San Diego Comic-Con 2011: The Cleveland Show

Season three of The Cleveland Show is about to take off and, like past years, the animated show came to San Diego Comic-Con to debut new clips and discuss upcoming episodes. Series writer Rich Appel and cast members Sanaa Lathan, Kevin Michael Richardson, Reagan Gomez, John Viener and of course Cleveland himself, Mike Henry, gave away spoilers in both the press room and on the panel.

One of the things that the fans of Cleveland and most other Seth MacFarlane produced cartoons look forward to every year is the possibility of special guest appearances. Kanye West and Will.i.am. have popped in to Stoolbend, Virginia once before and are confirmed to be revisiting The Cleveland Show soon. Other various musical artists such as Bruno Mars, Nicki Minaj, Questlove and Fergie will all be showing up at some point in the future as the show is hoping to bring in more musical numbers. They also stated that there were plans for a few cover songs that the main cast will be set to perform just for added fun.

The group talked a little about the process of recording for the show and advice on the business. Appel and Henry explained what goes into finalizing the script and how the final animations play a big part. The actors may record a large amount of work, but then afterwards it may get cut down for time. After the first cinematic version of each episode is finished, the script may get cut down again until the final version. It was very interesting to hear the complexities of finishing each episode. Mike Henry gave some words of wisdom from personal experience for those hoping to make it into the voice acting world and urged anyone following the dream to basically put themselves out there. He says he started by doing anything he could locally in his home state of Virginia and even became friends with a recording studio to keep himself in the loop. Like most of the entertainment industry, it’s not an easy business to break into, as Sanaa pointed out that she had no intention of even trying out for the part of Donna on The Cleveland Show since for years she had been auditioning for voice acting gigs and was never hired. Henry added that during the brief cancellation of Family Guy a few years back, he was unable to get hired for any voice work.

Rich Appel gave the best advice in my opinion that really made an impression. For writers hoping to succeed, he suggested you shouldn’t hold back on your ideas. When it comes to collaboration, Appel says it only works if you’re really honest and not afraid to look stupid or be offensive because the line between what’s dumb and what’s clever is a thin one. He went on to say, “If you’re not confident with your own friends, you’ll never get that good idea,” cleverly adding, “and the worst they can do is cancel you.”

The panel was a fun interactive hour for the audience. As Seth MacFarlane, voice of Tim the Bear, was not in attendance, the cast staged an impromptu audition with Comic-Con volunteers to take his place. Various audience members made their ways up to the Q&A microphone to give their best impressions of Tim and were later voted for by the crowd. Two contestants tied and were both brought on stage to read a brief script scene with the cast which had to have made the winners’ days. Afterwards, a short animatic preview of an upcoming episodic spoof on the blockbuster movie Die Hard, titled “Die Semi-Hard”, previewed for the crowds’ entertainment. The Cleveland Show cast mentioned later in the panel that just like Family Guy had re-imagined the Star Wars saga, the show was hoping to do their own retelling of a popular but still undecided series in the future.

The Cleveland Show is Seth MacFarlane’s third animation endeavor and is well on its way to a fourth season. Hardcore fans look forward to Seth’s work and appreciate the cast and crew that make it all possible. I hope to speak for Cleveland Brown fans everywhere when I say I hope to see him for many more Comic-Cons to come.

 

Images courtesy of FOX.

Cowboys & Aliens Review: Mild, Mild West

The idea to fuse two of film’s most recognized genres, the shoot-‘em-up Western and sci-fi creature feature, seems like the kind of no-brainer cash cow any studio would have wrangled long before the likes of Alien vs. Predator or cars that turn into robots made it to the silver screen. Unfortunately, the long awaited, succinctly dubbed Cowboys & Aliens arrives with too little of both titular elements to be considered a successful hybrid. There are cowboys, all right, and aliens aplenty, but director Jon Favreau’s attempt to cohabitate the two results in a strangely flat, incoherent drawl that evokes neither the stoic pathos of successful Westerns nor the galactic intellectualism of the best science fiction. Instead, five screenwriters (!) and more than a dozen (!!) producers, some of brow-raising pedigree, joined forces to adapt the simple, intriguing concept from Scott Mitchell Rosenberg’s 2006 graphic novel and pulverize it into a curiously uninspired tumbleweed of space dust.

Things do get off to a promising start, as Daniel Craig‘s craggy, virtually wordless Man With No Name awakens in the middle of the Arizona desert circa 1870s with a punctured gut and alarmingly anachronistic metal contraption shackled to his wrist. As he moseys his way toward the sleepy town of Absolution, the mystery man’s bewildered gaze makes it clear he’s being introduced to himself as well as the viewers. The intrigue quickly dissipates, however, as the Western setting is weakly reinforced with awkward character presentation. The motley crew of townsfolk is understandably curious about the drifter’s appearance, particularly when a brawl with the entitled, pantywaist town drunk (Paul Dano) results in the sheriff (a brusque Keith Carradine, aptly cast and aptly ‘stached) noticing a Wanted poster emblazoned with the enigmatic gunslinger’s image, and name: Jake Lonergan. When Dano’s whiny man-child enlists the help of his father, grizzly cattle czar Woodrow Dolarhyde (Harrison Ford, a galaxy far, far away from the Mos Eisley Cantina), the amnesiac Lonergan is fingered as the leader of an outlaw gang. This news surprises him far more than it does the audience.

Before justice can be served, the opaque night sky is dotted with a curious series of lights that quickly morphs into a dizzying extraterrestrial attack, and not a moment too soon. The aliens interrupt the saloon-worthy shenanigans and snatch random civilians with their own lassos – tentacle-like ropes that dart from the bottom of their spacecrafts with the precision of a sniper rifle. Lonergan notices amidst the chaos that the clunky appendage on his wrist responds to the enemy, finagling a weapon far more useful than anything the 19^th century has to offer. The fact he can’t remember how or why he acquired it isn’t the highest priority at the moment, but the nagging, grimy-colored flashbacks hint he’ll have to figure it out eventually.

With both cowboys and aliens sufficiently herded on screen and battle lines distinctly drawn, such character-developing subplots take an unfortunate backseat as the meandering action is thrust front and center. Any hopes for a warp drive leap into genre-blending innovation, sadly, are subsequently blasted. Among the wreckage include a clumsily presented alliance with a tribe of Native Americans, wasted opportunity to explore the origin of the aliens and mythology of their background, and the groan-inducing romance between Lonergan and Ella (Olivia Wilde), a mysterious drifter herself whose knowledge of the visitors and Lonergan’s past hint she may have ulterior motives of her own. The pairing of Craig and Ford, meanwhile, had headlines brimming with anticipated delight over a Bond and Indy dynamic duo, but only Craig seems truly invested. Ford, on the other hand, seems to be collecting a paycheck.

Despite the lumbering pace and uneven direction, Cowboys & Aliens certainly has its share of summer movie fun, particularly evident in Craig’s squinty-eyed mastery of the lone wanderer machismo, the creepy, three-pronged hands that protrude from the aliens’ chests, and the fantastic mothership that conveniently looks ripped from the production design of Dune. While it’s fair to say that a movie titled Cowboys & Aliens shouldn’t be knocked for eschewing historical accuracy and literary symbolism, it is a valid argument to wonder why the creative effort behind the cowboys and aliens isn’t a bit more apparent. As Lonergan and Dolarhyde battle the space invaders with all the Civil War technology they can muster, it’s disheartening to realize what they’re allegedly fighting for isn’t given a fair chance to develop emotional resonance. Only Sam Rockwell’s unassuming saloon owner evokes genuine pathos, as his search for his missing wife presents the most touching relationship in the entire movie. As for the rest, it’s all dust in the wind.

Images courtesy of Universal Studios, Zade Rosenthal and DreamWorks II.

The Smurfs Review: Smurf On Ahead, Nothing To Smurf Here

The Smurfs cartoons were a daily presence in my life growing up. It originally aired from 1981-1989 with 420 episodes and I would watch many of these every day, especially on weekends and summer vacation. Looking back, its no wonder that my parents never watched this with me because of the ubiquitous “La la la lala lalalala,” that I’m sure would drive any adult a little nuts.

The Smurfs are magically transported to New York City via a portal on the day of the Blue Moon festival. Clumsy Smurf (Anton Yelchin) accidentally leads Gargamel and his cat Azrael into the hidden Smurf village wherein chaos ensues after the sorcerer begins to start destroying their homes while trying to capture the tiny little blue men. Clumsy, being Clumsy, gets separated from the rest of the Smurfs causing Papa (Jonathan Winters), Smurfette (Katy Perry), Grouchy (George Lopez), Brainy (Fred Armisen) and Gutsy (Alan Cumming) to go after him. In New York, they meet Patrick (Neil Patrick Harris) and Grace Winslow (Jayma Mays), a young couple expecting their first child. Patrick works for a cosmetic company headed by Odile (Sofia Vergara), and recently has a trial promotion as the Vice President of marketing. If he can please Odile then he gets to keep the job. Of course that isn’t easy with the Smurfs involved. They are well meaning little blue creatures but incredibly out of place in this modern world. Still as they try to find their way back home and stop Gargamel from capturing them and stealing their Smurf essence, audiences are imparted with some important lessons.

The 2011 film doesn’t quite pack the same entertainment punch as cartoon did my five-year-old self saw it back in the day, but if you are in that age group now and watched it this opening weekend you probably enjoyed yourself. I’ll admit that the physical comedy of the movie were the parts where I laughed with the five, seven, and ten year olds who were in the theater with me. Hank Azaria, who plays Gargamel the dimwitted sorcerer hunting for Smurfs, took the brunt of the falls, hits, tosses, and crashes. Azaria did a spot on job in his portrayal of Gargamel’s demeanor and movement, but I just couldn’t get over the voice. Of course there was no way it could be the same, but it just kept reminding me that it was Azaria playing Gargamel, not really Gargamel come to life. That being said, I’m biased and I’m sure the kids enjoyed it.

Harris and Mays gave decent performances, but to be honest I kept feeling like I was watching an episode of Glee and soon the two actors would burst into spontaneous singing. Mays plays Emma Pillsbury on the hit show and Harris guested as Bryan Ryan (he won an Emmy for outstanding guest actor in a comedy series for this role).

The voice acting caught me by surprise, as I had no idea that Lopez was playing Grouchy, which was quite fitting. My favorite had to be Cumming as Gutsy because for one I couldn’t recognize his voice and secondly, he had the best lines.

Still my favorite character in the entire film has to be Azrael the cat. It was the best comic relief and had the funniest expressions. Kudos to the voice actor, CGI team, and the animal trainer!

Bottom line – parents, your kids will enjoy it and children of the eighties I say stick to the cartoons.

Pictures Courtesy of Sony Pictures Animation

The Bachelorette Review: To The Wire

It’s the ninth week, and Savusavu, Fiji is the last stop in our Bachelorette voyage. We’re greeted by clear blue skies and sparkling ocean; Ashley calls it “the ultimate place to fall in love [and] hopefully get engaged.” That is also my sincere hope for her, though I stop short of dreaming up a wild scenario in which an actual wedding occurs and somehow results in a happy marriage. There is no one more deserving, since this woman has put in more work than I could ever be bothered to invest when it comes to the hunt for a life partner. Ashley is weary, restless, anxious, and ready to be swept away into a home made of her lifelong dreams and aspirations. “The beginning of this journey seems like years ago,” she says. You ain’t kiddin’.

Ash begins by recapping her hometown dates with the three remaining men. They all went well, in her estimation, and she left with a much better understanding of each potential mate after interacting with their families. Ben, she says, “is everything that I’ve been looking for, and there’s never a dull moment with him.” He can be goofy and silly but sincere and honest at the same time, while allowing Ashley to be herself with no pretense. She thinks of Constantine as mature, smart, thoughtful, and honest. Though she can see their partnership “lasting a very long time,” she acknowledges, “My relationship with Constantine is moving very slow.” JP looked like a model right out of the limo, and Ash had no idea how she got so lucky. She describes him as a grown man who’s very sincere and reveals that she “knew after the first date.” “Sometimes you don’t need 20 dates to find out how you feel about somebody,” she explains. I think the instant chemistry and ease between JP and Ashley sets them apart as a couple; all of the men may very well be mature and honest indeed, but which of them actually excites her?

Too suddenly, we go from a pensive Ashley writing in a prop journal in her Fiji villa next to the water to a shot of an unwanted visitor approaching with a determined stare soaked in delusions and impotent self-importance. Of course, it’s Ryan, accompanied by ominous tones on the soundtrack. Cowering, we watch him approach the decadent seaside villa while his voiceover informs us of his intent. Apparently, he thinks there are things left “unexplored” with Ashley. “What if she’s regretting sending me home?” She isn’t. This is such a silly piece of plotting, and I don’t think anything happens on this show without the hands of the producers meddling at some point in the process. If ABC didn’t hold a conference call to convince Ryan to creepily impose himself on Ashley in Fiji, they at least purchased his plane ticket when he brought up the idea.

Ryan surprises Ashley at her door, and she looks surprised and a bit weirded out. Calling him “Ry,” she wears the same pasted-on grin that can be seen on the faces of cult members at dinnertime and recites twice that it’s good to see him. They sit down so that Ryan can explain himself. He had a whole plane ride to prepare a speech, but all he can say is that their one-on-one date wasn’t “conducive to passion” or something, and they weren’t able to “see things through.” He speaks frantically, hoping he can provoke self-doubt and confusion (the way to a woman’s heart). Acting as if Chris Harrison simply lifted his eyes from a book and nodded toward the right direction, Ryan says, “Like, wow, like, I really feel that we didn’t get to see things through. So I called Chris, [who said], ‘alright, she’s in Fiji.’” He’s brimming over with anxiety and entitlement, telling Ashley that he wants to spend time with her “so bad” but doesn’t want her to rush a response. “I’m here for a couple days,” he says, urging her to wait and think before providing an answer. This is his way of ensuring she thinks about him while on dates with the other men, but I hope she’s too smart to fall for that. Ashley doesn’t really speak before they say goodbye, so I look for signs of life and hope she’ll come to the right decision (much like the one she already made before it was disrespected and discarded by yet another camera-whoring prick).

I am so tired of this wine-making bore that I don’t know what to do with myself. Ben and Ashley meet on the sand somewhere and hug and kiss before boarding a boat for their date. He tells viewers that his connection with the bachelorette is “effortless,” which I think means he’s her safe bet in case JP gets cold feet. Ashley tells Ben how nervous she was to meet his mother. “I wanted her to like me,” she admits in a small voice, to which Ben can only answer, “I got a really good feeling from my mom and my sister.” Ashley calls their relationship “easy and comfortable.” At least one of us is at ease, because I’m crawling out of my skin as they smear sunblock on each other, Ashley straddling him under the white clouds. “It’s like we’re on a honeymoon or something,” she gushes to the camera before they dive in to snorkel alongside swarms of gorgeous, colorful fish. “I feel protected,” Ashley reports. “Today was perfect,” says Ben.

The two wild and crazy kids head over to dinner atop picturesque sand. “It’s been a long time since I felt this way for someone, since I’ve been in love,” Ben tells us, adding that he’s nervously awaiting his opportunity to say ‘I love you’ to Ashley and mean it tonight. As they eat and recap their day, both marveling at their comfort level, Ashley asks Ben what would need to happen in order to push their relationship further. “One of us would have to come forward and commit,” replies Ben, who then implies that he’s available and willing to spend the rest of his life with Ashley. “My feelings are growing, and I’m on my way to the whole ‘I love you’ thing,” he tells her. While that was a bit less direct than one might have hoped, Ash goes for it, kisses him, and reveals in a talking head that she’s so excited for the two of them to demonstrate their love to one another in private. Ashley hands Ben the fantasy suite invitation from Chris, which offers them the option of forgoing their individual rooms for a shared suite tonight. To Ben, it’s a ‘Get Out of Jail Free’ card; he accepts the invite for a nightcap and tells the camera, “I don’t think I’m gonna tell Ashley that I love her tonight,” insisting they can look at each other and “get it.” How convenient. Beautiful private quarters await, complete with a bed covered in rose petals, sitting in a large room which opens up to a pool. Ben and Ashley take a quick dip before he carries her out of the water toward the bedroom. They kiss some more. “I can see myself with Ben, and I can say that I’m really falling in love with him,” says Ash.

Constantine takes his turn next; he meets up with his date the next morning and boards a helicopter with the excitement of a child. He’s never been on one before, and he’s super stoked or something. Since there is no way in hell that Constantine will make it through this episode, this is an epic waste of time. I hate to keep threatening self-harm, but if I see one more helicopter take off on this show, I can’t promise I won’t stab myself in the corneas. I get that flying over crystal blue ocean is romantic and special, but it’s not as interesting to watch as ABC thinks it is. Ashley calls Constantine a “Greek god” and says “I could not picture a more perfect date.” What about all those other ones that you already designated as “purrr-fehkt,” or what about the arguably more perfect scenario in which you’re with a man you actually like? Constantine is a kid on a field trip, excited to be flying in a helicopter over Fiji but apathetic about the company.

Ashley walks her hopeless case to a waterfall on Taveuni Island so that she can resurrect some tired metaphors for the audience before jumping off the rocks. In love, she explains, “both people have to let go; both people have to fall.” Of course, it must be mentioned that love is a “leap of faith” just like this leap they’re taking into the water together. Since there’s not really any love to be had here, it seems sort of cheap and unnecessary. Still, they proceed, sitting on a blanket in front of the waterfall while Ashley gives Constantine the third degree. She wants to know how many houses he had to look at before buying one (108) so that she can shame him for over-thinking before making a serious decision. “You take time, and you put in effort,” she complains. “Here, we do have time, but we don’t have a lot of it.” She’s hoping things will “take off” tonight, that she’ll be reassured of his interest in her. I think by this point, she should be glad to trim the fat. Constantine looks at her sort of blankly, but there’s just the faintest bit of desperation coded into his gaze. “Send me home,” he seems to be begging. They’re not touching or holding hands, and neither looks very comfortable. Ashley is nervous that he needs more time, which they don’t have.

Constantine and Ashley return to Savusavu for the evening, now holding hands as they sit to dine. He says “okay” as timidly as possible when she toasts to “hopefully having a lot of time together,” and they resort to talking about the fruity taste of the wine. Naturally, this reminds them of winemaker Ben, and Ashley cuts to the chase by asking Constantine how he feels about having a friend date the same girl he’s dating. “If it were somebody I didn’t respect, it’d be a lot harder,” he answers, offering that he couldn’t do anything to stop it if she and Ben really fell in love in the end. Neither would he want to, he says, since no one should stand in the way of true love. Ashley pretends to admire that quality, calling it strong-mindedness and an ability to resist being consumed by emotion. He’s just not that into you, my dear. Putting two and two together, she says, “I don’t feel like you wanna hold my hand or be around me all the time…I have nothing to feed off of.” Constantine replies that he’s usually affectionate instinctively, but he hasn’t been able to be that way with her. She asks if the problem is her personally or if it’s “the process,” meaning the cameras and the time crunch and the competition and staged dates.

Things get sort of uncomfortable when it becomes clear that Constantine has no interest in pursuing something serious with Ashley. It’s been hard for him to admit that he’s not feeling it, but he subtly lets her know that the “process” is not the issue here. Saying that he can’t approach her father to ask for his blessing when he doesn’t really mean it, Constantine states, “I respect you too much as a person to make this any harder than it needs to be.” Ashley is holding out until the bitter end, refusing to give up on the guy until he explicitly rejects her. When she asks where this revelation leaves them as a couple, he answers, “If we’re gonna be honest about it, this means the end of the road for me.” She thanks him for being “real” and not forcing feelings like other men might in his situation. Tearing up a bit, she hugs him goodbye. Even though we saw this coming many miles away, it’s still an abrupt end for Constantine. They didn’t even touch their food! There’s no way I’d let a perfectly good plate of gourmet dinner in Fiji sit and get cold in front of me while some guy who never showed any interest takes his sweet time cutting me loose. Ashley sits alone at the table, staring at the fantasy suite card and key, wondering what it would have been like to spend the night with him. It’s obvious that she would have axed him at the rose ceremony, anyway, but I guess she wanted to give him a test drive, anyhow. Oh, Ash. You knew what you were doing all along. How could I have doubted you? Ashley claims to be shocked that Constantine didn’t want to stick it out a bit longer and see what could happen between them, but we all know it’s way too late for a wait-and-see attitude. Now, in order to inject a bit of suspense and play up her insecurity for the viewers at home, Ash pretends to be super worried about JP and Ben abandoning her, as well: “What if I end up alone, and all of this was for nothing?” Didn’t that Bentley guy say you could give him a call if this thing didn’t work out? It’s worth a shot.

The next morning, it’s finally time to confront Ryan, who’s been waiting impatiently for days to hear Ashley’s verdict. She goes into their meeting telling us that Ryan is successful, gorgeous, and “the sweetest guy,” and that it means so much to her that he would fly out to see her. Why do these people keep forgetting the millions of other factors which influence contestant behavior on this show? He would have flown out to Fiji for literally any other woman on Earth if it meant he’d get more chances to ham it up for the cameras. He’s hoping some impressionable young filly is watching at home, scrambling to find out how to get in touch with him and heal his broken heart.

Ashley knocks on his door as her voiceover assures us that she knows exactly what she has to do. Ryan greets her with his heart beating out of his chest, and they have a few laughs outside on the balcony. For a few moments, I’m nervous about what Ashley will say to him, thinking maybe he’s brainwashed her enough to secure himself a spot in the running. But she does the right thing, telling him that while rejecting him the first time was difficult, and while he’s everything she’s looking for “on paper,” she knows she made the right decision the first time. “I didn’t feel, like, that passion,” she admits, adding that she has found it with the two other men. Ouch. It’s a good thing that Ryan’s disappointment and self-pity are entirely manufactured, because I might be tempted to feel bad for him. He tells her that he’s happy for her and says that he’ll never hold back in matters of love again. He whines that he’s got a great life and is just “missing someone to hold hands with through it all.”  Then he repeats “It’ll happen” to himself four times in a row. Geez, is this man unstable. Have at him, ladies.

Finally, Ashley gets to share a date with her true love JP. She leaps into his arms and kisses him, threatening to never let go. He tells her he’s been anxious and dying to see her. My bitter, man-hating heart really melts when they’re onscreen. They board one of those dreaded helicopters, but I honestly don’t mind this time, since they’re so adorable as they sit and hold hands, quietly canoodling. Ashley’s talking head marvels at the fact that they can sit and enjoy the view “without having to talk,” but it’s kind of hard to converse when your lips are pressed against another’s, so I can’t give them too much credit. They land on some small island with a hammock, where JP tells Ash that his father said she’d be a welcome addition to the family. “I feel pretty good about us,” he says. “I’m ready for the end.” I’m surprised at how confident he is with the bachelorette; he is demure when asked what he’s been thinking about lately and talks about living “in the moment” rather than being paranoid about the other guys. They swim and hug while JP voiceovers, “When I look at Ashley, I see the woman I want to spend my life with.” She says their bond “could last a lifetime.” In his estimation, the only thing that could improve his day is seeing Ashley stop everything and declare him The One. Let’s compare that sentiment to Constantine not being able to make it all the way through dinner or even stomach a fantasy suite date before going home.

In the middle of the Savusavu jungle, JP and Ashley dine and talk about how perfect everything is. He tells her, “You get me, and I get you.” To reassure him about not feeling intimidated by his own feelings, Ashley delivers a misleadingly-worded message, saying she “said goodbye to two guys” already this week. Like a teaser for the next episode, she hints that “someone came back,” of course leaving JP with a terrified expression; he’s relieved and happy to hear that Constantine was cut while Ryan came back and was rejected. She tells him not to be hung up on her other relationships, because she doesn’t want this to be a masculine competition that’s all about winning. Is that why the guys have been boxing and racing each other in direct competitions on group dates? JP tells Ashley that he wants to be the last guy standing but only because he wants to end up with her in the end, not because he wants to beat the other guy. I actually believe him, and I hope she does, too. In a voiceover, JP declares, “I want Ashley to be my wife.”

Next, JP is super, super cute while he nervously reads the fantasy suite card. “Uh, yeah, I think I’m into that,” he says before they kiss and head to the room. As if on an actual honeymoon, JP waits on the bed while Ashley changes into something more comfortable (which looks like a men’s button-down white shirt) in the bathroom, emerging to have him pin her down and kiss her until it becomes uncomfortable and I wonder when the cameras will leave. If she doesn’t pick him in the end, it’ll be an unspeakable crime.

Chris Harrison sits the bachelorette down to recap her dates. Ashley doesn’t add any insight except to say that she was really fighting for Constantine, but the lack of romance made her efforts fruitless and that she had a hard time saying goodbye to “good guy” Ryan. Even though both remaining men will get roses tonight, she somehow thinks it’s important to hold the ceremony so that she can hear and see Ben and JP accept their roses with full consent. “As hard as it would be to see someone leave at this point, I just have to know,” she tells us, as if ABC would allow one of the men to bail out before she has her family fly out and help her choose a husband. “I’m ready to be engaged, but are they?” she wonders. The good news is that only one of them has to be ready, and I think she knows by now who she wants. I can’t allow myself to accept that Ashley is so insecure as to believe that out of 25 men, there couldn’t possibly be two who’d fall in love and be willing to win her hand in marriage, so I consider all of this nonsense a ratings grab. At the rose ceremony, the guys accept their roses without complaint, of course, but Ashley thanks them profusely for sticking around. This woman is not a pathetic, sniveling, self-doubting, fearful little girl. She just plays one on TV.

Season 7, Episode 9 (original airdate July 25, 2011.)

The Bachelorette airs Mondays at 8/7c on ABC.

Images courtesy of Lou Rocca and ABC.

Project Runway Review: Pajamas and a Bedsheet

I’m a virgin to Runway, although as my previous editorials make clear, not fashion. All the who shot Johns about the show “ain’t really none of my business,” (John Legend) if you will. I’m going to give you my raw opinion of the seam, stitch, silhouette and style of the final sixteen designers who arrived in NYC, shoulders back, chests poked out proudly and feeling like they have the creative eye and best knack to be the top, new, fresh designer and have done something spectacular by making the cut.

At the top of the show, the judges had to dwindle the hopeful designers from a 20 to 16. The most interesting but obvious pick was Anya who was Miss Trinidad but who only learned to sew four months ago when she knew she’d be coming to Runway. I’m not sure if the judges’ selection of her was a political move as if we owed Trinidad a favor or an envious move as if one of the judges wished they could have been a pageant queen, but picking a designer who just recently learned to sew and who needed “a lot” of help sewing her line would have been like Simon Cowell picking a singer who’d just recently learned the scales. Anya entered the competition to unbalanced scales, and after watching the first half of the first challenge, it showed.

5 a.m. Tim awakened and escorted the designers through the city in their pajamas and one bed sheet off their beds to the design room. They were given their HP tablet and challenged to create a design using their PJs, bed sheet, and raw materials in the design room. They had until 10 p.m. to finish their creations. A few of the designers stood out either ‘cause of their design, story, or personal style.

Honestly, Rafael’s flamboyant personality juxtaposed with his contrasting feminine hair, and his kinky goatee caught my attention. Rafael’s most prominent bed wear was a leopard print head scarf. Tim all but demanded that Rafael use his headscarf in his design, and so he finally did. He used the scarf to make an accessory, specifically a necklace. My favorite piece was the panels on the back of the blouse. Sadly, while the scarf added a little pop to his ‘fit and the back panels brought the pizazz, the pants looked like fitted, comfort/work-out pants.

Anya proved to the judges and herself that she could sew when her model walked the runway in a silk, pleated gray trouser. Using the pattern from her pajama dress, she created a mid-riff top with a single back panel and impressed the judges. However, in their heart of hearts, in the back of their heads, they really were more impressed with the pattern in which Anya goes to bed and with the fact that she basically was able to sew instead of the totality of her design.

Although the judges couldn’t choose between Rafael and Josh for the worst design, Julie already had my vote. From my couch view, I could tell that the pants did not fit her model well. More so, she had a single-sided pocket that went from her midsection to the right side of the pant. The sides looked like they had just been gathered, bunched and pinned together so she could push the model down the runway. Know why that was? She used my one style faux pas – elastic in the waistband! Julie knew her model looked a good, hot mess. Josh’s design was a little better although not by much. He made a white, pleated pair of shorts, a red tank, and a gray, hooded jacket. Because the tank did not initially fit his model, he sewed a panel in the middle. It too looked like a vomitous mess of material, thread, and waste of time.

Laura a.k.a “Barbie” created one of my favorite outfits. Purple, lace blouse and jacket made out of her lace pajama pant and a tie-dyed, wide-legged pant. Bryce made another favorite ‘fit — made out of his pajama tank, a mini dress with off-the-shoulder bell sleeves. He accessorized the model nicely with a long, multi-tiered necklace. I was surprised that I liked Kimberly’s look. From her It-esque weave, I did not think she’d turn out this chic, white pant creation with a wide, teal band. Lastly, rounding out my four, Fallene pulled an E.Sosa move and used a bold, unique design to create what could become a signature design, if, in Fallene’s case, not for possible copyright infringement. Using the image of the clown vomiting a rainbow in a commode from her pajama top, she too created a chic little number. It was a black and white striped, backless dress with a gold band at the natural waist, which was taken from the rest of her pajama top. The judges’ top pick was not one of mine, so I’ll leave that surprise for those of you who have yet to see the episode.

For the designers Josh, Cecelia and Anya who created a bottom with a pleat, I had a problem. In the design room, Tim asked one of the designers a very important question: who is the mannequin, for whom are you designing? Any bottom with a pleat must at some point in the woman’s sashay not pull but fall gallantly down her stride. Every piece a woman wears should enhance her features and create the illusion that she is as beautiful and flawless as the garment. Even though the models are probably a size 2, eventually those clothes are going to be cut for a size 10, 12, or 14, and probably even replicated for plus size women. Tight pleats do not enhance a woman’s hip. It makes them look bigger, thus it does not make her look better. So, if the pleat isn’t going to gallop down the leg, leave the pant flat, lest the garment is either returned to the department store or it volunteers itself to be sent to the dreaded pile of threads headed to Goodwill.

I feel like I need a backdrop or scene behind the models as they walk the runway. Designers, answer Tim’s rhetorical question: for whom are you designing these clothes, and for what occasion? It seems like most designers created an outfit for the club or a night out on the town. Only two designers, Laura and Viktor, created something that was versatile enough to wear to work although I highly doubt it was intentional. Not that I’d expect everything to be ready-to-work wear; however, the reality is women spend 60% of their waking day at work. Our clothes need to be stylish and transferable.

Season 9, Episode 1: “Come As You Are” (originally aired July 28, 2011)

Make it work and watch Project Runway, Thursdays at 9/8c on Lifetime.

Images courtesy of Lifetime.

Video: WUN2K w/ Erin Biglow Interview w/ Warehouse 13′s Saul Rubinek

Poptimal.com’s Podcast host Erin Biglow’s (What U Need To Know) 2011 Comic Con Interview of Saul Rubinek from SyFy’s Warehouse 13.

Follow us at @Poptimal and subscribe to our podcasts on iTunes.

Hell’s Kitchen Review: Gordon Ramsay’s Diary

Tuesday, July 26th 2011

Dear Diary,

Ho-ly Shit. I cannot believe the plebs they have sacked me with this go-around. Every year I say to myself whilst looking into a mirror, “Gordo, do not sign onto another season of Hell’s Kitchen. It’s not worth it. You’re a ruggedly handsome, world-renowned, charming, accented, hugely successful-yet-down-to-earth Michelin star chef. Don’t give another restaurant to someone whose only culinary claim to fame is the ability to burn toast.” And yet, here we are. Back in L.A. to run another group of hopefuls through the meat grinder.

Over the past few weeks, the men’s team have absolutely taken the piss out of themselves, getting their asses handed to them by the ladies time and time again. Watching the Blue team in the kitchen is like seeing a clown car pull up and spill out with a horde of rabid chimps who proceed to destroy everything they touch and throw their shit at one another, but not before throwing it up to the pass for me to evaluate and serve to my customers. My God, Diary, it is bloody dismal. However, the drama with the ladies is worthy of an MMA bout. And while we’re on the subject, might I ask that they all just collect themselves, hop into some bikinis, and duke it out in a mud pit so we can please move the fuck on? Elise’s mouth runs so hot, so fast, that I’m shocked diarrhea hasn’t shot out of it yet. The attitude on the girl is absolutely relentless. Her most archest of nemeses, Carrie, was on the chopping block last week, but I kept her, not because she is a good cook, but because I owed a favor to the network to keep the drama unfolding. Why else would I have kept her around? Well guess what, Fox? It worked. I thought someone put an air raid siren in the dorms last night, but it was just the Red Team being as catty has humanly possible.

For this week’s challenge, I had the contestants get up close and personal with a truckload of chickens. The more chickens they caught in a hay-filled pen, the more ingredients they were able to use in the kitchen tonight. All the chefs took turns running around the pen in overalls, giving their best country bumpkin impersonation and they did it with a smile on their faces.

…..

 

So sorry about that, Diary. I was consumed with laughter thinking back to the whole ordeal. I kill myself sometimes. After the game, the teams split into pairs where they created chicken dishes using the ingredients that they won earlier. Of course, Carrie completely ruined one of her team’s dishes by serving it raw, just in time for my special guest judges, writers from People Magazine and Entertainment Weekly. The raw fried chicken was, of course, disgusting, which gave the Red Team an immediate disadvantage, though they were able to catch up quickly and tie it up. Miraculously, the Red Team pulled it out and off the back of the win, got to fly the coop and take in some Go-cart racing. The Blue Team did not fare as well as they prepped the kitchen for the night’s service.

Which brings me to the service. Good God, the bloody dinner service. Really though, it started during prep when Elise started running her mouth to one of my sous chefs. On top of that, each team had VIP guest Olympic athletes to serve for some added pressure. Of course, it didn’t take long for them to start unraveling and it didn’t take long after that for Monterray to start giving my other sous chef a ration of shit as well. In front of these Olympians, bastions of good sportsmanship, the blue team puts more energy into fighting than cooking which perfectly set the stage for Chino to completely ruin a Wellington by serving it raw. RAW! Not once, not twice, but THRICE. I couldn’t take it and finally told the blue team to fuck off upstairs. Red Team was not much better. It’s like we were in the middle of a volleyball match and I was the ball. And that’s all she wrote. I shut the Red kitchen down quickly after. It was absolutely pathetic. Nobody won and the best news I could dig out of the whole mess was that one of these meatheads would be going home.

When the teams returned for elimination, it was pretty clear who’s necks were to stick out: from Blue, Chino and Monterray; from Red, Carrie and Elise. The four stepped up and started to grovel in the hopes that it would be enough to continue their stay in the kitchen. But who to pick? Monterray totally shut down. Chino kept serving raw meat. Carrie is no stranger to constantly screwing the pooch. Elise is the biggest blowhard I’ve seen during my time with the show and guess what? The entire Red team wanted me to kick Elise to the curb. But I decided instead to send Chino home, because he simply could not cook.

I’m quite literally at a loss. Between the constant fighting and lack of skill, I’d be shocked if most of these “cooks” could competently make a frozen pizza. In fact, maybe that’s what the next challenge should be. I challenge them to stop acting like fucking mental patients and find the wherewithal to stare at an oven for twenty minutes. Or how about pouring kibble into a dog dish for my kids’ pet? There’s got to be something they can do other than under-cook my fucking Beef Wellington. I suppose only time will tell. I can only hope they improve because if they don’t, this may very well be the last Hell’s Kitchen ever.

Season 9, Episode 4: “14 Chefs Compete” (originally aired July 26, 2011)

Witness the culinary incompetence on Hell’s Kitchen, Monday and Tuesdays at 8/7c on FOX.

For another take on this episode, check out “Sears of a Clown” by Desiree Neall.

Images courtesy of FOX/IMDbPro

Comic-Con 2011: Falling Skies Press Room, The Human Element Renewed Them

When you think TNT, you don’t necessarily think alien invasion. In fact you might not think post-apocalyptic survival either. But for Falling Skies that was just renewed for a second season, it appears to be a good fit for the network that’s brought you such dramas as Saving Grace, The Closer, and Hawthorne. Perhaps having Steven Spielberg as the executive producer didn’t hurt either.

Falling Skies is explained by the cast and producers as a family drama at heart but set against the backdrop of a post-apocalyptic alien invasion show.

“When I first read it, it was a simple story centered around a family as the primary story. The alien stuff, it’s great science fiction but it’s secondary stuff. It’s really about the people,” said actor Moon Bloodgood, who plays Anne Glass, a civilian doctor.

The cast were definitely in a great mood knowing that they’ll be coming back to work in October on the second season. Interestingly enough, after they were done with filming the first season, they were able to tweak things here and there to lead audiences into next years new set of episodes.

We will learn more about the aliens or the “skitters” and why they invaded earth and what they want. So far, they have been largely static characters, but show producers Justin Falvey and Darryl Frank are promising that we’ll get more on them in season two. This has been the question most asked by fans, who are eager to see the humanizing of the skitters. Wyle adds that people are starting to develop their own theories, which has been great as they develop their fan base.

Being set in a post-apocalyptic world, the actors are playing characters that have to fight to survive. Drew Roy (who plays Hal Mason, oldest son of Noah Wyle’s Tom Mason) spoke about having to learn to ride a dirt bike, practicing with an arsenal of every gun you can imagine, and just trying not kill each other.

In preparation for the role, Wyle and Will Patton (as Captain Weaver) both looked to war and the military. Wyle watched war films to get a feel for what it would be like to be a resistance fighter against large invading armies.

“It feels like a different kind of war drama,” Wyle said.

Patton in the meantime spoke about how he studied every war book he could find to really feel what war was like and being in the front lines.

I haven’t followed the show, which premiered just last month, but it is definitely an interesting premise to see people being placed in extreme circumstances. Falling Skies asks the question, if you were in a situation of extreme stress and violence, would you rise to become a leader to help people or would you run to the hills and just protect your family? They claim the appeal of the show is the human element because it’s about real people.

“It’s the citizen soldier question,” said Falvey.

The cast and producers were definitely passionate about the show and the characters and with the popularity of the post-apocalyptic genre for the moment, the show may prove itself to be a success with the masses.

 

So You Think You Can Dance Q&A: Jess LeProtto and Jordan Casanova

Jordan Casanova and Jess LeProtto, both sort of surprising exits from last week’s So You Think You Can Dance, joined a conference call to talk about their experience on the show and what they hope to accomplish moving forward – after the tour, of course.

As far as how the two of them got interested in dance, eventually setting them on this path, both had pretty standard beginnings. For Jordan, she “always wanted to perform, so any chance I could get I took it. They put me in dance and I was hooked the moment I stepped inside the studio. I guess it was just a natural instinct inside me.” Jess grew up with a sister who loved dance, and a family who took him to her dance studio where he “watched under the door and caught the bug.”

As children Jordan connected with one of her teachers, who she claims is the person she looks up to most, as far as the dance world is concerned. “She’s been there for me since I was 11 years old. She’s a great teacher, choreographer, and a good person.” Jess (no surprise here) idolizes Gene Kelly. “I’ve been inspired by his style, and watching him has made me the performer I am today.”

They talked a lot about the critiques on the show, and although it’s the audience’s instinct to defend them, they understand that being an artist means being critiqued. Jordan explained “No one likes to hear the negative comments, but we are dancers and we get critiqued. Negative comments push you to strive for better critiques the next week. Everything they said pushed me to where I am now.” She also responded to a question regarding Nigel’s comments on her solo performance a few weeks ago, suggesting she hadn’t worked hard enough to give them something new. “I’m happy with how I performed, and this last week I did a Contemporary solo for a change. I had fund and I left my heart on stage, and that’s all I can do.”

Jess added his two cents about critique, agreeing “It’s hard to hear negative comments but they do make your stronger. You have to remember they see something in you and they want to help you improve because they believe it’s worth it. They’re not bashing you, they just want to note something that will help you in your career.”

Good heads on these two 18 year olds. It’s a hard lesson, for those of us who work in creative industries, but it’s the truth and you’ll never make it if you take critique personally.

Neither of them expected to be in the bottom this week, but neither were they surprised. Jordan responded “The surprises are the great thing about this show, and I’m happy to have been a part of it and gotten this far….the competition is so tight this year, everyone is so phenomenal.” Jess added “You’re never able to say you’re immune, you never know what the public si going to do and you always have to be prepared for it. They made their decision for a specific reason, I guess, but it doesn’t matter to me because I never thought from my audition in Brooklyn that i would make it this far.”

The two shared their proudest moments on the show. Jess claims it was working with NappyTabs and Chris Scott on a couple of Hip-Hop routines. During Vegas week “it was not a pretty sight, me doing Hip-Hop routines for the first time. The choreographers gave me a tremendous challenge with great concepts. Also my Broadway routines, and getting to show America my genre.”

Does he think being a Broadway dancer crippled his chances in any way? “I don’t think so, because with any special genres that are featured, we get respect because we’re not on the show every seasons, and people are happy to see our genres pop up. I wanted to bring my old fashioned style and my love of Broadway to the show.”

Jordan’s favorite part of her experience was “all of them. I’m proud of all the routines I did, because I got mostly genres other then my own and I’m proud I made it this far. I can’t explain what it feels like to accomplish a waltz.”

They also shared what they learned from being a part of So You Think You Can Dance Season 8. Gratitude filled both of their voices, and Jordan spilled “That it’s possible for me to be a dancer. I lacked confidence. It’s a tough industry, and I had no faith when I auditioned right out of high school. I leaned I can accomplish a goal with hard work and dedication. I expanded my dance knowledge.” For Jess, he gained a different kind of confidence by learning “I don’t have to present myself a certain way to attract an audience. We’re here because America can enjoy us the way we are. I can be so many things I never thought I could.”

Where are the two headed now? Both expressed an interest in getting into acting for television or in the movies. Jordan is also “excited for the opportunities the show has opened (as far as singing goes).” Jess, no surprise here, will get “back into the audition process in NYC” but would also like to “get into more behind the scenes stuff, maybe choreographing.”

In the words of an 18-year-old Broadway dancer from Brooklyn, “You never know where life will take you, so you do your best to be prepared.”

So You Think You Can Dance airs Wednesday and Thursday nights at 8/7c on Fox.

Photos Courtesy of Adam Rose and FOX

So You Think You Can Dance Review: And Then There Were Six

We’re down to the final 8, and this format of losing 2 contestants a week is making it seem like they’re leaving faster than normal. In fact we have only two more performance shows remaining this season. I did like getting a few weeks with the contestants partnered followed by a few weeks with our all-stars, so all in all this year’s format has been, for me, the best since I’ve been watching the show.

Sasha grabbed a Quickstep with Pasha in tow, which normally would make me nervous but I’ve already decided Sasha can do anything attempts. The dance, set to “Puttin’ on the Ritz” by Terry Snyder and choreographed by Jonathan Roberts, came off flawlessly. Their lifts were great, Sasha’s carriage looked beautiful as her feet skimmed the stage and Pasha, well, he always looks lovely. The judges agreed and this week’s guest Rob Marshall confessed to Sasha that she’s his favorite dancer on the show. Nigel said so too, though he would, as usual prove to be fickle later in the night.

Catelynn pulled a Marty Kudelka Lyrical Hip-Hop routine with all-star Ivan Koumaev. They played the roles of a girl fed up with her boyfriend and the guy who wants to steal her away (set to “Let Me Love You” by Mario). I adore Catelynn doing Hip-Hop. She’s got great swagger and stage presence, something the judges don’t compliment her on often enough. I hate when pretty girls like her constantly get praised for their looks instead of their talent. The judges felt so-so about the routine last night.

Jess also grabbed a Hip-Hop routine, one he danced with all-star Lauren Gottlieb to “Take a Bow” by Rhianna. Napoleon and Tabitha D’omo did the choreographing honors, and gave the pair a concept revolving around a guy who’d bee caught cheating. I found the routine clean and simple, and the dancers emotionally invested. The judges praised Jess for his growth tonight and throughout the competition, but guest judge Lady Gaga dissed NappyTabs for the cheesy use of props and dated dance steps (in her opinion).

Melanie drew Contemporary and all-star Neil Haskell. Is it just me or does it seem like we haven’t really seen Melanie do anything but Contemporary this season? At any rate, this time she was blessed with choreographer Mandy Moore and a stunning routine set to “Total Eclipse of the Heart” by Bonnie Tyler. She and Neil connected enough to be believable as lovers who refused to let go, and there was a moment where she ran full speed and leapt into his arms from at least six feet away, and it took my breath away. The number brought the judges, the audience, and probably some people at home to their feet. Gaga admitted Melanie was her favorite, and that she would hire her to dance with her company in a second. At this point Nigel changed his mind about Sasha being his favorite and claimed Melanie had stolen the top spot (in his eyes) once again.

Ricky, the poor guy, got saddled with a Jive, but at least we get to watch the tiny bundle of power that is Anya grace the stage again. The dance, set to, “River Deep, Mountain High” by Celine Dion” was one of the fastest things I’ve ever seen and Ricky honestly had a good time with the dance, and it felt contemporary and joyful and his smile does indeed light up a room. Gaga proclaimed her fangirl status but Nigel worried that getting the ballroom number and not knocking it out of the park might be his downfall.

Jordan and Ade grabbed a Tyce Diorio Jazz number that the judges, especially Rob Marshall, claimed to be one of his best pieces ever. The dance tried to keep up with “Nutbush City Limits” by Tina Turner, and the choreography didn’t do much of anything except show off Jordan’s unbelievable legs and flexibility. The judges raved about her, about how amazing a dancer she is for such a little girl, and I couldn’t help but wonder if they were saying goodbye.

One of my favorites this season has been Marko, who benefitted from being Melanie’s partner, yes, but not enough credit has been given to him for his own technique and personality. This week he stepped out in a Sonya Tayeh Contemprory routine with the amazing Allison Holker (one of my favorite dancers on this show. Ever.) Sonya choreographed the steps to “I Know It’s Over” by Jeff Buckley, and I loved every second of this dance. For me, parts of it were most honest and tough than the Contemporary number from Melanie and Neil. Credit given or now, I have little doubt Marko will be with us through at least another week.

Last but not least is my concrete abdominal guy Tadd. The crowd whipped into a frenzy when Cat Deeley announced his partner for the week would be last season’s favorite Lauren Froderman. The two were given a snazzy Jazz number in which they played two thieves, a concept choreographed for them by Mandy Moore (to “Another One Bites the Dust” by Queen). They did a nice job with the steps, technique, and character but nothing about the number grabbed me and when writing this recap I had to check to remind myself what they even danced. So, there you go.

A wonderful decision on the part of the judges came when the final eight contestants were paired up to dance a number together. They also all performed out of their styles, which gave us a bit more chance to see exactly what they could do. I mean, except Melanie, who still drew a Jazz number. This time she and Sasha danced together, in a routine from Sonya Tayeh that had Gaga throwing her shoes on stage and into the crowd and everything in a wild uproar so unstoppable the judges could hardly shout their comments over the din. I enjoyed the routine, danced by two amazing females, to “Game On” by District 78.

Jordan and Jess paired up for a sexy Rumba from Jason Gilkison (to “Set Fire to Rain” by Adele), which earned them mixed reviews and nearly put me to sleep. Gaga didn’t get the dance at all, and Mary liked parts of it but not others. It felt pretty meh to me all the way around.

Marko and Ricky blew the roof off with their NappyTabs Hip-Hop routine in which they played bad boy janitors and won the hearts of the ladies to “Bad Boy For Life” by Diddy (feat. Black Rob and Mark Curry). Gaga bashed NappyTabs for the second time in as many dances, basically calling their choreography juvenile and dated. Rob Marshall gave them props, which I think they deserve, always. The rest of the judges seemed to enjoy the routine and Marko really proved he can do things besides dance Contemporary beside Melanie.

Catelynn and Tadd danced a beautiful, flowing Foxtrot from Jonathan Roberts (to “Top Hat, White Tie, and Tails” by Ella Fitzgerald). They were gorgeous, as though they’d stepped out of a 1940’s film, and I don’t think the judges gave them enough credit for how easy they made the whole thing look.

Results night arrived and I thought the girls’ results were pretty obvious, especially based on the-who-is-better-Sasha-or-Melanie thoughts the night before. Those two were safe, and Jordan and Catelynn had to dance for their lives. The boys were a bit of a surprise, not because Marko was safe, but that Ricky joined him. That meant we were going to lose either Jess or Tadd, and to my surprise I really didn’t want to lose either one of them.

While the judges deliberated we watched another performance by The League of Extraordinary Dancers, some more promos for National Dance Day, and a Lady Gaga spectacle. When push came to shove, and with the caveat that everyone on the show at this point is an amazing dancer who has a brilliant career in front of them, they cut Jordan and Jess loose. I’m sure some people were surprised about the choice to keep Catelynn over Jordan (I know I was) but I think Jordan hasn’t shown as much inclination to grow over the past several weeks. Poor Jess ended up a casualty of America somehow managing to put Ricky through instead of him or Tadd.

What do you think? Does it really matter at this point? I mean, every person on the show will keep me entertained and glued to my television for the next couple of weeks.

For more on this week’s episodes, check out Not Enough Turns For Me…I Mean Pirouettes by Inisia Lewis.

Season 8, Episodes 18 and 19 (original airdates July 27 and July 28, 2011)

So You Think You Can Dance airs Wednesdays and Thursdays at 8/7c on Fox.

Photos Courtesy of Adam Rose and Fox

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