Project Runway Review: Pet Store Chic

In what world would a woman want to buy an outfit made out of food, material, and fabric found at a pet store?  I don’t get it.  ANTM has had the models suspended from a ceiling, swimming through water, posing with wild animals and – ya know – I buy it ‘cause Tyra has always had the models doing shoots that she’s had to do herself when she modeled or that the active marketing teams would want to do for their product, i.e. posing on a alligator or crocodile for a lotion ad.  However, since Project Runway is designing clothes for women and since my 18^th birthday, I’ve been classified as a woman, this – and last week’s challenge – has confused me.  Why do I want to wear clothes designed out of bird seeds, again?  Certainly not ‘cause some up and coming designer says that I should.  Sometimes I really think the clothes showcased in these fashion shows are not meant to be worn by real, every day women.  These are for costume designers.

Runway vets, help me.  Were the design challenges this outrageous when the show first started or have they run out of designer challenge ideas? If so, it happens.  Tyra is running out of ideas.  Actually, Tyra is running out of a pool of talented, want-to-be-on-reality-TV, up-and-coming models.  But I digress.

Red and brown weaved dog food bags.  Clipped, purple leaves.  Dyed potty training pads.  Lining from a dog bed.   A belt made from a cat-scratch post.  Pet bedding.  Dog-cone-collared skirt.  Birdseed and rabbit food garment.  Aquarium flowers.  Dog leash halter tops require creative sitting poses, a bird-less outdoor setting (lest it eats your clothes), and a whole lot of Woolite ‘cause these garments aren’t going to make it out of the washing machine the same way they went in.

Challenge winner Bert rested on his immunity from last week and used conventional materials, which contradicted the point of the challenge.  In the design room, Tim Gunn stood speechless when he looked at Burt’s “less-is-more” creation of a simple black strapless dress with pink-trimmed bird cage netting flowing from the bust.

Humans have to establish themselves as “alpha” around animals for one, maybe two, basic reasons.  One: God gave us dominion over them. Two: we’re bigger than the animals that use supplies found in the pet store.  The latter of which is the reason why Laura’s dog-cone-collared skirt mooned everyone in the design room during her fitting and ultimately didn’t make its way down the runway.  The skirt didn’t appropriately fit the model – or any human.

With a big, silk turquoise bow strapped around her head fashion designer Stacey Bendet joined Nina Garcia, Michael Kors, and Heidi Klum on the judging panel.   But before any of them rendered their comments, from my spot on my judging couch, Bryce’s blue dress made from hamster bedding and potty training pads was ugly.  It looked like a bad prom dress from the ‘80s. Olivier’s outfit made of a dog bed and hamster bedding can join Bryce’s.  The skirt looked like an old piece of chocolate candy.  Too, I didn’t like how he accessorized his model by putting the hamster bedding on her eye brows.  I also didn’t like the way he cut the dog bed and made it into a top.  You could see her bra though her top, and it just made her look old.  I personally thought the colors clashed, but I was outvoted by my fellow judges.

My favorite this week was actually Anya’s halter top that she created out of leashes and rope dog toys that she paired with a short black mini, but I’m biased towards just about anything colorful.  Although you could see the ends of the rope and you could tell that it was indeed once a rope, it’s edgy and unorthodox enough to work.  I’ve been searching on eBay for a mini-skirt made of men’s old neckties, so clearly I’m biased this week towards Anya’s creation, but since she got no diplomatic immunity from me last week, she needed to make something to redeem herself in my eyes.  Julie’s dress made of weaved dog food bags actually looked like weaved dog food bags.  While Tyra always says a model should be able to model a “brown paper bag,” as a woman I don’t want to look like I’m literally wearing “a brown paper bag.”  Viktor’s purple strapless, fitted mini dress made of purple, dyed “wee-wee” pads, although it didn’t fare well with the judges, looked cute if worn to the right event.  He also accessorized it nicely with a purple stone necklace from the Piperlime accessories wall.  She could be like the marketing promo model for a remake of Barney. Seriously.  Laura nixed the dog-cone-collared skirt in the end and made an acceptable skirt and blouse out of cat-scratch cardboard and leashes and “was the only designer not to use a single piece of fabric.”

Post your thoughts on the “Pet Store Chic” of this week’s Project Runway in the comments section below!

Season 9, Episode 2: “My Pet Project” (originally aired August 4, 2011)

Make it work and watch Project Runway, Thursdays at 9/8c on Lifetime.

Images courtesy of Lifetime.