Glee Review: Forever Young

If there was one major theme to this week’s episode of Glee, it’d be to cherish your youth because getting old kind of sucks. And our major players learned this lesson just in time, otherwise Sam would be working a pole for the next ten years, Quinn would be regretting ruining Baby Beth’s life, and Shelby would be jobless and occupying Cincinnati. Who wants to see that play out?

With Rachel unable to perform with New Directions in the Sectionals competition, she and Finn set out to fill the star shaped gap left behind. Their quest led to a seedy bar with a lot of hungry women waving dollar bills. Yes, Sam, the angel-faced, trouty-lipped boy next door, was well on his way to becoming a Chippendale dancer! Finn and Rachel hastily begged the boy to come back to Lima, not just for the club but for his own sake. Having to help his family with the bills had also forced him to grow up quickly. His parents, played by John Schneider (love you Papa Kent!) and Tanya Clarke, gave their blessing, especially since they’ve come a long way since we last saw them. (Like having a solid roof over their head and not living out of a suitcase.)

Still the tensions were clearly high, even with their man down problem solved. They’d also pulled in some band members. What songs would they sing? Who’d take the leads? Was there even a chance in hell that they could win the thing? Blaine wanted to use some boy band moves, Sam wanted to use a little of their sex appeal, and Finn just wanted everyone to get along, but Blaine had enough of his ideas being shot down and couldn’t take it anymore. (He’s super sexy when he’s angry and battering a punching bag and talking about how he can’t talk about Dalton Fight Club.) Finn’s passive aggressiveness finally came to a head, and he apologized and admitted that he was unwelcoming because he was insecure. They needed Blaine’s talent more than ever.

After last week’s cliffhanger, I realized Puck is just a dumb as he’s always been, because it was evident from the first shots of Quinn’s bitter, vengeful face that he’d spilled the beans on his relationship with Shelby. Armed with some ammo, Quinn was ready to take Beth’s mom down and possibly get her baby back, but like all the worst villains, she revealed her plan early on, meaning multiple opportunities for others to knock some sense into her. Kudos to Rachel for speaking her mind, that doing so would ultimately ruin Beth’s life by taking away her mom, instead of blabbing her mouth to everyone else in her usual hysterical, dramatic fashion. She appealed to Quinn’s rational side, and even convinced her to do the adult thing and tell Shelby her intention to out her before going to Figgin’s first. Sam chimed in when Quinn tried to rekindle their romance. She was quickly shut down when he told her that she had “rich, white girl problems” and to “hold on to 16 as long as you can.” (Sage advice from John Mellencamp.) Shelby also took the high road by admitting her own faults in starting a relationship with Puck. She was going to end it but got swept up in trying to feel young again. “Don’t wish away your life. You’re exactly where you’re supposed to be.” That sad look on Shelby’s face was a silent urge for Quinn to relish being 18 because it’s gone before you know it. Shelby’s advice was the final push for Quinn to start changing her life for the better. She even thanked Rachel, and mentioned applying to Yale.

While everyone else seemed to be getting it together or coming together, Tina and Mike appeared to be breaking apart. They are perhaps my favorite couple of the entire show. They have their squabbles but it’s usually because they want the best for each other. There’s little theatrics. It’s refreshing. Tina was disappointed that when it came time to turn in applications, Mike had again cow towed to his father who’d still refused to speak to him or his mother since the West Side Story incident. He was ready to go to Stanford and be a doctor, something Tina refused to let happen, no matter how many mean things he said about his disdain for her meddling and the fate of their relationship. She even confronted Mike’s dad about stifling his son’s gift and passion, who didn’t seem to budge at first, but did show up for the Sectionals performance and finally accepted and supported his son and his dream. Sure, it was all a little cloying, quick and too perfect, but man, did it tug at these heart strings, especially when Mike looked at Tina and told her how much he loved her.

In comparison, this year’s Sectionals didn’t have the same high-energy punch of past seasons, but there was something carefree and joyful about this competition. Maybe it was because we cared about two clubs and their equal desire to win. (I still rooted whole-heartedly for New Directions.) Without Rachel needing to hog at least one song, everyone in the Glee club, minus Rory, had an opportunity to shine. Who would have ever thought at the beginning of this season that Mike would have anything more than a dance solo, let alone an entire song line! It’s clear that the ratings on this show may be dwindling, but these characters are definitely blossoming and growing, finding personal greatness and going for their dreams, instead of just working towards a win. When Quinn rallied the Troubletones to join back up with New Directions, with a promise that they’d get to sing at least one song during competitions, all felt right in the world. The writers artfully pulled off the two warring clubs, but we always knew these guys belonged together. That’s where the magic truly is.

There’s only one more episode to go in 2011, so sound off below. Who do you think should have won? Did the Unitards, led by Harmony (Lindsay Pearce), truly deserve third place? Did you breathe a sigh of relief when Quinn came back from the dark side? With this last, holiday episode around the corner, what songs are you looking forward to hearing before we usher in 2012? It is the most wonderful time of the year!

THE SONGS
“Red Solo Cup” by Toby Keith. Sung by Sam and New Directions. B+
“Buenos Aires” from Evita. Sung by Harmony and the Unitards. A-
“I Will Survive” / “Survivor” by Gloria Gaynor/Destiny’s Child. Sung by Santana, Mercedes and the Troubletones. A-
“ABC” by The Jackson 5. Sung by Tina, Kurt, Mike, Quinn and New Directions. A
“Control” by Janet Jackson. Sung by Quinn, Blaine, Artie and New Directions. A-
“Man in the Mirror” by Michael Jackson. Sung by Finn, Artie, Noah, Blaine, Sam, Mike and New Directions. A+
“We Are Young” by Fun featuring Janelle Monáe. Sung by New Directions. A-

MEMORABLE MOMENTS

• “Even homeless people have Facebook.” – Finn about finding Sam
• The utter (now open!) hostility between Kurt and Sebastian. Kurt pulled the claws out, and I had to like Sebastian when he said, “Fun!” when realizing that the game for Blaine was officially on.
• “One of us has a hard luck case of the gay face and it ain’t me. Odds are by the end of the school year, I’ll have Blaine and a nationals trophy and you’ll have khakis and a Lima Bean apron and that gay face.” – Sebastian
• “You smell like Craigslist.” – Kurt
• The sheer joy from the Glee club when Sam entered the room.
• The simple, wonder that the “Red Solo Cup” jam session and the happiness it inspired, coupled with Kurt confusion of its power.
• “Welcome back, Lisa Rinna. I’ve missed you so much since your family packed their bags, loaded them into your mouth, and skipped town. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve wanted to enjoy a crisp pickle but couldn’t find anyone to suck the lid off the jar. I assume you’ve been working as a baby polisher, where young mothers place their infants heads in your mouth to get back that newborn shine. So glad you’re back. I haven’t seen a smile that big since the abominable snowman got his teeth pulled by that little gay elf dentist. Love, Santana.” – Santana
• “I’m sure you’ve noticed that I’m supermodel thin now that my thyroid is under control.” – Quinn
• “Girls smell better than ham. And when they’re dancing and bouncing around, you can’t help but watch them.” – Rory on why the Troubletones will kick their butts.
• “I got light tingles where it’s only 50/50 for tingling.” – Artie on body rolls.
• “I don’t care how big or bad your boyfriend is. I’m gonna fight to get you back.” – Sam to Mercedes
• “It would be rude if I followed you around and every time you took a step I played a note on a tuba.” – Santana to Finn
• Kurt and Rachel’s mouthing the words during the Unitards’ performance. Broadway can’t be denied.
• Three Jackson songs in a row! What a wonderful way to do a tribute without it having all the songs and storylines be centered around one artist.
• Puck and Quinn’s hug after their performance was over.
• “Just think, I’m only a sophomore and I’m already this good. Next year’s going to be a bloodbath.” – Harmony to Kurt
• Schue’s “for you” to Emma. Not really, though. For the kids, maybe? But it was sweet.
• “It’s that damn trouty mouth. Even I felt a little something in my lady loins when he did that magic sex dance.” – Santana
• “We Are Young,” the perfect “we’re all together” song to close with, though I’m still not sure what Sugar is doing there.

Season 3, Episode 8: “Hold on to Sixteen” (originally aired December 6, 2011)

Glee airs Tuesdays at 8 ET/PT on Fox.

Images by Adam Rose and FOX.