American Idol Review: A Shocking Elimination Leaves Idol Gently Weeping

As the road to American Idol’s tenth season finale grows narrower by the week, the show’s perpetual dips into credibility-defying ploys for ratings match its shamelessly entertaining peaks of glorious fluff, note for note. This week’s installment showcased the best of both worlds, as the Top Nine all trotted out acceptable-to-great performances of songs from the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. The widened genre certainly gave the Idols more opportunity to fine-tune their song choices, as opposed to being stuck with the limited catalog of one particular artist. Even Seacrest is ready to rock out, leading the contestants onstage in a conga line of enthusiasm to kick off Wednesday’s performance episode. “Whaddya get when you mix the most infectious music in the world with the most dynamic singers in the nation?” Seacrest asks mid-jig. “A ROCKin’ party we’re ready to ROLL out for ya!” Groan. While some Idols arguably proved themselves a bit more dynamic than others, the overall lack of onstage disaster prompted truly curious queries as to who would be on the chopping block next. What ensued will likely go down as one of the most shocking eliminations in Idol history, and possibly give the judges a reason to regret saving Casey two weeks ago. As if this kid needs another ulcer! Break out your lighters, readers, and get ready to rock.

Also invited to the party this week is impromptu wardrobe stylist Gwen Stefani, on hand to prove once and for all that no one but Gwen Stefani can wear Gwen Stefani’s clothes and look fit to leave the house. Someone also must have gotten the memo that no one between Los Angeles and New York knows who Jimmy Iovine is, and decided to bring in a recognizable name to help assist in the mentorship department. Unfortunately, said assistant arrives in the form of the omnipresent will.i.am., whom I’m beginning to imagine lives among the rafters of the Idol studio for sake of convenience.

Steven Tyler narrates a guided tour through the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame museum and the history of the genre itself, taking the time to enjoy a moment or two of cheeky self-adoration. As he pauses to smooch a sculpted likeness of his own head, Tyler quips, “That’s the second-prettiest bust I’ve kissed all day!” Heh.

I never expected Jacob Lusk to match Tyler-worthy levels of irreverence, but I’m admittedly surprised when he expresses discomfort toward singing Marvin Gaye’s classic “Let’s Get it On” because of its sexual explicitness. He instead switches to Michael Jackson’s “Man in the Mirror,” a song whose message resonates more closely with his own value system. I have zero problem with Jacob’s testimony, and actually applaud his conviction to reject a song he isn’t comfortable with. However, when he offers the sanctimonious theory that, should he end up in the bottom three, his fate wouldn’t be due to a poor performance but rather voters’ inability to “look themselves in the mirror,” I wince a bit. Beware of the self-fulfilling prophecy, Lusky Stank. Luckily, his rendition of the song is predictably solid and more upbeat than Jacob’s ever been, as he tones down the melodrama and theatrics for a more straightforward approach than he’s offered in the past. As for his stage persona, Lusky sure has pretty intense pelvic thrusts for someone so adverse to sexual innuendo. Tyler makes up some nonsense about “Mirror” being “the finest song that’s ever been written,” while J. Lo congratulates Jacob on being “true” to himself and “perfect in every emotional way.” Randy, meanwhile, is happy to have found the “Jacob spot” he was looking for all season long.

Haley Reinhart has taken note of the context clues in the judges’ critiques of her all season long, and shrewdly picks up on the fact they really want her to sound like Janis Joplin. “You want Janis?” she playfully asks. “I’ll give it to you.” Unfortunately, her rendition of “Piece of my Heart” lacks any evidence that she understands what the song is about as she proceeds to smile like a cheerleader throughout its entirety, all but ignoring the raw emotion behind the lyrics. Arbitrary growls do not a tortured soul make, Haley. Despite this, I actually like Haley more and more each week and am rooting for her to learn the art of control regarding her amazing range. J. Lo thinks Haley is “a bit of a contender,” while Randy offers a cheerful, if unnecessary, “Welcome back!” Tyler, meanwhile, “couldn’t find nothin’ wrong” with Haley’s performance. Imagine that.

Casey Abrams finally stages the triumphant return of his upright bass this week, the instrument he’s been most closely associated with during his Idol tenure. Much like his version of Elton John’s “Your Song” last week, Casey’s rendition of CCR’s “Have You Ever Seen the Rain” is understated and relatively minimalist, and I can practically see Casey stifling his scowl-prone facial muscles as he sings. While he has yet to hit “Georgia” levels of greatness thus far in the finals, Casey has wisely steered himself away from the alienating “Smells Like Teen Spirit” phase that only succeeded in confusing even his most ardent followers. This week, it’s clear Casey’s officially back on track. Randy, always keen on reminding us he also slaps da bass, is thrilled about Casey making the upright bass “cool” in popular music. Tyler admires Casey’s true musicianship, while J. Lo says she’s ready to pay “top dollar” for front row seats at a Casey Abrams show. Funny, at this moment she’s actually getting paid top dollar to sit precisely there.

Lauren Alaina certainly got the short end of the wardrobe stick this week, as she’s forced to perform “Natural Woman” while wearing an ill-fitting gingham bustier-and-shorts set. Sorry, Gwen. Covering up this monstrosity with a blazer and Carrie Underwood “Alone”-era hair provides zero help, but luckily for Lauren, her voice this week is like buttah and almost forgives the sartorial sins. Iovine and will.i.am. pontificate on the greatness of marrying soul music with country, punctuating their brilliance by coining the term “countroul.” Yeah, I’m sure that’s just sweeping the industry. Lauren’s version of the classic doesn’t match the greatness of Kelly Clarkson’s or Crystal Bowersox’s, but is a valiant effort in spite of her youth and that godforsaken giggle she spews at the end of every performance. Tee hee. Although Randy “isn’t jumping up and down” over the performance, J. Lo barely gets a word in aside from “amazing.” Tyler, apparently, needed no convincing that jailbait Lauren is indeed a natural woman. Gross.

After weeks of consecutive arena-ready crowd-pleasers, James Durbin decides to turn the tables and slow things down, just in time for Rock and Roll week. George Harrison’s “While My Guitar Gently Weeps” is a song James himself has worked on for five years and developed a connection with, and it shows. Iovine expresses concern for a lack of energy that a ballad will offer this week, given the theme, and says such an occurrence would be more like “My Guitar Gently Sleeps.” Groan. I initially detect a rough start from James, but he quickly finds his footing and ends on a glorious note, both literally and figuratively, as he, well, gently weeps while finishing the song. The pun is unavoidable, people. It was smart on James’ part to choose a slower song within a traditionally uptempo genre, although I can’t help but imagine how Glambert would have eviscerated this song in comparison. J. Lo launches into a diatribe about how “special” it is to watch James enter “another dimension” of performance bravado. Tyler deems James’ efforts as “a proud moment,” while Randy applauds his ability to take chances as an artist.

Scotty McCreery continues to prove he’s the frontrunner of this competition by choosing a song that manages to both allow him to step outside his comfort zone and play to his strengths as a country crooner. Elvis Presley’s “That’s All Right Mama” couldn’t have been a more perfect tune, and evidence of Scotty’s childhood fixation on The King is just icing on this shrewdly manipulated cake. Scotty’s ability to poke fun of himself on stage while having fun on stage, complete with awkward microphone handling, jerky hip swivels and raised-eyebrow smirks, has the crowd and judges eating out of his hand. He doesn’t sound half bad, either. The obvious stunt of having a gaggle of groupies bum-rush the stage at the end is pure overkill, but Scotty’s playing this game like a violin and is undoubtedly the Idol to beat. Somewhere backstage, Durbin’s guitar is gently weeping. Randy deems Scotty a former one-trick-pony who’s proved his naysayers wrong. Tyler agrees, saying Scotty used to come across as “all hat and no cattle,” but successfully “brought Elvis in the building.” J. Lo teases him for his rap star hand gestures, suggesting Scotty has “a bit of flavor” in him after all. Scotty is hilariously quick to remind her he is, after all, part Puerto Rican.

Pia Toscano is hell-bent on convincing viewers she’s ready to unleash a “walk on the wild side” and deliver a high-energy performance of Tina Turner’s “River Deep – Mountain High” that leaves her trademark ballads in the dust. The song is surely livelier than her usual choices, but aside from taking a casual stroll around the judges’ table, Pia offers the same crowning pageantry she always does. Her voice is spot on and she looks gorgeous (Gwen’s billowing onesie notwithstanding), but Pia has yet to truly let loose and perform, keeping her stifled in the pretty-girl-with-pipes category. At this point, I’d even settle for a Haley-esque arm flail. Instead, Pia looks primed to give a Miss America wave. Randy notes Pia’s need to work on her movement, but he’s probably never put on a pair of six-inch stilettos…that we know of. J. Lo tells Pia to keep researching the tactics of great performers and cites Michael Jackson’s strategy of studying Gene Kelly and Fred Astaire to give her an idea of how to approach the assignment. That’s pretty astute advice, I must say. The ever-helpful Tyler theorizes how “millions of guys in millions of bars are having millions of drinks” about Pia. Unfortunately, that probably means they aren’t voting for her.

Stefano is excited to finally sing a song he knows, Percy Sledge’s “When a Man Loves a Woman.” For all the flak Pia gets for singing ballads, I’m surprised no one has told Stefano to take it up a notch. Granted, he does bounce around the stage enough to make up for his rather snoozy taste, but also has the advantage of wearing flats. Will.i.am continues to baffle me with his nonsensical performance tips, and Stefano’s blank stare in response seems to echo my thoughts exactly. Little Stefano sure does work his ass off up there and is just as cute as a button, but is simply so gosh-darn chirpy and shrill I feel like he’d be better off auditioning for Glee than Idol. J. Lo gets a bit shrill herself in her lavish praise for Stefano, shrieking, “Baby, baby baby!” to a cringe-worthy degree, before complimenting him on exhibiting “another layer of emotion” as though he were singing about or to someone specific. Randy notes a “jerky” start and advises Stefano to take his time and let certain notes “marinate.” Tyler mumbles faint, mildly coherent support of Stefano’s passion and range.

Paul McDonald has the same can’t-stop-smiling syndrome that Haley does, evident in the persistent presence of his pearly whites throughout the feel-good classic “Folsom Prison Blues.” One would think such a lyric as “I shot a man in Reno just to watch him die” would provide enough evidence of the song’s dark connotations with morality and guilt, but Paul proves himself Johnny Cash’s antithesis and turns the song into a hootin’-and-hollerin’ good time at the local watering hole. The disparity between the song’s message and the yee-haw energy of Paul’s performance is undeniable, but I shamelessly enjoyed every minute of it and was pleasantly surprised to hear Paul actually express genuine tone in his voice at an audible decibel level. Iovine and will.i.am had advised Paul to “Jerry Lee Lewis” his stage persona and “sing it like you’re out of your f—ing mind.” Finally, these two wring a successful performance out of their garbled gibberish. Randy has only three words: “I LOVED IT!” J. Lo agrees, and tells Paul his performance was “right in your lane,” while Tyler marvels at his “perfect imperfect boy.” Seacrest is so tickled, he begins his own impromptu hoedown, do-si-do-ing with Paul while replaying snippets of the evening’s performances. I wonder if the Man in Black himself is tapping his toe, wherever he is. Eh, probably not.

Thursday’s results show kept the rock right on rolling, with performances from Idol alum and Rock of Ages Tony nominee Constantine Maroulis, and iconic punk frontman Iggy Pop. Yes, Iggy Pop. Look it up, kids. The 63-year-old (!) arrives sans shirt to perform “Wild One” and proceeds to terrify the clueless girlies in the audience clamoring for a glimpse at Scotty. Seacrest, however, is inspired to cut carbs. The entire scenario is bizarrely hilarious, and definitively not Idol-friendly. I’m lovin’ it. As for Maroulis, his incessant lens leering tendencies remain as present as ever. His guitar, apparently, gently creeps. Ick.

Later, The Idols’ group medley is decidedly awful, as is the equally uninspiring Ford music video. Yawn. Onwards!

We’re told a surprise “charisma coach” will arrive to give the Idols tips on stage presence. If it’s will.i.am, I might scream out loud. Nope! It’s British comedian Russell Brand, who conveniently has a new movie to promote. Brand is a dynamite stand-up, but has failed to find the right project to parlay his talents toward stardom in the States. This Idol segment, sadly, does not help one little bit.

The succubi over at TMZ pretend to help the Idols with “media training,” but it quickly devolves into a low-balling series of stale insults unworthy of even the lamest Comedy Central roast. One idiot tries to make fun of James’ genuinely adorable reaction to Hulk Hogan’s cameo a few weeks ago, to which James makes fun of the guy’s disheveled appearance.

“Dude! You look like you’re in Staind, dude!” the guy retorts back.

“At least I’m in something,” lobbed James.

ZING!

In the midst of all this mindless madness, Seacrest manages to intermittently announce a result or two. The first trio of Idols to hit the seal is Casey, Stefano and Lauren, with Stefano predictably headed to the Stools of Doom.

Next, Paul, Pia and Scotty line up next to Seacrest. Scotty’s in like Flynn, of course, leaving Paul and Pia to duke it out for safety. Paul’s strangely triumphant performance the previous night scored him more votes than Pia this week, and the judges are visibly disturbed to see Pia head to the bottom three for the first time this season.

Finally, James, Haley and Jacob make their way to center stage, and Seacrest announces Jacob as the third member of this week’s Lonely Hearts Club. While I’m not surprised to see Jacob here given his pre-performance remark, the judges look downright pouty and on the brink of a collective tantrum.

Once Jacob is the first Idol released back to safety, it seems like a no-brainer that Stefano’s time would be up. However, something is immediately amiss even before Seacrest makes the official announcement. I entertain the seemingly impossible notion that Pia could get sent home, and then…it actually happens. First, there’s silence. Then, there’s anger. Finally, there’s tears. The most heart-wrenching moment of the entire sequence is hearing Pia’s choking sobs once her swan song performance of “I’ll Stand By You” is over and she buries her face into the nearest shoulder available. Must her mic have been left on? Classy move, sound guys. While I never imagined Pia winning the title, her vocal talent surpasses several other contestants, especially Stefano, and her shocking boot has already ignited a firestorm of protest from Idol fans. Frankly, I’ve never imagined Casey winning, either, and it’s possible the judges would have rather kept Pia if given the choice. But fret not, Pia fans! She simply joins the ranks of Jennifer Hudson, Chris Daughtry and Adam Lambert as favored Idols of yore with successful careers and nary a winning title among them.

Do you think the uproar over Pia’s elimination is warranted? Would she have just ended up singing on a cruise ship anyway, whether she’d come in 9^th or in 4^th? Was saving Casey a waste after all? Weren’t those TMZ people just hideous? Discuss!

For more on this week’s episodes, check out Rock ‘n Roll Hall of Fame Week Provides a Fresh New Sound by Kelley Lynn.

Season 10, Episodes 24-25: Top 9 Perform and One voted off (originally aired April 6-April 7, 2011)

For more American Idol coverage, click here.

Don’t miss American Idol Wednesdays and Thursdays, 8/7c on FOX.

Photographs courtesy of Michael Becker, Frank Micelotta, and Fox.

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