Glee Review: I Don't

WTF, my Glee lovers. W-T-F!!!! Glee is no longer a coming of age, high school comedy. It is a full blown melodramedy, folks, and I’m loving every minute of it.

I remember the proposal which was so wonderfully over-the-top and beautiful – magical in fact. When this week’s episode was previewed as the wedding episode, I got really excited. Boy, did things go in a completely opposite direction than I expected.

After last week’s complete goof where Finn kissed a stressed out Emma, the episode opened with a freaked out Finn unloading to Rachel. Yes, you read that right. He needed to talk to someone, anyone, so why not your ex-fiancé who’s currently living with another guy, though they haven’t put a label on anything. Yes, it’s just that complicated. She advised him to shut up and be a good best man, which was pretty much the same advice that Emma gave him when they see each other for the first time, post-kiss attack. Yet it was clear that Emma was completely unraveling, and it didn’t help that there was an epidemic of Asian bird flu going around. (Just in case you were wondering, Tina confirmed that it wasn’t her fault.)

Will came back to the open arms of the glee club, but besides some cheers and hugs, there wasn’t a lot of fanfare or updates on his Washington trip. He just got right back into his role and tasked the glee club with performing some songs at his wedding. He even asked Finn to sing something special instead of giving a best man speech. Unfortunately, he had a chance to sing but not to the groom and bride because shortly before Emma’s long walk down the aisle, she’s overcome with the jitters. It’s been clearly written on her face even before Finn’s kiss, but it came to a dramatic head. Sue showed up in a replica of her wedding dress, ready to ruin Will’s big day, which sent Emma into a tailspin about how she just couldn’t get married. She ran off, leaving Sue to glide down the aisle and tell Will that his fiancé had left the building. (I guess Sue’s the only winner in this situation and we didn’t even really get to see her revel in it. She’s been so low key lately.)

Emma parent’s – though we didn’t see them – were happy to see their baby’s wedding fall apart and since they paid for the reception, they weren’t going to let it go to waste. Will agreed, sadly, and went off to find Emma while everyone else went to party.

The best part of this episode was the fact that it was a mini reunion. Blaine and Kurt were totally all over each other, even though Kurt confirmed they were not together and was dating someone, not seriously, in NYC. Blaine confessed that no matter what, he knows Kurt can see their chemistry and that they will be together again. The funniest part was Tina getting all jealous, and Kurt telling her exactly what the audience was thinking. Stop it, Tina! It’s weird. She finally got it and embarrassed her inner hag.  Finn, who’d asked Rachel to duet with him for his “speech,” were also relighting their flame. He couldn’t wrap his head around the fact that Rachel was living with a guy she was dating but continued to call it something that wasn’t serious, and it made him think that she was hesitating to commit because she wasn’t over him. This could be true. She didn’t really share her opinion, but they did share a bed that night after he confessed that no matter what, he knows their relationship is the “end game” and that he knows she knows it, whether she admits it or not. (It was seriously hot.)

Mercedes didn’t have any awkward time with Sam, and we barely saw her or got to know about what she was up to, but she did look happy with her two gays on her arm. But Santana was still struggling with seeing Sam and Brittany happy. Luckily, she had Quinn to keep her entertained, and I mean…well…it went there. Santana is super hot, so it doesn’t surprise me that even straight girls want to get a little bi-curious with her, but these two have been such bosom buddies. I can only imagine the fallout if there were to be any. But the two seemed content that it was just something fun to do that one night and nothing major.

Not to be forgotten, Artie got set up with Betty Pillsbury, Emma’s niece, who was also wheelchair bound but still a total mean girl who wanted nothing to do with Artie.(She was played by Ali Stroker, a runner up from season two, for you Glee Project fans.) Artie thought she was just being tough because she was in a wheelchair. But no, she just thinks she’s the SHHHH. He won her over in the end though, and the two had a lot of fun, even getting a room of their own. Also, the Jake-Marley-Ryder triangle heated up again. Ryder has been a great buddy, but this time he really let it go too far, and that’s exactly what got him all caught up with her again. Jake struggled to find a good gift for Marley, so Ryder basically gave him all the things he would have done for her had they been dating. They serenaded her in class, putting on some throw back outfits and old school moves to match the 1960s as they performed. It was sweet. He then bought flowers and had them ready for Marley when they reached the wedding. Jake didn’t even know about that one. And finally, he had a necklace all ready for the final gift. He gave that one up even though he REALLY didn’t want to. Especially after learning that Jake was ready to bed Marley. It was that comment that really turned sad Ryder into the Ryder that kissed Marley in the halls when she admitted that she knew all along how he’d helped Jake and that one day he’d make some lady very lucky. So now Ryder is a bad friend to Jake, Marley’s really uncomfortable and Jake has no idea what’s going on. They also tried the hotel room out but didn’t get it on like our other couples did. Marley still wasn’t ready, and Jake looked majorly disappointed but still okay with it…for now.

I know the episode was a little crazy, but I loved it. It ended with Finn affirming to Will that he will help him find his lady love and they WILL get married, and the glee club singing as usual. And then the big bomb was dropped. Rachel got home to a sweetly decorated apartment and Brody. He asked her if she hooked up with Finn while back at home and she lied. She asked the same, and he lied. He also got some cash after whatever he was doing in that hotel room. Brody the Manhattan Escort? So we know more drama is ahead. Then, Rachel realized she was late. Yes, that kind of late, and took a pregnancy test. We didn’t get to see the results but from the look of her face, there was a + sign!

I think this season Glee is abandoning its desire to take itself too seriously and just have a little fun with the storylines, and that’s why I loved it in the beginning. Now it’s time for you to sound off. Were you shocked that Emma and Will didn’t get married? Anyone surprised that our old couples ended up hooking up? Or better yet Sinn got together? (An apt name for the Santana and Quinn pairing, no?) Are you shipping Marley and Ryder or Ryder and Jake? I love Jake’s voice, but I love Ryder as a person. I’d take them both.

THE SONGS
“You’re All I Need to Get By,” by Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terrell. Sung by Jake and Marley with Artie, Sam and Ryder. A-
“Getting Married Today,” from Company. Sung by Emma and Will with Mercedes and wedding guests. B
“Just Can’t Get Enough,” by Depeche Mode. Sung by Blaine and Kurt with Brittany and Marley. B+
“We’ve Got Tonite,” by Bob Seger. Sung by Finn, Rachel, Kurt, Blaine, Marley, Jake, Quinn, Santana, Artie and Betty. B-
“Anything Could Happen,” by Ellie Goulding. Sung by Marley, Artie Jake and the New Directions. A

MEMORABLE MOMENTS

• “This seating chart is like a giant Sudoku. Will wants his mother as far away from the bar as possible and all of you glee kids have dated so incestuously that I can’t even remember who can tolerate who anymore.” – Emma to Finn
• “I hate weddings and I hate Valentine’s Day. They were invented by breeders to sell cheap chocolate and false hope.” – Santana to Quinn
• “Do you know what I hate? Men. Every single one of them is a pig, except maybe Mr. Schue and Al Roker.” – Quinn to Santana
• “Andrew Garfield is nerdy hot. You are Stephen Hawking’s younger brother.” – Betty to Artie
• “Of course it isn’t going to work. You’re a weird bird lady with a hollow pelvis and OCD. And Will Schuester is a weepy man-child whose greatest joy in life is singing with children and his best friend? 19.” – Sue to Emma
• “We always were two ends of the same bitch goddess spectrum. That’s why we love each other so much. And slap each other.” – Santana to Quinn
• Ryder: It’s a heart pendant from the jeweler at the mall. It’s pretty, but it’s not too expensive, so she won’t think you stole it.
  Jake: OK, I’m gonna ignore the subtly racist overtones of that comment because you are my hero.
• “In other nonsensical traditions, Emma left behind her bouquet as she fled the scene, leaving it to somebody else to toss these soon-to-be-dead flowers under the mythical belief that whoever catches them will magically become the next person to get married, or more than likely, to sprint from the altar.” – Sue
• “Did you Vapo-rape my ex-boyfriend?” – Kurt to Tina
• “Today is the day we honor St. Valentine, a man publicly beheaded for defying his government by exchanging candies and chocolates to nonsensically render the objects of our affection more fat and less attractive.” – Sue
• “You and I both know how this thing ends. I don’t know how, or when, and I don’t care where you’re living or what dope you’re shacked up with. You’re my girlfriend. We are endgame. I know that and you know that.” – Finn to Rachel
• “It’s no accident that we were together on Christmas and again on Valentine’s Day. And we’re going to be together for many, many more, no matter how much you pretend that this doesn’t mean anything.” – Blaine to Kurt
• “Kind of mean? You were like Idi Amin mean.” – Artie to Betty

Season 4, Episode 14: “I Do” (Originally aired Feb. 14, 2013)

Images courtesy of Adam Rose/FOX.