Your Highness Review: If You’re Going Nuts, Might as Well Go All the Way

Your Highness is bent on being completely ridiculous. It commits to that purpose fully, without looking back, without stopping to ask itself, “should we really say that on screen?”

That level of complete commitment is the reason it sort of kind of works, the reason that although it’s definitely stupid, I find myself giggling while I write this review.

It’s stupid. It’s stupid in the way Spaceballs is stupid, in the way Robin Hood: Men in Tights is stupid, and the way The Princess Bride is stupid; that is to say, it’s satire.

It doesn’t climb to the caliber of satire that any of those other films reach, and it’s more vulgar than all of them put together, but you know what? It’s not awful.

People asked why I was intent on going to see this film, and I had a very good reason. Or two, actually. Curiosity and trust.

I figured that Natalie Portman, James Franco, and Zooey Deschanel must have seen something in this script, and just what it was made me curious. In addition, Natalie Portman is one of the few actresses I trust, and will see her movies just because she chose to be in them. Now, don’t get me wrong. Even the actors I trust run off the rails every now and then. (ex: Natalie Portman did do the “new” Star Wars films and Leonardo DiCaprio brought us The Beach). We can forgive one or two bad choices. Frankly, I wouldn’t have gone just based on James Franco, not after that stunningly bizarre Oscar performance.

Back to the point. I seem to be saying that in several of my reviews lately.

James Franco plays Fabious, the handsome, brave elder prince who does everything right and shines in his father’s eyes. His younger brother, Thadeous (Danny McBride) shirks his responsibility, choosing to fall into the background rather than even try living up to the standard his brother has set. Fabious returns home from his latest quest with a bride-to-be, the gorgeous Bella Donna (Zooey Deschanel), but she is soon recaptured by the evil warlock Leezar (Justin Theroux), who wishes to deflower her in order to fulfill an ancient prophecy (I guess she’s the only virgin who is handy).

The King orders Thadeous to join his brother on the quest to recover his love, or be banished from their household forever. The petulant Thadeous agrees to go, faithful squire Courtney (Rasmus Hardiker) in tow, and the brothers soon find themselves on an uphill battle. They visit the perverted “Wise Wizard”, who gives them good advice – but for a price (wink wink), but run into trouble when they discover their knights have pledged allegiance to Leezar. The princes escape, only to land in more hot water (again, caused by the naivety of young Thadeous). This time, a young, beautiful, possible insane young lady comes to their rescue.

Enter Isabelle (Natalie Portman), a woman hellbent on revenge. Leezar and his witches killed her entire family and she intends to destroy them in return.

I’m quite sure you can take it from here. The elder prince is kidnapped, leaving Thadeous to either grow up and take charge of the situation or run home with his tail between his legs. With the help of Courtney and Isabelle, he finds his courage and his rightful place at his brother’s side. They rescue Fabious and his virgin, destroy Leezar, and return triumphant.

Of course, not one piece of this plot happens without utter ridiculousness dogging its path, and there are enough anatomy and sex jokes to fill up James Franco’s bongs for an entire party weekend, but it’s not boring.

The actors are as immersed in their roles as the writer’s were in the script which is, of course, the only way a movie like this has any hope of working at all. Franco is stinking hilarious, his manic grins taking brotherly love to places it was never meant to go. McBride’s Thadeous is a self-centered baby, and his moment of discovery is as asinine as the rest of his character arc. Portman plays her character completely straight faced, and the words coming out of her mouth are incongruously funny.

I’m not sorry I spent my money at the theatre on this one, and I doubt you will be either. It takes a little while to get going, to make your sensibilities stop repeating W.T.F. over and over while they rock back and forth in the corner of your rational mind. Just know what you’re in for, that every moment strives to be insane than the last, and you’ll be fine. I promise.

Photos Courtesy of Frank Connor and Universal Studios