Jersey Shore Review: Hurricane Situation
It’s time to rejoin our favorite guidos as they return to familiar ground. Last season, Jersey Shore saw the gang in their homeland of Italy. They learned a little bit and got to experience a different culture, but all good things must come to an end. After a few weeks of being unable to GTL effectively, they were ready to resume their summer in Seaside.
You’ll recall from last season that Sammi said she didn’t want to keep the same living arrangements once they got back to Jersey. Mike is such a toxic presence in the house that she wanted to be proactive about distancing herself from him. But, no dice. No one wants to room with Mike. The meatballs are going to stick together and no one can break up Pauly and Vinny’s bromance. So, it looks like Ron and Sam are stuck with The Situation once again. When they arrive at the house they agree that Mike will mind his own business and they forge a tentative truce. Speaking of arrivals, the gang was super excited to be back in Jersey. I understand missing the comforts of home, but the Jersey Shore house is rather spartan by comparison to the Real World house. Or my house, or your house LOL. Are they actually sleeping on cots? Step it up MTV! All jokes aside, their boss at the t-shirt shop throws a surprise welcome home party for everyone, and the stage is set for sparks to fly.
Everyone’s significant other and family are at the party. Jionni and Snooki are still together, despite her wild ways on another continent. He’s there, along with Mike’s friend The Unit. The Unit is a witness to Mike’s hook-up with Snooki out on the West Coast while she was still with Jionni, an allegation that Snooki vehemently denies. Mike claims that Ryder hooked up with The Unit while he and Snooki did their thing, and that The Unit saw at all. Unit and Snooki end up clashing at the party, putting Mike in the faux role of peacemaker. Unit threatens to spill the beans to Jionni if Snooki doesn’t start being nicer. And would you believe that this heated exchange took place all while Jionni was conveniently in the restroom? You can’t tell me this stuff isn’t scripted!
Making matters worse for Snooki (and better for us) is the fact that The Unit is actually crashing at the house. If he’s anywhere near as much of a d-bag as Mike, Snooki will have a problem on her hands. Meanwhile, Vinny is having some mental problems. He’s the ultimate Mama’s Boy and seeing his family at the party only to have them leave again so abruptly has thrown him into a funk. As a woman, I fully understand having a random case of the blues. And I don’t ascribe to gender stereotypes. That being said…MAN UP VINNY! This guy is a candidate for those Miller Light commercials with the unmanly guys who are one strike from getting their ‘man card’ revoked.
All in all this was a good opening to what promises to be another trashy season. Will Mike succeed in breaking up Jionni and Snooki? Will Vinny snap out of it? Is this the season that things are finally all clear on the home front for Sam and Ron? Stay tuned.
For another take on this week’s episode check out “Jersey Shore Review: A Blackmail Situation” by Lauren Tyree.
Season 5, Episode 1: “Hurricane Situation” (originally aired July 5, 2012).
Jersey Shore airs Thursdays at 10/9c on MTV.
Images courtesy of MTV.