The X-Factor Review: Auditions at Judges’ Homes Decide Final Top 16

This week, Simon Cowell’s new hit The X Factor got serious. Well, when it finally aired, after numerous delays and switching around of days and times due to massive amounts of rain and Major League Baseball Playoff games being played on FOX, it got serious. The bottom line? All 32 contestants were broken up into their four categories (Boys, Girls, Groups, and Over 30′s), and then flew to the Judge’s separate homes to have one final audition there, that would decide whether or not they would be part of the Top 16 or go home. This week during “Judges’ Homes” auditions, three things immediately became apparent:

1. Now that host Steve Jones has much more to do and say during the episodes, I can officially announce that he is WAY LESS ANNOYING than Ryan Seacrest over on that. . .ahem. . .other show. Jones is actually quite pleasant, has a fantastic accent, and hey, he isn’t bothering anyone. I like the guy.

2. There are a LOT of bugs and insects and things flying around outdoors at ALL four locations where each judge lives. This makes no sense to me. How can there possibly be that many mosquitoes or fruit flies or whatever the heck people are batting around with their hands while singing at every single location? Since all the auditions took place outdoors on various, ridiculously large patios and yards, the bug issue became quite obvious and humorous. Every single contestant was fighting away swarms of insects from beating up their faces as they walked up to the staged area to sing. Weird.

3. The four judges ARE UNBELIEVABLY FILTHY FREAKIN RICH!!!! Holy Crap!!!! The mansions these people live in are something out of a fairytale, complete with sculptures, mini-bars, giant pools, waterfalls, and other things I can only dream about inside my head as I type this from my tiny one-bedroom, old as hell apartment in New Jersey.

The week was broken up into three episodes with the first two showing each audition of the 32 contestants. Each judge had a superstar there as a guest to help them make their final decisions. Each judge started with eight  contestants in their category coming to their home and had to cut them in half, ending up with a Top 16 for the upcoming live shows after the World Series ends and the show returns.

To go over each and every audition would take decades. Here are some of the standouts, and then the Judges’ final decisions for the Top 16:

The Girls – mentored by Simon Cowell

The stand-out performances in this category, in my opinion, were Caitlin Koch, who performed a pure and lovely vocal to “Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow”; Drew Ryniewitz, whose voice is just so different and unique and beautiful that it stands out to me each and every time she sings; Rachel Crow, the youngest girl in the competition at age 13, and who possesses and incredibly mature vocal and phrasing ability for someone of her age; and my absolute favorite to date, Melanie Amaro; who kicked ass on a Michael Jackson ballad. I absolutely love her.

The Boys – mentored by L.A. Reid:

Although there is a lot of talent and standouts in this category, there were some boys who just simply looked like stars up there performing for Reid and his guest judge, Rihanna. First up was one of my absolute favorites Marcus Canty, who sang a slow song with such emotion and charm that it was almost inspirational. Next standout for me was Chris Rene, whose version of “Everyday People” left me rooting for him on every level. I love that guy. I also think that Tim Cifers and Phillip Lomax stood out as the other two that I would most likely vote for, although, again, its a tough category that includes a lot of varied styles and talent, so it will be hard for them to choose only 4.

The Groups – mentored by Paula Abdul:

Another tough category, especially since two of the eight groups were just recently formed and put together by the four judges themselves, so they haven’t had much of a chance to fully figure out who they are as artists yet. That being said, there were definite standouts in this category. For me, the groups that showed talent and professionalism above and beyond the rest were The Anser, The Brewer Boys, 4Shore, and The Stereo Hogzz. A number of the groups choreography and singing came across as cheesy and/or a bit generic. I think this is the toughest category to find a true STAR in because it’s so tough for a group to really stand out as complete originals.

The Over 30′s – mentored by Nicole Schwarzinger:

This was another rough category, but probably my favorite. I love the idea of someone older winning the 5 million dollar contract and finally having their dreams realized at that part of their life. Singer Enrique Iglesias helped Nicole to make her final decisions. The first standout was Stacey Francis, who delivered a heart-wrenching, gorgeous performance of Prince’s “Purple Rain.” Also standing out were Leroy Bell, Josh Krajcik, Christa Collins, and Elaine Gibbs. This will be a hard one, because a lot of them have similar type/style voices, and I don’t think they will choose two people with a similar style in the same category.

After what seemed like hours and days of deliberating and deciding and delaying, each judge had to decide which four to choose to go ahead into the Final 15 live shows, which begin next Tuesday. Although there were a few decisions I completely disagreed with, overall, the level of talent in the top 16  is beyond exceptional. Well, it’s actually a Top 17, because Simon was an IDIOT beyond belief and rejected THE BEST PERSON IN THE ENTIRE COMPETITION, Melanie Amaro, in a move that can only be described as MORONIC! After he chose his final four, however, he realized that he had made a HUGE error, and flew to Melanie’s house unannounced, to apologize to her and her family for saying no to her. He then asked her to be in the competition, and of course, she said YES! HELLOOOO??? This girl could win the whole damn show! How could you even CONSIDER not putting her through? Ugh. When he said no to her, I wanted to reach through my TV and punch him in the face. Anyway, he wised up and finally came around. So, with that being said, here they are …

Nicole and the Over 30′s:

Josh Krajcik, Leroy Bell, Stacey Francis, Dexter Haygood.

Paula and The Groups:

The Brewer Boys, Intensity, Lakoda Rayne, The Stereo Hogzz.

L.A. Reid and The Boys:

Bryan Bradley (ASTRO), Phillip Lomax, Chris Rene, Marcus Canty.

Simon Cowell and The Girls:

Simone Battle (lame), Drew Rynewitcz, Tiah Tolliver, Rachel Crow, and Melanie Amaro. (DUH!)

The show comes back next Tuesday after The World Series to begin their live performance shows and America can vote, and the judges will start competing against one another to get THEIR acts to the top prize.

Who is your favorite? Did they make it through?

Season 1, Episodes 7-9 (originally aired October 13, 16, and 18, 2011)

X Factor airs Wednesdays and Thursdays at 8/7c on FOX.

Photos courtesy of xfactorusa.com

Interview with The Avengers’ Tom Hiddleston: “You Were Made To Be Ruled”

When asked about his favorite line from next summer’s blockbuster, The Avengers, Tom Hiddleston (Loki) , commented that it was a scene connected to the movie’s trailer. “You were made to be ruled,” Hiddleston responded, mimicking the line from the trailer. ”[It] smacks of an entitlement, arrogance, and sort of a menace in a way that sums Loki up pretty well.”

Hiddleston promises there will be changes to the Loki that we have come to know from this past summer’s Thor. “He is definitively more menacing. Loki in Thor is a lost prince and there is a degree of vulnerability and confusion about his identity,” he explained. “In The Avengers, he knows exactly who he is; he is fully self-possessed, and he is here with a particular mission.”

However, Hiddleston doesn’t believe Loki finds himself in the wrong, which resembles the very motives Loki possessed in Thor. “Like all delusional autocrats, he doesn’t see it as vengeance. He sees it as a good thing. Essentially he’s come down to Earth to subjugate it, to rule the human race as their King,” said Hiddleston. “His primary argument is, this planet is rife and populated by people who are constantly fighting each other. If they’re all united together in their reverence of one King, there will be no war. I’m not sure he’s right about that, but that’s his reasoning. I think there’s still a jealousy that Thor gets to have a kingdom. Thor gets Asgard, so he’s going to come and make his own kingdom.”

Fans can expect Loki to bring the destruction as Hiddleston promises a lot of “hellfire and brimstone” to be reigned down upon the denizens of earth. “Joss [Whedon] had two notes for me. One was ‘more feral,’ and the other was ‘enjoy yourself.’ And I think there’s this kind of relish that Loki takes in being who he is that I hope the audience will enjoy as well.”

Hiddleston was wary of what he said during the roundtable interview, making sure not to let any details slip. When asked if he was working alone or not, Hiddleston took in a deep breath before carefully choosing his words. “There’s a lot of working alone, and then there’s a little bit of support as well,” he teased.

Hiddleston went on to joke that taking on eight superheros was all in a day’s work. “There’s something about Loki that’s been expanded. He’s an enormously powerful being; he’s the God of Mischief. And between the end of Thor and the beginning of Avengers, he’s evolved. It’s as if he’s been on a three years’ worth of military training. He knows a few extra things, tricks up his sleeve. It’s really fun. It was hugely physically demanding, for me. There’s a kind of lethal and yet sinewy strength that he has. That sometimes is considered about magic and a supernatural power that he has, and other times a raw physicality. Which is just me and my body, day in and day out.”

In terms of scale of the film, The Avengers will cover many locations and not just one city, “but inevitably Manhattan becomes a focused point partly because that’s where Tony Stark lives. There’s one shot in the trailer you can see the Quinjet flying towards Manhattan and in the middle of it is Stark Tower, which in the fictitious world of the comics Tony Stark has a huge, um… interestingly shaped tower, opposite the Chrysler building, which is his base of operations, that’s where Stark Industries operates out of. Stark Tower becomes a focal point for lots of reasons.”

Studying up on both Marvel and Norse mythology, Hiddleston was able to craft the God of Mischief into a hybrid creation of his own. “I borrowed from both [mythologies]. In the Marvel mythology, the initial incarnations of Loki had him cackling on the rooftops. He was really a two-dimensional villain. It was really in the Norse myths where I went back and read some of them [that I understood] how psychologically complex Loki seemed to be. He’s the God of Lies, the God of Deception, and he seems to be that. Every religion has an agent of chaos.”

When asked about a multiple villain pitfall most superhero movies seem to fall in, Hiddleston commented, “I wouldn’t say it is really a multiple villain [movie]. I would say it’s a solo villain; it really is one and it’s Loki. He is the bad guy. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t commandeer help, but I think everyone is aware that if you have eight superheroes and you had eight supervillians as well in a two hour picture, it’s a lot of people to care about and lot to get behind.”

Tom Hiddleston can be seen in the upcoming films War Horse (opens this December) and The Avengers (May 4, 2012).

Images and videos courtesy of Bilal Mian and Poptimal.com.

Gossip Girl Review: Stranger Than Fiction

Looks like Lonely Boy is going to get a whole lot lonelier.

This week’s Gossip Girl may have been the favorite of the season. Whether that’s because the writing was better than it has been in weeks or because Chuck finally had significant scenes, I don’t know, but it worked. I’m not even going to complain about Charlie/Ivy this week. I’m not going to say anything complimentary, but I’m not going to complain. I’ve moved from annoyance to indifference, which I suppose is a step up.

This week it was all about Dan and his new book, Inside, which is about to be released. (Just as a side note: in the real world, books take more than a year to be published after they sell, not 3 months).  The book has sold massively in pre-orders, and Dan is about to step forward and acknowledge that he’s the author. But first he has to spring the news on his friends and family, who are not so subtly depicted in the book.

For his part, Nate is pretty apathetic, even after learning that Dan made his character gay. He’s too busy trying to find out who the mysterious Ivy, after stealing her phone at the fashion show last week, to care about the antics his fictional double gets into. It’s a good thing he’s got his sexy boss, Diana, and new co-worker, Charlie/Ivy (who Diana ropes into the job after discovering her true identity and promising to keep it secret) to keep him company because by the end of the day, Nate has lost his best friend, Dan. It wasn’t being gay that bothered Nate; it was realizing that his character is a compilation of himself and Eric, Serena’s brother, rather than a character on his own that upsets him.

Serena is pretty indifferent, too, until her co-worker informs her that Sabrina, her fictional counter-part, is a selfish, flighty, irresponsible girl who never changes. Serena’s job is put in danger by this portrayal, so she flips through the book to read her scenes. She’d been convinced Dan would show the “real” her – the deeper side she thought only he saw. Not the case. Sabrina is a shallow party girl, and Serena is infuriated.  When she confronts Dan, he argues that the protagonist, Dylan Hunter, is a “judgmental dick” who was painted worse than anyone. The thing is, though, Serena really is pretty selfish and shallow because she can only think about herself here, not Dan or Blair or anyone else. Seems like Dan hit the nail on the head with Sabrina and Serena.

Blair doesn’t want to read the book. Dan has told her not to, and she’s convinced that it’s because he portrayed her character as being mean and snobby, the way she’d been toward him in high school.  Dan doesn’t contradict this assumption, and Blair puts the book out of her mind. She and Louis are about to tell their parents she’s pregnant, so she has bigger things on her mind. But when Louis reads the book and then starts treating Blair coldly, she’s prompted to flip through the pages. Turns out Dan didn’t pain Blair in a bad light – not at all.  Actually she’s painted better than anyone – she’s Dylan Hunter’s love interest, and that’s the problem. In the novel, Fictional Dan and Fictional Blair have sex, and Louis is convinced it really happened.  Blair is furious with Dan and tells him their friendship is over as she goes after Louis.

Chuck is the only one who has actually read the entire book, and at first he’s cool with it, despite the fact that his character, Charlie Trout, dies.  It isn’t until Dan’s agent comments on how lonely and tragic the character is that Chuck starts to feel a little less okay with his story. He tells Louis not to let Blair go, not to lose the chance to have love in his life. Louis takes his advice, and Chuck goes to see Lily, his stepmother and perhaps the only person who has ever loved him unconditionally.  He tells Lily that he doesn’t want to be the unrepentant bad boy who is left alone in the end.  It was probably the most touching scene of the episode, and it warmed my heart to see Chuck and Lily bonding again.

But poor, poor Dan.  In the end, none of his friends or family were happy for him.  Even his father expressed frustration at his depiction as a has-been who married for money. I really felt for Dan. As a writer myself, I know what it’s like for people not to understand the line between fact and fiction, and even though Dan’s characters were reflections of his real friends, the book is still a novel.  He never meant this to happen, he never wanted the novel published, and now everyone hates him (except Chuck, who is just kind of sad). It made me hate the others a little, actually.

I thought Dan’s turmoil was pretty realistic, as were the reactions of his friends and family.  It’s a risk a lot of writers face when they publish something semi-auto-biographical. So while the episode was full of humor, it also rang true emotionally.  Keep it up Gossip Girl writers! You’re on a roll here!

Best Storyline: The entire book plot.
Worst Storyline: Charlie/Ivy and Diana teaming up.  It just didn’t sync with the rest of the episode.
Want to See More Of: Chuck and Lily!
Want to See Less Of: Charlie/Ivy

Season 5, Episode 4: Memoirs of an Invisible Dan (original air date October 17, 2011)

Gossip Girl airs Monday nights at 8/7c on The CW.

Images courtesy of Giovanni Rufino and The CW Network.

The Walking Dead Review: Keeping The Faith

AMC’s post-apocalyptic zombie thriller series The Walking Dead has shattered ratings records and made an indelible mark on pop culture surely even the showrunners themselves couldn’t have foreseen when the show exploded on the network this time last year. Its mere six episodes drew in a staggering audience, whose appetite for more survivalist adventures of the motley cast of characters seems as insatiable as the zombies’ own lust for human flesh. Robert Kirkman’s ongoing series of graphic novels provides source material with an undeniable cult following and indie cred, but the overwhelming success of the show has eclipsed such underground recognition and made The Walking Dead a bona fide household name.

This week’s long-awaited second season premiere proved the series’ popularity no fluke, as the “supersized” 90-minute episode picked up right where the previous installment left off, and unprecedented viewers followed suit. Plenty of controversy has surrounded the creative direction of Walking Dead in the months between its debut and sophomore seasons, beginning with the eyebrow-raising news in December that now-former executive producer Frank Darabont would fire the entire writing staff, and ending with the more recent development this summer that Darabont himself had been ousted to make room for new showrunner Glen Mazzara. Skeptics initially worried that the absence of a writing team would compromise the show’s intellectual integrity and render it another empty vehicle for special effects, but the renowned Darabont’s exile now leaves the show in even bigger limbo.

Truth be told, although Walking Dead’s executive team and cast continually testify that the show’s ability to balance character development within the framework of suspenseful, gory zombie attacks helps it elude the dreaded gimmicky territory so many horror projects fall into, it seemed obvious to me throughout the first season that the scare tactics far outweighed the attempts to generate genuine pathos. With soapy storylines like the love triangle between Deputy Sheriff Rick Grimes (Andrew Lincoln), his wife Lori (Sarah Wayne Callies) and best friend and former police partner Shane Walsh (Jon Bernthal) serving as a primary example of the human relationships among the characters, Walking Dead’s glossy exterior and barrier-breaking levels of violence ultimately usurp the show’s standing as a serious contender for dramatic honors.

Indeed, as Sunday’s second-season premiere, the aptly titled “What Lies Ahead,” provided several suspenseful sequences of imminent undead upheaval, the plodding dialogue and sluggish transitions kept the focus sadly directed more toward the relatively unimportant angst within the band of survivors than on the more sweeping symbolism their situation has potential to acknowledge. With the trip to the CDC an official bust, Rick and the gang prepare to hit the road toward Fort Benning, a 125-mile trek that already hits a major snag barely outside the Atlanta city limits. The episode promisingly opens with Rick on his walkie-talkie, waxing philosophical to Morgan and Duane, the father and son duo from the first season with whom he tries to reestablish contact. “It’s all about slim chances now,” Rick declares to the unresponsive airwaves, acknowledging that every survival plan he’s tried to execute thus far since the outbreak has failed.

A few nuanced touches do highlight the shreds of humanity remaining in the group, particularly upholding Rick’s determination to “keep the faith” throughout their journey. He and Lori share a brief laugh about a doomed trip to the Grand Canyon years ago, cut short by their son Carl’s intestinal woes. “I had no idea a baby could throw up that much,” Rick chuckles. The gravity of their current situation quickly cuts through the levity, however, when Carl (Chandler Riggs) chimes in that he’d still like to visit the geographical landmark someday. Lori and Rick exchange quick glances of both alarm and remorse before their silence gives Carl all the response he needs. With all that’s happened, sadly, the Grand Canyon is no longer what lies ahead for the Grimes family.

Instead, as the group’s RV overheats in the blistering Georgia sun, the survivors are suddenly trapped in the bleakest freeway pileup ever depicted. Most of the cars are abandoned, but plenty still contain the rotting carcasses of their drivers, and as Rick and Dale (Jeffery DeMunn) scope out a path to clear, they discover a staggering herd of walkers headed their way. Shane’s delight at discovering a truck full of fresh water (way to waste an entire jug on your own personal Flashdance moment, dude) is deflated as Rick hisses for everyone to dive underneath the cars for safety.

The ratcheting tension as the zombies menacingly shuffle along helps make the scene the most wholly successful and entertaining of the entire episode, and such pulpy effects as Andrea (Laurie Holden) stabbing her intruder in the eye with Dale’s screwdriver help punctuate the sequence to gleefully gratuitous effect. Ditto T-Dog (IronE Singleton) and the grimace-inducing lengths he and Daryl (Norman Reedus) take to remain undetected, especially after T-Dog slices his arm to the bone on a car door, leaving a curiously undetected trail of blood. However, the potential development created by the sudden zombie scourge is sadly wasted when the major plot advance that ultimately results is the disappearance of Carol’s young daughter, Sophia (Madison Lintz), after a walker chases her into the woods and she promptly ignores Rick’s advice to stay put in a designated hiding spot.

It’s here where the episode begins to lose its traction as the characters devolve into more illogical and incredulous behavior. Rick, naturally, receives unabashed ire from Carol for leaving Sophia in the woods, but Carol’s constant hand-wringing and finger-pointing get tired quickly, particularly when it becomes obvious she isn’t going to make any effort to search for Sophia herself. Lori and Rick’s permission to allow 12-year-old Carl to help look for his friend instead of staying behind in relative safety marks another gold star-worthy parenting move, and the entire subplot of Andrea and her insistence on carrying a gun quickly wears thin. The consistency of maintaining her character’s emotional instability is welcome, but Dale’s focus on keeping her away from weapons seems to serve as nothing but filler. When Andrea and fellow misfit Shane discuss leaving the group, Andrea’s announcement that she’d like to “start over somewhere” actually made me laugh out loud. Have these people forgotten the world has ended?

Luckily, more zombies mercifully interrupt the rampant banality. The undisputed grossest scene of the episode takes place when Rick and Daryl perform a makeshift autopsy on one walker, searching for signs of Sophia within his gooey entrails with remarkable dexterity. After they break the news of their research, the group races to find the source of the chiming church bells suddenly piercing the air. Inside, a trio of zombies is quietly nestled in the pews, making for a hilarious, unconventionally apropos congressional setting. The humans, of course, use the opportunity to put in a few requests to ol’ JC (thanks, Daryl, for the most quotable line of the episode) after making quick work of the praying dead, and Rick gets to unleash his second faith-related soliloquy of the episode. Carol, meanwhile, cries more and still doesn’t look for her daughter.

Carl remains on the hunt for Sophia with Rick and Shane, however, and their search continues after the church proves underwhelming in both zombie slaying and divine guidance capabilities. Back in the forest, Carl spies an innocent, stunningly beautiful deer peering at him, and as he slowly approaches the animal with a look of pure wonderment, it’s not clear whether he’s thinking, “Wow, I am transfixed by the majesty of this woodland creature,” or “Yum, venison.” We aren’t given the chance to know, as a bullet suddenly rips through the deer’s torso and into Carl’s, knocking both of them to the ground. As a pool of blood begins to saturate Carl’s shirt, it becomes clear Rick is going to have to have another chat with JC.

Fans of the graphic novels surely already know who fired that shot, and glimpses into next week’s episode teased the introduction of some much-needed new characters, including veterinarian Herchel Greene and his daughter Maggie. With The Walking Dead’s second season now underway and its controversial creative chaos well-documented in the press, I have faith that these characters will find more articulate ways of talking to each other as the season continues, despite the curiously sloppy writing of the premiere. If not, another herd of zombies surely lies ahead.

What did you think of the return of The Walking Dead? Does the title refer more to the zombies or the humans? Did the balls-out special effects and sound editing override the god-awful dialogue? When did Daryl get so awesome? Is anyone else hoping to catch a glimpse of Gus Fring straightening his tie somewhere? Post your thoughts in the comments section below!

Season 2, Episode 1: What Lies Ahead (original airdate October 16, 2011)

The Walking Dead airs Sunday nights at 9/8c on AMC.

Images courtesy of Gene Page/AMC.

The Amazing Race Review: Curly and Moe at the Beach

I’ve really grown fond of contestants Andy and Tommy on this season’s The Amazing Race. Over the past couple of weeks they’ve shown themselves to be steady competitors who work hard and don’t create any drama between other teams or within their own. And I can respect that. Last week we saw as Andy/Tommy helped out fellow racers Amani/Marcus with the answer for a task. Although that tip didn’t quite pay off as it should have for the other team, it arguably helped them to stay in the race.

On this week’s episode, Andy and Tommy spread more of their goodwill by teaming up with Laurence and Zac in an effort to secure their place as the top two teams two weeks in a row. But thanks to a BAD (!!!) judgment call, this move leaves the two teams in dead last as The Amazing Race travels on to Thailand.

We start this week’s episode with the teams traveling to Phuket, Thailand. Because they were the first teams to arrive at the pit stop last week, Andy/Tommy and Laurence/Zac are the first to leave for the airport to get their tickets. While talking to the travel agent at the airport, Andy/Tommy learn that to get to Phuket they have to get a flight that connects in Jakarta and then travel on to their destination city in Thailand. Andy/Tommy decide that instead of booking the entire flight, they’ll book the flight to Jakarta, where they should presumably be able to have their pick of flights on to Phuket. They convince Laurence/Zac to cancel their flights straight through so that they too can travel by the seat of their pants.

This turns out to be a bad idea. Can you believe that? While Andy/Tommy and Laurence/Zac are flying to Jakarta, every other team books their flights to Thailand via Jakarta. By the time Andy/Tommy and Laurence/Zac land in Jakarta they find that the single flight to Phuket is fully booked. And that’s how they end up in last place going to Thailand.

For the challenge this week, the teams had to choose between two beach-side tasks. For the first task, the teams set up beach chairs and umbrellas according to a specific guide that they were given. This task requires the teams to have a critical eye to set the scene, so to speak, to perfection because if a single aspect is wrong (like having the chairs propped incorrectly), the teams can’t move on. This task is complicated by strong winds that are playing havoc on the execution. In the other task, the teams have to put together a coral nursery and then paddle themselves out to the middle of the ocean and set it up underwater along with placing coral inside it.

Most of the teams start off with the coral but due to the difficulty of putting and keeping the nursery together (it falls apart easily) most teams also abandon this task. Andy/Tommy and Justin/Jennifer are the only two teams who actually complete this task. And, of course, there should be no surprise when I mention that Justin/Jennifer argue all the way through it. I do not know how these two can stand each other’s company, but I’m quickly reaching the point where I no longer want to.

The rest of the teams, one way or another, end up at the beach task. Liz/Marie, Ernie/Cindy and Laurence/Zac initially chose to do this task so they’ve been working at it the longest by the time Marcus/Amani, Bill/Cathi, and Jeremy/Sandy arrive after switching tasks. Liz/Marie for their part have been having a grand time giving the locals a laugh at their expense. For some reason these girls’ inadequacy at this task is hilarious to the local men looking on. So while Liz and Marie struggle with the chairs and fight the wind for beach umbrellas, there’s a bunch of men lounging in the background getting their merry on. I don’t blame them, this is something they do everyday. And seeing the two girls making like Curly and Moe on the beach is sure to be a great source of live entertainment.

Anyway, Liz and Marie are horrible at this task, because despite spending numerous professional hours on the beach (they were lifeguards) they haven’t a clue how to stabilize an oversized umbrella. Throughout this team’s long struggle on the beach, the other teams come along to offer advice. Sandy comes by to offer a few helpful hints to the girls, meanwhile her own partner Jeremy could use a little bit of that help as well. Marcus/Amani finish the task before the girls and on their way out, Marcus tells the girls to twist the umbrellas down into the ground. The girls try it out but that probably means something more when you’re packed with former NFL muscle. Liz/Marie are the last ones here.

For the next part, teams have to use a compass and map to direct themselves to the next challenge which involves these two miniature mountains in the middle of the ocean. Surprisingly, Laurence, the sailing extraordinaire, and Zac are the first to get lost. Okay, seeing this I must say that really calls into question Laurence’s whole sailing around the world alone thing. Ernie/Cindy also get lost; I guess navigation is not one of the twenty thousand things they covered before they got here. But luckily for them, mountain climbing is, and they are able to make up some time when they eventually get to the next task which is to climb the mini-mountains.

Also making up some time are Bill and Cathi. Bill quickly scales the mountains much to Cathi’s visual delight. Cathi reveals to us that the two have already decided that if it’s necessary for them to make up time, Bill and not Cathi will be doing the roadblock. This means that later on, if they remain in the race, Cathi will be putting in the work. Laurence/Zac eventually get to the task as well and make up for their misdirection.

There isn’t any urgency at the end of this week’s leg because by this time Liz/Marie are so far at the back, that there’s really no danger for any other team barring COMPLETE incompetence. As expected, Andy/Tommy are the first to arrive at the pit stop and win $5,000 a piece. Also, unexpectedly, Liz/Marie are the last team to arrive and as they are in the middle of singing their swan song, host Phil Keoghan informs them that this is a non-elimination and they will be continuing on.

Here are the rankings:
1. Andy/Tommy- winning a sweet $5,000 a piece
2. Justin/Jennifer
3. Jeremy/Sandy
4. Laurence/Zac
5. Ernie/Cindy
6. Marcus/Amani
7. Bill/Cathi
8. Liz/Marie- will have speed bump

Next week, the teams head to Bangkok where they travel on elephants, get lost, and have serious money issues.

For another take on this week’s episode check out “Lost At Sea” by Gabe Callahan.

Season 19, Episode 4: “This Is Gonna Be A Fine Mess (Phuket, Thailand)”

The Amazing Race airs Sundays at 9/8c on CBS.

Images courtesy of CBS Broadcasting.

The Amazing Race Review: Lost At Sea

If you’re a fan of The Amazing Race, you knew this moment would happen eventually. It took longer than I thought it would, but for the first time this season the teams had to camp out overnight to wait for a place to open so they can complete a task. It’s one of those things, like limited plane flights, that equalizes the teams and voids any time advantage. This was also a non-elimination leg of the race, which if you watch long enough you can tell is coming as well, so that was good news for the Wonder Twins because they ran into a stubborn Detour this episode.

The Snowboarders Andy and Tommy have proven themselves to be the ones to beat so far. At first this may seem surprising, given their happy-go-lucky attitude (read: high) but you need to remember:

1)      They are professional athletes

2)      They thrive on competition

3)      They keep a level head and have a good attitude

4)      They work extremely well together

5)      They are good at everything.

This is a formula for success in The Amazing Race.

At 8:17am the first team, Andy and Tommy, left Indonesia for Phuket, Thailand. Shortly behind them were Laurence and Zac and both teams booked their tickets to Thailand and immediately moved from the front of the pack to last place. This is because they booked flights that came in an hour after the flight the six other teams. It wasn’t the best flight planning on their part.

Upon arrival in Phuket (everybody pronounced it differently, fyi: it’s pronounced poo-KET) the teams jumped into a high speed taxi race ending at a beach and dock…that wasn’t open because it was the middle of the night. So all the teams had to camp out until the morning, when the dock opened and the Detour commenced.

It’s not news that Thailand is amazingly beautiful, and even after a night of sleeping outside in front of a gate, the teams seemed stoked to be there. For the next challenge they all take their own speedboats across the ocean to one of the many picturesque islands. Jennifer of Team Siblings manages to embarrass herself by saying “We’re the king of the world!” on the boat. Ex-NFL player Marcus LOVES being on the boat. I’ve never seen anybody enjoy being on the show as much as he does.

Once they arrive at the island the teams have to decide which Detour to take. Either they have to set up beach chairs and umbrellas for a beach club or construct a coral nursery and set it up out in the ocean. Only three teams opt for the easy sounding chairs and umbrellas and the rest try to save the coral reefs. By the end of the Detour only two teams successfully complete the coral reef challenge. The Snowboarders, because like I said they can do anything, and the Sibs. The coral “nursery” was made out of  blue PVC pipes that are as stable as a Jenga tower on a roller coaster. After they build the nursery the teams had to transport it by kayak out into the ocean to a buoy. They then had to place it underwater while withstanding a very strong current. The Snowboarders are also surfers (of course they are) and finished this with ease.

Marcus has a horrible time trying to plant that nursery underwater and says that he’s “never been so tired” which is crazy talk for someone who has played football for most of his life. He and Amani and the rest of the teams floating out in the water decide to scrap it and set up some beach chairs instead.

The Wonder twins, Liz and Marie, who have been trying to set up the chairs and umbrellas this entire time are struggling hard at it.  A strong wind rips out one of the umbrellas and hits one of the twins in the head. The tears start to flow, as does the bickering. At some point every team struggles with this challenge, most of the problems stem from trying to keep the umbrellas up. But the Wonder Twins seem to get the worst of it, as every team that showed up after them finish the task before they do.

The other teams that had at least one guy in them and fared better in the Detour. Engaged couple Ernie and Cindy, dating couple Jeremy and Sandy, and Laurence and Zac all eventually finish the task. Pa and Ma are one of the last to finish, mostly because Bill does all the work. It seems like Bill does everything for the team, and I am starting to wonder what Cathi actually contributes.

After the Detour the teams get back in their speedboats and, using a compass and a Goonies inspired amulet, have to find two islands that match the cutout silhouettes in the amulet. Once there, they grab a clue that directs them to another island. This clue is along the same lines of the new kind they’ve been giving to make the show more challenging for the teams and more fun for us to watch. The only team that really has problems is Ernie and Cindy, because they don’t understand what a compass is for and head off in the wrong direction.

Andy and Tommy kill this leg of the race and they are the first to arrive at the third island of this race. The Roadblock requires that one of them rock climb up the side of a cliff to grab the next clue from a bird’s nest. Andy goes up and down in seconds, and they never see another team for the rest of the race as they head for the Pitstop.

Other contestants, like Jennifer and Amani, are surprisingly good at rock climbing, especially since they’ve never done it before. Bill does it, of course, while Cathi cutely remarks how she’s liking the view from down below. Bill then refers to her as an “old woman.” I don’t get old people flirting. After Zac climbs the rock face and snatches the clue, he and his dad Laurence, both of whom have sailed around the world, manage to get their boat lost on the way to the Pit Stop.

In the words of Phil, “The floating village Ko Pan Yi is the Pitstop for this leg of the race,” and Phil waits on a floating soccer field. I can only imagine how many soccer balls have been lost to the sea.  Andy and Tommy are the first to arrive and earn $5,000 each. Then Jennifer and Justin, Jeremy and Sandy, Laurence and Zac, followed by Ernie and Cindy. Amani and Marcus decide to take an accidental tour of Ko Pan Yi, and arrive just before Bill and Cathi. The wonder twins Liz and Marie, who seemed to spend hours setting up beach chairs, came in last but like I said, it’s a non-elimination round.  So the cute blonds get to stay for at least one more episode.

Best quotes from the episode:

Tommy: (about Andy) “He’s like a little monkey”

Marcus: (said constantly and repeatedly) “I’m going crazy!!”

Laurence: (When asked by his son if he has ever been to Thailand) “I don’t know, I don’t think so.”

My question is, who’s gonna beat the Snowboarders?

Season 19, Episode 4 “This is Going to be a Fine Mess” (original airdate October 16, 2011)

The Amazing Race airs Sunday nights at 8/7c on CBS

Images courtesy of CBS Broadcasting.

Dexter Review: When in Doubt, Use Goggle

Last night’s episode of Dexter taught me that meeting your idol is probably not a good idea. It could crush all that nostalgia you feel for him/her, even if he/she happens to be a retired serial killer with a penchant for dental trophies.

This week Dexter (Michael C. Hall) realizes the body of a hooker, with signs of post-mortem trauma to one tooth, might have a connection to his teenage idol the Tooth Fairy, a serial killer who terrorized the Northwest years ago. He recollects following the Tooth Fairy’s exploits with Harry (James Remar), even recalling the scrapbook he kept of news clippings in high school. Dexter determines the killer would be over 70 today and sets his sights on a retirement home tenant named Kenny (guest star Ronny Cox), who fits the time description. He starts off playing golf with him and when he takes Kenny to run errands the next day, tracks Kenny to a storage unit where he finds a trophy box of teeth, confirming his suspicions.

Dexter gets a little disturbed realizing the connections between Kenny and himself. Kenny was abandoned by his son and has spent decades alone, unable to kill anymore, and only lashed out at the hooker in Miami out of boredom. Kenny catches on to Dexter after “goggling” his fake name and pulling a gun on him. In the end, Dex makes the decision to keep his identity safe from his family and smothers him, making it look like Kenny died of a heart attack in his room, then dumps his trophies into the ocean.

Elsewhere in the department, odd new intern Ryan (Brea Grant) spins heads when she turns down Quinn’s (Desmond Harrington) advances, agrees to go out with Masuka (C.S. Lee) and takes an eerily close interest in the Ice Truck Killer case, getting Masuka to show her some of the vaulted evidence. Much to LaGuerta’s dismay, Deb (Jennifer Carpenter) decides to ignore her suggestion on who to hire as her replacement as detective. Rather than going local, she opts for Mike Anderson (guest star Billy Brown), a decorated homicide officer from Chicago. Things get off to a rocky start when he arrives and refuses to believe she’s the Lieutenant, asking her to get him a cup of coffee.

Meanwhile, creeper duo Travis (special guest star Colin Hanks) and Geller (special guest star Edward James Olmos) keep the jogger from last week chained to the floor in their bizarre makeshift chapel. Geller decorates a mannequin head while lecturing Travis that his victims are only going to tell him what he wants to hear. Travis tells the jogger he needs to ask God for forgiveness for his sins. The jogger breaks free but is stopped, of all things, by a horse in the building. His fate is revealed in the final moments when two creatures, each half human parts and half mannequin, are tied to horses and left trotting down the Miami streets.

WTF is going on with those two? Inquiring minds, or at least mine, would really like an idea of what kind of mission they’re on and how they got together and what brought them to Miami. I mean, human puppets are a new kind of freaky I just wasn’t prepared for in those last minutes. Were you?

Dexter’s journey continues, as he made strides in his understanding of humanity, protecting Kenny’s family from finding out his hidden truth. But then, in those last minutes when he dropped his own trophy case and collapsed with slides of blood all around him, we’re left to wonder how together he really has it. For someone who lives in such a perfect sense of order, what does the loss of his trophies really mean to him?

A new curious detective, eager to prove himself after blowing it at the first meeting , is sure to make things difficult for Dex at some point this season. But will he be another Quinn? Also, Ryan taking off with that prosthetic hand after her confession of painting her nails the same color when she heard the news about it makes me think Miami Metro should probably institute some sort of personality test before taking on new hires. But still, an interesting twist for her character. I can’t help but wonder if she has any ties to Rudy.

 

Season 6, Episode 3 “Smokey and the Bandit” (Original Air date October 16, 2011)

Channel your dark passenger with Dexter, Sundays at 9 on Showtime

Images courtesy of Showtime

Community Review: Remedial Chaos Theory

From the Greendale Community College Course Catalog:

Class: Remedial Chaos Theory

Prerequisites: None

Description: Students will unravel the many mysteries of the universe by delving into the unique properties of time and space and how they interrelate with one another. Individual success will depend on which timeline each student creates upon the roll of a die. Pie eating and pot smoking are not mandatory, but optional. 3 Units

———–

Bottle episodes are usually lazy, bland, and too try-hard, second only in lameness to phoned in clip-show episodes. Yet somehow, the genius brain farm at Community found a way to not only reinvent the bottle episode by its very nature, but also craft one of the finest half hours of comedy in recent memory.

Troy (Donald Glover) and Abed (Danny Pudi) have found themselves a new apartment, one of the dorkiest and yet coolest bachelor pads on television. It’s like if the showrunners of The Big Bang Theory actually understood the nerds they were writing about and didn’t pander to their audience. The group meet up at the new place for a housewarming party, where they find Troy and Abed to be perfect hosts by “avoiding touchy topics like the negro problem” (their housewarming book was written in the 40s). They ultimately decide to play a game of Yahtzee when the apartment gate buzzer rings– pizza has arrived. No one wants to go down and get it, so Jeff (Joel McHale) elects that a Yahtzee die be rolled and if a person’s designated number turns up, they have to grab the food. “You know by doing this you’re creating six different timelines,” Abed warns, and so begins the splitting off of the bottle episode into six very different skewed alternate realities in which few good things happen, things go wrong fast, and only Abed has the foresight to wonder about the other timelines.

So what good things happen? Jeff and Annie finally come to terms with their feelings and get their kiss on. Similarly, in another timeline, Britta and Troy connect on a deeper level in the bathroom next to a bowl of toilet olives (“It’s a classy party.”) and Pierce finds the humility to give Troy a housewarming gift. The badness, unfortunately, is born of all these events in their associated timelines. Jeff and Annie’s kiss reminds Annie of her dad, which rightly freaks Jeff out, Troy and Britta’s connection ceases to exist in any other timeline, and Pierce’s housewarming gift is a horrible looking troll figurine that haunted Troy while he stayed at Pierce’s place in previous seasons. And through it all, poor Britta is never able to sing “Roxanne” when she puts it on the stereo, resigning herself to the bathroom to smoke a joint. All of this pales to Troy’s timeline, in which he returns from getting the pizza to find Pierce shot in the leg and most of his apartment set on fire with the menacing troll figurine staring him down in the midst of it all.

Luckily, one of the few constants between the two timelines (other than Pierce’s retelling of a tryst he had with Eartha Kitt in an airplane bathroom) is Abed questioning how the other timelines branched and resolved themselves. Keeping this ball in the air returns us to the real world before entering a new timeline each time until Abed catches the die in mid-air, stopping the entire chain of events from unfolding. “Chaos dominates most of our lives. It won’t matter what will happen to us as long as we are accepting of each other’s flaws and virtues.” His mini monologue is actually poignant and astute, giving everyone perspective and making a stop-gap for all the less-than-ideal timelines than the earlier portion of the episode as explored to great effect. In this, the real timeline, Jeff gets the pizza, Pierce throws out his mean-spirited gift, and Britta gets to sing “Roxanne” creating the sweetest chain reaction of the episode – one in which everyone dances their ass off, quite happy to call each other friends.

Community has always been light years ahead of any other multi or single camera comedy on television and this week’s episode is a perfect manifestation of that. Show runner Dan Harmon gives his team the creative freedom to go outside the box of their world and in kind, deliver epic paintball wars, stop motion Christmases, and alternate realities. Often it seems like this show doesn’t get all the pomp and circumstance it deserves, but in a way it’s better that this show hovers just below critical mass. It’s how such a genius show like Buffy The Vampire Slayer was able to actually become genius and like that classic show, Community is well on its path to becoming a classic in its own right.

Season 3, Episode 4: “Remedial Chaos Theory” (originally aired October 13, 2011)

Hit the books with Community, Thursdays at 8/7c on NBC

Images courtesy of NBC

 

 

Grey’s Anatomy Review: Dr. Mom pays a visit

Last week’s episode was more proof that Grey’s Anatomy is one of the best shows around.  There are times when it’s a little too sappy and corny for my liking, but for the most part it’s consistently well-written and acted.  This high standard was reinforced with a great guest appearance from the wonderful Debbie Allen as Dr. Catherine Avery, renowned surgeon and mother of Jackson Avery.

The elder Dr. Avery presents a unique opportunity for Seattle Grace with a cutting edge surgery.  She reveals her patient, a young man named Ryan.  Ryan was fortunate to beat penile Cancer, but it left him without a penis.  Seattle Grace has the chance to make history as the first hospital to successfully perform a penis transplant.  The residents are chomping at the bit to be selected to assist with the procedure, and the winner will be chosen by skills lab performance.  Mark takes the lead because he views the procedure as one best suited for Plastics, though he thinks the patient should get a prosthetic penis instead.

The elder Avery is like most mothers: prying and doting.  Jackson (Jessie Williams)  sent Lexie out of town for a couple of days, in preparation for his mother’s visit. He didn’t want her to have to answer a thousand nosy questions. Catherine is a brilliant doctor but meddlesome mother.  Jackson tells the others that she has a problem respecting boundaries.  She also berates her son for his choice to work in Plastics with Mark instead of with Derek in Neurosurgery.

If Jackson wants his mother to respect his professional choices, he’s going to have to prove that he’s becoming a better surgeon.  He gets his chance during the transplant surgery.  He and Meredith (Ellen Pompeo) win the skills lab battle and are chosen fair and square, so there are no concerns of nepotism when Jackson assists his mother.  When  Meredith is called away from the surgery,  April fills in.  She later makes a critical error that threatens the transplant, and Jackson saves the day with a complicated procedure that he learned from Mark.  This pretty much shuts Catherine up and validates his choice to work in plastic surgery.

The most intense storyline involved Derek and Meredith.  They haven’t heard anything about Zola from the social worker, and Derek is getting anxious.  Meredith tells him to be patient, but things take a turn for the worse when Alex (Justin Chambers)  receives a page during the skills lab.  The page is for Zola, who has been admitted with seizures.  She has a high fever and a distended abdomen.  Alex wants to page Derek (Patrick Dempsey) and Meredith, but Arizona and the social worker tell him there’s no way he can do that.  It would be a breach of confidentiality and it could jeopardize the adoption, which is already on shaky ground.  Alex wrestles with the decision because he feels like he’s already ruined Meredith’s life once when he tattled on her, and he doesn’t want to mess up with her again.

Alex tells Cristina that Zola has been admitted and the two of them agree to tell Derek and Meredith.  Derek goes crazy and wants to intervene, but Meredith is the cooler head.  It takes Owen, Arizona and Meredith all to convince Derek to let Arizona handle it.  He fears that the shunt he implanted is causing a problem and so he’s the one that should fix it.  He will have to trust Arizona to heal Zola while he and Meredith wait.  This ordeal brings them closer together, although I’m sure they would have preferred different circumstances.  At the close of the episode they find out that Zola will be fine.  They run into their social worker while she waits for the elevator, and she can see from their faces that they’ve shed some tears.  She realizes that they knew about Zola but didn’t intervene.  Maybe that will be considered in their favor when a final custody determination is made.

This was another entertaining episode, and although last week was a nice change of pace, I’m glad to return to the regular format.  Although Mama Avery was nosy, she picked up on Mark’s residual feelings for Lexie when he attempted to tell her how lucky Jackson was to have her.  Is Mark still holding a torch for Lexie?  I’m sure that’s something that will resurface this season.  Stay tuned!

Season 8, Episode 4: Loss, Love, and Legacy (original air date October 13, 2011)

Grey’s Anatomy airs Thursdays at 9/8c on ABC.

Images courtesy of ABC and Richard Cartwright.

Jersey Shore Review: Situation Problems

When we last saw Snooki on Jersey Shore, she was having major relationship problems, and right now her relationship is about as sturdy as one-ply toilet paper.  She told Jionni the truth about her hook-up with Vinny.  He wants to be with Snooki but doesn’t know how he’ll get over what she did.  Snooki’s window of opportunity is cracked just a bit, and she should consider herself lucky.

Their time is winding down in Italy, and the gang looks forward to going home.  They’ve had a great time but they miss home.  If you watched the show last season, it’s no secret that Deena has always had a crush on Pauly.  Unfortunately it’s not mutual.  Pauly allegedly doesn’t want to hook up with Deena because it would ruin their friendship.  That sounds admirable, and I agree that it’s probably a bad idea because she would catch feelings, but that’s not the real reason.  Pauly just isn’t attracted to meatballs.  I think it’s nice that he doesn’t want to hurt her feelings, but I almost feel sorry for Deena.  I’m not saying that he should screw her out of pity, but it’s sad that she keeps getting shot down.

After causing trouble last week, Mike is on a roll.  He really thrives on being the center of conflict.  When they go out to a club as one of their last group outings, everyone is having a good time.  Everyone except Mike, who feels compelled to start imaginary beef with some people in the crowd.  The locals see the cameras for the show and antagonize the guys, but Mike really causes a scene.  When they go out for a second time, he does it again.  Ronnie makes it clear that if Mike gets into an altercation with someone, he’s not going to help him.  I think Mike really has issues.  Most people try to avoid conflict when then go out and would rather just have a good time.  I don’t know why he tries to be a tough guy.  His biggest opponent has been a wall, and the wall won the fight – so Mike needs to chill.

We saw how the house turned against Angelina and she realized it would be better if she quit the show.  It looks like the same thing could happen with Mike.  Last week he got a wine bottle thrown at his head.  This week it’s a spatula.  When Deena doesn’t contribute to Sunday dinner, Mike tells her to “be a woman,” cook, clean – do something.  He says that she never does anything.  I don’t think I’ve ever seen her cook or clean, so Mike might be right about this one.  Of course Deena is offended and starts yelling, and that’s when she hurls the spatula.

As the housemates contemplate their future time at the Jersey Shore house, Sammi realizes that she can’t be roommates with Mike anymore.  He’s a disruptive force in the house and has been identified as the root cause of a lot of the drama that takes place.  This season alone he’s had issues with Ronnie, Snooki, and Deena.  Sam and Ron started off tumultuously, but they have really mellowed out recently and seem to be content.  She and J Woww are even getting along very well, united in their exasperation with drunken Meatballs.  Sammi wants to keep the good vibes going when they move into the Jersey Shore house next season.  She wants to move downstairs but Vinny would prefer to keep the living arrangements the same.  He can’t break up the bromance he has going with Pauly.  I think Pauly and Vin really are like a couple!  It’s cute.

This was a decent episode, but I’m glad the season is drawing to a close.  I need to regenerate brain cells!

Season 4, Episode 11: “Situation Problems” (original air date October 13, 2011)

Jersey Shore airs Thursdays at 10/9c on MTV.

Images courtesy of MTV.

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