American Horror Story Coven Review: The Melonballer

American Horror Story Coven 4After watching this week’s episode of American Horror Story: Coven, you may never look at a melon baller the same way again. Myrtle—everyone’s favorite “charcoal briquette”—uses the ubiquitous kitchen tool to help her beloved Delia to see again. Although this was one of the more gory scenes that AHS: Coven has displayed, it was also kind of delightful to see Myrtle in her witchy glory, which sheds some light on why she and Fiona have always hated each other.

The gift of sight does have one unfortunate side effect—Delia can no longer feel someone’s past by touching them. That skill will definitely be missed, because without it, Delia didn’t seem to have any idea that Hank was a loser or that her mother was a conniving bitch. Hopefully losing her gift won’t bring Delia’s character back to being milquetoast.

Farewell, Hank

We also learn in this episode that Hank has been a terrible witch hunter ever since he was a kid—much to the dismay of his father, who runs a witch-hunting corporation. In fact, Hank is laughably bad at his job, to the point that even being married to Delia for a few years hasn’t garnered him any useful information that the company can use. But it turns out that his dad’s business countered Hank’s uselessness by attacking Delia with acid so she would continue to “need” Hank.

Hank’s disappointment at hearing this news surprised me, considering that he didn’t appear to be a very dedicated husband to begin with. And his dad (who somehow transforms from a redneck witch hunter at the beginning of the episode to a Gordon Gecko-like corporate raider several years later) tends to side with me, considering he reminds Hank that he’s always been aware of the fact that Delia will eventually “need to be put down.”

The Strength of the Teens

Everyone knows I think Nan (Jamie Brewer) is the most interesting student at the Coven, and this week she proved why she absolutely deserves to be center stage more often. When she stood by Luke’s mother (the amazing Patti LuPone) as she sang to him in the hospital, it put chills down my spine watching these two amazing actresses convey so much without actually moving a muscle.

And I don’t believe for a second that Queenie defected from the Coven just so she could be Marie Laveau’s handmaiden. I thought maybe it was possible that she had an ulterior motive being with Laveau’s gang, but perhaps it was just to ultimately be the person who allows Laveau to survive where the other bodyguards fail.

Nevertheless, I’m not going to dwell on the deaths that occurred this week, since no one ever really dies on this show—at least not permanently. It will be interesting to see whether Hank, Queenie, Luke, and the ill-fated German shepherd are brought back to life next week or if they’re gone forever.

Season 3 Episode 9: Head (originally aired on December 11, 2013).

For more from Torrey, check out her other reviews.

American Horror Story Coven airs Wednesdays at 10 p.m. on FX.

Images courtesy of Michele K. Short/FX Networks.

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>