but he did take a subtle dig.  To make matters worse, they get a strange knock on the door and it’s one of the girl’s brother.  The guy said he didn’t come to get his sister, and that he can come back for them the following morning.  Pauly tells him that he can take his girl now and come back for Vinny’s girl (his sister) the next day.  Sooo, that makes it pretty clear that Pauly is NOT interested in his date, if you hadn’t noticed his obvious disdain.  It seems like the plan is set until the girls get a little mouthy and things seem too complicated.  Vinny tells the kid to take both girls and roll out.  “Don’t let the doorknob hit ya” style.  Must be the earrings.

Vinny continues his mean streak by announcing that his smush plans fell through and implying that it’s time for Plan B. “Come on Snooki,” he says and pulls her away like she’s the sloppy seconds/second fiddle.  The peanut gallery hoots and hollers, and Snooki’s feelings are hurt.  She says that she’s nobody’s second choice; she should be their top priority.  That’s right Snooki, you stand up for yourself girl! Even if you are on your back more than a throw rug – demand your respect! Seriously, Vinny was out of line. To be fair though, I don’t think you can expect much more maturity out of 22 and 23 year olds.  Vinny admits during the episode that he could actually see a potential future with Snooki, if the circumstances were right.  So who knows…?

Best of the episode: Pauly running into “Stalker Danielle” again!

Worst of the episode: Sam and Ron.

What to watch for next: Sam and Ron, fight number 3,080.

Season 2, Episode 25: “A House Divided” (original air date March 17, 2011)

Jersey Shore airs Thursdays at 10/9c on MTV.

Images courtesy of MTV.

American Idol Review: Here We Are Now, Entertain Us

It was a bewildering week for Idol fans, as the seemingly unstoppable Top 12 put the brakes on their glowing reputation and churned out the most disappointing set of performances of the season to date. Likewise, judge Steven Tyler seems to be losing interest already, as the camera caught him eyeing his watch within the first five minutes of Wednesday’s performance episode, and slurring his gibberish with noticeably less zeal than usual. This week’s installment opened with a tepid plea for donations to Japanese earthquake/tsunami/nuclear meltdown relief that only illustrated just how much Tyler and telethons don’t mix. “There’s something wrong with the world today,” he haphazardly belts, before abruptly offering a forcibly chipper “Hi there!” that only sets the wonky tone for the rest of the evening. Had someone only thought to mention the idea of fundraising efforts mere seconds before airtime? I would have thought Nigel Lythgoe and friends would have taken a page from 30 Rock and already prepared generic responses to every possible natural disaster known to man. Apparently not.

The show never fully regained its footing from then on, as nearly every contestant seemed to have trouble staying on key and picking a song anyone could imagine listening to on purpose. The latter problem largely had to do with the mind-numbing sets of tunes to choose from, courtesy of the tried-and-true “Songs From The Year You Were Born” theme – hadn’t that been exiled during the Paula years? Despite Randy’s attempts to sing the praises of new mentor Jimmy Iovine and his team of producers, it’s seemed abundantly clear these industry experts haven’t brought much to the table besides unwelcome, disco-friendly bass lines that render the already-cheesy songs down to pure, unadulterated Velveeta. I thought the point of introducing Iovine was to up the show’s cool factor. Instead, we’re somehow still stuck with Bon Jovi, pre-Bodyguard Whitney Houston and the theme from Pocahontas, for crying out loud. POCAHONTAS.

After the judges settle in — Randy in his badass motorcycle jacket, J. Lo in her wormhole-creating swath of hair, and Tyler in his junior’s department low-rise jeans — Seacrest announces the night’s first contestant. Naima was born in 1984 and chooses Tina Turner’s “What’s Love Got To Do With It,” a pop staple of its time that should fit in with Naima’s funky vibe and streetwise presence. The song is a good match for her undeniable command of the stage and ease with performing, but unfortunately her pitch ranges from bearably off-kilter at the beginning to downright cringe-worthy upon the final unfortunate note. Again, Iovine is shown describing his desire to make this song “2011 worthy,” and as far as I can tell the only 21^st century update given is the fact it’s being performed on American Idol. Oh, and the thumping backbeat, of course. Tyler clearly won’t be offering any constructive criticism this evening, as he tells Naima she has “a sorcerer’s grasp of melody.” J. Lo admirably calls her out on the faulty pitch and rescinds the pass she offered last week, while Randy, of course, feels the need to point out the genius behind the “re-harm” of Rodney Jerkins’ arrangement. I’m still rooting for Naima, but I sadly suspect I’ll have forgotten about her by the time the voting lines open.

Paul’s up next, and his choice to sing Elton John’s 1984 hit “I Guess That’s Why They Call It The Blues” sounds promising – until he starts singing. It’s made clear Paul is battling a cold, and his obvious struggle throughout the performance is at times difficult to watch, especially when his voice fails to even make a noise during some notes. His trademark swagger resembles more of a disoriented stagger as he meanders the stage, clearly waiting for the song to be over. His sheepish shrug at the merciful end makes me feel sorry for him, as he’s clearly a talented guy who was forced to perform under less-than-desirable conditions. Randy reminds an exhausted Paul that many musicians are put in the same boat and have to simply fake it ‘til they make it, and Paul nods with dutiful acknowledgement. He knows it’s no excuse, but it doesn’t make it any easier. J. Lo and Tyler soften the blow by reminding Paul of his ever-intact “soul” and “star quality,” while the latter sums up Paul by declaring him a “cool dude in a loose mood.” Randy, still validating his career at every possible turn, tells Paul he reminds him of Ray LaMontagne, and Paul is cool enough to know who the Dawg is talking about.

Small Wonder Megia was booted up in 1995, a fact that almost short-circuits even Seacrest. This girl was born during the Clinton administration, people. Footage of her childhood is admittedly cute, and wee Thia was certainly just as precocious and musically prodigious as her calculated persona would suggest. The fact her mom used to sing her a lullaby from Dumbo is perhaps the only inkling of humanism we’ve learned of Thia so far. Her youth is particularly highlighted when Jimmy manages to convince Thia the Pocahontas theme “Colors of the Wind” is somehow relevant to the current strife in world affairs. Wow. I, for one, had completely forgotten this song even existed and am completely on board with the judges when they tell Thia to lose the ballads and sing something age-appropriate for once. Here’s a contestant who, given her age, could feasibly get away with performing some of the poppiest tripe the 90s had to offer, and she picks a Vanessa Williams ballad from a Disney movie? Something does not compute.

James Durbin and the maddening return of his tail couldn’t come at a better time – I hereby propose he follow Thia every week they’re both still on the show, in fact. Unfortunately, even he’s having an off night as his rendition of Bon Jovi’s 1989 song “I’ll Be There For You” doesn’t give him the opportunity to rock out as much as he seems to think it does. Despite carrying the mic stand across the stage with gusto and slapping front-row hands like a seasoned pro, James seems to be impersonating 1989 Axl Rose in his mind, but is executing 1989 Jon Bon Jovi in reality. For those who aren’t informed, there is a HUGE difference. Tyler warns James not to get “too poppy” on him but agrees to perform alongside him in the finale, should he make it that far. It seems logical to assume James is being rather presumptuous and arrogant by extending this challenge, but the truth is he has possibly the best chance of guaranteed longevity in this competition over anyone, except maybe Scotty. J. Lo says he “brings joy” to her Idol experience, but James is too busy showing off his studded leather spats to notice.

Poor Haley Reinhart just can’t seem to catch a break. As a result of becoming less annoying by the week and wisely toning down the baby voice, I found her nearly tolerable during her performance of Whitney Houston’s 1990 hit “I’m Your Baby Tonight.” J. Lo is spot-on in her observance of Haley’s insecurity on stage, but the girl has a decent voice hiding underneath her tendency to overcompensate with unnecessary growls and pouts. She’s definitely still laying it on way too thick, but at least she’s marginally on key in spite of losing her breath here and there during the impossibly wordy verses. Unfortunately, her relative triumph this week (relative, mind you) is marred by what will forever be known as the Red Lipstick Massacre – neither her teeth nor her chin were safe from attack, and the fact Seacrest is the only person with the decency to show up with a tissue would earn him points in my book if he hadn’t pointed out the smudges on live, national television. He almost looked like a mom wiping away chocolate stains with her spit. Step away from the Idol, Seacrest. Meanwhile, Randy chides Haley for her inconsistent song choices, and Tyler expresses a desire to hear more blues from her; specifically, the kind of music her parents make. I’m virtually certain the 20-year-old Haley would love to sing ANYTHING but music that sounds like her parents’.

Seacrest weakly tries to call Stefano and Pia “the Italian connection,” and thankfully no one seems to express any desire to make that a recurring event. Stefano, like Haley, came from a musical background. His father and grandfather are both musically inclined, and Stefano’s dad expresses genuine pride at passing along a talent to his son. Stefano was born in 1989 and sarcastically references the glowing repertoire of music he has to choose from. Personally, I would have loved to have heard him attempt “Hangin’ Tough” by the New Kids, and I suspect the phone lines would’ve ignited as a result. Lacking the insight to realize the benefit of such a risk, however, Stefano instead goes for Simply Red’s “If You Don’t Know Me By Now,” and it’s so golly-gee and dimpled the judges fall all over themselves in praise. Although it probably really is the best performance of the night so far, that really isn’t saying much. Stefano does have an admirable eagerness to him, but his notes sound consistently strained to me as though he has to garner every last breath in his lungs to make that high note work. Tyler comments about Stefano making Jimmy Iovine “even more” famous than he already is, and I realize Tyler has no idea what people in America are really aware of. Hint: not Jimmy Iovine. Randy notes the song’s degree of difficulty, while J. Lo tells Stefano he has a real shot at the title if he keeps turning out performances like this. My sheer ambivalence toward Stefano finds this statement puzzling, since I can’t possibly fathom this kid winning.

Pia, like Thia, has had stars in her eyes from a very young age, and claims the only way to calm her down when she was little was to videotape her singing. Cue the hilarious footage of a tiny Pia belting out “I Will Always Love You” with the unmistakable drive of a child star. Her wild-eyed ambition is both cute and mildly creepy, but at least she grew up with the pipes to back it up. This week, Pia is reportedly stepping outside her comfort zone and singing…a Whitney Houston song. Yeah, this sounds like a real change of pace. The song is 1988’s “Where Do Broken Hearts Go” and the only difference between this performance and Pia’s previous efforts is the pointedly uptempo arrangement courtesy of Jimmy and his whiz-bang team of music industry professionals. See how versatile she is? Tyler apparently fell for it, declaring, “You are why this show is called American Idol.” I’m still trying to figure out what that means, as is Tyler, I suspect. J. Lo tells Pia she’s “perfect every time” she gets on stage, while an excited Randy begins to excitedly point and excitedly shout, “Pia is in it to win it!” Well, to be fair, I’m pretty sure they’re all in it to win it.

Scotty “Nuts of Wonder” McCreery wins the award for Best Baby Pictures when it’s revealed he had a mildly questionable but wholly adorable fascination with Elvis as a child. His parents are also cute, offering their own renditions of “Baby Lock Them Doors” before admitting they have no idea where Scotty’s musical inclination came from. The year? 1993. The song? “Can I Trust You With My Heart,” by Randy’s BFF Travis Tritt. Scotty makes genuine effort to expand his range and sing extended notes that actually reside near the treble clef, and the result is an admirable evolution from last week’s competently sung Garth Brooks song. I still prefer to listen to Scotty than watch him, or not listen to country music at all given both those options, but I daresay this kid is the closest thing to a prodigy Idol has ever offered. Plenty of kids like Thia have presented scarily perfect pitch, but Scotty is just so tailor-made for country songs that I can’t imagine him doing anything else. Stefano folding clothes at the Gap? Sure. Haley taking your order at Chili’s? Absolutely. Scotty…selling light fixtures at Home Depot? Not so much. The fact the judges can barely get a word in over Scotty’s screaming fans speaks for itself.

Oh, Karen. Karen, Karen, Karen. Why would you go out of your way to tell Jimmy Iovine you don’t want to be known as the contestant who sings in Spanish, and then SING IN SPANISH? Once I dry my eyes after witnessing the pride and joy Karen’s mother has for her daughter’s talent (“This is my Oscar in my life.” Wah!), Karen ruins the moment by attempting to sing Taylor Dayne’s 1989 song “Love Will Lead You Back” while wearing a go-go outfit from the future and doing exactly what she just said she wouldn’t do. Like last week, Karen tries to sing notes outside her range and the focus and strain it takes sucks her out of the performance. Her stage persona is rendered rather lifeless as a result, in spite of the eye-catching outfit. Oh, Karen. You seem like such a nice girl. J. Lo clearly has her back and gives her the solid advice of avoiding notes she can’t sing. What a concept. Randy offers a halfhearted “welcome back” since this performance isn’t quite as bad as last week’s, and Tyler continues his descent into delirium by telling Karen he appreciates her “ethnic what-it-is-ness.”

Unsurprisingly, Casey has far and away the coolest parents of the bunch, since he is arguably far and away the coolest Idol of the bunch. My vision goes dim for a moment when Casey says he was born in 1991, the year Nirvana’s “Smells Like Teen Spirit” was released. Upon hearing his song choice and the fact he’s being allowed to play the electric bass during his performance (if that’s the case, where are Paul and Scotty’s guitars?), I gear up for something epic. While I choose not to think about Kurt Cobain rolling in his grave upon word that his iconic breakout hit is now performed on a show that personifies everything he detested about American society, I’m officially excited to hear Casey’s take on the new classic. Surprise! It’s amateurish, tuneless, immature and completely disappointing. Really. With the exception of a few dissonant horns I can hear in the arrangement, the entire performance is far too straightforward and sounds like an angry kid jamming in his parents’ garage. As per usual, Casey almost talks his way through his obligation to sing and doesn’t offer any insight into the real depth of his musical ability. The judges are also confused, and Tyler’s careful rave of the performance seems only to stem from love of the song choice alone. Randy commends Casey for choosing “art first before commerce,” and I almost throw my shoe at the TV. J. Lo makes the most astute comment, telling Casey that even Kurt Cobain didn’t scream all the time – he maintained consistent tone and intensity without resorting to an empty screech. Casey doesn’t seem to understand his missed opportunity, but at least there will be plenty of others – he was only just born in 1991, after all.

Lauren Alaina is another Idol recovering from a cold this week, but she’s clearly letting the medicine get to her head a bit more than the others, as a sickening exchange between she and Seacrest involving mustachioed surgical masks barely gets off the ground. Seacrest himself can’t even stomach it, but Lauren snorts, “Look at yeew!” with an extended drawl until they practically carry her to center stage. It’s a sight to behold and I prepare myself for an unmitigated disaster. 16-year-old Lauren gets it together for the performance, however, and sings 1994’s “I’m the Only One” with nary a fraction of Melissa Etheridge’s raw desperation and gravelly triumph. It’s basically the Hannah Montana version of the song with bursts of undeniable skill peppered throughout, but the grating nature of Lauren’s aren’t-I-cute personality permeate my judgment and I confess I may never get on board the Alaina train. Besides, the fact her mother seems to be younger than she is seems a bit suspicious, no?

Jacob Lusk is on hand to close the show, and he’s bravely chosen Heart’s “Alone,” a 1987 song that Carrie Underwood famously slayed (thanks, Randy) in season 4. Besides being completely outside his genre, Jacob is also taking the risk of singing something a previous contestant nailed – not an easy, or necessarily wise, feat. Without the grossness of R. Kelly to tarnish his chances, however, Jacob rises to the occasion and delivers a maniacally over-the-top, gospel-on-crack version of the song and I daresay I love it in spite of the, yes, pitch issues. Randy also dug it for the overall “product” it offered, essentially telling Jacob the whole of the performance was greater than the sum of its parts. Tyler announces that the “gospel had a baby and named it Jacob Lusk,” while J. Lo applauds Jacob for completely immersing himself in his performances. Despite being one of the more polarizing contestants of the season, I personally can’t wait to see what Jacob does next.

Thursday’s results show offers more last-minute pleading for Japan relief donations and continues the theme of showcasing the Idols as children. Scotty admits he wanted to be an astronaut when he was younger, but his “brains aren’t astronaut material,” while Naima says she originally aspired to be a veterinarian. Thia and Pia, of course, never thought of anything else but singing, while Paul says he’d dreamt of becoming a comedian, and Jacob imitates the newscaster he’d imagined himself becoming. As per usual, the montage recap of Wednesday’s performances makes it seem to someone who hadn’t watched like they’d missed the television event of the century, but wait! Lee DeWyze is performing next, along with the Black Eyed Peas! I immediately begin to strategize my upcoming trips to the fridge and bathroom.

The group performance showcases a mash-up of the guys singing “Born To Be Wild” and the girls singing “Born This Way,” and judging by the shoddy sound work and faltering microphones, I’d say it wasn’t pre-recorded for a change. The Ford commercial (strangely titled “Val Kilmer,” does anyone know why?) focuses on the Idols in various stages of the moviemaking process, and then we learn of a few of their hidden talents, or lack thereof. Scotty can’t sound British to save his life, Jacob doesn’t, um, go to clubs (?), and Karen makes funny sounds with her throat (we know, honey). How interesting.

Seacrest asks backstage dungeon dweller Kieran to dim the lights for the first results reveal, and it’s a doozy: Jacob, Lauren and Casey are all safe. Whaddya know. Between Haley and Paul, Haley’s lipstick massacre proved a bigger disaster than Paul’s illness, and she’s sent to the bottom three. I must say, I thought Haley handled the whole lipstick disaster remarkably well and was surprised she didn’t gain fans as a result – I would probably have run off the stage crying in her position.

Next, Seacrest blithely introduces Lee DeWyze as “the paint salesman who became a superstar” (superstar?!), and the Black Eyed Peas remind me why such things like the Grammy Awards really hold no meaning. Given a choice, I’d rather be stuck on a deserted island with nothing to listen to but Lee’s song for the rest of my life than have to endure another Peas performance ever again. How do vocals that are electronically manipulated to the point they no longer sound human still pass as musical talent these days? Sigh. “I Just Can’t Get Enough?” Oh, I most certainly can.

Scotty? Safe. Pia? Safe. Durbin? Safe. Yawn.

Stefano and Thia are both deemed safe, leaving Naima and Karen to join Haley in the dreaded chairs of doom. While I wouldn’t have been surprised at any of those three ladies’ departure, I’m thrilled when it isn’t Naima. If she can just get her pitch together, she has the goods to wow us, and there’s plenty of time. After mercifully little pomp and circumstance, Karen is told adios, and J. Lo has the grace to at least pretend she wanted to give her the judges’ save but was “outvoted” by Randy and Steven. Hasta luego!

Do you believe J. Lo actually tried to save Karen? Did Casey try to suck on purpose? Why are the Black Eyed Peas multiplatinum, multimillionaire recording artists? Would you rather buy paint from Lee and watch it dry than hear him sing again? Post your Idol thoughts below!

Need more Idol? Read “Tonight’s Theme? Awful Pitch” by Kelley Lynn.

Season 10, Episodes 18 – 19: Finalist Compete and One Voted Off (originally aired March 16 – 17, 2011)

For more American Idol coverage, click here.

Don’t miss American Idol Wednesdays and Thursdays, 8/7c on FOX.

Photographs courtesy of IMDbPro.

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Bones Review: Finally, We Can Move On

I really enjoyed the most recent episode of Bones.

I’m going to stop, smile, and say that again because it felt great.

I really enjoyed the most recent episode of Bones.

The previews made me nervous because they seemed to focus on the relationship between Booth (David Boreanaz) and Bones (Emily Deschanel), and although those portions of the show toddled toward awkward, they were thankfully brief. Instead, the writer’s gave us the kind of fun, heartfelt, ingenuity filled story that hooked us on their show and character all those years ago.

The night began with Sweets (John Francis Daley), Booth, and Brennan having lunch, where Sweets broaches the topic of their lingering feelings and suggests they might want to consider reentering therapy. Instead of paying attention, Brennan gets a phone call about a murder and Booth spots an old row of seats from Veteran’s Stadium. He convinces Brennan and Sweets to help him move the seats back to his apartment before they head to the Jeffersonian.

The problem is, a blizzard is descending on D.C., and Brennan and Booth have just managed to maneuver the seats into the elevator when the electricity goes off across the city, including in the Jeffersonian. Since everyone’s stuck, they figure they might as well try to solve the crime using old school investigation techniques. Our guest star this week is Wendall (Michael Grant Terry), who is thankfully pretty much the same Wendell we know and love, and he starts out by figuring out how to do manual x-ray’s (with Bones’ help), and removes the tissue from the bones using an old fashioned pot of boiling water.

Hodgins (T.J.Thyne) makes an important discovery regarding a tick found on the corpse, resulting in an all points bulletin for a killer possibly infected with a highly contagious disease. That fact intensifies their need to solve the case, stuck in an elevator and without electricity or not.

Wendell finds shrapnel in the woman’s leg, leading the team to confirm her identity as a foreign aid worker who was wounded in Chechnya. She’s recently been stationed in Albania, and apparently had become aware of a human trafficking issue among young immigrants to the United States. Angela (Michaela Conlin) wants to help out by pulling some recent numbers off the woman’s damaged cell phone, but needs some battery power. Wendell and Hodgins have a grand time using potatoes to generate energy (a favorite of middle school science geeks the world over) and get Booth and Bones a location.

Sweets broached the subject of Hannah’s exit from Booth’s life and whether or not he and Bones think talking about their dormant feelings would be a good idea. Booth gets extremely upset and throws a bag of frozen peas at Sweets. They make up in a hilarious scene that illustrates just how differently the female and male brains operate.
Bones and Booth have their own discussion, about how although the sex would undoubtedly be great, neither of them is in a good place for a relationship. It’s slightly uncomfortable for me, but the conversation is also honest, which felt nice.

They manage to escape the elevator through the escape hatch and make their way to the address Angela got from the phone before the potato experiment went kaput. The case winds up in a funny moment when the diseased killer falls atop Booth. They also rescue a slew of poor Albanian women being sold into slavery. All in all, a good day.

I’ve long been a fan of Angela and Hodgins, and their relationship continues to be a nice subset of the series. Tonight we learn they’re both carriers of a recessive genetic disorder that puts their unborn child at a 25% risk of being born blind. They struggle with this knowledge, but in the end realize that they’re strong enough to handle everything – including raising a special needs child.

Booth and Bones end the night at his place, and agree to revisit the potential of a relationship between the two of them at some point in the future when they’re both healthy and emotionally ready to take it on. In spite of my frequent rants about spending too much time on their “relationship”, this was nicely done and will hopefully put the issue to rest for a while.

Oh, and Cam got a haircut. It’s nice.

Season 6, Episode 16 “The Blackout in the Blizzard” (original air date March 17, 2011)

Bones airs Thursday nights at 9/8c on Fox.

Pictures Courtesy of Richard Foreman and FOX

Fringe Review: Of Course It’s Complicated

The thing I maybe like most about Fringe is its ability to keep us guessing. This week is no exception, as we all waited on the edge of our seats, beds, etc to see what would happen with William Bell’s consciousness inside Olivia (Anna Torv).  The answer turns out to be equal parts disturbing and funny, because while Walter (John Noble) is thrilled to have his friend and brainstorming partner back in his life, Peter (Joshua Jackson) would certainly prefer his girlfriend to be, you know, uninhabited. The Bell-inside-Olivia conundrum also gives Astrid (Jasika Nicole) the willies, since he/she comments on how lovely parts of her body are throughout the episode.

The bottom line, though, is they need Bell’s help to figure out what’s going on between the universes, as well as a way to stop it. Walter’s not-so-secret ulterior motive remains to get Bell’s help on figuring out a way to save Peter from being the one to destroy at least one of the worlds.

It seems Bell isn’t too keen on the idea, believing the drawings Walternate gave Peter represent the younger man’s fate, which is something impossible to escape. I took it to mean Peter can’t change the fact he might end up in the machine, but maybe he could find a way to change the outcome or impact of his involvement.

There are plenty of weird/funny moments this week, which I enjoyed and also served to prove once again what fantastic acting chops Anna Torv has. She’s played herself, the Altlivia, Altlivia impersonating Olivia, Olivia impersonating Altlivia, and now William Bell with a subtle grace that continues to impress me.  Watching her laugh over inside jokes with Walter, compliment Astrid, and conduct physics experiments in a lab coat lent so much credibility to the storyline, which could have turned out cheesy and unbelievable without her ability to make us believe every small movement, every slip of dialogue as long as it’s coming from her. We trust her, and that’s no small feat.

Peter, of course, wants his Olivia back. So does Broyles (Lance Reddick), but he agrees to give Bell 48 hours to find a suitable host for his “soul” that is not a federal agent. Walter and Bell (Olivia) help solve the case of the day, which centers around a suicide helpline staffer who can’t die.

The woman was shot in the head and presumed dead after a home invasion that also killed her husband and child. For a reason unknown to both her and the investigators, she didn’t die. Now, when she goes to a potential suicide victim who can’t or won’t be helped, she tries to die with them, “hitch a ride” to the afterlife. She’s been unsuccessful thus far, but she gets a new idea when a man kills himself after telling her he’s planted a bomb on a train.

She’s a melancholy character, this woman who knows she should have died with her family but for some reason remains stuck on earth – to her, an unending purgatory – and wants it to end. She’s thinking maybe being blown to bits will be the answer.

The team discovers she’s been struck by lightening twice, and hypothesizes the molecules in her body are supercharged, or super stuck together for those of us who don’t really understand a lot of science. The story kind of goes wonky for me around this time, because there’s no reason she has to take a train of people out with her. If she wants to see if being blown into bits will work, all she has to do is take the bomb into an open field and curl up around it until it blows. Perhaps the hitchhiking theory is true, and she figures with hundreds of souls headed into the unknown, one of them is bound to take her along.

The F.B.I. can’t let his happen, of course, and Peter, with the help of Walter and Bell (Olivia) find the train and evacuate it before the bomb can detonate. The woman does haul the bomb off the train, and she ends up dying in the explosion.

When Peter gets home he finds a philosophical Bell (Olivia) waiting for him with a cup of tea. As they discuss the future and its possibilities, a bell tolls in the distance and for a moment the real Olivia appears before being shoved aside by Bell’s consciousness once again.  Peter demands to know what happened (Olivia seemed frightened and confused, even though Bell has assured us she’s just “napping”), and Bell responds, “This might be more complicated than I originally thought.”

Isn’t it always, William Bell? Isn’t it always.

Season 3, Episode 17 “Stowaway” (original air date March 18, 2011)

Fringe airs Friday nights at 9/8c on Fox.

 

Top Chef All Stars Review: Insert Conch Pun Here

Part 2 of the Top Chef All Stars finale starts off very solemn because of Carla’s departure. There’s not a lot of time for tears of course, because the chefs are in the homestretch of a reality show competition in the Bahamas. So on to the…

Quickfire Challenge! Padma is there to greet the chefs like always and with her this time is Lorena Garcia, one of the judges from America’s Next Great Restaurant. They tell the cheftestants the challenge is to get into teams of two and cook 100 identical dishes in an hour for some hungry diners. The idea is that making one delicious dish is one thing, making that same dish a hundred times over is something else completely. They need to be consistent and precise.

The teams are boys versus girls,  Mike and Blais going against Antonia and Tiffany, which is always fun. The girls win the challenge and the guys seem shocked the ladies are able to cook for some reason. The girls prepare a seared beef tenderloin salad with lentils and celery leaves which made it harder to dish up than the boys’ pork Bolognese with fresh macaroni and pecorino cheese. In the end Lorena decides Antonia and Tiffany’s dish has more flavor and is more “precise.”

It was around this time I began wondering when Padma was going to show up in a bikini like the promos promised. But first, the Elimination Challenge!  This challenge involved creating a lunch to celebrate the 80th anniversary of the Nassau Yacht Club. The ingredient they all have to use is conch. The chefs get into some swim gear and find Padma down at the pier in a bikini (yay!) and heels (because that’s what is in style right now I guess). I’m not complaining.

The chefs go out to a “deserted” island and find several crates filled with every ingredient they need (grouper, snapper, spiny lobster) except for conch.  The conch crate holds snorkeling gear, which is a dead giveaway they’ll have to go get the conch themselves.

The chefs waddle into shallow waters to go conch hunting. The most entertaining part of this endeavor was Blais’ “swimming” technique, which is also known as “drowning.”

They do get around to cooking for the challenge, and here’s the rundown:

Blais makes sweet potato linguini with conch and spiny lobster.  The judges don’t notice his linguini is made out of sweet potatoes and think it’s normal pasta. Oh, and his lobster is a little undercooked, which is a pet peeve of mine. You can’t undercook dishes in the finale, Richard!

Antonia cooks red snapper with conch tartare and lobster nage. People love the flavor, of course Antonia always seems to be able to bring the flavors out in her dishes. But Colicchio couldn’t taste the conch which was the point of the challenge.

Tiffany creates conch and coconut chowder with sweet potatoes and conch ceviche. Her chowder, which was supposed to be hot, was served cold to the judges.

Mike fashions banana leaf-wrapped grouper, braised pineapple and conch vinaigrette. Most thought this was a well cooked dish. Mike, who many see as the villain this season, is slowly growing on me. He’s just impressing me more and more towards the end of the show.

Mike wins this challenge  and poor struggling Tiffany goes home.  This sets up a great final three, with the still favored Blais, the extremely talented Antonia and the not-so-villainous Mike.  On to the next finale showdown!

Season 8, Episode 14 “Island Fever” (original air date March 26, 2011)

Top Chef: All-Stars airs Wednesday 10/9c on Bravo.

Images courtesy of Virginia Sherwood and Bravo.

Pic: 1st Photo – Adrianne Palicki As Wonder Woman In NBC’s Series Reboot

Haters beware!  After seeing this picture, we think it might actually work out.

Friday Night Light’s Adrianne Palicki as the Amazon princess, Wonder Woman, might be a winner!

Survivor Review: Planting the Seed

It is nearly impossible to follow up last week’s episode of Survivor, when the audience was given a glance at just how pathetic Russell Hantz is as he broke down in tears after being eliminated from the show. Hey pal, here is a spinning newspaper for ya: this is just a reality TV show; you are a dime a dozen, you self-centered waste of space. Now that we don’t have to watch a person who is the epitome of what is wrong with the world, we are left with a show that has plenty of other characters to analyze.

This week’s episode started off with the usual duel at Redemption Island which pitted Kristina versus the undefeated Matt. Predictably, Matt prevailed and sent Kristina packing. I think it is safe to say that Kristina sealed her fate during week one when she tried to take down King Kong Rob. While I applaud her efforts in this feat, I still think she would have been better suited in waiting until the game developed more. Matt, on the other hand, is showing ability by winning these duels, and if he makes it back into the game, it would be interesting to see the consequences.

Much of the episode centered on the Zapatera tribe, more specifically Krista and Stephanie. Let me say this, it is easy to see why these two dummies were aligned with Rotund Russell. Clearly these girls grew up watching Laguna Beach because they act like spoiled little brats who can’t get along with other kids in the lunch room. Their tribe mate Steve sincerely wanted to welcome them back into the tribe but the girls were not having any of it and instead offered their allegiance to Rob during the Redemption Island duel. I don’t know about you, but when your alliance consists of one other person and you have five enemies, I would be as nice to my opposition as possible in an attempt to get back in their good graces. Instead, Krista continually stated that no one else was playing the game. I really think someone needed to remind her that she wasn’t either. I understand we don’t see everything that happens, but not once did I see Krista or Stephanie socializing, lying, flirting, schmoozing or doing anything to help save themselves. Lying and manipulating is part of the game, and so far this season I haven’t seen enough of it.

This brings me to the one person who is playing the game, Rob. Although I am not a huge fan of his, I do have to admit that he has complete control of the game right now. Aside from having possession of the immunity idol, he also has possession of nearly all of his tribe mates. Believe it or not, his main concern should be Phillip. Phillip is the only one who wants Rob out, but unfortunately for him he has no one on his side. It looks as though the next time Ometepe loses a challenge, Phillip will be hitting the road, which is kind of a double edged sword. On one hand, he won’t be giving the post-game pep talks and throwing spears at crabs (absolutely priceless), but on the other hand, the idea of this insane person in a duel promises for some unintentional hilarity. As for this week’s challenge, Phillip lives to see another day as his tribe was victorious, winning a basket of delicious looking doughnuts and sending Zapatera to tribal council.

At tribal council, it was very clear who was going to be voted off, either Krista or Stephanie. Before she left, Krista spoke up about possible sub-alliances in the tribe, other members not playing the game correctly and a general distaste for pretty much everyone on the show. It is really no surprise to see her go. I mean, can anyone watch this girl, listen to her talk and think “wow she really has a chance to win Survivor!” No, no one thinks that because she’s an idiot. That leaves Stephanie at the bottom of the totem pole, being the next one to leave unless something miraculous happens. Overall, this episode was lackluster and very formulaic. There was nothing shocking that occurred, as only possible future story line seeds (i.e. the uprising of Phillip and the disbanding of the Zapatera alliance) were planted. It is hard to tell whether these seeds will begin to grow, or simply wither away and die, but either way it should be interesting to watch.

Season 22, Episode 5: We Hate Our Tribe (originally aired March 16, 2011)

For more on Survivor, click here.

Don’t miss Survivor: Redemption Island Wednesdays, 8/7c on CBS.

Photographs courtesy of CBS Broadcasting, Inc.

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American Idol Review: Tonight’s Theme? Awful Pitch

This week, the show opened with all three judges and Seacrest standing in a lineup and giving us information (or, demanding in a condescending tone) on how to donate money to the earthquake/tsunami victims in Japan. You see, if you download any song performed in tonight’s episode, a portion of the proceeds will go to help victims of the tragedy. (The rest goes to support Seacrest’s body glitter and orange foundation.) And that’s great. Really. It is. I just hate it when celebrity millionaires stand up there and tell ME that I should donate to something. I already DID donate. I gave my $25, since that is all I can afford. What I want to know is this: how much did YOU give Tyler? Jackson? J.Lo? Seacrest?  And maybe you did give something, out of your own wallets and bank accounts. But I want proof. I want numbers.

Anyway, after that.we get back to normal with Seacrest’s obnoxious and obvious “THIISSSSSS ……. is American Idol!”announcement. Now let’s meet our judges: Steven “WTF am I wearing tonight?” Tyler, Jennifer “I look like I’m in a bad Whitesnake video with this outfit and crazy hair” Lopez, and Randy “I name drop people in entertainment every two minutes so that you all remember that I AM somebody!” Jackson. Then, as Seacrest makes his way down the giant staircase of doom, he tell us this weeks theme: Bad Pitch. No? That wasn’t the theme? Oh. I must have been mistaken then. I guess half of the Top 12 wasn’t TRYING to be off-pitch then. Oops. My bad.

Okay, the real theme was “Songs from the Year You Were Born.” This allowed us to get a cute look into each contestant’s childhood, their parents or family talking, and some adorable old pictures and video of them singing when they were 4. (In some cases, they haven’t improved much since then.) Let’s begin:

1. Naima Adedapo:

Year was 1984. Song choice: “What’s Love Got to do With It”. I love Naima, but Tina Turner she ain’t. Loved the strange and always eclectic look. Loved the attitude and general aura surrounding her. The awful pitch issues? Not so much. The weird arrangement? Not loving it. Randy called it “pitchy” – because he loves to use that word. And because it was pitchy.

2. Guy Smiley (Paul McDonald):

The year was 1984. The Song choice: “I Guess That’s Why They Call it the Blues” by Elton John. This was a pretty good choice for his very unusual but addicting voice. He is definitely someone that you either love or hate – and I gotta say – after watching his weirdness and his bizarre “Mcdonald dance” moves like he is about to fall off the stage – I like the guy. I’m onboard. If anything, the song was somewhat repetitive, but Tyler’s “Huh?” comment about Paul somehow made perfect sense: “You’re a cool dude in a loose mood.” Yes. That is what Paul is. I dig it.

3. Thia Meh -zzzzzzz-ia: (Thia Megia)

The Year is 1995. The song is “Colors of the Wind” by Vanessa Williams. This performance was ….. zzzzzzz … zzzzzzzz…. WHA? Wha happened? Did I fall asleep again during Thia’s performance? Dammit, why do I keep doing that? It can’t be the beige dress, or the drippy, sappy, boring melodies. Nope, can’t be that. Could it be, that, she too, was off-pitch? Nah. I would say more about this performance, but I was busy hitting myself in the face with a hammer so I didn’t have to watch it anymore.

4. James Durbin:

The Year was 1989. Song choice: Bon Jovi’s “I’ll Be There for You”. Okay, so I am beginning to think they purposely keep putting this guy smack in the middle to keep us all awake during these shows, because usually when it is his turn, it ends up being the first really good performance of the night. Once again, Durbin attacked this song with his great, strong vocals and his freestyle self. He always looks so happy to just be there, and he is a joy to listen to and watch for me. The arrangement seemed very rushed and strange, but James did well. He even challenged Steven Tyler to perform with him “in the finale” if he makes it that far, and Tyler said yes. Now that would be kind of cool.

5. Haley Reinfart:

Yeah, I’ve started calling her Haley Reinfart because she’s annoying, and fart rhymes with hart, and I can’t think of anything else that’s funnier. I am quite mature. The year of Reinfart’s birth was 1990, and her song choice was: “I’m Your Baby Tonight” by Whitney Houston. All I can really say about this performance is WTF was THAT? Seriously, what was that? What on earth was she even doing? It certainly wasn’t singing. To say she had pitch issues is putting it mildly, because the sounds coming out of her mouth didn’t even sound human to me. She sounded like she was singing from the inside of a balloon, and then she kept using this horrible baby voice thing; combined with this other horrible “trying to be sexy” thing. The worst part was when she meandered her way down to the judges table, sang to them, TRIPPED, acted like nothing happened, kept walking and looking like she was drunk, and growling at people in the most bizarre way imaginable. Then, it got even worse. When the judges were talking to her afterwards, she somehow had gotten bright red lipstick all over her teeth and on her CHIN! Who gets lipstick on their chin from singing? Then, Seacrest being Seacrest; he comes over and dabs the lipstick from her chin and teeth as she is talking on live TV. The whole thing was QUITE disturbing and really really awkward. Blech.

Stefano Langone:

The Year was 1989. The song choice: Simply Red’s “If You Don’t Know Me By Now” ….. you will never ever ever know me. NO YOU WON’T! Okay Mr. Red … stop screaming at me. I hate this song. Loathe it. Can’t stand it. That being said, Langone did a nice job with it. He has some pipes,  some great phrasing, and some nice talent. Lopez told him that with performances like that, he could be the dark horse. She then instructed him to, in the future, “look into my eyes, connect in my eyes.” Yeah. She clearly has the hots for this kid, and has forgotten all about her pointless husband. What’s his name again? Exactly.

7. Pia Toscano:

The Year was 1988. The song choice: “Where Do Broken Hearts Go” by Whitney Houston. Let us first discuss her outfit. It was white, and very odd. She looked like an astronaut with a huge camel toe. Her vocals, were, once again, on point. The arrangement made about as much sense as Randy Jackson’s judging rants. It was sort of a club/house/electric/gay-bar/remix version of the tune. It did not work. But that isn’t Pia’s fault. Her voice was beautiful, as per normal.

8. Scotty “Baby Lock Them Doors” McDreery:

Year was 1993. Song choice: “Can I Trust You With my ….” oh for the Love of God, who cares? It was yet another country song by yet another country person with a country-soundin’ name (Travis Tritt. See?) Again,  he came out in his stupid brown jacket, sat on a stool, and sang in the low-voice. At the very end, he threw in a couple notes that were a bit LESS low-voiced. Ooooohhh!!!! Big deal. It sounded like a karaoke performance at a bar that I would never in a million years hang out in. Nothing amazing, nothing awful. I understand that if I don’t love country, I won’t like him. BUT – why does he get away with doing karaoke style performances that just sound like other country artist voices? Even if you like his vocals, he doesn’t do anything you can’t already hear on a Randy Travis record. The audience, once again, went bananas for this kid. As did the judges. Then Randy went off on some name-dropping binge that lasted half of the show: “I made a record with Travis years ago … ” Okay Randy. We get it. You are the MAN! You know everyone and have worked with everyone. You are important. We understand.

9. Karen Rodriguez:

The Year was 1989. The song: Taylor Dayne’s “Love Will Lead You Back.” Well, at least she didn’t look like a newscaster this week. Nope. She looked like a martian. A martian from outer-space. I really thought she was going to break out into a B-52′s song with that outfit, which might have been cool. But why on EARTH she was wearing that, and with that ridiculous hairstyle is beyond me. And beyond earthlings. She sang the song pretty well, with some pitch issues once again. But the weird hair and outfit were so ridiculous that I could barely focus on anything else. I hope she isn’t planning an attack on our planet or anything sinister like that. Maybe that is why she keeps singing in Spanish, so she can send signals back to her planet. Karen – if you’re listening – please – take Seacrest.

10. Casey Abrams:

The Year was 1991. The song choice: “Smells Like Teen Spirit” by Nirvana. So, apparently, this was the first Nirvana song ever performed on the show. Hopefully it is also the last. Those of you reading these reviews know that I am a big Casey Abrams fan – BUT – this performance did not work for me on any level. I was actually sort of frightened of him when he was performing. It was like Seth Rogan and Animal from The Muppets had a child; and that child got a guitar and went insane. The faces he was making – and the utter screaming of the song – there was just zero nuance to the performance. I really wanted to like it. I just didn’t. The judges were mixed. Tyler seemed to love it; J. Lo looked confused; and Randy used it as yet another opportunity to tell us about how important he is: “You know, being a producer, musician, recording artist, director, and all these things that I am …. ” He actually listed all of his jobs. Somewhere in there, his point was that his favorite thing about Casey is that he is “fearless.” He takes risks. Risks don’t always pay off. I absolutely agree, and that is a huge reason I like him too. I would rather see a performance that was risky and just didn’t work, than see someone get up there week after week and do the same exact thing (Ahem … McDreary).

11. Lauren Alaina:

The Year was 1994. The song choice: Melissa Ethridge’s “I’m the Only One.” Even though Lauren had the flu and you could definitely tell her vocals were strained by it, I still felt she did well with this song. It was NOT as wonderful and perfect as the judges seemed to think; but it was better than most and not off-pitch at least. I like her a lot. Sometimes though, I feel like she is phoning it in. I always feel like I want to see about 40% more from her.

12. Jacob Lusk:

The Year was 1987. The song choice: “Alone” by Heart. Can we just give this guy the Idol winner title already? I mean … come ON. The vocals on this kid are crazy good. When he sings, it is as if he is giving birth to an alien baby. It is like he is pushing it out of his lungs and his diaphragm and everywhere. He physically releases each note, one by one. It is absolutely hilarious and sort of moving to watch actually. It is like he isn’t human when he sings. And somehow, he turned a rockin’ Heart ballad into a gospel-sounding tune. I love this guy. Tyler said: “The gospel had a baby and they named it Jacob Lusk!” Yes Steven. Go to sleep now. It’s going to be okay.

Results Show:

The show opened with short clips of each contestant saying what they wanted to be when they grew up, when they were little kids. Everyone said things like veterinarian, comedian, etc. Except Thia Megia: who said she wanted to be a singer. In that one sentence: “I wanted to sing” – she sounded so boring; I almost fell asleep again.

Seacrest then came out, and of course, had his name listed underneath his person. He reminded us once again that we should give money to Japan. And then he introduced the Top 12, who performed a weird medley of “Born to Be Wild/Born This Way” that was very Brady-Bunch-esque. I was half-expecting them to call themselves “The Silver Platters” and use the money to pay for a silver platter for mom and dad’s anniversary. (Those of you who understand that reference, I love you.)

Next up: we were forced to sit through another lameass Ford Music Video Promo with the Top 12. Kill me. And then Seacrest began his favorite part of the competition, where he gets to torture the contestants by making them guess whether or not they are staying or going home. So “dim the lights …. Here we go ….”

Seacrest first called up Jacob Lusk, Lauren Alaina, and Casey Abrams. After dragging it out a bit too long for dramatic tension … all three were safe.

Next up were Paul McDonald and Haley Reinhart. After the nationwide vote … Haley was in bottom three, Paul was safe.

In the middle of all of the results madness, we were treated to a performance by the  nice guy, former paint-salesman, boring drone Lee Dewyze. Who the hell is he? Oh that’s right. He WON the show last year. I had forgotten, because since then, he has been pretty much pointless. Lee who? He used to sell paint. Remember? They told us that in every single episode last season, right after pounding into our heads that we should vote for him because he is such a nice guy, and the nice boring white guy usually becomes the American Idol. God forbid we vote for someone who is different and takes risks up there. Anyhoo …. Lee and Thia Megia should get married and have boring drone kids that they can bore to death with their boring duets.

Back to the results. Next up was Pia Toscano, James Durbin, and McDreary. Baby Lock Them Doors, was, of course, as safe as his song choices. Pia was also safe. As was James. Woo-hoo!

Stefano Langone and Naima Adedapo were up next. After the nationwide vote … Stefano was safe; Naima was in the bottom three.

Karen Rodriguez and Thia Bore-Gia were up next on the chopping block. Thia was shockingly safe. Literally, I am shocked. Who is voting for this borefest? Karen was in the bottom three.

Since no show is complete without a trainwreck performance by the always annoying Black Eyed Peas, we were then treated to them singing a song which I do not know the title of, because I hit the fast-forward button quicker than Scotty McDreary can sing, “Baby lock them doors and turn the lights down low…..”

Dim the lights Ryan. Here we go …..

Karen Rodriguez and Haley ended up being in the bottom two; and again, shockingly, KAREN was the one who had to sing for her life, not Haley.

Karen sang Mariah Carey’s “Hero”, while the judges whispered to each other and pretended to be deciding whether or not to keep her. They, of course, did not use their one save in week two to keep Karen. They sent her packing. Randy said the decision was not unanimous, and J. Lo looked upset; which leads me to believe she was the one who voted for Karen to stay. Either way, Karen went bye-bye and is now free to be a martian newscaster in a place far, far away.  She must have been a martian, and is now being sent back to her planet. That is the only logical explanation why she would be going home over Thia or Haley. Meanwhile, we still cannot vote off Seacrest. This show really is not fair at all.

Give your Idol thoughts here!

Need more Idol? Read “Here We Are Now, Entertain Us” by Erin Biglow.

Season 10, Episodes 18-19: Finalists Compete & One Voted Off (originally aired March 16-17)

 Read more American Idol opinions here.

America’s Next Top Model Review: This Year’s Hottest New Accessory- Fire!

While America’s Next Top Model may not be the deepest show on television today, it sure is fun to watch! With a lot of needless bickering, girls face planting on inconceivable catwalks and at least one sobbing model guaranteed in every episode, it has become the true definition of a fashion-based reality show. Two weeks ago, the models were subjected to an insane photo shoot where they were covered in bees, a nightmare for any average person. This week Tyra and the crew decided to take endangering the lives of the contestants a step further by setting the runway on fire, and the models as well. A bunch of pretty girls set on fire- talk about a pyromaniac’s dream! With a little coaching from Miss J., the ladies took turns strutting their stuff down a short runway as a crazy pyrotechnic display of flames shot off behind them. As a sweet accessory to their outfits, which were designed by famous Lady Gaga costumier Geoffrey Mac, the girls all wore gloves with the palms set on fire. Luckily for them, the hand held fireballs were only about as intense as a few small tea light candles but a little freaky nonetheless. Sarah looked extremely awkward, as did a few of the other girls, but some didn’t let the idea of third degree burns bother them at all. Dalya was voted best runway performance of the night which was good. It’s about time she starts pushing her way to the forefront.

Although, the fired up runway was the most testing segment, the real challenge of the day allowed the ladies to show off their acting chops. It would have been good if any of them had any. The models were paired off and done up in 1960’s attire and then placed in a coffee commercial that was incredibly painful to watch. It was the most unnatural acting I’ve ever seen. Every scene was one big facepalm moment after another. The commercial was shot and directed by world famous photographer Francesco Carrozzini but the big name didn’t deter Alexandria from trying to micromanage the entire set. Carrozzini eventually told her to put a cork in it and get back to her crappy acting. Too many of the models talked like robots, stumbling through their lines as best they could. Yes, they are models, paid to look good not talk but, as Jay Manuel said, a top model can do it all.

Elimination time! Tyra and her panel were pretty happy overall with the models’ acting attempt but offered many useful pointers for the future. Stasia had the best performance out of all of them, and it was true. Sara did not deliver at all yet again. If there was one thing she was consistent at it was a slew of awkward shots and a huge lack of confidence. Unfortunately, this put her in the bottom two for the night with fellow competitor Alexandria. Tyra only really put Alexandria on the chopping block to scare her since she was told on by Carrozzini for her diva behavior once again. As unbearable as she is, she does take a good picture so she’s sticking around a little longer. In the end, of course, it was Sara who was sent packing. Tyra outdid herself this week and proved me wrong. Setting people on fire was way crazier than a hive of bees!

For more on this episode, check out Make It Hot Like Fire by Savannah DuBois.

Season 16, Episode 4: Francesco Carrozinni (originally aired March 16, 2011)

Experience the fashion and drama of America’s Next Top Model Wednesdays at 8/7c on The CW.

Images courtesy of Jaimie Trueblood/The CW.

So You Think You Can Dance: Eighth Season Auditions Take Final Bow In Los Angeles

Fans of the FOX smash reality competition series So You Think You Can Dance have surely marked their calendars for the eighth season premiere May 26, but for some potential contestants, their preparation began well before the show even existed. The final stop for the SYTYCD audition tour took place at the Orpheum Theater in downtown Los Angeles March 12 and 13, and this year marked another colorful round of tryouts for thousands of surefooted hopefuls, many of whom have been dancing nearly their entire lives.

Poptimal was front and center at the crack of dawn to observe a herd of jet-lagged dancers from across the country as they readied themselves for a make-or-break opportunity to showcase their talent for judges Nigel Lythgoe, Tyce Diorio and Mary Murphy, whose welcome return to the panel marks a celebration for her recent victory over thyroid cancer.

Murphy told Poptimal her brief absence from the show was essential in order for her to properly address her health, but she’s thrilled to return to a reliably comforting work environment after such a tumultuous year.

“Coming back, it’s like coming home again,” Murphy said. “All the characters are still in place, all the crew is still here. It was like … I was never really gone, to be honest with you. It was really more like a dream sequence or something.”

Despite Danceadhering to its winning formula for the most part, last season’s experimental turn in reducing the number of finalists down to a minimal Top 10 resulted in a chilly response from viewers. At the L.A. auditions, judge and executive producer Lythgoe confirmed season eight’s subsequent return to a Top 20 format, as well as the integration of another set of yet-to-be-determined “All-Stars” to partner the eventual Top 10. When asked if fan favorite Alex Wong (whose Achilles tendon injury cut short his season seven tenure) would be a potential All-Star this year, Lythgoe gave a much-anticipated progress report on Wong’s recovery.

“Alex is about 80% back to full fitness, so far,” Lythgoe reported. “That’s really great news. Hopefully Alex will be back … We’ll have to wait and see.”

Regarding the alarming number of injuries season seven accrued, Lythgoe assured reporters that such unfortunate incidents are simply an occupational hazard most dancers will experience at one point or another in their careers.

“I didn’t think there were a great many injuries last season. I think we had dramaticinjuries last season, and certainly in Alex Wong,” Lythgoe said. “But, cracked ribs, broken toes, is a dancer’s life.”

Lythgoe added that although the All-Star lineup hasn’t been decided yet, there is already a strategy in place to help narrow the field as the competition progresses.

“I don’t know who they’re going to be yet, but I want to make sure we complement the dancers that are in the Top 10,” Lythgoe said. “So, if we’ve got a lot of hip-hop dancers in the Top 10, we’ll bring more classical in. If we’ve got [more] classical, we’ll bring more hip-hop, just to push them in other areas.”

Mixing genres of dance is an aspect of the show that has proved successful, in both exposing viewers to areas of the art virtually unknown beforehand, and helping contestants hone their craft in a broader fashion. Host Cat Deeleytold Poptimal this wasn’t necessarily the initial goal of SYTYCD, but rather a welcome by-product of the show that its producers, and contestants, have wholly embraced.

“They’ve been really mixing it up,” Deeley said while shivering outside the Orpheum, as throngs of dancers eagerly awaited entry into the theater. “They’ve been combining the genres a lot, actually, whereas before it was very much kind of specifically one style … it’s more surprising and more creative.”

Co-executive producer Jeff Thacker, also amidst the anxious L.A. crowd, noted how some contestants introduce subcultures of dance that actually help richen the show’s artistic diversity and would never otherwise pop up on the SYTYCDradar. Thacker explained why exhibiting a variety of dances specific to particular cultures is crucial to the current and future viewership of the show.

“We’re looking very much into a cultural thing, because America is a huge, huge country with a lot of different cultures in it,” Thacker began. “So, we do like to reflect that, and we like to reflect those styles that are popular and the new styles that come in. These kids bring new stuff in all the time to us, so even the genres change slightly every year.”

Despite the expanding boundaries of artistic style SYTYCD has experienced over its seven seasons, judges and producers alike agree their criteria for finding ideal contestants has remained intact, yet consistently difficult to define.

“It’s a balancing act, it’s a juggling act, it’s star quality, it’s confidence, it’s an inner fire,” said in-house choreographer Diorio, who sat on the judging panel for the March 13 auditions. “It’s an inner knowing of who you are, in a roundabout way.”

Thacker explained how strong skills and natural talent doesn’t guarantee a dancer success on the show. In fact, he affirmed, personality does go a long way.

“We never look for the best dancer, because we don’t think that exists. So, we’re looking for a favorite dancer,” Thacker said. “It’s not just about the technique … it’s about your personality and your character, so there’s a mixture there. So, we always say even though we call these ‘auditions,’ we cast them.”

Contestants have become all too aware of their need to present camera-ready charm for the judges, along with technical prowess. Kevin Ahern was among the first dancers in line Saturday morning, and he told Poptimal how he planned to alter his approach to showcase his personality better than his first two auditions.

“I have a tendency of over-thinking myself when I’m in the audition process,” Ahern admitted “So, this time it’s just been a lot of reminding myself to really be me, and just, like, go out and have fun and not really over-think, like, ‘Oh, I wish I would have done this move,’ and [instead] just be like, ‘You know, I just gotta feel the music and just have a good time.”

Contemporary ballet dancer Ben Dorado was in L.A. auditioning for a second time, and he, too, wisely prepared for both a dance audition and a casting call.

“I auditioned in L.A. last year, and they told me to come back and show them my personality more, because they said I have great technique, but they said they just wanted to see a little more of me,” Dorado said, before explaining the simple logic he used when preparing for his audition this year. “I chose a different piece that expresses myself a little more and I’m just going to make sure I connect with the judges and the audience a lot more when I dance.”

An expressive Deeley admitted the contestants aren’t the only ones who get nervous before tryouts. Despite her years of experience on the show, Deeley discussed how her pre-audition fears are consistently defied season after season.

“I always start the beginning of the audition tour with a little bit of trepidation, because you remember the dancers from the previous season at the end of the show, which, of course, it’s not a fair comparison, to compare people here at auditions with the dancers at the end of the show after they’ve been through the whole process,” Deeley admitted. “But every single time we come out you always go, ‘Is there going to be good talent? Are they going to bring their personalities? Are we going to find more people?’ And then we start doing the first one and it’s like, ‘[Sighs] Oh yeah, we’re fine, whew!’”

Can’t wait to see which dancers calmed Deeley’s nerves? Don’t miss the eighth season premiere of So You Think You Can Dance Thursday, May 26 at 8/7c on FOX.

Read more on So You Think You Can Dance here.
Photos courtesy of Keith Kuramoto and Lauren Tyree. Copyright Poptimal.com 2011

Pictures From Both Days

Our Writer Erin Biglow Interviewing Cat Deeley, Host Of SYTYCD Our Writer Erin Biglow Interviewing Cat Deeley, Host Of SYTYCD	So You Think You Can Dance Contestants Waiting To Audition Outside The Orpheum So You Think You Can Dance Contestants Waiting To Audition Outside The Orpheum	So You Think You Can Dance Contestants Waiting To Audition Outside The Orpheum So You Think You Can Dance Contestants Waiting To Audition Outside The Orpheum
So You Think You Can Dance Contestants Waiting To Audition Outside The Orpheum So You Think You Can Dance Contestants Waiting To Audition Outside The Orpheum	So You Think You Can Dance Host & British Hottie Cat Deeley So You Think You Can Dance Host & British Hottie Cat Deeley	Our Writer Erin Biglow Interviewing Cat Deeley, Host Of SYTYCD (LA Auditions) Our Writer Erin Biglow Interviewing Cat Deeley, Host Of SYTYCD (LA Auditions)
Cat Deeley, Host SYTYCD (LA Auditions) Cat Deeley, Host SYTYCD (LA Auditions)	Judge Nigel Lythgoe Hams It Up For The Press. Judge Nigel Lythgoe Hams It Up For The Press.	Judge Nigel Lythgoe Talks About New Changes In A New Season Of So You Think You Can Dance. Judge Nigel Lythgoe Talks About New Changes In A New Season Of So You Think You Can Dance.
Mary Murphy, Bubbly & Energetic As Ever To Be Returning As A Judge. Mary Murphy, Bubbly & Energetic As Ever To Be Returning As A Judge.	So You Think You Can Dance judge Tyce Diorio talks to Poptimal.com So You Think You Can Dance judge Tyce Diorio talks to Poptimal.com	So You Think You Can Dance Judge Tyce Diorio Talks To Poptimal.com Jr. Editor Erin Biglow So You Think You Can Dance Judge Tyce Diorio Talks To Poptimal.com Jr. Editor Erin Biglow
SYTYCD co-executive producer Jeff Thacker Spilling The Beans About This Season With Poptimal.com Jr. Editor Erin Biglow SYTYCD co-executive producer Jeff Thacker Spilling The Beans About This Season With Poptimal.com Jr. Editor Erin Biglow	Co-Executive Producer for SYTYCD Jeff Thacker talks with Poptimal.com's Erin Biglow outside the Orpheum theater in Los Angeles. Co-Executive Producer for SYTYCD Jeff Thacker talks with Poptimal.com's Erin Biglow outside the Orpheum theater in Los Angeles.	SYTYCD Contestants (LA Auditions) SYTYCD Contestants (LA Auditions)
SYTYCD Contestant (LA Auditions) SYTYCD Contestant (LA Auditions)	SYTYCD Contestant (LA Auditions) SYTYCD Contestant (LA Auditions)	SYTYCD Contestants (LA Auditions) SYTYCD Contestants (LA Auditions)
SYTYCD Contestants (LA Auditions) SYTYCD Contestants (LA Auditions)	SYTYCD Contestants (LA Auditions) SYTYCD Contestants (LA Auditions)	SYTYCD Contestants (LA Auditions) SYTYCD Contestants (LA Auditions)
SYTYCD Contestants (LA Auditions) SYTYCD Contestants (LA Auditions)	Cat Deeley Warming Up The Contestants At The LA Audition of SYTYCD Cat Deeley Warming Up The Contestants At The LA Audition of SYTYCD	SYTYCD Contestants (LA Auditions) SYTYCD Contestants (LA Auditions)
SYTYCD Contestants Rushing Past Host Cat Deeley And Into The Auditorium SYTYCD Contestants Rushing Past Host Cat Deeley And Into The Auditorium	SYTYCD Contestant SYTYCD Contestant	SYTYCD Contestants (LA Auditions) SYTYCD Contestants (LA Auditions)
SYTYCD Contestants (LA Auditions) SYTYCD Contestants (LA Auditions)

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