Transformers Dark of the Moon Review: Here We Go Again

Let me preface this all by saying I was not a Transformers fan as a child. I actually don’t even remember ever seeing it, yet still somehow being aware of its presence. I was clearly preoccupied with He-Man and the Masters of the Universe. Everything I know about the franchise, save a little research, comes from the film universe. I have no inherent nostalgia for this property. So it was with caution in 2007 that I approached Michael Bay’s first movie, and was pleasantly surprised with what I found. After a not-so-great sequel like Revenge of the Fallen, I’d love to tell you the third installment, Dark of the Moon, is a worthy successor, but…I just can’t.

This threequel picks up with Sam Witwicky (Shia LaBeouf) three months out of college, living in Washington, DC with new girlfriend Carly (Rosie Huntington-Whiteley). Sam’s facing the great millennial crisis—why can’t I get a job that makes me feel special? Understandable feelings after saving the world twice and receiving a medal from President Obama. A discovery at NEST, the base operations for the U.S./Autobots task force unravels a mystery about the end of the robot civil war and how exactly it ties into the space race of the 1960s. Along the way, franchise familiar faces Lennox (Josh Duhamel), Epps (Tyrese Gibson) and Simmons (John Turtorro) pop up, joined by a new supporting cast of humans and robots alike.

As a movie goer, I believe in being open minded about the experience. You can’t be mad about the gore in a slasher movie, you can’t be upset with the cheese in a romantic comedy, and you can’t be shocked when a Michael Bay movie is littered with more explosions than character development. Let’s face it, Transformers: Dark of the Moon isn’t vying for any major storytelling awards, as its cast repeatedly has reminded people on the press circuit. But, there was a sense of wonder in that first movie that hasn’t really ever translated into the follow-ups. Maybe it’s because we’re in a post-Super 8 summer movie world, but I need a little more than I was given here.

Let’s start with the characters, of which there’s only really one—LaBeouf’s Sam. He’s a charming guy you want to succeed, and LaBeouf’s cadence and comedic timing are probably the best part of this franchise, but I feel worn out following his journey this third time. Never did I think I’d say this, but I missed Megan Fox terribly in this installment.

Whiteley’s Carly, who I’m aware is based on a character from the 80′s cartoon, is a poor substitute and seems forced to carry out abandoned Mikaela plotlines leftover from an early draft of the script. She’s got a thing for cars, a better job than her Ivy-league educated boyfriend, etc. Some characters, like Sam’s endearingly awkward parents, are delivered in just-enough small doses, while others, like Sam’s pet autobots and former Agent Simmons, I could’ve done with less, or even none of.

Duhamel isn’t given as much to do this outing as the first two, and Gibson’s role is reduced to a glorified cameo. I don’t mind Frances McDormand’s addition and am quite amused with John Malkovich’s presence as Sam’s new boss. Patrick Dempsey, trying his best to play out of type, shows up early as Carly’s overly attentive boss and creates a good bit of tension before a late second act twist.

Even some of the robots are dealt a raw deal. Optimus Prime literally hangs out for most of the third act until showing up to help settle things. Megatron, a villain who’s never really been given his due in this series, sits around and waits for his plan to unfold with Starscream. It’s quite possible nameless new Decepticons receive more screen time than any of our returning heroes or villains. By the way, just where did all of these new baddies come from? Were they out there just waiting as part of some plan or what?

From the first minutes, I was waiting for the inevitable robot battle to start. None of the characters seem as eager as I was though. The NEST coalition is content to work on human problems while waiting for potential Decepticon attacks. In a world where we can stalk a celebrity’s every move and see street-view satellite pictures, we can’t use some tech to find giant robots hiding in Africa? More so, never at any point in the story did I feel the humans/Autobots stood a chance of losing. While the plot is tighter than it’s predecessor, screenwriter Ehren Kruger could’ve  raised the stakes by sacrificing a few name characters rather than faceless troops introduced late in the third act.

This is a movie about a big robot civil war, you can be sure lives are going to be lost just as much as stuff is going to blow up. I did enjoy Kruger’s alternate history take and the way it weaved throughout the film. Still, it at times felt far too long yet has probably the most abrupt ending in recent history. It’s almost like the creative team decided well, it’s over, so just cut now.

One real highlight is the visual f/x on this movie are absolutely perfect. The slow motion sequences where you can scan quickly all the detail of a robots face are remarkably impressive, dare I even say jaw-dropping, particularly when they share the screen with one or more of the human actors. It also features the best 3D work this side of Avatar. I’m on the fence with the format, feeling it serves well when done right, but I’ve yet to be impressed with another 3D movie this year.

A good sequel should feel like getting back together with a group of old friends and being able to pick up right where you left off. Dark of the Moon feels like an awkward run in at the bar with that high school friend you haven’t wanted to see for the past ten years; there’s a sense of obligation to see it through, but you’d rather just avoid it.

Despite Bay’s stunning visuals and penchant for dramatic shots, it’s not enough to cover the absent depth this time around. I’m sure there will be viewers predestined to love this movie, I’m just not one of them. Dark of the Moon lacks the relationships, tension and even some of the fun of the first two installments and fails to tread any new ground for the future of this franchise. With Bay and LaBeouf both announcing their departure from the property, maybe this really will be the last one.

Images courtesy of Paramount Pictures.