Top Chef Review: Restaurant Wars

The battle we’ve all been waiting for finally arrived on this week’s episode of Top Chef: Texas. No, I’m not talking about the finale–though the sooner we get there, the happier I’ll be with this season. The lucky eight finalist made it to the prestigious round dubbed Restaurant Wars! It is truly the Battle Royale for Top Chef contestants, where we get to see if they really are the top chefs they believe they are. Each team picked a theme and name, shopped for decor and ingredients, trained their staff and served over 100 customers. Quite the daunting task. Do they understand what type of restaurant the masses want to feast in, and can they give it a cute name that successfully ties to the vibe of their restaurant and the food they’re selling? This week is a special treat for the viewers, as well, because we all know what we’d consider a successful dining experience and the kind of restaurant we’d eat in once and never again. It’s also one of the best reality TV forums of ramping up stress and anxiety, and therefore, pressure-filled drama.

Canteen – “A place where communities come to dine”

Run by Chris J., Ed, Paul and Ty-Lör, this would have been the team that I would have bet on, if I’d been forced to pick one train wreck over the other. That’s not a diss to each team’s performance. We all know that it’s utterly impossible to open a restaurant, let alone in 24-hours. Train wrecks come with the territory. These boys just get along better, but sometimes that togetherness can lead to complacency with no one wanting to go against the grain.

With 45 minutes to plan, Ed took on the role of Head of House due to his experience owning a restaurant. He may not be the sunniest guy, but he knows how to put on a good face, and that goes a long way when it comes to long lines. To start, Ty-Lör put out a Thai-style shrimp and crab lettuce cup with kaffir lime, fish caramel sauce and grilled peanuts. Paul took a take on ham and eggs with a pork and mushroom pâté, nectarine, fried egg purée, braised mustard seeds and duck fat crostini. Paul and Ty-Lör teamed up on a poached salmon entrée in tomato water with clams, salmon skin and tomatillo jam, and Paul also made a roasted pork belly with green apple and sweet potato purée. For dessert, Chris J. decided to do homemade Cracker Jacks with ice cream, peanut butter and cherries, and Ed interpreted an Almond Joy chocolate bar as a cake with malted chocolate mousse and banana coconut purée. Already, I sniffed a problem. Anyone else see an imbalance in who made what? (Paul will land himself in trouble if he continues to blindly take the lead instead of picking his battles strategically.)

There was no connection between the elegant style of the restaurant, the communal theme in the name and the hodge-podge combination of the food. Things really began to fall apart as the servers started mixing up, or forgetting to label, tickets, and the boys realized they sorely needed an expediter. This is key to any restaurant staying on time with food preparation and turning over tables. Then, EVERYONE was in the front of the kitchen with their aprons on just trying to dig themselves out of the weeds. It wasn’t a pretty sight for the judges.

Judges’ Table (Tom Colicchio, Hugh Acheson, Emeril Lagasse and Padma Lakshmi): Immediately, they sensed a positive vibe in the room with guests enjoying themselves. Hugh thought the lettuce cup need a little more balance, and maybe some acid. Emeril thought Paul’s ham and eggs were greasy but the concept was great. Sadly, Team Canteen forgot the mushroom on the salmon and the judges noticed. Though cooked well, Paul’s pork belly didn’t live up to their flavor expectations. Ed’s dessert was, by far, the best dish the team made, but Tom still wanted more coconut. However, Chris J.’s dessert was hit or miss. Padma and Tom like the saltiness, but the others found it underwhelming.

Half Bushel – “Ingredient-drive, organic, with a homey feel”

Quite the opposite of the boys, these ladies had no problem getting catty with each other. Poor Beverly, of course, bore the brunt of these onslaughts, as Sarah and Lindsay treated her like a child who was being allowed to “pretend” to cook in the kitchen. I’m surprised they didn’t make sure her burners were actually turned off. Lindsay opened a lot of restaurants for Michelle Bernstein, which is all fine and dandy in terms of knowing how a restaurant should operate and dealing with the rockiness of an opening night, but she’s never come off as the friendliest of the bunch. For all the ladies’ prior whining, I’m shocked they didn’t relegate Beverly to the front of the house instead of Lindsay, since Sarah’s alluded how much she’d botched things up in the kitchen for them in the past. Unlike the prior night’s restaurant debut, this was a team a part.

Lindsay was cursing at the kitchen on top of her brash urging, passively showing her anger over not being able to cook her own dish. And even after instructing Beverly on how to prepare her grilled halibut with Spanish chorizo with fennel and sherry salad and repeatedly nagging her to do it this way and that way, restaurant goers were not licking the plate like she wanted. I’ve enjoyed Lindsay so far this season, but there was definitely an ugly side to her this week. It’s not a judgment on her personally, just her actions during the competition when under massive pressure. But it did turn me off and root a bit more for underdog Beverly. The chef may not have impressed Lindsay with her cooking, but she wowed the judges with her braised shot rib with Thai basil potato purée, apple slaw and kimchi. Grayson and Sarah prepared the appetizers and desserts. Grayson cooked a peach salad with pickled shallots, bacon vinaigrette and candied pistachios, while Sarah plated mozzarella-filled arancino with sweet and sour eggplant and celery salad. To cap off the meal was a Schaum torte with vanilla meringue and champagne berries and hazelnut cream doughnuts with a banana sugar glaze, prepared by Grayson and Sarah respectively.

Judges’ Table: Things didn’t start off too well when the judges had to wait to be greeted, and the mood was noticeably lower compared to the boys place. Both appetizers, however, were well prepared. Tom thought the peach dish was a nice summer salad, while Emeril loved that his arancino was piping hot when he cut into it. Everyone agreed the halibut was overcooked, and Tom wanted more flavor. Hugh believed Beverly’s short rib had more flavor than anything he’d eaten in the past two days. The doughnuts were leaden and didn’t have enough banana flavor, while the torte got mixed reviews. Tom loved the sauce, but Hugh wanted it to be creamier.

After deliberating, the judges came to a clear consensus. Though the lines were long at both, and the service and atmosphere was more enjoyable at Canteen, the food was just better at Half Buschel. And there’s no question that food is what matters most on Top Chef. Beverly, easily, took the win on her team with her dish. Overall, the guys needed to be better organized, Paul needed to take less on his shoulders, and C.J. should have done more than “assist” and a dessert, but Ty- Lör’s food was bland, and under-seasoning (especially when it comes to well-spiced cuisines) is a crime in the Top Chef kitchen so he was sent packing.

Last Chance Kitchen Update: Once again reigning champ Nyesha takes down her challenger Ty-Lör.

Sound off below on what you thought of Restaurant Wars. How’d it compare to past seasons? Did you like the Battle of the Sexes breakdown? And what restaurant would you rather dine at?

Season 9, Episode 9: Restaurant Wars (originally aired January 11, 2012)

For more food and drama, tune into Top Chef every Wednesday at 10/9c on Bravo.

Images courtesy of Vivian Zink/Bravo.