Top Chef Masters Review: The Biggest Losers Are Ready To Eat

The Biggest Loser came to play with Top Chef Masters this week. Two of my favorite reality shows coming together, combining like peanut butter and jelly and hopefully not like pickles and pudding.

Before the biggest losers show up the chefs have a Quickfire Challenge! Curtis Stone shows off a table full of high-end cheeses and I start to salivate. The challenge is to create a cheese dish…in 12 minutes. I have daydreams that last longer than 12 minutes. But the masters of the cooking universe are up to the task.

Norbert (Norbert?) Wabnig from the Cheese Store of  Beverly Hills is understandably judging this challenge. This guy seems to know his cheese. Floyd’s corn on the cob and George’s onion and grana padano gratin weren’t up to Norberts standards. The favorite dishes were Naomi’s skirt steak (I’m telling you, she’s a front runner) and Traci’s carpaccio. Traci wins $5,000 for her charity and immunity. Floyd complains because he has now become “that guy who gets mad and complains a lot” for this season. I wish he just stayed booted off the show.

Elimination Challenge! They are cooking for cast members from NBC’s The Biggest Loser (yay!) and will be creating their favorite breakfast, lunch, dinner and dessert dishes but they make sure it stays under a daily diet of less than 1500 calories. Hahaha, yeah right, that’s impossible.

Oh, they’re serious.

Ok then, the chefs separate up to cook in teams of three. The “red team” is Hugh, Celina and Traci. The “green team” includes Alex, Mary Sue and Suvir. Floyd, George and Naomi are the “blue team”.

To get on The Biggest Loser you have to weigh a lot and the contestants favorite dishes are great examples of how to get on the show. There were foods like bacon cheeseburger, French toast, deep-dish pizza and fried chicken. I dare you to try and make these healthy. The “losers” sit down with our now familiar judges James Oseland, Danyelle Freeman and Alan Sytsma, all awaiting the hopefully delicious diet conscience dishes.

Interesting Top Chef Masters Trivia: Alex Stratta has recently lost 90 pounds, so he feels a connection to this challenge.

Suvir decides that things were getting boring in the kitchen so he decides to enlighten (read: annoy) the other chefs about how bad red meat is. I’ll just say now that the vegetarian chef is making a bean burger. Even vegetarians don’t like bean burgers. I think he should have gone with red meat (foreshadowing!)

They serve the dishes in order from breakfast, to lunch and then dinner. That sounds like so much fun to eat,I think this is how I will be eating from now on. All meals in order but also all at once. Here’s the breakdown:

First Breakfast:

Naomi/Rulon (French toast):

French toast, berries, scrambled eggs & turkey bacon

Mary Sue/Ken (corned beef hash):

Turkey-vegetable hash & poached egg

Celina/Olivia: (a bacon, egg & cheese bagel sandwich)

Turkey bacon & egg whites on Ezekiel bagel with vegetables

Lunch:

Floyd/Jay (a meatball sub):

Buffalo meatball, farro, spinach, cheese, tomato sauce & asparagus

Alex/Hannah (fried chicken):

Oven-fried chicken, sweet potato puree, cream corn & corn bread

Trac/Moses: (Chinese buffet?):

Beef & broccoli, cabbage salad, rice & wonton soup

And Dinner:

George/Courtney (pizza):

Whole wheat pizza with tomato coulis, smoked mozzarella & vegetables

Suvir/Irene (burger):

Veggie burger & Asian slaw

Hugh/Austin (steak and potatoes :

Flank steak, fingerling potatoes & asparagus salad

Surprisingly, all three teams were under the calorie count. Naomi, Floyd and George are called back to Critic’s Table first and are told they did the best. Floyd gets the win and $10,000 for the Young Scientists’ Cancer Research Fund. I imagine all these kids in a lab wearing protective eyeglasses and lab coats jumping up and down celebrating.

Suvir, Mary Sue and Alex were this week’s biggest losers (see what I did there?). Suvir gets chastised for cooking for himself and not for Irene. Mary Sue had egg problems with her corned beef hash (I would’ve eaten it), while Alex made a “hockey puck- like” cornbread.

Suvir gets the boot, thank god.  He was passionate and a good chef, but he was also annoying and preachy. I had enough episodes of him being obnoxious in a not-entertaining-for-TV way.

Who do you think is going to win it all this season? I’m sticking with my bossy favorite Naomi.

Season 3, Episode 4 “Biggest Loser” (original air date April 27, 2011)

Top Chef Masters airs Wednesdays at 10/9c on Bravo.

Images courtesy of Nicole Wilder and Bravo.

 

In Plain Sight Q&A: Mary McCormack and Frederick Weller Discuss a Bun in The Oven

In Plain Sight is entering it’s fourth season this Sunday on USA with “The Art of the Steal.” As exciting as that is for you In Plain Sight fans, even more exciting is the announcement of Mary McCormack‘s pregnancy with her third child. Even though they have shot about half of the season, they plan to incorporate her pregnancy into the show, a drama centered around the federal witness protection program.

During a Q &A with Mary McCormack and co-star Frederick Weller they talked about what’s in store for their U.S. Marshal characters this season, the bun in the oven, and “cheating” with other TV shows.

In Plain Sight, which is going through a  lot of changes both in front of and behind the camera, is adding one more to the list: a pregnant Mary Shannon. Mary McCormack was very happy that they wanted to include her baby bump in the show.

” We’re writing it in and I’m playing pregnant. I mean I did what I had to do to get pregnant first. And  now we’re dealing with it.  Mary Shannon’s not a, you know, you don’t think of her as necessarily maternal so it’s making for some interesting story stuff and character stuff, which I think is really fun to play. And also I think it’s really interesting to see someone play pregnant who is pregnant. Because it’s it’s not altogether as pretty as when someone, you know, all chiseled up does it.

We’ve just started working it in so we’ll see.  I’m not sure where it ends up yet. And it was a lot of news for the writers and they’ve had to act fast. So they’ve been really sweet about it and really adaptable. I discussed it with them and we discussed it with the network too — I think the thought was it might actually provide for, you know as opposed to just being sort of a wrench, it might actually provide for really an interesting development in Season 4.”

The deadpan Fredrick Weller (AKA Robocop’s cousin) says since Mary has  been pregnant, he hasn’t really seen a change in her disposition on set.

“You know, it’s funny but I haven’t noticed any substantial change. I don’t know if that’s just more about her when she’s not pregnant than it does in how she’s able to handle the hormonal shift. But no apparent shift so far. She might have been maxed out on crankiness already.”

Frederick’s character Marshall gets a love interest this year, so does that mean his feelings for Mary have passed?

Fred Weller: “Well, Marshall’s feelings are now inevitably more submerged — his feelings for Mary. They’re more submerged, like underground lava or tunneling Viet Kong. They are more dangerous…”

Mary McCormack: “Oh my God, I want to throw up.”

Fred Weller: “…they’re more dangerous there.”

If you are wondering if Mary and Frederick are anything like their characters off the set, the answer is a resounding yes. As is evedent in this exchange between the two stars when Fredrick starts to talk about his recent appearance  on The Good Wife.

Mary McCormack: “Cheater.”

Fred Weller: “Really the best thing about it was the extent to which my taking that job has provoked Mary…”

Mary McCormack: “Ooh, Julianna Margulies, woohoo.”

Fred Weller: “…on Twitter and off.”

Mary McCormack: “Honestly, you shouldn’t cheat with other shows. It’s one thing to go do a play, enjoy, Mazel Tov, break a leg…”

Fred Weller: “I really enjoyed doing it. Speaking of Twitter, somebody said that she considered my character on that show, “Evil Marshall,” which is kind of an interesting twist. Yes, it’s nice to be somebody who’s kind of, somewhat sinister and darker than Marshall.”

Mary McCormack: “I didn’t see it.”

Fred Weller: “You didn’t watch it.”

Mary McCormack: “No, believe me. Nor should anyone.”

In the season premiere Mary’s sister, Brandi (played by Nicole Hiltz), gets into trouble when she becomes the prime suspect for grand theft auto. It’s up to Mary and Marshall to figure out who really stole the luxury cars. There will be a little “who done it”  mystery with Mary’s pregnancy on the show (not in real life), so she couldn’t talk about the father, but she did share a little bit about what we can expect this season with Mary and her family.

“Brandi is engaged and getting married. And so far her relationship seems to be going great. And my mother is still sober and doing great, and so that’s all confusing for Mary Shannon. But I think in an interesting way.”

Lastly, when you are a star of your own show, like Mary is, what TV shows do you watch?

“I love Survivor. I love reality TV and I love 30 Rock and I love In Plain Sight Sunday nights at 10:00…And I love Psych too.”

In Plain Sight airs Sundays at 10/9c on the USA Network.

Images courtesy of Colleen Hayes and USA Network

 

 

 

 

America’s Next Top Model Review: An Oasis Of Fashion And Culture

With five contestants remaining on ANTM, Tyra and the gang headed to the land of snake charmers, cous cous and the famous Marrakech Souk, otherwise known as Morocco. The Northern African country has been featured in pop culture as far back as the famous Casablanca and up until today with more modern flicks such as Sex and the City 2. Besides it being relevant to their modeling careers (Morocco seems to be a hot spot for famous models and a multitude of photo shoots), it was also high time some of the small town girls had a chance to visit such an exotic location so kudos to Team Tyra on the destination decision this cycle.

Typically on Top Model, there is a first semi-challenge of the episode, which there was, but there was no apparent winner this time. The girls embarked on a bit of a go-see and met up with Moroccan designer Noureddine Amir whose unique, industrial style couture is nothing short of pure artwork worthy enough to not just wear but to display in one’s home as an art piece. He’s definitely worth a Google search if you’re unfamiliar with his work. Andre Leon Talley was there as well to give his two cents and help the ladies get the most of their experience for future go-sees. It was the first time outside of panel that the models had a chance to interact with Andre and suck up bits and pieces of useful model industry information one on one with their ever developing sponge-like model brains. I, however, didn’t need Andre’s expertise to know that Alexandria’s white Hanes brand socks weren’t quite posh enough to compliment the allure of the flowing black dress Amir had her wear. By fashion standards, it was pretty funny to see. Kasia exhibited her model seasoning by being the only girl at the go-see to have a pair of heels packed in her purse, something described as “model 101”, and everyone should have done the same. This move was a good way to counteract the rocky start she had when Amir’s staff struggled to find clothing that fit the bombshell’s curvy figure.

The main challenge involved the models in bright Moroccan inspired clothing and glittery adornments posing alongside camels. Riding a camel into the Moroccan desert wrapped in stunning fabrics can imitate the opulent feeling of being an African princess, that is, until the camel tries to bite or spit in your face. Not the friendliest of animals and have I mentioned the smell? Most of the models nailed the shoot, namely Molly and Brittani, who later won top photos for the day. Others had a much harder time communicating with their camel companions and looked slightly more awkward while Hannah decided to take it old school and pose like a party girl on a mechanical bull at the local dive bar. Hannah’s plan worked as all of her photos were proclaimed gold according to Tyra. Soon the gleaming promise of a contract with Covergirl and IMG Models  became a distant mirage for one girl unfortunately when Alexandria and Kasia were put in the bottom two at panel and Kasia was sent home.

Season 16, Episode 10: Franca Sozzan (original air date April 28, 2011)

For another take on this episode, read Savannah DuBois’ review here.

Images courtesy of Franca Sozzani/Pottle Productions/The CW.

Waiting For Forever: DVD Giveaway

Win a DVD copy of Waiting For Forever, available on DVD and Blu-ray on May 3rd.

Rachel Bilson (Jumper, The O.C.) and Tom Sturridge (Pirate Radio) lead an all-star cast in this unforgettable love story.  Sturridge creates a mesmerizing and unforgettable character in Will, the quirky street performer with a free spirit and a heart of pure gold. The object of Will’s lifelong affection is Emma (Bilson), the beautiful young actress whom he has never stopped loving since they were childhood sweethearts. But when they reunite, and Will gets swept up in Emma’s complicated past, his innocence and all-consuming passion could cost him everything he’s ever wanted.

WAITING FOR FOREVER also stars Richard Jenkins (Step Brothers), Blythe Danner (Little Fockers, Meet the Fockers), Nikki Blonsky (Hairspray) and Jaime King (Sin City, Pearl Harbor).

Here’s How to Win (No Purchase Necessary)

1. Post your comments to at least one (1) of our front page articles

2. Email your name, email address and name of the post you commented on to contests@poptimal.com. Put “Waiting For Forever ” in the subject line. If you choose to participate for an additional chance to win via Twitter, be sure to add your Twitter handle to the email.

3. Wait. Winners will be notified later this month.

*** If you’re on Twitter. you will have an additional chance to win courtesy of our popular podcast, The Jone Dome.  After you enter as stated above, follow us at@Poptimal and send the following tweet: “I entered Poptimal.com for a chance to win a DVD copy of Waiting For Forever @Poptimal – ” You will receive additional entries (limit one per day) to win the above prize.

 

Waiting For Forever releases on DVD and Blu-ray on May 3rd.

Glee Review: Right On the Nose

That’s the way, uh-huh, uh-huh, I like it, uh-huh, uh-huh. After a so-so week last week, Glee has returned to form in “Born This Way,” a supersized, 90-minute episode celebrating Lady Gaga’s motto of self-acceptance.

It all started with a little physical assault, when Finn’s dance moves directly resulted in Rachel’s broken nose. At the doctor’s office, Rachel’s self-esteem was further attacked when the man in the white lab coat suggested she get a “vanity adjustment” while fixing her deviated septum. He tempted her further by saying it would open her nasal passages and allow for bigger breaths to reach those big notes, and we all know if Rachel was led by the Pied Piper over a cliff, she would follow if he promised to improve her talent.

When Rachel announced her big news to the glee club, Mr. Schue was pretty flabbergasted to hear of everyone rejecting the things they don’t like about themselves. Santana managed to call out all those things, further embarrassing her fellow glee members. “I mean, I’m sure that Sam’s been at the doctor’s office and rifled through pamphlets on mouth reduction. I’ll bet Artie’s thought about getting his legs removed because he’s not really using them anyway. And I’m definitely sure Tina has looked into eye de-slanting…[Finn] you have weird puffy pyramid nipples. They look like they’re filled with custard. You could dust them with powdered sugar and they can pass for some sort of dessert. Look, maybe Rachel’s fine with having an enormous beak. Maybe she needs it to crack hard seeds.” Santana somehow get beautifully softer and ridiculously more callous every episode. But, with Emma’s help, Will was able to figure out a plan. By going Gaga….again, he could push the club into realizing that they need to embrace the things that make them different.

He began with Emma, who he was still helping scrub grapes. While she felt that his help made her OCD processes more efficient, with four hands instead of two, he’d hoped that she would begin to face her issues and get better. But first, he presented the idea of singing songs about acceptance, leading up to a big group number of “Born This Way.” The club would make t-shirts, printed with their least favorite attribute, and they would wear them proudly by the end of the week. Emma was the guinea pig, sharing her shame upfront, but she still couldn’t admit her OCD to the kids. Instead, she shared her “ginger” status and how much embarrassment it brought upon her. But in the end, Emma saw the error of her avoidant ways, and with that shove from Will, she finally sought psychiatric help for herself and even learned that, with meds and therapy, her disease could be managed.

Meanwhile, Santana wanted to be prom queen and win Brittany back so she blackmailed Karofsky into helping her achieve those goals. “I’m a closet lesbian and a judgmental bitch, which means one thing: I have awesome gaydar.” For not exposing his secret to the world, she would be his beard. They’d start up the Bully Whips, a group that meanders through the halls and stops bullying in its tracks, and they also got to wear sweet, red berets. He’d also make amends with Kurt, which he did in front of Figgins, Burt, his own dad and Mr. Schue., and it would pave the way to garnering the jock and glee vote. Kurt easily saw through this ruse but conceded if Karofsky also established a chapter of Parents, Families, and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG) with him. And, yes, you read right. Kurt is officially back at McKinley! He even got a beautiful send off from The Warblers.

Back in glee club, Rachel still wasn’t sure if she wanted to go under the knife. She’d even brought Quinn along so the doctor could have an idea of the nose she wanted. But Barbra Streisand, her hero, would never have made such a concession. The group, with special help from Puck and Kurt, danced throughout the mall to jog her memory of this fact. Couple that with Finn telling her, in front of everyone, that she was beautiful the way she was, and Rachel avoided making a very large mistake. Sure that doctor may have gotten his own daughter a nose job for her 16^th birthday, almost as common as getting a car in my high school, but Rachel is better than that.

Lauren, however, showed her not-so-pretty side when she plastered pictures of Quinn all over the school in an attempt to attract some of Quinn’s prom queen votes over to her side. You see, in another life, Quinn was actually Lucy Q. Fabray, an overweight, zit-proned and big-nosed teen.  Bullying, we’ve learned over the entire course of this season, is not the way, but at least Lauren quickly apologized. In fact, Quinn’s outing garnered her more votes because people were able to finally see themselves in her, and Finn felt even closer to her.

In the end, everyone banded together to perform “Born This Way,” fully accepting themselves, warts and all. Sounds kind of gushy, but it felt like the perfect Glee episode, full of songs I could dance to, performances that brought tears to my eyes, quips that had me rolling and a theme that, while a little overused, fit well with the show and the building plot. The best part is things actually happened! Kurt returned, Karofsky was placed in a spot where I can start to see some growth, Santana and Brittany came a little bit closer to accepting what their relationship could be, Finn and Quinn seemed like a normal couple again, Emma is tackling her OCD head on, and Rachel found a little bit of that confidence she lost when Finn went back to Quinn. Right now, I’d be hard-pressed to say that I could have wanted much more.

The Songs
“I Feel Pretty” / “Unpretty” from West Side Story / by TLC
Sung by Rachel Berry and Quinn Fabray
Grade: A

“I’ve Gotta Be Me” by Sammy Davis Jr.
Sung by Finn Hudson and Mike Chang
Grade: B

“Somewhere Only We Know” by Keane
Sung by The Warblers
Grade: A

“As If We Never Said Goodbye” from Sunset Boulevard
Sung by Kurt Hummel
Grade: A-

“Barbra Streisand” by Duck Sauce
Dance Flashmob by New Directions and random mall-goers
Grade: B

“Born This Way” by Lady Gaga
Sung by New Directions
Grade: B+

Memorable Moments

• “I hear Rachel’s got a bit of a schnoz. I wouldn’t know since, like Medusa, I try to avoid eye contact with her.” – Santana
• “I really don’t like that term; it sounds way too scientific. I really prefer neat freak or cleanybug.” – Emma on her OCD.
• “She’s so gullible. I could convince her that by royal decree, I’d made her being with me the law of the land.” – Santana
• “Jack Ryan you’ve just bought Red October — Sean Connery” – Sam. So random.
• “Being a ginger has plagued me my entire life. People say that I smell like copper, I can get sunburn indoors at night, and according to recent legend, I have no soul.” – Emma
• “Those crowns are a crock. You know what I found out? Not real jewels. ” – Puck
• The fact that Lauren could have been on Toddlers & Tiaras and her greatest talent was baby pull-ups.
• Puck and Lauren still going strong, using his degenerate skills to help break into school to unearth Quinn’s permanent file.
• Santana: “First of all, I saw you checking out Sam’s ass the other day. You really need to be more careful about your leering. ”
  Karofsky: “I was not. I was just seeing what jeans he was wearing.”
  Santana: “Like that’s any less gay.”
• “Look, I’m not ready to start eating jicama or get a flat top, either. Maybe in junior college.” – Santana
• “Have you ever heard of the term beards? It’s when a gay man and woman date each other to hide the fact that they’re gay. Like the Roosevelts.” – Santana
• “The only straight I am is straight up bitch.” – Santana
• Anytime Mike dances, Finn was completely adorable trying to mimic his movement.
• “Every year girls show up to my temple after their sixteenth birthday, looking suddenly, slightly different. And you know what? Even though it’s easier to make out with them without getting constantly stabbed in the eye, they’re not as hot.” – Puck
• The slushie montage.
• “Legend has it that when I came out of my mother, I told the nurse she was fat.” – Santana
• “Why not? Because you’re Lebanese, and I think I’m bi-curious” – Brittany

The “Born This Way” T-Shirts

• Rachel – Nose
• Finn – Can’t Dance
• Kurt – Likes Boys
• Quinn – Lucy Caboosey
• Brittany – I’m With Stoopid (with an arrow pointing up)
• Puck – I’m With Stupid (with an arrow pointing down)
• Artie – Four Eyes
• Lauren – Bad Attitude
• Mercedes – No Weave!
• Sam – Trouty Mouth
• Tina – Brown Eyes
• Mike – Can’t Sing
• Will – Butt Chin
• Emma – OCD
• And in absentia: Santana – Lebanese (Brittany’s way of spelling lesbian)

What were your favorite songs, favorite lines or favorite moments? Share below!

For another take on this week’s episode, check out Learning to Love Yourself, it is the Greatest Love of All by Alana D.

Season 2, Episode 18: Born This Way (originally aired April 26, 2011)

Glee airs Tuesdays at 8/7c on Fox.

Images courtesy of Adam Rose and Fox.

Glee Review: Learning to Love Yourself, it is the Greatest Love of All.

This week, on an unnecessarily long episode of Glee:

Finn accidentally breaks Rachel’s schnoz, and Rachel subsequently contemplates taking the “rite of passage for Jewish girls,” i.e., a nose job. Rachel discusses it with Glee, suggesting that she might look better with Quinn’s nose.   Will then discusses Rachel’s nose issues while helping Emma polish grapes (I take it this, with Holly’s exit last week, means I’m stuck with Emma), and decides that Glee must learn a lesson about self-acceptance, which, of course, must be done through performance.  Thus, they have to sing songs individually about accepting yourself just the way you are, capped by a group performance of Lady Gaga’s “Born This Way” wearing t-shirts that showcase the thing s/he is the most ashamed of.  Rachel and Quinn perform a mash-up of TLC’s 1999 hit “Unpretty” and “I Feel Pretty” from West Side Story, and it works pretty well, although I wish Lea Michele didn’t have to tone down her gorgeous voice to accommodate Dianna Agron’s decidedly weaker one. Finn performs Sammy Davis Jr.’s “I Gotta Be Me” while dancing, with very little sense of rhythm or style, with Mike Chang. He looks like me the one time I tried a step class.  Still, despite some admirable speeches trying to convince her otherwise, and Finn’s publicly proclaiming her “beautiful” (awwwwww), Rachel decides to get a nose job.

The race for Prom Queen is ON.  Along with Quinn, Santana and Lauren Zizes are in it.  Santana’s strategy is to get Karofsky to apologize to Kurt, which will somehow get the vote of both the jocks and the geeks in her favor, and get Britney back (don’t get how the last one figures, but I’ll go with it).  Between Karofsky’s violent episode last week, and his not-so-subtly checking out Sam’s ass this week, Santana’s gaydar goes off.  So she makes him an offer, after delivering the following speech: “You’re what we call a late in life gay.  You’re going to stay in the closet, get married, get drunk to have relations with your wife, have a couple of kids, maybe become a state senator, or a deacon, and then get caught in the men’s room tapping your foot with some page[.]”  But Santana needs him to be her beard, and he needs her for the same reason, like the Roosevelts.  So she blackmails him.

So Karofsky and Santana tell New Directions that they’ve decided to head up an anti-bullying task force at McKinley.  And they’ve fallen in love.  (Wait, did I miss something?  When did Santana and Sam break up?  Was the trouty mouth thing really that bad?)  New Directions make the appropriate vomiting noises, and then Kurt’s in Principal Figgin’s office with his dad, while Karofsky and Karofsky’s father try and convince them that things will be different.  But, when the two are alone, Kurt gets Karofsky to level with him, and Karofsky comes clean.  And so Kurt decides to come back to McKinley, to support the school’s new anti-bullying campaign, and to start a PFLAG chapter.

As a send-off, the Warblers give a farewell performance, Keane’s “Somewhere Only We Know.”  Personally, I would’ve chosen something a little more fun and boy bandy for Darren* to sing, and then, to cap my disappointment, Kurt and Darren don’t even make out again.  Much more poignant is Kurt’s performance upon returning to McKinley, “As If We Never Said Good-bye” from Sunset Boulevard.   While I don’t really think it was necessary to the plot, and totally a reason the episode was 90 minutes instead of a better-paced 60, I don’t have the heart to complain, cause Chris Colfer really performed the crap out of it.

Back to Lauren’s prom queen mission. Quinn is not happy about Lauren’s desire for the crown, and threatens her, saying “You don’t know anything about me.”  But she does!  When Lauren plays, she plays dirty, and some investigative reporting reveals that Quinn Fabray was once Lucy Fabray, a heavy-set, brown-haired girl with zits and a big schnoz.  Lauren, in the meanest thing we’ve seen her do so far, exposes Quinn as a fraud, but it only results in transferring the sympathy vote from Lauren to Quinn.  So it looks like it’s going to be Santana v. Quinn.  Totally looking forward to that catfight.

But wait! What about that nose job?  Can’t happen in an episode about self-acceptance, so it doesn’t, because New Directions organize a flash mob-like performance in honor of the Queen of Self-Acceptance, Barbra Streisand (you thought I was gonna say Lady Gaga, didn’t you?).   Charming, but next time, more singing.

And so, the episode culminates in the aforementioned performance of “Born This Way.”  All perform except Santana, who, wearing her Britney-made “Lebanese” t-shirt, hasn’t quite arrived at self-acceptance yet.  I hope she gets there, cause she’ll be such a better bitch once she’s an honest one.

Oh, and in storylines I don’t really care about, Emma, at Will’s urging, decides to seek therapy for her OCD.

So what did you think?  Are you already missing the Warblers?  Has Glee exhausted the Gaga schtick?  And what was your favorite t-shirt, Britney’s “I’m with stoopid” with the arrow pointing at her head, or Puck’s “I’m with Stupid” with the arrow pointing at his penis?  Let me know below!

* Duckie said it best.

For another take on this week’s episode, check out Right on the Nose by Inisia Lewis.

Season 2, Episode 18: Born This Way (originally aired April 26, 2011)

Glee airs Tuesdays at 8/7c on Fox.

Images courtesy of Adam Rose and Fox.

Gossip Girl Review: My Kingdom for a Prince

I have to say, as much as I’m a fan of Dan Humphrey, he really needs to find a girl who doesn’t live on the Upper East Side, or want to live on the Upper East Side. Frankly, it’s getting a little gross how he keeps dating around the edges of Serena’s social circle where she can keep and eye on him.

This week he’s still dealing with lingering feelings for Blair (Leighton Meester). I had hoped that little storyline would die a quick death, but it seems I’m destined to be disappointed. He gets a call from a magazine asking him to do a story on the prince that Blair dated briefly during her and Serena’s summer of debauchery that really just turned out boring until Chuck turned up dead.

Remember that? Those were good times.

At any rate, the prince is in town and it turns out he’s made the trip to the States because he can’t get Blair out of his mind. His parents have sent a handler, concerned that he will embarrass the family by getting involved with an American girl. They obviously don’t know Blair. As the prince points out, she’s anything but ordinary.

In the wings, Raina (Tika Sumpter) and Nate (Chace Crawford) hire a private investigator to find out what happened to her mother. When Chuck (Ed Westwick) gets wind of their search he advises Nate to talk Raina into calling it off, figuring it will cause her more pain when she learns of her mother’s death. Chuck confesses that Russell told him that the fire at the Bass Hotel killed Raina’s mother, but in the end Chuck decides to do a little research of his own. Turns out it’s the old a bunch-of-people-went-in-and-she-never-came-out line, although no details about her body being recovered exists.

Methinks I smell a rat.

Speaking of rats, Serena (Blake Lively) got that message from the meddling, annoying Vanessa (Jessica Szohr) about Dan (Penn Badgley) and Blair’s kiss. She’s determined to find out whether or not the two of them have been lying, and enlists her cousin Charlie’s help in the matter. Gossip Girl (Kristen Bell) and Charlie (Kaylee DeFer) catch Dan and Blair preparing for the Pink Party, this week’s gathering of the entire cast. What Charlie doesn’t know is that Blair is up to something.

Wait. Everyone should always assume Blair is up to something.

This time, Dan is being enlisted to right the wrong he caused by outing the prince’s presence in NYC when it was supposed to be a secret. In order to convince the Prince Louis’ handler (and his parents) that nothing is going on between him and Blair, they arrange for the handler to walk in on a “private” moment between her and Dan instead.

A rather uninteresting tidbit: Rufus (Matthew Settle) arranges to move the Pink Party to their loft so that Lily (Kelly Rutherford) can attend even though she’s on house arrest. Her friends are mean to her. What a shocker.

Also uninteresting but happier news: Dan has finally realizes that Vanessa is an annoying, not pretty wannabe and informs her that they are not friends. One can only hope he sticks to his guns for once.

At the party, things go pretty much as planned except instead of just outing their fake moment to the prince’s handler, Dan and Blair get busted in a lip lock by Charlie, who uploads the video for Gossip Girl. Blair’s worst nightmare comes true when she’s forced to admit to all of high society that she’s in a relationship with Dan.

They encounter a small hiccup while explaining things to Serena, who is upset they lied and snuck around, especially since they claim to be just friends. The prince and Blair end the night deciding to take their real relationship public, kissing for the paparazzi. That has to be one of Blair’s fantasies, seriously.

From the previews for next week, it looks like Chuck isn’t going to take this latest love interest lying down. Could a long awaited Chuck/Blair reunion finally be in the works? Maybe with that proposal stupid Jenny Humphrey cheated us out of a last season?

Only time will tell. XOXO.

Season 4, Episode 19 “Pretty in Pink” (original air date April 25, 2011)

Gossip Girl airs Monday nights at 9/8c on the CW.

Photos courtesy of Giovanni Rufino and The CW

Dancing With the Stars Review: It’s Guilty Pleasures Night, and Somewhere, a Mullet is Smiling…

In taking a quick glance at this weeks Dancing With the Stars, one might ask themselves: “Hmmm, is it Lame Boy Bands from 20 Years Ago Night?” That would explain the show using the now-adult, creepy-looking former boy band Hansonas their house band for the evening. (Here’s a little hint for all you boy bands who are now in your 30′s and still performing the same songs as if you are still going through puberty: cooing the words “Mmmbop, badu ba bop” when you’re a pre-teen? Adorable. When you’re old enough to be someone’s dad or uncle? No longer cute.) It may even explain why the show chose to also showcase other boy bands from the past including The Backstreet Boys and New Kids on The Block.Turns out it was just “Guilty Pleasures Night.” What is that, you ask? Once again, it’s nothing. It is something that the show made up, because they are the masters at making stuff up, and then acting as if it’s a real thing. Guilty pleasures night, as Brooke Burke explained off her cue-card while looking quite fetching in a gorgeous, sparkling, purple evening gown, is a night that celebrates all those songs that we all love but are too embarrassed to admit it. Okay. That sounds fun. But I still don’t get the Hanson connection. Something tells me the fact that they have a new album to promote has more to do with why they are on the show than this made up theme. When I think guilty pleasure, I think brownies, cake, or Dancing With the Stars! When I think lame boy bands now turned man bands, I think Hanson.

Despite its theme, this weeks’ episodes offered up three fantastic things: 1) some of the highest quality dancing we have seen so far this season. It is one of those weeks where you hate to see anyone go home, because every couple did well, 2) a hilarious and fun atmosphere, even more than usual, and 3) a few classic improvised quotes from none other than host Tom Bergeron. (What? Did you think I was going to say Brooke Burke? Let’s not get crazy here…) I shall highlight a few of Tommy B’s comedy gems as we go along …

1. Kirstie / Maks:

This couple chose a great guilty pleasure song Kirstie confessed to being in love with: “. . .Baby One More Time” by Britney Spears. Their dance was the Samba, and the first thing I noticed right off was that they both looked great in their chocolate brown, sexy attire. MUCH better than that monstrosity they dressed Kirstie in last week. What the hell was that about? Anyway, Mak’s chest …I mean … shirt … was extremely sexy, as was their dance. The chemistry between these two is so fun and real. This was a great dance. The thing I love about watching Kirstie most is that I am always smiling when she dances, and I am always rooting for her. I feel like a proud momma when she is up there, because you can feel her enthusiasm for being there. (Plus, I follow her on twitter and she is always talking up the show and her affection and respect for Maks.) After the dance, Kirstie could barely catch her breath, and Brooke Burke chose that of all moments to conduct what felt like an hour-long in-depth interview, asking Kirstie about 37 pointless questions. SHE CAN’T BREATHE! Leave her alone! As for judges comments, Bruno stood up and said: “Your wiggly bum sends shockwaves through the airwaves!” Well, alrighty then. Me thinks he liked it. These judges also love the word bum. Judges Scores: 8/9/9

2. Chris / Cheryl:

The song was “Don’t Stop Believin’” by Journey, and the dance was a Tango. I loved their black, dramatic costumes. Excellent choreography, but Chris moved like he had a stick up his back, or a baseball bat. He was overly-cautious and it didn’t flow like it normally does. Bruno called him a “lump of granite” while Carrie Ann said the pressure to be on top got to him. I certainly hope not, because he needs to stay so I can continue to stare at him and my husband can stare at Cheryl. It’s just what we do. I suppose I could stand to stare at Maks some more, as he is kind of growing on me since he has been partnered with Kirstie and now actually cracks a smile sometimes. Judges Scores: 7/8/7.  Brooke wanted desperately to know: “how does that feel?”

After coming back from a commercial break, Hanson finished up their version of Billy Ray Cyrus’s “Achy Breaky Heart” to which Tom Bergeron commented: “Somewhere, a mullet is smiling.” Probably the line of the night.

3. Romeo / Chelsie:

Because he claims to be a hopeless romantic, Romeo and his partner chose the classic cheesy song: “My Heart Will Go On” by Celine Dion, from the movie Titanic. They are only one point behind Hines Ward, and so their new goal is to get a 10 to catch up. Their gorgeous, flowing, beautiful Waltz accomplished this and more. It was one of those dances that makes you forget you are watching a contest show. Carrie Ann called it “magical” while Bruno referred to Mario as “Romeo DiCaprio.” Brooke Burke asked the couple “how does that feel?”; when they received their desired scores of: 10/9/9.

4. Chelsea / Mark:

During rehearsal footage, Mark tried to get sweet, Disney Chelsea to be a lot more competitive. At first, she wasn’t catching on, but then they had a water fight, (which basically consisted of them chasing each other around and spraying water at each other out of the kitchen sink … not exactly the stuff of rebels), and suddenly, she was competitive. I don’t know about you, but when I think competitive, I think “water fight!” Okay. Whatever. Moving on … the couple danced a Quickstep to the catchy 80′s tune “Walkin On Sunshine” by Katrina and the Waves.  Chelsea’s cute as a button yellow dress and her sharp, fun moves won me over on this dance. Fantastic steps, choreography, and totally in sync. This dance was a blast of fun. Knowing that Mark was dancing on a twisted ankle only made it that much more impressive. Judges Scores: 10/9/9. Brooke Burke wanted to know “how does it feel” to get the same scores as the pair before you? HOW DOES IT FEEL?

After another commercial break, Tom Bergeron welcomed us back to the show by instructing us to come back for the results show for more performances and fun, and to: “Get ‘em while they’re cheesy!” Oh Tommy. You are such a card.

5. Kendra / Louis:

This chick is starting to really crack me up. This week, her partner Silly Brillo Hair Head tells her that this is “her week to shine!” Why? Is it stripper week? Work that pole week? Pretty much. She gets to shake her stuff. When told this, Kendra replies: “..and that includes my boobs, right?” to which Silly Brillo Hair Head says:”Yes shake everything. Shake what God gave you!” to which WhinyMcWhinypants replies: “Well, my boobs aren’t what God gave me!” (rimshot) There’s that elegance again.

Okay Kendra. We get it already. You’re a stripper. You like to shake it. Your boobs are fake. What a shocker that is to America. Does this woman want to be elegant or does she want to be a stripper? With comments like that all the time, it’s very hard to tell. I think she doesn’t know what the hell she wants, and she drives me nutso. I also find it ironic (and again, so would Alanis Morissette, don’t you think?) that the stripper’s strongest week of dancing involves her basically doing her stripper dance, and if she gets a great score, it’s because she is a stripper. And if she goes home, she will continue to be a stripper. So either way, she’s a stripper. Stripper. I’m going to say the word stripper one more time, just for kicks: stripper. That said, their Samba to Ricky Martin’s “Livin La Vida Loca” was pretty awesome, because she was “in her element,” (i.e.: stripper) as Carrie Anne said. (I tried really hard not to bust out laughing with that comment.) When the dance ended with Kendra working the judges table like it was a stripper pole, shaking herself all up in Len’s face and practically giving him heart failure, he quipped: “Well, looks like you fulfilled one of MY guilty pleasures!” (ba-dum-bum!) Bruno followed this up with his own joke: “It was like ‘Revenge of the Stripper! Attack of the Killer Boobs!” And then, just when I thought I couldn’t possibly laugh any more at someone else’s expense, Tom Bergeron pulled out the moment of the evening by showing an extra long clip of the video for Elton John’s “I’m Still Standing.” Why? Well, because a certain judge named Bruno Tonioli, at a much younger age, appears all over the video as a backup dancer, and in some pretty hilarious, barely-there outfits too. As the camera pans on Bruno’s reaction, you can just barely see him saying to Bergeron:”Oh, you bitch!” as everyone has a good laugh. Hysterical. Bruno, how does that feel? Finally, the group collected themselves, and gave the couple their scores: 8/8/9. Hugh Hefner must be so proud.

Back at the Playboy Mansion: Hugh Hefner settled in for the night with his afghan and ginger ale to watch his favorite stripper do her elegant strip-pole dance on national tv. As the goddesses/Playthings cut up his hot dog into little bite-size pieces for easy chewing, Hefner showed a moment of enthusiasm for Kendra’s dancing when there appeared to be a tent in his Flintstones Pajamas. Oh wait – that’s just the TV remote he dropped down there by mistake. Oh well. Time for bed Hugh! Lights out! As the playthings shut off Hugh’s Clapper nightlight, he drifts off to sleep as his wrinkly old balls are placed in their nightly jar high upon the shelf. Goodnight Hugh.

6. Hines / Kym:

This pair danced the Viennese Waltz, and it was all-around almost perfection. Adorable, flowing, sweet, lyrical, and very fluid; the dance was excellent and really enjoyable to watch. Hines is a very strong contender in this Mirror Ball race. Scores: 9/9/9.

7. Ralph / Karina:

Confused hairline doesn’t like being at the bottom of the leaderboard like he was last week, so his weird solution is to add a tiny piece of choreography / movement from “The Karate Kid” that nobody would EVER notice if it wasn’t directly pointed out to them in a cheesy rehearsal footage video. Their dance was the Pasa Doble, and about a third of the way through, Karina tripped on Ralph’s long, dumb jacket and fell. He picked her back up, and they continued onward like pros. The judges gave him praise for the way he continued on with the dance, and although I agree with that, I didn’t think the dance was that great, with or without the fall. Isn’t the Pasa Doble supposed to be intimidating? To me, it felt manic, chaotic, and Ralph looked angry the whole time. He has the strangest facial expressions. When they received their scores of 8/8/8, Brooke Burke asked the couple “how does that feel?” and then proceeded to cut them off when they tried to answer. Nice.

Elimination Show:

The show opened up, inexplicably, with a performance by yet another former boy band: New Kids on the Block, or,as they now call themselves, NKOTB. Hey there 30 year old grown men! Calling yourselves a bunch of letters doesn’t change the fact that you’re a bunch of grown-ass men now with the name New KIDS on the Bl0ck. We all know what it stands for. So they sang something insipid and dumb, followed by about 37 filler dances from the pros and some odd, bizarre “mini-play” from something called The Macy’s Dancers or something or other. I was only half-paying attention.

The highlight of the night, to be honest, was a dance by pros Karina Smirnoff and Mark Balis as former American Idol contestant Pia Toscano sang The Pretenders “I’ll Stand By You.” When she was finished singing  with her usual, pretty amazing range and sound, Bergeron asked what many of us still want to know: “How the hell did you get voted off?” More importantly was his follow-up question: “Is Mark Balis a good kisser?” to which Pia responded; “He is a wonderful person.” It has been rumored that the two are dating, which seems to be the case, watching Balis throwing an air kiss up to Pia upon her answer.

Finally, the bottom two (who are not necessarily the bottom two) were Ralph and Karina, and Chris and Cheryl. Going home? Chris and Cheryl. I had a feeling that would happen, and it makes me sad. My husband almost cried. Well, not really. But he emphatically stated that he no longer has a reason to watch the show anymore. Waaah. Poor husband. I told him he can always watch for Kendra and her elegance. He didn’t get the joke.

Season 12, Episode 10 and 11 (originally aired April 25 and April 26, 2011)

For more on Dancing With the Stars, click here.

Mondays at 8/7c, Tuesdays at 9/8c, on ABC.

Photographs courtesy of ABC and Adam Taylor.
 

The Amazing Race Review: Two Cowboys Short of a Twelve-Pack

It’s all about who you know on this week’s episode of The Amazing Race, and five of the six remaining teams find themselves united in one simple wish: get the Cowboys out.

On this week’s episode the teams start out in Austria, where they learn they must travel by train to Liechtenstein, the home for this next leg of the race. Gary/Mallory, who came in last in the previous leg, start this one off with the handicap of an impending Speed Bump. This added to the Double U-turn ahead and this team’s really got some work to do to keep alive. Zev/Justin have their own little hang-ups. For the majority of the tasks, Zev feels that he has been the weak link in their group and that Justin has been carrying him along. Zev wants to prove to both Justin and himself that he can do more and help out their team. Kent/Vyxsin, the tempestuous duo who has been fighting an internal battle for the past three legs, have decided to try for a more positive attitude towards this race. Because after all, the partnership of Kent/Vyxin would be far more efficient if one of the team members did not have to drag the bludgeoned body of their partner across the finish line.

On to friendlier teams, the Globetrotters talk about their easy partnership with Zev/Justin and Kisha/Jen which frequently results in the teams sharing information to help each other along. Big Easy worries about the Cowboys who are for the most part self-sufficient and manage to hang around without any help from their competitors. This whole “getting around on your own and managing to stay in the competition completely unaided by anyone else” might be threatening to a team who admittedly relies on other teams to continue on. The Cowboy’s for their part are aware of their not-yet-outcast status that has kept them secluded from the other teams. This doesn’t really worry them because as the ‘Trotters said, those Cowboys can get along on their own.

For the first task this week, the teams had to hop on a motorized bike and measure the entire length of Liechtenstein with nothing but an odometer and a map. Less than 22 kilometers, the country is smaller than New York City, but that doesn’t make the trip any easier especially considering that if the teams come up with the wrong answer (which is easily done, if say, you get lost riding around in a foreign land) they’ll have to retrace their steps and start all over again. For their speed bump, before this challenge begins, Gary/Mallory have the extra task of mixing their own fuel by mixing gasoline and oil. They finish this task fairly easily and quickly start on their way.

Only one teammate has to perform this task, and here’s how it goes: Jet gets lost, Kisha loses her map and pairs up with Justin, Vyxsin stops, allowing Gary to pass her by and head straight into Jet where the two momentarily pair up before Jet takes off leaving Gary behind. Jet gets to the stop first, but has the wrong number and has to start again (haha should’ve waited for Gary); Gary teams up with Vyxsin while Justin and Kisha reach the final line with the correct number (22 kilometers) and move on to the next task. Big Easy runs into Zev/Justin and Kisha/Jen, who reluctantly tell him the correct answer, Big Easy shares this information with Gary and Vyxsin who all move on to the next challenge while poor, lonely Jet is still at the starting line. As we all know, it doesn’t take the Cowboys long to overcome any obstacle. They soon catch up with the others on the next task.

The next task requires the teams to choose between two tasks: Cheese or Wheeze. In “Cheese,” the teams have to eat an entire pot of fondue in order to receive their next clue. Both Zev/Justin and Kisha/Jen choose this task, and both have immediate misgiving about the likelihood of completing it. Whereas Kisha/Jen quickly decide to switch tasks, Zev/Justin argue back and forth about switching. Justin wants to switch tasks while Zev wants to stay and complete the chosen one. For the next 53 minutes, Zev and Justin go through a particular sort of fondue hell, but Zev manages to push them through.

In “Wheeze,” the teams must travel on foot to deliver 20 pieces of luggage to 5 local hotels. Gary/Mallory seem to have the most trouble with the concept of this task as for the longest time they simply stand in the train yard looking at the luggage. Mallory complains to her dad, trying to get him to rush, but for some reason they just stand there…I don’t understand their indecision about this, so we’ll move on. Continuing his enrollment to Vyxsin’s school for undisciplined children, Kent once again whines his way through this task. If it’s not that Vyxsin’s going too fast, or too slow, or bumping into him, Kent’s complaining that he’s tired. At the end of this task, Vyxsin finally offers to carry a tired and cranky Kent through the rest of the challenge by pulling him along on the luggage cart. And I only have one thought to this, and that is not fit to be repeated on this forum. Now you must know, I’m all for equality of the sexes when it suits me, but having Vyxsin pull around this grown man on a cart is w. t. f. territory. Someone (Vyxsin) needs to smack this boy upside the head and tell him to grow a pair. Really, we’re too old for this. You must of course understand, had it been Vyxsin on the cart and Kent had something resembling a muscle on him, I would not have as near a problem with this. But as I said before, equality is good “when it suits me,” and Vyxsin’s not a burly dude either, so that doesn’t count. The Globetrotters, in a show of skill, manage to balance all 20 pieces of luggage onto their cart, potentially minimizing their travel time. But what they save in organization skills they waste away in negligence as they realize that they have mistakenly delivered two pieces of luggage to the wrong hotel. To make matters worse, Flight Time realizes that he’s lost two of their 20 luggage claim tickets. As a result, they have to go back to the hotel to get another, giving The Cowboys time to catch up.

None of the teams use the U-turn until the Globetrotters, with a string of bad luck and now in next to last place choose to U-turn the Cowboys effectively ending their time on the Race. They had a good race, and it sucks that Jet and Cord had to go out like this. But friend or foe alike, in this situation when it comes down to it, self-preservation always kicks in. Sorry, fellas.

Here are the rankings:
1. Zev/Justin winning a trip for two to the Caribbean
2. Kisha/Jen
3. Kent/Vyxsin
4. Gary/Mallory
5. Flight Time/ Big Easy

Can you believe we’re down to the Final Five already?

Season 18: Episode 9: “We’re Good American People” (original airdate April 24, 2011).

The Amazing Race airs Sundays at 8/7c on CBS.

Photos courtesy of Monty Brinton and CBS.

Hellcats Review: Woke Up Dead

During our recent interview with the cast of Hellcats, Matt Barr (who portrays student filmmaker Dan Patch) admitted to being “bitten by the directing bug” while shooting for the first post-hiatus episode. Unfortunately, there are other bite victims in his midst. In “Woke Up Dead,” the Lancer University cheer squad is forced to arm themselves with deadly weapons against a zombie attack in an effort to help Dan gain entry into a competitive film school. Meanwhile, Marti (Aly Michalka) penetrates the shroud of mystery surrounding her family background, and Alice (Heather Hemmens) finds a new calling as she helps to report on the ongoing scandal involving jocks and academic dishonesty.

No one could accuse this installment of Hellcats of skimping in the melodrama department. Marti is in full-on existential crisis mode as she struggles to unmask information about her long-lost musician father, Rex. After discovering an old advertisement in a guitar shop that places him at a gig five years after his supposed death, Marti confronts her mother Wanda (Gail O’Grady), who’s been attempting to shield her daughter from unsavory details by rewriting the past. Marti is understandably upset and confused when she learns that Rex was a “very dedicated, very resourceful” drug addict, according to Wanda, who took Marti along on a back-alley drug binge when she was only three years old before abandoning the family altogether. Wanda has enough compassion to gift Marti with one of her dad’s old guitars and the sheet music to a song he wrote when she was just a newborn baby. Marti remains unaware of the treasure trove of additional information that lies ahead, but she won’t give up on her search anytime soon.

Any fans hoping for a sustained Marti/Dan romance will have to exercise a bit of patience, as all we’re offered in this episode is a platonic heart-to-heart about Marti’s daddy issues. Dan listens earnestly and with great concern, reacting as only a fictional male character would, offering a shoulder to cry on, along with helpful insight and uplifting platitudes to a distraught Marti.

Meanwhile, business major and ruthless cheerleader Alice explores the prospect of adding ‘Investigative Reporter’ to her resume after thoroughly enjoying the successful execution of a sting operation on campus. Several athletes have been outsourcing their paper-writing duties to a fellow student who charges top dollar for her services, and a popular university publication can’t resist tricking the gullible ghostwriter into making an on-camera deal with the undercover Alice. Deceit and manipulation come as naturally to this girl as do her complicated cheer routines, so she sees this vocation as a unique opportunity to intimidate people in new and exciting ways. The problem arises when she learns that Lewis, her jock ex-boyfriend, is himself implicated in the cheating scandal, having had a paper written for him during his freshman year. Since she believes she can reasonably request that her editors “kill the story” in order to protect her former flame, she could probably stand to take a few journalism courses before fully committing to this new path.

In his effort to win a place at his film school of choice, Dan has completed an operation of his own, having shot a low-budget, unambitious genre film trailer involving all of his cheerleader friends, a lot of fake blood, and impressive special effects (as Marti is regrettably turned into a zombie and decapitated). Of course, “Feartown” is not complete without some rockin’ music and a lot of awkward choreography, nor are viewers spared the inevitable eye-rollers, including Heather’s “I came to spread spirit and kill monsters, and I’m all outta spirit.” The extended trailer is shown almost in its entirety toward the end of the episode; Dan’s pretentious “artsy fartsy” co-applicants cave in and applaud along with the rest of the crowd at the campus screening, during which he is asked by a school administrator to defend his contribution to the art of cinema. Dan delivers a show-stopping speech about how “classic horror films” made by capable directors can serve as allegory for larger societal problems, concluding, “My film is about overcoming fear.” His audience seems to buy it, and for now, his dream of one day becoming a lauded movie director is still within grasp.

The closing scene showcases Marti with her guitar onstage at a cafe, playing the song that her father wrote for her when she was born. It’s mournful and tender and quite melodic but not memorable enough, much like this episode, which should have included several more zombies and considerably fewer tears.

Season 1: Episode 18: “Woke Up Dead” (original airdate April 19, 2011.)

Hellcats airs Tuesdays at 9/8c.

Images courtesy of Sergei Bachlakov and The CW.

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