America’s Next Top Model Review: Underexposed!

If you haven’t yet watched this season’s America’s Next Top Model or maybe just missed a few episodes, you were in luck this week. If you have been watching ANTM thus far, you didn’t miss a thing. To stretch the series out a bit, they did what a lot of reality shows might do and air a recap episode for fans to catch up. A recap in the reality television world is the equivalent to the better known television series clip show and might even be hated just as much. I don’t know about you but when I come across the dreaded compilation episode of even my favorite shows I tend to tune out.

While ANTM promised to expose a lot of behind the scenes mischief between the models and exciting unaired footage, it failed to deliver or keep me interested. Most of the episode was a mash up of everything we’ve already seen like the unorthodox casting method Tyra chose to use in this cycle and with some of the more painful to watch moments like the Fierce Roast coffee commercial added in. The rest of the episode had about forty-five second filler moments of behind the scenes film of the models interacting with each other. So Hannah carried a crystal around, Sara had a bad “finger wagging” habit and Jaclyn made a swear jar for the house. No big whoop really. It gave me the impression that editing staff had to desperately search through reels and reels looking for material in an attempt to make the life of the Top Model girls seem more enthralling, and maybe more so just to fill up an episode with something, anything, of interest.

The only new footage really was of the cycle 15 winner Ann Ward. They did a small “where are they now” segment on the former competitor but after building up the excitement throughout the episode it turned out to be about a thirty second recap of the girl. Maybe this seasons ANTM isn’t as exciting as some hoped or maybe they’re not showing us any groundbreaking footage for one reason or another. I certainly could have missed this episode and had no problem with it but if you haven’t been watching the series then you, and only you, could appreciate the purpose of this week’s episode.

 

Season 16, Episode  9: Highlights and Cat Fights (originally aired April 20, 2011)

Images courtesy of Matthew Rolston/The CW.

Glee Review: Night of Nothing New

As Glee returned from a 5-week hiatus, the glee club prepared for a benefit concert to raise travel money for Nationals, Sue attempted to thwart their every effort, Mercedes went diva and Holly made her final appearance of the season.

This week’s “A Night of Neglect” was the first instance in a long time that I didn’t jump for joy once the credits started rolling. I can’t blame it on the funny because the writers threw in zinger after zinger, sharing the wealth evenly among the bulging cast. It could have been the lack of a plot with any forward momentum or depth, but that’s sort of a typical day in the Glee-verse. I think the music, my constant draw, just failed to rouse me into singing or dancing or connect in any inherent way to the story or lack thereof. Almost 24 hours after my initial viewing, I have yet to download any of the songs. Even so, I was thoroughly happy to find New Directions and all of their friends back on my television screen, especially more of those “neglected” Glee characters.

When we jumped back into the story, Will was scrawling inanities on the blackboard for the umpteenth time. This time it was calculations, determining that they’d have to raise $5,000 to fund their trip to Nationals. Sue hid the Cheerios money that was given to the club in unreachable, offshore accounts. Will figured he’d pull another ridiculous idea out of the early ‘90s and suggest the club sell 20,000 saltwater taffies to reach their goal. It was about this time that the Braniacs, consisting of Artie, Mike, Tina and (surprise!) Brittany, stood up in indignation. They also needed $250 to pay their way to an academic decathlon and were tired of listening to everyone complain and whine. Luckily, Holly was back with her insane yet awesome ideas.

She suggested to her new, quasi-beau that they should hold a benefit concert where the club only sang songs by neglected artists. This got the typical “what?” faces from the kids, but there’s always Schu’s “pretty much a stretch” definitions. A neglected artist is “someone whose brilliance isn’t always appreciated,” he said. Alright, that kind of makes sense for this shunned group. Not so much logic went into bringing back Sunshine Corazon for an obligatory song before they confront Vocal Adrenaline in competition at the end of the season. Most were concerned that she only wanted to sing as a form of sabotage, especially Rachel, but everyone but Rachel were convinced after she sang about how “making love was just for fun.” Sunshine morphed from saboteur to savior, even promising to bring her 600 Twitter followers along, and everything might have worked out if not for Sue and her League of Doom.

Sue put together a crackpot team of glee club haters. Sandy, a.k.a. Pink Dagger, Terri, a.k.a. Honey Badger, and Dustin, the Vocal Adrenaline coach and a.k.a. Sgt. Handsome, comprised the team of henchmen, with Sue, a.k.a. General Zod, as their leader. Not sure what Terri actually did, if anything at all, but Dustin was tasked with breaking up Holly and Will’s already fragile and fleeting relationship, and Sandy was charged with leading a band of hecklers during the concert. Earlier, Will had learned that Emma and Carl annulled their marriage, and he comforted her as Holly sadly looked on, so Dustin didn’t have to do much besides hit on Holly, sparking some jealously in Will, for the dominos to fall. Everyone knows it’s about Wemma. Holly was never meant to be tamed anyway, and Gwyneth Paltrow has a real career to get back to. (Is that singing or acting now because I can’t tell anymore?) Plus, it’s never a good sign in a relationship when a couple is ready to bite each other’s heads off after five dates.

Sandy has never succeeded at anything besides dealing dope and stalking Groban, but supported by Jacob, Azimio and Becky, the concert commenced with a certain reek of failure. Dustin had ordered Sunshine to bail, and besides Blaine and Kurt, no one else turned up to cheer them on. Sandy wanted showtunes, Jacob wanted Rachel, and Becky even screamed “kiss my ass”! (Where were any of their parents?! Dad of the Year Burt would have definitely been there if Kurt still attended McKinley.) Poor, Tina. She finally got a song, a real song, a good song, and she ended up crying, but Will told his kids that derision is something they will have to experience in show business and to power through it, a lesson Mercedes learned the hard way…again.

Amber Riley deserves more storylines, but not the same recycled “am I too fat” or “I want the solo” storylines. Why can’t she get a boyfriend? Maybe the audience could gain more perspective by bringing in her family. Rachel planned to bring down the house, until everyone chose Sunshine to close the show. Mercedes was never a thought, and the fact clearly made her sad and caused her to question her talent. Though we’ve seen her stand up for herself a million times, this week she was back to letting Rachel walk all over her, and Lauren wanted none of it. She urged Mercedes to stand up for herself and appointed herself Mercedes’ manager. Believe in yourself, make demands and earn R-E-S-P-E-C-T. But Rachel, of all people, brought the mini-diva back to reality, relating the story of Aretha Franklin’s crowning. She didn’t demand her title as the Queen of Soul. It was graciously bestowed upon her when she was least expecting it.

Kudos to Rachel for admitting they both have equally fantastic voices, but the difference between them is that Rachel lets nothing get in her way, while Mercedes is clearly more liked for a reason, very evidently because she’s not as pushy or bossy (usually) as Rachel. Her friend advised, “If you want that closing slot, then go in there and take it from me.” But Mercedes didn’t because she learned her lesson in humility. After her fantastic performance, Rachel doesn’t even take the stage, telling Mercedes that the crowd loved her and that she shut the door on anything else that would come afterwards. A nice sentiment, right?

Santana also took out her fangs to stand up for Kurt and Blaine, offering to crack a nut or use one of the many razor blades hidden in her hair. Another nice sentiment, right? Kurt was giving Blaine a tour of the school when they ran into Karofsky who can’t help but throw his own homosexuality back in their faces with insults and threats. Blaine displayed some fire by shoving the bully, while Kurt told him that they all know what the real problem is even though Karofsky can’t face it. Wow, there was a tiny sense of continuity!

Like I stated earlier, I’m happy to have the show back, and I’m eager to see how they bring Kurt and Blaine to New Directions, how Karofsky deals with his self-hatred by turning it into something empowering, and then there’s always our first trip to Nationals. But if it hadn’t been for the stellar, witty quips, I would have erased the episode from my DVR almost immediately. Hopefully, next week’s super-sized episode fares better in my eyes.

What did you think of the comeback? Did Sue take too much of a backburner role this week, leaving all of her handiwork to amateurs? Did any of the songs inspire you to show some attention to the things or people we often neglect? And can there really be another “biggest episode ever” coming once again?

THE SONGS

“All By Myself” by Celine Dion
Sung by Sunshine Corazon (Charice)
Grade: A-

“Ain’t No Way” by Aretha Franklin
Sung by Mercedes Jones
Grade: A

“I Follow Rivers” by Lykke Li
Sung by Tina Cohen-Chang
Grade: B+

“Turning Tables” by Adele
Sung by Holly Holliday
Grade: B

MEMORABLE MOMENTS

• Brittany and Artie using their respective knowledge of cat disease and white rappers to clinch the decathlon win that sent their team on their way to the finals.
• “I’m still trying to remember his name right now.” – Lauren about Mike
• “Is it because two of them are Asian and Artie wears glasses?” – Puck
• “I bet you’re all wondering why I called you here in the dead of the night when I’m normally out bow hunting for hobos.” – Sue
• “I don’t care. You’re hunky, and I’m what they call predatory gay.” – Sandy
• “Wow, it would be hard to be married to you.” – Sue to Terri
• “We’re only gonna do songs by neglected artists because it’s a night of neglect.” – Will / “Oh, so you mean like me?” – Rachel
• “She’s looser than a thrift store turtleneck and probably just as diseased.” – Sue about Holly
• “Sandy, how do you manage to enter a building without setting off all the fire alarms.” – Sue
• “Seriously, with your size, you easily could have stayed in the air ducts for days.” – Artie to Sunshine
• During Sunshine’s exile, she morphed into a mini Rachel clone. I see a true Battle of the Divas on the horizon.
• “Also, I’m really short. So even when I’m in a group of people, it feels like I’m wandering alone through a forest.” – Sunshine
• “Mercedes, you’re okay with being bumped to the decidedly less glamorous, middle spot?” – Rachel
• “A, I need a bowl of green M&Ms, and by bowl, I mean large bowl, well really, a small barrel. Two, I need humidifiers, lots of humidifiers, a team of humidifiers, whose only job is to make the air that Mercedes breathes more humid. Shhh…I’m not finished. Before every performance, I like to wash my hands. And after doing so, I like to dry them…on a fresh puppy.” – Mercedes
• “Let me tell you something about Will Schuester. That guy has tiny, baby hands. Seriously, it’s weird. Once I saw him trying to pick up a Big Mac; he couldn’t do it. He had to eat it layer by layer.” – Dustin
• I had to rewind for the shocked look of horror on Will’s face when Holly turns down his offer to duet. That will never get old.
• Mercedes’ request that during the day of the benefit her feet never touch the ground. She wanted to be carried in like Celine in her wedding, Cher for her comeback tour and Gaga at the Grammy’s.
• Mike Chang dancing to “Bubbly Toes” by Jack Johnson. Best. Performance. Of. The. Night.
• Realizing that Holly is a better guidance counselor than Emma and a better teacher than Will. The horror of our education system.

Season 2, Episode 17: A Night of Neglect (originally aired April 19, 2011)

Tuesdays at 8pm on Fox

Photographs courtesy of Adam Rose and Fox.

Read more Glee here.

Dancing With The Stars Review: The “Dance Doctor” Travolta is in the House on America Night

What the hell is “America Night”, you may ask? Nothing! It’s nothing. It doesn’t exist! But leave it to the cheeky, genius producers at Dancing With the Stars to make up something like this, and who can argue with them, right? Who is going to be the ass who says: “No! You should NOT celebrate America on your show!” That person might be considered unpatriotic, and we wouldn’t want that on “America Day”, now, would we? The show began with Tom Bergeron pledging allegiance to the Mirror Ball and to America …. LIIIIIVVEE!!!!! …. it’s America Week! (cue that addicting music …da da da da da da daa da da da da dah…)

Tommy B. and Brooke Burke didn’t waste any time getting right to the action; where the couples all danced to songs that salute our country; so I won’t either. Let’s get started …

1. Ralph / Karina:

The dance was a Samba to the always annoying and overplayed to death “Sweet Home Alabama.” Karina wore a sparkly red dress, while confused hairline Hawkeye wore a cowboy hat and a big ole belt. The dance was cute; nothing spectacular; but very apple pie and down home cute. Len said it was lacking in substance; and Bruno ordered Ralph to give him sex. Yes, that happened. Judges Scores: 8/7/8

2. Chris / Cheryl:

In rehearsal footage, Chris imitated Len critiquing them, but it sounded more like Ozzy Ozbourne, as Cheryl pointed out. Their Viennesse Waltz to “America The Beautiful” hit it out of the park. They have such great chemistry, and Cheryl really knows how to choreograph great routines. When he dragged her across the dance floor, it was gorgeous. The judges told Chris they have been underestimating him as a dancer, and that this was his best dance yet. When they received their best score of the season, 9/8/9, Brooke Burke asked: “How does that feel?”

3. Petra / Dmitry:

This couple danced Quickstep to Elvis Presley’s “Viva Las Vegas.” I’m not really sure how exactly this song celebrates America, since it kind of celebrates Las Vegas, but whatever. Their dance was okay, but I have come to the conclusion that she is too tall to dance. Her giraffe-like neck and long body distracts me, and I keep thinking she will fall down. Their movements looked a bit sloppy; and Len made quite possibly one of the strangest comments ever on the show when he said to Petra: “Your head is all wrong; it’s too far over to the left.” Ummm … WHAT??? Judges Scores: 7/7/8.

4. Romeo / Chelsie:

Thankfully, this dude managed to keep all of his clothes on this week and not show off his arms, pecs, chest, legs, or various other body parts to his poor partner who is probably like: “Enough already with whipping out your muscles to me!” Or maybe she likes it, who knows. This guy is a pretty good dancer, he just comes across as a tad too much in love with himself for my taste. Their foxtrot had “swagger,” class, and some very impressive quick steps along the way. Romeo looked like the Monopoly Guy in that outfit though, and Brooke Burke wanted to know “How does it feel?” to tie with Chris and Cheryl with scores of 9/8/9. I wonder how that feels. If only someone would ask …

5. Hines / Kym:

This couple danced a Rumba to “Proud to Be An American”, with a very Officer and a Gentlemen feel to it; even re-enacting the classic ending to the film. The dance felt very smooth, almost like one, long, flowing movement across the floor. Horny Carrie Anne noted Hines’ amazing “hip action”, and with the so far highest scores of the night, guess what Brooke Burke asked this couple about their scores? I bet you can’t guess! I’ll give you one more try … Okay, I’ll tell you. Brooke asked the couple: “How does that feel?” She really did. You know, not for nothing, but this is a very popular, national tv show. You’d think someone could just gently whisper into her ear that it’s okay to ask a different question. Perhaps Tommy B. could say in his gentle, mocking delivery :” You know Brooke, you seem to ask that same question quite a bit. Maybe we could write up another question for you to focus on. How does that sound Brooke? Good girl. Now you get a gold star!” Although, we have seen the results of Brooke Burke attempting to improvise with “jokes”. It ain’t pretty. I guess we will have to stick with “How does that feel?”

6. Kirstie / Maks:

In rehearsal footage, Kirstie and Maks looked like they were having a blast learning their steps. In fact, I think this season is the first time I have seen Maks LAUGH. I didn’t realize that he knew how to smile, or had a sense of humor, or was human. Until he met Kirstie. Their chemistry is great. There is a flirty, fun, kidding around nature to it that just screams “fun!” It is clear that they really enjoy each other’s company and care about each other, and that is infectious to watch. In order to make sure they didn’t have another shoe or falling down mishap again, Kirstie brought in her best buddy John Travolta (a.k.a. “The Dance Doctor”) for some help. This would have been awesome, except he didn’t do any dancing. Instead, they turned it into a lame comedy bit where he stood there giving out advice about what shoes to wear so they don’t fall off (hightop sneakers.) Note to DWTS: if you’re going to have an appearance from John Travolta, who is known for his dancing, MAKE HIM DANCE! I wanted to see a Travolta/Kirstie ditty, at least during their rehearsal footage. Missed opportunity! As far as the couple’s performance, the Foxtrot to “American Woman” was a lot of fun to watch, and there were no accidents this time around. I thought the outfit they put Kirstie in was horrible, unflattering, and made no sense really. It was the kind of outfit that a belly dancer might wear – as the entire stomache area was exposed with a clear lining material. Not a good look. Maks, on the other hand, showed off his …ummm… patriotism … with an American flag painted onto his naked hip; which was visible due to his entirely naked chest / pants only costume. All I can say is, no wonder Kirstie likes him so much. Damn! As for Len, the dance was not his “cup of tea”. Bruno called them “dirty” and loved it. Judges Scores: 8/7/8.

7. Kendra / Louis:

Sigh. Where shall I begin? Whiny McWhinypants (Kendra) started off by telling the cameras and her partner how she felt like she was being “attacked” last week by Carrie Anne saying she was afraid to be elegant. She follows up this sentence with: “I’m not a-fuc**ng fraid of elegance!” Well, alrighty then. Does anyone else find that statement ironic? Alanis Morissette? Anyone? Then the whiner continued to say that when Carrie Anne brought up elegance, it made her feel like “trash.” Are you freakin kidding me? I do not understand this woman at ALL. Let me see if I have this right: Being a Playboy playmate, a stripper, and being on a reality show that is based around being a playtoy for Hugh Hefner all make you feel GOOD?  A harmless comment about elegance from a judge on DWTS makes you feel like trash? Okay. I just wanted to make sure I had that right. In the end, Whinypants and her partner Silly Brillo Pad Head performed a Foxtrot to “Yankee Doodle Dandy.” Carrie Anne, of course, loved it and called Kendra “a fighter.” (Gag) When Brooke Burke asked Kendra “how do you feel about Carrie Anne’s comment last week?” (DUH!), Kendra actually mumbled something about it being okay now because it’s no longer “that time of the month.” Ummm, lady, did you just tell everyone on national tv that you had your period last week? You know what that is, don’t you folks? That right there is ELEGANCE! (And, oh, by the way, their dance was pretty cute.) Judges Scores: 8/7/7

8. Chelsea / Mark:

Anyone who can make me enjoy a song by Miley Cyrus (“Party in the USA”) is someone who can DANCE! I still have no clue who this Chelsea person is, proably because I don’t even know where to locate the Disney Channel on my TV, but she can really dance. Their Samba was confident, fun, and filled with energy and enthusiasm. For me, it was the dance of the night. Len made yet another bizarre comment here with: “Yum yum, what a bum!” Whaaatttt??? I guess that means he liked it. Brooke Burke asked this couple about 14 questions in a row. Perhaps the battery they put inside her back to keep her alive went batty. Something happened. It was quite humorous.

Results Show:

Blah blah blah, co-host banter. Blah blah blah, more filler. Blah blah blah, judges rattled on about something having something to do with dance. Blah blah blah, watch Romeo and his partner dance again. Blah blah blah, Toby Keith sings some boring country song. Blah blah blah, he sings another one. Blah blah blah, montages. Line-dancing. Blah blah blah, last .07 seconds of the show, they finally eliminate someone. It is Petra. She goes home. Well, first she cries and gets a bit emotional, then she goes home. It is always a shame when someone who seems like such a genuine, sweet person has to leave the show. Petra was lovely, and elegant. For real. Perhaps Kendra should take a lesson from her on what that means.

Season 12, Episode 8 and 9 (originally aired April 18 and April 19, 2011)

For more on Dancing With the Stars, click here.

Mondays at 8/7c, Tuesdays at 9/8c, on ABC.

Photographs courtesy of ABC and Adam Taylor.

The Office Review: Training Day

“Training Day” marks a changing of the guard for The Office, not to mention Steve Carell’s swan song for the series. But Greg Daniels is not sending Carell out on a rail though and is instead finishing season seven in the strongest way possible: Will Ferrell.

After Michael’s announcement that he will be leaving Dunder Mifflin, the company has finally found an adequate replacement in D’angelo Vickers (Will Ferrell) and the two plan to meet at the bar inside D’angelo’s hotel. In classic Michael Scott fashion, the two strike up a conversation without even knowing who one another is. Michael finally decides to give D’angelo a call to check in and when his phone rings, he steps away to answer the call. The scene becomes meta when they begin having another conversation on the phone, right next to each other, in the same bar without either of them being the wiser. The two eventually catch up with real-time and the ball officially gets rolling.

The next day finds D’angelo getting up to speed with the ins and outs of the Scranton office by shadowing Michael and getting to know the team; Andy becomes the “funny guy,” Dwight feels outcast by getting stepped over for the management position, and Kelly sets up a convenient “meet-cute” by bumping into D’angelo with an armful of files. The rest of the day is spent by the team in an all-out suck-up fest, each of them trying to put their best foot forward with D’angelo (“We only have one kid, but she poops for four!”, “The southwest? That’s my favorite region!”, “My boyfriend is a senator!”) All of this puts a bad taste in Michael’s mouth as he watches longingly from a distance as everyone seems to transition away from him much smoother than he could have possibly imagined. It’s as if they didn’t ever need him to begin with. He tries to interrupt the love fest with a classically weak, “You decide to have an orgy without me? I call middle!” but does little to turn the tide.

The two butt heads again when they passive-aggressively argue over how Erin should answer the phone (“Dunder Mifflin, this is Erin” versus “Dunder Mifflin, how may I help you?”) causing her to completely shut down, and the conflict accelerates further when D’angelo brings in the best reviewed barber on Yelp to shave him in the office and Michael buys a small can of Barbisol, getting Erin to shave him in an insane, hilarious one-upmanship competition. Meanwhile, Andy has woefully become D’angelo’s dancing monkey and every time he asks him, “Make me laugh,” Andy’s attempts at humor get more and more desperate, the peak of which finds him flailing about with cheese puffs and eating dish soap at the oafish request of D’angelo.

During all this, Dwight continues his secret coup but inadvertently discovers that Michael never referred him for the management position, which will no doubt come back to haunt Michael sooner rather than later. It all comes to a head when Michael starts passing out a mid-afternoon snack of PB&J sandwiches, despite D’angelo’s peanut allergy. “There are nut particles circulating all around this office!” D’angelo screams as Michael tosses the sandwiches freely about the room. D’angelo calls an emergency meeting in the conference room to get away from the nuts, but Michael tries to convince the office to not join. They do, of course, and Michael gives up, but not before D’angelo runs out and asks him for some pointers, which turns into a dopey heart-to-heart ending with the two hugging in what can only be described as “standing reverse-cowgirl”.  “Why did you have to be so good?” Michael laments as the homo-erotic euphemisms fly fast and furious.

Will Ferrell’s addition to the final episodes of this season is a real shot in the arm for the series. And even though his time is limited, or it at least appears that way, time with Will Ferrell is always time well spent.

Season 7, Episode 19: “Training Day” (originally aired April 14, 2011)

Don’t miss Steve Carell’s last days at The Office, Thursdays at 9/8c on NBC

Images courtesy of NBC and IMDbPro

The Amazing Race Review: Small Stomachs and Weak Bladders

On this week’s episode of The Amazing Race, the teams travel to Vienna, Austria, to discover how the Governator got to be such a mighty man and during the course of their travels they get the chance to carry around some of Freud’s heavy baggage. And while Jet and Cord make the choice to make yet another bad decision, Gary and Mallory are brought to their knees by a new car and a local delicacy.

On last week’s episode, Cowboys Jet and Cord made a critical time mistake and managed to schedule for themselves a flight putting them a solid hour behind all the other teams. This week, the Cowboys revisit a little history as all the teams prepare to fly out of Calcutta and to the lovely streets of Austria. One after another the teams arrive at the airport to book their flight. Globetrotters, Gary/Mallory, Kent/Vyxsen, Zev/Justin, and Kisha/Jen all schedule the same trip itinerary to Vienna, with two connections. This flight is scheduled to arrive in the host city at 5:35am. The Cowboys, fresh from their near catastrophic flight mess-up, decide that they don’t like the odds of a flight with two connections, because really all you need is one missed connection to ruin your day. The Cowboys think this flight is just too risky and decide to gamble and choose another flight which will take them straight to Vienna but would put them at a half an hour disadvantage if the other flight arrives on time.

The first flight does in fact arrive on time, and the six teams race to the parking lot where they become part of Ford Focus’s 2012 campaign. The “task” is for teams to drive backward in the car and using the rear-facing camera to read the clue to their next destination written on the ground behind them. The clue is Schloss Schallaburg, and surprisingly many of the teams have problems with this. Kent/Vyxsin’s problems seem to stem from underlying issues these two appear to be having. It takes a while for the Globetrotters to get it but they eventually do. And Gary/Mallory are completely stuck, they didn’t seem to get that their clue is outside of the car, and instead they are looking for the clue on the dashboard; which, of course, they never find. They finally get the point and leave shortly before the Cowboys arrive.

For the challenge this week, the teams have to choose between two tasks, a Long Hard Walk or a Quick and Easy Meal. For Long Hard Walk the teams must travel to the home of Sigmund Freud where they must find a couch and then carry it to the University of Vienna. In Quick and Easy Meal, the teams must travel to a giant Ferris wheel restaurant where they have to eat two local meals in the 12 minute rotation of their dining car. In theory, this seems like an easy challenge but add in a whole bunch of fried food and a decadent slice of chocolate cake and you have a meal that none of the three teams who choose it can complete. Not that that’s going to stop them from saying they did. Kisha/Jen and Zev/Justin both pretend that they have completed the task when asked by their fellow racers, thereby securing themselves at least a 12 minute safety net when these teams probably won’t finish the task. Unfortunately, Kisha/Jen, Zev/Justin, and Gary/Mallory all fail this task and continue on to carry the couches with an additional couple of pounds of food in their stomachs weighing them down.

There are some things that are disturbing to see, no matter where they occur. So when Flight Time decides to urinate against the outside of the Vienna National Museum I am both upset and completely disgusted. What in the world is wrong with you, you trifling, trifling man? Unfortunately, I’m not a stranger to seeing men pee in public places, call it a downside of city living. But even then it’s no less disturbing to see a guy peeing against a garbage bin, than to see a contestant urinate against a historic building in a foreign country that is hosting you. That’s just wrong, it feels like a personal affront, especially when I’m sure they would have let you use the bathroom inside. Don’t have the time? Pee before you get off the plane.

Back to the challenge, all the teams are now doing the Long Hard Walk task, with the Globetrotters, Kent/Vyxsin, and the Cowboys unburdened by an unconsumed meal. Kent/Vyxsin have trouble carrying the couch and of course, Kent is the one to complain and whine about it the whole time. He starts sulking when Vyxsin tells him to take the break he so obviously needs, then when they continue on he whines about how heavy the couch is. There’s no pleasing him. Zev/Justin get some wrong directions and end up taking the couch to the wrong address; so that means those three flights of stairs they lugged that heavy thing up over was completely unnecessary. Their frustration is understood.

The pit stop this week is Villa Trapp, the home of the Von Trap Family who inspired the movie The Sound of Music. In spite of their bad directions and slight delay, Zev and Justin are the first team to arrive and each win a new 2012 Ford Focus. They are, of course, psyched. The Globetrotters come in a close second. It was the little things that counted for Gary and Mallory as their series of miniature mishaps took the toll and left them in last place. But fortunately for them, this is a non-elimination leg and the two will continue on, although with a Speed Bump in the next leg. They’ll have to put some of that Cowboy can-do in it if they hope to continue on.

Here are the rankings:
1. Zev/Justin: each winning a 2012 Ford Focus
2. The Globetrotters
3. Kent/Vyxsin
4. Kisha/Jen
5. Jet/Cord
6. Gary/Mallory- who will receive a Speed Bump on the next leg

Until next week!

Season 18, Episode 8: “I Cannot Deal With Your Psycho Behavior” (originally aired April 17, 2011)

The Amazing Race airs Sundays at 8/7c on CBS.

Images courtesy of CBS.

Hellcats: Interview with Executive Producer Kevin Murphy and Cast

The CW network hosted an informative question-and-answer session in their Burbank headquarters last week, and I was privileged to attend. Hellcats Executive Producer Kevin Murphy, along with cast members Aly Michalka (“Marti”), AJ Michalka (“Deirdre”), Robbie Jones (“Lewis”), Matt Barr (“Dan”), and Heather Hemmens (“Alice”), discussed their experience on the show and hinted at what’s in store for future episodes.

The Hellcats cheer squad of Lancer University is a collective of competitive, multi-talented athletes, and the cast admitted to being intimidated by the choreography at first. “These people are insane,” said Aly about the real-life cheerleaders who serve as body doubles for the cast. “These girls have been doing this since [age] six or seven…It’s a passion. It’s a lifestyle. It’s a form of art.” Each of the female actors admitted to a newfound appreciation for the world of cheering and reported feeling that the moves come more naturally than they used to. While the pilot episode of the show demanded more than a week of training, they are now afforded only one or two days to prepare for each shoot. The men complimented their cast mates on their dedication to learning the craft; Matt admitted that the guys have their weekends off to “eat doughnuts” while the ladies must work diligently through the weekends to master their moves.

Murphy assured us that the end of this season will centralize family storylines and quality cheering. In addition to the surprise twists in store for viewers and a resolution of the cheating scandal before the finale, guest stars and phenomenal directors continue to lend their efforts to the project. Popular singer and expert dancer Ciara had a blast and fit in seamlessly with the cast during her recent stint on-set, and dance icon Debbie Allen will return to direct another episode in May. “Pretty much every director came back” and enjoyed their experience, Murphy was proud to say. The Hellcats have tackled everything from country line dancing to hip hop, and they will continue to explore the wide range of dance forms in “visually kinetic numbers” as the series goes on, reported Murphy. Viewers can look forward to a Bob Fosse tribute complete with a 50-piece live orchestra, in addition to more original tunes from multi-talented singer-songwriter Dan Bern and a routine zombie invasion.  As far as Murphy is concerned, impressive choreography and a strong soundtrack are the heartbeat of the program, but the cheer routines aren’t the half of it.

Aly discussed Marti’s relationships with professor Julian Parish and student filmmaker Dan. Her “interesting and sexy” developing connection with the intellectual and mature Julian conflicts with the “turn-on” of seeing Marti and Dan together, Aly explained, noting that she prefers her character’s bond with Dan. Upcoming episodes will focus less on the love triangle but return to it eventually, after some exploration of Marti’s family issues. Her real life sister AJ is new to the cast as Deirdre; she’s a key link to unlocking revelations about their broken family. “Marti is desperate to find answers,” Aly argued. She’s finally willing to find out “the terrible truth” from her mother regarding her dad and their family history. Of course, Julian has a mysterious past of his own, which is yet to be fully revealed. “This show is all about secrets,” said Aly.

Hellcats airs Tuesdays at 9/8c on The CW.

Images courtesy of  Jack Rowand, Sergei Bachlakov, The CW and IMDbPro.

Scream 4 Review: I Scream, You Scream, We All Scream Four

Scream 4, or “Scre4m” if you prefer, is arguably the best 4th sequel in horror movie history. It wasn’t hard to achieve such a title, but still, it’s something.

You can’t smell the sarcasm? That’s because there isn’t any.

It’s definitely the best in the franchise since the first Scream. It doesn’t try to be better than the original either. It just tries to be a bloody, murderous romp that all horror film lovers will enjoy. Scre4m is smart, slick, and scary, but it’s also silly, gory and lots of stabby fun.

After ten years, Sidney Prescott (Neve Campbell) is living a relatively normal life, thanks in part to her writing a book about her struggles with costumed maniac killers. She comes back to Woodsboro during a book tour, but so does her nemesis the Ghostface Killer (do not confuse with the rapper).

Are teens going to die? Yes. Are Courtney Cox and David Arquette going to be running away from, and into, danger? Yes.

Emma Roberts plays Sidney’s cousin Jill Roberts, who also now lives in Woodsboro (you do need to suspend your disbelief a little bit) and is also being tormented by strange calls asking what her favorite scary movie is.  The new teens also targeted by the killer are played by recognizable thespians such as Hayden Panettiere and Rory Culkin.

Scream 4 brings the franchise back to suburban Woodsboro for the first time and it feels so right.  As the other sequels moved further away from the original, to college and then Hollywood,  bringing it back to where it all started gives the movie a nostalgic feeling  and forces comparisons to the original.

Scream not only relaunched the horror/slasher film as we know it, it was also a very clever self referential film. The original was meta before meta was a known word to 14-year-olds. Scream 4 ramps up the references to other horror movies, to itself, and even to the faux Scream movie Stab, which is now up to 7 installments. Some might find the constant references a bit too much, given they take up as much screen time as any of the characters or plot does, but I found the movie-within-a-movie, references-within-references, postmodern-everything-but-the-kitchen-sink approach fun and witty. If there is any movie that can get away with this sort of thing it’s a Scream movie. Meta-Scream is meta, it always has been, and Scream 4 takes it to a whole new level.

The film is full of bit parts and cameos by some recognizable actors. Alison Brie makes an appearance as Sidney’s publicist. Adam Brody and Anthony Anderson play Woodsboro cops. Other cameos include: Kristen Bell, Anna Paquin, Lucy Hale and Shenae Grimes.  That said, Scream 4 brings back all the old characters and it leaves very little time to get to know the new ones.

In the original we got to know the group of teenage friends at Woodsboro High but in the fourth installment, between the original survivors, the new peripheral characters, the killings, the horror movie homages, there just isn’t any time for the audience to get to know the new batch of youngsters. Surprisingly Hayden Panettier does a fantastic job as the horror movie junky, wise-cracking Kirby. I was left wanting to see her have more screen time. I wasn’t a Haydan fan before, but I might be now.

When it comes to horror Scream is always changing the rules. New rules for horror films are always discussed in Scream movies and they are constantly changing with each sequel. Scream 4 is no different, except it doesn’t follow the rules laid out on screen and doesn’t follow the rules of classic slasher films either. The film expertly sets up expectations and then ignores them. By doing this the film teases us with each stabbing, because we don’t know what to expect, and it then doesn’t have to outdo itself with outlandish over the top violence.

Scream 4 doesn’t have a cat jump out of a closet for a cheap thrill. It just has Ghostface there with a knife. With the meta-ness of dialogue making things complicated, the movie turns the tables with action and keeps the blood-and-guts killings simple and shocking. But don’t worry, the body count does get quite high. Surprisingly and sadly there is no sex in Scream 4, which was a conscience decision I imagine, but I still missed it. It seems like slasher films should have a little sex. The closest it comes to it is Alison Brie’s cleavage (I’m not complaining about that).

From start to finish it is one hell of a ride. If you can’t have fun with this one, you don’t like horror movies (or at least the Scream franchise). It’s made by people who respect the genre and love what they do and it shows on the screen. Ultimately I wouldn’t want any more sequels and have it go back into a downward spiral like it did with Scream 3. But since this is Scream we are talking about here, it would seem to go against the rules if they didn’t make one or maybe three more, right?

Images courtesy of Phil Bray and the Weinstein Company

Game of Thrones Review: Winter Is Here

This week HBO debuted its highly anticipated new drama series Game of Thrones. Based on the Song of Ice and Fire book series by George R.R. Martin, who also serves as co-executive producer, the show is a medieval epic, light on the fantasy and heavy on the politics.

The series begins with a Night’s Watchmen witnessing his companions killed by mysterious creatures north of the Wall. He’s tracked down outside of Winterfell and brought for justice as a deserter. Lord Eddard “Ned” Stark (Sean Bean) delivers his sentence, having his sons watch.  He later raises concerns about the dangers in the lawless lands north of the Wall and learns from his wife Catelyn (Michelle Fairley) that his mentor, Jon Arryn, has died in the Westeros capital of King’s Landing. King Robert (Mark Addy) is now venturing north to offer Arryn’s position as the King’s Hand to Stark.

Across the Narrow Sea in the region of Pentos, Viserys Targaryen (Harry Lloyd), who views himself as rightful king, hatches a plan to win back the iron throne by forging an alliance with the nomadic Dothraki warriors through a wedding between their leader, Khal Drogo (Jason Momoa, Stargate Atlantis), and his own sister Daenerys (Emilia Clarke).

King Robert arrives at Winterfell with his wife, Queen Cersei (Lena Headey, Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles), her twin brother Jaime (Nikolaj Coster-Waldau), dwarf brother Tyrion (Peter Dinklage) and son and heir 12-year-old Joffrey. Queen Cersei doesn’t appear to be too fond of Winterfell, but expresses to Catelyn that her son the Stark’s eldest daughter will be a good match soon. Stark somewhat reluctantly prepares to leave for King’s Landing, as Jon Snow (Kit Harington), his illegitimate son, decides to travel north to Castle Black to join the Night’s Watch at the urging of Tyrion. A last minute act of murder reveals things are not quite as simple as they seem in the kingdom of Westeros.

Show creators David Benioff and D.B. Weiss stay remarkably true to the source material, no doubt under the close advisory of Martin himself, which serves the show well. Maybe it’s because I’ve read the first two books that this entry underwhelmed me slightly. Ultimately I would’ve been happier if they played up the fantasy elements a little more, which even in the books remain on the fringe of everything else. Most likely to draw comparisons to Starz new sword & sorcery epic Camelot, I’d have to say that show right now trumps this one, but I have hopes for the future of the season.

The acting ensemble in Game of Thrones impressed me at every turn. Sean Bean portrays a man carrying the burdens of responsibility with a tortured grace that could be potentially heartbreaking to watch unravel. I’m looking forward to seeing more of the Stark sons and daughters, who in this first hour spend only a few moments on screen, sharing them with their knew pets, a litter of rescued direwolf pups from the forest. I’m glad to see Lena Headey back on the small screen, even if it is in the creepily incestuous role with her brother, relatively unknown Nikolaj Coster-Waldau. The scenes between newlyweds Jason Momoa and Emilia Clarke were easily the most fascinating, she a woman not prone to speak her mind thrust into a situation that would leave many at a loss for words, and he without the language to communicate with her, or maybe even the desire to do so.

“Winter is Coming” is an intriguing first of ten episodes, but didn’t reach out and grab me the way other HBO dramas of the last few years have. It lacks the visceral sex appeal of True Blood and doesn’t even quite match the level of intrigue of Boardwalk Empire. Still, if the season preview is any indication, there’s a lot more in store for the citizens of Westeros in weeks to come, none of it easy. I’m willing to travel that road with them.

Season 1, Episode 1 “Winter is Coming” (Original air date April 17, 2011)

Game of Thrones airs Sundays at 9/8c on HBO.

Images courtesy of Nick Briggs and HBO.

 

 

NBC Universal Summer Press Day: More Than One Way To Beat The Heat

True television devotees often eschew the attitude of sun-seeking beachcombers looking forward to the warmer season, and instead dread the onset of summer because of its monotonous reruns. Those more prone to indoor entertainment needn’t fret, however, because plenty of new programming this year is prime for DVR storage and marathon viewing, even on the brightest of days. A slew of shows premiering this summer on NBC and its affiliated cable networks were featured in a recent press conference at the Langham Huntington Hotel and Spa in Pasadena, with the stars and producers on hand and eager to discuss the upcoming projects to a crowded room of reporters from media outlets across the country, including Poptimal.

Oxygen’s The World According to Paris features Hollywood socialite and media glamazon Paris Hilton in a way, insisted Hilton herself, she’s never been seen before. Instead of focusing on the silver spoon-fed, baby-voiced persona Hilton has embodied in the past, especially on reality shows like The Simple Life that made her a household name, The World According to Paris will strip away the filtered lens and manipulated characterization to show viewers what Hilton’s life is really like, million-dollar warts and all.

“This show is not like anything I’ve ever done. [On] The Simple Life, I was playing a character and I was a fish out of water living in places that wasn’t my world,” Hilton said. “Now, people will get to see my real world: my friends, my relationships, and my business and everything that goes on … it’s just a behind-the-scenes look at my life and people will get to see who I really am.”

Executive producer Arthur Smith stressed the go-with-the-flow spontaneity of the show’s formula, or lack thereof, that gives Hilton’s fans the voyeuristic sense of spending the day with her instead of just watching her on television.

“There’s no format to the show. This is the real Paris … People are going to be really, really surprised. I was surprised … I think her fans are going to just be blown away,” Smith began, before later adding, “It [really] is The World According to Paris. We’re inside Paris’ head throughout the show. Paris is the narrator of the show, so in the middle of scenes you’re going to hear what’s going on in her mind, which is a really interesting and very fresh way of doing the show. It really doesn’t feel like anything else.”

Hilton explained how her public mishaps over the years and the milestone of turning 30 this past February helped her reach the point of willingness to bare herself to this extent on television.

“I feel like before, I would have never done a show like this, five, ten years ago. I wasn’t really comfortable with myself … I wasn’t ready,” Hilton said. “I’ve been through so much, I have nothing to hide. It’s like, ‘What else could happen?’”

Mom Kathy Hilton, set to make regular appearances on the show, agrees with her daughter’s why not? attitude regarding the show’s reportedly candid content, and even gave an inadvertent sneak preview for the mother-daughter banter viewers can expect.

“It’s not planned,” she confirmed. “We just move throughout the day, whatever is happening that day and there’s always surprises and excitement and drama and laughter and craziness, but, you know, why not share it with you instead of having it be reported on one of these shows that tweak it…”

“Tweet,” the younger Hilton quickly corrected.

“Tweet!” the elder laughed. “Tweet. I don’t know.”

Another aspect of the reality genre the NBC family is offering this summer is a game-show spin on an increasingly trendy topic. Former Antiques Roadshow host Lara Spencer is introducing It’s Worth What?, an “alternative” series that focuses on what executive producer Roy Bank calls America’s “fascination” with “the value of stuff.”

“[This is] what’s working right now in so many places on television,” Bank said. “The natural evolution of that was, ‘Why not a game show?’”

Host Cedric The Entertainer will walk pairs of contestants through a series of challenges that all involve determining the value of various knick-knacks, collectibles, antiques and high-priced luxury items. If successful in each challenge, contestants can win up to $1 million.

Cedric discussed his role as emcee, and how he’s looking forward to using his comedic skills in a niche he hadn’t explored before, but a few colleagues had.

“After watching Howie [Mandel] do Deal Or No Deal and Jeff Foxworthy [do Are You Smarter Than A 5^th Grader], comedians playing in that world of prime-time game shows, this was just really exciting, and it was fun,” Cedric began. “It’s a game show, but [also] a variety show. I get to do some characters on here.”

Spencer had no problem appraising Cedric’s talent (as an, ahem, entertainer) as valuable enough to host a show about, well, value appraising. She then explained how the game show twist helps Cedric implement his experience making people laugh in a way other shows about this topic can’t offer.

“Look at him!” Spencer exclaimed, gesturing to Cedric. “He is dapper, he’s funny, he’s hip and he’s actually a massive consumer. He would do the show justice. He actually really is interested in the value of stuff, he’s so funny and this is a show that would allow him to do what he does best, which is make us laugh, but also tap into that cultural phenomenon that started with Antiques Roadshow and now with American Pickers and Pawn Stars … and now we’re taking that and making a giant, network hit, and so we needed a giant, network star to host it.”

Perhaps the only thing that doesn’t come with a price tag is love, and it wouldn’t be summer, after all, without a little romance. This season, NBC is broadcasting their matchmaking skills with Love in the Wild, an adventurous new dating series that puts single contestants to the physical and emotional brink as they look for love in the midst of the Costa Rican jungle.

Each week, pairs of contestants will perform daring stunts of varying danger, encountering bat-infested caves, crocodile-ridden waters, and 200-foot waterfalls along the way. A winning couple will be crowned each week, while the others will have the opportunity to switch partners and look for a more compatible match both on and off the playing field. With two lovelorn adventure-seekers sent home each week, the series will end with one couple left standing, hopefully having found Love in the Wild.

When asked about the less-than-stellar track record of most reality show couples, particularly from The Bachelor, host Darren McMullen was quick to dispel Wild’s inevitable comparisons to preceding dating shows and stress the authenticity of Wild’s objective.

“My understanding of The Bachelor is that it takes a very kind of fluffy, romantic picture of a relationship, but it’s not real,” McMullen said. “A lot of [those] people might go back to the real world and deal with the stresses of everyday life and realize that life, and a relationship, isn’t limo rides and champagne dinners and beautiful adventures. [Love in the Wild] is putting them through real-life situations, testing their stress levels and really seeing if they can work together as a team. And we saw that happen week after week. It actually surprised me just how many actual couples we did have.”

David Goldberg, chairman of Endemol North America, the company producing Wild, was quick to agree with McMullen’s assessment and expand on it by discussing the difference in not only the show’s intentions, but also the contestants’.

“The contestants, or the people, on this show are real people. They are people that have regular jobs. They are firemen. They are policemen. They are lawyers. They are doctors. And in many cases they aren’t your typical reality contestants who just want to come on these shows and rip off their clothes and show their bodies and get their 15 minutes of fame,” Goldberg stated. “I think the unique part about the cast of this show is they legitimately have had months and years of not being able to find people they connect to, and they saw this as an opportunity to come on a show and go through this adventure and legitimately see if they could find a soul mate.”

In addition to their new spin on the game show and dating competition genres, NBC is also offering their answer to the singing contest by launching The Voice, an American model of the Dutch series The Voice of Holland. Debuting April 26, The Voice features four superstar recording artists from different musical genres as they form teams of eight contestants each, all vying for the winning title as the ultimate Voice. Gnarls Barkley vocalist Cee Lo Green, Maroon 5 frontman Adam Levine, country chart-topper Blake Shelton and international pop star Christina Aguilera will join host Carson Daly on the quest for the country’s most promising singer.

What makes The Voice different from other shows of its ilk is the fact that the initial round of competition features “blind auditions” in which the singers perform to the coaches’ turned backs. If they like what they hear, the coaches can turn around to express interest in working with that particular singer throughout the season.

Green explained how this twist intrigued him and provided reason to join The Voice after turning down a similar offer from FOX’s upcoming The X Factor, and went as far to say he’s looking forward to the sense of competition The Voice will create amongst its counterparts – particularly, a rejuvenated American Idol.

 “Quite honestly, I was unfamiliar with the concept of X Factor. I knew the name. I know the parties involved, but as an enterpriser I didn’t see where it was distinctive enough, and quite honestly I felt like prior to that, American Idol and these other entities had run their course,” Green began. “This was, of course, prior to the new casting with Steven Tyler and Jennifer Lopez, and they actually have done a great job because I’m a fan of Steven as well, so they have actually turned that show around and done a great job, which is great for us because not only do we have a competitive spirit amongst ourselves, we’ll compete with these other shows as well.”

Also happy to be on board is Daly, who says his entire career, including his ten-year stint hosting the late-night talk show Last Call with Carson Daly, seems to be culminating in the opportunity to oversee the sequence of events during The Voice, and hopefully help aspiring talent break into the mainstream.

 “I have spent a lot of my time trying to shine a spotlight on new artists, and I have been able to do that on Last Call. To [now] be able to do that in prime time at this level with these co-workers and this level of production all in the name of excellent story telling and shining a light on new artists has been incredible. It’s been unbelievable … and the talent is that good.”

No matter how good the talent, Joan Rivers and her squad of Fashion Police will dissect any starlet’s wardrobe with the caustic tongue and reckless verbal abandon that Rivers has made her trademark for decades. Rivers’ co-hosts Kelly Osbourne, George Kotsiopoulos and co-executive producer and daughter Melissa Rivers, joined her in discussing how their sartorial criticism of the stars – from A-list to Z-list – has garnered some surprising support on and off the red carpet.

Osbourne said some of their more high-profile targets are in fact the ones with the best senses of humor, an attribute needed when it comes to being the object of Joan Rivers’ criticism.

“You would be really, really surprised,” Osbourne insisted.  “The biggest names in Hollywood come up to us and they are like, ‘We love the show. We loved it when Joan called me a whore.’”

“That was just Tom Cruise,” Rivers dryly interjected.

Used to her mothers’ acerbic wit, Melissa breezily continued the topic, agreeing that it’s often some of the more successful celebrities who take Rivers’ advice without offense, and even to heart. The less famous targets, according to Osbourne, are the ones who get defensive.

“If there’s like one person that normally we really wouldn’t talk about, hasn’t worked a lot recently or is just not that big of a name, sometimes we put them into the show just, you know, to give it a chance to see how the audience will react to it, and it’s them who has the problem,” Osbourne said.  “They don’t like it. And we say, ‘You should be happy people are talking about you. That’s what you want.’”

Rivers then prompted Melissa to describe an incident when one of the most successful actors in Hollywood sought Joan’s advice in person on the red carpet, supporting Osbourne’s point.

“Jim Carrey one time came up to my mom at the Golden Globes, and he had a pocket square, and he walks up and goes, ‘Pocket square or no pocket square?’ And she goes, ‘No pocket square.’  He takes it out and throws it on the ground and walks away. You know, he gets it.”

Despite their no-holds-barred evaluation of the most coveted and ridiculed wardrobes in Hollywood, the cast of Fashion Police are adamant their criticism is never meant to be harmful.

“I am not there to tell jokes.  Joan is. That’s her job. And I am not there to character assassinate anyone.  But I’m also not going to lie, either, so I just state my opinion on what it is they are wearing, not the person,” Osbourne said.

“I really make it a policy that nothing ever becomes about a character assassination,” Melissa agrees. “Somebody can say that’s a joke and that’s funny, but we’re talking about clothing.”

Catch the Fashion Police making weekly arrests, only on E!

If sand between your toes or perpetual mosquito bites isn’t your idea of a good time, don’t dread the arrival of summer. While everyone else is prematurely aging outside, the NBC family is offering plenty of alternatives to the summer heat – no sunblock required.

The World According to Paris premieres Wednesday, June 1 at 10/9c on Oxygen.

The Voice premieres Tuesday, April 26 at 9/8c on NBC.

Premieres of Love in the Wild and It’s Worth What air this summer on NBC.

Don’t miss Fashion Police Fridays at 10:30/9:30c on E!

Photos by Erin Biglow and Gabe Callahan.

King Of Comedy Cedric The Entertainer talks to Poptimal.com about his new show "It's Worth What?" at NBC Press Day King Of Comedy Cedric The Entertainer talks to Poptimal.com about his new show "It's Worth What?" at NBC Press Day	Executive Producer Lara Spencer (The Insider, Entertainment Tonight) of "It's Worth What?" Executive Producer Lara Spencer (The Insider, Entertainment Tonight) of "It's Worth What?"	Lara Spencer, Cedric The Entertainer, Roy Bank talk about their new show "It's Worth What?" Lara Spencer, Cedric The Entertainer, Roy Bank talk about their new show "It's Worth What?"
Executive Producer Lara Spencer And Producer Roy Bank Executive Producer Lara Spencer And Producer Roy Bank	Paris Hilton dishes about her new show, The World According To Paris Paris Hilton dishes about her new show, The World According To Paris	NBC's The World According to Paris: Kathy Hilton, Paris Hilton, and Executive Producer Arthur Smith NBC's The World According to Paris: Kathy Hilton, Paris Hilton, and Executive Producer Arthur Smith
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NBC's The Voice's Mark Burnett, Executive Producer Cee Lo Green, Universal Badass/Coach Blake Shelton, Country Star/Coach NBC's The Voice's Mark Burnett, Executive Producer Cee Lo Green, Universal Badass/Coach Blake Shelton, Country Star/Coach	NBC's The Voice's Mark Burnett talks with Poptimal.com at NBC's Press Day NBC's The Voice's Mark Burnett talks with Poptimal.com at NBC's Press Day	The sometimes weird but undoubtedly talented Cee Lo Green (F-You) The sometimes weird but undoubtedly talented Cee Lo Green (F-You)
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Fashion Police's Kelly Osbourne, Joan Rivers, Melissa Rivers and George Kotsiopoulos Fashion Police's Kelly Osbourne, Joan Rivers, Melissa Rivers and George Kotsiopoulos	Fashion Police's Kelly Osbourne Fashion Police's Kelly Osbourne	Fashion Police's Joan Rivers still getting it done and chatting it up with Poptimal.com Fashion Police's Joan Rivers still getting it done and chatting it up with Poptimal.com
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Celebrity Apprentice Review: Steaks in High Places

The seventh week of Celebrity Apprentice opens with a steaming hot Meat Loaf dreading a confrontation with Gary, whom everyone fears has escaped yet another elimination. Star stokes the fire and is practically munching on popcorn as they wait to see who made it back from the boardroom. When Gary walks in, the men are visibly annoyed, while the women act like they’ve just been handed the most precious gift in the world. “Gary Busey is a hoot to me…He is torturing the guys, and I love it,” NeNe admits. The guys aren’t the only ones being tortured. John Rich confronts Gary and says, “You’re extremely smart, so you’re either crazy or a saboteur, and I don’t think you’re crazy.” Gary vows to improve, which is almost tragic, since we know he’s simply not capable of delivering what his team expects. At this point, I sincerely hope he’s being paid handsomely by Trump to take down the men’s team and provoke each of the players to anger in order to ruin their chances of ever appearing in the public eye again. If that’s the case, he’s doing a great job so far.

Mr. Trump introduces Todd and Bruce Simon of Omaha Steaks to the contestants; their challenge this week is – you guessed it! – to create a display advertising the brand. The players are told to create three full meals each from the Omaha Steaks line of food products and complete a cooking demonstration in front of a live audience. Star is inexplicably excited; her stomach was cut in half years ago, so I can’t imagine eating is her favorite hobby anymore. It’s mine, however, so I’m excited to see the results of their efforts. Hope volunteers for the Project Manager role and tells Trump she’s a steak eater, though she just confided to the camera that she neither eats red meat nor cooks food in general (nor eats food, presumably). Gary assumes the role of leader of his team and tells viewers he has “an internal wealth of knowledge” but is not going to “let the cat out of the bag” before hissing like a cat at the camera. His first move as PM is to assign the task of cooking 100% of the food to Meat Loaf. Meat is confused, as he does not cook. Way to presumptuously make a beeline to the fat guy, Gary. Lil Jon and John Rich stand by awaiting instructions that will never come.

The Omaha Steak representatives visit both teams to give insight into their brand, and Gary asks how their cows are slaughtered, apropos of nothing. Gary tells the camera, “They’re unaware of the focus I have, because I don’t show them I have focus” and suggests that it’s a part of his mystery. On the women’s side, Star, not being Project Manager and all, is naturally taking charge of the task and directing the executives as they speak. She asks for their leanest cut of meat, which is the three-ounce petite filet. It hardly seems worth it; what is that, two bites of meat? The women eventually decide that Star will cook the petite filet, while NeNe will handle lobster tails, and LaToya will prepare a bacon-wrapped filet. Marlee suggests a poker night theme for the display, since she thinks it’s macho and daring for the ladies to even suggest such a scenario.

The men, meanwhile, are plotting a Father’s Day-themed presentation with Gary suggesting they include mention of kite-flying. I think their best bet at this point would be to intentionally throw the challenge and set Gary up for elimination. Since it requires little-to-no effort on the men’s part, I think it’s a good plan, and they’re already well on their way. John and Lil Jon are loafing around with nothing to do while Meat Loaf stresses over compiling a menu and gearing himself up to cook for the first time. The women are discussing their own menu; they’ve decided they don’t have enough variety, so they switch out LaToya’s filet for a hamburger. When Project Manager Hope asks LaToya for her approval, she acts as if changing her plans would be a logistical nightmare of epic proportions and becomes flustered. Hope tells her it’s not a big deal, but I’m sure LaToya will find additional things to be panicked about.

Gary asks his team about the variety pack they’ll have to compile as a part of the challenge. It’s basically a box full of Omaha Steaks products; Gary thinks they should present it as a new line of “multi-flavored meat.” The only problem with that plan is that there’s no such thing as multi-flavored meat, and so the Omaha Steak company doesn’t offer it. When Meat Loaf tells him as much, Gary responds, “What I mean by that is different steaks with different flavors.” Cherry? Grape? I don’t get it, but Meat continues to engage him in conversation, doing all the heavy lifting while John and Lil Jon giggle in the background. Gary Busey suggests that the company invent a range of “flavored steaks” for their team and package them for display during their brief presentation. Meat Loaf replies that they should season the steaks themselves as they present them to the audience, since involving the company’s factories and employees is neither feasible nor appropriate, but Gary can’t wrap his head around the concept. Why don’t the men just placate Gary, distract him with something shiny, and sequester him in a corner while they carry out their responsibilities in a timely and efficient manner? I don’t blame Gary for his incompetence any more than I blame his teammates for failing to take the reins and strip him of all power.

The women are experimenting with food preparation when we learn that LaToya had “personal chefs” growing up and has never flipped a burger in her life. She seems completely ignorant of the mechanics involved and allows the meat to disintegrate into a messy clump of unappetizing, charred crumbles. NeNe is appalled that a woman could have grown up in America without knowing how to cook a hamburger. At least there are other chefs on the women’s team. Meat Loaf carries the weight of cooking the guys’ food on his shoulders, and if I were he, I would have challenged the assignment immediately. It doesn’t make any sense, and I’m not sure why Meat Loaf is tripping over his own feet to make it work, especially when Lil Jon is hanging out with nothing to do, simply awaiting the opportunity to tell Trump what a horrible leader Gary was.

In the ladies’ workspace, Star is right where she wants to be as she sits at the computer typing colored fonts onto a Word document. To her credit, she’s come up with the brilliant and original tagline, “Time to discover what delicious really is!” Since branding and public relations is her specialty, as she’s told us before, she gets away with doing this for the duration of nearly every task. When Donald, Jr. comes in to check on the team, Star springs up from her chair like a guilty child with her hand in the cookie jar. In an effort to legitimize herself, she tells Don that she’s in “graphics hell.” While NeNe and Marlee are out doing the footwork and buying supplies for the presentation, Star is stuck in the “hell” of making a minuscule adjustment to onscreen text every few hours from the comfort of a computer chair. They should make a television miniseries about the sacrifices she’s made on this show. The funny thing is that Star reacts with false incredulity when Don, Jr. asks her for the theme of the presentation, saying to the camera that she gets asked these questions even when she’s not Project Manager, and she can’t understand why people assume she’s got all the answers. Star can’t leave this show soon enough.

Gary comes up with the idea of allowing the audience to taste their prepared dishes by being picked at random from a hat, giving Lil Jon the vital task of cutting paper to create raffle tickets. On the way to the prep kitchen, John Rich and Meat Loaf discuss Gary’s leadership style. John is incensed that Gary waits until the cameras are out of sight before unleashing his wrath, claiming that Gary told him to shut up and called him “boy.” For some reason, John saying the word “boy” in a heavy Southern accent makes me super uncomfortable, but I understand his being offended.

Time is running out before the teams must present their work, and Meat is so flustered that I think he may cry. I have to applaud him for not blowing his top this time around, even when Gary shows him a menu rife with errors. Gary previously approved it and signed off on it himself, but he now refuses to take responsibility. During the women’s presentation, Hope and the ladies pull their elements together to create a cohesive display of the products, though Star and LaToya’s dishes are pre-cooked. It’s a cooking demonstration, so I don’t get why this would even be allowed. The burgers and vegetables look stiff and plastic by the time the live audience lays eyes on it, but I trust that the men will fail on a more profound level and make up for the fact that NeNe forgets to say the full name of the company, calling them “Omaha” instead. The other women follow suit, and soon, it seems like they’re going out of their way to avoid saying it correctly. Considering the fact that the executives are not remotely concerned with anything other than the number of mentions their brand gets on television, I’d say it’s a pretty big deal.

Star talks about how having had “open heart surgery” necessitates that she eat healthy foods, but I would have thought her gastric bypass surgery would be the more central concern. Doesn’t that significantly impact your ability to eat standard portions of food? LaToya whispers through her presentation of the hamburgers as Meat Loaf sweats his face off backstage. By the time he lumbers out to present, he’s pulled himself together, and the executives seems to like what he has to say while clumsily plopping raw meat on the grill. Unfortunately, Gary is still involved, and there’s no situation that he can’t prolong into an agonizing, unending session of inane rambling. He ruins the day of everyone in the audience by delivering lengthy speeches on the steaks and how they’d be perfect for a kite-flying date with Dad on Father’s Day. He throws in some disgusting comments about digesting your food before making out with your date at an anniversary dinner, and the audience looks like they’re trapped in an awful off-Broadway one-man show. Numbers are picked randomly, and a few audience members, including one Omaha Steaks executive, get to sample the dishes. This ain’t Top Chef; Meat Loaf seems to have offered up the hastily-grilled steaks lightly dusted with salt and cooked to medium-rare, which required no creativity or skilled execution. Of course, that wasn’t the point of this task.

In the boardroom: Trump asks the men’s team if Gary was a good leader. The men can’t wait to answer in the negative. Meat complains that he wasn’t sure if or when Gary would shut his trap while explaining his wacky steak-themed scenarios. It’s clear that the men lost and that Gary should be ousted, so I vow to rescind my support of Donald Trump’s presidential campaign if he doesn’t do what’s right. Trump forces Gary to tell his Father’s Day kite story again, and everyone sits with their eyes glazing over. Lil Jon asserts that Gary is not of this world, that he was “orbiting outer space” during the challenge and is impossible to connect with. The women choose to praise each other for a job well done; Star does what she does every week and tells Trump that Hope was an absolute dream to work with, that she’d be proud to have her as a daughter, and that everything went perfectly. When Trump asks LaToya if she has any lifelong friends on the team, she answers by saying that she knows she could call Marlee, Star, or Hope, and they would answer the phone and say hello. That’s the mark of a true friend. NeNe looks mildly disappointed to be left out.

Trump reveals that the women did well with branding and creating a healthy option with Star’s dish, but they failed to repeat the company’s name enough, and they should have done all of their cooking in front of the audience. You don’t say. They were expecting actual demonstrating during a cooking demonstration? Trump tells the men that the executives loved Meat Loaf and would hire him as an official spokesperson, but they were extremely turned off by Gary’s long-winded illustrations. The women win, and Hope gets a paltry $20,000 for Best Buddies. Omaha Steaks decided not to match the $20,000 and instead offer an indeterminate portion of future proceeds to the charity.

As the women celebrate, NeNe breaks off to cry about her treatment in the boardroom. She hates that she has the reputation for being negative, as she believes that she’s the “least negative” on the team. I see her as a playful, basically kind-hearted woman, but she has gone to great lengths to establish herself as a no-nonsense (read: tactless), editorializing, bull-headed figure for as long as she’s been on television. Still, I can see why she wouldn’t want Trump to box her in as an unlikeable, antisocial brat. She complains to Star about LaToya saying she wouldn’t call her up after the show is over. Does she expect LaToya to want to hang out socially after she’s made it clear that she doesn’t respect LaToya in any way whatsoever? Star comforts NeNe by saying, “I love you.” I think that sentiment might change at some point. I don’t know; it’s just a funny feeling I have.

Back in the boardroom, Trump is delaying the inevitable. The men explain how they were hoisted into the presentation without any rehearsal opportunities. Gary does his best to defend himself by basically calling them bold-faced liars, but I don’t understand why Trump is allowing the conversation to go on. It’s more than clear that Gary needs to go. To help the cause, John Rich tells Trump that Gary called him “boy” and told him to shut up. Trump helpfully points out that it would have been a bigger problem had Lil Jon been called “boy” instead. Believe it or not, Gary’s defense is that he called John “C’boy,” short for “Dallas Cowboys,” and John misheard him. That’s absolutely brilliant. Gary sincerely thinks he can manipulate reality using the powers of his demented mind; I wholeheartedly believe that he has no concept of any objective reality which doesn’t unfold at his whim. Trump doesn’t buy it but still refuses to end the madness, asking Gary to bring back two men to be considered for firing. Gary can’t bear to throw any of the “excellent” players on the block, so Trump must do what he knows is right. Before searching for any possible reason not to let him go, before complimenting Gary as a “totally different kind of a guy,” he mercifully puts the men out of their misery. Busey is gone. We all heave a collective sigh of relief.

Season 11, Episode 7: “Raising the Steaks”

Celebrity Apprentice airs Sundays at 9/8c on NBC.

Images courtesy of IMDbPro, Douglas Gorenstein and NBC Universal.

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