Top Chef Review: Bigger, But Better? TBD.

Top Chef is back and promises to be bigger and better than ever. It’s making Texas home this season and I must admit, my first reaction was “Texas?…Why Texas?” When I think of Texas, I definitely think of great food…but mostly of a BBQ and Tex Mex variety. My mind doesn’t immediately connect Texas with an array of eclectic and innovative cuisine.  Rather, I think of New York, San Francisco, Miami and Chicago. I do not claim to be a foodie so maybe I’m out of the culinary loop on this one. If so, I apologize for my ignorance and look forward to being blown away by Texas.

Tom Colicchio and Gail Simmons are back at the judge’s table this season along with newcomers Emeril Lagasse and Hugh Acheson. Padma Lakshmi returns as host. Sidebar – is anyone over Padma? I am. Here’s my problem: I don’t think she has the credibility necessary to host and critique contestants on the show. She is surrounded by some world-renowned chefs who reach pretty deep to pan or praise dishes. Padma typically delivers a “It’s salty,” or “I don’t like this,” or “I like the sauce” but fails to impress me with any meaningful feedback. Also, her overall delivery while hosting and judging lacks pizzazz. And one more thing, if the denim dress she wore on the Top Chef promos is any indication of her fashion prowess, I look forward to seeing what other creative ensembles she has up her sleeve. Here’s to hoping for a few bolo ties and spurs.

We start this season with a twist. Rather than begin with the 16 chefs who will be competing to win, the show brings on 29 hopefuls who duel it out to make the final 16. They are split into 3 groups and each group is required to do a specific challenge. Three judges critique group member dishes and then vote to either send the chef to the final 16, nix the chef, or send the chef to the “bubble.” The bubble houses all the chefs who weren’t good enough to make it through to the final 16 but who didn’t suck enough to get sent home.

First up is Group 1 whose challenge is to take various cuts of a pig and delight the judges with a dish in one hour. The one memorable contestant in this set was Tyler Stone. He and his gigantic ego waltzed into the Top Chef kitchen espousing to be the greatest thing since Marcel Vigneron’s hair and foam fettish. Sure enough, he wasn’t. When assigned to butcher a large prime cut of pork, Tyler hacked and sawed his way into one hot mess of a pig. When Tom saw the butchering nightmare, he sent Tyler packing. The “chef least likely to make it” award goes to the vegetarian chef, Tom Patterson who was completely out of his element as soon as he realized the qualifying challenge involved something that had 4 legs at one time. He dish looked depressed and on the verge of a nervous breakdown. Needless to say, Tom was sent home.

Next up was Group 2. Their challenge was to agree on one item from a table of ingredients and each cook that item to the best of their ability. The ingredient of choice was rabbit. Nina Vicente made the biggest goof in this group – she was so absorbed with plating her dish, she forgot to put the rabbit on it.  Nina, who seemed like a very seasoned chef, presented a sad looking dish to the judges consisting of some yellow sauce and lumps. Nina, I get that the pressure of the moment might’ve gotten to you but if you are going to forget to include the main dish because you were absorbed in plating, then I want to look at your plate and see something insanely awesome – like a replica of midtown Manhattan made entirely of potato straws or a marzipan parrot sitting under a canopy of spinach leaves. I don’t want to see a couple circles of yellow sauce and a dollop of an unrecognizable side dish. I think the judges would’ve let you stay on had your plating prowess outweighed the missing bunny.

Next week, we continue with the qualifying challenge for the third and final group. We also get to see all of those in the bubble duke it out for the final spots. While we don’t know who all the final contestants are yet, one thing is certain, at least 85% of them will be tatted up, which appears to be a requirement these days for culinary artists. Cheers to Top Chef!

Season 9, Episode 1: Remember The Alamo (originally aired November 2, 2011)

Images courtesy of Bravo TV.