The Real Housewives of New Jersey Review: Bring on The Knuckleheads
This week we pick up right where we left off with Ashley’s family drama. As you recall, last week, Ashley basically called Jacqueline irresponsible and a loser for having Ashley at a young age. RHONJ viewers across the land collectively gasped at Ashley’s idiocy. It’s the last straw for Jacqueline as she storms out of brunch and claims to be done with her daughter. I don’t blame her. Ashley is a lost cause (one has to wonder if having tv cameras film your life has anything to do with it, hmmm…but I digress). I get that 20-somethings normally can’t see much farther than themselves, but Ashley takes the cake. As you can tell, no love lost here for someone who thinks she is entitled to everything, especially when you’ve got it as good as she does. But that’s Ashley Holmes for you.
After Jacqueline storms off, Matt tries to talk some sense into his daughter but she’s having none of it. He then practically carries Ashley over to Jacqueline so she can apologize. Jacqueline wants nothing to do with the apology because it’s as fake as Teresa’s tan. Thanks, but no thanks.
Cut to Ashley being interviewed and telling us that Jacqueline is the one always playing the victim card and that her mom has the mind of a teenager. It’s time to fling my remote at Ashley’s forehead. It’s unreal how out of touch and ungrateful this kid is. Yeah, yeah I get that there might be some emotional trauma coming from a divorced household and feeling like a disappointment much of the time but here’s my advice on the former: You’re 20 now, get over it. On the latter, you won’t feel like a disappointment if you aren’t one.
Writing about Ashley makes me irritable so let me switch gears. This week was Cousin Kathy’s Middle Eastern tasting party where all the ladies are supposed to channel their inner goddess. Rich Wakile had the jab of the week when he complimented his wife’s cooking while simultaneously insinuating that Teresa steals recipes for her cookbooks. Low blow but these days, Teresa could use a dose of her own medicine. What she could also use is a few months worth of basic tutoring – case in point; Teresa complains about the cold “Norwegian” coming through Franklin Lakes. Lord, it’s a Nor’easter, you nut. At any rate, all the ladies come over for food and merriment and everything goes fine until Teresa decides to be a rude – she criticizes Kathy’s food, the party and she gets into it with Melissa. It must be tiring always looking for a fight, Tre. Put the claws away.
This week Teresa and Joe make a visit to their attorney who tells them Joe is still on the hook for $260,000 to his ex-business partner but that Teresa was cleared of any wrong. According to Teresa, the lesson to be learned from all this is to deny and lie because telling the truth doesn’t equal victory. We went from a teachable moment to a dreadful one. Tre, I can only hope your daughters reject all of mommy’s little life lessons, because they are ridiculous! The eyebrow-raising moment of the week was when Teresa said her Jewish friends told her they would’ve left Joe had he put them through all this. I’m not sure why her Jewish friends were singled out but I attribute it to the hamster in Teresa’s brain taking a snack break.
We conclude this week’s episode with one last look at Ashley – she tells Jacqueline and Chris she’s moving to California. Inevitably, it doesn’t take long for Ashley and Jacqueline to get into it. It all ends with Chris finally kicking Ashley out of the house. I would’ve clapped but that there’s something so sad about the whole situation. Here’s to hoping their family can pick up the pieces over time.
Season 3, Episode 14: Belly Up & Up (originally aired August 21, 2011)
Images courtesy of Bravo TV.