Dancing With the Stars FINALE Review: Heavens to Mergatroyd, We Have A Winner!

It’s that time of the season where spring has sprung, the weather is warmer, and another season of Dancing With the Stars has come to an end. I know that everyone is sad, and rightly so, but please don’t fret! This show returns more often than Lindsey Lohan to rehab. This show is on TV more times per year than the local nightly news. This show comes back from retirement more times than Barbara Streisand. My point is this . . . the show ain’t going anywhere! Tom and Brooke and the whole crazy gang of hilarious judges will all be back to hock that awful Mirrorball Trophy that is apparently filled with crack and methadone and $4 million dollars. Why else would everyone want that thing so badly? It’s something only Tommy B. knows, and for you to find out, you have to become a mediocre star, go on the show, dance your face off, and win the damn thing. Get to it!

In any case, we have come to the end. The Finals, and the great big Finale Event. The three that remain dancing are, of course, Donald and Peta, Katherine and Mark, and William and Cheryl. Each couple would dance two times. The first round is Judges’ Choice (a new routine to a style of dance the judges feel the couple needs improvement on), and the second round is the ever-popular, amazing, never disappointing Freestyle Dance where anything goes. During the finale episode, each couple had one final dance for judges’ votes only, but everybody knows that dance is pointless, since America has already voted at that point and I don’t believe for a second that last dance affects ANYTHING. I ain’t no fool!

William / Cheryl:

Judges’ Choice was the Cha-cha, and the couple got the help of Bruno Tonioli and his insanity. During rehearsal footage, he told William that he is “sex on legs” and I suppose he gave him some actual dancing tips in between the lusting. Their dance was sexy as hell; hip action and Will had the open shirt. What could be better than that really? Len said it was “loud and proud, and that was just your shirt!” (Okay Len. That joke bombed. You need to stop getting your material for jokes from the nursing home cafeteria ladies.) Bruno stood up and yelled: “It was intoxicating! Like a human COCK(pause, pause, pause)tale on the dance floor!” Right Bruno. You just wanted to say the word cock. Genius. The pair received a perfect score of 10/10/10.

Next up was the Freestyle and it was hot, fiery, Latin, and filled with lifts. It was exactly what we would expect from the talented William and more! However, cranky Len disagreed. “Too predictable! All you do is show your bum and shake it. I’m fed up with it!” to which Tom Bergeron observed, “I think that Len is suffering from bum envy.” Bruno thought it was sinful, and a “Latin-inspired extravaganza!” while Carrie Ann said the dance was “breaking new ground!” Len shot back, “What new ground? It was the same ole thing!” As Len continued to be cranky and ask for his prune juice, the judges kept arguing and scores were 10/9/10.

Katherine / Mark:

In the first round, the couple did a Pasa Doble with the help of judge Len Goodman, who assisted Katherine with her technical movements in the dance, or as Len says, the “duuuuuuuuunce.” The result was a gorgeous, flowing routine that made Katherine look “like a ballerina” (according to Carrie Ann), and was filled with “technical brilliance” (Bruno). Len enjoyed the “tasty tidbits” in his pants . . . I mean . . . in the duuuuuuunce. The pair received a perfect score of 10/10/10 and were happier than pie.

The Freestyle round brought forth one of my VERY favorite dances of the season, if not my favorite ever! I just looooove this style of music (swing), loved the song (Fosse’s “Sing, Sing, Sing” with Katherine herself singing the first few lines beautifully) and love the complicated, quick movements involved. Simply incredible. I could watch this again and again. Bruno called it a ”flamboyant tour de force, so much content, on the money!” Carrie Ann cheered, “this showed you off like a Champion!” and Len yelled, “Now THAT was a freestyle!” Another perfect 10/10/10 score.

Donald / Heavens to Peta Mergatroyd:

Judges’ choice was an Argentine Tango, with the help of judge Carrie Ann Inaba, who advised the pair to put more content into their routine to get that 10 score from Len. The dance was sharp, smooth, and very suave. But guess what? Len still didn’t hand out that 10 to Donald. When he said he found the dance to be “a bit careful” Tommy B. retorted: “He is really starting to annoy me.” Funny stuff. Backstage, scores were 10/9/10 and Donald promised that he would finally get that 10 from Len in the Freestyle dance.

For the Freestyle round, Donald and Peta did something that nobody would ever see coming from them . . . a country and western line-dance using Cowboy Troy. It was awesome! Tons of complicated, dangerous lifts! Incredible footwork! Carrie Ann called it her favorite dance of the night, Bruno commented that he can never resist the wild, wild west, and Len said something about how in football, catches equal matches. Matches? I think that’s tennis, you dope. Anyway, they loved it, and Donald FINALLY got his 10 from Len, on the last day of the season. Perfect score of 10/10/10.

The second night of the show was the “Finale Extravaganza”, where all the ex-stars come back out to play, and where they try to waste 2 hours of TV time with anything and everything, and then cram the Winner of the show into the last .16 seconds of airing. Each of the three couples also danced one more time for judges’ scores, but everyone knows that dance meant nothing.

Kelly Clarkson performed a medley of two of her big hits off her current album, and of course, promoted her upcoming new show to air Thursday night, Duets. When Kelly asked Tom Bergeron if he would like to do a duet with her on the show, he made a joke about how that would ruin the show immediately, but what Tommy B. doesnt understand is that THIS is what America wants to see. We want to see Tom and Brooke doing a Pasa Doble for scores. Or Tom and Kelly Clarkson butchering through a duet. Or Tom and Bruno getting freaky with a Jive. Any of that would be so much fun.

The cast of stars were all back in their glory for a final shining moment onstage. Sherri danced with Val and a whole slew of male pro-dancers to “It’s Raining Men” while the robotic twins Martina and Wagner both got their wooden steps in during a foursome dance. Jack still looked like David Bowie, and Martina is still a tennis legend and not a dancer. Gladys and Man Ass got their moment in the sun as well, and the show finally did what they should have done months ago, and had Gladys Knight do what she does best . . . SING! (duh!) She did a beautiful rendition of “The Way We Were” and the Empress of Soul was so moving, she actually moved herself to tears.

There were more dances, video montages, people crying, lots of people talking about how great other people are on the show, and then the Final 3 went down to the Final 2. With this group of 3 very talented and deserving dancers, it really could have been anyone. But it was William and Cheryl who took 3rd place, leaving Donald and Peta and Katherine and Mark as the Final Two.

And in those final seconds of the show, just before credits start to roll, they finally decide to tell us the winner. “And the winner . . . of season 12 of Dancing with the Stars and the MirrorBall Trophy . . . is . . .

DONALD AND PETA!!!!”

Yup. Who saw that coming? Maybe some did, but I thought it would be Katherine. However, I gotta say I have NEVER seen anyone on this show as excited as Donald was to win that cheesy, dumb trophy. He fell on the floor, he cried, he pumped his fists in the air, and he declared it as exciting as winning The Superbowl. Seriously – what is that trophy made of??? Tom Bergeron had a funny line when he went over to Donald and said, “Well, I have to ask you the question that Brooke always asks, How does it feel?” (Oh Tommy B., you know and I know that you know that I know that you know she asks that question so much becuase you read my reviews . . . I am your silent hero. I’m like a ghost-writer on the show with these reviews. I feel its time they start paying me now, or at least invite me to come sit in the damn audience already. I wanna meet Tommy B!) So, in the end, Heavens to Peta Mergatroyd gets her very first win as a pro-dancer, and yet another football player comes from behind to take the Trophy!!!!

Great season. Great dancers. Great cast. I don’t know how they are going to beat this one. My suggestion would be to go back to the “freak” route. Bring back the freaks!!! I will even give you a few ideas. How about Octo-mom? Talk about hilarious! Tony Danza! He claims to be a dancer in real life. I think he taps or something. Let’s see how good he is! Regis! How about The Fonz? He could punch a jukebox to begin every dance routine. You need someone older than dirt and funny. Don Rickles! Let’s see Rickles do the Argentine Tango without croaking! There are always so many injuries on the show, and that damn ambulance is on standby. Next season, we need a death. Someone needs to die . . . LLLLIIIIVEEEEEEE!!!!!!!

I will miss you Tommy. Until next time, which will, of course, be in about 2.5 months.

Season 14, Episodes 18 – 19 (originally aired May 21 & 22, 2012)

For more on Dancing With the Stars, click here.  Follow @poptimal.  Follow @kelleyiskelley.  Read Kelley’s blog, which chronicles the loss of her husband, at ripthelifeiknew here.

Dancing With the Stars airs Mondays at 8/7c and Tuesdays at 9/8 c on ABC.

Photographs courtesy of ABC/Adam Taylor

Girls Review: Going Home

This week’s episode of Girls was absolutely charming.  There was a change in scenery with Hannah going back to Michigan to see her parents, and I have to say, it was refreshing!

Hannah returns to her hometown of Lansing to spend some time with their parents during their anniversary, but it’s not long before she starts getting annoyed with them, especially because her mom keeps dropping hints about job opportunities in Michigan that Hannah should look in to.  She doesn’t want to tell them she lost her job last week, even though Marnie needs the rent ASAP.

When her mom starts having bad hot flashes, Hannah is asked to make a run to the pharmacy. Instead of hurrying like her mom asks, she stops in to visit a friend, Heather, from high school.  Heather informs Hannah that a girl they knew from high school recently disappeared, and there will be a benefit to raise money for her parents that night.  Heather also tells Hannah she’s moving to LA to be a dancer.

When she finally hits the pharmacy for her mom, Hannah gets asked out by the cute pharmacist’s son.  He asks her to go to the benefit with him, and she agrees, even though her parents were hoping to spend the evening with her.  Hannah gives herself an adorable, “You are from New York, therefore you are just naturally interesting,” pep talk before going out with Eric, the guy from the pharmacy.

At the benefit, Hannah is horrified to see Heather’s dance routine, which is . . . not good. Hannah starts to get upset, knowing how much Heather will struggle in LA.  She starts to realize that she and Heather aren’t so different – she’s a writer, not making any money.  She leaves the benefit with Eric and they go back to his place, where they have somewhat awkward sex (is she capable of anything but awkward sex?).

On their anniversary dinner, Hannah’s parents talk about Hannah and whether or not they should have cut her off. Her mom seems to have faith in her, though her dad is worried about her.  Later, her parents go back home and end up having some shower sex. But her dad slips and falls and hits his head. When Hannah comes home, she finds her dad naked on the bathroom floor. He says it’s his back that hurts. Though mortified, she helps her mom take him to his bedroom.

Afterwards, she and her mom have a conversation, and her mother asks how she’s doing with money.  Hannah shows some real growth from the first episode, when she threw a fit, by not asking for money from her mother.  Instead, she pretends to be making it work.

Back in her bedroom, she gets a call from Adam. Is this the first time he’s actually called her?  Granted, he’s calling her back, but that still seems like an improvement.  At the start of the episode, she was adamant that he no longer existed (even though she called him), but they have an actually pretty nice talk. She tells him that she cares about him, and after what happened to Carrie, the girl who disappeared, she’s scared that if something happened to him, she’d never know.  He tells her he misses her (wow, that’s big for Adam). The episode ends with them still talking.  Despite being miles and miles apart, it seems like the closest they’ve ever been.

This was my favorite episode thus far. While I missed the other three girls (especially Shoshanna, whom I adore) it was really nice to see Hannah in a new environment and to see her parents again.  I think we saw a lot of growth from Hannah, which was much needed. It was very smart and well done.  Kudos to the Girls team!

Season 1, Episode 6: “The Return” (original air date May 20, 2012)

Girls airs Sunday night at 10:30 p.m. on HBO.

Images courtesy of HBO.

Glee Review: Glee Does Graduation

After three years, the first set of New Directions seniors are ready to graduate and take a big step toward their new lives. But, do all of the Glee kids really get a curtain call?

The Good

No weddings!

“I’ll Remember”

Rachel Berry goes to NYC

In a not-so shocking move, but an off-the-book one no less, Glee showcased zero weddings in last night’s finale. This means both Will and Emma, who had been arguing over a date, will delay until November. It also means Finn and Rachel, who were ready to go in the car, will be waiting indefinitely, since he decided she’s off to college regardless of where it leaves him. In a surreal moment that could’ve been slightly more impactful, Rachel is the first of the New Directions seniors to take off for her new life, being dropped at the train station and singing “Roots Before Branches” while she hugs all of her high school friends one last time.

Each senior got their moment in the finale, complete with humorous voiceover, and we learned the updated versions of each of their plans. Not-so-surprisingly, we saw that Puck had yet to take his makeup exam, and was still in danger of having to repeat his senior year. After Quinn, who shared a tender moment with Sue, decided to give him a pep talk, she kissed him, and he was ready to go. Unfortunately for Brittany, but maybe fortunately for Lord Tubbington, she’ll be repeating her senior year because she failed all of her classes. Ever the optimist, she points out to Santana that she’ll be the first ever two-term student body president.

In a nice moment of closure, Finn asks Will to sign his yearbook. Gone are the father/son moments from the first season, as the two now interact more like brothers. Will finally comes clean to Finn about how he got him to join glee club, by planting marijuana in his locker after hearing him sing in the shower. Finn’s reaction? Will’s so much cooler than he ever thought. That’s right, Teacher-of-the-Year Will.

One last shout out to the writers for resisting the urge to cover the Vitamin C song that was so popular when I was graduating high school.

The Bad

So, graduation is basically a glee club performance?

So many unanswered questions

No weddings?

Kurt doesn’t get in to NYADA

Mercedes gets sidelined…professionally

Last night’s finale really didn’t feel like the goodbye I was expecting. The vignettes with each senior were a great touch, but ultimately, the lingering questions and last minute decisions that affected so many of their futures distracted from the moment.

Sure, I get Finn not getting into the Actor’s Studio. He didn’t actually act at any point during his high school life, except for that commercial for mattresses the team did back in season one. So, he probably wasn’t the ideal candidate for that school. But Kurt not getting into NYADA? If there was one character I was hoping would get a nice swan song of success, it was Kurt Hummel. Sadly, now we have to wait and see what’s in store for his undecided future. Also, maybe Emma should’ve spent a little less time wedding planning and a little more time guiding her students, explaining that applying to just one college isn’t your best bet.

When it came time for the actual graduation ceremony, Puck performed “Glory Days” with Finn, because any event at McKinley High is instantly a place for New Directions to showcase their talents. We got to see all of the seniors dance their way on stage, and most of their parents watching on, including Gloria Estefan as Santana’s mother.

Poor Mercedes, who is probably the most neglected character of the bunch, after not really pursuing higher education (or maybe she did and no one decided to tell the rest of us), reveals that thanks to Sam’s YouTube video of her singing, she’s off to Hollywood with a gig as a backup singer. To paraphrase Tina from last week, now she’ll get to professionally sway like a prop in the background.

The Unanswered

While it was a double-edged twist to cut both weddings we’d been expecting all season from last night’s finale, I’m a little distracted by the fact it didn’t really feel like an ending. There were so many characters left dangling or quickly wrapped up that I’m not sure what to expect from next season, particularly since we don’t know exactly who’s leaving, who’s staying, and in what capacity any or all of them will be featured.

A number of characters are putting Lima, Ohio in their rear view. Quinn’s happily off to Yale, ready for her fresh start. Mercedes is headed for Hollywood. Is it possible a fame-seeking Kurt will follow her there? Santana decided to forgo college thanks to Gloria Estefan’s graduation check. Will she be reuniting with Rachel in New York, bonding over the trials of auditions at a coffee shop, maybe even tiny apartment roommates? Finn’s in the army now. Does this mean we’ll finally get to meet his mostly forgotten father? Mike’s off to Chicago, but what does that mean for his relationship with Tina? What is Puck doing tomorrow, let alone in a life plan? I guess we’ll have to wait until fall to find out.

Season 3, Episode 22: “Goodbye”

Glee airs Tuesday night at 8 p.m. on FOX.

Are you a Gleek? Click here for more Poptimal coverage of Glee.

Images courtesy of FOX

 

Mad Men Recap: Christmas, Mad Men-Style

There was a scene in this week’s episode of Mad Men that kind of took my breath away. I often gush about this show and shouldn’t be surprised when I find it beyond remarkable, but yet again I was reminded of the potency of the cast and the writers who stand behind them in the shadows. The scene in question was not particularly shocking or dramatic but it stuck with me simply because of the raw chemistry and charm of the two actors taking part in it.

Jon Hamm and Christina Hendricks don’t often get a lot of great scenes together but in this week’s episode as Joan is served with divorce papers and starts to lose her shit, Don kind of swoops in like a white knight on a Jaguar and makes her day so much better. He doesn’t hug her and tell her blandly that everything will be okay – instead he takes her to a bar in the middle of the afternoon, gets her drunk, and then helps her pick out a rebound guy.

It may sound like a crude scenario but Hamm and Hendricks pull it off with so much sheer likability you can’t help but fall in love with them. These two actors belong in more scenes together. In fact, I would probably watch them in real time for a full day if I could. They’re just that good.

But this scene doesn’t just brighten Joan’s day. It also has a definite impact on Don. After leaving Joan to her prey in the bar, Don drunkenly cruises around in a souped up Jaguar and eventually stumbles home where Teeth is fuming about not knowing where he has been. She screams and throws a plate of pasta but then drops a line that seems to strike a cord with Don. “You used to love your work before meeting me.”

We’ve seen all season long a sort of lethargy from Don when it comes to his work since falling for Teeth. Many people have mentioned it to him in one way or another, but hearing her say it seems to do something. The next day at work Don gives a stirring speech to the staff about how hard they’re going to work to earn the Jaguar account, which up until then only Pete had been excited about. The question now is whether or not this renewed drive to compete will last. I hope it does because honestly – who doesn’t want the old Don Draper back?

In a slightly more shocking turn of events we must shift our attention to our favorite Brit, Lane Pryce, who continues to have money troubles with the tax man back in England. As it turns out, Lane needs $8,000 in two days, which he definitely doesn’t have. So in a bold act he seeks out a $50,000 loan for the firm and then presents it to his fellow partners as additional funds he’s “found in the books” that should be used for Christmas bonuses.

What seems like a wise plan then backfires when the partners decide to hold off on issuing any checks immediately thus forcing Lane to sneak into the office late at night to forge a check to himself. We can only assume that he meant to do this and then not give himself a Christmas bonus later on to make up for it, but when the partners later decide to defer their own bonuses, things start to look bleak for Lane. We can see the pain on his face like a guilty man knowing he’s been caught. He of course hasn’t been caught yet, but this is inevitable. Oh, Lane, we hardly knew ye.

One of Mad Men‘s more minor supporting characters also got a chance to shine this week with a storyline that brought Harry Crane (Rich Sommer) back in touch with Paul Kinsey (Michael Gladis) who was not asked to join the new agency at the end of Season 3. Kinsey is now a disciple of Hare Krishna and has shunned advertising while being hopelessly devoted to his girlfriend Lakshmi (who I thought was Juliette Lewis for at least half of the episode).

Kinsey wants a little help from Harry in the form of submitting a spec script for an episode of Star Trek that he wrote. The script is obviously crap and Harry ends up having sex with Lakshmi on his desk at work before learning that she is a crazy person. Not wanting to submit the embarrassing script or give in to Lakshmi’s bizarre demands, Harry instead gives Kinsey $500 and tells him to travel to LA and pursue screenwriting there. Kinsey reluctantly agrees and another problem is solved.

More importantly (and it breaks my heart to say this) there are only three episodes left of this fifth season of Mad Men. It seems like it just began but here we are staring at the end again. Start posting your predictions below!

 

Mad Men Season Five, Episode 10: “Christmas Waltz” (originally aired May 20, 2012)

Watch Mad Men on AMC Sundays 10/9 central.

Images courtesy of AMC.

The Real Housewives of New Jersey Review: Poor Sports

This week’s episode of RHONJ was more entertaining than usual but it was also a train wreck and not in the typical New Jersey way. Usually, we see the women going at it, melting down and cussing each other out. This time, it was G to the “ia” who had major issues. And I almost felt guilty for watching this 10 year old have a fit on TV. Why did she even get such a large chunk of airtime? Didn’t Tre and Juicy sign any type of agreement limiting their children’s time on the tube? Oh wait, I forget who I’m talking about here. Two people that will do and say anything, including agreeing to plaster their nightmare-ish children on television for us all to watch and cringe at.

Before getting into the Gia drama, let’s start with Lauren Manzo who is getting on my last nerve. She seems to think that being chunky is just as bad, if not worse than being a paraplegic. All I hear is this girl complain to anyone who will listen about her diet, her genetic make-up, her brothers and her fatness. I get that everyone is different and some people put on weight staring at a cupcake while others can squirt Cool Whip into their mouths every day for years and somehow maintain a perfect physique. Attention Lauren: YOU KNOW YOU ARE THE FORMER. CLAIM IT, CHANGE IT AND STOP MAKING OUR LIVES MISERABLE BY COMPLAINING ABOUT IT. I did have to laugh though when Caroline said that Lauren was “Albert in a dress” and when Albert confessed to BRAVO cameras that he was glad Lauren was fat in high school because “boys want to be friends with chubby chicks, not go out with them.” Brutality! By the way, how funny/sad was it when that picture of Albie taking Lauren to her Junior prom flashed on the screen?

Next up, we visit Tre chauffeuring Juicy to nowhereville. Tre decides to tell Juicy about her talk with Joe Gorga at Cousin Kathy’s pool party. Joe immediately blows up and tells Tre her brother is a pile of crap and that he’ll kick anyone out of his house, including Tre, her parents and his own parents if they even utter one word about Joe Gorga. He also tells Tre to shut up. It’s disturbing behavior from a stupid loser. Juicy has no beat on reality and he sounds verbally abusive, in my opinion. But Tre doesn’t see it that way. She takes all Juicy’s blathering and then proceeds to tell us that she and Juicy never fight. I could see why they never fight given Teresa might still be in the process of growing a backbone. Bottom line in all this, if you didn’t think Juicy was an a-hole before this tirade, I hope you do now because he is.

In this episode, Gia decides it’s time to get some bras for the ti-tahs. It’s nice that she feels comfortable enough around Teresa to let her know she needs some support and Teresa’s reaction is somewhat cute, if you happen to forget that Teresa is awful from a general standpoint.

Lastly, we attend Field Day in Franklin Heights. For the most part, there’s an air of collegiality and normalcy but then Gia had to go and ruin it all by throwing a temper tantrum. She is upset when Joe allegedly cheats in all the field day events. I get why a little kid would take cheating seriously. As Tre pointed out, she’s taught that cheating is bad so why does Joe get a pass? But, on the other hand, she is 10 years old and the reaction she had to the situation was WAY too crazy. And it didn’t help that Jacqueline and Caroline cornered her while sulking and tried a dose of tough love. The kid is being a witch and wants to be alone, let her be alone. No need for Jacqueline to pick up the “Being a Poor Sport” book and try to make this a teaching moment. That’s Teresa’s job and one she fails miserably at when she comes in and basically validates Gia’s anger. It makes perfect sense that this is Tre’s parenting technique given that’s her approach to life in general. If someone feels bad, they are the victim, no matter how inappropriate their behavior might be. Zero percent self-reflection, 100% victim.

I’m still over all these Franklin Heights women . . . including the chubby chicks and the little drama queens.

Season 4, Episode 5:  Spoiled Sports (originally aired May 20, 2012)

The Real Housewives of New Jersey airs Sundays at 10/9c on Bravo.  Read more Real Housewives coverage here.

Images courtesy of Bravo TV.

Spoiled Sports

The Killing Review: Upping The Ante

The Rosie Larsen case grows ever closer to closing as Linden (Mireille Enos) and Holder (Joel Kinnaman) are thrust into more danger than they have ever seen, though the Who’s and the Why’s of the case are still as unknown as they ever were. Holder returns to their precinct office to find it completely gutted and empty; it’s as if they were never there. Meeting him inside is everyone’s favorite hard-ass, Lieutenant Carlson, who is happy to throw him out. “You violated every federal law,” he says pointedly, “You’re lucky you kept your badge.” He tells Holder that Linden was in a psych ward for a full month after an investigation throttled her mentally, probably as a tactic to split the two apart, but to no avail. Holder instead asks where his personal effects are, knowing they are with the evidence, which Carlson tells him is at the County office. It turns out that Carlson is either lying or there are other forces at work when Holder finds out that the Larsen case files never made it to County and may very well be lost forever.

Linden and Holder make their way to Richmond’s (Billy Campbell) office and ask him for his help: They need access to the reservation and to the mysterious tenth floor, but the city has no jurisdiction over the tribal grounds and this isn’t the time for Richmond to get his hands dirty. “Chief Jackson does what’s best for Chief Jackson,” he apologizes. With no other play, the two go to Gil’s apartment where Holder ransacks it looking for the files. He turns up nothing, but Linden manages to break into Gil’s car and steal his GPS, whose last address is a location that could possibly be where he stashed the files.

Richmond, meanwhile, still has his meeting with Chief Jackson, but the Larsen murder and the unexpected visit from the Seattle PD has left him thinking about the case once again. Jackson wants tax exempt status for the entire reservation in exchange for the waterfront property, but he requests in exchange that she let the detectives into the reservation. This, of course, goes over about as well as a bloated summer movie based on a board game and Chief Jackson storms out of the office. “I speak for my nation,” she says angrily. “I think you speak for yourself, Ms Jackson. Always have,” Richmond deals back.

Linden and Holder’s lead turns out to be a storage locker straight out of Silence of the Lambs. There are no severed heads to be found, however after digging through a musty couch, Linden uncovers all the flies including the missing casino key. Later that night, they sneak onto the reservation and wait anxiously for the maid from the last episode to let them in through a back door. The maid is a no-show and time is running out, so Linden makes an executive decision to just walk in and try to run the gauntlet herself. “They’re gonna be right on you,” Holder pleads, “You don’t stand a chance!” But she moves into the casino anyway.

With her way up to the main elevators blocked by an armed guard, it looks like it may be hopeless, until Holder creates a distraction at a table, pretending to be incredibly drunk and incredibly belligerent. Though, he probably isn’t actually pretending to be belligerent since he’s surrounded by the people that beat the shit out of him not a day before hand. Holder’s sass is finally of some use here, especially when Chief Jackson arrives, “You’re either incredibly brave or incredibly stupid,” she scoffs, to which Holder flicks a cigarette in her general direction and heads for the exits.

Meanwhile, Linden has made her way to the elevators and is heading towards the tenth floor. The doors part and she steps into the blackness of a very under-construction floor, where not much seems very out of the ordinary. On the phone with Holder, she locates a generator, which was the source of the noise in the voice mail; also, the sliding glass door from the recording, which leads her to a balcony overlooking the skyline of Seattle. “She came here to look at the city. She was leaving that night and came here,” Linden realizes, retracing Rosie’s steps, “ She came here to say goodbye.” She looks through the sliding glass door into the under-construction room, where she would have been looking in her panicked state on the voicemail. Here, she saw Ames. But what else? Some kind of meeting? Whatever she saw, it got her killed. She makes her way back inside and looks around, spots an ID badge in a small crack in the floor. She can’t reach it, but it is clearly an ID badge issued by Seattle to provide access to city hall. “Adams?” Holder wonders. Just then, Holder sees light peering through the tenth floor window. “Turn off your flashlight, Linden,” he warns. “It is off…” she says before being knocked unconscious by an unseen figure.

The pace of The Killing has picked up considerably over the last few weeks, to mainly good effect. It’s difficult to wholly dismiss the vast loose ends that the show has left wide open, things like Beau Soleil and Stan’s mafia ties which were both at one time groomed to play a much larger role than they were given. Also, Mitch’s (Michelle Forbes) completely useless and arbitrary storyline finally gets some play this week when she visits Rosie’s real father David, whom Rosie would see secretly from time to time, and learns that Rosie was going to run away from home after high school. This realization both paralleled Linden’s own discovery of Rosie’s planned departure and made it feel more organic and planned than something like the anime tattoo from this season. This, however, doesn’t excuse Mitch’s pitiful storyline and her behavior; she is dealing with an incomprehensible loss, sure, but for her to abandon what remains of her family so she can go on a journey of self-discovery is selfish and inexcusable. She’s annoying and stupid this year, so maybe it’s a good thing that we’re not seeing a lot of her.

What we should be seeing in the closing weeks of The Killing is some answers pertaining to Rosie’s death. Answers that will no doubt make sense and be compelling, but will probably fall short of the epic reveal we’ve been expecting over the course of twenty-six episodes.

Season 2, Episode 9: “Sayonara, Hiawatha ” (original airdate May 20, 2012)

The Killing airs Sundays at 9/8c on AMC.

Images courtesy of Carole Segal and AMC.

Game of Thrones Review: Could It Be Love?

Last night on Game of Thrones, Robb and Catelyn Stark both made surprising moves while Stannis Baratheon’s bannermen prepare to sail for King’s Landing and his nephew King Joffrey prepares to meet them.

Beyond the Wall, Ygritte brings a bound Jon Snow before the Lord of Bones. He already has a Night’s Watch prisoner, Quorin, and doesn’t want another, no matter what he knows, so he orders Snow executed. Ygritte interjects, saying Snow could’ve killed her, but didn’t. No one really seems to care, so she goes on to reveal Snow is Ned Stark’s bastard son.

Quorin thinks he and Snow need to use this opportunity to gather intel on Mance’s plan to march the wildlings on the Wall. Quorin stages a fight with Snow and kicks him down a hillside. Elsewhere, Sam and two other brothers are digging in the snow. They talk about whether Snow and Quorin might be alive, digging until they hit a stone. Sam recognizes the markings from the first men, and from under it, they remove a Night’s Watch cloak and a spear made of obsidian.

At Robb’s camp, he discusses his arranged marriage to Lord Frey’s daughter with Talisa. They talk about Ned, and Robb says how much he loved his father and how much the people of Winterfell loved him too. A rider interrupts them with news that Jaime Lannister has escaped.

Robb rides to confront Catelyn, who admits she let Jaime go in hopes Brienne would be able to trade him for Arya and Sansa. Robb thinks it was foolish and that Jaime took advantage of her while she was in an emotional state. He orders Catelyn guarded and more men sent to hunt the Kingslayer. On the road, Jaime tries to convince Brienne to undo his chains, but she refuses. Brienne then loads him into a boat and climbs in after, setting off on the water.

Later, Robb is preparing a team to reclaim Winterfell. He gives the order that any iron men who surrender are free to return to their homeland, except Theon Greyjoy. Talisa drops in to see how he’s managing and he runs through a list of issues with her, then apologizes for unloading it all so quickly. She tells him how she came to be a nurse, rather than the noblewoman she was raised to be. When she was younger, a slave saved her drowning brother’s life, at great risk to himself, and she vowed she’d never live in a slave city again.

Robb’s a little bit entranced and tells Talisa he doesn’t want to marry Frey’s daughter. Talisa admits she doesn’t want him to either, but knows he needs the bridge the alliance will bring. She hopes it’s a beautiful bridge for him. Robb kisses her and they start tearing each other’s clothes off and going at it on the floor of the tent.

In Qarth, Daenerys learns from Jorah that there’s a boat willing to sail with them to Westeros tonight, but she doesn’t want to abandon her dragons. Dany wants to go to the House of the Undying and reclaim them, but Jorah worries because that’s what the warlocks want too, so something greater must be at stake. Dany tells Jorah to trust her; after all, it was her magic that protected her in the flames that birthed the dragons.

At Harrenhal, Arya overhears some details about the war. Tywin knows Stannis is approaching King’s Landing, and that Robb is north while a faction of his forces move to reclaim Winterfell. Tywin announces plans to ride to King’s Landing and orders one of his men to hold Harrenhal, and to keep Arya with him. Arya frantically searches out Jaquen, having missed her chance to name Tywin as the final sacrifice to the red god. So, she names Jaquen himself, who takes it very seriously, and asks to be unnamed. She does so, in exchange for his assistance with getting her and her friends out of Harrenhal.

At midnight, Arya, Genry, and their larger friend are waiting for some sort of signal. All Jaquen had told Arya is to walk through the gate. As she does so, cautiously and alone, she sees that the guards have been killed and nailed to the wall. Her friends join her and they escape into the night.

At King’s Landing, Bronn and Tyrion are having a hard time trying to plan a defense for the kingdom. Bronn is also refusing to wear the ceremonial clothing requested of him, because it’s too bright and cumbersome in a fight. Varys joins them, but is of little help.

Later at dinner, Cersei reveals Joffrey’s decided to fight in the war, but Cersei is certain Tyrion’s had something to do with it. So, she announces she’s taken his whore. Visibly shaken, he tries to hide it as she describes beating the woman and how she’ll do so for every mark Joffrey receives in battle. She brings the whore in and, surprisingly, it’s not Shae. Tyrion apologizes to the woman, and Cersei smiles, still unaware she’s got the wrong girl. Tyrion races to see Shae and warns her they need to be more careful, and that sooner rather than later, he’s probably going to have to kill for her.

Later, Joffrey is prepping for battle and says he doesn’t take Stannis seriously as a threat, saying he’ll ride out sword in hand to meet his uncle in battle. Joffrey makes several other threats that Tyrion laughs off. After, Varys tells Tyrion he’s received word Daenerys is still alive in Qarth and has three dragons, but it will be years before they are fully grown.

At sea, Stannis Baratheon’s fleet is only a day away from King’s Landing and his battle for the throne. He’s a little bit irked that after he held down Storm’s End in the last war Robert gave it to Renly, who hadn’t even fought. He also tells Davos he wants him to serve as his hand when he’s on the Iron Throne.

In Winterfell, Theon Greyjoy receives a visit from his sister Yara, who chastises him for killing the Stark children and losing the support of the people of the north forever. Theon claims without doing so, the people would never have respected his authority. Yara also reveals she’s not here to defend Winterfell, but to take Theon home for safekeeping, because Robb will be on his way for revenge. Theon says he’s killed the ravens and caged the horses so that Robb won’t find out, but Yara, in a short and tender moment, asks him to come for his safety. He refuses, wanting to defend his conquered land.

Later, the Maester sees Osha walking in the shadows of town, sneaking off with some bread. We follow her down into a cave in the dark as she describes the path she took, including walking in the water to throw off the scent for the wolves. There, she reveals what was really no surprise to anyone watching, that the bodies are actually the sons of a nearby farmer, with Bran and Rickon very much alive in the cave with them.

Season 2, Episode 8: “The Prince of Winterfell” (originally aired May 20, 2012)

Game of Thrones airs Sunday night at 9 p.m. on HBO.

For more on Game of Thrones, click here.

 

Images courtesy of Paul Schiraldi and Helen Sloan for HBO and IMDbPro

Community Review: Back-to-Back Madness To End The Season

From the Greendale Community College Course Catalog:

Digital Estate Planning/The First Chang Dynasty/Introduction To Finality

Description: Students will gain the experience of putting smart but low rated television shows on indefinite hiatus so, when the show triumphantly returns to the airwaves, its final three episodes of the season can be lumped together  and aired back-to-back for the express purpose of making life difficult for online journos. 3 Units.

———————————————————–

Digital Estate Planning

With no academic obligations at the moment, the study group finds themselves with lots of time to kill, which they use this week by joining Pierce (Chevy Chase) at Hawthorne Industries where they are met by Gilbert, his father’s right hand man. Gilbert called for Pierce and seven of his closest friends to join in a special event. They meet in a room that has a series of small cubicles with computers inside of them. “This looks like a multiplayer gaming interface.” Abed (Danny Pudi) says, to which Troy (Donald Glover) immediately replies, “I’ve heard enough,” and makes a beeline for one of the consoles.

Abed is right. In his unique and ridiculous insanity, Pierce’s dad has put together a video game experience that seven people can play and vie for what should rightfully be Pierce’s inheritance. The group, for the most part want nothing to do with such an insane idea, but Jeff (Joel McHale) sees the humor in it: “So a 100 year old man created a 30 year old video game? This I gotta see.”

That game is “Journey to the Center of Hawthorne”, an 8-bit side scroller that instantly becomes the visual style for the duration of the episode and also becomes one of the most unique moments in recent television. 8-Bit sprites of the study group fill the Greendale library and all of them get their bearings except for Pierce, who continues to walk into a wall. “Press the right arrow button, Pierce!” Annie (Alison Brie) says, frustrated, at which point Pierce figures out the elementary navigation controls. “How was I supposed to know?” He asks. Outside the library, the group is accosted by enemies that can only be called “Sex Hippies” since when they attack they scream, “Sex! Sex!” This is merely the tip of the racist iceberg that Hawthorne has put together for the group.

Gilbert appears and immediately kills everyone, forcing them to respawn at the library. Gilbert’s stake in all of this is that he is actually Pierce’s half brother, which he reveals to him right then and there. His intent is to kill everyone and claim the inheritance for himself. Seeing the competition, Pierce literally digs himself into a hole, waiting for death to come, but Britta digs him out and reassures him that they will band together to stop Gilbert…then she kills him. “I guess there’s no hug button,” she says woefully.

The group stop at a town where they wreck havoc unintentionally. Annie accidentally kills the town blacksmith, Britta creates a magic potion, and Troy and Pierce lose a game of poker and end up totally naked. Gilbert again comes on the offensive, calling down lightning to kill the group. “He’s shooting lighting and I’m naked!” Troy exclaims. Britta kills Gilbert with her potion and he decides to up the ante and make things much more difficult by accessing the debug portion of the game. Meanwhile, the gang makes great progress, passing through the Valley of Laziness, and into The Gay Island (“You did great in there, Jeff,” Pierce jokes). They finally make their way to the final level and are literally attacked by Jive Turkeys (turkeys with giant afros). Gilbert ultimately beats everyone through his glorious use of cheat codes but before receiving the inheritance an AI version of Hawthrone asks him to sign a legal contract which forces him to never reveal that Hawthorne was his father. He can’t do it and loses his chance. However, the study group rallies and attacks the Hawthorne AI with all manner of robot dinosaurs thousands of little baby Abeds and a giant atom bomb. When the dust settles, the money goes to Gilbert, “because you put up with all his crap and you can’t even take his name,” as Pierce succinctly sums up. With money no longer hanging over Pierce’s head, it seems he can finally wash his hands of his father once and for all.

 

The First Chang Dynasty

In the wake of the Starburns, uh, Wake Riot, Greendale has continued to function under Chang’s rule despite that fact that he has turned it into a socialist, military state. The study group reviews a new Greendale promo video and freeze frame’s a wide shot of the fake Dean, showing it to a police officer who just doesn’t believe them. It’s up to the Greendale Seven to now stop Chang, who sits on a throne in a glorious uniform weighed down by fake medals and pins. Troy uses his resources at the Air Conditioning school to find out that the Dean is being held captive in the school’s basement where he has made a stick figure version of Jeff to keep him company. The basement requires a keypad code to get in and even after that, there’s another locked door between the Dean and freedom, the key for which Chang keeps around his neck. To save the Dean they need a way inside, but don’t want to risk arrest, particularly Jeff, “Do you know how someone as sarcastic as me would last in prison,” he asks, “Suuuch a long time.” Troy finds one option; he must enroll in air conditioning repair school where he must move to and never see his friends again. This is not seen as an option by the group at all and they elect to instead stage an elaborate heist.

The heist goes down at Chang’s birthday celebration. Chang is dressed as Napoleon for the festivities but he keeps a careful eye out for the Greendale Seven.  Not careful enough, however, as Shirley slips in disguised as a bearded chef with birthday cake in tow. Annie hides underneath the cake cart and slips out in the kitchen. Troy and Abed come in disguised as plumbers after Shirley stuffs an entire chicken into one of the bathrooms and smash through the bathroom wall, giving them access to Chang’s office where they nab a copy of the door code. Britta and Jeff come in dressed as Rikki Nightshade, a cheap (but totally accurate) Criss Angel ripoff.

Chang is strapped to a spinning wheel as part of a fake magic trick and the momentum of the wheel tosses coins and other junk out of his pockets, along with the basement key. Britta takes it and slips away as Jeff continues his spot-on magician impression. Suddenly, Pierce barges in dressed as a Swami, but it is obvious to everyone that something is up. Chang recognizes him immediately and Pierce doesn’t help when in trying to escape he exclaims, “Jeff, we’ve been made!” Fortunately, this was all part of the plan- to simply make it look like the plan failed when in fact, it created just enough of a diversion to free the real Dean and get away from campus…almost.

Chang finds them as they are escaping and his gaggle of pre-teens escort the group down to the basement. Here, Chang reveals his plan: to set off a ton of fireworks in the records room and burn all recorded evidence of his shenanigans, triggered by the last note played during a keytar solo. “Dean you’re crazy,” Troy seethes, “You’re still into keytar?” With absolutely no way out of the basement, Troy has only one option- to nods to security camera watching the basement, signaling the A/C School at the other end to turn off the large ventilation fan so they can make their escape. Chang starts his solo as the group make their way back to the surface. “Chang’s already begun his solo,” Jeff warns, “That only gives us nine minutes to get to the records room!” They make their way there and cut the fuse to the fireworks in the nick of time. Chang is about to engage Jeff in a taser duel but School District Administrators walk in just before the battle. The group explains that the dean was switched, even though it sounds crazy, but the admins are surprisingly supportive. “We realized it when we caught these two slap fighting outside,” one of them says as Dean Pelton and his Doppledeaner walk into the records room slapfighting. Chang is stopped and all seems to go back to normal until the A/C School comes for Troy, who has to leave his friends for his preordained destiny.

 

Introduction to Finality

The study group finds themselves once again studying for their Biology final. Because of Troy’s sacrifice to save the Dean, he is now in Air Conditioning school and his missing presence is not lost on the group. Of course, Dean Pelton shows up to break the monotony, “Did someone say sexy construction worker,” he asks rhetorically, “I’m building to big news!” That big news is Shirley finally getting her sandwich shop after Subway removed itself from Greendale. There is a catch, of course; only one person can sign the contract, designating them sole owner. This causes another rift between Shirley and Pierce, the one who ponied up the money for her little endeavor.

Meanwhile, with Troy separated from Abed, it is enough to spur the appearance of Evil Abed, the devil that rests on the real Abed’s shoulder but unfortunately no angel resides on the other one. Evil Abed is trying to convince Abed to not to take part in any psych sessions with Britta, which they have made time to do. “You’re going to get diagnosed by a person who said her favorite comic character was X-Man?” Evil Abed asks. Instead, Britta shows up to see a felt beard-wearing Abed, assuming the role of Evil Abed. He is in this world to cause this real timeline to become the darkest timeline and he does so to start by turning the tables on Britta. With the timeline now 10% darker, he makes his next move: sawing off Jeff’s arm, as he is in the darkest timeline.

Troy is not having any fun at all at Air Conditioning school when Vice Dean Laybourne calls him into a hidden A/C museum. There is a prophecy that the school believes in called “The truest repairman”. “The true repair man will repair man,” Laybourne dreams, “It is your destiny.” Later, Laybourne dies while repairing a broken unit where a new Dean will be named, one that is much less deserving of the random title than Laybourne or even Troy.

Meanwhile, Jeff is representing Shirley in a half-ass court trial that takes place on campus, with Pelton of course as the judge. Representing Pierce is Jeff’s nemesis Alan (Rob Corddry) who only pretends to be Jeff’s old firm friend. After Alan slams Shirley’s character, Jeff calls Pierce to the stand and asks him one simple question, “Does anyone know any funny jokes?” Immediately, Pierce begins telling racial jokes and within minutes, the whole court is against him. Outside the “courtroom”, Evil Abed makes a move towards Jeff smiling devilishly, “Cruel. Cruel, Cruel, Cruel.”

At the Air Conditioning School, Troy storms into the coronation ceremony for the new Vice dean. “I have the right to challenge him in the sun chamber!” He exclaims, pointing to a pair of chambers which gradually gets hotter and hotter while two competitors must try to repair respective air conditioners or risk heatstroke and (gasp!) death. The bout starts and Troy appears to be doing nothing in the sun chamber while his competitor scrambles to fix his unit. With barely the flick of one switch, Troy’s unit is on full blast while the heat in his competitor’s skyrockets. Rather than let him die, Troy reaches in through a hole in the chamber and fixes the second unit and the staff proclaims him new Vice Dean. Troy dismisses the promotion, motioning to his competitor, “He killed someone. Take him to the police! You guys are weird…”

Back at the courtroom, Alan threatens that he won’t let Jeff back into the old firm if he doesn’t throw this fake case because he is the big dog now. Evil Abed enters the courtroom to cut off Jeff’s arm, but walks in in the middle of a rousing closing speech, “I want you to have what you want,” he offers, “I have no closing statement because I’m throwing the case. Shirley said what I want is more important. She’s right, right? Helping only ourselves is bad and helping each other is good.” The speech wins over the entire courtroom, even Pierce, who decides that Shirley should be the sole owner of the shop. In the closing moments of the show, The Dreamatorium comes down, Jeff starts a web search for his dad, and Shirley’s shop opens while Chang looms over City College.

In truth, had this been the series finale of Community, it would have been a nice little end to a great show. The themes of this group of friends banding together to beat the odds is the central theme around the entire show and calling back on it wraps a bow around the entire series. However, we can look forward to another thirteen (and hopefully more) episodes of Community next year when the series returns for a triumphant fourth year. Here’s hoping that a ship can sail without its captain.

Season 3, Episodes 20, 21, and 22: “Digital Estate Planning,” “The First Chang Dynasty,” and  ”Introduction to Finality” (original airdate May 17, 2012.) 

Images courtesy of NBC Universal.

Grey’s Anatomy Season Finale Review: Tears and Gore Galore

Season 8, Episode 24: “Flight” (original air date May 17, 2012).

Images courtesy of Danny Feld and ABC.

Supernatural Review: Dean Heads to the Hunger Games

Season seven’s finale wasn’t quite as shocking as season six’s, but I gotta say, the writers threw a curveball there. Long story short, the boys manage to kill Dick, but Cas (Misha Collins) and Dean (Jensen Ackles) are sent to purgatory along with him. Crowley (Mark Sheppard), the devil that he is, managed to kill two birds with one stone. It was really quite masterful and he’s way more interesting as a villain than Dick managed all season long.

From last week’s episode, we saw Dick trapped Crowley in a devil’s snare and then offered him drinks and a fair deal. The demons would get all of Canada but the U.S. was off limits, because let’s face it, it is their tier 1 market. I wonder why Europe and Asia wasn’t factored into this equation yet?

In any case, all Crowley had to do was give the Winchesters the blood of some common demon from New Jersey and pretend that it was his. Crowley takes the deal and goes into an extremely extensive contract negotiation with Dick. It turns out Crowley, former crossroads demon, is just as well versed in lawyer-y speak as Dick, the ultimate businessman.

Once that deal is struck, Dick is able to put the second phase of his plan into action. He has other Leviathans absorb some Dick Roman DNA so that doppelgängers of himself are roaming around SucroCorp, confusing the Winchesters, who are on their way to kill him. Dick’s top Leviathan executives also come in so that they can have a big meeting on how they are partitioning of the country into harvesting, breeding, etc.

In another stroke of Dick genius, we meet Polly, who is incredibly stoned from the Leviathan food she’s been ingesting. Earlier we see her being locked into one of the conference rooms where Kevin is also being held. He tries to get through to her, but she’s obviously too doped up to respond. When Polly is brought into the Leviathan boardroom, Dick injects her with a new drug they’ve created that immediately poisons and kills her. He informs the group this substance is being shipped out in non-dairy creamers to target those Americans who are essentially too health conscious for their own good. Leviathans like their Americans fat but cancer-free.

The Winchesters have their hands full dealing with Bobby and Cas. Cas and Meg come back to the cabin after Cas appeared at some hidden location where Meg was hiding out. He keeps insisting he cannot get directly involved in the fight because he’s afraid that he’s going to destroy everything the way he did the last time. Dean loses his cool and tells Cas that this is his mess and that he needs to clean it up. While the angel is still off his rocker, we do see that he recognizes something must be done about the Leviathans after his entire former garrison was killed by them. He tries to help by making the brothers an organic sandwich, to keep their strength up. While that is adorable, it isn’t really helping.

Sam (Jared Padalecki) and Dean get their hands on the bone of a super good nun that they are planning to use to kill Dick, and all they need is Crowley’s blood. They summon him but he’s unable to appear right away because he is still negotiating with Dick and stuck in another devil’s trap. When he finally appears, he sees Meg and Cas there with the Winchesters. His feathers are all ruffled and he’s promising extreme torture for Meg. He tells them Dick did offer him a fair deal but he’s giving the boys the real deal, it’s his blood. While there is no way that they can confirm for sure, they’ll just have to take the chance that Crowley wants Dick gone more than he wants them screwed over.

Sam and Dean’s first attempt at getting into SucroCorp is delayed when they notice the maid from the motel they had stayed at in last week’s episode. Sam puts together that Bobby has possessed her and tries to stop him from getting the poor woman killed. Bobby is nearly in full on vengeful spirit mode and nearly kills Sam but stops himself at the last second, releasing his hold on the woman. He appears before Sam and Dean at the cabin and admits he’s losing it.

Bobby is able to give a proper farewell. He tells the boys he’ll see him on the other side, but hopefully not too soon, and when it’s their time they shouldn’t make his mistake. Dean puts the flask on the fire and as it melts, Bobby burns and disappears. You don’t see that part on camera, which is just as well because it’s way too sad.

Cas is still reluctant to join in the fight, despite Crowley making it very clear that Cas is essential. He transports Dean to the Impala, where Dean tells the angel that if Dick is expecting them, well, then they are coming at him loud and proud. Cue the Impala smashing through SucroCorp to Born To Be Wild. Except Meg is driving and the brothers plus Cas are sneaking inside. Cas is able to spot the real Dick Roman from his doppelgängers.

At the lab, Dick samples the deadly non-dairy creamers when Cas and Dean arrive. Dean stabs him with what we think is the bone of Sister Mary, but Dick pulls it out. We all think Crowley double-crossed the Winchesters and Dick has won when Dean pulls out the real bone and jabs it into Dick’s neck. This time it’s the real deal and Dick emits a sound wave vibration like he’s going to explode. Except he has the creepiest grin on his face the entire time.

Sam arrives with Kevin just in time to see his unfold and Dick explode into Leviathan black goo. When everything clears, Dick, Dean and Cas are completely gone. Crowley appears and informs Sam that with Dick gone, it’ll be much easier for him to get rid of the other Leviathans because they’ll be in disarray. Meantime he will be taking the prophet. The demon tells Sam that this time he’s really on his own and pretty much says good luck with that before disappearing.

The season finale ends with Dean waking up in a very dark, creepy looking forest. Cas ominously asks “where would Dick go if he died?”

Back to purgatory, where they have both been blasted to previously as well.

Well damn I did not see that coming. That must have been why Dick was grinning because now he’s going to Hunger Games their asses. While Cas seems to be able to teleport his way around still, Dean is pretty much screwed because the angel disappears with a whole bunch of crazy looking monsters circling the hunter.

Ok now I’m intrigued again, because how the heck is Dean going to get out of there with a defective angel and Dick hunting him down? I don’t think you can really kill monsters in purgatory, they would probably just respawn. I hope they actually show Dean adventuring in purgatory because we have never seen a Winchester out of the mortal plane. When both Dean and Sam were in hell, we got flashes of it but never really saw what happened to them there on a daily basis. I, for one, am curious how a Winchester survives a different dimension.

It will also be interesting to see how Sam copes, now that he has to deal with Leviathans and demons by his lonesome and Meg is back in hell being tortured by Crowley. I’d like to see him really organize what’s left of the hunters to get rid of the rest of the Leviathans, then figure out how to help his brother and Cas return from purgatory. He will inevitably have to deal with Crowley again, as he’s probably the only one who knows how to do that.

See, that’s what makes an evil villain great. He has all his bases covered and isn’t just going to kill his adversary. No, he manages to get them to do the dirty work, screw them over, and makes it so that he has something to hold over the good guys. Crowley certainly didn’t get to be King of Hell on his good looks alone.

This hasn’t been the most exciting season of Supernatural, but we did see the relationship between Sam and Dean grow and it has given Crowley center stage to be our main bad guy in the end. Cas is still somewhat in the game and now the brothers will have to survive without each other for a little while at least.

See everyone back here for season eight!

Season 7, Episode 23: Survival of the Fittest (originally aired May 18, 2012)

Supernatural airs Friday nights at 8/7c on The CW

Images courtesy of Jack Rowand and The CW.

Next Page »