The Vampire Diaries Review: Aaaaand We’re Back!

Is it just me or does November seem like it was years ago? Sure, the holiday season is always busy but damn – this one made me feel like I was undead and living in an eternal December. But luckily the wasteland era is past and The Vampire Diaries is back with new episodes! Let’s be honest – they’ve been missed.

As usual, things left off in November with broken hearts, threats of death, and a whole bunch of other juicy twists that the show has become known for. So let’s get right to it and see what the old gang is up to now in the dead of winter.

Following their failed attempt to kill Klaus (Joseph Morgan), both Elena (Nina Dobrev) and Bonnie (Kat Graham) are big bowls of paranoia. Elena thinks everyone is chasing her (they actually are) and Bonnie is having a recurring dream about visiting a house where she finds the coffins of Klaus’s family that Stefan (Paul Wesley) stole to keep him at bay. It seems foreboding but she goes to investigate the house for real anyway and ends up finding Stefan there where he asks for her help in hiding the bodies.

Another person struggling with what went down recently is my favorite dreamboat, Jeremy (Steven R. McQueen) who has recently started failing in school, been fired from his job, and is hanging out with the Klaus slave, Tyler (Michael Trevino). Elena and Alaric (Matthew Davis) are naturally concerned so they force him to stay for dinner one night, which he agrees to but only after inviting Tyler inside to join them.

Meanwhile, Damon (Ian Somerhalder) is reunited with Klaus who reveals that he intends to stay in Mystic Falls until Stefan brings back the four coffins with his family members. And to make sure this happens sooner rather than later, Klaus places a call to Jeremy and compels him to go stand outside in traffic. This would be unsafe in any average normal day scenario but this time its a tad worse thanks to Klaus’s stooge Tony who is barreling down the road with intent to hit poor Jeremy. In the last moment though, Alaric springs to action and pushes Jeremy out of the way only to get hit by the speeding SUV himself.

A normal human being would certainly be dead if they got hit by a large vehicle at that speed, but Alaric is only temporarily dead thanks to his magic ring.

And no, I can’t believe I just typed that last sentence with a straight face.

Anyhow, Damon fills Elena in on Klaus’s coffin craving, which reminds her of the dreams that Bonnie has been having, so she calls her. Not one for keeping secrets, Bonnie immediately spills the beans about Stefan’s location and having the coffins locked up in the old haunted house. Together Elena and Damon go to convince Stefan to give up the coffins in order to save Jeremy’s life. Stefan’s response? “Piss off.” Or something along those lines.

Not making any progress, Elena peaces out to check on Alaric while Damon stays behind to confront Stefan some more. As we’ve seen previously, the witches who reside in this house don’t like Damon very much so when he tries to enter the sunlight burns him as if he weren’t wearing his magic ring, but he carries on without a care anyway. He gets into a mini stabbing fight with Stefan who then reveals that he betrayed them all to save Damon’s life. This ticks Damon off but he sticks around anyway and convinces Stefan to let him help in killing Klaus…or at least try to…again.

Back at the non-haunted house, Alaric wakes up from his semi-dead state expecting to be all fine and dandy only to find himself coughing up blood and looking like a hot mess. Elena calls the ambulance and just when they’re about to take him to the hospital, Tony the Stooge shows up again and compels the EMTs to leave. He then insists that the only way Alaric will live is if she invites him in to save him with his magic blood. She is clearly tempted but just then Jeremy shows up, shoots Tony with an arrow, and then proceeds to chop his head off with a meat cleaver.

Yeah…that happened.

Alaric then recovers quickly at the hospital (is his magic ring just on the fritz?) to the amazement of cute Dr. Meredith who I think is destined to become his love interest on the show.

Elena then tries to smooth things over with Klaus by turning over the corpse of Rebekah to his care. He appears to waste no time in reviving her by removing the stake from her heart, but as soon as he gets her back to his place and she begins to wake up, he stakes her again fearful that she will seek revenge for what he did to their mother. Rest assured, we will see her again later this season I’m certain.

And in the most moving aspect of the episode, Elena asks that Damon once again compel Jeremy to forget everything he has seen and been through in Mystic Falls from his dying girlfriends to the beheading of Tony the Stooge. They tell him he’ll be going to Colorado to stay with family, drink beer, and meet girls. I can’t bear the thought of him being gone so I would like to apply for one of those “girls” positions. My resume and past experiences really make me an ideal candidate for the position, I swear!

And finally, Bonnie pays particular attention to one of the Klaus family coffins that seemingly can’t be opened by any means. Our favorite witch seems to think something inside may hold the key to defeating Klaus. I guess we know what the rest of the season’s quest will be now…

And that’s all that happened this week! See you next week!

Oh, wait, what? Did you want me to talk about that little moment where Damon said he felt guilty for Stefan saving him and started to walk away only to turn around and say he actually wanted something to feel guilty about before planting a big old smooch on Elena? Yeah, I guess that slipped my mind. You act as if we’ve been waiting a year for that to happen! Imagine that.

Season 3, Episode 10: “The New Deal” (originally aired 1/5/2012)

The Vampire Diaries airs Thursday nights at 8/7c on the CW. For more of our reviews, click here.

Images courtesy of Bob Mahoney/The CW.