Glee Review: Lady Music Week

It’s taking me longer and longer to get into Glee even after a hiatus, which is never a good sign, but the show continues to make me smile and leave me with a sense of happiness and hope even amidst all the ridiculous, oft-sensational, drama. This week’s episode permitted Cory Monteith to gain back some of that much depleted screen time when Finn decided to hold Santana’s hand through coming out instead of a pushing her there, while concurrently allowing Santana to take one more forward step toward character depth and range of emotion.

We picked up shortly after the slap heard round the world with Mr. Schue, Shelby, Finn and Santana in Mr. Figgins’ office. Santana was threatened with a suspension, which would take her out of next week’s Sectionals competition and severely hurt the newly-formed Troubletones. Schue seemed to be spearheading the campaign. (As a teacher, he’s becoming meaner and harsher, no? First, Mercedes and now Santana. Remember during season one when he totally let Quinn slide on creating the Glist because of the whole pregnancy/low self-worth thing? What’s changed Schue? Has losing hardened him so?) But Finn stood up for Santana, claiming it was just a stage slap, and she never physically assaulted him. Maybe he did just want Sectionals to be a fair fight. Maybe he felt bad about antagonizing her over her lack of comfort in her own sexuality. Maybe he truly did believe that “when you hide part of who you are, you hide your awesomeness with it” and he had to try to save her from herself before she stopped attacking others and started turning her anger and hate inward. Either way, he blackmailed her into joining his big plan: get New Directions and The Troubletones together to sing songs by ladies about ladies and, at the same time, support Santana since the anti-lesbian campaign video was about to drop. Her secret was about to be officially out of the bag.

To kick off the joint glee club sharing, Kurt and Blaine sang a song that they adorably sing to each other in the car, “Perfect,” though Santana’s steely exterior remains intact. Puck took his turn with “I’m the Only One,” where he spent about five seconds directing his attention to Santana and even Quinn, but predominantly just made Shelby feel really awkward. Not the brightest crayon in the box; doing so tipped Quinn off that something was going on. Of course, he was smart enough to claim it was an ode to babysitting. In turn, she invited him over to her place for a movie without the actual movie watching. He shut her down, for the moment, noting she’s “kinda nuts, higher maintenance than Berry,” to their crazy history.

After telling Santana in the hallway that he’d never forgive himself if anything ever happened to her and he hadn’t done his all to help, Finn sang Greg Laswell’s beautiful, slowed-down version of “Girls Just Want to Have Fun,” sitting directly in front of Santana, eye-to-eye, and brought her to tears. I miss awesomely, charmingly sweet Finn. Santana was so moved that she even gave him a hug. These two haven’t had this much intimacy since she deflowered the boy. Finn proved that she had her back, and the ladies followed suit when some slimy student tried his best pick up line on her. “Girls like you are a challenge. You just need the right guy to straighten you out…I’m just trying to make her normal,” he’d said. It was the perfect segue into “I Kissed a Girl.” Guys like that would make me want to experiment myself! The energy of the performance encouraged Santana, who’d already came out to her parents without a worry, to share her true self with her abuela. Her grandmother wasn’t quite so forgiving, though. In fact, she was as mean as Santana described earlier in the season. Sure, she seemed all sweet at first, plying her grandbaby with home cooking, but the minute Santana confessed her secret, her abuela called her selfish for making her feel uncomfortable and told her that she wished she’d kept the secret and to get out of her home and never see her again. “You made your choice, and now I have made mine,” Abuela said.

Elsewhere Rachel had worried almost as much as Kurt about him winning the election against Pixy Stix-distributing Brittany. Didn’t you know that, according to George Washington, sugar helps your concentration? If he didn’t win, Kurt wouldn’t get into NYADA and Rachel would be in NYC without her “best gay.” I’m so thankful they made up prior to this episode because it gave us quintessential Rachel, always doing something wicked for the sweetest of reasons. This time, she overly stuffed the ballot box with Kurt-winning ballots. It was so clear to Figgins there had been some vote tampering that the principal was ready to suspend Kurt. To be fair, it was Kurt’s idea first. He already has JFK’s impeccable hairline, why not take on his “ends justify the means” mentality? His morals just wouldn’t allow him to do it; hers, on the other hand, just aren’t so steady. But with Finn’s advice she did admit to Figgins and the club what she did. Unfortunately, this also took her out of the Sectionals competition and put a nasty black mark on her permanent record.

Finally, following the last episode, Puck continued to show his sweet and protective side when Shelby inappropriately called him to the emergency room for support because Beth fell and hurt herself. Later, the two had sex, and afterwards, Shelby very appropriately freaks out on him and pushed him out the door and right over to Quinn’s parent-less place. Puck learned the hard way that angry sex is never a good idea. Quinn began to seduce him, and he mentioned that he didn’t have protection. She said that she didn’t care which compelled him to laugh, remembering their prior track record. Incredulously, she said they could get lucky again. Hold the phone! This girl really is crazy. If she can’t have Beth, she thinks she can just make another baby. If Puck won’t give it to her, there are 20 other guys in school ready to love her. Poor girl, and Puck saw it too.

“I let you down. We all did. You just spent a whole week helping Santana with a secret everybody already knows, and not one person took 10 seconds to help you, and you’re a freaking mess. You have been for three years, ever since I knocked you up,” he said. He reminded her that she didn’t need a guy or a baby to make her feel special, and that if anyone would get out of Lima, it would be her, to some place warm and glamorous like L.A., Miami or Toronto. He wasn’t about to go back down that path with Quinn, but he was okay with lying with her and holding her. The comfort made him feel close enough to share a secret. The Shelby secret?! We don’t know yet, but Quinn sure was giving her the evil eye when the glee clubs joined to hear Santana sing one last song, “Constant Craving.” Puck may be getting sweeter by the minute. He may have even acquired some Beautiful Mind-like math skills, but he’s certainly not getting any smarter.

For once in a long, long time, the theme was overt, clear and understandable. It fit seamlessly into the surrounding storylines, even if there wasn’t an explicit connection. Sure, the culmination of the student/congressional election or the Shelby-Puck-Quinn triangle didn’t have anything to do with Santana coming out or songs about ladies supporting/loving ladies, yet they both complimented the earnest and heartfelt central storyline. Kurt’s worry over losing the election and how it would affect his collegiate prospects was your typical teenage life event, while the student/teacher/ex and baby mama storyline is just so ridiculous it was utterly juicy. And then there’s Coach Beiste’s inability to express herself romantically which led to a battle with Sue over Cooter. (You know, Murphy loves to merge humor with dark struggle with the absurd.) If only Glee could find this balance more often, between spotlighting its large cast, meshing songs to a consistent thematic thread and managing so many different tonal levels, it’d be more than just a FOX cash cow that may or may not deserve its accolades.

THE SONGS
“Perfect” by Pink and performed by Kurt and Blaine B+
“I’m the Only One” by Melissa Etheridge and performed by Puck B
“Girls Just Want to Have Fun” cover by Greg Laswell and performed by Finn with New Directions guys A
“Jolene” by Dolly Parton and performed by Coach Beiste B+
“I Kissed a Girl” by Katy Perry and performed by Santana and Rachel with New Directions ladies and the Troubletones B+
“Constant Craving” by k.d. lang and performed by Santana and Shelby with Kurt A-

MEMORABLE MOMENTS

• “When I get really pissed, Santana gets taken over by my other evil personality. I call her Snicks….I’m kind of like the Incredible Hulk. You can’t blame me for anything Snicks does.” – Santana
• “I haven’t been this worried about a vote since Lambert versus Allen.” – Rachel
• Kurt: “I’m gonna lose unless I pull a JFK.”
  Rachel: “You’re gonna shoot Brittany?!?”
• “Why would someone assume I’m a friend of Ellen, just because I’m man-ish and I have short hair and I only wear track suits and I coach a girls’ sport and I married myself?” – Sue
• Blaine: “If you would stop being so defensive…”
  Santana: “I’m trying. But your hideous bowties are provoking me.”
• Beiste’s workout orgasm
• “Do you realize you’re basically forcing me out of the flannel closet?” – Santana
• Finn telling Santana that she was his first and therefore will always be special to him.
• Sue’s sexploitation of Cooter to prove to the people that she isn’t a lesbian. “If I wanna win this race, I need 20 cc’s of man. Stat!”
• “It’s a reporter from USA Today. The newspaper for people who can’t read.” – Sue
• Beiste’s second turn at center stage with “Jolene.” Country songs fit her perfectly.
• Burt’s election win! Hopefully, it doesn’t mean less of him.

Season 3, Episode 7: “I Kissed a Girl” (originally aired November 29, 2011)

Glee airs Tuesdays at 8 ET/PT on Fox.

Images by Adam Rose and FOX.