American Idol Review: Rock ‘n Roll Hall of Fame Week Provides a Fresh New Sound

From the first opening seconds of this week’s American Idol, when Seacrest danced out onto the stage with the Top 9 contestants bopping out behind him, it was clear that there was a fresh, new energy emerging. Whether it was the “Rock and Roll Hall of Fame” theme, the presence of Gwen Stefani (who was randomly in charge of styling the ladies look this week, while the men were told to take a trip to Walmart, I guess), or the absence of Thia Bore-Gia; (Hey! Did you know she was the youngest contestant on the show?) the theme of the week seemed to come back to one word: FUN!

After Seacrest danced out onto the stage for his intro, the judges were announced next, coming out from behind the Idol wall in true music video fashion: Steven “I am slowly morphing into looking like someone’s Great Aunt Sheila” Tyler, Randy “every cheesy pop band from the 1980′s called and wants their outfits back” Jackson, and Jennifer “would the two of you tools please stop gawking at my great ass” Lopez.

Up next: Steven Tyler walked us through the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Museum, showing some pretty cool stuff along the way.  After this, the question: “What’s more annoying than Interscope’s Jimmy Iovine mentoring the contestants?” was answered. The answer, of course, is: “Jimmy Iovine WITH will.i.am!” Yes; douche.i.am made his return once again, since it has been a whole 15 seconds since he has graced us with his presence. Freakin wonderful! thrilled.i.am. (Can you sense the sarcasm, people?)

Since we got rid of two contestants for the price of one last week, that left us with a Top 9 to perform some of music’s greatest songs ever. I have to say upfront that this was one of those weeks where almost every performance was good to excellent. I even found myself enjoying the people that I do not normally enjoy this week. Let us get right to the good stuff ….

1. Jacob Lusk:

Originally doing a song by Marvin Gaye, Lusk changed his song midway through the rehearsal process with pompous.i.am and Iovine ,to Michael Jackson’s “Man In the Mirror.” The reason? He felt like the Gaye song, although amazing, wasn’t him at all. This was a great decision, as his emotion and raw voice once again stood out in this great performance. I always know a performance is great when an artist can make me enjoy a song that I absolutely hate. That happened here. Jacob was so good, that I almost feel bad pointing out that in his all white suit, he resembled a giant singing marshmallow. Almost.

2. Haley Reinfart:

Since the judges, week after week, continued to compare Reinfart to the great Janis Joplin (undeservedly, I think), she decided to give them some Janis, “Piece of My Heart.” After last week’s fantastic performance by Haley, this week, it was back to the annoying, growly, all over the place, messy stylings of Reinfart. This song is about pain. It is raw, and digs deep. This chick was smiling all through it, and doing her insipid “put your hands in the air like you don’t care” move that drives me nuts. She once again had that look in her eye like she might fall off the stage at any given moment, or pee her pants. Does she have bones in her body? Because it looks as if she is “human Jello” to me, like a ragdoll. I bet when she sleeps, she falls out of the bed at least 7 times per night. The judges seemed to love this performance. I did not. I just couldn’t get Janis out of my head, and she ain’t no Janis.

3. Casey Abrams:

As soon as I saw him standing next to that upright bass, I knew I would love this performance. Abrams has been my favorite since day one for many reasons, but one of those reasons is that he is a true musician, not just a singer. He plays several instruments well, he sings, he performs, and he has soul. Real soul. He is also lovable in the same way that Fozzy the Bear is lovable. Whenever I see him living through his songs, I just want to hug him and squeeze him and call him George. The song choice of Creedence Clearwater’s “Have You Ever Seen the Rain” was perfection for his voice and style. This was an excellent performance. I really would love to see this guy win the whole show. Remember his insanely genuine over the top reaction to getting the save? Can you imagine his reaction to WINNING THE SHOW? It would be an amazing, emotional moment. Seriously, could he be any more adorable?

4. Lauren Alaina:

When singing a classic, soulful Aretha Franklin song such as “(You Make Me Feel Like) A Natural Woman”, it is very important that you dress and look like the early 1980′s “Lucky Star” version of Madonna, complete with an armful of silvery bracelets, strangely big hair, and glossy over the top makeup. This MUST have been what Gwen Stefani was thinking when she dressed Alaina in this bizarre outfit, because otherwise it simply makes no sense at all. As for Lauren’s singing, it was awesome. I could listen to her voice for days. When she talks, I am sometimes not all that nuts about her and want her to stop speaking because she is either pretending to be as dumb as an eraser, or she IS as dumb as an eraser.  But as soon as she starts singing, I fall in love with her again. Steven Tyler said that Lauren “came in here as a little girl, and now you’re a natural woman.” CREE-PY!

5. James Durbin:

This dude has some big ears. I never noticed this before. Perhaps it was the way the light hit his earlobes as he sat on that stool, but Durbin’s ears protrude out of his head pretty darn far. He looks like Baby New Year. Once I got over this fact, I began to listen to his beautiful, understated version of George Harrison’s “While My Guitar Gently Weeps.” This was a different, new James than we are used to seeing. Simple, lovely, and emotional. He was gently weeping as well (you knew that lame pun was coming) and you could completely feel his emotions on this one. Really nice performance.

6. Scotty “Baby Lock Them Doors” McDreary:

I will never like this guy. There are just too many things about him that drive me up the wall. He seems like an over the top cartoon to me. However, if there was ever a week and a performance of his that I can truly say I enjoyed, it was this one. This will be the one I look back on (other than his duet with Lauren Alaina during the results show last week, which I thought was gorgeous) as the one time he “got me.” Scotty chose his childhood idol, Elvis Presley. The song is one of my favorites: “That’s Alright Momma.” It has a definite rock and blues feel to it. Here I was getting all set up to hate his stupid, predictable, country version … and then he surprised me. He actually sang the song as it was intended. I couldn’t believe it. I was stunned. He got up off of his dumb stool and he rocked it out. Well, as much as McDreary is capable of rocking out, that is. The vocals were great, and the performance was great because he FINALLY took a bit of a risk and had a slightly different sound. Even so, he still looked like a cross between Alfred E. Neuman and George W. Bush, and his endless cheesy mugging into the camera, along with the silly way he holds the microphone and sings out of the side of his mouth, were enough to nauseate me back into reality. One more thing: what the hell was wrong with his arm? He ran around that stage singing that song in the strangest manner, with his arm all bent into his chest as if he was wearing a sling. The gaggle of screaming girls rushing the stage at the end was over the top predictable cheese. Gag.

7. Pia Toscano:

Another horrible outfit by Gwen Stefani here; Pia looked like Kim Kardashian wearing a zebra-striped diaper. And a collar. Very odd. Despite this travesty in fashion, Pia finally strayed away from her safe, predictable ballads, and instead took on the classic Tina Turner song “River Deep, Mountain High.” Although Pia does NOT have the grit, emotional courage, or soul to pull off the pain and complexities of this tune, she once again showed off her killer chops and perfect tone. Definitely my favorite Pia performance so far. Even so, nobody does that one like Tina.

8. Stefano Langone:

Although this performance  of Percy Sledge’s “When A Man Loves A Woman” gave J.Lo “goosepimples” (everyone else on earth gets goosebumps – what the hell is a goosepimple?), I was more on the fence about it. There were a few short moments of beauty and perfection, and even some soul. However, there were also a few too many moments of feeling like I’m watching the closing number in an off-Broadway musical. You know it’s bad when I start noticing odd things about his face, like his ginormous nostrils and his pouty, full lips. I think I am just over this guy and ready for him to go home now. Randy told him to “marinate” in the notes more, J.Lo got all excited and practically had an orgasm, referring to him as “baby” as she signed divorce papers underneath the desk to get rid of that drone Marc Anthony, and Steven Tyler mumbled some nonsense about pirates and apple pie, and then fell asleep.

9. Paul McDonald:

The best way to describe this performance is “absolutely hilarious.” First of all, never in a million years would I think that Paul McDonald would ever choose a Johnny Cash song to perform. Their voices and styles could NOT be any more different, so just the very idea of that  happening is already funny. The fact that he sang “Folsom Prison Blues” as a sort of jammin, square-dancin, Riverdancin, Irish-jig, knee-slappin, party all the time melody, made it go from funny to hysterical. Also, the original song is A. in a much lower register obviously, and B. much slower. This sounded like Johnny Cash on speed. Even more, it was like “Alvin and the Chipmunks Sing the Songs of Johny Cash.” He looked like a Muppet, singing and jamming on his guitar with his Muppet band. And the oddest thing about all of this? I LOVED EVERY SECOND OF IT! How could you not? The whole thing was so strange and fun, you couldn’t help but start toe-tapping to the crazy beat.

Paul’s performance was so addicting and silly, that when Seacrest came out to review the voting numbers for each contestant one more time, he “sang” them, as he danced and frolicked to Paul’s wacky melody. Eventually, the entire cast of contestants joined them onstage, where everyone danced and laughed and had a good old-fashioned ho-down. This show was a blast, and I think drugs were involved.

Results Show:

Secrest came down the stairs with his confident smile, and told us immediately that the results “could be” shocking this evening. Translation? They probably are not. After that, a rock medley performed by the Top 9 contestants included an annoying version of “I Love Rock N Roll” combined with a cheesy “Sweet Home Alabama”. Then came the ever-so obnoxious Ford Music Video that they continously force us to sit through. At this point, even the contestants look embarassed after they show those horrible videos. Yuck.

Russell Brand randomly showed up to mentor the cast on stage presence and personality. (Gee, you think his real motive was to promote Arthur? Nah. I’m sure it’s just a coincidence.) A pretty lame comedy bit followed where Brand worked with the contestants and tried way too hard to be funny. It was pretty blah.

And then, finally, Seacrest called out Casey, Stefano, and Lauren as his first group of victims to annoy and torture. After his usual cry of: “Dim the lights; here we go …..,” Stefano was in the bottom three.

After this, we were treated to a cover of “Unchained Melody” by the unbelievably annoying, mugging to the camera, former Idol contestant Constantine Maroulis, who did his usual mugging to the camera like some sort of supermodel.  Awkward banter between him and Seacrest followed, along with some plugs for his lame show “Rock of Ages.” I have not missed this tool.

Next up on Ryan’s torture tour was Pia, Scotty, and Paul. After the nationwide vote, Scotty was safe (because he’s going to win the show – DUH!), Paul was safe, and Pia was in the bottom three.

A pointless bit with the contestants and TMZ followed, which was completely and utterly dumb and not funny. Just get to the damn results already!!! Stop trying to be comedians!

Next up was Jacob, Haley, and James. It was Jacob who was in the bottom three. JACOB!!! What is this world coming to? Jacob???!!! Really???

So, the bottom three was Jacob (Jacob???), Pia, and Stefano.

To take us away from the shock of Pia and Jacob being in the bottom three, Idol then shocked us even more by bringing out a shirtless Iggy Pop to perform his hit “Wild One.” More shocking than THAT was J. Lo’s balloon 1980′s parachute pants. What the hell? Some things are simply unexplainable.

And finally ….. the results.

Seacrest pulled another one of his mean, torturous drama acts when he told Jacob he was leaving … “to safety.” And then the true shock came, when Stefano was also called to safety, and Pia was sent home. J.Lo was angry, Tyler seemed lost and confused and didn’t know where he was, and Randy was upset that he was no longer relevant in the music industry. Pia then sang “I’ll Stand By You” to close out the show and say goodbye, and FINALLY, she had that emotion in her voice that I have been waiting to hear all this time. Sadly, it was too late to save her. Don’t be too sad for Pia though folks. I am 100% sure that she will go on to make Celine Dion-like, beautiful albums for years to come. She has too much talent not to.

For more on this week’s episodes, check out A Shocking Elimination Leaves Idol Gently Weeping by Erin Biglow.

Season 10, Episodes 24-25: Top 9 Perform and One voted off (originally aired April 6-April 7, 2011)

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