FOX Upfront 2011: Mixed Bag of New Shows

Yesterday at the Beacon Theater in New York City, FOX unveiled their new primetime schedule for the Fall/Midseason. Unlike the NBC Upfront,  FOX wasn’t worried about reconstructing their network as they seemed to be quite comfortable in first place. This is quite puzzling since the network just cancelled eight shows from their schedule this year. Taking their place will be a mix of new shows, some that look fantastic while others… not so much.

All First Look Trailers can be seen here.

Liked

Terra Nova – Monday nights will be the home to Terra Nova, the special effects heavy, time traveling, dinosaur filled adventure that oddly reminds me a bit of James Cameron’s Avatar. The world is dying and the citizens of Earth are ushered into a giant time machine portal to the past so they can rebuild humanity. However, as peaceful as things seem, there is a lurking ominous threat in the darkness that is slowly picking off the survivors one by one.

Alcatraz - From the Executive Producer J.J Abrams comes Alcatraz, a sci-fi thriller following the reappearance  of inmates in 2011 after they vanished into thin air from the infamous prison. The show has a creepy, but mysterious vibe that I believe will draw viewers into it. I believe FOX has a hit on their hands with Alcatraz as long as the story doesn’t move at a snails pace.

The New Girl - Jess, played by Zooey Deschanel, comes home early from a trip only to find her boyfriend cheating on her. She needs a new place to live and finds herself sharing an apartment with three guys. I know, I know, the formula has been done to death, but after watching the trailer I believe FOX finally has a strong comedy that will lead into Raising Hope on Tuesday nights after Glee.

The Flintstones – Seth McFarlane has managed to become the lead behind the recreation of The Flintstones. McFarlane promised not to change much about the show. We can expect the same characters, same location of Bedrock, and our beloved theme song to remain the same. It’ll be The Flintstones we grew up with, just with new episodes.

Indifferent

X-Factor - X-Factor will take the Wednesday and Thursday 8 PM slots in the fall, making it  the “next big thing” FOX is pushing due to the return of Simon Cowell and Paula Abdul. Broken up into to four categories, Boys 15-25, Girls 15-25, Over 25, and Vocal Groups (any age), X-Factor should broaden the range of vocal talent from what we’ve seen in American Idol.

The Finder – This Bones spinoff feels like another forensic procedural. The Finder reminds me a bit of CBS’ Numbers with a bit more quirky fun thrown into it. Oddly, I feel like this is a show USA would put out.

Disliked

I Hate My Teenage Daughter – Two best friends grew up as nerds in high school have decided to give their teenage daughters everything they want to be popular. The plan backfires on the mothers as their daughters turn into everything they once hated. The laughs are forced, the facial expressions ridiculous, and plain not funny. I give this show three weeks.

Allen Gregory - Brought to us by Jonah Hill, this is a comedy follows the life of a rich, sophisticated brat who decides to attend public elementary school as a challenge. The trailer didn’t make me laugh once and I’m not a fan of the style of animation.

Napoleon Dynamite - The movie came out in 2004 to some cult following. Then the hype died. Literally it died. When was the last time someone quoted something from the movie or even mentioned it? I don’t understand who thought this was a bright idea. The movie was met with a mixed reception. If the show can draw all those people in from seven years ago than sure it might just have a shot, but lets be real. This show has a snowball’s chance in hell. The fact that the entire original cast is voicing their characters in the animation is the only thing the show has going for it.

FOX has a lot going for them with their returning dramas. I believe Alcatraz and Terra Nova can be huge hits if handled correctly. If those two shows take off, it’ll be hard for the network to not pull off a repeat victory in the demos.

 

Images courtesy of Patrick Ecclesine/FOX.

Survivor Review: The Finale

After a long season with few surprises and a lack of real game playing, Survivor: Redemption Island came to an end Sunday night. Although I have been harsh on Survivor the majority of the year, I will admit that I did enjoy the finale. There were some major moments toward the end that had a direct impact on the outcome. Players stepped up their games when necessary, trusts were betrayed and in the end, the castaway most deserving walked away with title of sole survivor.

The show opened with a lengthy recap of the entire season. From Rob and Russell’s first steps off the helicopter, to the crazed idol hunting days, through the challenge throwing incident and all the way up to the solid Ometepe six that controlled the majority of the game. The ebb and flow of this season was not the greatest as Boston Rob had a strangle hold on the game the majority of the time, playing what Jeff Probst would later call “one of the greatest games of any survivor.” The recap allowed us to see just how mundane this season was, as there were no “highlight” moments, except perhaps Russell’s early departure.

The final duel on Redemption Island ended in what may be one of the biggest upsets in Survivor history. Mike, Matt, Grant and Andrea had to balance their own individual pots on the end of a beam with one foot. A lengthy endurance challenge ensued. Three of the most physical competitors this season dropped off, one by one, as Andrea was left the last one standing, rejoining her former Ometepe tribe mates who casted her off only two episodes ago. For the most part, I think everyone was shocked at this underdog victory, but Andrea had shown determination in previous challenges. The real challenge for her would be regaining past relationships back in the game and trying to sway people’s strategies.

After the duel, Andrea made an attempt to communicate with Ashley and Natalie on the possibility of forming a threesome and taking over the game. The only problem with this proposal was the fact that Rob still had an immunity idol, and as we found out later in the program, both Ashley and Natalie were aware of this. Still, I feel like they would have been better off joining with Andrea and eliminating Phillip. If this tactic was put in place, the girls would have had one more powerful competitor in Andrea to help win the final challenge, giving them the opportunity to eliminate Rob. Sadly, Natalie and Ashley continued along the path of least resistance, voting off Andrea after another clutch victory by Ashley.

With two impressive wins in a row, Ashley was peaking just at the right time. Going into the final challenge Boston Rob had to be worried about her potential game winning performance. It essentially came down to this: Either Rob or Ashley was going home, whichever one didn’t win the challenge. The contest had all four players run through a giant maze collecting puzzle piece bags, climbing a tall staircase and assembling their puzzle on the top platform. Fittingly, it came down to Ashley and Rob, with Rob figuring out the puzzle first, yelling and raising his hands in victory. At this moment, he knew he won the entire game.

Formalities followed with Natalie predictably turning on her friend Ashley, the only other player who even had a chance of competing with Rob in the finals, and we were left with just three: Phillip, Natalie and Rob. At the final tribal council it was just pathetic. Not only did Rob give the best argument as to why he should win, there were point where even Natalie and Phillip seemed to be giving the jury reasons to vote for Rob. Even one of the jury members, David, stood up and pleaded with the rest of his jurors to throw their support behind Rob. Case closed.

The season ended just the way we all knew it would, with Boston Rob finally taking home his title of sole survivor. Granted, this outcome was not always apparent, but for the last six to seven episodes, the eventual winner became clearer and clearer. In the end, Rob absolutely deserved to win this title and if anyone else had taken it home, it would have been a travesty. It was hard not to root for someone who so clearly dominated the game, pretty much from day one. With another season in the books, Survivor will return next year with its second incarnation of Redemption Island. Let’s hope that this time castaways will prove to be smarter in trying to outwit, outplay and outlast their opponents.

Season 22, Episode 14: Seems Like A No Brainer (originally aired May 15, 2011)

For more on Survivor, click here.

Photo courtesy of CBS ©2010 CBS Broadcasting Inc. All Rights Reserved.

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ABC Upfront 2011: First Look Trailers

Here are the First Look Trailers of ABC’s new shows shown during today’s Upfront in New York City.

(Good Christian Belles will be added shortly)

Game of Thrones Review: The One With All the Sudden Nudity

Last night Game of Thrones took a moment to crank up the volume from all angles and remind us that, despite being a fantasy epic based on a series of beloved novels, it’s also a TV show on HBO.  That’s right, the show that a few weeks ago I called slow moving amped up with the help of several twists and turns, multiple sex scenes, and a stomach-turning example of what I don’t know what to call but bad parenting.

After last week’s joust, Ned Stark (Sean Bean) is surprised to learn King Robert (Mark Addy) is planning another and wants to compete himself. Ned goes to visit his king and finds him struggling to squeeze into his armor. Robert sends his squire, his wife Cersei’s (Lena Headey) cousin, to look for a breastplate stretcher as a joke. Ned tries to talk him out of the joust because every challenger just lets the King win. Robert, drunk as usual, nearly stumbles out of the tent half dressed before Ned stops him.

The joust goes on without the King’s participation and the Knight of the Flowers, Loras (Finn Jones) is set to meet Gregor. He presents a flower to Sansa, but proceeds to eye the King’s younger brother Lord Renly Baratheon (Gethin Anthony). Loras knocks Gregor from his horse, leading Gregor to behead the animal and then run with his sword at Loras. The Hound steps in, but the fight is ended quickly when the King calls it off.

On the road, Tyrion Lannister (Peter Dinklage) is traveling as the prisoner of Catelyn Stark (Michelle Fairley). Tyrion denies he had a part in her son’s fall. After all, who would arm an assassin with their own knife? Their journey is interrupted by an attack and Lady Stark unties Tyrion so he may defend himself and, potentially proving his alleged innocence, he saves her life from an attacker rather than flee on a horse.

Back in Winterfell, Theon Greyjoy (Alfie Allen, yes Lily’s brother) patronizes a woman from the local pleasure house and brags about the virility of the House of Greyjoy and it’s future at the head of the seven kingdoms. The woman reminds him he’s become a ward of the Stark’s because his father betrayed King Robert.

Ladies, and some gentlemen, I do believe we’ve met a counterpart obsession to Jon Snow. I’m waiting for the Team Snow/Team Greyjoy shirts to start popping up, even if their poster boy rivalry is just the stuff of future Twitter trending.

In King’s Landing, Arya (Maisie Williams) overhears Varys talking about Ned getting too close to the truth about Jon Arryn. She hears him mention Bran’s fall was not an accident, but a botched attempt to kill him. She runs to tell her father, but is stopped by guards who mistake her for a boy. Being the bad ass she is, she storms past them and tells her father what she’s heard. A Night’s Watchman interrupts them, telling Ned that Catelyn’s taken Tyrion prisoner.

In probably the most disturbing moment on television in my recent memory, Catelyn enters her sister’s castle to find Lady Lyssa Arryn breastfeeding her far too old son on the throne. Tyrion warned us earlier  Lyssa was a bit off, but whoa. Not expecting that. Catelyn identifies Tyrion as her prisoner and Lady Arryn has him taken to a cell with three walls, the opening a deep drop down into a ravine.

Meanwhile, Ned goes before King Robert and his council, refusing to cooperate in a preemptive strike against the Dothraki. He says he’ll fear them when they teach their horses to tread water, knowing the Dothraki have never crossed the Narrow Sea. Robert, feeling his kingdoms slip away, demands action, as does the rest of the council. Ned resigns and walks out, King Robert hurling curses at him as he goes. When he gets to his room, he asks for his men to protect his daughters and agrees to go meet Petyr and learn about the last person who spoke to Jon Arryn alive.

Renly and Loras are revealed as lovers, with Loras working to convince Renly he would make a good king even though he can’t stomach killing a man.  He encourages him to move forward with the plan to strike at Daenerys (Emilia Clarke) while she’s pregnant, eliminating Drogo’s (Jason Momoa) heir. While back in the King’s chambers, Cersei expresses her joy at Ned’s departure. They discuss the Dothraki and the benefit of their united army to the splintered cells of the other seven kingdoms. For the first time, Cersei asks what Robert’s first love Lyanna Stark was like. The two show the first signs of tenderness and camaraderie thus far in the series.

Petyr takes Ned to see the mother of Robert’s illegitimate child and when he asks why Arryn was tracking down the children, Petyr doesn’t know. Ned goes to leave and finds Jaime Lannister and his men waiting outside, at which point he he orders Ned taken alive and his men killed. Jaime kills one himself and an impressive swordfight ensues, ending with Jaime’s men piercing Ned’s leg with a spear and pinning it to the ground. Upset at the interference, Jaime knocks his man out and tells Ned he wants his brother back.

Did anyone else find themselves missing Jon Snow and the Targaryens this week? Things have definitely picked up pace in Westeros, and I’m not exactly going to complain about the sudden attention being paid to the sex lives of its residents. After all, this is premium cable. I expect a little edge to it. But, more importantly, things that at first seemed simple are starting to get much more complicated for people like Ned Stark. Stay tuned in the weeks to come for even bigger twists and turns.

Season 1, Episode 5: “The Wolf and the Lion” (original air date May 15, 2011)

Game of Thrones airs Sundays at 9/8c on HBO.

Images courtesy of Nick Briggs and HBO.

ABC Fall Preview: Clips From Charlie’s Angels, Pan Am, Last Man Standing and More

ABC has released clips from their new show falls. Check them out below and leave your thoughts in the comment section.

 

Grey’s Anatomy’s Sarah Drew Interview: Hitting Her Stride

I recently had the pleasure of chatting with Sarah Drew of Grey’s Anatomy.  She plays the increasingly bold Dr. April Kepner, and she shared some of her experiences working on the hit show.  For a loyal fan like me, this was a real treat.  As fans we become invested in characters, and Ms. Drew’s Kepner is no exception.  We discussed her character’s evolution from meek newcomer to a young doctor who is contending for the coveted job of Chief Resident.

You may recall that when April first joined the show, she was fired for negligently causing the death of a patient.  We discussed how that early lethal mistake helped prepare the character for Chief Resident by cultivating a new attention to detail.  Ms. Drew was pleasantly surprised at being made a permanent, regular cast member two years ago, and although her character is still on the periphery sometimes – she is increasingly coming to the forefront and finding a voice.  Initially her character was part of the new crop of doctors from Mercy West, a competing hospital.  As an outsider, she was often marginalized, and being a 28 year old virgin certainly didn’t help – but Drew thinks her character is a special one that many viewers can relate to.  We discussed if she’d like to see April lose her virginity, and she would be fine with it as long as it unfolded naturally and in an appropriate way.  We’ve seen the exploration of younger characters losing their virginity on television shows before, and I think such a development would fit in nicely with her character’s evolution.

In last week’s episode we saw April stand up to Dr. Stark, and Ms. Drew mentioned that in the past April has tried to impress her superiors at the expense of her relationship with her peers; but all that is changing.  April has become a fan favorite over time, and that’s a testament to the humanity Sarah Drew brings to the role. We discussed the events that most shaped her character, and she felt that her character’s initial mistake is the driving force behind her recent success.  Rigidly following protocol may not endear her to her peers, but it makes her an efficient doctor, and that can only help in the race for Chief Resident.

With Broadway experience under her belt, Ms. Drew relates well to fellow cast mate Kevin McKidd, who also has “big stage” experience.  She feels that her work environment is a family atmosphere, and she has learned a lot from all of her co-stars.  She counts Sandra Oh and Sarah Ramirez as two strong influences and greatly admires their respective work ethics.  Playing the same role day in and day out has its mundane moments, but she enjoys the familiarity of the character and feels like she really knows April Kepner after two years in the role.  She was surprised and overjoyed that creator Shonda Rhimes decided to make her character one of the regulars, but had worked with Rhimes in the past and revealed that the character was created especially for her.

Hopefully one day we can check her out on the silver screen, but for now we get to tune in once a week and see her on Grey’s.  Look for Sarah Drew in a few plays this summer, one of which will be on PBS.  It’s been our pleasure to watch her growth over the past two years, and I think the sky’s the limit for this talented young actress.  Who knows, maybe April could be Chief Resident after all…we’ll find out Thursday – stay tuned!

Grey’s Anatomy airs Thursdays at 9/8c on ABC.

Images courtesy of John Russo.

ABC Announces 2011-2012 Primetime Schedule

ABC has announced their primetime schedule next year with some big changes to the lineup. Fans of Cougar Town will be peeved to hear that the show has been kept off the fall schedule only to return after the new year for midseason. The network seems to have faith in Charlie’s Angels as it will take the challenging Thursday 8 PM slot going up against the likes of X-Factor, American Idol, Community, and The Big Bang Theory.

New shows joining the lineup this fall are: Last Man Standing, Man Up, Suburgatory, Revenge, Charlie’s Angels, Once Upon A Time, and Pan Am.

More information and analysis will follow after the Network’s Upfront later today.

ABC’s fall primetime schedule is as follows (all times listed are Eastern); new shows are in bold:

MONDAY:

8:00 p.m.                    “Dancing with the Stars”

10:00 p.m.                  “Castle”

 

TUESDAY:

8:00 p.m.                    “Last Man Standing”

8:30 p.m.                    “Man Up”

9:00 p.m.                    “Dancing with the Stars the Results Show”

10:00 p.m.                  “Body of Proof”

 

WEDNESDAY:

8:00 p.m.                    “The Middle”

8:30 p.m.                    “Suburgatory”

9:00 p.m.                    “Modern Family”

9:30 p.m.                    “Happy Endings”

10:00 p.m.                  “Revenge”

 

THURSDAY:

8:00 p.m.                    “Charlie’s Angels”

9:00 p.m.                    “Grey’s Anatomy”

10:00 p.m.                  “Private Practice”

FRIDAY:

8:00 p.m.                    “Extreme Makeover: Home Edition”

9:00 p.m. “Shark Tank”

10:00 p.m.                  “20/20”

 

SATURDAY:

8:00 p.m.                    “Saturday Night College Football”

 

SUNDAY:

7:00 p.m.                    “America’s Funniest Home Videos”

8:00 p.m.                    “Once Upon a Time”

9:00 p.m.                    “Desperate Housewives”

10:00 p.m.                  “Pan Am”

The Celebrity Apprentice Review: Big Boys Don’t Cry

Well, faithful reader (hi, Mom!), we’re nearing the end of Celebrity Apprentice, and it’s been a long and winding road thus far. The eleventh week of the show starts out innocently enough, with John Rich and Lil Jon exuberantly celebrating Meat Loaf’s return from the boardroom and expressing shock at Star’s removal from the game. Meat is triumphant and gleeful about having “out-lawyered” Star Jones, but Marlee is mourning the loss of her dear friend. Star had been largely indifferent to Marlee, seeing as how she’s a sociopath, so I don’t get why Ms. Matlin is giving her another thought. Star seems to win fierce but undeserved loyalty from weak and impressionable people, and I’d like to know her secret, to be frank.

Trump does the unspeakable, entering the champagne lounge while the contestants are still kicking back in celebration. He’s got a surprise for everyone; Bret Michaels, Joan Rivers, and Piers Morgan (all former winners) are in the building, and Trump is going to have them interview the four remaining players and decide which two to cut. It’s pretty pathetic how desperately some of these people want to win this silly title, but I guess the charity aspect is a good smokescreen; they can all pretend they don’t care about the attention. “It’s all about the kids!,” they say in between calls to their publicists. John readies himself to enter the interview room as if he’s preparing to address the nation after a nuclear attack. This sort of thing must be like catnip to Trump’s ego.

The Donald sits down with Bret, Joan, and Piers to discuss the interviews they conducted, which are presented as flashbacks. They all think John Rich made a great impression. He clearly wants to win, and he’s willing to sell his competitors down the river in order to do so. John reveals that Meat is unreliable during tasks, since he’s always “either screaming or crying,” and Marlee hasn’t proven herself enough. He says he wants to bring Lil Jon along with him to the final two. When asked about his strengths, John talks about how he can write really well, and his scripts and songs have always won challenges for his team. He also mentions his organization and listening skills. What about the fundraising thing? Hasn’t he raised an enormous amount of money? He doesn’t mention it, and Piers says he’s unimpressed with his writing skills, since he’s a songwriter by trade. When Bret asks John if he’s capable of taking down his good friend Lil Jon, the cowboy renegade promises to be ruthless in his effort to win, since all he cares about is winning money for St. Jude’s. Next up is Lil Jon; Bret calls him very smart and cool under pressure. Maybe he’s a little too cool and laid back; he doesn’t nominate himself when asked who should be in the final two for the finale, picking John and Marlee instead, since they’re the most powerful, and Meat is way too emotional. Lil Jon admits that he didn’t necessarily come to win, and he never thought he’d make it this far. I’m sure that comment will impress Trump very much, since he’s all about humility and realistic aspirations and really hates people who want to win at all costs.

Meat Loaf is in the hot seat now, and Joan immediately asks him what it feels like to be the oldest person in the game, since she can relate. He says it’s an asset, since he “came locked and loaded.” With cockamamie ideas, yes- loaded to the brim, I say. Piers brings up his fight with Gary Busey, which seems like years ago, since this show exists in a timeless vortex. Meat maintains that he did indeed get very angry, that he wanted to scare Busey, but he never would have hit him. Bret eagerly brings up that John and Lil Jon both “threw [Meat] under the bus,” and before he can finish his sentence, Meat replies that Lil Jon is lazy (couldn’t he have picked a less racially-charged adjective? Just sayin’…), and John Rich isn’t enough of a celebrity. Meat Loaf brags that he’s the most famous person on the show this season. I sang along to his radio hits as much as any other girl born in the 80s, but I think that statement is a bit of a stretch, to say the least. He passes off his claims as “the truth.” I think he supposes that keepin’ it real will make him look like more of a real contender and less of the emotional wreck that everyone pegs him as. Marlee is the last one to be interviewed, and Bret refers to her as “hot” to Trump. Maybe she should audition for the next season of Rock of Love. Marlee tells the trio that this experience has been the hardest thing she’s ever done. I find that difficult to believe, but good for her if it’s true. She also says that her being deaf has been a label throughout her life, and she likes to challenge people to look deeper and see that she can do anything she wants to do. She can’t be put in a box, she says. Piers jokes that her deafness is an advantage, since he sometimes wished he could have been deaf when he was on the show. Har, har. I’m sure Marlee and the wider deaf community really appreciate witticisms like that.

Well, this doesn’t seem fair at all. Each episode of this show is about eight hours long and so padded with unnecessary footage. We see everything short of the contestants waking and brushing their teeth, but we’re about to let two of them go based on the opinions of three of Trump’s pets, without so much as a tiny challenge to help inform the decision? I don’t care about the other two alums, but I’m a huge fan of Joan Rivers. I think she’s a legend and an incredibly strong woman. Still, I don’t understand why any of them should have any say at this point. Regardless of my opinion, the four remaining contestants find themselves in the boardroom with Trump. Since he loves to play up the drama and conflict, he asks each of them to announce who they’d like to survive, even though he’s already made his decision based on the suggestions of the interviewers. John goes against what he said in his interview and pretends that he can’t think of any weaknesses in his fellow players. He ends up choosing himself and Marlee as the final two. Lil Jon changes his tune and acts as if he wants to stay in the game and bring John along with him. Marlee and Meat nominate themselves and each pick John Rich to survive, as well. It must feel pretty good to be John Rich right now. Trump swiftly fires Lil Jon for not naming himself as a finalist in his interview. I think we all saw that coming. He tells Lil Jon to go have a great career. Yeah, we’ll stand by for that. Trump then gets rid of Meat for being too emo, and Meat responds by crying. This guy is so sensitive; he must have been an amazing lover in his day.

Marlee and John are thrilled about being the final two contenders. John tells the camera “it’s no holds barred” now, and Marlee says John should watch out, because she’s gonna bring it. I absolutely think John is the more likely winner, but it should be fun to watch Marlee try to beat him. Trump greets Marlee and John in the lobby of a building along with an executive from 7UP. The final challenge will help decide who becomes the Celebrity Apprentice and wins $250,000 for their charity in the end, he says. The challenge is to promote 7UP’s new 7UP Retro brand, a soda with real sugar (!) in it. The players need to design a new package for the product, produce a commercial, and throw a star-studded launch party. The exec starts off by donating $50,000 to each of their charities. Of course, Trump thinks they need help, so he calls in reinforcements. Many of the ousted contestants come back to assist, including the two who just left a few minutes ago and the dearly missed Star Jones. The teams divide up, with Marlee claiming Meat Loaf, LaToya Jackson, and Richard Hatch, while John Rich takes Lil Jon, Star Jones, and Mark McGrath. Wait, I thought Star and Marlee were besties, and now Star is going to be fighting for John to win? There are two themed decades to choose from: the 70s, which includes The Harlem Globetrotters as a part of the event package and the 80s, which will feature Def Leppard. Marlee gets to pick, and she stupidly claims the 70s option, leaving John Rich with the music theme. He doesn’t understand her decision, and neither do I. She’s handicapping herself; picking Meat as a team member was already enough of a risk.

Marlee and her team start to brainstorm packaging designs. To no one’s surprise, Meat takes over and starts talking about the commercial and how he should wear a fairy costume or something. LaToya complains to the camera that she’d never worked with Meat Loaf and didn’t realize how unfocused he is. When LaToya Jackson is accusing you of not being grounded enough, I think you’ve got a problem. Richard observes that Marlee is already having a hard time controlling her helpers, and that might be a major issue later. She’s overwhelmed, and the task has barely begun. Over on John’s side, Star is volunteering to create a daily schedule and whatever other busy work she can give herself to make it look like she’s vital to the team. They come up with their tagline: “7UP Retro. Still Keepin’ It Real.” It’s not bad. Back at Marlee’s table, Meat is still commanding the conversation, suggesting that the 7UP can be turned into a disco ball and the cardboard box be transformed into an old-school boombox. Everyone likes the idea; Marlee wants to run with the disco theme. I’ve observed that she has a bit of a hard time vetoing anyone’s ideas, so we never know what she would prefer in any given situation. Their slogan is “7UP Retro: Feel the Love.” Meh.

The teams have fun taking photos and preparing their packaging for the product. Richard stands awkwardly in a disco suit, holding a 7UP can in the air. The graphic designer looks over his shots and basically calls him fat, which makes me sad. Mark McGrath is still on whatever stimulants he takes as he waves a can around and talks about 80s zebra print. It is a good idea, actually. Star talks about how much she loves John Rich and how she has a crush on him and how she loves being the only woman on her team. She flirts with the boys, and Mark calls her “toots” at one point, which I’m surprised didn’t offend her. Back at Team Marlee, Meat and LaToya have been sent off to shop, while the remaining players go over their photos and designs. Along with their graphic designer, they decide to scrap the boombox idea, which isn’t working out as planned. Their new box design is actually way cooler, but Meat is absolutely devastated when he returns to discover the changes they’ve made. To him, it’s a personal affront; he behaves as if they’ve just performed cosmetic surgery on one of his children. “I think we’re making a huge, huge, huge, giant mistake here,” he says, overstating it just a bit. Marlee is afraid of him but defends her decision. He finally gives in and shuts up about it.

It’s time for the two teams to secure their impromptu celebrity cameos of the day. John Rich calls in Dee Snider of Twisted Sister to appear in their commercial, while Marlee asks for the help of actor Geoffrey Holder, who was the face and voice of 7UP in the 70s. Dee is pretty excited about it, but Geoffrey sounds hesitant on the phone. Both are slated to appear in support of the task. Meanwhile, Lil Jon is sitting around looking like he’d rather be anywhere else in the world. Who forced him to show up? It must have been in his contract. He admits that he’s tired at this point and barely has the will to continue in the game.

John Rich’s team unwrap their zebra-print 7UP Retro cans, and they’re actually pretty awesome. I’d totally be tempted to buy one if I saw it hanging out on a shelf somewhere. Against all reason and common sense, someone gave Meat the job of writing the scripts for his team’s commercial, and Richard is the only one bold enough to complain about how cheesy and hackneyed the writing is. Marlee is having her photo taken for the print ads instead of leading her team during the creative process, so Meat is just going wild on the script, literally putting down whatever silly line flies into his head. Their plan is to have a series of different characters in 70s costumes saying stuff into the camera until Geoffrey Holder appears to announce the slogan at the end. John Rich’s team has come up with something similar, oddly enough. Their ad will feature a series of awful 80s icon wannabes auditioning one-by-one until Dee Snider shows up to shut it down in full Twisted Sister makeup and regalia, yelling their slogan into the camera.

Meat Loaf shoots Richard saying a few 70s cliches in a huge blond, Afro wig and sparkly purple button-down shirt. Richard is a good sport and does the scene without too much whining, even though he’s opposed to the script. I like this guy, and I wish he’d been on the show longer. The material just gets worse and worse. LaToya shows up looking kind of gorgeous in a brightly colored superhero costume, but she has to say some dumb crap about holding people’s dreams in her hands? I dunno. I think Meat dropped some acid and called Gary Busey up to help him brainstorm, but I guess that part was edited out. Meat then dons his own costume. It’s essentially what he used to wear onstage at his concerts, complete with a long, brown wig. His lines sound like incredibly abstract poetry, with rhyming phrases that don’t make much sense at all. I’m really wondering why Marlee is letting all of this happen around her. Doesn’t she have anything to say about the script? Over on his end, John Rich and his team are worried about time constraints, but they seem to be doing fine to me. Dee Snider emerges in his full costume, and he looks no older than he did when he was actually performing with the band. John is being pulled in all directions, since Star wants him to micro-manage every detail, and he’s having to deal with Def Leppard’s tour manager on the phone. The tour manager is being a jerk, claiming that the band’s drummer will not be allowed to use the kick drum like John wants him to, for some random reason. John is impressive in combating him respectfully, reminding the guy that this event is for charity and is not a Def Leppard tour. Yeah, get over yourself, man. John Rich is a boss.

I can’t say the same about Marlee. She’s over on her sound stage dancing in a goofy costume while the camera films her for the ad, and Meat is accepting phone calls about Geoffrey. As it turns out, Geoff’s lawyer is not allowing him to sign the release to participate in the commercial, which throws their whole plan off its track. Surprise, surprise: Marlee never came up with a Plan B, so everyone freaks out. Meat calls Geoffrey’s manager for help, and that doesn’t seem to go well, either. His response is to start screaming and foaming at the mouth while threatening to throw the telephone across the room. Marlee sits in the hair and makeup chair, closing her eyes in fear, imagining a happy, peaceful place far, far away. We’ll have to wait until next week to see how she gets herself, and her team, out of this mess. (She won’t.)

Season 11, Episode 11: “Retro Rumble” (original airdate May 15, 2011)

The Celebrity Apprentice airs Sundays at 9/8c on NBC.

Images courtesy of Douglas Gorenstein and NBC Universal.

Bridesmaids Review: A Stretching of the Tale Like A Fat Woman Stretches Pantyhose

Most American women have at some point in their lives experienced being the flower girl, junior bride, hostess, bride, and, yes, even one of the Bridesmaids.  For most of us, being a bridesmaid can be a heart-warming, fun, and great time for girl-bonding.  Instead of feeling all warm and fuzzy, however, moviegoers left the awkwardly uncomfortable and inappropriately tongue-in-cheek flick feeling like they’d just sat through two hours of watching the Saturday Night Live skit of the kissing family, the Vogelchecks, for which Kristen Wiig is known.

Bridesmaids focuses on the tale of the best friend and maid of honor Anne (Kristen Wiig).  Anne, who is unlucky in love, has recently lost her new business, Cake Girl, to the recession; however, she awkwardly tries to put on a brave face for the wedding festivities of her best friend, Lillian (Maya Rudolph).  From the onset, during her congratulatory speech at the engagement party, Anne was in competition with Lillian’s cousin, Helen (Rose Byrne), who was jealous of Anne for being chosen as Lillian’s maid of honor.  After the engagement party, Helen proceeded to sabotage and/or upstage Anne’s maid-of-honor plans.  The ladies met for lunch prior to their dress fittings.  While Lillian was in the rest room, Anne took the private time to share with the other maids her idea of throwing Lillian a Parisian-themed bridal shower.  Not to be outdone, Helen downplayed Anne’s idea, suggested the idea was trite, and asked the other maids if they had any ideas.  At the dress fitting at a posh, upscale bridal shop, Anne couldn’t get in and was told she’d have to call and get on the 7-week waiting list.  However, Helen intercepted, and the receptionist, upon recognizing Helen’s voice over the intercom, allowed the ladies in to try on dresses.  However, during the fitting, the ladies got food poisoning from the restaurant at which they’d previously dined upon Anne’s suggestion.  Then, Helen got all the other bridesmaids on board for an expensive trip to Vegas for another bridesmaid pre-event, which put Anne’s little local, economical suggestion to shame.  Once on the plane, Anne, who was afraid of flying, had to sit in coach alone while the other maids sat in first class.  To ease her nerves, Helen offered to let Anne finish the rest of her Scotch after she’d suggested that Anne take two of her un-named prescription pills.  As anyone with good sense knows, pills and liquor don’t mix, and after Anne’s tirades and her attempts to sneak in first class, she got herself and the other maids thrown off the plane, and they had to take a Greyhound back home to Chicago.  Not wanting the rest of her pre-wedding events ruined any further, Lillian suggested that Anne let Helen take the pre-wedding reins so Anne wouldn’t be overwhelmed.  Now in charge, Helen implemented Anne’s Parisian-themed bridal shower idea, which pushed Anne over the edge until she finally accused Helen of trying to upstage her and she proceeded to destroy the food and props at the shower.  Finally, Lillian un-invited Anne from not only being her maid of honor but also from coming to her wedding.

Throughout her ordeal as she sulked from losing her bakery business, Anne struggled with own her life issues such as being fired from her job as a jewelry sales clerk for being too pessimistic and rude to the customers.  She lost her apartment with a brother and sister couple, thus, forcing her to move back home with her mother, and she struggled with settling for a man who didn’t love her and getting to know a man who potentially could as she finally had to acknowledge her own self-sabotaging behavior, emotions, yada-yada-yada.

As one movie patron said while exiting the movie, “It had funny parts, but it wasn’t worth it.”  Had she and other audience members known that it would be the same crass banter that we might have missed the night before on SNL, then the theater could have left the intermittent AC fans off and allowed the movie to provide the momentary uncomfortable chill and we would’ve been duly prepared.  Not that the movie wasn’t humorous in its own rights, but just as SNL has virtually copy written tongue-in-cheek humor, expect an insincere exaggeration of the classic experience of being a bridesmaid in America.

Images courtesy of Suzanne Hanover for NBC Universal and IMDbPro

Win Advanced Screening Passes For The Hangover 2 (DC)

Poptimal.com and Warner Bros. Pictures are teaming up to give fifteen (15) of you a chance to win two (2) free tickets to see an advanced screening of The Hangover 2.

THE HANGOVER PART II
Promo Screening
Tuesday, May 24
7:30 PM
AMC Georgetown
Washington, DC

Here’s How to Win (No Purchase Necessary)

1. Post your comments about at least one (1) of our front page articles

2. Email your name, email address and name of the post you commented on to contests@poptimal.com. Put “The Hangover 2” in the subject line.

3. Wait. Winners will be notified starting Saturday, May 21.

*** If you’re on Twitter. you will have an additional chance to win courtesy of our popular podcast, The Jone Dome.  After you enter as stated above, follow us at@Poptimal and send the following tweet: “Check out Poptimal.com for chances to win tickets to an Advance Screening of “The Hangover 2” @Poptimal“  You will receive additional entries (limit one per day) to win the above prize.

 

In “The Hangover Part II,” Phil (Bradley Cooper), Stu (Ed Helms), Alan (Zach Galifianakis) and Doug (Justin Bartha) travel to exotic Thailand for Stu’s wedding.  With the memory of Doug’s nearly disastrous bachelor party in Las Vegas still fresh—or at least well-documented—Stu is taking no chances.  He has opted for a safe, subdued, pre-wedding trip brunch, with pancakes, coffee…and no alcohol.  However, things don’t always go as planned.

Two nights before the big day, at a fabulous resort in Thailand, Stu relents.  One beer each.  In sealed bottles.  What could go wrong?

What happens in Vegas may stay in Vegas, but what happens in Bangkok can’t even be imagined.

“The Hangover Part II” is director Todd Phillips’ follow-up to his 2009 smash hit “The Hangover,” which became the highest-grossing R-rated comedy of all time and also won the Golden Globe for Best Film – Comedy or Musical.

Bradley Cooper, Ed Helms, Zach Galifianakis, and Justin Bartha star in the film, reprising their roles from “The Hangover.”  The main cast also includes Ken Jeong and Jeffrey Tambor, who also return from the first film, and Oscar® nominee Paul Giamatti (“Cinderella Man”), who joins the ensemble.

Phillips directed from a screenplay he co-wrote with Craig Mazin & Scot Armstrong.  Phillips also produced the film under his Green Hat Films banner, together with Dan Goldberg.  Thomas Tull, Scott Budnick, Chris Bender and J.C. Spink are the executive producers, with David A. Siegel and Jeffrey Wetzel serving as co-producers.

Behind the scenes, the creative team was led by director of photography Lawrence Sher, production designer Bill Brzeski, editors Debra Neil-Fisher and Mike Sale, costume designer Louise Mingenbach, and composer Christophe Beck.

Opening nationwide on May 26, 2011, “The Hangover Part II” is a presentation of Warner Bros. Pictures, in association with Legendary Pictures, and will be distributed by Warner Bros. Pictures, a Warner Bros. Entertainment Company.

www.hangoverpart2.com

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