Bones Review: A Side of Southern Fried Intern

I have no idea if competitive eating is an actual thing, and to be honest I’m too afraid of what might return in the Google results to run a search.

Bones seems to ferret out these interesting scraps of the underbelly of American society, which, when they’re lucky, make for hilarious and compelling television.

This week, they’re lucky.

The victim is discovered thrown through the glass front of a terrarium, and even though the body is being eaten by hairless rats, the rather crotchety old landlady is unmoved. The habitat also housed a snake, which has gone missing, and the promise of finding it sends Booth scurrying for the door. But not before we find out he and Bones are having a little girl – a fact he finds out the same time as the audience because not only did she not ask him to come to the ultrasound, she didn’t call and give him the results in private.

This seems like forced awkward, even for Bones (Emily Deschanel). It doesn’t seem believable to me that any woman, even her, wouldn’t realize the father would like to know the sex of his child as soon as possible. For his part, Booth (David Boreanaz) is learning how to handle these “Bones Duh” moments with as much grace and patience as humanly possible, and he never gives up on trying to teach her what she’s done wrong. In this case he explains how he’s feeling and asks Bones to try putting herself in his shoes for the day. The first thing she suggests is sex, and Booth can tell right away he’s made a mistake.

A new intern finds his way to the lab, a young wunderkind from down South named Finn (Luke Kleintank). He may be a genius, but he also has a questionable past. The boy completed high school and college in juvenile detention, and Cam (Tamara Taylor) and her do-gooder self is determined to give him a second chance. District Attorney Caroline Julian (Patricia Belcher), who we’re seeing for the first time this season, doesn’t agree. She puts a bug in Cam’s ear about what having a felon on staff does to the integrity of the lab. While Cam initially stands up for Finn, after Caroline reveals his crime was assault against his stepfather – who later disappeared and was never found – she asks Angela to do some research of her own.

For his part, Finn impresses Bones with his abilities and charms Hodgins (T.J.Thyne) (after some early friction) and Angela (Michaela Conlin) with his easy self-confidence and Southern colloquialisms.

The snake is recovered inside the woman’s body cavity (ew), and Angela’s facial reconstruction provides her identity. In an initial overview of the victim’s sparse apartment, Sweets (John Francis Daley) concludes she likely used the space for prostitution. He and Booth have one of the best exchanges of the episode here:

Booth: “Do your Jedi thing.”

Sweets: “You know I like it when you call me a Jedi.”

Booth: “Most kids do.”

I chuckled for a good long while at that one. Poor Sweets.

At any rate it turned out he was wrong. The woman’s weasel of a husband tells them his wife – who could dislocate her jaw like a snake – had earned them plenty of money winning professional eating contests. You know, those things that I assumed only existed in frat houses where people compete to see how many pies or hot dogs they can stuff in their faces in a certain amount of time? Apparently it’s like, a sport now.

Booth and Bones take off to meet some of the victim Tina’s competitors. The competition they attend is just as disgusting as I expected it to be, but Booth really gets into it and Bones does too as she puts herself in his shoes and lets the adrenaline flow. They take the winner back for questioning, and in a great, gaseous interrogation scene, decide he’s not the murderer. Thanks to more brilliance from Finn, they also clear the husband because the killer has to weigh at least 300lbs.

Which, as you might imagine, doesn’t rule everyone out in a case where eating till you puke is a central theme.

At the lab, Finn walks in on Angela researching his past. When she asks him about what happened, he says it doesn’t matter what he says because people believe what they want. He leaves his lab coat behind and walks away, and I feel for the kid. It’s got to be hard, everyone thinking you got away with murdering your stepfather. Plus, he’s got heart and wit and I’d like to see him as a recurring member of the cast.

He returns later, apologizing and telling Bones that quitting seems like the coward’s way out. She does her Bones thing, which is to say she asks him directly whether or not his abusive stepfather spurred his interest in forensics, and also if Finn committed the murder.

He opens up to her direct questions with direct answers, and admits he had nothing to do with his stepfather’s disappearance. Cam welcomes him to the staff at the end of the episode, so I suppose he’s here to stay, at least for now.

The case is solved and, by the end of the night, Bones has walked in Booth’s shoes for long enough to realize she was wrong to exclude him from her doctor’s appointments. To make amends (after an actual apology, whoa) she pops in the DVD of the ultrasound and they watch it together.

After two weeks, this relationship thing they’ve got going is really working for me. They’ve got enough conflict to keep things interesting, and their cute factor is off the charts. This was another interesting and cleverly devised case, and the addition of a character like Finn should keep the rest of the lab on their toes. I’m not sure about how they had Hodgins’ character react to Finn, because he’s never seemed like the snobby type to me, but it played for some good comedy so I suppose we can look the other way.

I’d like to see more of Caroline, and where the heck is Daisy? Are her and Sweets still a thing or did I totally gloss over a season finale breakup? Some help would be appreciated from you other loyal viewers.

I’m excited at this point, and looking forward to more strong writing, acting, and emotional sharpshooting from the cast I fell in love with seven years ago.

Season 7, Episode 2 “The Hot Dog in the Competition” (original airdate November 10, 2011)

Bones airs Thursday nights at 8/7c on Fox.

Photos Courtesy of Patrick McElhenney and FOX