The Darkest Hour Review: So Ten Years Ago

The Darkest Hour didn’t bore me to death. That’s about the most enthusiasm I can muster for what, in my opinion, was little more than a slightly different twist on Final Destination. And really, the Final Destination franchise has beaten their own dead horse to death. They don’t need anyone else to take up a stick and start whacking away.

Instead of Death, the humans in The Darkest Hour are being stalked by an undefined alien society that craves electrical energy. Instead of trying peaceful negotiations, they float down from the heavens in the form of orange lights, then proceed to lock on to electrical energy to locate living things in order to absorb their energy – by turning its food source (that would be us, among other things) to ash.

Our protagonists, or what passes for those in movies such as this, are a team of young software engineers hoping to hit it big with the next social network, Sean (Emile Hirsch) and Ben (Max Minghelia). They meet up with traveling friends Natalie (Olivia Thirlby) and Anne (Rachael Taylor) at a club in Moscow the night of the invasion and survive, along with a Swedish man who has stolen their business model, by hiding in a storeroom for several days.

When they emerge, it appears they might be the only five people in Moscow to survive, perhaps in the world. There is no reason, by the way, to set this film in Russia. It could have been set anywhere else and been exactly the same film. It always bothers me when writers don’t use setting to the fullest extent, for the best creations give the setting its own role to play, infusing the story with elements from the surrounding world.

They make their way to the U.S. Embassy, which is deserted, by the skin of their teeth, and there they find an undamaged radio (all electronics were fried) repeating a broadcast in Russian. Unfortunately the Swedish jackass, who happens to be the only one of them who speaks Russian, decides to take off down the street by himself with a gun, which, by the way, can’t penetrate the strange electrical force fields used by the aliens so are pretty much of no use.

The now foursome uses their tiny little brains (in between quips by the guys and whimpering drama from Anne), and sling light bulbs around their necks as early warning devices. They also agree to only go out after dark, when the signs of the alien approach are more visible. The Swedish guy had spotted a light on a few blocks away, so they make their way there without further death and destruction, where they find a strange old man living inside a homemade Faraday cage, his light a beacon for survivors.

With the translation help of a teenage girl who also found her way there, they learn the metal cage distorts their electrical current and guards them from detection, but, unfortunately, it only works when the zappy little buggars can’t get inside. Which is to say, the dumb blond girl panicked (again), didn’t lock the cage, and caused not only her death (which rated cheers in my theatre) but the death of the crazy old Russian man who had saved their lives for five minutes – but not before he imparted some more knowledge, along with a weapon that shoots microwaves strong enough to temporarily stun the strange creatures.

The now threesome (heavy one Russian teenage girl) runs – there’s a lot of running – and are about to get caught when some commandos wrapped in metal and wielding some heavy artillery save their rears. The microwave gun combined with the regular guns gives them enough time to get away, and damages the electrical armor, but they still can’t kill these nothing-but-evil invaders intent on killing everyone and stealing metals from the center of the earth.

Oh, right. The message on the shortwave radio states there’s a submarine at the mouth of the river, and it will be waiting for survivors for another day. Ben, Sean, Natalie, and Vika (Veronika Ozerova) are determined to try to make it there, and eventually convince a few of the commandos to escort them.

Suffice to say, before they reach the submarine there are a few more casualties, and also more crap blowing up, but in the end we learn there are pockets of survivors, all of whom are figuring out how to fight these things.

Which, I’m sorry to say, feels a lot like we might be seeing a sequel or five.

This movie isn’t terrible. I mean, the protagonists have no depth, which means I couldn’t have cared less when one or more of them bit it. The aliens are flat evil – we never learn their purpose for choosing Earth or for killing everyone – which means they’re not terribly interesting antagonists. The science felt pretty solid to me (and since I watch Fringe, obviously I’m an expert on all of these things). I didn’t laugh. I didn’t cry. I pretty much knew exactly what would happen from the moment the aliens arrived. It’s another one of those decent ideas that isn’t realized in the final product…and probably not in the original product, either.

But the acting didn’t get in the way of the story, there were some tense moments, and it’s clean enough both language, violence, and sex wise to be able to enjoy it with children.

I realize Not Terrible isn’t a ringing endorsement. The film treads no new ground, and doesn’t have much to say. If you’re looking for pure, science fiction entertainment… I still say it can wait for video.

Pictures Courtesy of Summit Entertainment