Top Chef Masters Review: Weird Science

Wow, there are only 5 chefs left on Top Chef Masters and it is still anybody’s game to win. The next couple of weeks will surely fly by leading up to the finale. So the question is, what degrading thing did the show make these culinary artisans do this week?

Quickfire Challenge! The chefs need to make a hot breakfast dish in just 10 minutes (it seems like it’s always 10 minutes) using only a microwave oven. Of course all of these masters react like they’ve never even heard of a microwave before.

Their reactions were on par with someone pretentiously saying “I don’t watch TV.” Yeah but you do know that the TV has an “power” button that turns it on right?  The way these chefs were acting they couldn’t even find the “cook” button. Seriously people it’s a microwave, they’ve been around for decades, my grandma uses one, stop complaining and figure it out already.  Mary Sue Milliken says she’s never really uses one. Naomi Pomeroy had no idea how a microwave even works saying “I guess you just touch a button” Congrats Naomi, I can see why you made it this far in life.

Judging the dishes is the comedic duo of Frances Callier and Angela V. Shelton, aka Frangela. I don’t really know who they are and no one else seems to either, and the chefs are getting a little miffed about having another challenge judged by people who don’t know anything about food. I have to side with the chefs on that one. The “judges” this season have been ridiculously not food savvy.

Chef Hugh Acheson wins the challenge (boo-hiss) creating an eggs with chanterelles and bacon dish that Frangela loved and because all of the other dishes looked awful.

Elimination Challenge! Since the themes for the elimination challenges have been inconsistent this season, I thought this weeks science fair theme was rather creative. The chefs put on a foodie science fair for high schoolers to teach how things like acidity, elasticity and emulsion are used their cooking. The chefs are paired up with five advanced science students as assistants.

Hugh won the quickfire so he gets to pick his science experiment/ scientist first.  He picks Emulsion.  Traci takes Acidity, Floyd, takes the Maillard Reaction,  Mary Sue takes Viscosity, and Naomi gets stuck with with Elasticity. Is there a twist? You bet your amuse-bouche there is! The chefs can only use science lab equipment, eg. beakers (not the Muppet), test tubes, petri dishes. Not surprisingly, Bunsen burners don’t cook things very well.

They all go to the store to buy their ingredients and once again the Top Chef producers ignore my advice to stop showing the chefs shopping in a store. To reiterate my argument: NO ONE CARES.

The judges for this challenge are James, Ruth, and Curtis, with special guest…Padma! Man, I love that woman and it’s good to see her on Masters. There really isn’t any drama as usual as the chefs prepare their “experiments.” Here’s the rundown.

Mary Sue demonstrates viscosity with dulce de leche churros, chocolate mousse and spiced café de olla

Hugh explains emulsion with a fried okra salad with tomato, fennel, bacon & green goddess dressing. Emulsion supposedly happens when making the mayo. I’ll take their word for it.

Naomi’s elasticity experiment dish is a calzone with truffle, mozzarella, chanterelles & arugula, balsamic.

Traci shows off acidity with a tuna carpaccio and ahi tuna tartare.

Floyd explains the Maillard reaction with spice-crusted beef, mushrooms, asparagus & fried potatoes and beef shabu-shabu.

Take a guess what happens next. That’s correct! All five chefs are then summoned to the Judge’s Table. Mary Sue and Cardoz get off scott free for having the best dishes. Mary Sue wins the $10,000 for her charity. You can’t go wrong with churros, that’s my motto.

That leaves Pomeroy, Des Jardins and Hugh to get nitpicked. Hugh gets most of the judges’ wrath, thank god. And he gets the boot for the second time this season. Now that “The Brow” is finally gone who am I going to root for?

Season 3, Episode “Blinded Me With Science” (original air date June 1, 2011)

Top Chef: Masters airs Wednesdays at 10/9c on Bravo.

Images courtesy of Nicole Wilder and Bravo.