Top Chef Masters Review: Christina Hendricks’ Swingin’ Cocktail Party

At the end of my last review, which ended in a “Restaurant Wars” challenge, I claimed Alex Stratta was the guy to beat after Hugh Acheson went home to sulk in his already successful restaurant.  Still, there are eleven cheftestants still remaining on Top Chef Masters, so they have to get down to business and start booting some more people off.

But wait just one second! We then find out that John Rivera Sedlar has dropped out because of an emergency. That’s one less chef to kick off, right?

Nope.

Lucky for us they brought back Hugh and his unibrow. It’s like the last episode never really happened!  Fine, let’s just move on to the Quickfire Challenge!

The chefs have to make a meatball dish in 30 minutes. Now this is a Quickfire I can get behind, but since this is a reality show there’s a twist. The twist is that they have to grind the meat by hand (cue trombone). “As a chef, I know this is gonna be pretty tough,” says Curtis, who I guess is a chef? Judging this challenge is R&B singer Kelis, who is also a professionally trained chef (wha?) and loves meatballs. It’s like she was born to judge this Quickfire. Because it is 2011 I am not making any milkshake jokes in this review.

Kelis samples the chef’s dishes as they watch on a monitor like security guards at a casino. Sue Zemanick dishes up a spicy pork belly meatball with spicy tomato sauce which Kelis enjoyed.  Next is George’s chicken and short rib meatball with another spicy tomato-citrus sauce. Alex creates a spicy lamb meatball with toasted fruit and almond couscous and Floyd presents a fried beef and bacon meatball sandwich with Asian slaw. Traci Des Jardins’ dishes up a tarragon chicken meatball consommé. Mary Sue Milliken’s turkey albondigas soup with toasted pumpkin seeds and manchego is one of Kelis favorites, along with John Currence’s Vietnamese chicken meatball. Last but not least is Suvir’s Indian spiced meatball with tamarind glaze and Hugh’s lamb merguez meatball with shiitake slaw and yogurt.

In the end Kelis thought John’s Vietnamese meatballs could bring all the boys to the yard. I’m sorry, I know what I said earlier, I just couldn’t help myself.

Let’s keep this cornucopia caravan rolling with the Elimination Challenge!

The Elimination Challenge revolved around classic recipes from the 60′s. I’m amazed these dishes didn’t kill people with instant heart attacks daily in restaurants back then. Christina Hendricks from Mad Men is there and I really don’t care that she has no culinary expertise whatsoever. It’s just nice to look at her. Her husband, Geoffrey Arend (AKA the guy that gives all dorks and nerds the hope of someday marrying a woman like Christina Hendricks) is there too. I didn’t really notice him much.  Curtis asks if she is a fan of 60′s food and she says she hates it, which makes me think they didn’t interview her before booking the show.

The 60′s inspired dishes the chefs will be making will be served at the couple’s cocktail party.  They’ll have to make two portions of their dishes, one classic version and one modern take.

Then the chefs go shopping for their ingredients and America changes the channel. They need to stop showing them shopping. No one cares, seriously.

For some reason there’s not enough room for everyone to cook in the kitchen, which seems unfair and frustrating. Sue decides to help everyone else cook their dishes (it is very nice of her but a bad idea). John Currence came up with his take on Oysters Rockefeller (yuck) which the judges liked (yay).  They’re also very taken by Floyd Cardoz’s ambrosia (yuck again) which he made into a fondue (um, still yuck).  Mary Sue Milliken does a Japanese version of deviled eggs that surprisingly won the night and wowed them all. I do like me some deviled eggs.

The dishes Christina didn’t care for included Suvir’s deep-fried Veal Rockefeller and a bread pudding from Alessandro Stratta, who seems not to understand what bread pudding is. Too bad, because I love bread pudding, even the kind from the 60s.

But poor ol’ Sue Zemanick works so hard helping everybody else she doesn’t really finish her dish of duck a la orange. That means it’s bye-bye for Susie Z. I bet she cried all the way home to her very popular restaurant. This was her one big chance to make it and she blew it.

My new prediction for the front-runner: John Currence. He isn’t quite the chef to beat yet, but keep an eye on him. If he can make Oysters Rockefeller good, then he is a dangerous man.

Season 3, Episode 2 “Everything Old is New Again” (original air date April 12, 2011)

Top Chef Masters airs Wednesday nights at 9/8c on Bravo.

Images courtesy of Nicole Wilder and Bravo