Glee Review: All You Need Is Love

The love bug hit McKinley high hard this week on Glee, and since I didn’t have a Valentine of my own, laughter and song was the very best heart medicine. All of the characters were in the mood, even Puck had a whole sorority of Valentines, but almost everyone also had some kind of problem to deal with. Otherwise, it wouldn’t be Glee.

Sugar threw a V-Day dance, and Artie and Rory fought over having her as their date. (I was wondering when the character was going to do something other than sound horrible while singing, a fact that has magically vanished now that she’s officially in the glee club.) Joseph, Samuel Larsen from The Glee Project, finally made his debut as a bible-loving, previously home-schooled transfer student. Joining the God Squad (Mercedes, Sam and Quinn), the quartet decided to sell Valentine’s Day singing telegrams to students to raise some money for charity, sometimes  with assistance from Mercedes’ church choir. They also discussed whether, as God lovers, they should sing a telegram for lesbians when Santana pays them to. Santana wanted to make a point because an anonymous Christian had complained to Figgins about her barely there peck with Brittany in the halls, who put a swift end to their PDA. Rachel and Finn could slobber all over each other, though. Those two announced their engagement to the club to lackluster enthusiasm, and Rachel’s dads, Hiram and Leroy Berry (Jeff Goldblum and Brian Stokes Mitchell), made a fantastic first appearance, seemingly in support of their daughter and the newly engaged couple.

The songs really told the story this week, instead of being an accessory. I like this trend, and they fit the plotlines quite nicely. There wasn’t the dreaded shoehorn effect, but love could be clouding my judgment.

“L-O-V-E” by Nat King Cole. Sung by Mike and Tina. B+
These two didn’t  have much to do this episode besides look adorable together and support Rachel and Finn’s impending nuptials, but man their number was the perfect way to showcase Tina and Mike without pushing Mike’s vocal and allowing him to dance naturally. Plus, it was a great backdrop for the Artie/Rory Valentines gifts battle.

“Let Me Love You” by Mario. Sung by Artie with Mike, Sam, Kurt and Noah. A-
Artie can sing anything in my opinion, but his voice allows him to bring the sexy when it’s one of these smooth, R&B songs. The character or the actor isn’t really my type, but that doesn’t matter much when you have such emotionally-charged talent. I’d take either of them home in a minute after a song, so it was no surprise when Sugar jumped into Artie’s arms and literally asked Artie to wheel her to her next class.

“Stereo Hearts” by Gym Class Heroes feat. Adam Levine. Sung by Joe, Sam and Mercedes with Quinn. B+
Couldn’t the God Squad have set up shop in my school? We never had singing Valentines! We only had cheery pep club girls handing out lollipop grams—there really is no comparison. Samuel’s debut number was the perfect choice for the rocker, and it put together some of the outliers in an imaginative way. Yes, there was Sam rapping—and white boy rapping on this show is always horrible, Finn, Schue or otherwise—but it was still lively and cheery. Finn wanted to send something special to Rachel, and I appreciated that the writers did it in a gram instead of a duet, giving others some opportunity in the unfettered spotlight. Plus, I think this was the first time the rest of the student body seemed to pay attention and enjoy a performance.

“Home” by Michael Bublé. Sung by Rory. B+
To counter Artie’s sexy number, Rory sang a soft, touching song about how the glee club made him feel. He’d just learned that his Visa didn’t get approved, and he’d be heading back to Ireland at the end of the year. Damian hasn’t gotten much to do in terms of acting, but I will say on an emotional spectrum, he’s played pretty well for a novice. I believed his feelings in words and song, even if he was fibbing and playing it up for sympathy. It was enough to get Sugar to feel sorry for him and be his date.

“I Will Always Love You” by Whitney Houston. Sung by Mercedes. B-
Although Mercedes did admit all that recent undercover time with Sam and their kiss to her boyfriend, things changed when she realized how much she’d hurt him. (Shane cried. You actually saw this big, teddy bear of a man with a tear streaming down his face.) She didn’t like the person she’d become, lying and cheating. She loved Sam, but couldn’t be with him until she could know who she was in terms of relationships (Cop out!), but great opportunity to sing the awkwardly-timed Whitney number. With Whitney’s death so fresh, the rendition so obviously paled in comparison. That’s to be expected, but usually I can get so wrapped up that I avoid comparing. Very sad. Sam was also having none of Mercedes’ “sorry we can, but we can’t be together,” rejection.

“Chapel of Love” by The Dixie Cups. Sung by Hiram and Leroy. C-
“You’re the Top” from Anything Goes. Sung by Hiram, Leroy and Rachel. D
You really can’t judge these songs because Rachel’s dads were horrible—terribly amazing—but still horrible. Rachel would be the biological vocal product of Shelby and the personality product of two hilariously self-involved gay men, who actually play a song for their soon-to-be in laws, oblivious to the fact that no one in their right mind would ever enjoy that racquet. It was priceless to watch Finn excitedly ask why the Hudson-Hummels don’t Partridge Family-it around a piano for before suppertime, and then see the looks of horror and dismay on Burt and Carol’s faces.

At first it was a little Twilight Zone, but then it was revealed that all the parents were taking the news so lightly because a reverse psychology plan was in action. If Rachel and Finn actually saw what it was like to be real adults (sleepover!), they’d see the need to slow down. Sure, Rachel wanted Finn to wait to poop, maybe until she could legally drink, and Finn had to deal with her hour-long nighttime ritual, but in the end, it only forced them closer together, and they ended up setting a date for May after Nationals. I don’t think many of the glee clubbers, Schue or their parents will really take that lightly. Intervention time!

“Cherish” / “Cherish” by The Association / Madonna. Sung by Quinn, Sam, Joe and Mercedes. B
After some hard thought, Joseph was with the remainder of the God Squad in wholeheartedly agreeing to sing Brittany’s Valentine. “Love is love,” he said. Unfortunately, I hate how they mangled these two songs by mashing them up. Just because a song has the same words in their title, or even throughout, does not make it any more prone to smash together. My ears still hurt, and fortunately, they dispatched into and out of it fairly quickly. What I didn’t appreciate was that there was some real meat behind the no-PDA storyline that they totally glossed over by making the major point about whether or not they would sing the song to lesbians.

“Love Shack” by The B-52’s. Sung by New Directions. B-
Sugar had renamed the rented Breadstix, the Sugar Shack, for the night, so what a fun way to end the episode with this B-52’s oldie. All the couples (minus Sam and Mercedes) seemed closer than ever. There was hint at some Joseph/Quinn action, but Artie seemed so sad and alone. There was something so ridiculously rambunctious about the original, and I think that Glee missed that with this version. (It’s usually something they do very well.). But I don’t care. I will take Blaine finally returning—post-Broadway’s How To Succeed In Business. One episode is just too much with him.  


  • Here’s a spoonful of Sugar for you all. Don’t sweat the small stuff, and it’s all small stuff when you’re rich.” – Sugar
  • “I love the sound of applause even if I have to pay for it.” – Sugar
  • Hiram: Leroy, we agreed to sing it straight. No vocal runs. That’s how Jennifer Hudson got kicked off of American Idol.
    Leroy: I would love to hear you sing something straight.
  • That one dream about Tony Danza…
  • Santana and Brittany’s Infinite Playlist (a.k.a. all the songs that Brit thinks about when she’s with Santana): “Purple People Eater,” “Disco Duck,” “Monster Mash,” “On Top of Spaghetti,” “Pac-Man Fever,” “Osama Yo’ Mama,” and “Diff’rent Strokes.”
  • “If you don’t support us, I feel sorry for you, and you’re not invited to the wedding, which makes me really sad because I would have loved to have seen you in a bridesmaids dress, Quinn, and you too, Kurt.” – Rachel.
  • “Well, three of us are in glee club so we sing to gay people all the time.” – Sam
  • Mercedes: They say one out of every people are gay. And if that’s true, that mean one of the 12 apostles might have been gay. And my guess is Simon because that’s the gayest.
    Sam: Bible says it’s an abomination for a man to lay down with another man, but we shared tents in Cub Scouts and slept next to each other all the time, so that would make Cub Scouts an abomination.
    Quinn: You know what else the Bible says is an abomination: eating lobster, planting different crops in the same field, giving someone a proud look. Not an abomination? Slavery.
  • Hiram and Leroy met while­­­­­ they were in Up With People, one of the most insane groups ever, who also turned in some of the funniest Super Bowl halftime shows ever.
  • “Hiram and I are gonna stay here, but we’ll put on some music just so you don’t think we’re trying to listen in.” – Leroy after Kurt, Carol and Hiram pull some serious reverse psychology on the newlyweds.
  • Kurt’s secret admirer turning out to be Karofsky, finally ready to show his feelings and thankful to Kurt for helping him feel comfortable with who he is. Karofsky also likes butterscotch candies. Sadly, we know where Kurt’s heart lies, and Karofsky faced rejection all in the view of some football buddies. (Is Greek’s Beaver (Aaron Hill) going to show up again, because I certainly hope so!)
  • Hiram: Shhh. Listen. Silence. They’re not fighting anymore. It’s not working. What, is he defiling our baby?!
    Leroy: Do you need a Xanax?
    Hiram: I already took three. This is a stupid plan. We’ve never lied to her before. Honesty. Respect. Dance. Those are the foundations of the Berry family.
  • Blaine losing the eye patch!

Season 3, Episode 13: “Heart” (originally aired Feb. 14, 2012)

Glee airs Tuesdays at 8/7c on FOX.

Click here for more Poptimal coverage of Glee.

For another Poptimal take on this episode, read “The Good, The Bad, and The God Squad” by Josh Hatala.

Images courtesy of Adam Rose/FOX.

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