Glee Review: Playing Dirty

In last week’s episode of Glee — sorry I’m late, y’all, but better me than Rachel, right? — we get a rather entertaining look at local politics.

First, it turns out that Sue Sylvester excels at dirty politics.  This should come as a shock to no one, yet Kurt is still surprised that she has accused Burt Hummel of having a baboon heart.  His dad seems more upset when Sue intimates that he is married to a donkey.  What is it with Sue and the animal kingdom?

Meanwhile, in his own political run for McKinley’s student body president, Kurt’s playing it straight (politically speaking), and as a result, is getting slaughtered.  Britney is actually accusing him of being on Myspace, which has got to hurt.

In other matters, Puck’s doesn’t appear so interested in politics as he is in getting in Shelby’s pants. Given this story arc, I suppose it was inevitable that Puck would sing “Hot For Teacher” but that didn’t mean I didn’t enjoy it. I think it’s just a matter of time before Shelby is Pucked, and I hope that several episodes go by before their eventual scandalous affair is exposed, if for no other reason that I want to use Puck as a verb many, many more times. Also, I can’t help but feel that the thoroughly missed (by me, anyway) Lauren Zizes would approve of this relationship, and that makes me happy.

I really do wish Lauren were still around, because she could do a way better job of verbally bitch-slapping Santana than Finn is doing.  You see, Finn has taken it upon himself to defend the honor of New Directions against Santana’s war of the words.  He decides to challenge the Troubletones to a dodgeball fight, which New Directions – unsurprisingly – loose.  And to cap it off, the innocent Irish newbie Rory gets nailed in the nose after the game is called by the truly mean members of the Troubletones.  But it was an entertaining fight, with a mash-up of “Hit Me With Your Best Shot” and “One Way or Another” that worked both musically and thematically.

The dodgeball warfare went on unabated by either Will or Shelby, who naively believe that a mash-up contest between the two teams would be the exact kind of friendly competition that would put an end to the clubs fighting, which they suggest by doing a pretty nice “You and I” duet (because Glee cannot ignore a popular Lady Gaga song any better than it can a Katy Perry one).  At Finn’s behest, New Directions chose Hall & Oates as their inspiration, and perform a fun mash-up of “You Make My Dreams” and “I Can’t Go For That” with lots of curly perms and mustaches for emphasis.

Although Hall & Oates stayed together through some really questionable fashion choices, New Directions is crumbling.  Next to leave is Quinn, who has decided she needs to be as close to Shelby as possible, so she can gather the ammunition she needs to get Beth back.  But Puck’s foiled her plans.  He comes clean to Shelby about Quinn’s plan to get Beth removed by child protective services, and Shelby refuses to let Quinn in the Troubletones.  Shelby also accuses Quinn of being far too selfish to be a mother, saying that being a mother means “accepting the fact that you don’t matter anymore.”  Yup, that about sums it up — I think I saw my 3-month-old nod in agreement.   And Quinn is fast becoming Glee‘s Least Most Necessary Character, although I think Emma still has a substantial lead on her.

Back in the Mash-Up Competition, the Troubletones picked Adele as their inspiration.  Mercedes, as leader of the group, also says that Santana needs to cool it on the smack talk.  Santana agrees . . . before firing insult after insult at Finn in the hallway when she was supposedly going to apologize.  So Finn calls her out on the one thing that shuts her up — she’s, like, totally in the closet, and therefore, a big fat COWARD (and I totally agree).  Finn’s outing of her leads to a meeting between Santana, Will, Burt, and Sue, where they reveal to her a campaign commercial (which, hilariously, is on a video cassette – what year is it, 1998?) by one of Sue’s opponents which outs Santana as a lesbian to all of the world.  Santana is, understandably, upset.  And that leads to a really great mash-up of Adele’s “Rumor Has It” and “Someone Like You,” where the girls rock black full-skirt dresses, and hair swept to the side in ponytails, and Santana’s angry face upstages her singing voice.  The number is works (again, musically and thematically) and kicks New Directions’ Mash’s ass, in my opinion.  But when Santana sees Finn whisper something in Rachel’s ear, she loses it, believing him to be talking about her.  She flips out, and smacks him.

And, SCENE.

So what did you think?  And does anyone think that Kurt’s No Dodgeball campaign promise can really beat out Brittany’s Topless Tuesdays?  And is Rachel getting enough screen time?

For another Glee opinion, read “It Was A Monster Mash Off” by Inisia Lewis.

Season 3, Episode 6: “Mash Off” (originally aired November 15, 2011)

Glee airs Tuesdays at 8 ET/PT on Fox.

Images by Mike Yarish, Frank Micelotta and FOX.

The Real Housewives of Atlanta Review: Baby Mama Drama

The Walking Dead Review: Secrets, Secrets Are No Fun

The frustrating inconsistencies plaguing the second season of The Walking Dead have no doubt permeated throughout the zombie drama’s slipshod narrative and muddled attempts at poignant allegory, but hopeful fans remain faithful to the AMC hit as the looming mid-season finale generates buzz, if not desperate hope, for a redemptive twist. In the show’s defense, there’s only been a total of 12 episodes in its entire run thus far, but the ham-fisted focus on Lori’s pregnancy drama and continued lack of resolution on other waning plot elements have viewers’ patience wearing thin. Bright spots have included last week’s episode, the Daryl-centric “Chupacabra,” and the unfolding revelations regarding the Greene family and patriarch Hershel’s horde of barn dwellers. Sunday’s installment, the aptly titled “Secrets,” certainly picked up the pace and finally aired the bulk of the characters’ dirty laundry, but the writers’ tenuous efforts to craft the two groups of survivors as opposing ethical forces have unfortunately given way to rather sanctimonious drivel involving a thinly-veiled right-to-life debate at the forefront of all this undead hullaballoo.

Things begin with serious promise, however, as the episode’s prologue reveals an up-and-about Carl, proudly donning Rick’s sheriff hat and helping Lori feed the chickens. A lonesome-looking group of baby chicks prompts Carl to question the mother hen’s whereabouts, and openly theorize she’s likely “been eaten.” Lori looks startled at this rather matter-of-fact assumption, to which Carl shrugs and breezily quips, “Everything is food for something else.” Although true in a rather sterile, scientific sense, this bleak observation sets a tone for Lori to further contemplate bringing a new life into the post-apocalyptic ambiguity in which she’s already forced to watch her adolescent son grow up. Most 12-year-olds haven’t formed such succinct observations on nature, but Carl’s food for thought, so to speak, illustrates how this environment may be shaping his development compared to boys his age prior to the outbreak. Meanwhile, Patricia lurks rather suspiciously in the background, slithering off to an anonymous shed after gathering several hens, only to break their legs and dump them on the barn floor for the herd of zombies to gobble. Besides the nit-picky question of whether or not the undead even need to eat for survival purposes the way, say, chicken-eating humans do, the somber sequence elicits plenty of visceral reaction. Some sort of involuntary sound between a scream and a gasp erupted from me as Patricia snapped the chickens’ legs like stray twigs, but her solemn gaze illustrating feelings of both guilt and a strangely fulfilled sense of duty as she watched the zombies prey upon their meal quietly personified the issues of morality within the survivors’ respective coping mechanisms that the show continually tries to address, with varying degrees of success.

Glenn, ever the doormat, serves as this week’s requisite comic relief, as the burden of knowing not one, but two game-changing pieces of information proves unfortunate as he admits to being a terrible liar and then proves himself right. “I can’t even play poker,” he pleads to Maggie. “It’s too much like lying!” As the group plans shooting lessons with Professor Shane and more (yes, MORE) halfhearted searches for Sophia, Glenn silently hands out peaches with various unsuccessful attempts to avoid eye contact with anyone before mercifully blurting his knowledge to Dale in one exasperated breath. “There’s walkers in the barn and Lori’s pregnant,” he haplessly admits. Yeah, that’s a bit more efficient than the “You’re old…I mean, you know things,” opening line. Dale’s subsequent confrontation with Hershel is only slightly more covert as he casually brings up a fictitious long walk, oh, “by the barn,” to perk up the pithy doc’s ears. Subtle. The men’s conflicting opinions on what the walkers are, exactly, opens up a flood of opportunity to explore Hershel’s motivations and we get a big glimpse when he reveals that both his wife and stepson are among the hidden deadites. His earlier conversation with Rick about an eventual cure for the epidemic is fully realized as Hershel plainly states that he believes the undead are still people; our crew of bumbling squatters, of course, do not. “We don’t shoot sick people,” Hershel declares. Dale’s gaping stare seems to imply, “Well, what about dead ones?!”

Dale later finds himself at another stalemate with Lori when he spies her getting visibly nauseous at the smell of breakfast cooking and uses another relevant anecdote to help break the ice, this one assumingly true. He reflects how his wife had been pregnant once herself and had similar food aversions as Lori. Mrs. Dale, sadly, miscarried and never tried to conceive again, and Dale proceeds to use this story as a prodding metaphor to Lori’s predicament. She makes a valid case for being wary of bringing a baby into a world of such dark uncertainty and imminent danger, much like her contemplative thoughts during Carl’s convalescent plight. “Do you really believe this baby could grow up to be your age and die happy?” she spits. Dale gets another chance to practice his slack-jawed lack of response, but not before revealing that he’d suspected Lori and Shane’s affair all this time, prompting Lori to insist, rather delusionally, that the baby is Rick’s.

Elsewhere, the rest of the gang is at target practice led by Shane and Rick, and both Andrea and newest student Carl prove to be getting the knack of their weapons. Carl’s desire to learn his way around a gun, and his parents’ reluctant approval to do so, coincides with Lori’s observation that the youngsters won’t ever have the kind of childhood they were supposed to. “I still have a deep well of memories,” Lori tells Dale. “I remember joy … Carl, I think his well is already running dry.” Indeed, Carl’s declaration that he wants to help look for Sophia and “defend” his camp and, therefore, needs to learn marksmanship is a decidedly cutthroat and adult point of view, but the smile on his face as he nails his targets depict a still-present ability to have a childlike enjoyment of things. Andrea, however, is sashaying with a newfound sense of self-satisfaction when Shane and Rick note her repeated bullseyes and deem her ready for the “advanced class.” Given her incessant bedroom eyes at Shane throughout the episode I assume this is a frat-boy level metaphor, but it turns out there really is further instruction, this time involving Shane barking orders like a drill sergeant while Andrea struggles to hit a moving target. The pressure is nerve-wracking and pushes her over the edge when Shane brings up Amy as a motivational tactic, and Andrea storms off in a huff. Shane follows her in his car and unsuccessfully implores her to get in (I get she’s being defiant, but I swear these people forget there are zombies, well, EVERYWHERE), only stopping her when he offers to take her as his backup to a nearby housing development to look for Sophia.

The refreshing change of scenery helps add a humanizing element to the episode we haven’t felt in quite some time, as the abandoned homes still evoke a scant trace of the families that once lived there. Shane and Andrea snoop around and discover a garage disturbingly full of charred corpses, and no Sophia. “I don’t know how to tell Carol this was another dead end,” Andrea moans. Can someone at least tell the writers? A sudden herd of zombies plugs life into the scene as Andrea is forced to utilize her newly acquired skills. Shane deftly blasts walker after walker on their way back to the car, but Andrea panics and drops her clip. “Are you kidding me?!” she cries as Shane refuses to help her, insisting she calm down and do what she already knows how to. At the last minute she frantically plows a bullet through the head of the nearest zombie and immediately enters a zen-like zone, able to slow her perception of time and blow the heads off of every walker she sets her sights upon. The experience has her giddy with adrenaline and, caught up in the moment, decides Shane is ready for her, ahem, “advanced class” on the ride home. Hey-o! They return with the sheepish grins of high school kids and Dale uses his obvious jealousy as a reason to confront Shane about his questionable character. “I know what kind of man you are,” Dale seethes, bringing up both Shane’s vague recounting of the night Otis died and the time he threatened Rick. “You think I’d kill my best friend?” Shane retorts. “Then what do you think I’d do to a guy I don’t even like?” Dale, again, stares back open-mouthed, seemingly unable to ever get the last word despite involving himself in everyone’s business.

Back at the farm, Lori has enlisted Glenn to make another run to the pharmacy for more “personal” mystery items. Maggie accompanies him but is seething with resentment given his inability to keep her family’s secret, and their tense journey into town culminates in another debate about zombies’ rights. Glenn, like Dale, insists that the Greene’s haven’t been exposed to the kind of brutality that the others have seen and don’t understand the urgency of their survival tactics. While Maggie makes a poignant point when she says she still calls the walkers in the barn “Mom, Sean, Mr. and Mrs. Fisher, Lacey, Duncan…” it’s hard to forget her baseball-bat bludgeoning of Andrea’s attacker a mere several weeks ago. The sudden need to paint her as a naive pro-life stumper seems conflicting with the initial portrait viewers were painted. This transparent allusion is only rendered feebler when it’s revealed Lori had asked Glenn to get morning-after pills. Given the glaring lack of medical credibility behind this entire arc, I was shocked to learn a woman actually wrote this episode and expected viewers to believe Lori would consider this a viable option (they’re not called “weeks-after pills,” after all). A bit of credulity is restored, however (and I mean a bit), when Glenn rescues Maggie from a zombie inside the pharmacy and she finally experiences firsthand the threat he’d been talking about and gets shaken to the core. Just when I think this event has established Maggie’s character to bridge the fundamental discrepancies between the two groups, however, she takes her fear out on Lori upon returning to camp, unleashing a self-righteous diatribe involving the phrase “abortion pills.” Oh, brother. Her point about Glenn being the leader the group doesn’t know they have is valid, however, and I’m glad she mentioned how ludicrous it was to offer him up as bait for the well zombie two weeks ago. Time to stop passing out peaches, Glenn.

Lori’s dilemma is acute and serious in spite of her uncanny ability to avoid dealing with it, and I’m therefore thankful when Glenn asks her if she thinks the morning-after pills will even work. Okay, so someone does realize how stupid this idea is. Lori says it’s the only possible option she has given her circumstances, but Glenn then hands over a bottle of prenatal vitamins he swiped at the store, saying she certainly has a tough choice ahead, but she shouldn’t make it alone. Lori is thankful for Glenn’s thoughtfulness, but her desperation is palpable and she impulsively swallows a handful of the pills in a brief fit of hysteria before rushing off to puke them up seconds later. Rick, of course, strolls by and notices the empty boxes of pills and confronts his wife. Despite the rather inane setup, their scene together rings honest and true as they have a realistic, emotional discussion about the implications of this pregnancy and their opposing points of view regarding how to proceed. “Is there anything else I should know?” Rick pointedly asks, given the fact there seem to be a lot of secrets around here. Lori is silent and manages to timidly, miraculously whisper a three-word bomb: “Shane and I…” Rick’s reaction is even more surprising than Lori’s confession, as he calmly, regretfully admits he already knew. Of course he knows.

“Secrets” helped rid The Walking Dead of many of the extraneous plotlines weighing down the more important narrative elements this season has all but ignored, and the fact that most characters seem to now all possess the same information helps simplify the foundation for the show to delve into more crucial themes and riveting aspects of the story that fans have been waiting for. An inevitable showdown between the Greenes and Rick’s crew will certainly stem from the revelation about the barn zombies and who they are, and with Lori’s pregnancy out in the open the juxtaposing viewpoints will hopefully be rooted in more compelling developments than the debate over morning-after pills. Dale’s suspicions of Shane certainly don’t let him off the hook for Otis’ death, and Hershel deeming Rick “a man of conscience” seems to hint at the diverging paths being laid out for the two leads. With a mid-season finale already upon us, it’s hard not to wonder what kind of cliffhanger the series has in store. Sophia’s certainly been missing for quite some time.

What are your predictions for next week’s pseudo-finale? How will the rest of the group react to the barn zombies? Will Sophia be found? Will Rick and Shane’s friendship ever be the same? In light of Rick’s genuine surprise at Lori’s pregnancy, what do you now think Jenner whispered in his ear at the CDC? Is Daryl going to appear for more than thirty seconds? How’s T-Dog’s arm? Post your thoughts in the comment section below!

Season 2, Episode 6: Secrets (original air date November 20, 2011)

The Walking Dead airs Sunday nights at 9/8c on AMC.

Images courtesy of Bob Mahoney and AMC.

Covert Affairs Q&A: A Chat With Sendhil Ramamurthy

It’s down to the wire on season two of Covert Affairs, and so far this we’ve watched with great curiosity to see what Jai Wilcox, played by Sendhil Ramamurthy, has planned for his career.

One of Jai’s big story arcs this season has been a promotion to the Office of Special Projects through less-than-honest methods, perhaps finally accepting the fact that he is his father’s son. In a conference call with reporters, Ramamurthy gave more insight into the obstacles his character will face as we head into the final three episodes of the season and, of course, how he stays in such great shape (admit it ladies, you can’t help but swoon).

Now that Jai is out of the DPD, the question remains how he’ll stay relevant to the story and the protagonist, Annie Walker. Ramamurthy said he had the same thought, but Jai’s figuring out his new position will be a focal point towards the end of the season.

“Jai’s not quite sure what he’s supposed to be doing, and then Henry Wilcox [his dad] actually will figure into informing him about what this is and put him on a path that he kind of goes on which all comes to a head in the final episode,” he explained. “You’ll see what the Office of Special Projects is and then what Jai is going to do about that…. without wanting to give too much away. I know that was pretty broad!”

We always know when Jai’s father, Henry (Gregory Itzen), shows up on screen that the story’s about to get very interesting; perhaps even scandalous. There’s still a lot to learn about the mysterious Wilcox family, an influential name in the CIA, and it’s nice to hear that Ramamurthy puts a lot of time preparing for the “family-oriented” scenes with Itzen.

“I learn a lot when I work with [Itzen],” he said. “We go through all the scenes beforehand. We always meet for dinner when he comes into town. When he flies up to Toronto, we meet up usually the night before – maybe two nights before we shoot our scenes and we go through them all and we just talk through them all.”

He continues, describing the tense relationship between Jai and Henry: “The relationship is an adversarial relationship. They don’t have this lovey dovey father-son relationship, and I would kind of be surprised if it ever becomes like that. I think that so much damage has been done, just like during his childhood, and I’m still very curious to see what happened with Jai’s mom. There’s a lot of baggage there, and I think there’s a lot of hurt there on Jai’s part.”

But moving on from such complex matters, there’s also the issue of Ramamurthy’s dashing good looks. How has Annie Walker (portrayed by Piper Perabo) been able to resist him?! So far, there’s been no love interest for Jai, but probably because he’s been too busy trying to gain power. You won’t hear any complaints from Ramamurthy, though, who claims he doesn’t particularly enjoying taking off his shirt, but he does have a great way for keeping fit:

“I’ve always been a really athletic guy. You know, I was competitive tennis player. I don’t go in and do weights in the gym but I do a lot of Pilates and stuff like that and yoga and I play a lot of tennis,” said Ramamurthy. “I travel everywhere with my tennis rackets and any chance I get, I get onto the tennis court. So I’ve always been a very active person but I certainly – put it this way, I wasn’t there requesting to have a scene where I take my shirt off that’s for sure.”

Fair enough. So if there won’t be an abundance of shirtless scenes in season three, what else might we expect from Jai Wilcox?

“I think that next season what they have planned is to bring Jai more into the fold with Annie because this season Jai was very much kind of on his own show a little bit,” he said. “At the end of the day, the show’s about Annie Walker. It’s not about Jai Wilcox or Auggie Anderson or Arthur Campbell, Joan Campbell. It’s about Annie Walker. So at some point, Jai will have to be brought back into the fold with Annie and I’m very curious to see how that’s done because I think that the one constant has been that there’s clearly an affection for Annie with Jai.”

Covert Affairs airs Tuesday at 10/9c on USA Network.

Images courtesy of USA Network.

LG DoublePlay-ing The AMAs by Ference Blackstone

This post brought to you by LG DoublePlay™. All opinions are 100% mine.

As most of you know, hating is what I do; on the Jone Dome Podcast, (available at iTunes) in my articles on Poptimal.com, and of course in the Twitter-sphere.  I consider myself the most uppity pop culture hater east of the Mississippi and love to straddle the line between good taste and good snark. 

That is why I was so surprised Poptimal.com (@Poptimal) asked me to tweet the 2011 American Music Awards using the new LG DoublePlay™.   I must admit that at first I went all “Occupy LG” on Poptimal management.  But much like what even the most steadfast OWS supporter would do, they gave me a job and so I gave up the fight.  (But if I ever sell my soul like Jennifer Lopez did to Fiat, you have my permission to punch big mouth on sight) (Follow me on Twitter)

I use social media constantly and am perpetually texting every minute of the day to keep up with the rest of the Poptimal.com writers all over the country.  I am that relative that will annoy the crap out of you this Thanksgiving because he has a drumstick in one hand and a smart phone in the other, with cranberry sauce smeared across the screen.

Let’s cut to the chase.  Two different things stuck out in my mind about the LG DoublePlay™    from last night’s AMA coverage.

1.     The 2 Screens Made It Easy To Tweet and Find Celebrity Twitter Names At The Same Time

When you slide the phone open you see that the DoublePlay™ has two screens – a 3.5” main screen and at 2” subscreen.  This allowed me to perform two tasks at once.  Because the AMA was fast paced with celebrity presenters and performers running on and off stage, I needed to make sure that I had the celebrity’s twitter name to mention in my tweet.  I was able to go back in forth between each screen with ease.  It is like having two browsers open on a laptop. 

For instance, when Christina Aguilera came on stage, I wanted to tweet using my Hootsuite account:

“What Happened? Someone ate Christina Aguilera & is now performing in her dress. #AMAs @Poptimal”

But, I wanted to make sure that Christina and her fans saw it so was able to quickly text my fellow writer to find her Twitter name on the smaller screen.  That way my post came out:

“What Happened? Someone ate @TheRealXtina & is now performing in her dress. #AMAs @Poptimal” 

The whole thing took 1 min total, and my tweet-hating increased by 10 fold.

2.     My Sausage-Like Phalanges Didn’t Keep Me From Typing

As most of you know from the podcast, I have fatman fingers so thank God for the full slide-out QWERTY keyboard and Swype® for easy text input.  Now, I will complain that the autocorrect feature still sucks, but that is true with all cell phones.  But, it leads to some funny tweets, like this one:

  

In short, if you are as active on social media as I am, the LG DoublePlay™ is a good bet.  Go and check it out.

Now, here is some technical mumbo jumbo for you Frackers!

• The LG DoublePlay™ also comes with a 5-megapixel camera with LED flash and 720p HD video recorder, allowing users to capture and share pictures and videos via messaging, email or Facebook
• The device also offers multiple messaging options, including Cloud Text™ and Group Text™, giving users the ability to send and receive texts from a PC or tablet or create group chats on-the-go for faster, more efficient content sharing.
• LG DoublePlay™ features Android™ 2.3 (Gingerbread) with access to Android Market™ and delivers complete user customization with seven home screens and up to nine touchscreen shortcuts for one-touch navigation.

The Amazing Race Review: A Whole Lot Of Muscles In Brussels

Because of this episode of The Amazing Race, we now know what the racers look like naked. I am not exaggerating.

Okay, I am a little bit, but still. Participating in a body building contest in skimpy bathing suits is a little humiliating. That is except for the fact that all of the contestants are in great shape, so that makes it a little less humiliating, but that’s beside the point. Point is, they were pretty much naked.

As the show is nears the end it is definitely driving out of the rut in from earlier this season, and the oiled-up muscle contest was the highlight in a dizzyingly fun-filled show.

Five teams remain at the start of this race, and I am still ok with any of them winning the Race. They are all likeable people and they all have run a good race so far and deserve to win. This leg starts out in Copenhagen, Denmark and the teams first have to find a statue of Hans Christian Andersen (who, in my head, is also Danny Kaye). When they find it, one team member will need to memorize a short poem that is written on the base of the statue and bike to a theater where, on stage, they then have to recite the poem.  A drama critic will be there, for some reason dressed like a Danish Abraham Lincoln, and he’ll judge if they recited it dramatically enough and give them the next clue. If he doesn’t like the performance he can send them back to the statue and try it again.

The critic wasn’t that picky with the performances. If they did the minimal arm flailing and pacing around on stage he gave up the clue, but Tommy and Sandy both read the poem as if it was a 4^th grade recital and had to do the whole thing over.

Cindy and Ernie were the first team to start and the first team to complete the Hans Christian Anderson task and get the clue that tells them to go to Legoland.

There’s a Legoland in Denmark, who knew?

When they get there, the teams have to assemble a Lego puzzle while on a kiddie ride they call a “pirate carousel.”  Back in the states we would call it Disneyland’s spinning tea cups, which is the WORST. I got sick just watching the teams spin and assemble the puzzle while trying not to vomit on themselves.

Ernie & Cindy are again the first team to get to the toy brick funland and finish the task. The puzzle they completed is a picture clue that tells them to drive to a train station in Hamburg, Germany. There they will catch a train to Cologne and transfer on to another train to Brussels, Belgium.  Three countries in one day, The Amazing Race is kicking it up a notch!

When  Jeremy & Sandy go for a spin on the ride they end up losing one of the Lego pieces as it flew out of the spinning barrel and they have to do it all again from scratch. Despite lacking drama skills Andy & Tommy are really good at this particular task as Andy was a self described  “Legomaniac” and they repeatedly say “spin to win!”

Ernie & Cindy get to the Hamburg train station with a huge lead and are disappointed to find out that everyone will be on the same train later that night. Cindy unknowingly drops their connecting tickets shortly after purchasing them. Somehow, like always, the camera is able to catch this happen. Whenever someone loses something, like a clue, passport or tickets, the camera man is able to catch the exact moment they lose it. It’s kind of eerie how the cameramen are able to do that.  When they finally realize the tickets are gone and they can’t afford new ones, Ernie and Cindy get on the train convinced that they’ll be stuck in Cologne and that the race is over. Cindy is visibly and upset and freaking out about the situation and Ernie is cool as a Copenhagen cucumber.

We learn this episode that Cindy is a first generation American and that her parents immigrated from China. With this new personal revelation coupled with their huge blunder, you would think that the race for the engaged couple is very much over. Think again matey.  They get on the train with the rest of the teams (and camera crews) to Brussels at Cologne anyways and no one comes by to check their tickets.  You can travel for free between countries in Europe, who knew?

Once in Brussels, the teams quickly find themselves wearing tiny neon orange bathing suits and slathering on a fake tanning oils so they can perform a bodybuilder routine in front of three gigantic bodybuilders, a small rowdy audience, and millions upon millions of viewers. The “muscles from Brussels,” Jean-Claude Van Damme, was a bodybuilding competitor once and now show is now making the teams do it. I didn’t really get the connection either, but I also didn’t care because it was pretty funny seeing them in the tiny (I mean tiny) bikinis and speedos.

Personal note: I recently read Charlotte Brontë’s Villette and she didn’t have anything nice to say about Belgium, Brussels- or Belgians for that matter.  It’s not a good book, I don’t recommend it. ANYWAY in classic Amazing Race style it makes the city look fantastic and I am now putting it on my “Places I Need To Go To” list. So, you can go to hell, Charlotte Brontë.

The whole bodybuilding performance is hilarious and ridiculous with practically naked team members foolishly grinning and flexing while Belgian meatheads gave arbitrary scores to their poses.  This is what reality TV was invented for!

No one is in embarrassing shape, which makes me feel bad about myself. The sixty-somethings Bill and Cathi are in AMAZING shape, which makes me feel even worse. It takes most teams a couple tries to get a high enough score to move on. Marcus and Amani get it done in their first try, as do Sandy and Jeremy who seemed to get by on their good looks alone. In Brussels it pays to be sexy. They get a clue that tells them to find a gazebo in a city park to check-in at the Pit Stop.

Ernie & Cindy get it on their second try while Andy & Tommy just can’t seem to make the judges happy after their second attempt.  Amani & Marcus are the first to arrive at the Pit Stop and Phil (surrounded with a horn section playing a very unharmonious form of jazz) checks them in, proceeds to tell them about the trip to Panama they’ve won from Travelocity and then hits them with a stunner. “The next leg of the racing is starting NOW!” Phil says and then he takes a clue from his jacket and hands it over to a shocked Marcus and Amani. Cue credits.

Congratulations Amazing Race, you got me. It was the best ending yet. Ernie & Cindy and Jeremy & Sandy are still on their way to the Pit Stop. Bill & Cathi and Andy & Tommy still need to finish the bodybuilding task, while Marcus & Amani are dumbstruck in a Belgian gazebo.  Awesome.  Awesome. Awesome.

Wait! Is a team getting eliminated this leg or not? WE DON”T KNOW! I guess we have to wait until next week.  Man, I love this show.

Quotes of the Episode:

Marcus; (Complaining about the size of the beds in the train from Hamburg) “I hope my coffin is bigger than this.”

Bill: (Musing to himself while driving) “Ice Cream-I haven’t had any of that in a while.” –I have no idea why he said this or why they showed it, but it made me laugh.

For another opinion on this episode, read “It’s Bikini Time” by Keshaunta Moton.

Season 19, Episode 9 “It’s Speedo Time” (original airdate November 20, 2011)

The Amazing Race airs Sunday nights at 8/7c on CBS

Images courtesy of Robert Voets and CBS Broadcasting.

Dexter Review: Saw It Coming

Travis, Travis, Travis. What have I warned you about this entire season? Of course, I’m talking about this week’s latest “whore” victim being Doomsday Killer accomplice Travis’ sister Lisa. Gellar made a not-so-covert threat to Travis early in this episode outside his sister’s home that he’s still looking for a victim for his latest scene, something involving a chair and crocodile, and that Lisa might just fit the bill. Travis tries to convince her to go out of town, keeping her in the dark about the actual reasons, but she can’t. Even Dexter tries to lend a hand, offering to help him evade the authorities if he gives up Gellar’s location. But, Travis wants to make sure his sister is safe first…just with no apparent sense of urgency. And so, with a shovel to the head, Gellar removes him from the equation…temporarily.

It’s not until later in the episode, after Travis avoids being interviewed by Deb as a potential suspect at Lisa’s house, that Dexter and the Miami Metro team come across the crocodile crime scene. Masuka finds Deb’s card pinned to the body, which makes her feel somewhat culpable in the act for going after Travis. Travis wakes up in chains at Gellar’s place and is informed of what’s happened to his sister. Gellar lets him know that after talking to the police, there wasn’t any choice left. He leaves Travis to contemplate things. When he returns, he burns Travis in some sort of weird purification gesture, but they’re interrupted by Dexter’s arrival, whom Gellar glimpses before fleeing the scene.

As for our anti-hero, Dex gets heat from Deb early on for taking advantage of her leadership and disappearing for several days. She later learns that he went to Nebraska and is upset he reached out to Trinity’s son Jonah rather than to her. The department is working on the death of a call girl; the crime scene looks as though someone tried to revive her after an OD and then rubbed the body clean. LaGuerta takes an interest in it, seemingly to usurp Deb’s authority again, causing Deb to put a rush on the blood work. This seems like it may not be so simple a situation though. Honestly, I feel like I’m looking for hidden motives with everyone on this show lately. Dexter’s made me slightly paranoid.

After finding the latest Doomsday crime scene, the team is left without a bible passage, which Dexter takes as a sign Travis wasn’t involved. Instead, they get the name of an old priest, who Louis tracks down to an elder care facility. Dexter goes to visit and has a very existential religious moment where the priest absolves him of his sins. One of the caretakers eventually finds them and tells Dexter the priest used to run an old church that’s abandoned now, which leads him right to Gellar’s base of operations, and a new ally in Travis.

Okay, seriously Quinn, it’s time for you to put on some grown-up pants and get over it. All of it. Deb. Your attitude issues. This “I want to be the bad boy” thing you have going on. And stop dragging other people, even slight creepers like Masuka down with you. I’m glad to see Angel and Jamie have more to do than stand around like living props in assorted scenes, but something about this Louis storyline seems a little forced…like it doesn’t need to be there yet has to be at the same time, to justify the characters.

A serious highlight for me this week was Deb meeting with her therapist. She complains how she feels like everything’s one-sided with Dexter, before her therapist tells her maybe she’s the problem…because she totally is. It helped build a little empathy for her later when she reached out with dinner and Dexter rushed off anyway. But, still, I’m glad someone called her on her self-involved tendencies. Honestly, I don’t even think when Trinity killed Rita that she spent that much time trying to make sure Dexter was surviving it.

Thankfully, the full story of the season appears to have crested the hill and is moving full-force towards what I’m sure will be a fantastic season finale. The bonus, dearly, disturbed Dexter fans, is that the powers-that-be at Showtime have negotiated deals to carry the series for two additional, and likely final, seasons.

Season 6, Episode 8: “Sins of Omission” (Original Airdate November 22, 2011)

Channel your dark passenger with Dexter, Sundays at 9 on Showtime

Images courtesy of Showtime

Happy Feet 2: Don’t Count on the Original

I suppose if Happy Feet Two was named anything else, it wouldn’t be such a disappointment. I mean, you hear about a movie of dancing penguins and you expect at the very least, penguins pirouetting back and forth, looking all cute and cuddly and irresistible. And for the most part, the penguins are cuddly and all that. The problem is, they’re not dancing. And that’s a total letdown that the new movie, Happy Feet Two can’t quite recover from.

A follow-up to the massively successful 2006 film Happy Feet, Happy Feet Two catches up with our favorite dancing, music loving penguins. This time, the story revolves around Erik, the son of last feature’s protagonist Mumble (voiced by Elijah Wood). In the singing/dancing colony of the Emperor Penguins, Erik is the proverbial odd man out. He doesn’t sing, he can’t dance, and his one attempt at trying to fit in leaves him upside down, embarrassed and with poop on his face. With the help of his father’s best fried Ramon (Robin Williams), a randy outcast frustrated by a lack of loving, Erik decides the only way to fix his problems is to run away.

Accompanied by his two best friends Boadicea and Atticus, Erik follows Ramon in the search for greener pastures. Their search leads them to Ramon’s homeland where immediately Erik is dazzled by an amazing penguin called Sven who has the very important distinction of being the only penguin who can fly. Mumble finally catches up with his offspring, and drags the young penguins back home only to find that the rest of their family have been trapped by a collapsing iceberg. Mumble must call together all the animals of the ice to work together to rescue their loved ones.

The first hour of Happy Feet Two is a good film. It has a nice song to dance ratio, interesting characters and a little road trip to square it off. It’s nice, concise and by far one of the more interesting storylines of the many, many plots running erstwhile through this film. A quick rundown of the plots is this: Mumble’s relationship with his son, how global warming and the melting of the polar icecaps affects wildlife, Erik’s struggle with finding his identity, Ramon’s quest for a little love, the importance of interspecies cooperation, and finding and struggling against your place in the food chain. Only one of these storylines is properly served and by some quaint twist of fate that storyline is the one that has absolutely zero connection with the majority of the events in Two. There is simply not enough time to address all of the issues that this film brings up, and as a result none of these storylines have the proper impact that they ought.

The sole exception to this is the storyline involving two unsatisfied krill who decide to leave their pack and strike out on their own. Voiced by Matt Damon and Brad Pitt, Bill and Will the Krill (respectively) are unsatisfied with their position at the bottom of the food chain and break away to make their mark on the world by chewing on “something that has a face.” And if Will’s body came just a fraction closer to matching the might of his will, the world would indeed be in a bit of trouble as the fearless Will goes about attacking his natural enemies. And let’s not forget about Bill, Will’s codependent best friend who’s as timid and unassuming as Will is not. Pitt and Damon’s onscreen banter provides one of the highlights of the film, out flashing even the penguins which is good for the krill, bad for the movie.

Aside from the beginning and the very end, there really isn’t much dancing to be had in Happy Feet Two. This is probably in deference to young Erik’s particular skills, but the film is adversely affected because of that. It wasn’t nearly as engaging and interactive as it could have been. The characters didn’t feel as inviting as they could have, but this can be blamed partly on the dancing but mostly on the multiple storylines. Too many competing events detract from the main characters to such an extent that even young Erik’s revelation of his skill was not moving as much as it was eye roll worthy.

Happy Feet Two stars Wood reprising his role as Mumble, Pink (Alicia Moore) takes the role of Gloria, Erik’s mom. Ava Acres is young Eric, rounding out the trio with Meibh Campbell and Lil P-Nut as best buds Boadicea and Atticus. Williams plays double role of penguins Ramon and Lovelace. The film also stars Hank Azaria, Sofia Vergara, Jeffrey Garcia, Common as well as Pitt and Affleck.

In short, Happy Feet Two is a cluttered film that offers few true highlights. Gratefully enough for fans, the songs are up to par, Damon and Pitt are a delight, and the penguins are still cute which will satisfy those who are looking for nothing else.

Skip It.

Images courtesy of Warner Bros. and IMDb Pro.

Burn Notice Review: It’s Gotta Suck to Be Mama Spy

It’s gotta suck being Mama Westen. First off, her son’s always somewhere off in danger. Now, I’m not a mom but I can only guess that a thing like that can put you over the edge. Add in the fact that everybody around her lies to her (only for her protection of course), she never gets any good part of the action, and at the drop of a dime she must be ready to abandon her life for no good reason. Yeah, being a spy’s mom sucks. And on this week’s episode of Burn Notice, Madelyn finds that the one good thing she thought she had going on outside of the spy business is nothing more than yet another lie. Also, Michael and the gang take on a group of Liberian extremists who’ve kidnapped a CIA operative.

Last week on Burn Notice, the gang figured out where Anson lived, and apart from a government grade radio system, they found nothing of use to remove Michael from under Anson’s thumb. So now this week, we start off with Michael and Fiona trying to figure out a way to decode the radio signal to find out what else Anson is up to. The job seems pretty much hopeless and Fi tells Mike that she doesn’t think they will be able to pull it off. Mike is unwilling to give up and tells Fi that the only way they can do it is by using the building across the street to intercept the signal. Because the building in question is also a security building, Fiona is disturbed by this and asks Michael just how far he’s willing to go.

Posing as window washers, Mike and Fi break into the security building and do a record search of the computer. There they find that Anson has been in contact with… well, someone. They find the address that Anson contacts and do a stakeout of the place. Fi is surprised to notice that the neighborhood isn’t what you’d expect for a spy. In Fi’s words, it’s what you’d expect from someone wooing a widow. And in fact, it is. As Fi and Mike watch they see Benny, Madelyn’s boyfriend, pull up to the place. He’s who Anson has been contacting. Fi is ready to jump out of the car and put a hole in him, but Mike is more lenient telling Fi that there must be another explanation. He wants more info before he busts up his mom’s relationship. Fi makes Mike promise that once they prove Benny’s a traitor, Mike will be the one to tell her the truth.

Mike leaves Fi watching over Benny while he heads to deal with agency stuff. Mike meets with Pierce who tells Mike that he’s got another assignment. An agent by the name of William Resnik has gone missing and is now ordering guidance chips (i.e. parts for a missile) for a Liberian chemical company. This causes more than a little concern as the company in question was closed two years ago, with its buildings now being leased out to its present gun-wielding owners. The CIA’s concerned that Resnik’s gone rogue and is now building a missile for the Liberians.

For this task, Mike will be playing more of a leadership role. Because he’s had dealings in Liberia, the agency doesn’t want Mike to go in for fear that he’ll be recognized. So for this reason, Jesse and Sam (Bruce Campbell) are recruited, and by recruited I mean they’re told they’re doing it. As you can image, Sam and Jesse don’t like being strong-armed into doing anything. The only thing that keeps them around is knowing that they’ll be doing their part to bag a traitor.

Jesse and Sam infiltrate the compound under the guise of tech guys from the chip manufacturer. One of the many guards at the gate doesn’t want to let them in, but Jesse and Sam convince the guy that they have to make sure they have the right attachments for the chips or else they would be useless. The guard eventually lets them in and the two are lead to a room where Resnik (Rick Gomez)  is working on the missile under the watchful eye of two more guards with guns. This guy’s not a traitor, he’s a hostage. While Sam distracts the guards, Jesse pulls Resnik aside and asks him what’s going on. A guy named Joseph Kamba kidnapped Resnik’s daughter and unless Resnik builds the missile, his daughter’s dead.

Sam and Jesse decide to help Resnik, but first they have to put themselves in a position to stay at the compound. They pretend to have the wrong chips for the missiles and tell Kamba that they’ll have to come back. Kamba smacks Resnik for this mistake, and Sam tells him it’s a simple thing to fix. But Kamba puts a gun to Jesse’s head and tells Sam that if he doesn’t come back with the right chips, he’ll shoot Jesse.

This sort of ties the gang’s hands. Because while they find out where the girl is being stashed, they can’t break her out until they figure out how to save Jesse and Resnik. Sam comes back with the chips and convinces Resnik to stall. He and Jesse need a reason to stay in the compound and the only way they can do that is if Resnik has been hurt. Resnik is hesitant, especially since Sam turns up one of the burners to shoot flames a foot high in the air. Resnik finally agrees only when Sam tells him that if he doesn’t he’s betting his daughter’s life on Kamba just letting him go. With no further hesitation Resnik puts his hands through the flame and gains himself two new helpers.

The plan to bust out is this: Mike and Fi bury two guns just outside of the electric fence. Sam and Jesse will get Kamba to move the fence back giving them access to the guns where they can then shoot their way out. Things don’t go according to plan as, tired of delays, Kamba brings Resnik’s daughter to the compound to remind him what he’s working for. It works and Resnik seems dedicated to finishing the missile. Sam tells Resnik that there’s no way they’re making it out of there unscathed. Best case scenario Kamba will move them to Liberia to make more missiles for him; worse case: Kamba won’t need any more missiles, or them. They’ll be dead.

Sam calls Mike (because apparently the ruthless monster didn’t bother to check and see if any of them had a phone. Big no-no by the way) and Mike tells Sam that their best way out is to convince Kamba that his men are turning against him. Sam goes to Kamba and tells him that all of these delays are the result of sabotage from someone in his camp. Kamba is disbelieving until a gas line is blown, frazzling him. The gas line was blown by Mike of course, but Kamba actually believes it could be one of his men. He takes Sam, Jesse, Resnik, and Resnik’s daughter and decides to escape the compound because, you know, that’s a good idea. They convince Kamba to let them blow up the missile as punishment for the traitor in their camp. Kamba agrees and he sneaks to the gate with his hostages.

If you remember, the original plan was to move the gate and get the guns hidden there. Jesse and Sam remember this as well and as Kamba is distracted by the missile explosion Sam and Jesse pull out the guns and turn them on Kamba who quickly drops his weapon.

–Okay, side note: why are all these criminal warlord guys so stupid? We’ve seen this maneuver what three, four times this season and it has never failed to work on these guys who apparently got to the head of their organization purely because of the way they look in suits. Criminals on TV should only ever be smart. If they’re not, what kind of challenge do they pose? None at all; as this show has several times over proved. Note over.-

Back to Benny: Fiona watches Madelyn’s boyfriend and it becomes more than obvious that Benny is working for Anson. Michael finally tells Madelyn (Sharon Gless) who refuses to believe it and tells Michael that she’ll find out her own way. Madelyn is really upset with the suggestion that Benny’s interest is in anything but her. Determined to prove Mike wrong, Madelyn goes to Benny’s place and starts searching through his desk. At first Madelyn doesn’t find anything, but just when she’s ready to give up she finds a secret compartment to one of the drawers. In the drawer, Madelyn sees a file with pictures of Michael and Fi. This proves that Mike was right and quickly Madelyn plants the bug in Benny’s telephone.

Mike and Madelyn are outside Benny’s house listening in when they hear Anson call. Mike tells Madelyn that she doesn’t have to be here, but Madelyn is determined to hear what Benny has to say. Madelyn wonders aloud if everything with Benny was a lie. Mike tells her that it’s always more complicated than that, and that Benny probably did really have feelings for her. On the call, Benny is upset with Anson and seems frustrated by this continued charade. Benny wants out and tells Anson that he feels horrible for what he’s doing to Madelyn. He tells Anson that if he could he’d give all the money he got from him back. Anson asks Benny if he got the package Anson sent to him. Hearing this perks Mike’s ears up and he runs out of the car towards Benny’s house. But it’s too late, Benny is already opening the package and before Mike reaches them Benny and the house are blown up with a horrified Madelyn looking on.

Season 5, Episode 15: “Necessary Evil” (original airdate November 17, 2011.)

Burn Notice airs Thursdays at 10/9c on USA Network.

Images courtesy of David Giesbrecht/USA Network.

Community Review: Documentary Filmmaking Redux

From the Greendale Community Course Catalog

Documentary Filmmaking Redux

Prerequisites: Intro to Documentary Filmmaking

Description: Students will document with fine detail a subject of their choosing over the course of one semester. Capturing the subject’s downward spiral into insanity is encouraged, but interfering with the unfolding narrative is not. 3 Units.

———-

When Dean Pelton (Jim Rash) exposes the study group to a painfully out of date Greendale recruitment video replete with cut off sweaters, neon, and fax machines, it becomes desperately clear that the commercial needs an update. He asks the group for their help with the shoot and they reluctantly agree. Putting the Dean on edge are the cameras swirling around the library that Abed (Danny Pudi) is using to document the entire project for his film class. “Ever seen Hearts of Darkness?” muses Abed. “Way better than Apocalypse Now.” And like the aforementioned documentary, what starts as a promising project is the beginning of disaster.

The first day of production sees the study group in their respective roles; Annie serves as script supervisor while the rest of the group is cast as actors, most notably Jeff (Joel McHale), who has been forced into a bald cap and semi-beard to play the Dean himself. Rather than bum out about what he has to do, Jeff chews through the scenery in the most flamboyant ways he can think of in an effort to get himself fired from the role. Instead, Pelton pats him in the back. “You’re really onto something here, Jeff.” Jeff’s Plan B is to get Pelton to shoot scenes in front of the school’s bronze Luis Guzman statue in an effort to make them pay for likeness rights, which would shut down production. Instead, Guzman himself calls the Dean and asks to be in the video. Pelton is unfamiliar with Guzman’s work but tries hard to butter him up as he searches his phone for his filmography. “I loved you in…IMDb.”

By the second day of production they are $6,000 over budget and the Dean starts to take on more of a Coppola persona, or to the lay person, totally coked out of his mind. Here, things start to go sour; the Board of Directors checks in, upset that the film is over budget, Pierce requests a Star wagon, which instead shows up for Luis Guzman, Britta and Troy are forced to hug and smile in a two second scene that ends up taking 12 hours and 400 takes to shoot, and Jeff and Pelton have a climactic argument over Jeff’s bald cap which quickly snowballs into a fight over the entire film. The cast and crew stage a mutiny and the production shuts down just in time for Guzman to show up. In desperation, he asks Abed for help which he cannot provide. “I’m supposed to be a fly on the wall,” he explains.

Pelton takes Guzman into the editing room that he shares with a rabid possum to see a rough cut of the video, which is a total disaster. Guzman tries to talk some sense into Pelton, saying that the Dean should “love the school,” and finally, miraculously, he gets through to him. Twelve days and $15,000 over budget, the Dean finally submits that he is in fact not the world’s greatest director and makes a confessional video about how he has failed the school. Preparing for the worst, Pelton shows his video to the school directors  and to his surprise, it is actually good. Turns out Abed has taken all the B Roll he has shot for his documentary and crafted a commercial out of it, saving Pelton’s job in the process.

“I thought that you were just supposed to be a fly on the wall,” Pelton suggests through tears.

“Some flies are too awesome for the wall.”

Indeed, Abed. Indeed. The line is particularly resonant given the fact that Community has benzene unceremoniously placed on hiatus for the Winter season with no immediate plans for its return. NBC reeks of desperation and confusion and their move on this show is one of the worst decisions in recent years for the tired net. Like true college life, enjoy this show while it lasts. You’ll miss it when it’s gone.

Season 3, Episode 8: “Documentary Filmmaking Redux” (originally aired November 17, 2011)

Hit the books with Community, Thursdays at 8/7c on NBC

Images courtesy of NBC

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