Glee Review: Rough Road to Regionals

Well, Gleeks, we’ve come full circle once again. It’s season three, and New Directions graced the Regional’s stage a third time to hopefully seal a trip to Nationals, where Rachel and Finn will not awkwardly make out in front of the entire audience, thereby ruining their chance at grandeur. This time, their rivals are once more The Dalton Academy Warblers, except Blaine isn’t at the helm. This is great for New Directions, but awfully sad for the Warblers who just don’t sound the same without him. There’s also another group competing against them, but they only get 20% of a song, and we know those folks never win.

Besides the pressures of not losing, our glee kids had a lot of other things on their mind. With the near loss of someone close to them, everyone’s lives are put into perspectives. Remember that proposal? Well Rachel did a 180 and was the one pushing for the wedding to happen sooner rather than later. Life’s too short, ya know. Even Sebastian set aside his pettiness, realizing that his taunting and jabs cause me plenty of laughter and others an unnecessary amount of pain.

Then there’s Karofsky! Where did his massive storyline come from? Left field, that’s for sure. After last week’s Valentine’s Day embarrassment, Karofsky faced some major montage bullying. Unlike Kurt, it was verbal and internet-based, but it hurt just the same. “Cough Syrup,” Blaine said, was inspirational, and that’s why he chose to sing it to Kurt, but the song did provide a great backdrop to Karofsky’s suicide attempt, something that sadly felt rushed and lacked the emotional weight the writers were looking for.

Don’t get me wrong: it was horrible. But when you bring a character back for basically one episode the whole season, it’s hard to feel as attached as we should. If this had been last season, it would have been a completely different story. Even as Figgins, Sue, Beiste and Schue came together to talk about how best approach dealing with telling their students, each lamenting how much more they could have done and how they all thought he was going to hurt Kurt so they didn’t have very much sympathy for him at the time, I couldn’t help but feel like they were trying to shove stronger emotions down my throat.

The God Squad took to prayer to make sense of the tragedy, though Quinn had very little understanding for someone selfish enough to take their own lives. She’d been through a rough time, and never once wanted to kill herself. But Kurt, atheistic as he is but feeling he had nowhere else to turn, walked in and stood up for Karofsky, noting that Quinn was still the golden child through all her struggles (even as a Skank), and she couldn’t understand what he went through. Kurt also took on a lot of guilt, admitting to the group that he ignored calls when he should have answered.

Schue stepped in and called a sharing circle for the club. Forcing Rory to share his first sticky-mouthed peanut butter experience in front of everyone, he reminded them that when they are depressed, there are tons of amazing memories to be made in the future if they only hold on. He even confided that he once considered suicide after being caught cheating on a test, and he would have missed out on Emma and the kids. He then prompted everyone to talk about what they look forward to most in the future. Quinn wanted to graduate top of her class at Yale. Puck wanted to just graduate high school. Sugar wanted to see the next, horrible Sex and the City sequel, and Mercedes wanted to see how Rachel’s babies would turn out. Blaine wanted marriage equality in all 50 states, and Finn wanted to petition the Army to change his father’s dishonorable discharge. It was sweet, I’ll admit.

I know it seems like there wasn’t a lot to laugh or smile about during this episode, but it was a Regionals episode, and therefore included tons of upbeat singing, dancing and cheering. With “Stand” and “Glad You Came,” the Warblers had a lot of fun performing a message of caring, but there’s this not so pleasant autotuned sound to them now, and it’s just not as exciting to watch, which makes it harder to believe that they’d win as well. (Blaine and The Beezlebubs arraignments are sorely missed.) With Rachel and Finn’s decision to hold their wedding post-Regionals, there should have been an inordinate amount of stress to win while all in attendance were actually happy and not dejected. They should have just waited a day or two because the minute I heard the “Fly” mash-up, I thought they’d lost it all. It was an assault to the ears. At least, the show placed some importance on continuity for once, and made good on their promise to give the Troubletones a Regionals number, one of the few solid ones of the competition. I always wondered how they lost to New Directions in the first place! Of course, it wouldn’t be a true competition without a Rachel-centric song and longing looks between her and Finn, and “Here’s to Us” did a fine job of serving that purpose.

Regrettably, we didn’t get to see the deliberations between the judges, even though Glee co-creator Ian Brennan made a cameo as judge Svenboolie, a parody of Svengoolie. Guess that’s a sign he should stick to writing and not acting. Didn’t matter though, because with a good amount of the season to go, we all knew the audience wouldn’t have to suffer with another Nationals-free season close. (Remember the uproar of Season One? With everyone’s feelings, except for Big K’s, on a high, Sue gave Quinn the chance to finish out her senior year as a Cheerio. (She’s with child now and underdoing lots of hormonal emotion changes.) In turn, Quinn told Rachel she would support her and Finn at their wedding after realizing the two truly make each other happy. Kurt decided to do some self-realization with Karofsky, helping him imagine a future where he’s successful and happy. Everything was wrapped up in a pretty bow until…

It was off to chapel—the courthouse—to get married. Rachel had all her bridesmaids, Finn had his groomsmen, and their parents were plotting in the wings. Just your typical wedding, except Quinn was still nowhere to be found. Rachel wanted to wait, Finn knew they’d lose their spot, and Rachel just kept texting Quinn. We all know texting while behind the wheel is never a good thing, especially when you keep looking at your phone on the passenger seat! If you didn’t see that huge sideswipe coming for Quinn, you’re blind.

Cut too black.

There hasn’t been such a fairly unfunny, totally melodramatic episode of Glee in a while, and it certainly wasn’t the high note they should have gone out on before a winter hiatus. Their saving grace is that a few of the songs will get some serious iTunes action, and certainly a ton of repeats on my playlists, and Max Adler did a great job playing so much emotion with so little screen time. Yet, ultimately, a television show needs to be about the story, and the episode was rushed, confusing and not that much fun. Sue with a baby and completely reformed. Sebastian so quickly repenting for his prior sins. Strange how just one episode can change an outlook so quickly.  It’s not enough to showcase the great idea of a storyline about teen suicide without packaging it in the best vehicle and in the most effective way possible. The writers have to start giving these characters some true and meaningful purpose, and if not something truly Emmy-worthy at least make the storylines consistent—not just the plots, but how they unfold—and make them fun to watch, or they won’t be able to slow down the already declining viewership.

But enough about what I thought. How’d this season’s Regional competition stack up against the past? Are you pro or against Finchel’s wedding? Did Karofsky’s suicide attempt resonate with you? Is Quinn hanging on for dear life or will she emerge with a broken arm and some bruises? What number did you hate, and what was your favorite? Sound off below!

THE SONGS
“Cough Syrup” by Young the Giant. Sung by Blaine. B+
“Glad You Came” by The Wanted. Sung by The Warblers. B+
“Stand” by Lenny Kravitz. Sung by The Warblers. B-
“Stronger (What Doesn’t Kill You)” by Kelly Clarkson. Sung by Santana, Brittany, Mercedes and (the return of) The Troubletones. A-
“Fly” / “I Believe I Can Fly” by Nicki Minaj feat. Rihanna/R. Kelly. Sung by Rachel, Artie, Santana, Blaine and New Directions. C
“Here’s to Us” by Halestorm. Sung by Rachel and New Directions. B+
“She Walks in Beauty” by Eric Barnum. Sung by Our Lady of Perpetual Sorrow’s The Golden Goblets. B (I have a soft spot for madrigals.)

MEMORABLE MOMENTS

• “Twice a day you boys stain your mother’s drapes or befoul a gym sock that has to jump from the hamper straight into therapy.” – Sue
• “Well, if it isn’t an old Barbra Streisand and a young Betty White. Where is gay Cyclops? Still stumbling in?” – Sebastian
• “You give the gay community cutting edge fashion that’s usually only seen on Puerto Rican pride floats.” – Sebastian
• “There are 15 of us here, and I’m only comfortable sharing a spoon with about half of you.” – Sugar
• “I want Lord Tubbington to kick his ecstasy addiction.” – Brittany
•  “Quinn, thank you for coming. I know you must be exhausted from singing all those ‘Oohs’ and background ‘Aahs’.” – Sue
• Hiram: At this point, even Patti Lupone, herself, couldn’t talk her out of marrying Finn.
  Leroy: Barbara could.
  Hiram: Maybe Barbara.
  Burt: Who’s Barbara?
  Carol: Streisand.
  Burt: But since Babs is probably shopping in her private, underground mall right, right now—you know she has her own mall?

Season 3, Episode 14: “On My Way” (originally aired February 21, 2012)

Glee airs Tuesday nights at 8 p.m. on FOX.

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Images courtesy of FOX.