The Bachelor Review: Two is Too Much

 

So this week we had 2 episodes of The Bachelor, each 2 hours long. And I don’t know about you, but that was way too much for me. All that passive aggression had my anxiety through the roof. And to make things worse, the only girl I was really invested in got sent home.

But we’ll get to that later.

Let’s start with Monday night’s episode.

At the start of the episode, Chris Harrison showed up and told all the girls to pack their bags. They were all taking off for Montana! The place is totally lovely, and all the girls settle into their lodge before the first date card arrives.

Kiss, Kiss, Kiss
The first one-on-one date went to Lindsay. Sean picked her up in a helicopter and took her to the mountains where they had a picnic. Most of their time on screen was made up of kissing. So much kissing, not a whole lot of anything else. (If Lindsay isn’t the winner, I’m sure the actual girl he picked is not enjoying watching this episode. Or any episode, really.)

After the picnic, Sean took Lindsay to the town square where they danced to a live performance by Sarah Darling.  It was cute, if a little awkward, and very short. The two seemed to have a good time, but the date was seriously cut down on air. Regardless, she got the rose.

Milking It
The group date card arrives, and Tierra and Jackie are singled out as the only ones not listed. That means they’re off on a two-on-one date later.  Meanwhile, the other eight girls are taken to a farm. They are separated into two teams and given a few tasks – first, row a canoe across a lake. Next, carry a bale of hay. Third, saw some wood. Fourth, milk a goat. Then someone has to drink the goat’s milk.

Desiree’s team proved to be the winner after she downed that gross goat milk, but it was all for nothing! Because Sean felt bad sending the losing team home before the party, so he invited them to join. As you can imagine, that pissed off all the winners.

That wasn’t the real drama, though. The real drama was caused by none other than Tierra, who snuck over to the party and hijacked Sean during an interview. She showed off her neediness, telling Sean she was sad about getting a two-on-one date and not a one-on-one. Hey, Tierra, you’re crazy is showing. But of course, Sean just comforted her and seemed oblivious to the red flags she was flying.

Tierra snuck back to the house to rejoin an unsuspecting Jackie, and Sean went back to his party. Daniella cried, so of course she got the rose.

Tattle Tale
On their date with Sean, Tierra and Jackie ended up on horses. Poor Jackie got left behind while Sean and Tierra rode next to each other ahead of her. Rude! Sean should have stayed back to help her if he was such a gentleman.

Fed up, Jackie decides to tell Sean the truth about Tierra and who she is. Shockingly, Sean seemed to take it well at first. They even ended up making out. (Sean made out a lot this episode.) But Tierra played a better hand. She told Sean about her ex-boyfriend who died of a drug overdose. In the end, Tierra got the rose.

And I groaned so loud my roommate came to check on me. SERIOUSLY?

Red Roses, Redder Flags
Sean was getting frustrated by the night of the rose ceremony. There was just too much drama for this country boy. He pulled Leslie aside and asked her about Tierra, admitting that he was frustrated by the way people kept mentioning her name without telling him anything.

He got to see it a little for himself, though, when he walked through just as Tierra was exploding at Robyn. Not that it mattered. In the end, Sean was left feeling doubtful of finding his wife at all, and he sent home Robyn. Not Tierra.

And then there was Tuesday’s follow up episode. Sean and the girls took off for Canada, heading to Lake Louise! It was quite lovely, but also quite cold, from what the girls said.

Rolling in the Deep (Snow)
The first one-on-one date went to Catherine. I was eager to see this because the two had proven to have some cute chemistry in their quick moments together. And it definitely carried over to their date. Sean and Catherine basically went and played in the snow. They were adorable, like little kids playing games and making snow angels. And, the best part, Catherine didn’t complain ONCE! I think almost every other girl has whined about their date at first, but not Catherine. She had a blast.

Then he took her to an ice castle mad just for them where they spent the evening talking. Catherine opened up to him about a traumatic incident in her past where she saw a camp friend crushed by a falling tree.  Sean was very sweet with her, and they clearly had chemistry. So she got the rose.

Cold, Cold Heart
The group date was quite the drama. Sean took the ladies canoeing, leaving Catherine and Desiree (the other one-on-one date getter) back at the lodge. Leslie was agressive and hopped right into Sean’s boat, which was enough to earn her the group date rose later. But that wasn’t the real drama – it was all about Tierra.

Sean suggested they all do the Polar Bear Plunge – running and jumping into the freezing cold water together. Selma was not having it. There was no way she was getting in that water. Lord, this girl doesn’t like anything outdoorsy, does she? The other girls were all in, and a life guard was on standby just in case.

And, of course, the only girl that needs saving is Tierra. Now, I’m not saying she faked it because I don’t think she did. But I definitely think she hammed it up later, after being returned to the lodge, when Sean visited. One minute she’s all weak and helpless. Then, at the threat of not attending the party later, she quickly gets up and gets dressed. Whatever the case, it’s not making her any friends.  That’s fine by her, though, since she doesn’t want any.

And here is where I get very, very sad.

During the party, Sean had a one-on-one with Sarah, who talked about her family and mentioned wanting Sean to meet them one day. Sean told the producers in the interview afterwards that that was “scary.” Wait, meeting her parents is scary but Tierra isn’t?

Later, Sean went back to the lodge and pulled Sarah out. He told her he cared about her and had too much respect for her to make her go through another rose ceremony when he didn’t see a future for them. Sarah was devastated, and it seemed like the other girls were, too. This woman was obviously very well liked. She was definitely my favorite.  I was so bummed to see her go.

Sean and Des, Sitting in a Tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G.
The night’s second one-on-one date went to Desiree. This is her second date, and it seems obvious she’s a front runner for Sean. He took her to the top of a mountain that they then had to propel down in order to get to their picnic. Desiree (or Des) was obviously nervous at first, but ultimately she did it and seemed to enjoy herself. After their picnic, the two had a fun time climbing trees together and just being sort of cute.

Later, sitting in a teepee, Des admitted to living in a tent with her family at different points in her childhood. She really opened up about growing up poor, and for the first time, I started to really like her. Unsurprisingly, Sean gave her the rose.

And Then There Were Six
Sean was much more optimistic for this rose ceremony than the last. He admitted to the girls that last week, he’d had doubts, but this week he was more hopeful about the chance of finding his wife.

Shockingly, Tierra is still someone he is hopeful about, apparently, because she’s sticking around. Ugh.  Just looking at her causes an anxiety spike.

Sean said goodbye to Selma and Daniella. Which leaves us with six – Tierra, Desiree, Leslie, Lindsay, Catherine, and AshLee.

What do you think of Sean’s choices? Is he on the right page? Would you kick Tierra to the curb? I want your thoughts!

 

Season 17, Episode 5 & 6: Week 5, Part 1 & 2 (originally aired February 4, 2013 and February 5, 2013)

For more of The Bachelor, check out our other reviews.

The Bachelor airs Mondays 8p.m. on ABC.

Images courtesy of Rick Rowell, David Gray and ABC.