Heroes: A Bad Farewell

You know that feeling after you turn 21. You reveled in a ton of debaucherous build-up, only to be left with the thought, “What‘s left?” It really is the last, truly exciting age milestone. Moreover, most people would feel pressed to come up with an older age that could complete with that level of excitement. Well, that is the exact feeling I had after watching Heroes’s season four finale. What’s left? How much more can the show butcher itself before there’s nothing left, not even season one?

There are a ton of things to knock about this season’s Heroes finale. Therefore, I’ll start with some of the good things.

1. It’s over. Look, I know that I am being harsh, but to be honest, this season tried my patience more than any other did. It was wildly uneven, often relied on clichéd plot development and recycled character stories and wanted too much to be too many things. It’s an oft-repeated problem with Heroes, and it’s hard to fault them. The ones at the helm do try to push the envelope and take chances. (See: all time travel storylines) However, they often go too far. The arcs tend to start well but then spiral out of control, and it’s hard for the viewer to feel fully invested when things jump so swiftly. And tonight’s episode is a perfect example.

Hiro’s storyline could only be resolved in so many ways, and the question most fans wanted answered: Will he save Charlie? Can Hiro actually get his happily ever after? For those of us who can’t help but head to the net and magazines once our favorite shows go off, see Jayma Mays on a Golden Globe winning, little show called Glee. It promptly makes the idea of Hiro and Charlie growing old together seems highly unlikely. Therefore, the writers had to come up with an intriguing way to have the hero save the girl, but also have the girl exit. They also had to wrap up that ever-elusive time travel issue since Samuel dropped her who knows when.

I would say they accomplished part of this storyline’s mission. Charlie wasn’t a cliffhanger. Hiro did in fact find her once he woke up in the hospital and convinced Ando that he was cured. A sweet origami bird is hand delivered to him, and he knows Charlie is near. Now, I guessed the big reveal, partly because hospitals only make me think of one thing….old. Therefore, Charlie ended up being an old woman in her late 70s or 80s. Did the writer’s take the easy way out? Yep, but I didn’t really expect much less since they had to stuff so much into one episode, and there were many other heroes to focus on. Charlie, having been left in the 40s and never recovered, got the chance to live like Hiro always wanted for her, even if it was without him. He did pause for a long moment to think about time traveling again to pick her up and right her life. Smartly, she pointed out her family and full life, all a product of what happened to her, and reminded him that they were important too. At least they had a calm chance to say goodbye before Hiro was off to help the others on the quest to defeat Samuel.

2. A second, major issue is with character development. Part of the reason Season 1 was such a success was due to the beauty of unraveling the depths of characters that had just uncovered new, amazing abilities. Each person was so unique and, for the most part, intriguing. Peter and Hiro searched for greater purpose. Mohinder attempted to decipher his absent father’s mysterious work. Claire had begun to feel like an outsider in a world where she used to belong. Isaac battled an intense drug addiction. This list could go on. Yet somewhere along the line, the writers took the spotlight away from the characters, focusing more on mythology. And while some of the mysteries were definitely inspired, they were often poorly executed or dropped with no explanation and the characters were the ones hurt the most.

Sylar’s evolution has jumped all over the place. First, he’s a baddie. Then, he’s a reformed Mama’s boy and sidekick and next a villain again. Oh, wait! Only to have his personality recycled once more. (Zachary Quinto, you are a champ.) All of this I could accept if they would have displayed these changes with more poignancy. During this final showdown, Sylar did, in fact, save the day. He did what Peter’s vision promised and saved Emma from death/mass genocide by cello. He even restrained Doyle and left him alive. As I said earlier, I often champion such a drastic change in a show. Nevertheless, this went from a great idea to being a lost opportunity because I wanted to see and know more, instead of seeing the change happen over the course of one, boring episode.

The Claire/Gretchen storyline was also another that the writers teased all season, but the writers just dangled the carrot in front of us and expected us to keep running. When I can see the effort of a storyline completely downgraded, then I feel downgraded. They could have gone so many places for Claire with this one and ways that stayed away from being cheap and fake. At least they focused more this season on her relationship with her father, Noah. She was whiny most days, but her father’s almost death brought out the best of both worlds: the emotional daughter and the determined, independent lady. Having them buried in a big tin can under 40 feet of solid dirt was even claustrophobic for me! The uncomfortable situation gave Claire a chance to express that she truly loves her father no matter what and gave Noah the chance to tell Claire that she’s the bright spot in his otherwise dark life. He was almost gone, but there’s no way I could buy them killing off one of the most beloved characters on the dying show, so it wasn’t unexpected when Tracy showed up to save the day. She did her Alex Mack thing and made her way into the trailer to help them get out. Tracy let it be known that she doesn’t just do things for no reason and that he owed her. They made a point to have her say it and then Claire repeat it so I see big things in Tracy’s future. (Not that I’m excited about it or anything, but you might as well know too.) This escape was all a little dodgy, though. How did they really get out of there? We’ve never seen her power translate into morphing others.

3. Though there are a slew of reasons why Heroes should kick the bucket, my final point will focus on the final battles. Every season the story is supposed to lead up to some epic battle, and it’s always a letdown. This one was especially so. Samuel made right on his promise to bring the carnival to Central Park and get Emma to draw in the masses. All this lead to a showdown that included Claire giving a soapbox speech denouncing Samuel to all of his followers, and Peter and Samuel in the most ridiculously boring earth vs. earth fight EVER! I always wanted Samuel’s power to develop into something more than just moving earth. But truthfully it was a limiting power from the beginning. On a small scale, it’s boring, and on a grand scale, it’s pretty much too destructive to use.

Plus, for the first time, getting all the heroes together didn’t result in fireworks. You’d think a ton of people with crazy powers, fighting for the survival of thousands of people, might cause a massive raucous. Not really, since they all used them in the smallest of ways. Claire convinced all the carnies to leave Samuel, weakening him. It helped that Noah and Edgar teamed up and brought Eli into the fold. (Barely a blink was given to this.) Peter did…whatever that was subduing Samuel. Hiro helped teleport all the carnies out so that Samuel would be powerless, and he wouldn’t have been able to do it without Ando’s supercharge. Yep, that was it.

WRAP IT UP
Of course, in the end, we always get to peak into the first moments of the next installment. In this case, news vans flocked to the scene of the “commotion” to find Claire ready to show the world that she is different. I didn’t gasp with everyone on screen as Claire flung herself from the tallest thing she can find, but I loved to watch the expressions on their faces. The final moments were by far the most unsettling and interesting, always the case with this show.

Overall, this season had some highs in the beginning but it couldn’t sustain them. The writers started with a strong idea, hindered by putting out a weak product, therefore leading to a mediocre season. I always want shows to have the opportunity to end their tales on their own terms, so I’m up for another Heroes season, if only for some resolution. However, I accept that I’ll have to force myself to watch. Though as a TV lover, I’m okay with that.

PARTING SHOTS
“I gotta say. I never liked carnivals.” – Noah
“Yup.” – Peter

“What is she doing?” – Lauren
“Breaking my heart.” – Noah

“What the hell does she think she’s doing? She gonna change everything.” – Peter
“That’s right. It’s a brave new world.” – Sylar

“This is Claire Bennett, and this is attempt number…I guess I kind of lost count.”

Season 4, Episodes 19: Brave New World (originally aired February 8, 2010)

For more on Heroes, click here.

Mondays at 9/8C on NBC

Photographs courtesy of NBC Universal, Chris Haston, and Trae Patton.

American Idol: Last Stop On The Road To Hollywood

Sometimes I want to gouge my eyes out for having to watch all these audition shows. I end up investing a lot of time in too many people who I’ll never ever think of again, but I remind myself that I have to keep my eye on the big stage. And then I remember, it’s actually someone’s job to edit this stuff. That’s much worse. I miraculously feel so much better.

So, we visited Denver for the first half of the week, and the second half was spent watching some auditions we hadn’t seen from the past few weeks. While I loved the assortment of YouTube covers of “Pants on the Ground,” I am more than ready to yell, “sayonara auditions!” at the top of my lungs.

WATCH OUT FOR…
Mark Labriola, 28, sings “Tempted” by Squeeze, a song that I don’t ever remember hearing on the show, and he owns it. The only thing that makes me smile during these rounds are when someone, primed to be a dud, completely shines. He held his own under Simon’s crazy-talk grilling after learning Mark was kidnapped by his mother at a young age. (Yay for a life story not told from the ::tear::tear:: perspective!) Plus, his baby was oh-so cute.

Tori Kelly, 16, greases the judges with her tag-along, little friend named Hope, at that. The girl is sly. She then kills John Mayer’s “Gravity”. I understood Simon’s critique of her “annoying” voice. She was a little bit shrill, but I think being put together, confident and sunny goes a long way early on.

Jessica Furney, 20, found empowerment in rejection by losing some weight, feeling and looking more vibrant, and returning for another shot. She also found a way to butter up Simon by singing “Footprints in the Sand,” a song Simon co-wrote.

Amanda Shectman’s, 19, voice was perfection, but she showed very little emotion during her performance. Now, we knew from her interview with Ryan earlier that she wasn’t a shy girl. But the judges weren’t prepared after her dour performance to see an outburst of emotion. And their chiding of her dramatic ways only provoked her even more. After much torture, they put her through. Now if we could do something about those tan lines.

Didi Benami, 22, was a big ball of nerves. Even Kara pointed out how much she could tell Didi wanted it, which only made her release her frustration in the form of an endless stream of tears. Her voice is distinct, different and if this girl can take control of herself, she could carve out her own little folkie niche.

Aaron Kelly is a sweet-faced 16-year old who reminds me of David Archuleta since they’re both angelic, adorable, soft-spoken and polite. Now can he go just as far?

Let’s not forget those flashes in the pan. Lee Dewyze, 23, and Crystal Bowersox, 23, both brought guitars with them kind of like how a baby sleeps with their blanket on a hot summer’s day. It’s not necessary, but it makes you feel safer. Rachel Hubbard, Thaddeus Johnson, or Genesis Moore, all 16, could be the next Mouseketeers 4.0 or the stars of HSM: The Next Generation.

NEED FINE BUT NOT FAB? CALL…
Kimberly Kerbow, 24, got a lot of flack for singing the line, “I’d buy you Rogaine” to Simon. It was all a little silly because it is the actual lyrics to the song she was singing, and then there was Simon’s low blow. “You’re a single mom? I wonder why…” But he recovered by saying yes and that she was funny. She wasn’t funny actually or all that great. I thought she was trying too hard to be cute and sexy, but her voice wasn’t half bad. Once she left the room though, he called her out for wearing a wig. Touche, Simon!

Danelle Hayes, 24, had a sob story about how hard it is to put on a smile and do little shows after little shows when you have such a big dream. I liked her voice, but she seemed to be screaming a lot and cracking a little. I’m sure her voice was affected by the fact that she was crying as she entered the room and teary as she sang, but she made it easy for Simon to pick up on the fact that she may be broken and got to them just in time. So what happens when you cut her, Simon?!

Casey James, 27, is pretty nice on the eyes, so he easily swayed Kara and Victoria, especially after telling him to take his hair out of a ponytail and take his shirt off. (The shirt was strangely Randy’s suggestion.) He also seemed like a big sweetie, hearkening on a motorcycle accident he lived through but the docs predicted he would never play guitar. He overcame that obstacle but that’s nothing compared to Simon. His problem is he’s kind of bland and mumbles his words. Not exactly star qualities.

Nicci Nix, 22, flew from Florence for fourteen hours to make it to the audition. The girl was pure sugar and so naïve, she had no clue Simon was making fun of her voice that sounded like it was helium-filled. Her singing voice was fortunately lower and less squeaky. She made no qualms that her personae is straight up pop by singing a Girls Aloud song. Plus, tell me her name was not made for stardom.

Haeley Vaughn, 16, knows she’s different and pretty adorable. She wants to be the first black, country-pop female singer. Her obstacle will be to overcome the lisp she has when she sings, the sometimes overzealous reverberation in her voice and sounding too much like Carrie.

Lacey Brown, 23, has tried before and failed, though the Top 50 is nothing to cry about. She got her second shot, but I still don’t believe that her voice is strong enough or that her personality pops enough to get much farther. I do commend her, though, for knowing who she is and having a distinct tone.

Hope Johnson,19, is so aw-shucks sweet that the judges couldn’t say no. They complimented her voice more than I would have but critiqued her phrasing. For my tastes, it was frail, too breathy and lacked a wide range, but it wasn’t bad. I’d like to see if she could improve in this short time. Plus anyone who says of her poor youth, “I thought lots of kids didn’t eat dinner,” is enough to make me give her a ticket. Fine! You got me, Idol, with your sobs stories. You got me.

BE GLAD YOU MISSED…
Austin Paul, oh, Austin Paul. Not too long ago, I knew guys like you. That guy who truly believes he’s a jack of all trades and can do no wrong. One who is God’s gift to women. He doesn’t just write songs; he composes them. He can shake it, AND he can carry that pigskin! The self-important vibe was oozing from every pore but, at least, led to one of the great lines of the night from Simon. “I think you could be very annoying, one of those voices after 30 seconds being like ‘Oh! Shut up!’ I’ve just been there, and that’s the kind of voice you’ve got.”

Kenny Everett, I know Mary J. Blige riffs endlessly, but you are not Mary. Singing only two words of the song and lengthening those riffs for an extra minute when they sound like a dozen cats on a hot, tin roof does not make you Mary or even Mary-like. And when they rejected him, he just pulled another song out of his Mary songbook. Painful.

Ty Hemmerling, were you content to see yourself on TV tonight in a bikini gyrating while all the judges walked out on you? And what was the point? To make me laugh, because I didn’t even laugh once. It’s these ploys that I hate the most, especially when it’s teased at the opening of the show as if the guy would be naked. Did I really think that would happen? No, but I thought it would at least be better than what we got. I never thought I’d say this, but bring back Bikini Girl! Way less assaulting on my eyes.

Stephanie Fisher is a fame whore. Again, I don’t get it! And I don’t understand why the producers continue to promote this kind of behavior. I understand the William Hungs of the world. They’re novelties and absurd. It’s like going to a carnival ::wink::wink:: and gawking at the human oddities. Things that warp our brains fascinate us. But a fairly typical-looking girl with platinum blond hair, channeling 80s Madonna? Not fascinating.

Adrian Chandtchi was a 17-year old kid with the voice a castrated monk, trapped in a 6’8” body. I would say more, but he is a teenager and so politely let them know he’s available for re-callbacks or a job. I can’t bust a teenager with manners.

WRAP IT UP
Hollywood Week is so close! Twenty-six contestants skied out of Denver straight to Hollywood, making a total of 181 to join up and sing in sunny Southern California. Plus, Ellen hooks up with the panel, and from the clips, she will be honest AND make you laugh. Soooooo excited! Let the fight for those coveted spots truly begin.

PARTING SHOTS
“You may have come in here just in time to rescue you from corporate hell.” – Simon

“How can four people tell you that you can’t sing, and you know you’re a good singer. Something has to be up with that.” – Kenny

“I am a beautiful man flower. I will blossom…” – Adrian

“Adrian, there’s like a small school boy trapped inside of you.” – Kara
“Either that or you’ve eaten one.” – Simon

For another opinion about these episodes, check out The Mile High Club by Erin Biglow.

Season 9, Episodes 7 & 8: Auditions: Denver & The Road to Hollywood (Originally aired February 2 & 3, 2010)

For more on American Idol, click here.

Photographs courtesy of Fox Broadcasting Company and IMDbPro.

Heroes: Just Another Brick In The Wall

My time might have been better spent watching paint dry on tonight’s metaphysical wall. A rant wouldn’t even make me feel better so let’s not waste anymore time.

“Maybe I deserve this, this nothing. Maybe I earned it.” – Sylar
I swear sometimes these titles say more than the writers really mean them to say. “The Wall” really did symbolize what I felt was the writers plowing at 90 miles an hour into a massive creative wall. SPLAT! After watching Supernatural’s season three mind trap episode (Dream a Little Dream of Me) done ten times better, I was disappointed at this lazy plotline. Everyone was expecting a Peter vs. Sylar showdown after last week, and though things weren’t predictable, I was incredibly bored. Most disappointing was Sylar being demoted to a screeching, crazy person and the ominous, yet anticlimactic revelation that Peter and Sylar would be trapped forever at the beginning of the episode. Yeah, right! It’s not even a teaser when you know you’d bet a trillion dollars it’s not at all likely.

Pan out to see the two enclosed in a dead city by a very tall, brick wall. This reminded me of a Twilight Zone episode, but more like the latter ones that weren’t as good. Their scenes involved no more than a constant cycle of battering the brick wall with a few sledge hammers and Sylar and Peter annoying the heck out of each other. To them, it felt like years, but we were constantly reminded that it was mere hours. It felt like years to me too, guys! There was no showdown and no eloquent expositions. Liken these two to Echo and Alpha in the last episode of Dollhouse, but Sylar’s psycho cure was only half as satisfying. That’s saying a lot. I do commend them for using an interesting way to bend time to their whims, i.e. a major shortcut. To have Sylar repent and rehabilitate all in his mind was smart. I just think that they could have used more exciting ways to shows this to us instead of having Peter and him bash a brick wall. I get the metaphor but still not impressed. So now, Peter and Sylar are teamed up and ready to save Emma. That is if they can get by Eli.

“My dad didn’t shoot anyone. If he had, you’d be dead.” – Claire
Thank you, Claire, for not being 75% brain dead all the time. I remember when you were cool, tossing yourself off bridges and testing your limits. Why test your limits when you almost never use them to DO anything?! You were even more fun than this during the lame season two storyline of Dark Claire. At least you had a gun!

Samuel uses a carnie, with an awesome power of being able to uncover anyone’s memory and project them, to torture his captives. Awesome! Is this at all useful? No way! But that’s why you don’t give a main character such an intrinsically lame power. I wish we got to see more stuff like that this season. The carnies didn’t even have to speak. Just allow them the opportunity to show us some different powers, pure flash and little substance, that you’ll never have to explore ever again. He forces Claire to witness memory after memory, and all are inevitably secrets.

My first issue was why were the flashbacks in black and white. It wasn’t like Noah was 10 and in the 1950s. I guess to finagle the age, black and white was better, but he looked pretty much the same to me. I choose to ignore that this could just be cliched direction, especially since the “Company Man” director returned for this episode. I don’t mind the constant reuse of a tool, but it seemed off here. On top of that, the reason “Company Man” was so good was because it was an origins story we hadn’t seen. It gave us the chance too look into Noah’s past and see why he is the man he is today. Riveting, I tell you!

However, now his past has been rewritten…again. Sure, it’s shocking. but that’s because we had no clue about most of it, much like Lauren’s introduction. It’s frustrating because once again the writers would rather rework the past to their liking than build a story that sustains going forward.  Anyways, Noah had a wife before Sandra who was killed by a special with telekinesis. She was carrying his unborn child, who also died. This man happened to be the first special Noah ever encountered and would also be the reason for his first kill. You see, Bennett goes all renegade and hunts for the man who murdered his wife. He ends up interrogating another guy with powers and is convinced that specials are so unique they must all know each other. So, he holds him at gunpoint with shaky hands, and when the guy tries to use his powers to defend himself, Noah ends up shooting him.

Claire seems pretty accepting of all that she learns. I’m even surprised to see that she doesn’t storm out when she realizes that his marriage to Sandra was practically arranged (ordered by the Company). He swears it was still love, though can anyone ever really believe Noah at this point? It helps that he keeps reminding her that the past is the past. But the breaking point is when she sees Noah over the recent Thanksgiving Day weekend, threatening Gretchen into telling him that Claire was at the carnival. Samuel believes he has won when Claire finally does storm out, but she reminds him that his manipulation can never change the fact that she loves her father, something he may never understand. This is some more recycled garbage because I swear Claire had this exact conversation with Sylar too….my head  hurts because this sucks so much.

WRAP IT UP
On a side note, Lauren tries to reason with Emma after she gets caught trying to steal medical equipment, but Emma stupidly ignores her and turns Lauren over to Samuel. Luckily, it seems like she gets away as I’m sure she’ll save someone in the final battle.

Usually pre-finale shows are action packed and exciting. This one was a major buzzkill, especially after two uneven but unique, recent episodes. I’m not sure how everyone will come together to save the world or save Emma or just save Charlie. Sylar and Peter have to battle Eli out of Matt’s basement to get to the carnival. And Samuel is planning to put on a nasty show in Central Park, but not before putting Noah and Claire in a trailer and burying it. Where is this battle going to even take place?

As long as it’s not in Sylar’s or Matt’s head, I’ll be okay. I’ve never been more excited for a finale, and sadly, not in a good way.

Season 4, Episodes 18: The Wall (originally aired February 1, 2010)

For more on Heroes, click here.

Mondays at 9/8C on NBC

Photographs courtesy of NBC and Adam Taylor

American Idol: Invasion of the Guest Judges

Something must have been in those Coca-Cola cups this week because Avril Lavigne was the first guest judge that Kara didn’t slobber all over. Wide-eyed Katy Perry threatened to punch Kara if she sang her song, “I Kissed A Girl,” and the always entertaining Neil Patrick Harris and Simon seemed to disagree on just about everyone. Thankfully (in most cases), NPH never backed down. I think Joe Jonas also made an appearance, but since I’m not a gushing tween and he barely spoke besides to vote, I’m not sure if that was a just dream or not.

While I count my blessings each week that Idol’s audition episodes have been shortened from two hours to one, this is the first week I really felt like I practically saw no one worth calling home about. But then I also don’t have to suffer through twice as many duds, so it all balances out. All in all, Hollywood and Dallas didn’t necessarily live up to their legacies as The Entertainment Capital or The Discovery Place of Kelly Clarkson, but there were some shining moments.

WATCH OUT FOR…
Andrew Garcia, 23. Seeing a man playing with his cute son, talking about his parents providing more for him than they had in their gang-filled youth, and then watching his dad cry with pride really got to me. His take on Maroon 5’s “Sunday Morning” blew me away.

Tasha Layton, 26, is a personal assistant by day and a minister at night. Her unconventional career matches her unconventional sound. She’s easy-going, pretty, earthy and confident to boot.

Lloyd Thomas, 29, is a big teddy bear with a big voice and a big personality. Though his vocal talent is undeniable, the judges want to see the same enthusiasm when he performs as when they’re just chatting with him.

Dave Pittman, 27, joins a very small bunch of contestants who knocked me to the ground with their auditions. With a lot of extra screen time and the confession of his Tourette’s syndrome, I knew he had to be decent, but he was nothing short of fantastic. Sure, I get down on the sob stories sometimes, but there are those special circumstances when the story is just so touching and empowering that I can’t help but fall for it. With a condition that can so easily make you an outlier — especially in a singing and performance competition, David puts himself front and center with an easy swagger and a voice that proves it all.

Maegan Wright, 20, was a hot mess. And I mean that in the Cobra Starship kind of way. Essentially, I’m loving it, hell yes. She walked in like a peppy cheerleader on too much Red Bull, but then transformed into this sullen, emotional performer and morphed into a Celine Dion belter. Her audition just kept getting better and better.

Christian Spear,16, was diagnosed with cancer when she was a child and has been in remission for eight years. It’s clear that she’s an extremely mature and fearless teenager. I was dazzled by the way she attacked Etta James’s “All I Can Do Is Cry” with all the depth it demands. More importantly, she impressed all the judges too.

NEED MORE FINE THAN FAB? CALL…
Jim Ranger, 27, had the guts to sing an original tune. Though his voice doesn’t excite me too much, the judges find it authentic. But they have doubts that he can do it all: being a pastor, husband and father to three.

Mary Powers, 28, has a powerful, raspy voice. She was also smart enough to just hold her tongue when Simon called her look reminiscent of a rocker cliché.

Kimberly Carver, 26, is a throwback to those smooth, jazzy days. Simon is the only one on the panel who shares my opinion that Kimberly’s more lounge singer than idol. Though I wouldn’t have said no like Simon, I agree that she didn’t bring anything current or exciting to the table besides a good vocal and a tepid original.

Todrick Hall, 24, actually sang an original song and got me tapping my foot. Instead of performing some abstract, drop in the well number, he wrote a tune about the Idol experience and included the judges. It was cute and okay, a little syrupy, but he had a good voice and a great hook to go with it.

Erica Rhodes, 23, is an original. That’s for sure. As an ex- Barney and Friends pint-sized star (totally remembered the clip they showed!) turned grad school, play dominatrix, it didn’t really matter that she only had a so-so voice. She had confidence, eagerness and earnestness with a touch of sweetness. She won’t go far, but I’ll be happy to watch her accomplish her dream of proving she can be more than a Barney star. Though she did have to sing the degrading theme song to get to that point.

Chris Golightly, 25, was one of Kara and Randy’s favorites. There’s no doubt that he has a great voice and interesting back story, but he bothers me a little by over-embellishing like he has to overcompensate for something.

There were not as many fantastic passer-bys this week, but keep an eye on Stephanie Daulong, 20, who’s image-ready with a Jewel-like voice and a hippie vibe.

BE GLAD YOU MISSED…
Neil Goldstein said, “In my heart is the love to perform, the love to touch the souls of others. To exhilarate, to exaltate, to exalt in what it is to be human, to be vulnerable, to have strengths and weaknesses and passions and loves and hates and everything bundled up inside until you can let it out.” Yes, those exact words came out of someone’s mouth on television. Oh, and he was also drawing a heart on the bathroom mirror with lipstick around his face. This can’t be real.

Austin Fullmer is a combination of Mick Jagger swagger and an aerobic Olivia Newton John. If you didn’t think this was humanly possible, I‘m here to tell you it is. “Katy Perry and Kara Dioguardi like lit up. They’re like this is what I like. This is sexy. A real man came in here. And Simon, something about it, he couldn’t handle it.” Whatever helps you sleep at night, dude.

WRAP IT UP
In the end, Dallas spat out 23 contestants, while Hollywood mustered up 31 hopefuls. I will note that it was nice to have some people of my generation on the panel, but I did perceive a greater sense of entitlement, more humiliating laughter and fewer noteworthy critiques. NPH always makes me happy whether he’s playing a character or is just himself, and I loved Katy Perry for not taking any of Kara’s lip or buying into her fake, girl power gang ups just because they’ve worked together. But I’m about ready for Hollywood week to just get here. February 9th can’t come soon enough.

PARTING SHOTS
“Just take a deep breath. We’re rooting for you.” – Kara
“I know. I know.” – Neil Goldstein
“Or we’re not…” – Simon

“Is she talking to a puppy or a person?” – Katy about Kara

“This isn’t a Lifetime movie, sweetheart.” – Katy

“You make me feel dirty…It takes a lot for me to feel dirty.” – Katy
“Yeah, I‘m sure with THAT top.” – Jason

“My goal today, Kara, is to shatter the dreams of thousands. If I can make 2 – 3 dozen people cry, I feel like I’ve done my job.” – NPH

“Vanessa, if anyone ever asks me in my life what my nightmares look and sound like, I’m gonna refer to that. That’s what keeps me up at night.” – Simon

For another opinion about these episodes, check out Hooray for Hollywood/Don’t Mess With Texas by Erin Biglow.

Season 9, Episodes 5 & 6: Auditions: Los Angeles & Dallas (Originally aired January 26 & 27, 2010)

For more on American Idol, click here.

Photographs courtesy of Fox Broadcasting Company and IMDbPro.

Heroes: The Art of Destruction

With only two episodes left of Heroes’s fourth season, it’s no surprise our favorite characters seemed to be running around with their heads chopped off this week. Samuel had to act fast or lose his following after he committed all those earth-shattering atrocities. (Pun intended!) Peter scrambled to find Sylar and save Emma and possibly a whole lot of other people as well, while Sylar turned to Matt for help. And Noah and Claire attempted to capture Samuel with different approaches. Did a lot of this episode make sense, from a story aspect or a character development standpoint? Not really, but especially after last week’s episode these past few weeks of episodes, I’ve given up on the idea of consistency or continuity when it comes to Heroes. There’s no point fighting it anymore. I’m just going with the flow.

“Why don’t you just try going to class for once? You say you want a normal life, right?” – Gretchen
Claire’s ready to make up with her father, but when she arrives at his doorstep, she finds Lauren, Primatech files and tons of information on the recent “natural” disaster. I guess this is better than catching your dad in flagrante, but even seeing all of Samuel’s destruction doesn’t curb her anger over her father’s return to the work that tore apart her family and that he promised to leave behind. After storming out and not bothering to wait for his return, she returns back to the dorm where she continues to spew venom.

What would you do if you had a regenerative roommate that you had the hots for who only complained and talked about me, me, and me? Well, I’d want to chop off their head and watch it grow back. That’d be interesting, but I’d like to think that I would give them a swift kick in the rear or at least talk to the Housing Board about putting in a transfer; maybe get that sweet single down the hall. But more likely, I’d react like Gretchen, who is visibly annoyed when Claire decides to take it upon herself to save the carnies. She even says no to allowing her to borrow her car, again, but caves. Seriously, Claire would have to do a lot more than some hand holding to budge me.

Back at the carnival, everyone is scared of Samuel, and who wouldn’t be?! He pretty much leveled a town, which I thought last week was the field they were planning on building their carnie utopia, but no. It was an entire town, where 200 people have been found dead and the count’s still rising. Lydia doesn’t understand how Samuel could commit such a crime when they were supposed to want the same things. Then, she throws an even stronger jab by also pointing out that no one respects him, but he sees her power play and raises one vow to win his “family” back because he needs them.

When Claire arrives, Samuel still hasn’t put any plans into action, but you know he’s brewing some kind of redemption plot. He seems completely shaken up about what he’s done, wishing he could take it all back. But Claire believes the only way for Samuel to save his family, if he truly cares, is to turn himself in. Already knowing her father is on the way (if not there already), she calls him.

Noah’s planted on a hill with Lauren, finally glimpsing Samuel and Claire in his sniper rifle scope. (I want to scream at him to take the shot, but it’s more in the hopes of taking down Claire whose flip-flopping gets on my nerves and also always screws things up.) He answers his cell and tells Claire that he’s ready to take Samuel down, but she says, to save as many people as possible, Samuel has agreed to turn himself over. Lauren’s thinks it’s suspect. And she’s right because not soon after Samuel begins to give his farewell speech, he’s shot, though not fatally. And then, all hell breaks loose as carnie after carnie is mowed down. Now, anyone who watches the show would know that Noah would never do something so reckless. He had one main target, and if he’d take the shot, he would not have missed. Also, he wouldn’t have shot Claire in the neck, as much as I was begging him to.

It all comes to light that this was Samuel’s plan all along, and unlike last week’s sappy Samuel, I’m energized to see the baddie we all wanted to emerge take his place. Did he really order Eli to start taking down their own, killing Lydia in the process? Oh, yeah he did! YES! Sure, it makes no sense compared to everything Samuel has ever done, but it’s way scarier than last week’s village annihilation with all the nobodies that we could care less about. (I guess since we don’t even know any of the mute carnies, they’re nobodies too but whatever! He’s going Full Metal Jacket on everyone!)

Lauren takes one in the arm and reveals she’s not as tough as she seems. Sometimes I forget that she’s a normal person who’s probably not used to fatal injuries. And we rarely see Noah get hurt because he’s often too valuable or just that good. Noah is captured by Eli and taken to Samuel, who milks it for all its worth. Samuel puts on a show, cradling a shot and dying Lydia in his arms. But couldn’t he let her go in peace? No! Where’s the nefarious character-building in that! Instead he kisses her and, essentially, transfers the memory that this was his entire plan. She’s too weak to fight back or tell anyone else and so she takes the secret with her. Samuel takes a mournful moment to speak to his congregation about the evil, normal people and how they’ll never let them live in peace alone. Finally, he’s created a villain for them to hate, whose deeds are greater than his own past acts. Plus, Edgar appears right in time to see his lady’s lifeless body and jump on the bandwagon. The fact that Noah also happens to be Claire’s father makes her another perfect representation of everything the carnies now want to destroy. And we are left with the picture of Samuel assembling an army that will no longer stand idly by.

“Are you in my mind again?” – Matt, “Please that’s so two months ago!” – Sylar
Peter is still having visions, though this time they’re becoming clearer. Now, he can see that Sylar is trying to help Emma while Doyle is controlling her. He makes a visit to his mother who’s still grieving over Nathan and unsure of what to put on his headstone. (Don’t focus your continuity on these little points, writers! Let’s maybe focus more on interesting plot points and character choices making sense.) They confer over their shared visions, and she says that it’s too soon after Nathan’s death for Peter to see Sylar and makes it clear that she doesn’t really accept the idea that the psychopath can change so quickly. (Yeah, I’m with you on that, but they’re not paying ME to write the show.) But Peter believes that Sylar is the key.

Elsewhere in Heroes-verse, Sylar seeks out Matt for two interesting reasons. The first is that he wants to see if you can lead a truly normal life as a person with abilities. Sylar seems to feel Matt has accomplished this, and I want to remind him that only two months ago they were doing the brain tango. He asks politely holds a finger up to Matt’s wife’s head and orders him to take away his powers, but Matt can’t no matter how hard he tries. Or so it seems when, in fact, he just has a better plan. That plan is to trap Sylar within his own head within his worst nightmare of being alone forever. He then proceeds to bury the limp, mental trapped psycho behind a wall in his basement. At first I’m thinking, won’t he need nourishment otherwise he’d die and then decay and become all stinky? And even if he won’t, does Matt really want to live with a “sleeping” psychopath in his basement? Last time he tried a mind rearrangement, that didn’t turn out so well. Plus, what if he did want to sell the house and move. Who’d want that shoddy brick work?

In the end, Peter shows up, takes Matt’s power and realizes that his visions are true, and Sylar is there. He heads to the basement and is shocked to find out what Matt’s done. Though Matt argues with Peter to stay the course, Peter truly believes he’ll need Sylar to save Emma and all the others who may get hurt, and he jumps into Sylar’s head without heeding Matt’s warnings. (I smell an impending showdown.)

WRAP IT UP
Though it pains me to say, Tracy did make an appearance at the end of the episode. Apparently, she’s the one person Noah trusts when things go bad, and he gave Lauren instructions to call her if things went south. I was about as excited to see her as she looked to receive that phone call.

It’s great (infuse sarcasm) that it took almost all season for something truly exciting to happen at the carnival. It was supposed to be the main storyline, right? I imagined that putting this large group of abilities-ladled people in one place would have meant a whole lot of cool, new powers to check out. Unfortunately, Edgar hasn’t had very much to do lately and Lydia’s power was just like all the other vision powers we’ve had, except they just dressed it up with tattoos and called it empathy. Eli is one of the most predicable villains ever. Anytime you need someone to eavesdrop on a conversation or hold someone hostage, he’s there. Hopefully now, with a real fight a-brewing, we’ll get to see some real action.

QUOTABLES
”I love them. I need them. I just have to prove my worth.” – Samuel

“You don’t have to worry about me.” – Noah,  “That’s not an option anymore.” – Lauren

“You’re going to be normal? I’m sorry, that ship sailed 50 murders ago.” – Matt

“You will purge me of these powers, Parkman, or I will use them. Use them all.” – Sylar

“I know your secret. I know you’re afraid of living forever alone. Welcome to Hell.” – Matt

“It’s time to show the world what we are…and what we can do.” – Samuel

Season 4, Episodes 17: The Art of Deception (originally aired January 25, 2010)

For more on Heroes, click here.

Mondays at 9/8C on NBC

Photographs courtesy of NBC Universal, Adam Taylor and Chris Haston.

Legion: Hark! The Angels Sing In Horror

It’s not often that the villain of a religious movie is God. (And no, I really don’t mean A god. I do mean God with a capital “G”.) So I wasn’t sure what to make of Legion, an apocalyptic tale, where Michael has defected from God’s army in an attempt to save mankind by protecting a pregnant waitress and her soon-to-be-born son. Yes. I know that is a lot to swallow. And such a premise raises the immediate questions of why has God chosen to smite all of mankind and what’s the kid got to do with it. Legion doesn’t try with any visible effort to answer the big questions and focuses more on entertaining it’s audience with sweet special effects, gun fights, egregious swearing and some deadpan humor.

I really wanted to hate the film, and almost did, but Scott Stewart pulled off such stylish (if cheesy) fare that it at least, had some entertaining moments and a ton of silly action. Stewart is best known for his special effects work on such visually splendid movies like Sin City, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, Superman Returns and the last two Pirates of the Caribbean. You can tell he understands the best ways to blow things up and blow guys away. Add a solid cast, and the film is actually watchable, and that’s a true compliment given writers Peter Schink and Stewart put to paper a whole lot of nothing supported by weak dialogue. A cool concept was present, and the tools were ready to be used, but the backbone of Legion was never put in place. And that is its greatest detriment.

At the onset, we see an archangel fall (obviously, Michael), but we don’t get to see how and who for some reason. Michael reminds us that the last time God was angry with man, he sent a flood, yet this time he chooses to zombiefy the weakest to do his bidding, a plan that’s clearly not as grand and takes way more effort. Then, there’s the idea that an unborn child’s chance to live and be the next messiah will save everyone, but we get no explanation to how and why, and no one has the right mind to ask either. There are so many gaping holes, it’s like watching Swiss cheese.

Most of the action is centered at a diner (aptly named Paradise Falls), in the middle of a desert in the middle of nowhere, around a ragged bunch of common archetypes who are stuck there and forced to join the good (or is it bad since it’s against God) fight. Dennis Quaid plays the gruff diner owner Bob, who doesn’t get his son Jeep’s (Lucas Black) devotion to ready-to-burst waitress Charlie (Adrianne Palicki from Friday Night Lights), who doesn’t return his affection. Percy (Charles S. Dutton) is Bob’s one-armed sidekick and diner chef. The passerbys are Kyle, a mysterious, gun-toting stranger, played by Tyrese Gibson, and the rich family with a broken-down car, including Sandra, Howard and their wild daughter Audrey, played by Jon Tenney, Kate Walsh and Willa Holland respectively. The film culminated in a predicable battle between Michael and Gabriel (Kevin Durand), toting a suped up, spiked mace and bullet-deflecting wings. Who knew angels were up on the newest technology?

The cast executes what their given, and pretty well, since they were given very little to work with, but are, truly, elevated by Paul Bettany’s portrayal of the stoic Michael. Out of all the unbelievable mush, he’s the one thing I really believed, as he fully commanded every scene he was in and word he was given.

And if Bettany gets the best performer award, the best guest appearance would go to Jeanette Miller, who portrayed a sweet, old lady turned potty-mouthed, ceiling-scaling neck chomper. Her turn elicited the most laugh and gasps of the entire film.

Watching Legion is like watching Supernatural after drinking a bottle of scotch, jumping in after missing the first 20 episodes and skipping straight to the two-hour finale. While, if I had a time machine, I would never pay $11.00 to see the film in the theater again, I would recommend it for rent, especially if you like horror-action hybrids and/or are an atheistic. Not to offend, but clearly, portraying a vengeful God isn’t going to drum up too many Christian fans. But it’s worthy enough to fill a rainy, boring Sunday afternoon if only to revel in all the machine gunplay.

American Idol: Scoop Up Shania Please!

Chi-town is like my home away from home. I spent four, very formative, years of my life on Lake Michigan, and I’m always excited to see what talent will pour out of this hidden gem. So you should have seen my face when barely anything trickled out. Really, it was that bad! Luckily, Orlando saved some Idol face.

And is it me, or has this season’s number of sob stories sky rocketed? If you skinned your knee on the way to the audition, it’s reason enough for an introduction package! Let me be clear. Right now, I just want to know if you can sing. All the other stuff can be filled in later, please.

As a guest judge, Shania Twain raises the bar. She wasn’t mean, but she didn’t seem like a pansy. She was unafraid to make fun of herself and laugh at the ridiculous. And she provided realistic musical and performance critiques. Now that I see her, she would have been a perfect Paula replacement or, better yet, Kara swap. Joining the judges on the second leg, Kristin Chenoweth brought a big bright, shiny ball o’ sunshine. She didn’t fare as well as her predecessor, but nothing will reach the low of Victoria Beckham’s non-existent contribution.

WATCH OUT FOR….
Katelyn Epperly, 19, may not want it as much as her mother does for her, but the girl has a beautiful, mature voice. It’s nice to have a breath of fresh air, right out of the gate. She sort of looks like Adrianne Palicki (Friday Night Lights). She has that cheerleader sheen but rocks a huge, very visible tat on her right shoulder, so she may turn out to be that girl next door girls with edge. And Idol, please no more stories about sad divorced families. My parents are divorced, but that doesn’t mean I deserve a ribbon.

Charity Vance, 16, is a little timid, but that can be worked on. You can’t duplicate her intriguing and unique voice. Her parents own a salon, where she sings and sweeps. I’d suggest she branch out and maybe try some community theater musicals, but whatever works.

Angela Martin, 28, has a sob story if I’ve ever heard one. Her father had recently been killed the first time she made it to Hollywood week, and last season, she made it to the top 50, only to be sidelined by a court date. The beautiful thing is a hospital saw her story and her disabled daughter during her first audition and offered to take care of her baby until she turned 21. So, Idol does truly inspire people more than one night a year. She’s proven her vocal skills in the past, so I don’t doubt that she’ll go far.

Jermaine Purifoy, 24, had a nice swagger and a killer voice. He didn’t even look like he had an ounce of nervousness in him. For the first time this season, I can see a little star. Now, I’m excited.

Shelby Dressel, 18, lost the use of the jaw muscles on the right side of her face, and you can see her insecurity at times. She’s nervous, forgets her words and drops a holy expletive. But it made her more endearing. The judges liked her personality and felt she had potential, but I kind of loved her.

Matthew Lawrence, 25, has a raw and untrained voice. The sweet, big lug looks like he wouldn’t hurt a fly, but we learned he robbed a bank with a BB gun at 15 and got four years behind bars. Idol represents a chance to regain the things he lost, and he deserves it. Yes, he needs to work on his follow through and pronunciation, but some people are just born with it and only need a little fine tuning.

NEED FINE BUT NOT FAB? CALL…
John Park, 20, is the kind of talented, a cappella singer who can woo the women but makes the guys go, “what’s the big deal?” He has a great voice but is overshadowed by Shania’s comments (which weren’t intended to sound dirty but, well, did) and the madness they invoked. At this point as Randy pushes Shania down the dirty mind well, I realize that I would love to see her as a judge. She’s sweet and upbeat but a little bit sassy. FOX, are you writing this down?

Paige Dechausse, 21, almost died when she went into anaphylactic shock due to her asthma. The cherry on the cake was this happened while in a singing lesson. The doctors said she’d probably die or have brain damage. She‘s good but Simon thought she was indulgent and sang to herself. Paige intrigues me only because she’s the first person the judges have really been torn over. Simon says no, but Shania and Kara team up to convince Randy that she needs another chance.

Let’s not forget those flashes in the pan who the judges deem too boring for camera time. Kasi Bedford, 19, and Brittany Starr James, 22, were both cute and bubbly. Justin Ray, 20, should have been told by one of his family members or friends that his awful hair might overshadow his good voice. Keith Semple, 27, has that indie rocker voice that often fits in better in a smokey, dive bar than on the Idol stage, but he could add a different flavor to the show. And Marcus Jones, 18, seems likeable and confident with an easy voice.

BE GLAD YOU MISSED…
I thought it could never be true, but I found a musical I could never like. It’s titled “Amy Lang. Amy Lang! AMY LANG! The Musical.” Amy accomplished many things during her audition. She practically molested Ryan, had the audacity to attempt Aretha Franklin’s “Dr. Feelgood”. She, also, faked passing out and then she displayed her greatest talent, pectoral popping. Or was it boob boxing?

Curly Newman proved why no one but Maxwell should sing Maxwell‘s mostly falsetto “This Woman’s Worth”. It’s utterly comical, that’s why. I usually hate when the judges just crack up uncontrollably and pretty much humiliate the contestant, but there are those few, like this big, round man, who should sound more like Barry White than a munchkin, that brings out the giggles in you.

Harold “The Champion” Davis believes he’s talented, but he couldn’t come up with a better excuse for his poor performance than the overused allergies bit. Allergies don’t make someone with a good voice act like a total creeper. I didn’t feel bad about laughing with the judges until he burst into tears. He made me really feel uncomfortable before, but when the tears started rolling, I had a sudden compulsion to fast forward. Phew, awkwardness averted!

Theo Glinton wants to be a chain salon owner, a superstar and a fashion designer. His best friend is also his assistant. He wore tiny mirrors and feathers on his face and couldn’t find his way out of the room without help. He’s very special.

Jarrod Norrell gave it up to God before he started his rendition of “Amazing Grace,” but he devilishly snapped after Kara likened his voice to a lawnmower and then the judges rejected him. I didn’t think security would come back so soon, but crazy contestant #2 had to be escorted out, this time forcibly with handcuffs.

WRAP IT UP
“That Don’t Impress Me Much” was the theme song of the Chicago rounds, and not only because of Shania. Only 13 move on to Hollywood while Orlando produced the mirror opposite with 31. The good news is that this week was the first time I actually got excited about contestants. And that eagerness to see what someone will perform next is what Idol is all about.

PARTING SHOTS
“Do you find that when you sing at home a lot of animals turn up outside the house?”

“No…Tip toe that way.” – Kara

“Yes, you have a beautiful bottom end…You have nice lips.” – Shania

“I am the next American Idol, and if I’m not the next American Idol, I am going to be in the bottom three.” – Theo

“You walked in like a cocktail stick, and then sang as if you sat on a cat.” – Simon

“You’re crazy nodding when you were listening to your sister like Whitney [Houston] being reborn. And, like, she hasn’t…” – Simon

Season 9, Episodes 3 & 4: Auditions: Chicago & Orlando (Originally aired January 19 & 20, 2010)

For more on American Idol, click here.

Photographs courtesy of Fox Broadcasting Company and IMDbPro.

Heroes: Seriously Shakes Things Up

Did I just enter the Twilight Zone? I couldn’t stop asking myself this question because the episode felt like a completely different show. It was aptly title “Pass/Fail” because it was a little bit of both, and it’s one that’s got me completely torn. The major plot points included Hiro facing the consequences of his time meddling, Samuel and Vanessa strolling down memory lane and Claire and Sylar facing off. But everything from the writing, to the direction and just the overall tone of the episode was out of the ordinary. There was action and romance, tension and witty banter. It was pretty much everything I’d be hoping to get from Heroes for the past two seasons.

The plot moved forward, characters deepened and things surprised me. I couldn’t  have asked for more, except that this came out of nowhere! Did some assistant in the writers room decide to go on a blog after boycotting technology for 2.5 years and then muster up the balls to tell his boss that people have been tearing the show a new one? Oh, and wait, boss! Here are some nifty ways you can actually make the show interesting. Or is it the “Dollhouse/Lost” phenomenon? Must all science fiction shows flounder around in storytelling confusion without an end in sight? (Though the word is that this season’s early February season finale is a huge cliffhanger.) I’m sure I could have gone on wondering, but I really needed my brain cells to focus really hard on the TV so I wouldn’t get lost.

And that’s the part that really irked me since television is as much entertainment as it is comfort, for me. I don’t like to be messed with or teased by a show I’ve invested time (and DVD money!) in. And inconsistency is intolerable to a consistent viewer. So what was so jarring you say? I would be a bad recapper if I didn’t, at least, clue you into this week’s feature presentation, so here’s a quick return to our regularly scheduled program.

“The basic building blocks of our lives, and we have the same blocks, yet here we are. Content college coed and me. How did we end up so different?” – Sylar
Gretchen tries to comfort Claire, who’s still depressed, but heads off to class when things get a little to touchy for her liking. Thankfully, for the my viewing pleasure (though not for Claire), Sylar’s the substitute teacher. He wants to know why Claire is the one who can help him and shows her his new tattoo. He says he’s holding Gretchen hostage to force her hand. Sylar uses this time to give a lecture, pointing out on the board how similar their pasts are. She spits back that the difference is Sylar’s a psychopath and attempts to storm out, but Sylar won’t let  her leave. Instead, he telekinetically holds her down and plants one on her.

Getting another Sylar-Claire pairing is truly magical. He always pushed Claire to be more powerful and fearless, and we get treated to Sylarific quips. He uses powers acquired from Lydia to, basically, read Claire’s soul and figures out that she’s like  him. She doesn’t let people in or allow herself to be vulnerable. He points to the Gretchen memories he read and tells her there’s something significant between them. She takes his pause as a chance to escape by jabbing a pencil into his eye. No really, there was a pen jutting out of his bloody eye! She reaches Gretchen and confesses that Sylar was right, and she wants to step out and be more like her. Gretchen says that maybe Sylar will become human if he loses his powers. But it’s not really her lady love because Gretchen morphs into Sylar, and it becomes apparent that her friend was never in danger. However, this little scare does propel Claire to take a leap and hold Gretchen’s hand for all to see, including Sylar.

“I saved the world… Twice.” – Hiro
Mohinder plans on returning to India to make things right with his old girl Mira. He says goodbye to Noah, Ando and Hiro and is completely self-absorbed and oblivious to the fact that Hiro’s not looking so good. After Mohinder leaves, Hiro passes out and ends up at the diner. But how? Is this real or not? It’s never clear, but I’m just going to assume it was one of those “at death’s doorstep” cerebral moments. In the real world, Ando is rushing Hiro to a hospital where they say they have to operate even though the procedure is risky. But in LaLa Land, the dead Adam Monroe greets him and says that a judge will declare his fate in the case Hiro vs. The World. The judge turns out to be his father who says that Hiro broke the Heroes code by altering time for his own gain, a crime punishable by death.

We take a trip down the Heroes rabbit hole, so forgive me if things get a little crazy. My brain had a hard time trying to understand why they fit some random movie into the middle of a TV show, and then I realized that the movie was kind of cool so why not enjoy it. Hiro’s past is paraded before him, usually in ways to dispute his hero-worthiness. Ando is his attorney, and witnesses include the young pairing of Ando and Kimiko from the fair. But the best part (besides more of the devilishly, charming Adam) was a cameo by the old Sylar from Season 1 and getting to see him rattle off the names of all the heroes he’s killed. Hiro asserts that the world was better with Charlie in it, but when it is his turn to testify, he changes his tune. He owns up to the fact that his motives changed. He used to follow a strict code, like when he wouldn’t bend time to save his father, but as time went on he wanted to right the wrongs in the world. He says that he may, in fact, be guilty. And his father doesn’t argue with him.

Back in the real world, will Hiro make it through the surgery? This is mirrored by his imaginary journey. Speaking of imaginary with his family and friends besides him, Hiro walks towards the bright white light where he’s greeted by  his mother. He wants to leave with honor and changes his plea to guilty, but a katana materializes and his mother urges him to fight Adam. A crazy, awesome, but “huh?” kind of moment ensues as the two sword fight. Hiro eventually kills Adam, and his mother kisses him and tells him she’s proud. He says he’s ready to go, but she tells him he has a destiny to fulfill.

“This is your fantasy, and it’s beautiful, and I’m happy for you. But it isn’t me. My life isn’t here.” – Vanessa
I have to say kudos to the director Michael Nankin for some of the most beautifully shot scenes of the season. Samuel and Victoria reminisce, but she’s already out the door. The wordsmith weaves her right back in, and what unfolds  is a true love story. It isn’t melodramatic and, for just dropping a bomb on us, it felt very organic. I believe this is achieved mostly because Kate Vernon and Robert Knepper acted their pants off.

Samuel’s stories of their childhood really loosen Vanessa up, and by the end they’re enveloped in their old dreams and old feelings. Samuel decides to show her what he’s been planning, and it turns out to be the cottage she always dreamed of in the middle of nowhere. He tells Vanessa that it was all for  her, but even though she clearly cares for him, she can’t leave her life. It’s too much for Samuel to handle, and he tells  her it’s time to get her home. And you know he’s not the type to sit in his room and cry about it, so instead he heads to the diner where they shared a milkshake earlier and flips out on the waitress. He pins all his pains on this one, poor woman and then levels the place and the home he built for him and Vanessa.

WRAP IT UP
If I could liken “Pass/Fail” to any other episode, it’d be the bomb episode of Grey’s Anatomy or the entire Denny Ghost arc or the one where she drowned and saw her mom who was able to forgive her. Is it so hard to believe that a new intern would manage to have a one night stand with a man who turns out to be her boss? Or that a doctor would cut the L-Vac to ensure her patient, who she happened to fall in love with, would get a new heart? Hey, I think not. But a doctor sticking their precious hand into a patient with a bomb in their gut? WHAAAAT?! That’s when my eyes squint, I scrunch up my nose and suddenly, I’m a little weary.

Even after writing this article, I feel a little more love towards the episode than I felt when I started. And I realize a lot of my issues were because it left a feeling that the writers haven’t spent anytime trying to figure things out until this moment. And then there’s the fact that they crammed so much awesomeness into one episode when they could have applied the crescendo effect over the course of the season. There’s also the feeling that this is just a fluke and they won’t be able to hold this up over the handful of episodes we have left, but I welcome the jolt it gave me, no matter how jarring.

PARTING SHOTS
And tonight’s winner is….Adam Monroe

“And as long as you saved his girlfriend, you could kill some more, willy nilly?”

“Objection, your honor! He’s reciting the opening to Quantum Leap.”

Season 4, Episodes 16: Pass/Fail (originally aired January 18, 2010)

For more on Heroes, click here.

Mondays at 9/8C on NBC

Photographs courtesy of NBC and Chris Haston

American Idol: Hotlanta Pants on the Beantown Ground

It almost seems as if American Idol has been a never-ending stream of controversy since the season 8 finale. (And another punch came when Simon recently confirmed that this will be his last season.) But Idol wasted no time in confronting Paula’s exit and Ellen’s new job, and I can’t say that the sadness of losing one judge overshadowed the happiness of gaining another. I’m extremely excited for this season and to experience the new feeling and voice that Ms. DeGeneres will, I’m confident, bring to the table. I refuse to spend my time mourning! Oh! And there’s that other pesky star that will be born right before our eyes. Sure, the real show doesn’t start for awhile, but I can’t wait to hear the voices that’ll bring us there.

Victoria Beckham was the distinguished guest for the week’s Boston auditions. Though she was pretty to look at, she didn’t really have any useful critiques. (This is a singing show! Right?) But kudos for having the English cahones to confront Simon for his unwanted sass, even if she may have missed the memo that some of us watch purely for that reason. Luckily, the talented and reputable Mary J. Blige joined the trio in Atlanta and actually ADDED substance to the panel.

Very, very few contestants stood out as potential stars, and even fewer were at the level of past winners like Kelly Clarkson and Carrie Underwood, or even fourth placer Chris Daughtry. However, who can even recall Kris Allen from the audition rounds? You probably blinked and missed him. So, our American Idol really could be among the standouts and fly-bys of this week. Now, pay attention!

KEEP AN EYE ON…

Luke Staffer, 24, epitomizes the reason I watch Idol, to find my next mid-evening snack. He’s scrumptious and easy on the ears.

Benjamin Bright, 25, has an easy, breezy attitude and a pitch perfect voice.

Tyler Grady, 19, was set up to be a laughable dud, but this 70s throwback came out of left field. He ended up wooing the ladies…and the guys.

Katie Stevens, 16, needs to be in the top 24. Besides the cute boys with sweet voices, I watch Idol for the youngins with raw, undiscovered talent that can be groomed and who blossom in front of our eyes.

Bryan Walker, 25, could totally be the star of the real life Cop Rock. The man with a badge, gun and pipes has won me over so far.

Jermaine Sellers, 18, killed “What If God Was One Of Us”. Rarely do I want to hear a male singing that song, but he makes it his own and makes the folk tune sound cool as well. I especially love how he called his mom first and then told the camera she was going to call the whole neighborhood now with such earnestness.

Jess Wolfe, 24, may have a Lisa Loeb look but her voice is all soul. Jennifer Hirsh’s, 22, voice is like a throwback to scatting jazz days, and Tisha Holland’s, 18, voice made me stop and rewind, partially because she’s so good and also because we only got about three seconds with her. I’m sad they showed so little of all three of these contestants.

NEED FINE BUT NOT FABULOUS? CALL…

Maddy Curtis, 16, should get a ticket just for being such a strong and sweet girl. Her parents are those rare types of people who seem truly selfless and happy. Not only does one of her brothers have Down Syndrome, but her parents have adopted other brothers, for her, who have the same affliction. I know so much of AI is focused on talent-free people and sob stories, but I think her voice is good, sad story or not.

Amadeo Diricco, 28, growled a lot with an odd choice in “Muddy Waters,” but he may have been hiding a good voice in there. He was powerful and confident and all around nice. Plus, he should be around for a little bit since they visited his big Italian family at his home. He spoke of some wife, but there were a lot of ginormous men to greet him went he got through to the next round.

Justin Williams, 27, is a cancer survivor and a breath of fresh air. His vocal style is like Michael Bublé, which he explains as alternative-pop-soul. I would have said more Top 40, but he can call himself 100 genres if he keeps singing like that.

Keia Johnson, 26, didn’t win the top prize in the Miss America pageant, but she won Miss Congeniality and likes it better that way. First, no one who likes pageants enough to enter one, would ever believe that statement, and neither do I. But she seems to be a genuine person and has a fine, yet nondescript voice. The judges went ga-ga over her, though.

Vanessa Wolf, 19, is straight-up country, right down to her tiny town, her mother living down the road, her feelings of being stuck and her country twang. Her voice is a tiny bit shrill, but as Kara said she’s “authentic” country. You feel it when she sings, but Simon foreshadowed that if she doesn’t toughen up, Hollywood could swallow her whole.

Holly Harden, 20, dressed up as a slutty guitar and sometimes sounds like a man, but her voice isn’t that bad. If she does well, hopefully, she keeps that outfit in a musty corner in an attic somewhere and only brings it out for Halloween.

Mallory Halley, 20, has a sweet and strong, country-ready voice, but she was so BORING! She’s pretty, which is always a leg up, but does not negate a lackluster personality. And when her mouth wasn’t open, she looked like she’d rather be anywhere else or just giggled and lifted up her chin because I guess she thinks that’s cute.

It’s clear that Antonio “Skii Bo Ski” Wheeler, 22, could care less about touching people through his music, even though his voice is actually good. But he definitely wanted to touch Kara and Mary, though in inappropriate ways, and his cocky attitude and nonsense comments almost turned Randy’s vote from a yes to a no and really rubbed Simon the wrong way.

Ashley Rodriguez, 21, is smiley, pretty, polished AND talented. Prime competition in my book.

You can see the desire in Leah Laurenti’s, 22, eyes and hear her passion as she speaks. Leah’s biggest hurdle will be opening up and breaking out of her shell. It’s time to unleash the diva within, girl.

BE GLAD YOU MISSED…

Janet McNamara, 26, has convinced herself that a high score on the American Idol video game transcends to the real world. “So we’re going to be putting this to a test. Does this game actually work?” Simon asked. Combine her strong accent, potty mouth and inability to distinguish Kara from Paula and you’ve already got a recipe for disaster. And then, there’s the voice.

Derek Hilton compared his sound to a mix of Chris Brown and the Eagles. Hold the phone! What does THAT sound like? He can definitely carry a tune, though I’m not sure which tune that is. And he wavered in between sounding like a chipmunk and a wailing seal.

I think that things went a little too far with Mere Doyle, who wasn’t horrendous but definitely assaulted my ear with her screams. I understand Idol pioneered the mocking audition rounds, but to cut the clips so that it looked like her mother was pained to support her in following her dreams is just wrong. You don’t mess with a woman and her baby! (Okay, so it was just a well-placed eye roll and an evil stare.) But still!

Andrew Fenlon blamed his anger on the many hours he had to wait, but he is probably just an all-around angry person. He walked in with attitude, gave lip to the judges and basically complained during his one moment to shine. Kara couldn’t hide her seething hatred of him. Let’s check out some blurbs from his 3 minute audition. Andrew’s “I’m here auditioning for American Idol. Should be fairly obvious at this point. I also like waiting around…” and “Let’s have a little conversation about this.” And then there’s Kara’s: “I really don’t like you. I have a very strong reaction to you,” and “You need a spanking, that’s what you need…You’ve been very naughty!” and “Have you ever had a girlfriend?!” Sad thing is that he wasn’t bad looking or off tune, and probably would have, at least, made it to the next round if he was a little sunnier.

If you’ve seen “My Big Redneck Wedding,” you know there’s a good and bad to everything. And Jesse Hamilton’s “cheap dramatization” package pretty much summed up all the stereotypes possible, from a friend almost shooting you while can shooting to the traumatizingly awful mullets.

Lamar Royal said he’d respect the judges’ opinions no matter what they said. But either he’s a really great liar or in total denial because he gave us this season’s first major flip out. Watching security have to walk out a singing/cursing mad man…priceless.

“Pants On The Ground (Looking Like a Fool)” Larry might have been 62 years old, and therefore too old to compete, but he made me laugh and smile and not cringe at the same time, which is an accomplishment for Idol. Plus, his little ditty is sure to be a hit!

WRAP IT UP

So after two days of auditions, 32 people from Boston received golden tickets and 25 were lucky in Atlanta. I will say that when they show the crying montage, I truly wonder if there are that many people who are utterly crushed when they don’t get through to the next round. Especially since not everyone has a fantastic voice, but then I remember that, at one point, 32 million people watched the show. This week averaged about 30 million, and that’s a lot of people. I also have to ask for a moment of silence to mourn Paula. This will not be the last week people will be talking about her absence, and Ellen hasn’t even joined the panel yet, so the comparisons haven’t even started, but I do miss her. So, please don’t mistake any Ellen gushing for Paula hating. I’m just sticking to my New Year’s Resolution of living in the NOW!

PARTING SHOTS

“Why have you walked in as a guitar?” – Simon

“I’m like the dollar store.” and “Once you feel me, I feel you.” – Skii Bo Ski

“I’m going to get my pants and buy a belt after this.” – Randy

Season 9, Episodes 1 & 2: Auditions: Boston & Auditions: Atlanta (Originally aired January 12 & 13, 2010)

For more on American Idol, click here.

Photographs courtesy of Fox Broadcasting Company and IMDbPro.

Heroes: You Can’t ALWAYS Save the World

This week on Heroes, Noah pulled Matt back into action. Ando, Hiro and Mohinder literally busted out of a psychiatric facility. Peter betrayed a new friend, and Samuel finally got his big wish. So much Heroes…so little time. Let’s dive right in!

“You know some days, maybe you just can’t just save the whole world; some days your better off just getting your own house in order…Go home. Hug your little girl.” – Matt
Where has Lauren and her high-tech gadgets been hiding? Only with her help does Noah finds his only lead, one of Samuel’s old friends Vanessa Wheeler. (Seriously, Lady has some high-level surveillance access?) Played by the lovely Kate Vernon, a BSG alum, Vanessa also happens to be Samuel’s first love who he dreams of bringing to the carnival. He professes that his plans are for the entire family, yet it seems that all he wants is to prove to this woman that he’s important.

Next, the disappearing Matt finally shows his face, and he’s quite different from the cop we last saw struggling with a psycho in his brain. Now,  he’s the quintessential stay-at-home dad, making breakfast and kissing wifey before sending her off to work. His peaceful abode is shattered when Noah stealthily emerges from his kitchen. Matt still holds a grudge against Noah for the whole Nathan-Sylar swap gone bad. Plus, he’s happy in his boring life. Noah makes a good point, however, when he suggests Matt help in order to ensure his son’s safety.

The two track down Vanessa, where Matt uses a little mind control to convince her that they are people she can trust. She confides that she’s worried about Samuel. All she has are sweet stories of their childhood, but recently since his brother’s death, Samuel has been acting crazy, spouting off about them being together once she sees how powerful he is.

Noah and Matt decide to use Vanessa as complicit bait and lure Samuel into a trap, but the nefarious one is two steps ahead of them. He sneaks past Matt as Eli sneaks up on Noah, and the two get away with Vanessa. Matt and Noah tail them as quickly as possible because they luckily planted a tracker on her. But by the time they reached the little red dot on their laptop (that they magically always have now!), the carnival is gone, leaving only litter behind. Frustrated, Matt questions how they’ll ever get further since the erratic-acting Noah has burned so many bridges.

Back at Chef Parkman‘s, Matt chops up carrots for a ratatouille, while Noah screams about Matt’s responsibility and not being a coward and that he’s one of the good guys. But Matt’s priorities are in order. Family first, and he suggest Noah think about the same.

“Just tell the truth, for once in your life, Mom. Please.” – Peter
Lydia does what she does best, watch from the fringe of the scene and leer like a stalker. Her daughter Amanda wonders why Lydia wants to stir the pot, but Mom is convinced that Samuel isn’t the leader the carnival needs. She seems at a loss of what to do until Amanda gives her an idea. She says her mother should call them. (I really hope that Lydia could have come up with such a simple plan without the help of a 14-year old.) In New York, Peter awakens with a start, grabbing his arm where a spinning, and seemingly painful, compass tattoo has appeared.

The Pied Piper begins to play, and it becomes clear that Emma is attempting a little target practice by trying to lure Peter to her. Once at her apartment, there’s little time for simple pleasantries like, “Wow! That power is awesome. Do it again!“ He notices the compass on her cello is akin to the marking that appeared on his arm, and he asks her how she got it. She tells  him about Samuel and the story about homeless Ira. Peter shows her a picture of the man he met as William, and she confirms that he’s Samuel. She says he didn’t want anything from her and shows Peter the compass he gave her. Peter recounts the Noah stabbing ordeal, over a very similar compass, and warns her to stay away.

Then, Angela appears, acting spooked by the sight of his new friend, and Emma takes the awkward moment as her cue to exit. Peter wants to know why his mom has chased away the only girl he’s had a crush on since he lost the last one by messing with the space-time continuum, and Angela confesses that Emma is going to help kill thousands of people somehow with her cello. But it’s not enough information for Peter, and he absorbs her clairvoyance power in lieu of further investigation.

In his own vision, he sees a distressed Emma at the carnival playing her cello. It’s totally blurry and psychedelic, but what’s clear is some garbled screams and Sylar offering to help her. Of course, Peter could never imagine letting Sylar near his pretty Emma or Emma’s melodic music to be allowed to annihilate a bunch of people. Instead, he heads right over to  her apartment and smashes the instrument. He futilely tries to explain what he was doing, but all she can think about are the shattered piece of wood on the ground. Evidently, Peter didn’t think that his actions may be exactly what pushes her to follow the compass and run to Samuel in the first place. But we can’t all think so clearly.

“Perfect. One who can’t walk and one who can’t talk.” – Mohinder
I would recap the Hiro-Ando-Mohinder story at length if it had any pertinence to the main storyline at all, but I’ve rambled enough and their plot doesn’t lead us with anything that will be useful going forward. Hiro and Ando find Suresh and break him out.  It starts with Hiro speaking in riddles, and by the end of the episode, Ando uses his electrical abilities to give Hiro’s brain a shock and cure him. (Why couldn’t this happen in a doctor’s office with some electrode pads? Don’t know.) In the beginning, Mohinder is loopy in a padded cell. At the close, Hiro and Ando have miraculously, and also inevitably, broken him out. I guess the fun is supposed to be in the journey, but it felt like a waste of time. I did enjoy seeing Mohinder go Hulk on the orderlies and Ando use his powers to short circuit a locked door. But Hiro still doesn’t have Charlie, and wasn’t that the reason Mohinder was drugged and left there in the first place?

WRAP IT UP
Ultimately, Noah shows up at Claire’s and apologizes for everything he’s done. He wants to rebuild bridges, not burn them, but Claire has plans, and Dad isn’t high on the priority list anymore. Though he has done wrong, it’s clear that he has changed because the old Noah would have waited in the wings and then stolen the compass from right under his daughter’s nose.

Matt sits down at the perfect dinner table he always wanted with his wife and son, but he feels like a coward. He’s disappointed he didn’t do more after he unleashed a serial killer from his brain, and he’s let so many people in the world down. She wants him to let things be; he looks after his family and that’s where he belongs. But from that last guilty look, I’m certain Matt’s not going to be staying at home much longer.

And Samuel and Noah are both with the women who have their heart. At least Lauren is willingly sleeping over. Wonder what her bedhead will look like? And now that three more Heroes are out to get Samuel, how much longer does he really have? Find out next week!

Season 4, Episodes 15: Close to You (originally aired January 11, 2010)

For more on Heroes, click here.

Mondays at 9/8C on NBC

Photographs courtesy of NBC and Chris Haston

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