The Amazing Race Review: Bye, Bye Goths

On last week’s episode of The Amazing Race fan favorite team Cowboys Jet and Cord proved that sometimes persistence and hard work just aren’t enough, as the team rebounded from yet another setback to find their admirable  Race journey ended by a stinkin’ U-turn. I’ll give a moment to let that thought depress you a bit. But don’t settle down in the mopes for too long because on this week’s episode a fine bit of karma, as well as a heavy share of delusion, attacks the dating Goths sending them to the back of the race and finally expelling them from the competition. And not a moment too soon.

We continue this week’s episode where we left off in Liechtenstein. It’s cold and snowy out and the teams all have different ways of coping with the wintery weather. Zev and Justin are bravely prepared for the snow thanks to some help from home in the form of matching knit hats made by Justin’s sister. And while I doubt the warmth of Justin’s gear, Zev’s Eskimo-like hat does seem pretty toasty. And perhaps he could share a bit of that warmth with team Kisha/Jen who are wholly unprepared for the freezing temperatures and start off this leg eager to just get out of the cold. But they’ll have a while to go before that happens so toughen up ‘til then, eh. They could use a bit of Kent/Vyxsin’s good cheer; in fact, I would prefer it if they took Kent/Vyxsin’s cheer because there is nothing so deplorable as seeing this wretched team in such a good mood. Kent/Vyx are all decked out in glitter and excited about their continued stay in the race. Kent/Vyx say that the longer the race goes on the better they are as a team and really have a chance to win it this time, and full up on enthusiasm, they begin.

But it’s not long before Kent/Vyxsin’s good mood starts to fail, because only moments later Kent has completely gone back to his moody and childlike ways after the team’s failure to secure a cab leaves him ready to “beat someone up.” Vyxsin tries to coax Kent out of his bad mood but Kent assures her that he is completely happy in his misery, let’s all applaud him for his honesty.

For the first task this week the teams must choose between two tasks: Search and Rescue. In Rescue, the teams must repel down the side of a mountain and rescue a stranded mountain climber. Once they have wheeled said climber back to the surface, the teams get their next clue. Kisha/Jen, The Globetrotters and Kent/Vyxsin all finish this task easily and are quickly on to the next. In Search, the teams must use an avalanche beacon to find and dig out training dummies buried in the snow. Once they have freed the whole dummy from snow, the teams will get their next clue. This appears to have been the more difficult of the two tasks as both Gary/Mallory and Zev/Justin have difficulty with it as the teams find it takes a great deal of physical strength and endurance to dig through the heavy snow. Gary manages to plow his team through it, putting his team just behind the other three. Unfortunately for Zev/Justin their trouble with this task has landed them at the back, for now.

For the second task, the teams have to create a Travelocity gnome out of chocolate, following the exact standards of their chocolate guides. During this challenge, Kent manages to pretty much annoy everyone by constantly harping at his teammate. Mallory says she has no clue how Vyxsin could be his team mate, but before you go calling her a saint, Vyxsin shows to everyone just how appropriate their pairing is. Apparently in painting one of the chocolate molds, instead of grabbing her cooling mold from the freezer Vyxsin allegedly took Flight Time’s more complete mold thereby moving her team ahead and his behind. When Flight Time realizes that his mold’s been stolen he loudly tries to find the culprit behind it and while everyone else assures him that they have their proper mold, Vyxsin remains quiet in the background. But, of course as you know silence is not enough to condemn anyone, but Vyxsin’s silence added on to every other team’s assurance that Vyxsin was not as far ahead as she now appears to be lends credit to the idea that she did. I totally believe that she did, during this task Vyxsin was moving super slow in painting of the molds, and even with her stolen advantage two other teams manage to pass her once again. During all of this, Kent is standing on the sidelines being his obnoxious worse making faces and signs behind Big Easy’s back because he doesn’t have the “lady balls” to say anything to his face. Coward. And on top of that, while describing how his team is going to beat the Globetrotters, this fool has the absolute nerve to slip into his racist suit using the supposed street, wanna-be hard pronunciation of “word.” Now, correct me if I’m wrong, but I haven’t heard either of the Globetrotters speak like that and so Kent’s miming this is just another form of belittling his competitor to nothing more than a stereotype. May you get what you deserve.

And justice is not too far in this case, because after the task is over the teams are told to travel on foot to the next pit stop. Kent and Vyxsin overlook this and instead take a taxi to the pit stop; which brings me no small amount of joy. When they get to the pit stop, host Phil Keoghan informs the team of their mistake and the resulting thirty minute penalty that they now must wait out. And as Kent and Vyxsin bicker over whose fault it was (he says it was hers in spite of the fact that he had the clue and repeatedly shoved it at the taxi driver), the final two teams manage to make it to the pit stop leaving Kent/Vyxsin standing out in the cold. Poor things…

And now some parting words from the delusional duo.
Kent- “I always stay positive no matter what”
Vyxsin- “I do feel bad for the teams that are left because I’m taking the best teammate with me.”
Laugh my butt off!

Here are the rankings:
1. The Globetrotters: winning a trip for two to Cook Islands
2. Kisha/Jen
Checked in within 30 minute penalty
3. Gary/Mallory
4. Zev/Justin

Next week on the season finale of The Amazing Race, the final four teams race on for a million dollars.

Season 18, Episode 10: “Too Many Cooks in the Kitchen” (original airdate May 1st, 2011)

The Amazing Race airs Sundays at 8/7c on CBS.

Photos courtesy of CBS.