Jersey Shore Review: I Just Want My Hour Back

Well that was a disappointing finale. The only thing I can really remember from it is a random commercial about a new show called I Just Want My Pants Back which, to be fair, sounds like it could be something related to Jersey Shore.

This season the drama was mostly focused on Snooki and her boytoy, Jionni, along with Mike and his special talent of stirring up drama. All in all, the repetitive topics got rather dull very quickly. If I had to see Snooki cry over Jionni one more time I would’ve thrown my television out the window.

Because this episode centered around the group’s last few days in Florence, the cast (or rather, the producers) decided it was about time they actually toured the city they’d been calling home for the past couple of weeks. Better late than never, I suppose. Unsurprisingly, the cast is not even remotely interested in what the tour guide is explaining to them. Do they not realize how many people would kill to be in their position, touring one of the most artistic cities in the world?! Sign me up for that tour any day.

Also as part of their ‘good-bye Italy’ tour, the group returns to the pizzeria shop they were employed at. In previous episodes, the boss, Marco, did not seem like such a friendly, cordial guy and he looked like he hated these kids with a passion. So I was definitely surprised to actually see Marco smiling at Pauly D’s antics and being sad about the cast leaving. He even went so far as to make them a part of an Italian tradition: each cast member had to bring an article of clothing to hang on the laundry line in the pizzeria. Deena and Snooki were of course the classiest of them all and brought a thong and bra, respectively. Ten bucks those clothes have now been burned.

Another highlight of the episode was Mike saying he wasn’t sure whether he was going back to Seaside Heights for the next season. My theory is that he was just waiting for his agent to call him back and say his contract was renewed with a higher salary – it’s not cheap being the “villain,” but someone’s gotta do it. Regardless, none of the cast really seemed to care whether Mike returned to the show or not. By episode’s end, Mike reveals that he will be back for another season and apologizes to the cast for his drama (riiiight).

Team Meatball also decides to pull a prank and put all the plants in the house on the kitchen table. Snooki deems it the “funniest prank in Jersey Shore history.” Only it’s really not even funny and I don’t see how it constitutes as a prank. The next morning they have to remove the plants from the table anyway to have a family breakfast. Fail.

All in all, what I enjoyed most this season was the Vinny and Pauly bromance. They’re funny and don’t take themselves seriously which makes for entertaining television. I do feel like Jenni was shafted this season; she spent most of the time playing mom and her maturity level far outstrips everyone else on that show. Could she possibly be moving on from the show soon?

 

Jersey Shore season five will be back in the new year at Seaside Heights. Italy really served no purpose for the show – I don’t feel like it added anything other than act as beautiful backdrop, which I predicted since the very first episode of this season.

So for now I say, arrivederci, Italia!

For another take on this episode check out “Ciao Italia” by Tanya Lane.

Season 4, Episode 12 “Ciao Italia” (original airdate October 20, 2011)

Jersey Shore airs Thursday nights at 8/7c on MTV

Images courtesy of MTV

Supernatural Review: It’s A Buffy Reunion

What a treat for Buffy fans everywhere this week as Charisma Carpenter and James Marsters play married witches with a little communication problem in their relationship on Supernatural. After two odd deaths happen at Prosperity, Indiana, the Winchesters come calling to investigate with a Leviathan still hot on their heels.

First was a man who was boiled to death inside his tub and the second was a real estate agent who died from a trip to the salon. Soon a third man is killed via nail gun at a construction site. Sam discovers the connection between all three victims as having business dealings with Don Stark, the town’s big shot developer.

After some quick snooping, Sam finds hex materials in in the near empty cabinets of Mrs. Maggie Stark, Don’s wife. They are currently separated because Maggie discovered that Don had cheated on her. Dean manages to get inside Maggie’s house and they learn that her next victim is Don’s secretary.

Sam and Dean are able to get to the young woman in time but it turns out that she wasn’t having an affair with Don after all.

Don in the meantime is confronts his wife as she is preparing for an art charity show and tells her that enough is enough. That night before the event starts, he sits outside in his car then proceeds to slice off the head of Maggie’s best friend and ruin the paintings.

Maggie returns to her husband’s house where he is waiting for her. They start an argument when the Winchesters burst in with their own vanquishing spell but it doesn’t work and the two witches begin inflicting various forms of punishment. Without any other option, Sam and Dean end up playing therapist to the two and it’s a great scene that is a welcome reprieve from the seriousness of season seven so far.

Don complains that he committed his mistake because he was getting edged out of Maggie’s life and Maggie felt completely betrayed by him and those who helped him cover it up. But in the end they were two very old witches who have been together for a very long time. Despite killing people around them, they couldn’t kill each other.

Don saves their lives at the motel when the nacho cheese enthusiast Leviathan finally catches up with them. He was there to retrieve the coins that Maggie had put under their beds (as the coin was the conduit so that the witch could hex her victims). Don uses a spell that shocks and stuns the Leviathan for a few days. He is unaware of what Leviathans are; it makes me wonder if witchcraft may be some way to fight them off. At the very least they are susceptible to it perhaps because they are using human bodies.

I thoroughly enjoyed this episode because of Marsters and Carpenter as it had the air of a Buffy-Supernatural crossover. While the Leviathan hunting down the Winchesters is getting a little boring, I hope they start showing what the master plan is soon. What’s also getting a little tiresome is Dean’s refusal to come clean with Sam about killing Amy. How long are they going to drag that out before Dean is unable to bare it any longer and confesses? All the build up to that inevitable moment had better bring in some crazy stuff, otherwise that would be a let down. Aside from discovering what the Leviathans are planning, the focus has been on Dean and Sam’s relationship involving their trust and communication issues. Here’s hoping the writers come up with something unexpected to keep us on our toes!

Season 7, Episode 5: Shut Up, Dr. Phil (originally aired October 21, 2011)

Fridays at 9/8c on The CW.

Images courtesy of Jack Rowand and The CW.

Project Runway Review: The Finale Part One

For the Project Runway finale, all four designers will design a collection, but only three will attend Mercedes Fashion Week.  With $9,000 and five weeks, the designers were sent home to create a 10-piece collection.  First, Tim Gunn traveled to White Plains, Maryland to check on Kimberly’s progress. Kim’s inspiration was to embrace pre-gentrified Brooklyn with modern Brooklyn.  After showing him a few pieces with a cobalt blue color palette that represented the heart of her collection, Tim encouraged her to “wow them.”  While there, Kim introduced Tim to her family and they all broke bread together as her family told Tim stories of Kim’s style growing up.  On top of simply wanting to win Project Runway, Kim is also trying to break ground as being the first African-American to win and to have more African-American designers in the fashion industry.  Next, Tim travlled to Maraval, Trinidad to visit Anya.  Anya said, “The sea is a real part of the rhythm of my life.”  Tim met her brothers, one of whom said before Project Runway people simply said how beautiful and elegant their sister was.  Circa Project Runway, now people say how “talented she is.”  Once in her personal design room, amid photos of her nautical inspirations, Anya was only able to show Tim the fabrics for her garments, but she had not designed anything as of yet.  She admitted that she was in a design rut and that she was having a problem with shapes.  While he sympathized with her, Tim reminded her of the rules, which included not being able to have anyone help her with the basic construction of her garments.

Back in New York City, Tim hiked up five flights of stairs to Viktor’s studio to see the beginnings of Viktor’s “Urban Coast Collection,” which was inspired by Guadalajara where Viktor had traveled for the memorial of his brother.  Unlike Anya, Viktor had garments galore, which included a gown, a dress, and a white jacket, the latter of which Tim loved.  While Tim thought the jacket was “fabulous,” the design and print of the other pieces made Tim fall in love.  After which, Tim went to Viktor’s apartment where he met his boyfriend, David.  Lastly, Tim took a hop, skip, and a jump over to Queens, NY to have lunch with Joshua and his sister, McKenzie, where Joshua admitted that he didn’t have a large quantity to show Tim although he will be able to see the direction loudly and clearly…and colorfully.  Joshua showed Tim two fabrics, one of which looked like an optical illusion, and Tim addressed the elephant in the room and said the collection was starting to look cheap.  Tim said one print that was the center focus of Joshua’s collection was “the homeliest print” he’d ever seen.  At the end of the consultation, Joshua had tossed at least 5 unusable garments to the side.

Back in New York for Fashion Week, the designers arrived at the Penthouse Suite of the Hudson Hotel to cheers and tears for their new abode and their reunion.  Tim toasted the designers and welcomed them to Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week.  The next day they arrived at their new workroom and began to unveil the fruits of their past five-week labor.  Once Tim arrived, he announced that the judges wanted to see a three-look mini collection.  Viktor chose first to show the jacket over which Tim raved during their prior consultation and a printed pant.  Joshua chose a black, gray, and white jacket, a draped dress, and a pant.  Tim advised Joshua to make sure that what he showed had “cohesion.”  Kimberly had a good problem, which was too much good stuff from which to choose; however, Tim advised her that she center herself and choose the three that would best define the “Brooklyn Urbanite.”  Lastly, Anya showed Tim two inverted-pleat garments to which Tim said she was digressing.  Thus far, Viktor seemed to be the frontrunner as he’s the only one who was confident and got the best (on-camera) critiques from Tim.

The next day each of the designers minus Viktor were still putting the finishing touches on their garments when their models arrived for their one-and-only fitting.  Joshua asked Anya for advice on a shoe color.  Anya stitched her garment while her model was still in the garment.  Kimberly sewed and ironed her garment while her model was still in it.  Viktor, on the other hand, had his face done by the L’Oreal make-up artist after they finished with the models.

Michael Kors and Nina Garcia along with Heidi Klum judged the mini collection.  Although Anya wanted to represent herself as a “Caribbean designer” and although she said her collection was inspired by the sea, Anya chose a bronze color palette on which to showcase her mini collection.  Nina loved the “hybrid” between her last black dress from the last challenge and her Caribbean roots.  Heidi did not like the bathing suit because it looked like the model was falling out of it.  Heidi did not like the gown either.  Michael said it looked “tortured.”  Heidi said the gown looked as if she’d just sewn it last night.  They all, to some degree, said that her collection did not have enough of a Caribbean feel.  Heidi said out of the three looks, she only liked one.  As for Kimberly, Michael said he loved that he knows that they are Kimberly’s clothes.  He also touted the cobalt blue color palette and the sexiness minus the nakedness.  Heidi did not like the “bubble-butt” skirt.  Michael and Nina agreed that she needed to work on accessorizing.  The garments spoke for themselves and did not need the bracelets and such.  Michael loved Viktor’s zippered dress and the see-through top with the mini mirrors (although how to clean a top with mini mirrors is anyone’s guess.  Clearly, not using a Maytag or Whirlpool).  Michael asked Viktor to remove the signature jacket, and once he did, they loved the dress without the jacket although Heidi asked to wear the jacket.  Once on, she loved it more although she’d prefer the pearls to be smaller.  Nevertheless, it would be great with a tank and black pant.  Joshua explained the “DNA of [his] collection.”  Heidi called his collection “modern and forward” although the buckle on the belt looked like a seatbelt for a car seat (considering my addiction to Harvey’s Seatbelt Bags you won’t ever get any complaints on this end regarding accessorizing with seatbelts).  Michael hated the two-look garment that was a dress in the front and a fitted pant in the back.  Nevertheless, he encouraged Joshua to have a “consistency and focus.”

During judging, Michael, Nina, and Heidi all agreed that the girls choked today.  Two out of three of Anya and Kimberly’s garments were not good.  Viktor’s was impeccably tailored although the judges styled them better during Viktor’s runway critique and his needed to edit more.  Ironically, Joshua styled his models the best although in the past, he was the one with the editing problem.  During Tim’s five-week consultation, Kimberly had gotten off to an acceptable start and Joshua had to throw out five unusable garments.  However, in a first-shall-be-last-and-last-shall-be-first moment, Mercedes-Benz Project Runway Designers: Joshua, Viktor, and Kimberly…and Anya.   That’s right.  All four designers will be showing at Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week.

Season 9, Episode 13: “Finale: Part 1″ (originally aired October 20, 2011)

Make it work and watch Project Runway, Thursdays at 9/8c on Lifetime.

For more Project Runway coverage, click here.

Images courtesy of Lifetime

Red State Movie Review: The Rebirth

Holy. Crap. I didn’t have a clue as to what I was walking into with this movie, except for the few basic facts that it was a horror/thriller film written by the well-known cult film director Kevin Smith. Now, I can admit that I’m already one of Mr. Smith’s biggest movie-watching fans which is why I was more than happy to review this film in particular. I also realize that, as a result, it was crucial for me to take on Red State with an unbiased and open mind to give a decent review rather than producing a page full of ass-kissing paragraphs and long-winded praise. I promise you, I did my damnedest.

In a nutshell, Red State briefly follows the story of three high school boys in a small rural town who after setting out to meet with an unknown woman for a little fun via the internet, find themselves helplessly entrapped in a horrific plot brought about by a local extreme Christian organization, setting the scene for the rest of the movie. The violence, the gore and the overall sickness that soon followed was a great treat for horror enthusiasts like myself because it was calculated perfectly- not too much, not too little, and just at the right times. The initial shocking scene within the Five Points compound is where I began to feel the same way I did the first time I saw the movie Hostel, which was basically anxiety. Here were innocent victims in a somewhat similar situation being held hostage to people who felt that they were basically entitled in this world. These particular fundamentalists had a habit of luring people, specifically from the gay community, to their sanctuary with intentions to torture and murder. And all while praising Jebus. This is again where, like Hostel, I started to get the creeps and realize how real the situation felt. Then I started to think “Could something like this actually ever happen?” or “HAS something like this ever happened?!”  Those thoughts alone branded Red State as even more of a horror show for me.

Besides being a good October horror flick full of gun nuts and Bible thumpers, a huge emphasis was put on the fine line between one’s morals, as well as our first amendment rights, the role of the government, basic human rights and just how out of control our society can get. It wasn’t just the radical stance on religion the Five Points Church believed that was in question. Even the decisions that the ATF had to make when storming the church compound were undeniably suspect. You got to see both sides of the coin for the “good guys” and the “bad guys” and half way through the movie you start to question your own personal ethics in a game of “What would you do in this situation?” Though one thing is for sure, I don’t think I’ve ever rooted so hard for the hero characters of a film before, nor have I ever wanted to personally take up arms against the villains. That actually brings me to a side note. I thought it was quite hilarious that a blatant reference to the infamous Westboro Baptist Church was made at one point… just sayin’.

What I love about movies like Red State, and so many horror movies in general, is that it can be such an accurate depiction of what our reality would be like mixed with our biggest fears. I honestly had no complaints over Red State and say what you will about that. You can call me a fangirl but let’s be real here. When you adore the films of your favorite writers and directors the chances are pretty high that their next big project may be a success in your eyes. Taking the leap into a completely new genre is risky as well as admirable. However, between ranting monologues and cleverly embedded jabs, Red State still clearly has Smith’s fingerprints all over it.

 

Images courtesy of Lionsgate Films.

The Vampire Diaries Review: Do I Smell A Shark Being Jumped?

I’m not sure if I was just in a weird mood or something, but for some reason or another this week’s episode of The Vampire Diaries felt “off” to me. I don’t know if it was the setting of it being the first day of senior year that made it feel oddly like another season premiere or if I’m just really starting to tire of the dead girlfriend ghosts storyline, but whatever the reason, this episode made it feel like a show that was struggling to stay on track. And that scares me.

All through its run thus far The Vampire Diaries has managed to successfully walk a very thin line between awesome and ridiculous. The writers and producers take a lot of risks with their storylines and are constantly throwing more into the mix to keep the twists coming and viewers on their toes. Up until now this has worked beautifully but this kind of thing never lasts and there always comes a time when (even on a show with supernatural elements) the viewer has to stop for a second and say, “Really?!?!”

I’m not saying that Diaries is there yet, BUT I feel like it might be dangerously close and for me the culprit is this ghost storyline. As we all know, at the end of last season Jeremy died and was brought back to life by his witch girlfriend, Bonnie. This was all well and good but then Jeremy started seeing spirits of his two dead girlfriends, Vicky and Anna. That is not normal.

As this season has gone on we’ve learned that they can only connect with him if he’s open to the idea, which obviously causes some issues with current girlfriend Bonnie. The plot thickened even further when Jeremy revealed all of this to Matt who is Vicky’s brother. Matt is kind of a downer and wants to reconnect with Vicky so he starts being able to communicate with her too. It’s not super reliable communication, mind you, and last week Matt had to temporarily kill himself to get a decent amount of info out of her so imagine his eagerness this week when she revealed that she knows a way to come back for good.

This involved a ritual with an ancient witch that Vicky has apparently chummed around with in the afterlife and Matt willingly takes part. It works and Vicky earns the ability to appear in front of Matt whenever she wants! They can even touch! But that is limited strictly to hugging. Anything more than that would be weird as they’re siblings and all.

Well, imagine our shock when we learn that the ancient witch would only allow Vicky to come back if she promised to make sure that Klaus can’t make more hybrids. And we all know what this means – she has to kill Elena.

I swear to god I will marry the next person who comes to Mystic Falls without a reason to kill Elena.

Meanwhile, Jeremy realizes that Matt is taking his chats with Vicky a little too far and lets Bonnie in on it only to reveal that he and Anna have been more or less attached at the hip recently too. Bonnie tells him to bugger off and heads off to intervene with Matt for now. And thank cripes for Bonnie because she gets her head in the game  just as Vicky is trying to burn Elena and Stefan alive in a car and stops her by convincing Matt that he needs to let go of Vicky for good. He does and Vicky moves on up to the pothead playground in the sky. Crisis averted.

But wait! There’s more! Later on Anna and Jeremy realize that they can touch each other now too. And they most certainly won’t limit themselves to just hugs if ya know what I mean…

I you don’t know what I mean, I mean he’ll probably try to touch her ghost vagina.

And maybe I’m just being insensitive but this storyline is doing nothing for me at all. In some ways I think it has something to do with forcing these minor characters into bigger storylines than they deserve. I don’t hate the idea of giving smaller roles something important to do but it can’t just be done for the sake of giving them something to do. It needs to feed the overall effectiveness of the series and the main characters’ storylines and I just don’t feel like that’s the case here.

Things weren’t entirely rollicking on the major characters front either this week after last week’s tease of Stefan being the new bad boy of the house with Damon getting a little soft and mushy. That all continued but frankly, it was just kinda weird. I think part of the problem is that Paul Wesley just isn’t meant to play a bad boy. I understand that that’s part of the conflict here but its just no fun and makes us yearn for the good old days of season two. Had we seen Damon making girls play Twister and offer him up body parts to nibble on it would have been cute, but with Stefan it just feels like wannabe evil.

It was even worse when he started following Elena around school like a bully to protect her for Klaus. I assumed they would definitely stretch the Bad Stefan story out for a very long time but now I find myself wanting the good Stefan back, because let’s face it – we all like Damon more as the “bad” one.

In other major developments this week:

• Rebecca moved into the Salvatore house for what we assume is to keep an eye on Stefan keeping an eye on Elena.
• Tyler continued to love being a half-breed even as we learn he’s been “sired”, which means he feels undying loyalty to Klaus. This causes fights with Caroline and further nurturing from Rebecca.
• Katherine revived the long undead vampire hunter, Michael (is his name really just boring old Michael? Was Pete already taken?), and he promptly started to eat her.
• Alaric is trying to toughen Elena up to fight vampires. Can’t imagine why…
• Damon pledges to defend Elena. He then gets surprised attacked by Tyler’s werewolf uncle, Mason. How long do we think it’ll be until he’s a half-breed too?

All in all, this episode didn’t do a lot for me. I think the show still has a lot of potential juice left in it but I’d like to see it move past the ghost stories and stick with making the drama around the main trio of characters as good and believable as it can be. We’ll see where things go next week but in the meantime let me know what you thought of this chapter of the Diaries.

The Vampire Diaries Season 3, Episode 6 “Smells Like Teen Spirit” (originally aired October 20, 2011)

Images courtesy of The CW.

NY Comic Con 2011: Inside Nikita with Maggie Q, Shane West, and Albert Kim

Saturday was a busy day at New York Comic Con, and the IGN Theater was perhaps the most bustling room with screenings and panels for some of the most anticipated TV shows and films of the year. One such panel was for the CW’s action drama Nikita, which has just returned for its second season, and actress Maggie Q, actor Shane West, and producer Albert Kim were there to give the scoop on upcoming episodes as well as share some behind the scenes tidbits!

The dynamic in season two has been a big change from season one. First of all, Michael and Nikita are together, and while the cast hinted that the characters were going to face some “adult issues,” they will likely remain a couple for a while. The real element that has shifted is that Michael and Nikita are on the run, which means a very different atmosphere for Shane West (Michael) who spent most of his time in Division last year. We’ll see fewer suits on Michael this season, which – if you ask me – is a damn shame since Shane looks so lovely in them!

Another new element of the season that the cast discussed was the imprisonment of Percy (Xander Berkeley), their leading villain.  “It’s been great putting Xander in that box,” joked producer Albert Kim, saying that directors had specifically requested scenes be written on that particular set so they could shoot there. And while the box may be around for a while, fans shouldn’t expect the end of Percy anytime soon. “Percy has a plan . . . It’s no fun to have him locked up forever,” Kim said.

For her part, Maggie Q seemed excited about flashbacks in upcoming episodes. “There’s a great scene in [episode] six where we get to see early, angry, Division Nikita,” she said.  She also said Nikita’s father will play some role in upcoming episodes this season, which should make for some interesting twists!

The group also answered questions about some behind the scenes information, and one topic on everyone’s mind was Nikita’s fantastic action scenes and stunts. Maggie Q, a notable action star herself, does all of her fights (often in heels!) and the majority of her stunts, but she admitted that there are a few she hasn’t been allowed to do. There’s a big stunt in episode eight of this season that she alluded to. “I wanted to so bad, but the director said even when the double was up there […] he was having a heart attack.” And with stunts like these week after week, it’s no wonder.

“We did one stunt last year, I remember – jumping off a boat – where the first stunt double wouldn’t do it,” said Albert. Maggie laughingly added, “We had to bring in like a specialist boat jumper.”

After the panel, I was lucky enough to chat with Maggie, Shane, and Albert and get even more inside information on the ups and downs of working on such a fast paced television show.

“It’s harder this year,” said Shane West on jumping back into the character of Michael for a second season. “The way this show works, things happen so quickly that as soon as I’m trying to be comfortable with Michael being with Nikita and us just dealing with whose a little bit more powerful in situations – or just having a regular relationship of bending and giving and all that stuff – they’ll immediately throw another guy in to throw in a wrench or another girl to throw in a wrench.”

As for the move of Michael’s character from Division to a new role of being on the run this season, Shane said, “I was very comfortable in Division last year – Shane, me being Shane was very comfortable in Division, and I do miss it because it was a lot of fun.” He continued to say, “We feel that we have such a great show and great scripts that keep coming through that even though we all seem to be a little bit more nervous because it is on the run – we don’t have that Division to hold on to – […] we’ll hope that as time goes by we’ll get a little bit more comfortable. The scripts keep ending up being great; it’s just always location, location, location. It takes a lot out of you over time.”

Shane also said to look out for a character named Cassandra, whose backstory even he doesn’t know and is interested to find out how it connects to Michael.

While discussing one of this season’s other new developments, the separation of Alex and Nikita, Albert said that fans shouldn’t expect to see their stories disconnected for too long. “We knew all along that at some point we needed them to come back together,” he said. “It won’t be anything direct or immediate, but you’ll start to get the sense they’re on a collision course. As that’s going along, Nikita and Michael – who started the season together – will start to drift apart.”

But don’t worry Nikita and Michael fans! Nikita and Michael will continue to love each other and want to be together, but those “adult problems” the cast hinted to earlier may come between them for a bit. But according to Albert, by mid season, all the characters will start to converge “both emotionally and story-wise.”

“I was so excited for everyone’s journey for season two and how sort of complete I felt everyone was going to be in their journeys,” Maggie said on learning the direction of this season. She also said she was really excited to get back to set for the start of a new season. “I love this crew. I just love the people who make this show. We’re all so close now that it’s like family – if you like your family.”

Maggie also talked about being the first Asian actress to headline a weekly drama series and what that means to her. “I’m so lucky to be in this position,” she said. Maggie didn’t realize there had never been an Asian female lead on a television show until she went into negotiations for Nikita. “There are women before me who have deserved this opportunity that didn’t get it, and I feel lucky.” She also hopes that this will open doors for Asian women after her. She added that the character of Nikita was not written as ethnic-specific, meaning Nikita did not have to be Asian, and yet she was still chosen for the part.

Over all, I was super impressed with the actors and producer, who all seemed genuinely excited about the new season of their show, an excitement which carried over, I think, into the audience at the panel  – and into me in particular. I can’t wait to see where season two of this fast paced drama will take us!

Be sure to catch Nikita on CW, Fridays at 8/7c.

Images courtesy of Bilal Mian, Kody Keplinger and Poptimal.

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Producer Albert Kim, actors Shane West, Maggie Q, "Nikita," and Moderator Eric Goldman Producer Albert Kim, actors Shane West, Maggie Q, "Nikita," and Moderator Eric Goldman	Shane West Shane West	Shane West and Maggie Q Shane West and Maggie Q
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Shane West, Albert Kim and Maggie Q Shane West, Albert Kim and Maggie Q	Shane West, Maggie Q and Albert Kim Shane West, Maggie Q and Albert Kim	Shane West and Maggie Q Shane West and Maggie Q

America’s Next Top Model Review: Another Model Drops The Ball

The models got down and dirty on the sands of Long Beach for the Top Model All Stars charity challenge last night. Flag football was the main event which seemed like the perfect way to for the ladies to work out their growing issues with one another. Bianca took full advantage of the situation by throwing a few elbows Lisa’s way and to probably just about anyone else who crossed her path. Bre’s inner brute showed up as well, taking full control of the game and proving how fiercely similar she can be to her sister, Bianca. Nigel, along with celebrity judges Brittny Gastineau and Julie Henderson, played referees to the event but they weren’t the only guests. Four professional NFL players from various teams lent their skills for the cause, as well as the past eliminated models from this season. At random times, a flag was thrown onto the field indicating it was time for one lucky girl’s impromptu photo shoot where they had to take that sandy, sweaty beach look and make it look high fashion. Most of the girls couldn’t turn off the adrenaline rush from the game and put on their modeling faces, plus it didn’t help that half of them were too busy swooning over their buff NFL teammates. The blue team emerged victorious that day which meant a prize of $5,000 was awarded and split between the charities of their two participating NFL partners’ choices. The best photo taken that day was by Kayla whose grand prize was not only a set of jewelry designed by Brittny Gastineau but also a private styling and photo session with Andre Leon Talley which would then be featured on Tyra’s own typeF website.

So, things got a little rough on the playing field but I’m sorry to say that there were no major cat fights on last night’s episode of ANTM despite the fact that the editing department had been alluding to house tension for weeks now. In fact, some old enemies even worked together on the final challenge photo shoot and managed to squeeze out a few high fives as if neither had a care in the world (I’m looking at you, Shannon and Bianca). The ladies were paired up and set to act out a staged lady tussle for the camera, and being as there is so much aggression between the models, it was quite fitting that the theme of the photo shoot was aptly described by Tyra as “clawing your way to the top.” Accomplished model Coco Rocha played the manly mediator between the pairs on each shoot and tried to give posing pointers throughout the process while fashion photographer Douglas Friedman snapped away. Everything was going smoothly until Angelea had a mini-breakdown and had to leave set but eventually pulled it together and delivered some good photos. Other than that, the imaginary brawls went off without a hitch.

At panel, the big photo shoot pictures were judged with the help of Ms. Rocha. Photo partners Dominique and Lisa were hands down voted the best photos (and duo) of the day with Dominique being decidedly number one. Coco loved these two during the shoot, as did Jay, and I love that Dominique is getting a little more attention. I find her to be one of the classiest and most gorgeous girls in the competition and I’d like to see her make it to the finals, at the very least. Unfortunately, a few of the models did not deliver nearly as well as their peers. At the end, Tyra was left holding one photo which either belonged to Alexandria or Bre. I think everyone was a little shocked when it turned out that there was no photo waiting for Bre, but at the same time it wasn’t that rattling. The girl is pretty, no doubt, and can take a good photo- here and there. She can definitely do big things is she wants to but as for ANTM, she seemed to remain in the shadows of her little sister.

 

Season 17, Episode 6: Coco Rocha (originally aired October 19, 2011)

Images courtesy of Douglas Friedman/Pottle Productions Inc./The CW

Movies in 3D – The D is for “Don’t”

Remember the days when 3D was cool, new, and exciting? That was back when the lady at the ticket counter handed you those totally unfashionable glasses and your heart sped up just a little bit, excited to be a part of the fictional world of the movie you’d decided to see. Waves looked like they were about to crash over your head, asteroids tore their way through the aisle, and the bullet from a gun was headed your way – and it was great.

Now, 3D has become a much different experience. When the lady at the ticket counter hands you the glasses, you groan, knowing you’re paying extra for something that is no longer a novelty. “Is there a 2D showing?” you ask. And the woman shakes her head. This is your only option, so you just have to take it and accept the fact that you’re going to feel dizzy afterwards. The cute outfit you wore for this occasion has gone to waste, completely offset by the glasses, and those stupid waves or bullets or asteroids are going to be flying at you.  It’s not exciting, it’s not new, and it definitely isn’t cool.

So what changed? When did 3D become a nuisance rather than a bonus in our movie-going experience? It’s hard to pinpoint the date, but it was probably around the time when you walked into the theater, looked at the list of movies, and realized over half of them were in 3D.

Don’t get me wrong, 3D great for some films. Avatar, for example, was a 3D masterpiece, and there are definitely others that fall into that category, movies where that extra dimension really does enhance the experience. But not every movie is meant for 3D. In fact, the majority of them are not.

The recent announcement that The Great Gatsby will be shot in 3D had a lot of fans (including myself) up in arms. The resounding question is “Why?” Why does this film, based on an F. Scott Fitzgerald classic, need to be in 3D? What will it add to the film? Other than a bigger opening weekend, with patrons forced to pay extra for the 3D element, not much at all, I’d wager.

One of the other downsides to 3D, aside from the higher cost of movie tickets, is that some people find it difficult. I’ve heard more than one person in a theater lamenting that they couldn’t see the screen properly with the glasses on, but when they removed them the image is blurred. Talk about a waste of time and money! For others, the 3D experience leaves them feeling dizzy or a little nauseous. A good friend of mine has to wait in her car, in the parking lot, for half an hour after the movie ends before she feels comfortable driving home. It seems pointless when all these people wanted to do was see a two-hour movie. Are all of these side-effects worth the cost?

In some bigger cities, perhaps it’s easier to find theaters that carry both 3D and 2D versions of the same movie, but in a typical, average-sized movie theater, there’s not enough room to host two different versions of the same film. From a business angle, it is more beneficial for the theater to host the 3D version rather than the 2D because patrons must pay more for 3D, meaning the movie theater earns more. So it’s hard to blame the theaters for choosing 3D over 2D. It’s less difficult, however, to blame the production companies for shooting the films in 3D to begin with.

As Uncle Ben from Spider-Man once said, “With great power comes great responsibility,” and with the power of creating a 3D motion pictures comes the responsibility of deciding which films belong in this format and which do not.  Most of the time, 3D is a don’t, but no one seems to have told the movie industry that yet. Unfortunately, I don’t see a change happening until 3D films starting tanking the box office. We’ll just have to see where the next year takes us. Let’s just hope it’s to a future without awkward, clunky glasses and overpriced movie tickets.

To read more of Kody Keplinger’s articles, click here.

For Poptimal movie reviews, click here.

Images courtesy of Dan/FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

Pretty Little Liars Review: Even TV Shows Get Prequels Now

Star Wars. X-Men. Batman. The Terminator. These are among the few film series that have seen prequels expand their sagas and I think it’s pretty obvious what other title belongs on that list – Pretty Little Liars! Duh.

Yep, that’s right, in honor of Halloween the series has returned from its hiatus with a special prequel episode that takes us back to the days before everything turned to hell and Alison still breathed oxygen. At first one might think, “Oh this will be a perfect chance for the writers to go back and shed some light on the show’s mysterious events” but you would be wrong. This episode actually served only to go back and throw in more red herrings and sub plots to make an already overly complex series, even more so.

If this prequel taught us anything though, it’s that Alison (Sasha Pieterse) was a super weird bitch. Sure, we’ve gotten tastes of this in previous flashbacks, but dammit she was awful. And in an effort to recap what went down in this episode, let us count her bitchy ways:

• She sees that new girl in town Jenna (Tammin Sursok) intends to go to the big Halloween party as Lady Gaga and threatens her to not steal her costume idea. Jenna obviously ignores her and shows up as a better Gaga, which Alison surprisingly respects and causes her to offer friendship. Jenna rebuffs her friendly advances and hit it off with Mona instead. Alison responds by calling her a whore. This might actually be her one fair assessment.
• Word slowly gets around school that Emily (Shay Mitchell) lost the big V to her boyfriend much to the shock of her friends. Alison seems to sense something is off though and susses out of Emily that it actually hasn’t happened yet. We get the sense that Alison suspects Emily of being a lesbian and this is confirmed when she catches Emily getting a lady boner from watching Jenna dance in her Gaga costume. But rather than being supportive, she immediately starts taunting her with it. Not cool, but don’t worry, Emily – it gets better.
• In a more shocking turn, Aria (Lucy Hale) catches her dad hooking up with one of his college students and it nearly tears her family apart. 1. Ew. 2. Alison somehow finds out and when Aria tries to sit out of the party, she threatens to tell Aria’s mom the secret unless she goes. 3. Rude
• Busy-body Spencer (Troian Bellisario) is running for Class President and reliant on a win. Imagine her luck when Alison reveals that she has a connection with the vote counters and knows that Spencer is in danger of losing. Being the swell friend that she is, Alison rigs the rest of the tallying for Spencer to win and then provides her with the evidence. Spencer quickly burns the documents, which only leads Alison to taunt that she should have checked the results to see who her true friends are. Drama queen much?
• Poor nerdy boy Lucas gets bullied by Alison for what appears to be no reason at all. She even lets slip in public that he was born a hermaphrodite. I have no words.
• And finally, during the party she lures her four “friends” into a scary house with text messages that she is in danger and needs help. She then locks them in a room and pretends to be attacked by a killer wearing a creepy, fat baby mask who she thinks is resident dreamboat, Noel (Brant Daugherty). The girls flock to her rescue only to learn that it was all a sham and Alison was merely testing their devotion.

In summation, this witch deserved to be attacked by a real serial killer.

But as I mentioned above, it WASN’T Noel under the fat baby mask and whoever it was had been stalking, texting, and sending voodoo dolls to Alison the whole episode. Many people at the party were wearing this costume (maybe it was all the costume store had left?) including the bitter hermaphrodite Lucas. But could her brother Jason have been under one of those chubby masks too? Very hard to say and honestly I’m not sure if the writers know either.

And on a non-Alison related note, Hannah’s mom had an awkward encounter with a cute cop who clearly wanted to take a bite out of her crime. She brushed him off pretty easily and he made a vague threat but then showed up at the teenage Halloween party drinking with the kids. Not really sure what to make of that at all.

But that about sums it up for this Halloween special. The show now goes back into hiding until January when new episodes resume and the plot no doubt thickens further. Until then, happy holidays and speculate away down below!

Pretty Little Liars Season 2, Episode 13 “The First Secret” (originally aired October 19, 2011)

Images courtesy of ABC.

Review: Dancing With the Stars Parties Like it’s 1989

“It’s 80′s night, and the rhythm is gonna get ya!” Tom Bergeron warns us as he opens this week’s Dancing With the Stars, standing next to the lovely Brooke Burke Charvet (which is French for “Tom?”), who was sporting some pretty kick-ass 1980′s big hair atop her brunette head. Bergeron, however, remained in his current, modern day spiffy suit and hairstyle. Now that I think about it, Bergeron has looked the same for decades. No matter what era it is, TommyB pulls off maturity and handsomeness effortlessly. He is a timeless gem, topped with an endless supply of wit and humor. (Okay Tom – have I kissed your ass enough yet to make up for last week’s insensitive crack about you looking like Brooke Burke’s dad? Good. Now we can all move on. ) Each of the eight remaining couples would dance to a song from the 1980s, complete with more ridiculous costumes, characters and scenarios. And the best part? All of this happened “LIIIIIIIIVVVVEEE!!!!! THIS is Dancing With the Stars!!!!!!!” Let us get right to the cheesy, mirror-ball action. . .

Hope / Maks:

Still not feelin’ it with Hope Solo. She comes across as annoyingly whiny and almost bitchy to me. She doesn’t seem like she really wants to be there, and she always looks like dead weight on the dance floor, even when she does a good routine. There is no soul in her eyes when she moves. Am I making myself clear here? During rehearsal footage, Hope explained that she has trouble getting into the  character of each dance, because in her sport, she is less familiar with acting and more familiar with “balls being driven at my face.” WHOA!!! HEY!!! This is a family show, lady! Nobody needs to hear that! Oh, wait. You were talking about soccer? Ahhh. Well, I guess that’s okay then. The couple danced a Tango to Bon Jovi’s “Livin On A Prayer” which I would review for you if I remembered one thing about it. Watching this woman dance is like watching someone drag a piece of plywood or cardboard across a dance floor. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz …….. total snoozefest. Grandpa Len called her “too willowy in the body,” while Bruno exclaimed something about her being an “80′s super bitch!” Carrie Ann chimed in, and then all three of them argued and yelled back and forth and spoke at the same time like those crazy-ass bitches on The View. Then Len got tired and took a little nap. Judges’ Scores were 8/8/8, and Brooke Burke Charvet (which is French for “I like shoes”) wanted to know “How does that feel?”

Carson Muppet / Anna:

During rehearsal footage, Carson Muppet got very frustrated with the challenges of the Jive, excused himself from the dance room, screamed, and then returned. He cracks me up. The couple danced to Wham’s “Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go,” and appeared in the cutest, cheesiest, most colorful getups one has ever seen. 3 seconds into the dance and Carson was all open-mouthed Muppet again. The dance was SO adorable and SO fun and SO colorful, it was almost hard to notice how awful Carson really is as a dancer. Almost. It looked a bit like Toni Basil on crack. They had the whole cheerleader vibe going, pom-poms included, and it felt like if Donny and Marie Osmond ever had an 80′s special at a Roller Rink. Bruno called it “a crowning achievement in madness!” Carrie Ann didn’t notice any technique anywhere in the entire routine. Fossil Len started with “Carson, you know I love you. . .”, to which Carson replied: “I know. I’ve been getting your letters.” Bergeron laughed his handsome ass off, and Len spit up a bit of oatmeal onto his shirt sleeve. Judges’ Scores were very low at 6/6/7, and Burke asked them how did that feel. Then, she attempted to make a little pun using the title of the 80′s song. “If you don’t want them to ‘go-go’, then call and vote!” HAHAHA!!!! Get it??? Go-go??? Wham??? I wonder how long she stood in the mirror the night before practicing that gem. My guess is 6 hours.

Tits McGee / Man Ass:

It’s gotten to the point now where I am expecting Nancy Grace to show me the money (Her ta-tatas. Or nipples. Or let out a fart. I’m not fussy.) So, when all goes seemingly normal for the couple and there are no major mishaps, it is rather disappointing. The couple danced The Rumba to Spandau Ballet’s “True” and McGee’s hot pink and black dress and horrible wig made her look like a tranny, or Dee Snyder from Twisted Sister. It looked to me like she forgot the steps in mid-dance, but nobody mentioned it at all, so I must be nuts. The judges seemed to like her this week, while I thought she looked like she was being dragged against her will across the dance floor. Hey, what do I know? Judges’ Scores were high at 7/7/8, and there were no major catastrophes involving boobs, nips, or gas leaks. Although rumor has it that Grace wasn’t wearing any panties. No, that’s not true. I just wanted to gross you out. Brooke told us to vote for them if we thought that their dance was “True.” Get it??? True? The song? Never mind.

J.R. / Karina:

Just like “Charvet” is French for “Huh?”, J.R. is Latin for Jose Rene, which I was unaware of until this week; when J.R. decided to bring out his Latin roots (anotherwords … shake those hips!) The couple danced The Samba to Miami Sound Machine’s “The Conga”, and it was by far the dance of the night. Len awoke from his coma to report “Way to go Jose!” Bruno called J.R. a “loin-shattering sex machine!”, and Horny Carrie Ann pleaded “I want more! MORE!” Oh, I bet you do, lady. Calm the hell down. Judges Scores were 9/9/10, and Brooke Burke asked “How GREAT does that feel?” See what she did there? She added the word “great” to her classic question; so therefore; it’s technically a different question. Right?

Rob / Cheryl:

Pointless Kardashian boy got all worried and concerned because he was told he needed to be sexy in this dance, which was The Rumba. Dork-boy apparently has never had to be sexy before in his life, and he doesn’t know how. I swear, he looks like someone who just sits in a basement all day long playing video games on his Playstation. However, by some small miracle, Cheryl was able to bring out the man inside the little boy (please don’t take that literally), and he delivered a very nice dance. Len told him that he “took command,” and Horny Carrie Ann purred that he was full-on “sexy; you were totally in control of the woman!” Then she pounced on him and began to grind hard. Scores were 9/8/8, the highest this couple has ever received. HOW DOES THAT FEEL???

Chaz / Lacey:

Okay, why is this dude still fat? Everyone else is losing weight left and right, and tubby over here still looks like my middle-aged plumber. I will say that his arms seem to be getting more firm and less. . .well. . .flabby. In any case, the couple danced The Samba, and the producers put Chaz in yet another horrible, awful cruise-ship waiter-looking suit. Luckily, this time, he did take off the jacket soon after they started dancing. What was underneath the jacket? ANOTHER horrible, awful shirt that was covered in blue ruffles and looked like “the puffy shirt” from that Seinfeld episode. The song was “Get Down On It” by Kool and the Gang, and the couple was very good. Bono shook his plumber ass quite well, and the Judges seemed to approve. Bruno mumbled something about dribbling a basketball. I have no freakin clue what the hell he was talking about. Len made a grumbling noise and then chewed on a sucking candy. Scores were 7/7/7, and Brooke was curious as to how did the couple feel?

David / Kym:

Creepy vein-face-head put a lot of effort and dedication in this week, wanting badly to prove that he is, in fact, a dancer. The couple danced a Tango to Soft Cell’s hit “Tainted Love.” The Judges were all in agreement that the dance was strong, and perhaps David’s strongest in awhile. Len called it fantastic, Carrie Ann said it had no musicality, and Bruno stood up and waved his arms in the air while offering up metaphors no human being can understand. All three judges talked over each other, and Bergeron scolded them gently, saying “Kids! When you all talk at once, we can’t hear anything you’re saying!” Backstage in the skybox, Burke asked David a simple question, to which he responded: “Barrghhtmuffin murphhhhuth heh heh heh oooooooohhhh Gowd Yessss dvncoiavvvvvttttyyyy 7777 HA!!!” Dude, WTF are you saying? He is such a goon. Judges’ Scores were 8/9/8, and David yelled out something into Brooke’s microphone, laughed wildly, then exited the skybox area. Please get help.

Ricki / Derek:

During rehearsal footage, Lake had a visit from the man that launched her career with the film Hairspray, John Waters. He basically told her to have fun. Gee, that’s some genius advice there! The couple danced a foxtrot to the horrible Phil Collins song “Easy Lover.” Yuck. As Derek Hough pointed out, the song’s melody and tune does not lend itself at ALL to a foxtrot dance, so this was challenging for them and their performance wasn’t quite as high quality as normal. Very cute and fun dance, but the Judges had seen better from Ricki, so they were being a bit harsh I think. Scores were 8/8/8, and nobody could find Brooke Burke or David Arquette. Later, they were both discovered on the roof of the building, laughing maniacally and enjoying mints.

RESULTS SHOW:

Blah blah blah. Lots of dancing. Blah blah blah. Kelly Clarkson performance. A whole bunch of clips, montages, and pro-dancing. Brooke Burke talks to some of the couples backstage, and Chaz Bono has his fly open the whole time. Not so great being a dude, eh? EH???

The bottom two couples were Carson/Anna , and Hope/Maks.

Carson Muppet and Anna went home. Yes, he stunk as a dancer. But you know what? He was THE most entertaining contestant on the show. He was funny and smart and just so much fun. Why the heck couldn’t stupid Hope have gone home? She looks miserable there, so lets send her home already. As for Carson, I am hoping he lives up to his wish: to be paired with another man in the finale show, hopefully Maks. I would pay money to see this. Please make it happen DWTS!

Next week is Broadway Week. Showtunes without Carson Kressley? TRAVESTY! I simply will not have it.

Season 13, Episode 8 and 9 (originally aired October 17 and 18, 2011)

For more on Dancing With the Stars, click here.

Dancing With the Stars airs Mondays at 8/7c; Results on Tuesdays at 9/8c on ABC.

Photographs courtesy of ABC and Adam Taylor

 

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