America’s Next Top Model All-Stars Review: The Pot Ledom Olympics

Only a few episodes and models remain on America’s Next Top Model: All-Stars. The ladies are in beautiful Greece for the remainder of the competition and despite the peaceful serenity of the deep blue oceans and stunning landscapes, the dramas are still flowing. Everyone seems to feel directly threatened by at least one of the other girls but Miss J. Alexander is about to make it all that much more complicated.

The first Tyra mail of the episode prepped them for meeting with the judges for a quick critique but what they found upon arrival was that they’d be judged by their peers. Their emotional, hostile, and insecure peers. While Miss J. played moderator, a round table of the competing girls judged each other’s walks, portfolios, and overall star quality. There was also a brief verbal critique at the end, which was all well and good, until J. insisted on asking each girl who they personally thought did not deserve to win the competition. That’s one way to incite some fireworks. I guess since most of the models are pretty down to Earth people, there was a need to spice it up a bit and find out which girl would crack under the criticism. To no one’s surprise, it was Angelea whose trail of eggshells were finally trampled on with the help of Dominique. While most of the girls played neutral and refused to name a co-model, Dominque took the plunge for everyone by naming Angelea as the weakest model due to her low self-esteem and lack of model maturity. Of course, a big hoopla commenced when Ang couldn’t take the fact that the “dumbass bitches” kept trying to “psychologize” her (I realize that’s a real word but it just sounded so silly at the time!) and in all actuality help her out with a little constructive criticism. What was supposed to be a mock casting process turned into an intervention for Angelea’s attitude. After a brief storming out to show everyone what she’s made of, Miss J. drug her back in for the final voting and challenge decision. With each models’ voting ballot accounted for, Laura was voted the girl with the best star quality and the challenge winner. Allison had a tough time with the announcement that she was voted the model with the weakest all-star qualities, considering she has had some of the best photos at panel and has even won a few challenges.

Although Laura was the winner, the whole group was treated to a VIP day out with one of Greece’s most popular socialites, and former model, Twylem Pyper. A yacht ride to a cove for a dip in the sea was just what everyone needed to break the tension from the day. The cruise was followed up by a sweaty romp in a local nightclub with multiple alcohol shots, courtesy of Twylem. Compared to motherly Tyra, Twylem is a bit like the girls “cool” aunt that sneaks them into clubs and introduces them to her crazy world. Not all of the models were game, though. It can be fun to dance all night but, after the twenty-second shot, a real lady knows when to call it quittin’ time.

For the final photo challenge, Nigel Barker had the honors of running the shoot. Paying homage to the 3,000 and some year old Olympics that originated in Greece, the models depicted various ancient Olympic sports scenes while still incorporating their inner fashion goddesses. While Dominique struggled to balance the lankiness of her javelin against herself, Allison awkwardly pretended her designer handbag was discus. Both were a little stiff at first but quickly fell into their grooves with some useable photos. Lisa was assigned the hurdles and who wouldn’t think that it was right up her alley? It was the perfect set up to see how she’d react, given that the judges couldn’t take another photo of her flailing her legs about. Keeping that in mind, Lisa tried to play it safe until Nigel stepped in with some advice on using everything to her advantage which finally made for some great photos. Laura had the shoot that the other girls had to be envious of. Her chosen sport was archery and with the bow’s angles and curves, it made it the perfect accessory for any model. Angelea, on the other hand, got handed the worst sport accessory for a model: the shot put. Nobody looks elegant while performing shot put, Angelea included. Nigel had to literally move her around and pose her like some sort of storefront mannequin.

The judging panel left me shocked with this episode’s final outcome. It wasn’t Laura’s best photo or Allison’s runner up photo that was startling, as we all know how well these two already do. It was the decision to send home Dominique over Angelea that felt absurd. Dominique, although producing some great shots week after week, hasn’t been memorable enough for the judges to feel as though they needed to keep her around. Fair enough. Angelea’s constant struggle with her background and defensiveness under pressure were much more alarming to me. Plus, her not so lovely photo was basically horrendous. I don’t dislike her by any means but I think she has some fight or flight issues that need to be ironed out and Team Tyra might not have the patience much longer to wait for that to happen.

Cycle 17, Episode 10: Exploring Greece (originally aired November 16, 2011)

Images courtesy of the Walter Sassard/The CW.