It’s that time of the season where spring has sprung, the weather is warmer, and another season of Dancing With the Stars has come to an end. I know that everyone is sad, and rightly so, but please don’t fret! This show returns more often than Lindsey Lohan to rehab. This show is on TV more times per year than the local nightly news. This show comes back from retirement more times than Barbara Streisand. My point is this . . . the show ain’t going anywhere! Tom and Brooke and the whole crazy gang of hilarious judges will all be back to hock that awful Mirrorball Trophy that is apparently filled with crack and methadone and $4 million dollars. Why else would everyone want that thing so badly? It’s something only Tommy B. knows, and for you to find out, you have to become a mediocre star, go on the show, dance your face off, and win the damn thing. Get to it!

In any case, we have come to the end. The Finals, and the great big Finale Event. The three that remain dancing are, of course, Donald and Peta, Katherine and Mark, and William and Cheryl. Each couple would dance two times. The first round is Judges’ Choice (a new routine to a style of dance the judges feel the couple needs improvement on), and the second round is the ever-popular, amazing, never disappointing Freestyle Dance where anything goes. During the finale episode, each couple had one final dance for judges’ votes only, but everybody knows that dance is pointless, since America has already voted at that point and I don’t believe for a second that last dance affects ANYTHING. I ain’t no fool!

William / Cheryl:

Judges’ Choice was the Cha-cha, and the couple got the help of Bruno Tonioli and his insanity. During rehearsal footage, he told William that he is “sex on legs” and I suppose he gave him some actual dancing tips in between the lusting. Their dance was sexy as hell; hip action and Will had the open shirt. What could be better than that really? Len said it was “loud and proud, and that was just your shirt!” (Okay Len. That joke bombed. You need to stop getting your material for jokes from the nursing home cafeteria ladies.) Bruno stood up and yelled: “It was intoxicating! Like a human COCK(pause, pause, pause)tale on the dance floor!” Right Bruno. You just wanted to say the word cock. Genius. The pair received a perfect score of 10/10/10.

Next up was the Freestyle and it was hot, fiery, Latin, and filled with lifts. It was exactly what we would expect from the talented William and more! However, cranky Len disagreed. “Too predictable! All you do is show your bum and shake it. I’m fed up with it!” to which Tom Bergeron observed, “I think that Len is suffering from bum envy.” Bruno thought it was sinful, and a “Latin-inspired extravaganza!” while Carrie Ann said the dance was “breaking new ground!” Len shot back, “What new ground? It was the same ole thing!” As Len continued to be cranky and ask for his prune juice, the judges kept arguing and scores were 10/9/10.

Katherine / Mark:

In the first round, the couple did a Pasa Doble with the help of judge Len Goodman, who assisted Katherine with her technical movements in the dance, or as Len says, the “duuuuuuuuunce.” The result was a gorgeous, flowing routine that made Katherine look “like a ballerina” (according to Carrie Ann), and was filled with “technical brilliance” (Bruno). Len enjoyed the “tasty tidbits” in his pants . . . I mean . . . in the duuuuuuunce. The pair received a perfect score of 10/10/10 and were happier than pie.

The Freestyle round brought forth one of my VERY favorite dances of the season, if not my favorite ever! I just looooove this style of music (swing), loved the song (Fosse’s “Sing, Sing, Sing” with Katherine herself singing the first few lines beautifully) and love the complicated, quick movements involved. Simply incredible. I could watch this again and again. Bruno called it a ”flamboyant tour de force, so much content, on the money!” Carrie Ann cheered, “this showed you off like a Champion!” and Len yelled, “Now THAT was a freestyle!” Another perfect 10/10/10 score.

Donald / Heavens to Peta Mergatroyd:

Judges’ choice was an Argentine Tango, with the help of judge Carrie Ann Inaba, who advised the pair to put more content into their routine to get that 10 score from Len. The dance was sharp, smooth, and very suave. But guess what? Len still didn’t hand out that 10 to Donald. When he said he found the dance to be “a bit careful” Tommy B. retorted: “He is really starting to annoy me.” Funny stuff. Backstage, scores were 10/9/10 and Donald promised that he would finally get that 10 from Len in the Freestyle dance.

For the Freestyle round, Donald and Peta did something that nobody would ever see coming from them . . . a country and western line-dance using Cowboy Troy. It was awesome! Tons of complicated, dangerous lifts! Incredible footwork! Carrie Ann called it her favorite dance of the night, Bruno commented that he can never resist the wild, wild west, and Len said something about how in football, catches equal matches. Matches? I think that’s tennis, you dope. Anyway, they loved it, and Donald FINALLY got his 10 from Len, on the last day of the season. Perfect score of 10/10/10.

The second night of the show was the “Finale Extravaganza”, where all the ex-stars come back out to play, and where they try to waste 2 hours of TV time with anything and everything, and then cram the Winner of the show into the last .16 seconds of airing. Each of the three couples also danced one more time for judges’ scores, but everyone knows that dance meant nothing.

Kelly Clarkson performed a medley of two of her big hits off her current album, and of course, promoted her upcoming new show to air Thursday night, Duets. When Kelly asked Tom Bergeron if he would like to do a duet with her on the show, he made a joke about how that would ruin the show immediately, but what Tommy B. doesnt understand is that THIS is what America wants to see. We want to see Tom and Brooke doing a Pasa Doble for scores. Or Tom and Kelly Clarkson butchering through a duet. Or Tom and Bruno getting freaky with a Jive. Any of that would be so much fun.

The cast of stars were all back in their glory for a final shining moment onstage. Sherri danced with Val and a whole slew of male pro-dancers to “It’s Raining Men” while the robotic twins Martina and Wagner both got their wooden steps in during a foursome dance. Jack still looked like David Bowie, and Martina is still a tennis legend and not a dancer. Gladys and Man Ass got their moment in the sun as well, and the show finally did what they should have done months ago, and had Gladys Knight do what she does best . . . SING! (duh!) She did a beautiful rendition of “The Way We Were” and the Empress of Soul was so moving, she actually moved herself to tears.

There were more dances, video montages, people crying, lots of people talking about how great other people are on the show, and then the Final 3 went down to the Final 2. With this group of 3 very talented and deserving dancers, it really could have been anyone. But it was William and Cheryl who took 3rd place, leaving Donald and Peta and Katherine and Mark as the Final Two.

And in those final seconds of the show, just before credits start to roll, they finally decide to tell us the winner. “And the winner . . . of season 12 of Dancing with the Stars and the MirrorBall Trophy . . . is . . .

DONALD AND PETA!!!!”

Yup. Who saw that coming? Maybe some did, but I thought it would be Katherine. However, I gotta say I have NEVER seen anyone on this show as excited as Donald was to win that cheesy, dumb trophy. He fell on the floor, he cried, he pumped his fists in the air, and he declared it as exciting as winning The Superbowl. Seriously – what is that trophy made of??? Tom Bergeron had a funny line when he went over to Donald and said, “Well, I have to ask you the question that Brooke always asks, How does it feel?” (Oh Tommy B., you know and I know that you know that I know that you know she asks that question so much becuase you read my reviews . . . I am your silent hero. I’m like a ghost-writer on the show with these reviews. I feel its time they start paying me now, or at least invite me to come sit in the damn audience already. I wanna meet Tommy B!) So, in the end, Heavens to Peta Mergatroyd gets her very first win as a pro-dancer, and yet another football player comes from behind to take the Trophy!!!!

Great season. Great dancers. Great cast. I don’t know how they are going to beat this one. My suggestion would be to go back to the “freak” route. Bring back the freaks!!! I will even give you a few ideas. How about Octo-mom? Talk about hilarious! Tony Danza! He claims to be a dancer in real life. I think he taps or something. Let’s see how good he is! Regis! How about The Fonz? He could punch a jukebox to begin every dance routine. You need someone older than dirt and funny. Don Rickles! Let’s see Rickles do the Argentine Tango without croaking! There are always so many injuries on the show, and that damn ambulance is on standby. Next season, we need a death. Someone needs to die . . . LLLLIIIIVEEEEEEE!!!!!!!

I will miss you Tommy. Until next time, which will, of course, be in about 2.5 months.

Season 14, Episodes 18 – 19 (originally aired May 21 & 22, 2012)

For more on Dancing With the Stars, click here.  Follow @poptimal.  Follow @kelleyiskelley.  Read Kelley’s blog, which chronicles the loss of her husband, at ripthelifeiknew here.

Dancing With the Stars airs Mondays at 8/7c and Tuesdays at 9/8 c on ABC.

Photographs courtesy of ABC/Adam Taylor

ABC has unveiled their new primetime schedule for Fall 2012, shifting some of their returning shows to all new nights. Fans of Revenge will find the series airing on Sunday nights at 9, taking Desperate Housewives’ old spot in the Fall. Tuesday nights will feature a brand new comedy hour as Happy Endings and Don’t Trust the B—- in Apartment 23 will ring in the 9 o’clock hour.

Joining the schedule in the new season will be 666 Park Avenue (Sundays at 10), The Neighbors (Wednesdays at 9:30), Nashville (Wednesdays at 10),  Last Resort (Thursdays at 8), and Malibu Country (Fridays at 8:30 starting in November). Midseason will see the return and premieres of The Bachelor, Body of Proof, The Family Tools, How to Live with you Parents (for the rest of you life), Mistresses, Red Widow, Wife Swap, and Zero Hour.

MONDAY
8/7c Dancing With the Stars
10 pm Castle

TUESDAY
8 pm DWTS Results
9 Happy Endings
9:30 pm Don’t Trust the B—– In Apartment 23
10 pm Private Practice

In January
8 pm HOW TO LIVE WITH YOUR PARENTS FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE
8:30 THE FAMILY TOOLS

WEDNESDAY?
8 pm The Middle
8:30 pm Suburgatory
9 pm Modern Family
9:30 THE NEIGHBORS
10 pm NASHVILLE

THURSDAY
8 pm LAST RESORT
9 pm Grey’s Anatomy
10 pm Scandal

FRIDAY
8 pm Shark Tank
9 pm Primetime: What Would You Do?
10 pm 20/20

In November
8 pm Last Man Standing
8:30 pm MALIBU COUNTRY
9 pm Shark Tank
10 pm Primetime: What Would You Do?

SATURDAY
8 pm Saturday Night College Football

SUNDAY?
7 America’s Funniest Home Videos
8 pm Once Upon a Time
9 pm Revenge
10 pm 666 PARK AVENUE

“666 PARK AVENUE”

At the ominous address of 666 Park Avenue, anything you desire can be yours. Everyone has needs, desires and ambition. For the residents of The Drake, these will all be met, courtesy of the building’s mysterious owner, Gavin Doran (Terry O’Quinn). But every Faustian contract comes with a price. When Jane Van Veen (Rachael Taylor) and Henry Martin (Dave Annable), an idealistic young couple from the Midwest, are offered the opportunity to manage the historic building, they not only fall prey to the machinations of Doran and his mysterious wife, Olivia (Vanessa Williams), but unwittingly begin to experience the shadowy, supernatural forces within the building that imprison and endanger the lives of the residents inside. Sexy, seductive and inviting, The Drake maintains a dark hold over all of its residents, tempting them through their ambitions and desires, in this chilling new drama that’s home to an epic struggle of good versus evil.

“LAST RESORT”

500 feet beneath the ocean’s surface, the U.S. ballistic missile submarine Colorado receive their orders. Over a radio channel, designed only to be used if their homeland has been wiped out, they’re told to fire nuclear weapons at Pakistan.

Captain Marcus Chaplin (Andre Braugher) demands confirmation of the orders only to be unceremoniously relieved of duty by the White House. XO Sam Kendal (Scott Speedman) finds himself suddenly in charge of the submarine and facing the same difficult decision. When he also refuses to fire without confirmation of the orders, the Colorado is targeted, fired upon, and hit. The submarine and its crew find themselves crippled on the ocean floor, declared rogue enemies of their own country. Now, with nowhere left to turn, Chaplin and Kendal take the sub on the run and bring the men and women of the Colorado to an exotic island. Here they will find refuge, romance and a chance at a new life, even as they try to clear their names and get home.

“MISTRESSES”

Welcome to a provocative and thrilling drama about the scandalous lives of a sexy and sassy group of four girlfriends, each on her own path to self-discovery, as they brave the turbulent journey together.

Meet Savi (Alyssa Milano), a successful career woman working toward the next phase in her life — both professional and personal — simultaneously bucking for partner at her law firm while she and her husband, Harry (Brett Tucker), try to start a family of their own. Savi’s free-spirited and capricious baby sister, Josselyn (Jes Macallan), couldn’t be more different – living single, serial dating and partying, and regularly leaning on her big sister along the way. Their common best friend, April (Rochelle Aytes), a recent widow and mother of two, is rebuilding her life after tragedy and learning to move forward, with the support and guidance of her closest girlfriends. And friend Karen (Yunjin Kim), a successful therapist with her own practice, reconnects with the girls after her involvement in a complicated relationship with a patient goes far too deep.

“NASHVILLE”

Chart-topping Rayna James (Connie Britton) is a country legend who’s had a career any singer would envy, though lately her popularity is starting to wane. Fans still line up to get her autograph, but she’s not packing the arenas like she used to. Rayna’s record label thinks a concert tour, opening for up-and-comer Juliette Barnes (Hayden Panettiere), the young and sexy future of country music, is just what Rayna needs. But scheming Juliette can’t wait to steal Rayna’s spotlight. Sharing a stage with that disrespectful, untalented, little vixen is the last thing Rayna wants to do, which sets up a power struggle for popularity. Could the undiscovered songwriting talent of Scarlett O’Connor (Clare Bowen) be the key to helping Rayna resurrect her career?

Complicating matters, Rayna’s wealthy but estranged father, Lamar Hampton (Powers Boothe), is a powerful force in business, Tennessee politics, and the lives of his two grown daughters. His drive for power results in a scheme to back Rayna’s handsome husband, Teddy, in a run for Mayor of Nashville, against Rayna’s wishes.

“RED WIDOW”

When Marta Walraven’s (Radha Mitchell) husband is brutally murdered, her first instinct is to protect her three young children. Her husband’s business partners – Irwin Petrova (Wil Traval), Marta’s scheming and untrustworthy brother, and Mike Tomlin (Lee Tergesen) — were involved in an illegal drug business deal with rival gangsters, and Marta’s husband paid the ultimate price. She already knows the violent world of organized crime; her father, Andrei Petrova (Rade Sherbedzija), and loyal bodyguard Luther (Luke Goss) are gangsters too. She and her sister Kat (Jaime Ray Newman) had always wished for a safer life without bloodshed and fear. For a while Marta lived happily as a stay at home housewife in San Marta’s cooperation, FBI Agent James Ramos (Mido Hamada) now promises justice.

Marta discovers a tenacity she never knew she had, and takes on the gangsters and the FBI to unveil the truth about her husband’s death. As she digs into this dark underworld, she’ll test her own strength, relying on her resourcefulness, determination and family ties like never before. To get out of this mob, she needs to beat the bad guys at their own deadly game.

“ZERO HOUR”

As the publisher of a paranormal enthusiast magazine, Modern Skeptic, Hank Galliston has spent his career following clues, debunking myths and solving conspiracies. A confessed paranormal junkie, his motto is “logic is the compass.” But when his beautiful wife, Laila (Jacinda Barrett), is abducted from her antique clock shop, Hank gets pulled into one of the most compelling mysteries in human history, stretching around the world and back centuries.

Contained in one of his wife’s clocks is a treasure map, and what it leads to could be cataclysmic. Now it’s up to Hank to decipher the symbols and unlock the secrets of the map, while ensuring the answers don’t fall into the wrong hands – a man they call White Vincent (Michael Nyqvist). With his two young associates, Rachel (Addison Timlin) and Arron (Scott Michael Foster), in tow, along with Becca Riley, a sexy FBI agent (Carmen Ejogo), Hank will lead them on a breathless race against the clock to find his wife and save humanity.

“HOW TO LIVE WITH YOUR PARENTS (FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE)”

Polly (Sarah Chalke) is a single mom who’s been divorced for almost a year. The transition wasn’t easy for her, especially in this economy. So, like a lot of young people living in this new reality, she and her daughter, Natalie (Rachel Eggleston), have moved back home with her eccentric parents, Elaine (Elizabeth Perkins) and Max (Brad Garrett). But Polly and her parents look at life through two different lenses. Polly’s too uptight. Her parents are too laid back. Polly’s conservative when it comes to dating (no action, whatsoever), while her parents are still sexually adventurous. They think Polly turned out okay, so what’s the big deal? Well, they say it takes a village to raise a child…and in Polly’s case, this village is on fire. But with help from her best friend Gregg (Orlando Jones), her lovable yet irresponsible ex-husband Julian (Jon Dore) and her cool and fun assistant Jenn (Rebecca Delgado Smith) Polly takes her first steps toward getting a life, starting with a social one.

“MALIBU COUNTRY”

When Reba Gallagher (Reba) discovers that her husband, Bobby, (Jeffrey Nordling) a country music legend, has a cheatin’ heart, her world is turned upside down. Reba dreamt of becoming a country star herself, but put her career on hold to raise a family. Now she’s questioning all of that, big-time. With the ink on her divorce barely dry, Reba packs up her sharp-tongued mother, Lillie May (Lily Tomlin), her two kids and the U-Haul and heads for sunny California to begin a new chapter. Leaving Nashville in the rear view, they start over at their Malibu residence — the last remaining asset they have. Reba gets to know her new open and loving neighbor Kim (Sara Rue) and her son, Sage, but also discovers that relocation to Southern California is going to be quite an adjustment for a traditional southern belle: the West Coast seems like the polar opposite of Music City, and Reba feels like an outsider. Still, with the support of her family she sets about finding her voice, jump-starting her music career with the help of her new music agent, Geoffrey (Jai Rodriguez), and embracing this chance to begin again.

“THE NEIGHBORS”

How well do you know your neighbors?

Meet the Weavers, Debbie (Jami Gertz) and Marty (Lenny Venito). Marty, in hopes of providing a better life for his wife and three kids, recently bought a home in Hidden Hills, a gated New Jersey townhome community with its own golf course. Hidden Hills is so exclusive that a house hasn’t come on the market in 10 years. But one finally did and the Weavers got it!

It’s clear from day one that the residents of Hidden Hills are a little different. For starters, their new neighbors all have pro-athlete names like Reggie Jackson (Tim Jo), Jackie Joyner-Kersee (Toks Olagundoye), Dick Butkis (Ian Patrick) and Larry Bird (Simon Templeman). Over dinner, Marty and his family discover that their neighbors receive nourishment through their eyes by reading books, rather than eating. The Weavers soon learn that the entire community is comprised of aliens from Zabvron, where the men bear children and everyone cries green goo from their ears.

The Zabvronians have been stationed on Earth for the past 10 years, disguised as humans, awaiting instructions from home, and the Weavers are the first humans they’ve had the opportunity to know. As it turns out, the pressures of marriage and parenthood are not exclusive to planet Earth. Two worlds will collide with hilarious consequences as everyone discovers they can “totally relate” and learn a lot from each other.

“THE FAMILY TOOLS”

Mixing family with business is never easy, and Jack Shea (Kyle Bornheimer) is about to learn that lesson the hard way. When Jack’s father, Tony (J.K. Simmons), has a heart attack and is forced to hand over the keys to his beloved handyman business, Jack is eager to finally step up and make his father proud. Unfortunately Jack’s past career efforts have been less than stellar, so everyone seems to be waiting for him to fail. His new job isn’t made any easier by Tony’s rebellious, troublemaker assistant, Darren (Edi Gathegi), and Darren’s flirtatious sister, Liz (Danielle Nicolet), who works at the local hardware store. Yet with the support of his Aunt Terry (Leah Remini) and his oddball yet endearing cousin Mason (Johnny Pemberton), Jack Shea may just find his true calling right at home.

Videos courtesy of ABC.

We’ve all watched a lot of finales in the past couple of weeks, and in the next few, we’ll watch some more. Regardless, what Once Upon A Time gave us Sunday night will stand up and out as one of the best of the year. It paid us off on storylines we’ve been following for months, moved the story forward, and gave us that trademark giant question mark going into next season.

All year, we’ve been waiting for the event that will finally open Emma’s eyes and make her believe in not only her past, but her destiny.  It turns out that Regina (Lana Parrilla) poisoning Henry (Jared Gilmore) instead of Emma with her deadly, magic apple is the push she needed.

As the doctors try to figure out what happened to Henry, Emma dumps out his bag, desperate to find a logical solution to what’s happening to her son. With the doctors in one ear saying that nothing that’s happening makes medical sense, Emma (Jennifer Morrison) picks up Henry’s fairytale book…and she remembers everything.

I love that Henry in danger is the thing that makes her believe, and I love that they used the book that began everything as the catalyst. The perfect execution of the moment we’ve been waiting for through an entire season.

In a moment borne of pure desperation, Regina and Emma team up to find a cure for their son. Who else would you go to in a moment like this but Mr. Gold (Robert Carlyle)? He tells them that he does have a bit of bottled true love from Emma’s parents, and that if they can retrieve it, it would be powerful enough to save Henry’s life.

In a parallel scene, Prince Charming (Josh Dallas) escapes from jail with the help of the Huntsman (Jamie Dornan cameo, yay!), and rides through an enchanted forest in search of Snow White. He’s hopelessly lost when he stumbles across Rumplestilskin, who is willing to help Charming find his true love, of course for a price. This time, he’s interested in keeping his bottled true love safe for a rainy day…in the belly of a beast.

The beast in question is Maleficent in dragon form, who Regina has trapped below Storybrooke. All those years ago, Charming buried the most powerful magic of all in Maleficent’s belly and now, in order to save Henry, Emma takes her father’s sword and goes to get it back. She succeeds, but for some unfathomable reason trusts Gold, who steals his potion for his own, always mysterious reason.

As a small subplot, the Mad Hatter (Sebastian Stan) hasn’t forgotten Regina’s promise from last week, but when she refuses to follow through and return his daughter, he exacts his revenge on Henry. But that’s not even enough. He makes his way down into Regina’s little dungeon of terror and releases Belle (Emilie de Ravin), instructing her to find Gold and tell him that Regina has held her captive all this time.

Mary Margaret (Ginnifer Goodwin) reads the conclusion of Snow White and Prince Charming’s tale while in Fairytale Land, it plays out in real time. With true love’s kiss, the most powerful thing in the world, Snow and Charming reinvigorate the entire land. It appears Storybrooke won’t have the same ending, though, because as she concludes the tale, Henry dies.

But there is more than one kind of true love, and when Emma kisses her dead son, Henry wakes up – and so do all of the displaced storybook people living in a world with no magic.

Regina is horribly upset at the loss of her son, seemingly even unconcerned that suddenly everyone in Storybrooke wants her dead. But Henry’s alive, and Emma has broken the curse. There are some lovely moments as this takes place, but my favorite (and I’m sure yours too) is the tear-inducing reunion of Prince Charming and Snow White. The writers have done such a fantastic job with their backstory, their love story, that seeing them finally awakened and back in one another’s arms is one of the most beautiful moments I’ve seen on network television.

The last scene (and honestly, the only part of the finale that didn’t sit 100% well with me), features Belle going to Mr. Gold. He’s thrilled to see her alive, obviously, but drags her into the woods for an unknown purpose. As they reach the magic well that August (Eion Bailey, who turned completely to wood while voicing his belief in Emma) showed us earlier in the season – the one with the ability to return what was once lost – she remembers who he is, and that she loves him. He loves her too, but as with a previous version of himself, Belle’s love is not enough for Rumplestilskin. He dumps the true love potion into the well, and it returns a purple fog that races over Storybrooke – returning magic into this world.

I love the twist, and that we’re left to wonder what this means for all of our characters next season, but I’m a little confused what Gold’s motivation is, exactly. We’ve seen him as a selfish creature obsessed with magic in Fairytale Land, but have been led to believe that he’s become a man who regrets the mistakes he’s made, who believes that magic is what ruined his life, who wishes he had a chance to do it all over again and set things right.

But now, with that chance within his grasp – the curse broken, his one true love returned to him – he brings back magic, the very thing that corrupted him. He gives power back to Regina, who could have been caught and punished for her crimes.

On one hand, it’s hard to believe he would do that. On the other, maybe it’s not.  Magic has always been his Achilles heel, the one thing he can’t resist even though it’s ruining everything, and in this sense I believe it’s akin to the effect of absolute power on the lives of so many. It’s heady, and hard to imagine living without now that he knows what it’s like to live with it. Maybe he thinks he’s changed enough to control it, to not allow the power of magic to corrupt him again, but I think he’s got a long way to go.

I also think, as we move forward, we’ll see that Henry, Emma, Charming, and Snow have never been the heroes of this piece. It’s him. Rumplestilskin’s journey from rags to riches (power), his downfall, and his beleaguered and stumbling search for redemption is the focus of this tale.

I, for one, can’t wait to take it with the kind of writers who can bring us a finale like this.

Season 1, Episode 22 “A Land Without Magic” (originally aired May 13, 2012)

Once Upon A Time airs Sunday nights at 8/7c on ABC.

Images courtesy of David Gray and ABC.

Wonder what the fate of your favorite television shows are? Check out below to find out whether they’ve been renewed or cancelled.

CBS

Renewed

• 2 Broke Girls
• The Amazing Race
• The Big Bang Theory
• Blue Bloods
• Criminal Minds
• CSI
• CSI: New York
• The Good Wife
• Hawaii Five-0
• How I Met Your Mother
• The Mentalist
• Mike & Molly
• NCIS
• NCIS: Los Angeles
• Person of Interest
• Rules of Engagement
• Survivor
• Two and a Half Men
• Undercover Boss

• 30 Rock – Final Season: 13 Episodes
• The Biggest Loser
• Celebrity Apprentice
• Community – 13 Episode Renewal
• Fashion Star
• Grimm
• Harry’s Law
• Law & Order: SVU
• The Office
• Parenthood
• Parks and Recreation – 22 Episode Renewal
• Smash
• The Voice
• Up All Night
• Whitney

Canceled

• Are You There, Chelsea?
• Awake
• Bent
• Best Friends Forever
• Chuck – Series Final Aired in January
• Fear Factor
• Free Agents
• The Firm
• The Marriage Rep
• Minute to Win It
• The Playboy Club
• Prime Suspect
• The Sing-Off
• Who Do You Think You Are?

FOX

Renewed

• American Dad
• American Idol
• Bob’s Burgers
• Bones
• The Cleveland Show
• Family Guy
• Fringe – Final Season: 13 Episodes
• Glee
• Kitchen Nightmares
• New Girl
• Raising Hope
• The Simpsons
• Touch
• The X Factor

Canceled

• Alcatraz
• Allen Gregory
• Breaking In
• The Finder
• House
• I Hate My Teenage Daughter
• Napoleon Dynamite
• Terranova

ABC

Renewed

• The Bachelor
• The Bachelorette
• Body of Proof
• Castle
• Cougar Town – Moving to TBS for Season 4
• Dancing With The Stars
• Don’t Trust The B— in Apartment 23
• Grey’s Anatomy
• Happy Endings – 22 Episode Order
• Last Man Standing
• The Middle
• Modern Family
• Once Upon A Time
• Private Practice
• Revenge
• Scandal
• Suburgatory
• Shark Tank

Canceled

• Charlie’s Angels
• Desperate Housewives
• Extreme Makeover: Home Edition
• GCB
• Man Up
• Missing
• Pan Am
• The River
• Work It

The CW

Renewed

• 90210
• America’s Next Top Model
• Gossip Girl – Final Season (11 Episodes)
• Hart of Dixie
• Nikita
• Supernatural
• The Vampire Diaries

Canceled

• H8R
• One Tree Hill
• Ringer
• Remodeled
• The Secret Circle

The title of this episode is The Stranger, and even though we’ve been referring to August W. Booth as the stranger all these weeks, I agree with my friend Ali that the title doesn’t refer to him any longer. August (Eion Bailey) came to Storybrooke shortly after Emma (Jennifer Morrison) arrived and time began to move forward again, and has kept his past, his identity, and his intentions a secret up until now.

Emma sent last week’s Once Upon A Time out with a bang as she informed Regina she would be seeking custody of Henry (Jared Gilmore). We pick up right where we left off, with Emma, August, and Mary Margaret (Ginnifer Goodwin) installing new locks and discussing how best to break Regina’s chokehold on the town of Storybrooke. Emma thinks Mr. Gold (Robert Carlyle) is the answer, and brushes off August’s insistence that he can show her the only real way to defeat Regina (Lana Parilla) for good.

Frustrated with Emma, August goes to Gold for help, asking him to shoo the headstrong sheriff his direction. For reasons that remain a mystery to everyone except Mr. Gold, he obliges, and the puzzling Mr. Booth gets his audience with the storied savior of magic and fairytale characters everywhere.

The problem is, Emma has no interest in saving anyone except Henry.

But just who is August W. Booth, you ask? People have been speculating for weeks, some sure he can’t be magical, since he can come and go from Storybrooke, and others assuming he might have left FairytaleLand prior to the curse, like Emma and Baelfire.

Those who thought the latter guessed correctly, as we travel toFairytale Land and meet Geppetto and his little wooden boy.

Yes, the Stranger a.k.a. August W. Booth, is Pinocchio.

Earlier in the episode, Henry notices his book of tales has been altered. The story of Pinocchio has been added, but the strange thing is, the ending is missing. If you’ll recall, Mr. Booth took Henry’s book apart and then put it back together earlier in the season, and we can now assume he was including his very own story.

It doesn’t end the way Walt Disney would have us believe, either. The storytellers on Once Upon A Time continue to dazzle me with their creativity and the way they discover new and subtle ways for the characters of different stories to cross one another’s paths. Pinocchio is turned into a real boy by the Blue Fairy (Keegan Connor Tracy) after he saves his father’s life, but when the news of the curse spreads through the land, everyone is forced to make hard choices. The Blue Fairy asks Geppetto (Tony Amendola) to fashion the wardrobe from an enchanted tree. The very wardrobe that will spirit Snow and Charming away with their unborn child.

Unfortunately, the tree only contains enough magic to save two people, and once Geppetto learns of the curse, he can think of nothing but what the loss of magic could mean for his son. He agrees to make the cabinet, but only if Pinocchio gets the second spot.

Everyone begs him to reconsider when it becomes clear Snow White will give birth before they’re able to get her away. Someone needs to be with the child, to teach her about magic and tell her about her destiny to save her people from the Evil Queen’s curse. But Geppetto refuses to give up on Pinocchio, sending him through the cabinet with instructions to look after Emma.

In a moment of weakness (he is only a seven-year-old boy, after all), little August abandons his charge, leaving Emma to grow up alone. When adult Emma returned to Storybrooke, moving time forward, August began to turn back into wood. He returned, intent on making good on the promise he made his father all those years ago – to make Emma believe in her fate.

Only Emma grew up in a world not only without magic, but without love, and perhaps most importantly, without belief in anything at all. We’ve watched her struggle with the responsibility of being Henry’s mother, taking on the role of sheriff, and supporting Mary Margaret. She’s taken on a lot of people in these past several weeks, and it’s easy to see that it’s hard for her sometimes, to be part of a community. It’s not how she learned to protect herself as a child, and every person she lets in is also a person she could let down.

When August confronts her with the knowledge that he’s the boy who found her, and it was his job to tell her about the curse from the very beginning – that everyone in the entire fairytale world is depending on her – Emma snaps. She’s focused on getting custody of Henry right now, and that’s all she can handle. Not only does she not believe in the curse, she doesn’t want to believe in the curse. The power of her will to not see what’s in front of her face is stronger than August suspected, and he feels as though he has failed everyone he ever loved by running away twenty-eight years ago.

Quick Extras:

August finds his father Marco in Storybrooke, and makes an effort at reconciliation, though the older man doesn’t remember who he is. August was just a little boy, and it’s hard to hold him accountable for his abandonment of baby Emma, as much as we might like to. I’m still rooting for him.

Regina, after being put in her place in a very righteous Snow White like manner by Mary Margaret, tries to seduce David (Josh Dallas). He’s working on redeeming himself in our eyes too, so thank goodness he doesn’t fall for her treachery.

Emma steals Henry in a panic, wanting to get out of Storybrooke and away from these crazy people who seem to be depending on her for a deliverance she can’t (or won’t) understand.

You see, Emma is the Stranger. To Fairytale Land, yes, but also to magic. To love. To belief.

She’s on a journey that she didn’t choose, and one she keeps trying to turn back from. What August W. Booth wants her to see is that one can’t run from their destiny.

The episode is strong. Good writing, nice acting, and full of ideas that spark the imagination and dazzle the children inside of us with their twists on the tales that delighted us in our formative years.

What doesn’t work for me is Emma. A few weeks ago, in the Mad Hatter episode, little fissures appeared in her strong belief that there is no curse, no fairytales, but since then, she seems to be traveling backward.  We’ve been told over and over that she doesn’t trust easily, that she’s fiercely independent, and that she takes care of herself. I wish we could see Emma’s past, feel the experiences and abuses and neglect that made her the woman she is today. We can use stereotypes of foster children, orphans, to fill in the gaps, but those experiences aren’t personal. We haven’t been privy to Emma’s particulars, felt the pain she experienced, and without seeing what formed her, the intense desire to ignore what’s in front of her face rings false. My head believes she would react that way, but my gut ain’t buying it.

It’s human nature to have selective eyesight. If our wish to deny something is strong enough, we simply don’t see the facts in front of us. It’s possible Emma has her reasons to scramble away from the truth of the curse, of her past, with such determined ferocity. It could be believable.

I want to believe in the truth of Emma’s character. But I’m not there yet.

Season 1, Episode 20 “The Stranger” (originally aired April 29, 2012)

Once Upon A Time airs Sunday nights at 8/7c on ABC.

Images courtesy of Jack Rowand and ABC.

What do you get when you cross The Temptations with Smokey Robinson, add a splash of Martha Reeves, and stir? You get MOTOWN Week on Dancing With the Stars, of course! And if you’re still not certain it’s Motown Week, the ginormous cheesy sign above the dance floor that reads “MOTOWN” will certainly tell you. Brooke Burke Charvey with her random, Snooki bouffant hairdo, and the delightful Tom Bergeron started off the show by introducing the first of many performances by Smokey Robinson; whose leathery face is frozen in time. It’s okay though, because it froze while he was smiling. So that’s nice for him. The 8 remaining couples danced to music that was performed “LIIIIVEE!!!!” by The Temptations, Smokey Robinson, and Martha Reeves. Let us get to the dancing, shall we?

The Legend / Man Ass Leprechaun

This was Glady’s week, so it was important to get as many references to her legendary status in there as possible. The “Empress of Soul” and “music legend” (Brooke managed to use BOTH phrases in one sentence) danced a Rumba to the Temptations’ “My Girl.” The cute little Lucky Charms leprechaun also referred to the amazing Gladys when he said how magically lucky and delicious he felt to be dancing with a such a legend. On the dance floor, they looked like two large grapes in their ridiculous purple outfits. Gladys was given the weirdest, shiniest looking wig of all time (I think it was a “legendary” wig, as far as wigs go), and the dancing? Eh – it was okay. The judges poured out their hearts to her per usual, especially Len, who said “If I was home right now, I’d be on the phone voting for you.” If Len was home, he’d be on the throne pooping. I think that’s what he meant to say. Judges’ scores were 7/7/7.

Maria / Derek:

While Martha Reeves sang the live version of “Jimmy Mac,” the couple performed a foxtrot dance. Their movements were sophisticated and elegant, as Bruno pointed out. I don’t have much else to say about this couple, except that backstage, Derek seemed unbelievably hyper and strange. Maria had a slight slip on her dress during the dance, but they still got high scores of 8/9/9. Brooke asked “How does that feel?” and then moved the microphone away from their face as they tried to answer.

Roshon / Chelsie:

The song was “Cruisin’”by Smokey Robinson & The Miracles. The dance was a Rumba. Good ole’ Disneyboy got pretty sensual with this one, with slow and sexy moves throughout the dance and playing up the character. Horny Carrie Ann found it “sexy”. Cranky Len said it was “clipped and jerky,” like the end of his penis. Bruno commented “What you lack in size you make up for in fire!” (That’s what she said.) As he said this, he almost knocked Len over with his flailing arms of enthusiasm. Scores were 7/8/8.

Katherine / Mark:

My favorite dancer by far in this competition. This woman is so talented, and I just hope she continues to get the votes from an American audience who don’t really know who she is. They danced a Samba to The Temptations’ “Can’t Get Next to You” and it was filled with fantastic movement and flow. Len had a cheesy but funny line, “You’re like a Midwife! You just keep delivering week after week!” Bruno said something about Brazil and funkytown and a marriage and . . . oh, who the hell knows what that crazy dude is talking about. Scores were 10/9/10, because Len is a party pooper keeping people from perfect tens. If he was an Olympic judge, Mary Lou Retton would not be what she is today.

Donald / Heavens to Peta Mergatroyd:

The song was “The Way You Do the Things You Do” by The Temptations, and they both were wearing strange looking aqua colored costumes. Really nice dance though. They had good fluid movement throughout, and lots of fun to watch. Donald is very entertaining, and knows how to work a crowd. Bruno yelled: “Pizazz! Power! Confidence! You should be in the theatre!” Len yelled at Bruno: “Sit DOWN!”, which was hilarious, before telling Donald that his dance was excellent this week. Brooke reminded us backstage to vote, because nobody can get by on judges’ scores alone. It’s important to also eat a balanced breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Scores were 9/9/9.

Melissa / Maksim:

They did a Viennese Waltz as Smokey Robinson tried to move his smiling mouth to sing. Melissa’s eyes and eye parts continue to fall off and look like Mr. Potato Head pieces. After watching Mak’s famous temper flare once again during rehearsal footage, Tommy B. introduced him as “charm school drop-out Maksim” which was hilarious. Their dance was quite good, I just get bored by them for some reason. She grates on my nerves, and I think she grates on Maksim’s too. Carrie Ann saw a lot of improvement in her dance, calling it “artistry and poetry.” Their scores were 8/8/9.

Jaleel / Kym:

More music from the Temptations with “Ain’t Too Proud to Beg” as the couple danced the Cha cha. For some reason, I can’t get into this Urkel dude, but he is a pretty good dancer. He just looks like a giant insect and it distracts me. Bruno said that ole’ Bug Eyes was the “biggest sizzler of the season!” Then he randomly quoted Kelly Clarkson, “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger!” Um, okay. Relax. Judges’ scores were very high with 10/9/10.

William / Cheryl:

My second favorite couple in the competition; their Rumba was again spicy, hot, and sultry. Dancing a slow dance to “Being With You,” their movements inspired a series of comments that ended in total hilarity and chaos:

Bruno: It was utter filth and I loved every minute of it! You two are wired for sex!

Horny Carrie Ann: On behalf of women everywhere, THANK YOU!

Len: Raunchy, harsh, too hectic. It was good, but I can’t go into ecstasy over it like some people here!

Bruno: He needs Viagra.

Tommy B: Hellooooooo!!!

Freakin’ hilarious. Bruno is so out of control and I love him. Scores were 9/8/10.

MOTOWN MARATHON:

This was a dance competition where all the couples danced at the same time on the dance floor. As it started, Tommy B. made his voice all whispery-like, and announced: “I’m now reverting to my golf announcer voice as they get into position.” (Tommy B. – are you married? You are so damn hilarious and my crush on you knows no bounds.)  As they danced, judges chose couples to leave the floor, and they would get tapped on the shoulder to exit. The first couple to exit the floor was Gladys and Man Ass. They exited in a legendary manner. The last couple on the floor were Katherine and Mark. YAY!!! They got an extra 10 points added to their overall score for winning, and everyone else got a few points added as well, depending on when they were asked to leave the floor.

ELIMINATION SHOW:

Lots of things killed time during the show, such as the Macy’s Stars of Dance performance, more Motown performances, and talking to founder of Motown Barry Gordy, who was seated in the audience. I was very surprised that given the constant chatter about what a legend Gladys Knight is, that they didn’t have her SING during Motown Week! I mean, that just seemed sort of obvious to me. She is still touring, she is still good, and why have yet one more performance by The Temptations, when you’ve got Miss Legend right there? Why the hell didn’t she sing? Explain yourselves, producers.

After all the malarkey, the bottom two were Roshon/Chelsie, and Gladys / Man Ass. They both did the Dance Dual to a Jive, and in the end, two of the three judges chose to save Roshon – The Disneyboy. So legendary Gladys went home, and now she will have to watch from her legendary TV. Her last words were really nice: DWTS gives you another look at life. It’s like a fountain of youth.” A legendary fountain of youth.

Season 14, Episodes 10-11 (originally aired April 23 & 24, 2012)

For more on Dancing With the Stars, click here.  Follow @poptimal.  Follow @kelleyiskelley.  Read Kelley’s blog, which chronicles the loss of her husband, at ripthelifeiknew here.

Dancing With the Stars airs Mondays at 8/7c and Tuesdays at 9/8 c on ABC.

Photographs courtesy of ABC/Adam Taylor

Once Upon A Time was back with a bang Sunday night, ushering in its final push of the season with a few answers, yes, but also a bevy of new questions.

Mary Margaret (Ginnifer Goodwin) has been cleared of murder, since Kathryn (Anastasia Griffith) isn’t actually dead. All of the people who believed her guilty are her friends again, David (Josh Dallas) included. When he tries to attend her coming home party, Emma (Jennifer Morrison) advises him to give Mary Margaret some more time.

August W. Booth (Eion Bailey) continues his friendship with Henry (Jared Gilmore), playing on the boy’s hopes for getting Emma to believe in the fairytale book, and talks him into helping with a scheme. Henry goes into Mr. Gold’s shop to buy a gift for Miss Blanchard while August slips in through the back to snoop. He’s looking for something, and his actions make us wonder if he could be Baelfire, Rumplestilskin’s son.

Mr. Gold (Robert Carlyle) catches him there, and his own suspicions take flight. He and Regina (Lana Parrilla) also have it out, because according to her, he broke their deal to get rid of Kathryn and frame Mary Margaret. While Regina believed her intent to have Kathryn murdered was clear, Gold sees things otherwise. She reminds him that they’re on the same side, have always been on the same side, and wonders aloud why he created the curse if it wasn’t for her.

He looks her in the eye, and tells her he’s only ever broken one deal in his life, and it wasn’t the one he made with her. He had his own reasons for helping her create the curse that brought them to Storybrooke, but if she wants to know what they are, she’ll have to figure it out on her own.

But we won’t have to wonder, because I’m going to tell you what it is in a minute.

Kathryn and David have a moment in the hospital, just to make it clear their relationship is still over even after her tragic disappearance. The interaction between the two of them is a nice mirror of their interactions in Fairytale Land, where they had an easy affection for one another but no romance. Honestly it’s one of the first things about them in Storybrooke that has made sense.

In Fairytale Land, the villagers live in fear of Rumplestilskin. He murders people for accidentally hurting his son, or for no reason at all. The war with the ogres was put to an end by his power, so he believes the land owes him such a debt that he’s allowed to behave however he chooses. But Baelfire hates what his father is becoming, and makes a deal with him. If Bae can find a way for things to go back to normal that doesn’t end in his father’s death by that magic dagger, then they’ll take it.

The Blue Fairy gives Bae the answer in the form of a magic bean, the last one known to their world. It will take him and his father to a world without magic, where they can be together. It’s the only way, because the last bit of goodness inside Rumplestilskin is his love for his son. When Bae tells his father he’s found a way out, Rumplestilskin hesitates. For all of his love for his son, and his good intentions in making the deal, he’s afraid of losing his magic. The darkness is taking him over, and the more power he has, the more he craves.

When Bae throws the bean to the ground, creating a portal to a world with no magic, Rumplestilskin lets go of him at the last moment. He’s alone in Fairytale Land, but he promises the Blue Fairy that he will find a way to reunite with his boy.

Storybrooke is a distinctly un-magical place these days. David doesn’t take Emma’s advice, instead waiting for Mary Margaret outside her school. When he confronts her, apologizing for not believing in her, the moment fills with sadness. He’s just a man, and he made a mistake.

We understand that, as an audience, and Mary Margaret understands it too. But she can’t get the image of his face, not believing in her, out of her mind. The fact that they love one another doesn’t ever seem to be enough.

And, in her words, “that’s what makes the whole thing so sad.”

Mr. Gold snoops through August W. Booth’s room and finds a drawing of the knife that gave him his power in Fairytale Land. He’s convinced the man is his son, who came to our world long before the curse sent everyone else here too. He talks with Archie Hopper (Raphael Sbarge), confessing that although he wants his son’s forgiveness more than anything in the world, he fears the boy is beyond the ability to grant it to him. Archie advises him to tell August the truth, and let the chips fall where they may.

Mr. Gold does just that in a tension-filled, emotional scene that leaves both men in an embrace of forgiveness. AWB feared that his father would never be able to change while the knife still existed, and to prove that he has, Gold shows him where it’s hidden. After they dig it up, AWB uses it to try to control Gold into doing his bidding.

At that moment, Gold knows this man cannot be his son. His son would know there is no magic in this world, and that the knife would have no effect (other than being sharp and all that). AWB breaks down, admitting he’s not Baelfire, but that he needs magic to cure an illness – he’s dying. He came to Storybrooke to try to get Emma to believe, to free them all and restore them to their world so that magic could return.

Gold tells AWB that he has a chance to do just that, because Emma trusts him, and that he shouldn’t give up.

Like I said, we learned a few things. Kathryn is alive, and Regina talked Sidney Glass (Giancarlo Esposito) into taking the fall. Emma doesn’t believe her, and at the end of the night challenged Regina head on for the first time in weeks – and promised she’s going to do everything in her power to get her son back.

David and Mary Margaret are on hold, at least for now, and as much as it hurts and as much as we won’t stop wanting them to be together, it’s the right move for the series right now. Those will-they-won’t-they storylines get old fast, and some time apart is the best thing for everyone involved (audience included). Plus, he’s still kind of a douche bag and Mary Margaret could do better. My opinion.

August W. Booth is not Baelfire…but Baelfire is somewhere in our world. I ask you this: could the real Baelfire be Henry’s father? And if AWB isn’t Baelfire, then who is he? How did he learn about the knife, or who Rumplestilskin is, or come to believe in magic and fairytales with such certainty?

I’m not sure I loved the “I’m dying” explanation for AWB’s pursuit of the knife (and his attempt to masquerade as Baelfire). It seems a little bit lazy, which is not something I associate with the writers of this show, and also it’s selfish. It doesn’t make me like AWB, or care about what happens to him, and that means I’m going to be bored with his storyline in the future.

On the farthest possible opposite hand, the villain they’ve created in Rumplestilskin is close to perfect. He is evil in Fairytale Land, but it’s easy to see how that kind of unlimited power corrupted his soul. His love for his son, in that world and in ours, is endearing and sympathetic. We may not ever like him, but we understand him.

He created the curse so that he could come to our world to find Baelfire. Regina assumes he did it because of the deal they struck, but now we’re left to wonder if he is for or against Emma breaking the curse and sending them all home. We do know he left AWB alive (for now) and with a fighting chance to get Emma to believe.

So is Mr. Gold working with Regina, against Regina, or as Emma said, “diagonally” Regina?

Until next time, lovelies.

Season 1, Episode 19 “The Return” (originally aired April 22, 2012)

Once Upon A Time airs Sunday nights at 8/7c on ABC

Images courtesy of Jack Rowand and ABC.

We’ve been waiting all season to learn what horrible atrocity Snow White committed in the past that could have earned her the undying and considerable hatred of our very own Evil Queen. The Queen has made no secret of her desire to make Snow pay for her crime, both in Fairytale Land and in Storybrooke, and even Snow White acknowledged the fact that she “ruined the Queen’s life” when explaining the situation to Charming.

It made me nervous, the revelation of this secret, the answer to this mystery that has held a growing audience captive for months. I worried that after such a buildup, reality might feel anticlimactic. I fretted that the status quo would be upset, that Regina (Lana Parrilla) would suddenly become a woman hard to hate – which under normal circumstances would be exactly the kind of “bad” guy I love to see – but the mythology in this show (in all fairytales) is that even though people are complicated, there is still good, and there is evil. Regina and Rumplestilskin reminded us a couple of weeks ago that evil is not born, it is made. I should have trusted the writers to bring us a reveal worthy of the stories and characters they’ve created.

In Fairytale Land, we meet a beautiful young Regina. She’s full of vigor and passion, and wants to live a life of her own choosing. Her father dotes on her, but her mother Cora (Barbary Hershey) has grand plans for her only child. She’ll use whatever methods are at her disposal, be it guilt, threats, or potent magic, to ensure Regina continues their family’s upward social climb. Regina is in love with Daniel (Noah Bean), the stable boy, but the two of them haven’t gotten up the courage to talk to Cora about their intention to marry. Regina laments that they can’t fight her mother, her magic is too strong, but Daniel reminds her that nothing is more powerful than true love.

At that moment a little girl gallops past on an out of control horse, screaming for help. Regina rescues her, even giving her a pep talk about getting back on the horse right away, and the two of them share a sweet moment. The little girl is, of course, a young Snow White (played by Bailee Madison). The two bond, and when the King comes to pay his thanks, he also asks Regina to marry him. Her mother accepts without thinking, forcing Regina’s hand. She and Daniel decide to run away together, but when they’re caught kissing in the barn by little Snow, their love story takes a dangerous turn.

Storybrooke is also a dark place these days, with the sweet Mary Margaret (Ginnifer Goodwin) locked up for a murder she didn’t commit, ex-newspaperman Sidney Glass (Giancarlo Esposito) and world class enigma Mr. Gold (Robert Carlyle) working both sides of the aisle, and Regina doing everything in her power to make sure Mary Margaret leaves Storybrooke for good. We can assume the mayor is well aware that a sentence to leave town is as good as death for our dear, dear Snow White.

David (Josh Dallas) has finally realized what an asshole (pardon my French) he’s been and wants to make amends, but Emma (Jennifer Morrison) runs interference, telling him that Mary Margaret doesn’t want to see him. I don’t blame her, but I am glad to see him making some sort of effort at pulling himself together as a person.

In a great connecting scene to last week’s forward motion on the idea of belief, Emma flips through Henry’s (Jared Gilmore) book, reading the story of the Evil Queen. She’s joined by Augustus W. Booth (Eion Bailey), who encourages her to take another look at the evidence, prompting the two of them to traipse back to the crime scene. In the hole where Mary Margaret’s heart-laden jewelry box was found, Emma finds a piece of shovel. She and August find the corresponding evidence in Regina’s garage (with a little help from Henry and those walkie talkies), but when she returns the next day with a search warrant, the evidence is gone. Emma blames August, since he’s the only one who knew – at least until she discovers the bug Sidney Glass planted in her office.

In the meantime, Regina has been to see Mary Margaret, who is, of course, genuinely confused why the mayor hates her so ferociously. Regina admits she knows Mary Margaret is innocent of the murder for which she’s about to go on trial, but maintains that Storybrooke’s ex-favorite school teacher deserves every bad thing that’s about to happen to her. Regina also tells Emma that Mary Margaret will “never ruin anyone’s life ever again.” Mr. Gold is still promising Regina that he’s on her side, still feeding Emma platitudes about the war not being lost just yet, and honestly it’s anyone’s guess what his endgame really is at this point.

The tale ends badly in Fairytale Land, I’m afraid. Regina’s mother is a terrible person, and when she senses her daughter isn’t happy about the impending royal nuptials, she asks little Snow if she knows anything. Regina told Snow all about true love, about her and Daniel, and made her promise not to tell a soul. But she’s just a little girl who lost her mother, no match for Cora, who is a master at the art of deception and trickery. She plucks the little girl’s emotions like a banjo, until all Snow wants is to save Regina from her sorry fate – a world in which she could no longer have her mother. When Cora tells Snow that she wants what’s best for her daughter, that she only wants her to be happy, Snow breaks down and tells her that she should let Regina marry Daniel, then, because they’re in love.

Obviously Cora did not scrimp and save and scheme and generally sell her soul to the devil so that her daughter could marry a stable boy. In an intense, horrible, climactic scene, Cora rips out Daniel’s heart and crushes it, leaving Regina a shell of the happy, hopeful girl who believed in true love. Instead she’s a woman who hates, who believes in nothing, who craves nothing but revenge on the child who ruined her life.

The writer’s turn out an origin story for Regina that’s all but flawless. Yes, it’s terribly sad, but it tells us more than one piece of imperative information. We learn not only what it is that Snow White did to earn herself an evil stepmother and an enemy for life, but we see that evil is indeed not born, but made. We get the opportunity to see Regina as a beautiful young woman, brimming with positivity and full of hope for the future, and we are smacked in the face at the turn of events that transformed her into the woman she is today. But she had a choice, as we all do, when faced with circumstances that do not turn out as we planned. As horrible as what happened to her one true love is, Regina is still the one who condems a child for her misfortune, instead of placing the blame on her mother, which is where is belongs.

So even as we understand Regina, she is still the Evil Queen. Snow White is still the good, the innocent, and all is right with the world.

For Your Consideration: Could August W. Booth be Rumplestilskin’s son Baelfire (Dylan Schmid)? Maybe?

Also Worth a Second of Thought: Kathryn (Anastasia Griffith) returned at the end of this episode, dirty and looking confused but very much alive. We can assume that she’s now (or perhaps always has been) in a similar situation to the Huntsman, who lived even though Regina held his heart captive. Kathryn’s alive, a fact which will surely put a kink in the prosecution of Mary Margaret, but what will being presented with a living (heartless) person do for Emma’s growing belief in magic and fairytales? What will it mean to the rest of Storybrooke? Also, where the heck has Kathryn been all this time?

Also: I would be remiss in not mentioning what a fantastic job young Bailee Madison did in this episode. Not only does she look the part, but her mannerisms, inflection, and delivery came off as pleasingly similar to Ginnifer Goodwin’s. Even those wonderful nuances aside, Miss Madison did an amazing job slipping into the skin of a young girl that would become the legendary Snow White.

Season 1, Episode 18 “The Stable Boy” (originally aired April 1, 2012)

Once Upon A Time airs Sunday nights at 8/7c on ABC

Images courtesy of Jack Rowand and ABC.

Tonight’s Once Upon A Time introduced a fantastic new character with fascinating and eye-popping backstory in Fairytale Land, in addition to delivering some emotional punches from our established players in Storybrooke.

Some people might try to tell you that this episode advanced nothing. Tell those people to take another look, because stories are not advanced by plot alone. Last night both Emma (Jennifer Morrison) and Mary Margaret (Ginnifer Goodwin) took small but necessary steps in moving their characters forward, ever closer to the people they will need to become in order to defeat Regina (Lana Parrilla) and return the fairytale characters to the lives they are meant to lead.

Mary Margaret escaped from jail at the end of last week’s episode after hiring Rumplestilskin as her attorney and subsequently finding a key to her cell tucked beneath her pillow. If you were thinking those two things might be connected….you’d be correct. But Mary Margaret doesn’t know that, she only knows that no one, not even her beloved David, believes in her innocence. She runs, and Emma takes off in pursuit with Henry’s warning ringing in her ears: no one gets out of Storybrooke alive.

Instead of finding Mary Margaret, Emma finds a strange man named Jefferson (Sebastian Stan) when she nearly mows him down with her car. Feeling badly about his resulting limp, she offers to drive him home and helps him inside. He brings her tea, and a couple of sips later, Emma passes out on the couch.

In Fairytale land, a man plays hide and seek in the woods with his daughter, Grace (Ali Skovbye). He’s interrupted by the arrival of the Evil Queen (or you know, just the Queen at the time), and it’s clear from the ensuing discussion that the two of them have had previous dealings. The (Evil) Queen wants another favor but the man refuses, saying the only thing he cares about is being there for his young daughter. There’s a reference to his work for the (Evil) Queen being the reason for his wife’s death, but we’re left to speculate on that point for the time being.

He changes his mind about doing this “one last job” (never a good sign in stories, the one last job. It almost always turns out to be the one last job because the person is dead or imprisoned afterward) after not being able to afford a toy his daughter fancies at the market, and brings a case to the (Evil) Queen.

What does he pull out? A hat. A black top hat that spins until they jump inside, emerging in a room full of mirrors – also known as a looking glass, yes? – and pick the one that leads to Wonderland.

Yes, folks, we have a Mad Hatter in Storybrooke.

In Wonderland, a place that the Hatter hates (fantastic tidbit), they sneak into the Queen of Hearts’ lands to retrieve a mysterious object she stole from the (Evil) Queen. It turns out to be the Regina’s father, which complicates the situation because only the same number that went into the looking glass can go back through. They came in as two, but now they are three. Since Regina’s involved, I’m sure I don’t have to tell you that she and her father are the ones who get to go home, leaving the Hatter to face the Queen of Hearts wrath in Wonderland.

There are some genuinely imaginative, breathtaking moments that follow, and I’m not going to spoil them for you. The Queen of Hearts famous command of “off with his head” produces a rather shocking and unexpected result, and we learn what made our rather average Hatter go mad in the first place – the loss of his life and his young daughter.

The Hatter in Storybrooke (or Jefferson, as he prefers to be called), is one of the only people who remembers the life that has been ripped from him. The knowledge, the struggle to conflate two realities, but most of all having to watch his daughter being raised by strangers, has driven him quite mad indeed. While the other characters are cursed with forgetting, he is instead cursed with remembering it all.

Jefferson’s kidnapped Mary Margaret, and he promises Emma the only way either of them are getting out of his house alive is if she uses her special powers to make his hat work again so that he and his daughter can go home.

There is some serious magic  woven into the scene between Jefferson and Emma, in which he tells her that the stories in Henry’s book are real, that the curse exists, and that she’s the one who has to bring magic back into this world. Something sparks in Emma’s eyes as she tells him maybe it’s time she starts believing, that she wants it to be real that Mary Margaret is her mother, but as relief floods his face and he goes to get the hat, Emma whacks him on the head and calls him a nutcase.

The thing is, I don’t believe her. The look in her eyes, the desperate desire in her voice – she does want to believe in magic, in the fairytales. Her finding a place where that belief is possible is going to be a huge turning point in the series, and that’s what I mean about plot not being the only element to bring about change. This shift in Emma’s character is essential, and Jennifer Morrison, Sebastian Stan, and the writers of the show nailed the smallest of moments and turned it into something huge.

The payoff comes later, after Mary Margaret kicks Jefferson through a glass (clever!) window and he disappears. In the driveway, as Emma and Mary Margaret have that awkward “oh you have to take me back to jail” moment, Emma gives Mary Margaret the option. She can run, but Emma wants her to stay. Mary Margaret believed in her when no one else did, and she wants the favor returned now, because they’re family. She corrects herself quickly, changing the word to friends, but it’s there. And it’s enough to make us wonder if the Hatter’s convincing, passionate certainty that there are many worlds out there, and that fairytales are created from real life, has managed to plant that necessary seed of belief in Emma’s mind.

There’s further proof that this might be the case when Emma and Henry (Jared Gilmore) talk outside his school and the Hatter’s daughter walks by. Emma asks to see the book, then quickly discovers the story about the Hatter and that he did indeed have a young daughter. She asks to keep the book, and I get the feeling she’s going to be reading it a bit closer from now on.

Mary Margaret is back in jail, surprising Regina, who is obviously expecting to find her gone. Mr. Gold (Robert Carlyle) is there too, and we learn that while he might be Mary Margaret’s lawyer, and he may be “invested in her future,” that doesn’t mean he’s not playing both sides. All sides? At any rate, he struck some kind of bargain with Regina to help put Mary Margaret in jail. Which when it comes to him, doesn’t mean he won’t find a way to do exactly the opposite.

It looks like we’re headed toward a season finale in which we finally learn the reason that the Evil Queen harbors so much hatred for our sweet young Snow White, which is a question that’s been haunting me since the series pilot. I’m excited to see how this all plays out, but in the mean time, if there were another ten episodes as good as tonight’s I would gobble up every single one without complaint.

The character of the Hatter is everything we’ve come to expect when the writers give us new or reimagined origin stories. We learned who he was, how he fell into trouble with Regina, what happened to make him the Mad Hatter of Wonderland, the one we know and love. After one hour he’s a fully formed character full of grief and instantly believable motivations, but also one who maintains a bit of mystery.

What we don’t know is what happened to his wife, if he ever makes it back to Grace in Fairytale Land…or the true identity of the red veiled Queen of Hearts.

Any guesses out there on what exactly the Evil Queen thinks Snow White deserves to pay for? Will David (Josh Dallas) come around and be there for Mary Margaret, or will he remember more about their true selves?

What kind of impact will Emma’s fledgling belief in magic and fairytales and curses have on her life and her quest in Storybrooke?

So many questions. Which is exactly how it should be.

Season 1, Episode 17 “Hat Trick” (originally aired March 25, 2012)

Once Upon A Time airs Sunday nights at 8/7c on ABC

Images courtesy of Jack Rowand and ABC.

This week’s episode, Heart of Darkness, served to reinforce this viewer’s feelings on two subjects: that I adore Prince Charming (aka James), and that David (Josh Dallas) is fast becoming a man I’d tell my friend Mary Margaret (Ginnifer Goodwin) to avoid like the plague. The show is still too new for me to give over my trust completely, but for all of its heartbreaking potential, I hope the writing staff knows what they’re doing.

Disclaimer: Yes, I’m aware that in the real world, people make mistakes. They say things they regret. Life does not always work out the way we plan.

That said, the whole concept of Once Upon A Time rests on the idea that some things are meant to be. Some people are meant to be together, and no curse, no evil queen, can keep them apart. For the most part, the Fairytale Lane characters and their Storybrooke counterparts have been similar enough to reinforce this idea. Prince Charming aka David doesn’t fit in with the rest of them. He’s a constructed completely different in FairytaleLand.

He’s also the only character – so far – to struggle with believing this reality is true and accurate, and the only one to have glimpses into a different past. I don’t know what that means. I hope it’s intentional, and that at some point we’ll be treated to a wonderfully clever bit of mythology that explains what makes him so different – one that will make me understand and forgive his spineless behavior over the past couple of weeks.

Heart of Darkness revealed more pieces of Prince Charming and Snow White’s fairytale puzzle. Snow is acting strange ever since she drank Rumplestilskin’s potion, which allowed her to forget Prince Charming and the love they shared, along with the pain of losing him. She’s mean, hateful, and rude to her dwarves. One of my favorite bits of the episode is the scene where she tries to smack a bluebird with a broom instead of singing with it.

Grumpy (Lee Arenberg), along with the others, encourages her to get help to reverse the effects of the spell, but Snow wants no part in it. Instead she’s determined to kill the Evil Queen (Lana Parrilla) and extract revenge for her losses that way.  Rumplestilskin (Robert Carlyle) is all too willing to help, but only with killing the Queen. Love is the only potion that can’t be bottled, he tells her, and true love’s kiss is the only way to reverse her memory loss and bring her back to the loving woman she once was. What he does give her is a bow, some arrows, and a map pointing to the perfect place to assassinate the Queen.

When Prince Charming arrives, Rumplestilskin offers to tell him where he can find Snow in exchange for the Prince’s cloak. After Charming leaves, our resident dealmaker plucks a hair from his prize, and puts it into a vial with the one he took from Snow White several episodes earlier. The strands of hair intertwine and begin to glow – Rumplestilskin has his bottled love.

When Charming finds Snow he kisses her, but it obviously doesn’t work like it’s supposed to, since she punches him and ties him to a tree instead of falling into his arms. The problem is, of course, that she doesn’t love him, not anymore. Jiminy Cricket (Raphael Sbarge) arrives and frees the Prince, who promptly finds Snow and jumps in front of the arrow meant for the Queen. Something about his willingness to die for her makes Snow reconsider whether or not forgetting him is the right thing to do, and she kisses him again. This time it works, and she remembers their love and that it’s worth fighting for. Unfortunately, King George’s men fall upon them in that moment and take Charming away. Snow calls after him, “I’ll always find you.”

In Storybrooke, things are quite different. Emma (Jennifer Morrison) finds more and more evidence that points to Mary Margaret, and when the DNA confirms the heart belongs to Kathryn, she has no choice but to proceed with the arrest. Mary Margaret hires Mr. Gold as her attorney, which may or may not be the smartest decision, and when she tells him she can’t pay, he says he’s going to help anyway. When she asks why, he responds (exactly as he did in FairytaleLand) that he’s invested in her future.

I am starting to suspect that though Mr. Gold/Rumplestilskin has ulterior motives, that they’re not what we guess. He may turn out to be the unlikely hero of this piece.

While Emma and Henry (Jared Gilmore) work to prove that Regina is somehow behind the whole thing and framing Mary Margaret, David goes to Dr. Hopper to try to recover his memories. What he remembers isn’t what happened to Kathryn, though, but his conversation (as Prince Charming) with Snow White about killing the Queen. Since he’s a jackass who apparently doesn’t realize that the “Mary Margaret” in his memory has long hair, and is wearing a cloak as they stand in huge snow drifts – none of which is true in Storybrooke – he goes to the jail and asks her if she killed Kathryn. Mary Margaret is rightfully indignant, reminding David that when all of the evidence pointed his way she stood by him, because she knew in her heart he could never be capable of such evil.

Evil is, we’re reminded several times over the course of the evening, not born, but made.

The night ends with Mary Margaret escaped from jail, and Emma asking Mr. Gold for his help in defeatingRegina.

Other interesting facts:

-          Henry and Emma learn thatRegina’s keys fit every lock in town, making it possible that she broke in and framed Mary Margaret

-          The Stranger (Eion Bailey) talks to Henry in Granny’s, letting us know for the first time that he is not only aware of Henry’s book, but believes what it says. He also reveals that he’s in town to help Emma believe it too.

Like I said at the beginning, I want to know what makes David/Prince Charming the only character who is vastly, fundamentally different in Storybrooke. In Fairytale Land, even the fact that Snow was mean, and hateful, and bent on murder couldn’t stop him from standing at her side. In Storybrooke, he is as spineless as a jellyfish, like a leaf tossed on winds that change with every new day. He stands for nothing, believes in nothing, has faith in nothing – least of all himself.

It’s going to be interesting to watch the remainder of the story play out over the next couple of weeks. Will Mary Margaret change in the face of the false accusations, with the knowledge that no one believes in her innocence? Will she list toward evil, the way Snow White did when she lost the power of her and Charming’s true love?

More importantly, if she does, will David find his courage, his faith, and be there to save her from herself?

Season 1, Episode 16 “Heart of Darkness” (originally aired March 18, 2012)

Once Upon A Time airs Sunday nights at 8/7c on ABC

Images courtesy of Jack Rowand and ABC.

Last week’s episode of Grey’s Anatomy was heart wrenching.  It also illustrated why most couples don’t work together and why professional and personal lives should be kept separate.  Meredith (Ellen Pompeo) has been trying to narrow her area of concentration while preparing for her Boards.  Derek (Patrick Dempsey) wants her to return to neurology, and she considers it.  He and Lexie have been working with a 27 year-old patient, a bubbly recent law school graduate with a promising future.  She has a cyst in her brain that has been causing dizziness and seizures, and Derek and Lexie can easily remove it.  It seems like a relatively minor procedure, as far as brain surgeries go.  The patient also has a brain tumor, but it’s benign and Derek wants to leave it alone.  If it causes a problem later, they’ll deal with it at that time.

Derek, Lexie, and Meredith perform the surgery, but Derek is called away to help with another patient.  He leaves Meredith in charge, and she does an excellent job until they see the tumor.  They have already successfully drained the cyst, but the tumor is right there.  Even though they said they’d leave it, neither Lexie nor Meredith sees the big deal in removing it now.  They try to page Derek, but he was pulled in to help Alex’s intern’s premature baby.  Using their best judgment, they remove the tumor.  When Derek finds out, he’s livid.  He tells Meredith that they won’t know if the surgery was successful until the patient wakes up.  When the patient regains consciousness, her parents are there.  She recognizes them and smiles, but when she goes to speak she cannot articulate any words.  A lawyer who cannot speak has no career.  I mean I’m sure there are some deaf attorneys out there, but you get my point.  It’s heart breaking!! Lexie and Meredith really screwed the pooch.  They should have left the tumor alone, because it was benign.  That was NOT the reason they were going in there.  Meredith and Derek learn the hard way that they should not work together.  It takes a toll on their professional interaction and their marriage.

While Meredith has a professional setback, Cristina (Sandra Oh) suffers a personal one.  She thinks Owen (Kevin McKidd) is cheating on her with Emily, one of the nurses.  She’s wrong, and she’s projecting her own insecurities on to him.  Granted, some of his behavior is suspicious, but he’s avoiding Cristina because he’s unhappy at home, not because he’s cheating.  Cristina and Emily clash at work over a patient who is reluctant to disconnect his husband from life support.  Emily has built a rapport with the patient’s husband and is more sensitive.  Cristina wants to just pull the plug.  Once again, the personal and professional worlds collide, with bad results.  Eventually Cristina confronts Emily and realizes that nothing is going on.  She tells Owen what happened and he says that while he did not cheat on her with Emily, he did cheat on her!!

Owen and Cristina aren’t the only ones facing infidelity.  Jackson’ mom returns to Seattle Grace, and she has a thing for Richard Webber (James Pickens Jr.)  It’s understandable.  They are around the same age and are similarly accomplished.  Richard has been caring for Adele, so when the senior Avery invites him to a black tie event, he thinks it would be a nice change of pace.  But after Bailey warns him not to let things get muddied, he realizes he doesn’t trust himself around her and backs out.  This was a great episode that left many teasers.  I can’t wait for next week!

Season 8, Episode 16, “One Step Too Far” (original air date March 15, 2012).

Grey’s Anatomy airs Thursdays at 8/7c on ABC.

Images courtesy of Vivian Zink and ABC.

The finale that reality show junkies and People magazine readers everywhere had been waiting for finally concluded and the results were unbelievable. Ben Flajnik was down to just two women who he felt could potentially become his wife forever and he spent the duration of the two hour finale of The Bachelor reiterating his feelings about what a hard decision this was going to be over and over again. I’d say a good hour total of the show was Ben making the same stupid statements he’s been making since day one about how he can see himself starting a life with each girl or how he’s so happy to be there. Seriously, if this wasn’t the finale I don’t think I could have taken much more of it.

Anyhow, Ben’s family’s approval meant everything to him so his mother and sister joined him back in Switzerland to get to know his girls one on one. After what happened to Ben on his last Bachelor/Bachelorette experience, the fear of rejection or making a mistake was huge so the family was there to back him up. His sister seemed as if she’d be the voice of reason that he needed with her blunt demeanor and right off the bat she had concerns about Courtney. She even scoffed at the idea that her future sister-in-law could be a model from Los Angeles, something quite different than Ben was used to bringing home, I suppose. Meeting with Lindzi first, the family felt at ease and had nothing but great things to say about the country girl. They loved her warm and easy personality so it was going to be hard for Courtney to top that, right? Well, when it was Courtney’s turn to butter up the family, she pulled out all the stops and, surprisingly, won the approval of Ben’s extremely critical sister. So much that she even felt Courtney might be the whole package that Ben was looking for.

Ben had one last date with each of the women left and this was possibly his final chance to really get to know them. Lindzi’s date was first and the pair spent the day picnicking and skiing in the Swiss Alps before settling down to discuss the important matters at hand. Ben has always had an attraction to Lindzi but always expressed concerns about her unwillingness to open up to him completely. Maybe she really did have a wall up or maybe he was asking for too much, who’s to really say? Either way, she was open to criticism and tried her hardest to make herself more emotionally available to Ben and even concluded their night by telling him that she was in love with him. How anyone could not want to slip an engagement ring on this girl is beyond me!

The next day, it was all about Courtney and Ben. Like so many predictable past Ben Flajnik dates, the day started off with a helicopter ride around the mountains followed by a drop off in a remote location for a lunch time picnic. The two partook in some sledding and Ben went on and on about how comfortable he was with her while she continued to use annoying baby talk in an attempt to be cute all day. At this point, it was about an hour straight of Ben yacking away between dates at what an impossible decision this was going to be and how much he could see himself with both of these girls. I realize I keep saying this but I just can’t seem to stress enough how much of the episode was pure filler. If you were lucky enough to DVR it at home, take advantage of your fast forward button, please, and save yourself the urge to want to head-butt the nearest wall.

It wasn’t over yet, though. That evening, Courtney presented Ben with a scrapbook of photos from all of their previous dates, accompanied by a love note. A grand gesture, indeed, but he still had some thinking to do over Courtney’s past behavior and by the end of the night, things seemed slightly awkward.

The big decision day finally arrived soon after and Ben was asked once again for the laundry list of pros and cons for each of the ladies. This went on and on for some time while we watched a montage of the girls getting dolled up ever so elegantly like two fairytale princesses waiting anxiously for their prince. Despite what a hard time Ben claimed to be having, he had made a decision and felt extremely confident. The girls were to meet him by helicopter, one at a time, in selected mountain location and receive the final news. One girl was in for some major disappointment while another was about to begin a whole new chapter in her life.

Lindzi was the first to be dropped off and the anticipation was surely killing her. They chatted about the good times and what an awesome person she is (and really she is!) until the ominous word “but” surfaced and the smile fell from her face. Ben stated he wanted the good moments they shared to last well into the future and he just didn’t see it happening, primarily because he was in love with someone else. Shock was the feeling I think Lindzi and a lot of the world felt at that moment. Lindzi stayed strong, though, and didn’t even shed a tear until she was at the very least out of Ben’s sight. She felt sorry for not being able to give Ben what he wanted but she has no need to apologize. At the end of the day, she is who she is.

So, Courtney was the only one left. When she met him on the mountain, they reminisced about the great dates and “incredible moments” they shared with each other. He concluded the speech by saying that he had promised himself he wouldn’t get down on one knee again unless it was forever and somehow came to the conclusion that Courtney was his one and only. The proposal went down, fancy ring and all, and as she joyfully accepted, if you listened closely, you could hear the shrieks of horror from all of season sixteen’s past contestants ringing through the mountainside.

What an interesting season of The Bachelor. Characters like Courtney come along on almost every reality show and we love to watch them, and especially love to hate them. Week after week, they surprise us when they make it through each elimination round but, eventually they receive their comeuppance. This was not the case at all this year and, for the first time, the so called “villain” prevailed. All we can hope for is that she truly is the person she claims to be and that the promise to love each other forever is genuine. Then again, how long is forever in TV time?

Season 16, Episode 11: Season Finale (originally aired March 12, 2012)

Watch The Bachelor Mondays 8/7 Central on ABC.

Image courtesy of  ABC.

The Man in the Iron Mask is one of my favorite movies. In it, Aramis tells Philippe that “the greatest mystery of life is who we truly are.”

After a couple lackluster episodes, writer Jane Espenson tackled that very question in Sunday night’s Once Upon A Time. She gave us a thrilling twist on the tale of Red Riding Hood and shocked us with more than one mystery in Storybrooke, all while infusing the night’s happenings with heart, honesty, and a stronger connection between our characters.

All of this in addition to the fact that I often let go unsaid, which is that this show is gorgeously shot and lushly constructed. It looks better than almost any other on television.

Ruby (Meghan Ory) feels trapped by her life in Storybrooke. Granny (Beverley Elliott) is always on her back, criticizing her clothes, her flirtatious attitude, and her general lack of interest in growing up. When she embarrasses Ruby in front of the Stranger (Eion Bailey), Ruby has had enough. The Stranger’s tales of far off places and adventures have convinced Ruby to not only leave Granny’s, but Storybrooke all together. After Kathryn, I’m thinking not only is it impossible to leave Storybrooke, it’s deadly to even try.

Ruby doesn’t have a clue where she’s going or what she wants to do, but she knows it’s about time she figures it out.

In FairytaleLand, the Big Bad Wolf is on a rampage, slaughtering hunting parties and forcing women and children to hide behind barred windows and doors during Wolfstime. Red struggles with her captivity, dreaming of bigger things and a life with the blacksmith’s boy, Peter. Granny insists she never leave the cottage after dark, and never, ever go anywhere without her red cloak during the full moon.

While gathering eggs in the barn, Red stumbles upon pre-princess Snow White (Ginnifer Goodwin), who took  refuge the night before when the wolf drew near. Red takes pity on the Snow, who is clearly a little bit lost, and invites her to stay. The two of them attend a town hall meeting, where we learn that Granny’s six brothers and father were murdered by a similar wolf years before, and that the wolf spared Granny’s life.

As frightening as Granny’s tale is, the fact remains that Red loves Peter and wants to be with him. Like many a young girl in love, Red concocts a plan to get free from Granny’s rules without considering the possible consequences. She’s going to kill that wolf herself, with Snow’s reluctant help. They find the wolf tracks in the snowy woods, but the girls are stunned to see them gradually change into human boot prints. They put two and two together, figuring out that Wolfstime happens once a month, on the full moon, and that the wolf must also be a human…whose prints lead directly to Red’s window.

Meanwhile, Emma (Jennifer Morrison) and Henry (Jared Gilmore) give a lost and defeated Ruby a job answering phones at the sheriff’s station. David (Josh Dallas) remains a suspect in Kathryn’s disappearance, thanks to Regina (Lana Parrilla), but Emma is still convinced he’s innocent. Later, Emma runs into Mary Margaret and expresses concern over how the town will react to this latest news, which sends Mary Margaret into the woods to search for clues to Kathryn’s whereabouts. She stumbles upon David, who doesn’t seem to hear or recognize her, then wanders back into the woods alone.

Ruby and Emma find him later, unconscious with a gash on his head. The doctor diagnoses David with a state of confusion similar to the one David experienced right after coming out of his coma, which we know resulted from his missing memory, and the feeling that he was not David, but someone else (Prince Charming). Now, it appears he’s blacking out and losing huge swaths of time, leading him, and maybe Emma, to believe that he could have had something to do with the mystery surround Kathyrn and not remember it. Acting on this suspicion, Emma sends Ruby back into the woods to search the bridge David seems drawn to, and she discovers a box laden with a human heart. What’s worse, there are fingerprints on the box, but they’re not David’s…they’re Mary Margaret’s.

In FairytaleLand, Red confronts her beau, Peter, with the suspicion that he is the wolf. In order to save him any more pain, and spare the lives of the hunters, he agrees to allow her to chain him to a tree during the full moon. When Granny discovers Snow in bed instead of Red, she tells Snow the truth – Red is the wolf. She never revealed the truth in order to shelter the girl from pain, but instead her coddling leads to Peter’s death. Red knows what she is now, and about her family legacy, but it’s cost her the one she loves.

Mysteries swirl through Storybrooke like pollen on the spring wind. Who is this Stranger, why can he come and go, and what part will he play in the story of the curse? Is it just the stress of Kathryn’s disappearance and Mary Margaret’s dismissal that’s causing David to waver between realities, or is it something more? Whose heart is in the box? We know Regina has an endless supply of those things (and we can pretty safely assume she’s behind everything), but would she kill Kathryn?

Something sweeter, like the scent of lilacs, is also in the air about town. Ruby/Red’s stories center around figuring out who we are and what’s important to us, and how perhaps the things that frighten us are still worth doing. I loved both tales – the sad story of how Granny’s overprotective behavior in Fairytale Land led to Red’s rebellion, and how her willingness to let the girl figure things out on her own in Storybrooke led to Ruby returning home. In both tales, the importance of being allowed the freedom to learn who we are rings loud and true.

People spend a lifetime figuring out who they are. These characters spent years searching, were maybe on the path to discovery and happiness before being ripped out of their lives and shoved into new ones. Is it possible for them to discover who they are, to be truly happy in that knowledge, if what’s reflected in the mirror is only a poor copy of the people they were meant to be?

Or is the whole idea of being ‘meant to be’ a fluid thing, and the endings to those old stories are no longer their endings at all, not ‘meant to be’ any longer, but only ‘might have been?

What do you think?

Season 1, Episode 15 “Red-Handed” (originally aired March 11, 2012)

Once Upon A Time airs Sundays at 8/7c on ABC

Images courtesy of Jack Rowand and ABC

Most people love to watch The Bachelor because, for a lot of viewers, it’s encouraging to think that there may be a Prince, or Princess, Charming waiting out there for all of us, ready to declare their love on national television. For others, though, tuning in solely for the drama is the one and only reason. With the season finale being next week where Ben will finally decide who the love of his life will be, last night’s reunion show gave us one major last hurrah in the drama department. All of season sixteen’s jilted contestants were back to reunite, confront one another, and get answers from the guest of honor, Ben.

The host for the evening was none other than Chris Harrison and he brought along a full arsenal of questions and comments to incite a riot among the already edgy group of ladies. As soon as the first round of video montages and questioning began, the women went nuts. Blakely caught the bulk of the backlash because of her behavior in the first few episodes of the show. She came dangerously close to being what Courtney is today and wasn’t on good terms with most of her fellow housemates. Unlike Courtney, however, most of the girls were able to reconcile with Blakely and everything was water under the bridge, more or less. It was hard to say exactly where the turning point was for the ladies and Blakely since most of the time I couldn’t hear myself think with Samantha’s loud mouth flapping away endlessly. She called everyone out on their issues, even the ones she seemed to know nothing about, and continued to bark away and snarl at everyone. It would have been humane and much more tolerable in the end had Chris just gave in and threw down a chew toy to make her happy.

Shawntel, the former bachelorette who showed up on a whim mid-season to see if she could physically manifest the connection with Ben that was allegedly real in her head, came back for the reunion. She sat with Chris to endure the wrath of the bitter contestants again because, evidently, once was not enough. At least Shawntel got to confront the ladies about the nasty things they said about her in the past and, to a degree, it seemed as though everyone had forgiven one another.

A few of the last standing women got their time in the hot seat with Chris. Emily had the most insight into the Bachelor situation and made some excellent points about Ben. While everyone seemed to agree that no matter what, Ben was still a dreamboat in their eyes, at least Emily was able to understand that in the end they may have not been the best match. When she tried to warn Ben in the early stages of the Courtney debacle, he shut Emily down immediately rather than hearing her concerns and, in her world, her perfect mate would have handled it with a little more tact. Also, he wouldn’t have gone skinny dipping with any of the contestants out of respect for the other women.

Nicki and Kacie B. were two of the biggest Bachelor disappointments this season and by that I mean I was disappointed in Ben’s decision to cut them over Courtney. Kacie had the hardest rejection, however, and flew all the way to Switzerland to find out what she did wrong. Luckily, she understands now that she and Ben were on two different planets when it came to family values and that would have just gotten in the way somewhere down the road.

Just when the live studio audience didn’t think it could get any better, Chris made the announcement that Courtney was there and ready to stand before the angry jury. Courtney couldn’t hear backstage what was being said about her throughout the course of the show but the women had no problem reiterating and breaking it down for her. In fact, her presence only riled the girls up more. When Courtney first joined Chris out on stage, it was eerily quiet but everyone could feel that the proverbial dam was just seconds away from bursting. The women ripped into Courtney over her personal jabs on everyone and the foul way she presented herself to the group. They called her out on her dual personalities and all Courtney could do was apologize. She asked for forgiveness from the girls over and over but no one was willing to buy it. Whether she is genuinely sorry for her immature antics or just trying to save face in the public eye, the damage was done and there is no repairing the relationship with the castmates. At the end of the segment, Courtney started to break down in tears and immediately exited the building as fast as she could to escape the painful karma that she’d had coming.

With the main course over with, the ladies left some room to devour one more person: Ben. This guy had it easy because he was only in the chair with Chris for about three and a half minutes it felt like (perhaps due to the editing process) and the questioning seemed to be limited. “Welcome to my hell,” he mentioned to the host when he first came out. It’s just so hard being Ben! Ben is a huge tool. I’m sorry but, someone had to say it. I’d say about ninety percent of the contestants were level-headed women but when you go around making out with everyone and recycling the same amorous words to each one, you’re bound to make a few girls go crazy.

Next week is the big showdown between Courtney and Lindzi and everyone is hoping that Ben makes the right choice. Lindzi seems like such an easy-going, all-American kind of girl, which is how most of world, I believe, views Ben. But who knows? Maybe he is a little rougher around the edges than he leads on and maybe he needs someone a little more twisted like Courtney. Emily summed it up best earlier during her mini-interview with Chris and stated that in the end, Ben will have made his bed and can lie in it. And I believe he will.

Season 16, Episode 10: The Women Tell All (originally aired March 5, 2012)

Watch The Bachelor Mondays 8/7 Central on ABC.

Image courtesy of  ABC.

This week determined exactly which two girls would be making it to the nail-biting finale of The Bachelor in two weeks where hopefully one will be proposed marriage to and ride off majestically into the sunset with their prince charming, aka, Ben Flajnik. Courtney, Nicki, and Lindzi were off to Switzerland for one last free group getaway to spend time bonding over Swiss cheese and chocolates with the bachelor. As each week brings us closer to the end, Ben has been able to get in more lengthy chats and intimate dates with each of the ladies and this week each girl partook in a one-on-one rendezvous with him. At this stage in the game, “hometowns” were done with so, this week it was all about “overnights”. In case you haven’t figured out where this is going, overnights are quite literally when the bachelor invites each girl (separately, of course) to privately spend the night with him in a location known as “the fantasy suite”. Right off the bat is sounds like they’d be shacking up at a sleazy motel right off the freeway and squeezing into a heart shaped hot tub together but, much to my dismay, the producers at The Bachelor preferred to take the serious approach and put them up in beautiful Swiss ski chalets.

Ben took each of his potential wives out for some adventurous sightseeing with helicopter rides and train excursions through the breathtaking mountains and terrain of the European country. He spent the duration of each outing trying to imagine a life with each girl before sitting down to dinner to discuss their prospects for the future. At the end of the evening, Ben presented the date du jour with an envelope inviting them to spend the night with him and hoped that they’d each accept. And, yes, each of them did.

All of the dates seemed to go smoothly with the exception of Courtney’s which had hit a few bumps halfway through. Ben had still been expressing some concern over her past behaviors involving the other women, as he should, and he finally called her out on the fact that she had been acting like a lunatic. Courtney is now starting to genuinely regret her immature antics because she’s finally realizing that she might lose Ben in the end. Tears aside, I’m still not totally sure where she really stands and Ben had no clue at this point either. After some serious apologizing, however, Ben felt as if they were in a good place. That is until Kacie B. came knocking on his door.

The ousted bachelorette was still reeling with confusion as to why she was eliminated last week and felt that flying all the way to Switzerland to demand an explanation was totally necessary. It did seem a little strange that she was let go but, after the hometown round, he just didn’t see the two of them going any further. You can’t force love so, how he feels is just how he feels, but Kacie didn’t stop there. She couldn’t leave without at least warning him one last and final time about Courtney’s two faces. Ben was feeling as if he had everything figured out in time for the rose ceremony but Kacie’s appearance forced him to reconsider everything.

Minutes before the rose ceremony, Ben stared at the framed photos of the last remaining girls while struggling to make a decision. Lindzi was given the first rose, leaving just one, lonely flower left. Lindzi would make a fabulous wife for Ben from what we’ve seen on television. I’d go as far as to say that she’s my personal pick this season. Nicki and Courtney were left standing and Nicki looked scared. She should have been considering it was either going to be her or everyone’s rival, Courtney, and the unibrowed ice queen has somehow been beating out the competition week after week. The final rose was handed out and yet another week goes by where I’m completely disappointed in Ben. He gave the final rose to Courtney and sent Nicki on her merry way home. Holy crap, I can’t believe this keeps happening! So Lindzi and Courtney are left to duke it out to the bitter end. Next week is the cast reunion where all of the past eliminated bachelorettes get together to discuss the show, Ben, and each other so we’ll have to wait an additional week to see how Ben’s final journey to eternal happiness plays out. At this rate, I’m almost a little scared to find out.

Season 16, Episode 9: Switzerland (originally aired February 27, 2012)

Watch The Bachelor Mondays 8/7 Central on ABC.

Image courtesy of  ABC.

The Academy Awards may be a paparazzo’s dream event, chock full of glitz, glamour and tabloid fodder galore to celebrate the year in Hollywood movies. Beyond the relentless flashbulbs, red carpet and often shallow celebrity worship, however, lies an appreciation for film’s impact as an art form and how the medium speaks to audiences across the globe. The five movies nominated for Best Foreign Language Film this year were honored over the weekend during pre-Oscar festivities in Los Angeles and the directors, actors, producers and writers of these works helped showcase an inspiring aspect of the entertainment industry that often gets buried underneath our society’s obsession with fame.

After a brief press junket outside the Kodak Theater on Friday, the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences hosted a more formal symposium at the Samuel Goldwyn Theater in Beverly Hills on Saturday where reporters and Academy members alike were treated to clips of all five nominated films and a panel discussion with each movie’s director. Oscar-winning and Emmy-nominated producer Mark Johnson (Rain Man, Breaking Bad) moderated the event and allowed ample time for each auteur to explain the process, torture and joy of having their respective visions come to life.

For Michael Roskam, director of Belgium’s Bullhead, his desire to tell the story of organized crime within the cattle farming industry derived from both a passion for the specific, unique narrative and the aesthetic influence of his favorite film genres, particularly noir. Citing both the Coen brothers and Michael Mann as professional inspirations, Roskam stated that proper noir films “need two things: a great crime scene, and a real tragedy.” The film focuses on the journey of central character Jacky, played by Matthias Schoenaerts, as he descends into unraveling darkness in the face of a shady business deal and a painful past. Schoenarts gained 60 pounds of muscle to play the steroid-ridden role believably, and discussed how the physical dedication helped him prepare for the emotional upheaval of the part.

“The preparation of course had a huge influence on my spirit and I could feel what it was doing to me and feel things happening,” Schoenaerts began. “You cultivate [those feelings] and push them in a certain direction in order to get closer to the universe of your character … The physical state of being has such an enormous impact on how you think and how you feel.”

When asked about his reaction to the Oscar attention for his first feature-length film, Roskam explained with a simple metaphor most people can relate to. “I like sports analogies, so it’s like going to the world championship of cinema,” he began. “And when you win the Oscar, you get the rainbow jersey [smiles]. That’s how it feels.”

While Roskam is the only director enjoying this level of success for his maiden film, most of his colleagues are also Oscar neophytes despite having more experience in the industry. Poland’s Agnieszka Holland, however, has had a storied career that includes a Best Screenplay nod in 1990 for Europa Europa and now her film In Darkness is up for Best Foreign Language Film. The Holocaust tale centers on Leopold Socha, a sewer worker who moonlights as a petty thief during WWII and discovers a Jewish family living underground. He hides their secret from his boss and wife, and the experience ignites an important transformation from his formerly self-serving instincts to those of compassion. Holland discussed how the film’s signature tone, focusing on the claustrophobic, sightless stretches of the Polish sewer system and the voices hiding within, actually helps illustrate her objective to keep the story revolved around the characters instead of their circumstances. According to Holland, the surroundings speak for themselves.

“It was about the people, and not the mechanics of the war,” she explained, adding that she and her team were “crying for authenticity” while analyzing the script and its source material, a book by Robert Marshall. Interestingly, the screenplay for In Darkness was initially written in English and then re-translated back to Polish, a notion Holland said she thinks certainly doesn’t happen often, if ever before.

Compelling Holocaust dramas, particularly ones that focus on the individuals and not the minutiae of the horrific events, often do well at the Oscars. Holland’s tale of redemption and survival in the face of one of history’s most significant genocides will likely stake its claim among prestigious company regardless of the outcome on Oscar Sunday.

Two more of the Best Foreign Film nominees, Iranian frontrunner A Separation and Israel’s Footnote, pare down the heavy historical background, despite modern political tensions in both countries, and instead zoom in on the relationships between each movie’s central two characters. In Footnote, a father and son grapple with a growing tension as they both vie for adulation within their similar careers as Talmudic researchers. When the father, Eliezer (Shlomo Bar-Aba), is up for Israel’s highest academic honor, the competitive nature between the two men reaches a high and their interpersonal dynamic begins to suffer in ways far deeper than ever before. Director and writer Joseph Cedar derived the story’s core much from his own relationship with his father, biochemist and Israel Prize winner Howard Cedar, and the pressure to live up to high expectations.

In A Separation, a husband and wife clash over plans to flee Iran and build a better life for their daughter and themselves when another family member’s illness becomes an overwhelming cause for concern. Simin (Leila Hatami) is adamant she and Nader (Peyman Moadi) make good on their initial intentions to raise their daughter outside Iran’s oppressive environment, but with only 40 days left on their visa and Nader’s father suffering from intensifying Alzheimer’s, the couple faces both a difficult decision and deeply conflicting ideas about the proper solution. In the clip shown to reporters on Saturday, Simin and Nader approach a judge about their divorce options and are told summarily to take care of their “small problem.” A Separation director Asghar Farhadi explained how the focus on this marriage within the larger framework of a troubled Iranian society helps convey his idea that even the smallest of problems often provide the biggest amount of trouble.

“I believe larger problems can be solved easier than big problems,” Farhadi began. “The problem with small problems is that you often can’t see them,” he continued, adding that larger issues in one’s life, and often in a couple’s, are more “identifiable” as thus mended more quickly. Instead of involving the grand scheme of Iran’s national troubles into the thematic framework, Farhadi chose to put Simin and Nader up front and let their environment serve as a supplemental backdrop to their personal strife, allowing the narrative to transcend cultural boundaries and speak on a universal level. Judging from the overwhelming response to A Separation and Farhadi’s story, the message has been received loud and clear, particularly by the Academy.

The final film up for a coveted statuette is Canada’s Monsieur Lazhar, a classroom drama based upon a play by Evelyne de la Cheneliere. The stage production is decidedly sparse, spanning one act and involving a solitary actor who plays the title character. Lazhar (Mohamed Fellag) is an Algerian immigrant who replaces a beloved schoolteacher after she unexpectedly and tragically commits suicide. His interaction with the students and observation of their confusion, shock and grief in light of the awful circumstances helps shed a light on his own inner turmoil, and the film captures the duality of the resulting healing process. Cheneliere said she had no problem authorizing director Philippe Falardeau with the rights to her play, saying, “I knew his work, so I knew my work was in good hands because he’s very delicate. I think this story really needed a very subtle way to show it and to tell it, [without] becoming too sentimental.”

Expanding the student-free play to include a classroom full of onscreen children sounds like a situation ripe for schmaltz, but Falardeau assured that his method of approaching the material from an unusual perspective helped keep the film’s primary goals in mind.

“Usually, we adjust children to the adult world” when it comes to making movies, Falardeau said. With Monsieur Lazhar, however, he admitted he “had to adjust to the children’s world.” This proved no simple feat, considering the idea that the movie’s ultimate tone and narrative had to ideally follow a decidedly adult progression.

“One of the tricky parts for us was making sure it was positioned as an adult film, because there’s a lot of children present but it’s not a movie for kids,” producer Luc Dery affirmed. “There’s mature themes and that’s the audience we were making the film for, adults.”

Despite the presence and involvement of children within the grim subject matter and thematic explorations, Monsieur Lazhar ultimately succeeds because of the recognition of one important fact that can also serve as a possible reason why all five of the Best Foreign Language Film nominees were able to garner international acclaim.

“Everybody has been a child and a student,” Cheneliere declared. With more thought provoking foreign films entering the scope of Academy-recognized repertoire year by year, it looks as though audiences will only continue to learn from other cinematic cultures.

What foreign films spoke to you this year?

Don’t miss the Oscars Sunday, February 26^th at 7 p.m. EST on ABC

Images courtesy of Erin Biglow for Poptimal

	Hollywood gears up for the Oscars Hollywood gears up for the Oscars	Canada's "Monsieur Lazhar," Best Foreign Language film nominee Canada's "Monsieur Lazhar," Best Foreign Language film nominee
Michael Roskam Michael Roskam	"Bullhead" director Michael Roskam (l) and star Matthias Schoenaerts "Bullhead" director Michael Roskam (l) and star Matthias Schoenaerts	Michael Roskam, director of Belgian Oscar nominee "Bullhead" Michael Roskam, director of Belgian Oscar nominee "Bullhead"
Producers Kim McCraw (r) and Luc Dery of Canada's "Monsieur Lazhar" Producers Kim McCraw (r) and Luc Dery of Canada's "Monsieur Lazhar"	Luc Dery (l) and Kim McCraw discuss "Monsieur Lazhar" Luc Dery (l) and Kim McCraw discuss "Monsieur Lazhar"	"Bullhead" star Matthais Schoenaerts gained 60 pounds for lead role "Bullhead" star Matthais Schoenaerts gained 60 pounds for lead role
"Bullhead" co-stars Jeroen Perceval (l), Matthias Schoenaerts and Jeanne Dandoy "Bullhead" co-stars Jeroen Perceval (l), Matthias Schoenaerts and Jeanne Dandoy		Shlomo Bar Aba, star of Israeli Best Foreign Language Film nominee "Footnote" Shlomo Bar Aba, star of Israeli Best Foreign Language Film nominee "Footnote"
Playwright Evelyne de la Cheneliere's work was adapted for "Monsieur Lazhar" screenplay Playwright Evelyne de la Cheneliere's work was adapted for "Monsieur Lazhar" screenplay	Foreign Language Film press room Foreign Language Film press room	"Bullhead" costar Jeanne Dandoy "Bullhead" costar Jeanne Dandoy
Agnieszka Holland's film "In Darkness" is Polish Best Foreign Language Film nominee Agnieszka Holland's film "In Darkness" is Polish Best Foreign Language Film nominee	Holocaust drama "In Darkness" hails from Poland Holocaust drama "In Darkness" hails from Poland

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Amanda Vaughn (Leslie Bibb), once the ultimate high school “mean girl,” is forced to return home in disgrace after her marriage ends in scandal. Reluctant but desperate, Amanda has no choice but to turn to her mother, Gigi (Annie Potts), for help. Gigi, the quintessential proper Dallas socialite, wants nothing more than to have Amanda back and to give Amanda’s two teenage kids a good southern upbringing. The problem is that Amanda is nothing like the girl she was 20 years ago and is hesitant about re-entering this world of opulence, status and salacious rumor mills. She is hopeful for a new start, but soon finds it’s not that easy to escape your past in this tightknit community.

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The bachelor and his bachelorettes finally made it to the hometown round this week which is beyond question the roughest phase the group has had to go through yet. Four women were left and each had the opportunity to bring Ben home to meet their families while giving everyone a better idea of what their future could be like if they wind up being the lucky lady picked in the end. Of course, meeting a man with various suitorettes, falling in love, and tying the knot all in a television season’s time raised some obvious concerns with the girls’ families so, part of the hometown round was spent trying to convince their respective clans that the decision to spend the rest of their life with a stranger wasn’t irrational.

Ben’s first stop was to Ocala, Florida to get to know more about Lindzi’s equestrian roots and find out if her family believes she’s even ready for marriage. For a change of pace, Ben wasn’t planning the dates so Lindzi was sure to keep his adventurous appetite satisfied with a crash course in horse and carriage riding (later turned to racing). The last time that Lindzi brought a man home to meet the family he wound up breaking her heart so, the hometown round has been the ultimate test in letting down her guard to Ben. Her family was one of the most welcoming and extremely easy to talk to and, although they, like most parents, don’t want to see their little girl get hurt, they did seem to agree that Lindzi was in a good place when it came to a committed relationship. Her family openly supported what the two have been working towards and, with their charming nature, it was easy to see where Lindzi’s playfulness and kindness both stem from. With one exceptional date down, there were still three left to go.

Kacie B. was next on the list and she spared no expense to give Ben the biggest welcome to her hometown of Clarksville, Tennessee that she could. With a full marching band in tow, Kacie impressed Ben with some more baton twirling skills from her high school days before making a running leap into his arms. The grand entrance just excited the two further to move onward with their future until Kacie broke the news that her father is a federal probation officer and completely skeptical of the whole Bachelor situation. Oh, and he doesn’t touch alcohol so any gifts that Ben the Winemaker might be bringing by could be rejected but, other than that the family would just love him…right? While Kacie’s family certainly was welcoming, they had just as many concerns as was assumed, and then some. Her dad’s anti-risk policies and hardcore traditional values were clearly getting in the way of what Kacie wanted with Ben, to the point where she stated that no matter what, in the end she’d still do as she pleased. What started off as positive day soon took a rocky turn and by the end of the night, Kacie was worried that her family’s firmness could be the end of her and Ben.

Next, Ben was off to Fort Worth, Texas to get to know Nicki’s family. The last time she brought someone home to meet her folks, she married the man so, with that logic, it might seem like a good omen- until you realize that the marriage ended in divorce. So, maybe the first one was just a practice run and a second time’s a charm! The first thing Nicki did to assimilate Ben to Texas life was have him fitted for some cowboy boots and a big ol’ hat to go along with them. Fun and games aside, Nicki talked about how her divorce has made her stronger but that she’s ultimately ready for a new start, hopefully with Ben. Like all the families Ben was coming across, Nicki’s had questions, too. No one wants to see anyone get hurt since in the end many of the girls are inevitably going to, and each family hoped that it wouldn’t be their daughter. Nicki’s father supported her decision to find love with Ben although he seemed to almost blame himself for her previously failed marriage, stating that he may have given away Nicki’s hand too readily the last time. It was a sad moment but very sweet to see how much thought he had put into his daughter’s happiness. With some major reassurance from Nicki’s end, Dad was fully onboard and had given his full blessings to the hypothetical couple.

The last leg of Ben’s hometown tour took him to Scottsdale, Arizona to spend some quality time with Courtney and her family. It seems like more recently that Court had turned over a new leaf, showing her softer, more emotional side and even going as far as to apologize for treating the other girls badly. That’s easy for her to say now that she’s gotten this far but, it does go to show how she behaves under pressure with direct competition and, who knows, that could possibly surface in other day to day situations. Just sayin’, Ben. The family had Ben and her new mate over for some lunch where the usual pleasantries were exchanged, as well as the serious, one on one talks with various family members. Once Courtney convinced the family that Ben was the one for her, she had a very special production set up to finally reveal her love feelings for her bachelor. In a lovely field nearby, a place where Courtney mentioned she could see herself being married, a faux wedding was set up, complete with a minister. Before he knew it, Courtney slapped a bow tie on Ben and shoved a sheet of paper into his hand in which he was to write some impromptu wedding vows to his pretend bride. Ben is so easygoing and didn’t find anything weird about the act at all but, it got creepier and creepier to watch as the “ceremony” went on. At the altar, Courtney spilled her sentiments to Ben and sealed the deal with some fake rings and a kiss. Knowing Courtney, there is a good chance that the two are actually married now.

That was it for the hometown round. First and lasting impressions were made by all and Ben was in for some more tough decision making. Pretty much every town he visited went swimmingly, making the fact that he would have to send one girl home empty handed even worse. Courtney’s unique song and dance of professing her love for him must have made the biggest impact on him this week as she was the first to receive a rose. The looks of disappointment that washed over the other three girls’ faces was instantaneous. Once again, their nemesis had made it through to the next stage and that meant that one of them would for sure be going home. Lindzi was the next to accept a rose and it was finally down to two. Nicki had been flying under the radar compared to the other girls. She didn’t seem to stand out as much as the others and maybe Ben discovered something new about her in Fort Worth because he decided that she was the most worthy to receive the final rose. Poor Kacie B., who seemed to have a special place with Ben, was in disbelief that she had been rejected. I think a lot of people predicted seeing her make it just a little bit further, if not to the end, and she all but fell apart at the news. Every family warned that things could end badly and things are only going to get worse for the women. Two more are destined to be disappointed and soon there will be only one happy girl left for Ben.

Season 16, Episode 8: Hometown (originally aired February 20, 2012)

Watch The Bachelor Mondays 8/7 Central on ABC.

Images courtesy of  Ralph Freso/ABC.

Well it was bound to happen sooner or later. I’d hoped to put it off a bit longer, but maybe its best to get the first episode I really didn’t like out of the way sooner than later. This week’s Once Upon A Time wasn’t terrible, it just felt a bit like getting beaten over the head with a rolling pin, or if you’re a Tangled fan (and who isn’t) getting smacked in the face with a frying pan.

I said last week that the David-Kathryn-Mary Margaret storyline is getting on my nerves, mostly because he’s Prince Freaking Charming and he shouldn’t be cheating on his wife. Yes, we’re in the real world, where things are complicated and happy endings don’t exist, but still. If he knows what he feels for Mary Margaret (Ginnifer Goodwin) is real (and he should, he’s felt it since he first woke up from his coma), then it’s completely stupid and yellow-bellied and awful to continue to be with Kathryn (Anastasia Griffith). Yet that’s what he’s been doing, and what Mary Margaret has been letting him get away with until now.

At the beginning of Sunday’s episode, she tells David (Josh Dallas) she’s had enough and that the only way to minimize the damage and the hurt for everyone involved is to tell Kathryn the truth. Which sounds like the right thing, but best laid plans and all that…they only work if all parties come through. David chickens out at the last minute – which I just don’t get, since he doesn’t have feelings for K – and tells her he can’t connect with her and it would be better for them both if she moved on alone.

Enter Regina (Lana Parrilla), who of course spills the beans about David’s affair, complete with pictures to back up her claims. Kathryn loses her mind, as one does when she finds out her husband not only cheated, but lied about it, and heads to the school to confront Mary Margaret in front of the largest audience possible. The conversation accomplishes two things: Mary Margaret is branded the Storybrooke homewrecking slut, and she knows David lied about telling Kathryn the truth.

In fairytale land, we’re filing in a few holes as far as James (David) and Abigail (Kathryn) are concerned. Quick refresher: she is King Midas’ daughter and betrothed to James, even though he’s in love with Snow White. In this episode James is on the run from the King when he bumps in to Abigail. She claims to want to help him be with his true love, since her own ended in tragedy. She leads him to a knight frozen in gold, her true love Frederick who accidentally touched King Midas while protecting them and paid the price. She has heard legend of a lake, guarded by a monster, in which the water can restore something once lost to anyone who collects it.

The only problem is, no one has ever returned from the lake. James offers to go and get the water for her, with the hope that at least one of them will be happy. He has given up hope of ever being happy again since Snow White left, claiming she could never love him.

At the lake James finds a beautiful siren, who quickly turns into a vision of Snow White. He gives in, enraptured, for a few minutes of kissing but then pushes the siren away. James says that he has known true love, and there is nothing else like it. He doesn’t want the illusion – he’ll have the real thing or nothing. He escapes the siren and returns to Abigail, who unfreezes her true love Frederick. After giving James a lame speech about how true love is hard but worth it in the end, he leaves to find Snow White and win her back.

Instead he finds Red Riding Hood (Meghan Ory) in a scene we’ve witnessed once before, the one where James promises to never give up looking. This time the conversation continues and Red tells James that Snow does love him, that she went to the castle to stop the wedding, and if she didn’t then something changed her mind. James knows it’s not something but someone, and that someone shows up and chases he and Red into the woods.

In the sad, real world where dreams and love are pieces of trash that get mashed into the dirty sidewalk, Mary Margaret tells David they can’t be together. What they have is not real love, because if it was then it wouldn’t be destructive. They’re obviously both shattered by her proclamation, but damn I don’t blame her. He’s being the worst kind of man right now.

I had hoped that after we learned the entire backstory of James and Kathryn that some piece would come to light, a shred of a reason why our David would be so unwilling to let that part of his life go, but there’s nothing. In their fairytale past the two were ships that passed in the night, spoke of true love, but felt it only for other people. That he would be such an incredible wimp about doing the right thing makes me angry and makes me think he’s not good enough for Mary Margaret and I don’t want to feel that way.

In other news, the stranger now has a name. It’s Augustus W(ayne) Booth (Eion Bailey). He has the book of fairytales Henry (Jared Gilmore) lost when his mother razed his playground, and he’s taken it apart, soaked the pages in some kind of restorative? and sewn the entire thing back together. Is he being nice? Did he take pages out and replace them? Change the story? We don’t know. We do know he has some kind of interest in Emma (Jennifer Morrison) and the two spend some time together at a wishing well in the woods. I wish I could tell you what any of this means, but honestly I don’t even have a guess. If anyone else does, I’d be very excited to hear it.

Kathryn decides to accept admission to a law school in Boston after taking a closer look at the pictures Regina gave her of David and Mary Margaret together. The love between them is evident, and it’s real, and Kathryn wants to find that for herself. She even tells Regina that she wrote David and Mary Margaret a letter, urging them to be together.

Which we know won’t do, and Regina sneaks into their house with her massive ring of skeleton keys, steals the letter, and burns it. As far as Kathryn is concerned, we know no one can leave Storybrooke and she’s no exception. Her car runs off the road, and is discovered by none other than our world’s Frederick, but Kathryn has disappeared.

All in all, I found the episode pretty ho-hum in parts, infuriating in others, and a little heavy handed with its message that love – even true love – doesn’t come easily and needs to be fought for every single day. I’ve been pleased and even liberal in my acceptance of the way the writers are interpreting and changing these classic tales, but what they’ve done to Prince Charming is sticking in my craw, mostly because they’re not giving him a good reason to act this way.

Next week is the Oscars, so it will be two weeks before we return to Storybrooke and find out what happened to Kathryn, and whether or not Mary Margaret can find a way to forgive David. Maybe the better question is whether or not he can give her a reason to.

Season 1, Episode 13: “What Happened To Frederick?” (originally aired February 19, 2012)

Once Upon A Time airs Sunday nights at 8/7c on ABC

Images courtesy of Jack Rowand and ABC.

With so few bachelorettes left in the game, Ben has a lot of thinking to do. This week, he took the gang to Belize for yet another tropical getaway full of sun, fun, and scary adventures. Every week Ben gets a little closer to discovering who his true love will be so the stakes couldn’t be higher and the kitty claws couldn’t be sharper.  The much anticipated “hometown” round will be here next week where Ben will be invited to meet the families of the final four girls and since there were six left this week, two were destined to be cut. The date card situation was a little different, too, so this is how it went down: three private one-on-one dates and one group date. No roses were up for grabs like in previous dates except for the group date. The rose recipient on the group date will be the first confirmed girl of the eventual four to be bringing Ben back to meet her lovely family for a quickie introduction.

The ladies were set up in a fancy villa upon arrival, as usual, where they chatted away and continued to make astute observations about one another and by one another I mean Courtney. Being compared to a prowling, blood-thirsty shark by Emily couldn’t be a more accurate description of ol’ Unibrow and her typical catty antics didn’t disappoint this week.

The first one-on-one date invite came and went to Lindzi, whose card read, “Two halves make a whole.” Or maybe it was “hole”. Usually the date card message is a clue to how the two would be spending the day together so to make good on the pun, Ben took Lindzi to the Great Blue Hole of Belize where they leaped from a helicopter into the deep, blue abyss to swim around the coral reefs. It sounds pretty amazing, and it was, except for the first five minutes where Ben had to practically push Lindzi out of the helicopter because she was deathly afraid of heights. This guy must get some kind of kick out of making his dates panic.

That evening, they cruised to a candlelit pier where the two shared a glass of wine and talked about the future. As a cute romantic gesture, the pair wrote a short, silly fairytale that vaguely reflected their feelings for one another and then sent the hopeful message afloat in a glass bottle into the waters of Belize. But would the fairytale be about these two in the end?

During Lindzi’s date, the second one-on-one date card arrived for Emily, much to Courtney’s dismay. “Do you Belize in love?” said the card. Emily was so excited to get the invitation and it came just in time for her to get away from Unibrow’s dagger eyes. Courtney couldn’t quit her bitching from the start of the episode over the fact that she’s been neglected by Ben because he hasn’t given her a one-on-one date in some time. So what does Courtney do when she’s not getting her way? She uses threats like saying that she’s losing the spark and if she doesn’t get a one-on-one this week, she just plain won’t accept a rose from Ben. The sense of entitlement with this chick is downright infuriating!

The next day, Ben took Emily on what I would consider a mild date full of biking around the local villages and taking in some scenery. Just when I thought they wouldn’t be getting their hand dirty Ben took Emily lobster diving for their dinner. She was all for it, stating that she loves Ben’s spontaneous nature but sometime you have to wonder if she really loves it or just wants to appear agreeable. That evening, they dined on their fresh lobsters and did some much needed bonding since the past Courtney-Emily squabbles had put some doubts in Ben’s mind. If there had been a date rose that night, I’m pretty sure Emily would have gotten it.

Back home, Courtney continued to brood over Ben’s date with Emily and make up more empty threats of leaving altogether. The third date card arrived and finally answered Courtney’s incessant prayers of getting a one-on-one with the bachelor. Not only did she get her way but she gloated and shoved the date in everyone’s faces like a bratty kid with candy in a room full of starving children.

The next day, Ben took Unibrow to explore some amazing Mayan ruins where she proceeded to tell him he needed to step his game up. With a hefty browbeating (pun totally intended), she managed to make him feel guilty at the idea of possibly losing her before getting to really know her. Although the day went well, she began to dig herself into a deep hole that night when Ben asked her how she was getting along with the other girls. Her defensive walls immediately went up and she mentioned she wasn’t there to make friends. So, basically she admitted that there was some house tension that she may be the catalyst to which put a few red flags up in his head. Time to wake up, Ben!

During Courtney’s one-on-one date, the last date card came to the villa to announce the group outing. Rachel, Kacie B., and Nicki were invited for a day at sea, starting at 4 am. This had fun written all over it from the start! It was in no way going to be just a relaxing day on the ocean; there had to be some freaky enterprise on the horizon. Off to Shark Alley they went, which is an area in Belize that is known for having the highest concentration of sharks in one place, to do a little snorkeling. It’s not a Ben date unless you’re risking your life just a little bit! Kacie and Nicki had no problem adapting to Ben’s wishes but Rachel could barely hide the fear from her face. After some coaxing and a little hand holding, Ben finally convinced her to give it a shot. Or maybe that one date rose up for grabs did the convincing.

After the refreshing swim, Ben joined the ladies back at their villa for a much needed poolside chat. The girls could no longer conceal their thoughts about Courtney’s disingenuous nature and merely wanted to make him aware that Emily may have been on to something.  Now he’s finally beginning to realize that there may be a sneaky snake in the grass after all. After a little individual speed dating with each of his three dates, Ben gave Kacie B. the one and only date rose making the appointment with her family official.

That evening, everyone was in painful anticipation of how the night would turn out. Only four roses were being handed out this week and one had already gone to Kacie. Two ladies would be going home and, with fingers crossed, everyone hoped at least one of them would be Courtney. The cocktail party before the rose ceremony was the girls’ last chances to connect with Ben but to their surprise he had already decided what he wanted to do that night and opted to nix the whole cocktail function. It was like sudden death, The Bachelor style. As the girls lined up, the only thing Ben wasn’t completely sure of was Courtney. He asked to pull her aside privately where he demanded to know what her true intentions were. Once again, she managed to slyly pull the wool over his eyes and weaseled her way back into line. Lindzi and Nicki were given roses, leaving Rachel, Emily, and Courtney to sweat it out for the last rose. There was no way Rachel was staying, that was evident, and she didn’t. After a long, silent pause, Ben shockingly gave the rose to Courtney. The Unibrow prevails again! The shock on Emily’s face was overwhelming and I think a lot of people felt the impact right along with her. How many girls does it take to tell Ben and how many times does he need to be told that Courtney is an underhanded foe? Whatever, it’s on him now. At least next week when we meet her family we can finally find out who she gets those brows from.

Season 16, Episode 7: Belize (originally aired February 13, 2012)

Images courtesy of ABC.

Regina takes the job of being Evil Queen seriously. She’s got a hand stirring everyone’s pot, and this week she’s set her sights on making Rumplestilskin more miserable than ever. And that guy has already lost his wife, his son, and his soul – you would think even she would leave him alone.

We begin the week’s tale in Storybrooke, where Mr. Gold (Robert Carlyle) repossessing a non-paying client’s van full of flowers. The man begs for more time, but we all know how unforgiving Mr. Gold can be most of the time. Afterward Regina (Lana Parrilla) asks for a word, but Gold refuses.

Mary Margaret (Ginnifer Goodwin) and David (Josh Dallas) are still making eyes at one another and pretending there’s nothing going on, a course of action that’s frankly beneath Snow and Prince Charming and needs to stop. She and Emma (Jennifer Morrison) run into Ruby (Meghan Ory) and Ashley (Jessy Schram) at the coffee shop, and the group of women alone on Valentine’s Day decide to have a girl’s night out. Emma begs off, but the other three plan to meet later for drinks.

In fairytale land, we meet a man about to lose a war. He’s desperate, and he does what desperate men do – he called Rumplestilskin for a favor. Rumplestilskin promises to help, but he wants the man’s daughter Belle (Emilie de Ravin) in return, to stay with him forever. The man and the girl’s fiancée Gaston refuse, but Belle makes the decision to go with Rumplestilskin and save her friends and family. When her captor asks later why she did such a thing, Belle responds that she always wanted to be brave and this is her chance.

In keeping with the traditional Beauty and the Beast tale, Belle and Rumplestilskin begin to slowly break one another’s defenses down, to learn who the other is underneath their hideous – or lovely – exterior. When he lets her go, expecting to never see her again, Belle runs into the Evil Queen on the road. Then the rather insightful vixen guesses both who Belle’s employer is and how she feels about him, and tells Belle that every curse can be broken by true love’s kiss.

Belle returns to the mansion and kisses Rumplestilskin. His skin begins to turn back to normal, but her excited exclamations that she’s breaking the curse anger him. He accuses her of working with the Queen to steal his magic, and he throws her in the dungeon.

In Storybrooke, Mr. Gold’s house has been vandalized by the man he angered on the street earlier. It turns out, though, that he’s not just anyone…he’s Belle’s father. Mr. Gold finds him, demanding a special something back that was stolen, but quickly works himself into a rage and nearly beats the man to death before Emma shows up and stops him.

It turns out Rumplestilskin let Belle go a second time, unwilling to hold her captive but unable to believe she could truly love him. She leaves him with the prediction that one day he will regret being too big of a coward to take a leap of faith on their love. Later that day, the Evil Queen arrives and relates a tale of a young girl, disgraced after her association with Rumplestilskin, had been cast from her father’s home. Priests tortured her during a prescribed “cleansing” and she jumped from a tower to her death. We’re meant to believe – and Rumplestilskin believes, that Belle is dead.

Except Regina is up to something in the real world as well. She goes to see Mr. Gold in jail, bribing Emma with the promise of spending thirty minutes with Henry (Jared Gilmore). Regina wants to make a deal with the dealmaker. She’ll give him the stolen item he wants back more than anything, if only he’ll tell her his real name. He gives in, and she pulls a chipped teacup from her bag. The china is a memento of the only person in the world who loved him after he became what he believes is a monster. Regina challenges him to an all-out battle to determine who has the greater power, and Mr. Gold believes he has the upper hand.

But that’s only because he doesn’t know Regina has Belle held captive, alone in a cell without a single visitor in all the years they’ve been exiled.

I enjoyed the revelation of the Beauty and the Beast tale very much. I was skeptical when they revealed a few weeks ago that Rumplestilskin would be playing the role of the Beast, but in the end he won me over. Emilie de Ravin’s Belle was pitch-perfect, striking the right balance between her sweet, open nature and her headstrong bent toward wanting more than the life laid out for her. I almost can’t believe I’m saying this, but I bought into their  love, and once again the writer’s have tricked me into feeling badly for Rumplestilskin.

In the battle of who can be more evil in Storybrooke and beyond,  no one can hold a candle to the Evil Queen/Regina. Rumplestilskin is terrible. He’s a mean man with a shriveled heart and a tendency to care very little for anyone but himself. The difference is, we’ve gotten a peek behind the curtain at his motivations and he’s a sympathetic person, despite his actions.

Regina is none of those things. I don’t care at this point why she’s doing such horrible things, but hopefully in the weeks to come we’ll see more of her past, perhaps even that elusive bit of knowledge I’ve been craving since week 1 – what Snow did to turn that woman into a mortal enemy.

Also of interest: Ashley/Cinderella and her Prince are engaged. On the flip side, Mary Margaret/Snow White wised up and told David/Prince Charming no more having his cake and eating it too.

Season 1, Episode 12 “Skin Deep” (originally aired February 12, 2012)

Once Upon A Time airs Sunday nights at 8/7c on ABC

Images courtesy of Jack Rowand and ABC.

Panama City was the scene this week on The Bachelor and Ben treated his remaining nine lovely ladies to some more fun in the sun, plus some more down and dirty dates. Love is officially in the air and amidst the thick jungles, flowing waterfalls, and heated atmosphere it’s all about survival at this stage in the game. No one knows that better than Courtney since this week she continued to reign as alpha bitch over the dwindling pack with her hungry eyes fixated on the little oblivious lamb, Ben.

This week was a little different from previous weeks when it came to the date cards. There was the usual group date, as well as a single one-on-one date, but the dreaded two-on-one date reared its ugly head for the first time, too. And similar to the one-on-one dates, Ben would be free to give the date rose to one girl, securing her place in the competition. Again, just one girl would obtain the rose on the doubled date so, whichever girl did not receive the rose by the end of the night would be cut from the competition even before the actual rose ceremony.

The first date card arrived, courtesy of Ben, and the first one-on-one was announced for Kacie B. She’s now the first girl in the group to be chosen for a private date for the second time and the news ruffled quite a few feathers. Kacie’s date card read, “Will our love survive? Pack three things.” Pack three things? Like if one were going to be stuck on a deserted island? With an introductory helicopter ride around Panama City, Ben and his date were then dropped off at San Blas Island, an actual deserted island, for a romantic afternoon of fending for themselves. The two fished, built fires, defended themselves from wild monkey attacks (presumably), and hacked away at coconuts all day long. Living off the land was the perfect team building exercise for Kacie to prove to Ben that the two could survive anything, like let’s say a marriage (wink, wink), and her go with the flow attitude kept him confident in his choosing of Kacie for this week’s big one-on-one date. It was all fun and games, though, until the evening dinner date where Kacie told Ben all about her hard time growing up and her past battle with an eating disorder. All that mattered to Ben was that she was open and honest with him and really the good vibes between these two seem to genuinely be there anyway. He even went as far as to tell her that he had liked her from the start so, with that being said, Kacie B. was given the date rose.

During Kacie B.’s date, a second date card showed up, this time for the group outing. Everyone had secured a place for the next exciting adventure with Bachelor Ben except two- Blakeley and Rachel. This could only mean one thing: the two would inevitably be sharing Ben on the two-on-one date that was soon to surface. Blakeley was thrilled at the news, unlike Rachel whose look of dread could not be concealed. It all comes down to confidence on these threesome dates and at this point Rachel had none.

Well the next day’s group date certainly was interesting. Ben took the girls on a boat ride down the Chagres River and far away from their comfort zones. They docked on the banks of a local tribe’s village where upon arrival the bachelorettes were taken away by the native women for some traditional garb fittings while Ben was taken away and sizeded for a loin cloth. That sounds so weird, I know. So, so weird. So the ladies were dressed in handmade beaded tops and being American women, were happy to respect the natives’ offerings but not to the extent of going completely topless underneath, as is the norm in the village of Embera. The more demure women kept their bikini tops on under the beaded garments with the exception of Courtney who just couldn’t pass up the opportunity to delight Ben with a little extra skin. That made for some interesting conversation among the group.

That evening at the cocktail party, Ben toasted to the ladies’ going with the flow and more than likely hoped that the rest of the evening would continue to go that way. Ben took his time, taking each girl aside and trying to give them each a little personal time, which didn’t sit well with Courtney. Like a five-year old, she demanded attention by stripping down to her bikini and splashing around in the pool mere feet from where Ben and Jaime were having a chat. Obviously this was also a tactic to throw her competitor off and it worked extremely well. Things got real awkward fast for Jaime, and Ben’s wandering eyes were hard to miss. However, Courtney’s plan wasn’t foolproof since Lindzi was given the date rose that night, probably due to her low-drama personality. Courtney once again was not a happy camper.

During the group cocktail party, the final date card showed up making the two-on-one date official. Blakeley’s enthusiasm could barely be contained- she was going to ace this date! Their card had read, “Save the last dance for me…” so as assumed, Ben treated the girls to a little dancing, salsa style. Just like in love, chemistry determines how well two partners mesh so, with their game faces on, Rachel and Blakeley pulled out all their best moves to impress Ben on the dance floor. Since Blakeley had walked into this with confidence to begin with, she stole the show while Rachel watched quietly from the sidelines and was even denied a cut-in at one point. Blakeley was not giving up that dance!

When it came to the dinner portion of the evening, things still weren’t looking up for Rachel. After all, how could she compete with Blakeley’s scrapbook dedicated to Ben? It’s true, she has one, and she pulled it out at the dinner to show what a special connection she had made with Ben. That’s a hard act to follow but after all was said and done that day it didn’t even matter. In a shocking, and I mean shocking twist of fate, Ben gave the date rose to Rachel which meant Blakeley was going home. Both girls were clearly shocked, Blakeley more so as she stormed out in tears upon hearing the unexpected news. How Rachel pulled this one off, I’ll never know.

The week in Panama City only got worse for more of the girls and Casey S was next. Apparently, some folks back in the U.S. tattled on her for having a boyfriend, or ex-boyfriend. I guess it depends who you’re asking because she denied it but couldn’t help but admit that she was still in love with the other guy. So after the news was brought to Ben’s attention he promptly gave her the boot and just like that a second girl was sent packing.

That evening was the final cocktail party before the rose ceremony and wallflower Jaime’s last chance to make an impression without Courtney making a fool of herself in the background. The feeling between Ben and Jaime could not have been more painful as she awkwardly straddled his lap in a mini-dress and then tried to play a poorly executed kissing game with him. Ben quickly put a stop to the whole thing and once again another girl’s odds weren’t looking good.

At the rose ceremony, there were only three roses to be dealt. Three other fortunate ladies were already in possession of a rose, making them immune to elimination, and eventually Nikki and Courtney joined them. It was down to Emily and Jaime and, as the first non-shocking moment of the episode, Emily was given the final rose. Jaime admitted she had waited too long to stand out in the crowd but, had the chemistry really been there to begin with then maybe things wouldn’t have ended the way they did.

You can’t be compatible with everyone and, in the end, only one girl can make the final cut. I’m just glad that we’re down to six bachelorettes. All these ladies’ drama and antics are hard to keep track of and I feel exhausted for Ben! I hope for his sake his future wife really is one of these final six.

Season 16, Episode 6: Panama City, Panama (originally aired February 6, 2012)

Images courtesy of ABC.

Once again I have to tip my hat to Shonda Rhimes.  She manages to come up with innovative ways to freshen up Grey’s Anatomy every time.  I don’t think all of her attempts are successful, but the willingness to deviate from the norm is greatly appreciated.  This week the show takes a look at what would happen if just a few things in the past had gone down a little differently.  Concepts of chance, fate, and destiny have always intrigued me.  Using Meredith’s dream as a set up, we see Seattle Grace as if we’re in an alternate universe.  Let me explain.

What if Derek and Addison stayed together?  This scenario is presented, along with some much more implausible ones.  Let’s be honest, even if you made a different choice in life, that wouldn’t change the essence of who you are, would it?  Maybe it would.  Before she started dreaming, Meredith thought: what if my mother had never been sick?  Ellis Grey was a world-class surgeon, before she was stricken with Alzheimer’s.  Last Thursday’s episode showed what it would be like if Ellis Grey remained in her prime.  In Dreamland, Ellis and Richard are married and Meredith is Richard’s stepdaughter.  As a matter of fact, her name is Meredith Webber, not Grey.  How bizarre!  Owen and Callie are married, and Alex and Meredith are a couple.  Kepner is one of the cool kids, and Charles Percy is alive! I loved it.  The episode also showed hints of how some things were always meant to be.  Even though Owen and Callie are married, she and Arizona make a connection over shared surgical success.  There is a faint glimmer in their eyes as they look at each other, but of course their lives don’t allow that connection to develop.  Owen is still shell-shocked from the horrors of war, but we see what it would be like for him with a different support system in place.

It was most interesting to see well-established characters acting completely differently.   Miranda Bailey and Derek Sheperd are two of the most ambitious, brilliant doctors at Seattle Grace.  Could you imagine them being meek, passive, and underachieving?  This parallel universe shows a timid Bailey who is too afraid to confront Ellis with an oversight she made in a patient’s evaluation.  Ellis is arrogant and pushy, and her influence remains unchallenged.  She and Richard display favoritism towards Meredith, even offering to bump her rival Cristina from a surgery in order to give Meredith the opportunity.  That’s right, Cristina and Meredith are rivals and enemies, not “besties.” 

Unbeknownst to Meredith, her fiancé  Alex is cheating on her with Kepner.  When Cristina spitefully spills the beans about the affair, Alex’s golden ticket of marrying Ellis’ daughter is ruined.   The episode ends with Meredith and Cristina sharing a drink and becoming unlikely friends.  Despite the fact they are operating in an alternate reality, we see that maybe Cristina and Meredith’s friendship would have happened anyway, even if other circumstances were different.

In “real” life at Seattle Grace, Derek is an ambitious doctor and a loving, supportive husband who maintains clear professional boundaries between himself and his wife.  In Dreamland, he is the opposite.  He’s a skilled surgeon, but a petty individual who is mean to his wife Addison, even though she is pregnant with their baby.  Instead of nurturing and supporting her, they bicker constantly.  His face is covered in stubble and he looks like a burnout.  As a matter of fact, the residents don’t call him McDreamy.  With his sour disposition he is known as McDreary, a gloomy Gus who sucks the joy out of any room.

I think it’s a difficult task to keep a venerable series like Grey’s Anatomy fresh and new.  I’m satisfied with the strong writing and character development I continue to see each week, and I don’t think the show needs to resort to gimmicks to keep loyal viewers like me interested.  Having said that, I appreciate the writers’ willingness to play around with different ideas and have fun.  We all have wondered “what if, “ at some point in our lives.   What if we had taken the other job, or gone to the other school, or chosen the other guy.   Can we change destiny, or are some things going to happen no matter what?  It was nice to see the writers shake things up a bit.  Keep up the good work ABC!

Season 8, Episode 13: “If/Then” (original air date February 2, 2012).

Grey’s Anatomy airs Thursdays at 9/8c on ABC.

Images courtesy of ABC and Vivian Zink.

Would it be surprising for you to know that Mary Mouser likes hanging out with dead people? Okay, so they’re not so much dead, but actors pretending to be dead. What with her role on ABC’s hit crime drama Body of Proof, a series revolving around investigating death at the medical examiner’s office, I suppose the slight necromancy issue isn’t really all that surprising. But as Mary tells us in an interview with Poptimal.com, they’re just like us those dead guys and gals, only sleepier.

Fans of Body of Proof will recognize Mouser as Lacey Fleming, the formerly estranged teenage daughter of the brilliant but emotionally distant, Dr. Megan Hunt (played by Dana Delaney). Recently, Poptimal got the chance to catch up with the young actress in the midst of filming the back half of the show’s second season and in our interview the multi-talented star talks with us about her new Disney Channel movie Frenemies, an obsession with vampires, and what it’s like for her character to grow up among the dead.

She’s only 15 years old, but Mouser already has an impressive credit list behind her with roles in a number of TV series including Eloise, Life is Wild and NCIS as well as a number of movies. And this winter, Mouser added another network to her list working for the first time with the juggernaut of teen/tween television the Disney Channel in her new movie Frenemies.

Revolving around three groups of friends who dance along the fine line between friends and enemies, Mouser took on the dual role of lookalikes Emma and Savannah. When talking about her role, Mouser tells us how she didn’t actually think that she’d get the part. “When I did the first audition they only had me read one of the characters and not the other one. I was kind of disappointed because I thought I didn’t do well and started to question everything.”

But it would be at a later callback where she would get a last minute surprise that could potentially lock her into the role, “I was sitting in the call back room and they said by the way while you’re reading over it we’re just going to throw in, Emma has a British accent now.” A new twist to the game, but little did they know that Mouser was tailor made for this twist thanks to her love of Harry Potter as well as some help from her siblings. “My sister’s obsessed with British people who do vlogs, video blogs, so she talks in a British accent all the time as a joke and my brother’s friend Calvin talks in a British accent so I kind of had that down.” And the rest, as they say, is history.

Keshaunta Moton for Poptimal.com: What did you first think when you read the script for Frenemies?
Mouser: I thought it was really cute and I was really excited about it. A lot of things changed for me from the script that I got, to the script you guys saw on screen but I loved it all the way through since I first got the opportunity to read for it.

Poptimal: How was it for you acting in it and then watching yourself on screen?
Mouser: It was weird because when I was acting in it I could look at the other person and know that it wasn’t actually me standing there, it was my double. But watching it on screen there was like two of me, it was weird. I didn’t feel like I was actually watching me.

Poptimal: How was it working on set?
Mouser: It was a lot of fun. It was a totally new experience for me because I’ve always worked with adults so working with Disney, working with kids my age was totally new for me. It was a lot of fun, especially getting to play double characters and I got double the time getting to do what I love.

Poptimal: Do you think you’ll do more with Disney?
Mouser: I’d love to get another opportunity to do something like it.

Poptimal: If you had the chance, what Disney Channel show would you like to step into?
Mouser: Good Luck Charlie, I love that show. I think it’s the cutest Disney show. I love it so much, but of course to this day, I’m fifteen years old, but I’m a total Disney girl. I love everything about Disney.

Poptimal: How do you relate to the concept of Frenemies, is that something you’ve had to deal with in your personal life?
Mouser: I’m always careful to pick the people around me who really are there for me all the time, but I think every friendship has fights. I’ve definitely experienced little fights here and there because when you become really close with someone you can’t agree on everything. So it becomes easier to vent your feelings with the person when you’re closer to them. There does tend to be little fights here and there, but real friendships will power through it.

Poptimal: What would you do if you discovered you had a secret twin/doppelganger?
Mouser: I think I would probably have her switch places with me, a really simple thing, and just see how it went; if people believed it. I always wonder would my friends question it, would they think that that was me? You never really know. You know that your best friends know you but what if there was someone who looked just like you and they didn’t see it coming? What would they do? I think that would be really cool to find out.

Poptimal: You’re also on Body of Proof, can you tell us about that?
Mouser: I get to play Dana Delaney’s daughter on the show and it’s a huge thing for me. It’s my family. I was there on set yesterday and every time I walk on the set I find something that I love even more than I do the day before. I’m getting to do what I love every single day; it’s a huge deal for me. And the cast, they’re hilarious. They like to tease me with my vampire obsession. It’s fun and it’s a happy atmosphere that I’m so lucky to be a part of.

Poptimal: What do you mean by vampire obsession?
Mouser: I was kind of a huge Twilight fan, and still am. I also love The Vampire Diaries and pretty much anything of that genre. And so Nick [Bishop] loves to put on his best Edward impression and tease me about my love for sparkly vampires.

Poptimal: Is his impression good?
Mouser: It really is, actually. I told him he should do that voice as Peter sometimes, it would be hilarious.

Poptimal: How do you feel about Lacey’s progression as a character?
Mouser: I’m really excited about it. She’s become a lot like any teenager would be and more and more like me. It’s just really exciting because I love getting to be someone else, pretend to be someone else, be this character, this person that you created but I can still relate to Lacey in a lot of ways and that’s really exciting to me.

Poptimal: In what ways do you relate to Lacey?
Mouser: I think Lacey is growing up, she’s becoming more mature and handling more grown up things like I do on set, where I’m working with adults. Even when I’m working with other kids you have to be professional, you have to be ready to go on set and do your job and have fun with it at the same time. So Lacey’s growing up and becoming more mature and learning to handle all that stuff.

Poptimal: What do you think about the change in Megan and Lacey’s relationship?
Mouser: I think as this season has shown and as you see in the relationship, they’re always going to be who they are. They’re never fake to each other. They’re family, you know. They check each other. That’s who they are. I like that we’re becoming a little more open with each other and Lacey’s leaning really hard on her mom for support. She’s slowing but surely becoming more forgiving of her mother for everything that happened in the divorce from her father and she’s starting to lean on her and go to her for support which is great.

Poptimal: What’s been your favorite storyline/moment of the past two seasons?
Mouser: My two favorite episodes would have to be episode 2.06 and the second episode of season 1. Both episodes I got to be a part of the medical examiner’s office. And I just sort of step in and act with all the characters and see the dead bodies and things like that, it’s really fun for me.

Poptimal: The dead bodies?
Mouser: It’s a little crazy, right? It’s fun and it’s exciting and getting to see the behind the scenes kind of stuff is awesome. It’s really, really cool.

Poptimal: But there are no actual cadavers, right?
Mouser: No, they are not real dead bodies. A lot of them are actors and that’s really funny because they end up filming sometime and they’ll be doing an autopsy and the body is like snoring. And they have to wake him up during the scene. Imagine performing an autopsy on someone and going, “Oh yeah, they’re alive.”

Poptimal: Maybe I’m just a little squeamish.
Mouser: I was kind of freaked out seeing dead bodies walking around, but when you get to talk to them they’re completely normal people. You’re totally into the story and the tragic thing that happened to this person, and you’re like, “Wait a minute, no. This is completely a live person I’m talking to.”

Poptimal: What’s your inspiration as an actor?
Mouser: I’ve had a lot of inspirations growing up and acting, like the people that I look up to and it changes as I get older. I look up to now especially Dana [Delaney] because I get to learn from her so much, but also other actresses who are young actresses like Emma Stone and Ellen Page. I look up to them in a way that I want to have a career like that. Even people like Betty White. I want to be acting my whole life.

Poptimal: How did you first know you wanted to be an actor?
Mouser: I was 5 years old and we were on vacation in Pennsylvania and there was an open call. My mom’s friend lived there and she was like, “You should go in, they’re looking for a five-year-old girl,” and so we did. I ended up getting the photo double for Abigail Breslin in Signs. And from that moment forward, my parents were like, “Do you guys want to do this?” and we said yes so they got an apartment in New York and we just kind of started out there and got our agent and manager and they’ve been with us ever since. They told us to come out to California. And now we’re here.

Poptimal: What else do you have coming up?
Mouser: I’m finishing up season two of Body of Proof. We’re on our last episode right now for the season, so I guess I’m just giving my best shot at things I have coming and keeping my fingers crossed and praying for a third season for Body of Proof.

Poptimal: Can you give us a little tease?
Mouser: You see a little bit of who Lacey really is as she opens up to her mom, and who she’s becoming which I think is really fun and you start to kind of get into her head.

Poptimal: What do you like to do when you’re not working?
Mouser: I love to sing; I also read and write anything, literally anything. I would write a full page of nothingness just to write. And I’m learning guitar right now which I love.

Poptimal: What do you enjoy most about acting?
Mouser: There are a lot of aspects about acting that I find fascinating. I guess one of them would be becoming someone else because you get to create this entire personality. I mean, you grew up your whole life and you have memories, and you have favorite memories and favorite foods and favorite colors; things that you can completely create for this whole new person that you’re going to become and I find that really exciting. Even if you just have one scene in a TV show, one episode, you still get to be this person. And also I love the mechanics of it. I love getting to learn about the sound department and the camera and ask questions of everyone learn all about it.

For Mary acting’s in the blood, having both a brother and sister in the business. So, are we going to see a family reunion on screen someday? That’s the plan. “It’s something we’ve always dreamed about and talked about,” Mouser tells us. “I think it would be really fun to be able to do something together.” How about a musical? “My sister and I love to sing,” Mouser admits although stating that while it would be fun to do Broadway that’s quite a departure from what she’s used to so she’s going to leave that to more capable hands, “my sister is the one. She loves anything that involves acting and singing at the same time. From big theatre productions to a Hannah Montana kind of role is her dream.”

Mary Mouser’s Favorite 5:
TV Show: Doctor Who
Vampire: Edward Cullen
Song: “The First Day of My Life” by Bright Eyes.
Memory: “For Thanksgiving one year my sister, mom, and I went to Disney Land overnight and we woke up super early and went to Disney Land in the morning. It was so much fun. Disney Land’s like my happy place so that was definitely a fun memory for me.”
Book: Twilight or Harry Potter, though special shout out to The Hunger Games

Thanks Mary for talking with us. Catch Disney Channel for the next airing of Frenemies. Body of Proof airs Tuesdays at 10/9c on ABC.

Gentle Ben attempted to bring some spicy flavor to The Bachelor this week with an adventurous getaway to the island of Vieques in Puerto Rico. Eleven remaining ladies were invited along for the amazing trip and the romantic surroundings just seemed to amp the girls’ competitiveness up even more. From here on out, things are going to become a real challenge for our bachelor as he tries his best to read each woman’s personality and intentions. Good luck with that one, Ben. Okay, so his future wife could potentially be in this crowd and with only a two month or so chunk of time to spend with them, he better get to know each and every one of them real quick!

The gaggle of girls were put up at the relaxing W Retreat and Spa, however, the residue from the Courtney-Emily feud of episodes past could still be felt throughout the entire island. In a private interview, Courtney reiterated the situation by telling us that Emily was still on her shit list, she’s “dead to her” and my personal favorite Courtney quote, “You better check yourself, bitch.” Why wouldn’t Ben want to marry this gem?

The first date card arrived with a special message for Nicki that read,“ Let’s find new love in Old San Juan.“ The perky brunette could heave a sigh of relief but the rest of the bachelorettes continued to hold their breath until the remaining date cards would arrive. Ben picked Nicki because of her easygoing demeanor and playfulness which he admired most about her. The date was going off without a hitch as they strolled the streets of San Juan until a massive rain storm exploded over their heads and drenched them. A little rain is sometimes romantic but it was to the point where it just wasn’t cute anymore, so as a plan b, the two stopped off at some local clothiers to buy some authentic island gear. Although Ben had an all-white ensemble picked out to show off his “Latin swagger” he wound up looking a lot more like an old Florida retiree. Geriatric tendencies aside, love was certainly in the air that day when the two witnessed a grandiose wedding at an old chapel and later shared a bottle of wine on the beach together. Nicki opened up to Ben and let him play the twenty questions game about her past marriage and how everything has worked out for the better in the end. Nicki had worried that a previously failed marriage might be a deal-breaker for the bachelor but her honesty won him over entirely and she was given the date rose that night.

Back at the den, the second date card arrived, this one being the group date announcement. The card read, “Diamonds are a girl’s best friend!”, which by the way is a huge tease the room full of marriage-ready women. Nine names were written down meaning that the only girl’s name left out would obviously be going on the last one on one date of the trip and Elyse was the lucky winner there. The next day, the girls were bussed off to a secret location to meet up with Ben. Turns out they were dropped off at the door of the Roberto Clemente baseball stadium for another sweaty, dirty, outdoor date. I’m not entirely sure that baseball diamonds were what the ladies had in mind after that date card but they were all prepared to play a little hard ball to win Ben’s affection. After a series of drills, batting, and fielding (sounds like a nightmare), The Bachelor host Chris Harrison showed up with some interesting news for the women. There would be the expected evening cocktail date as always that night but only half of the bachelorettes would be able to attend. The winners of a proposed baseball game would be rewarded with an invite so the nine were split into two teams, with Lindzi being the odd man out and playing for both the red and blue teams. Lindzi was the only one guaranteed a spot for the promised beach party but it was up to the rest of them to duke it out on the field in a game to the bitter end and that they did. Courtney led the red team as captain and her unbridled determination must have rubbed off on her teammates because they kicked the blue team’s ass.

At the beach party that night, Courtney was up to her old tricks again. As she just can’t keep her stupid opinions to herself, she felt it was necessary to comment on how lame the other girls are and how none of them are right for Ben. She’s also been on to his secret feelings for Kacie B. and Court doesn’t like that at all. Kacie B. was given the date rose that night so Courtney was forced to step it up by stealing Ben for a private moment on the beach where she whispered sweet nothings and tempted him with the idea of skinny dipping.

Day three arrived and Elyse was overjoyed with the idea of spending a whole day alone with Ben. Elyse had put everything on the line to join the competition, including quitting her job and declining an invite to her own best friend’s wedding, and was not leaving the show without a ring on her finger. Things went well for a bit when they cruised around in their mega-yacht and talked about the future until Elyse’s statement of already accomplishing everything she’d like to do in her life threw a red flag up in Ben’s head. It only got worse at their private dinner when she echoed her statement and then finished it off with some “I’m tired of being single” talk that made Ben question if she was really in it for him specifically or if maybe any old guy would do. Then things got super awkward and Ben had to let Elyse know out of pure honesty that he couldn’t connect with her and couldn’t see a relationship forming at all. Ben refused her the date rose and a sobbing and very pained Elyse had to go home.

The news of Elyse was music to Courtney’s ears and she immediately seized the opportunity to break The Bachelor rules and meet Ben at his room to make good on her skinny dipping promises. His initial thoughts were that it probably wasn’t a good idea, BUT he should take the opportunity to get to know her better, right? Suuuure. In an instant the two were bare and getting frisky in the ocean while the rest of the ladies sat in their rooms completely unaware of the debauchery going on mere feet from their doorstep.

At the pre-rose ceremony cocktail party, Ben made sure to spend a little time with each of the bachelorettes. He made a point to reconnect with Jennifer, whom he’d had a spectacular one on one date with back in Park City. Blakely especially needed a few moments with Ben as her insecurity really came out in this episode. She was on the losing team during the baseball game and it really got to her. She unloaded emotionally on Ben and her willingness to be completely open, a trait Ben harps on constantly, really reinforced his feelings for her. Meanwhile, Courtney was so proud of her skinny dipping secret that she was practically beaming with self-pride. Somehow she was able to keep her big mouth zipped even though it was completely obvious that she desperately wanted to slam the news into everyone’s faces. Emily is still feeling the sting from Courtney’s bad attitude and from the last rose ceremony that she just barely skated by in. When Ben pulled her aside, she apologized for bringing up the Courtney drama and they agreed to wipe the slate clean. Courtney must have really pulled some voodoo on Emily, though, because within seconds she was back to debating with Ben over what a fake weirdo Courtney really is. This confused Ben and worried Emily; she knew she had screwed up once again and she was on thin ice.

At the rose ceremony, Ben had made a comment that this had been one of the most pivotal weeks for him in Bachelor history thus far. One girl would be going home tonight and everyone had decided that they’d just absolutely die (literally) if it was them. Courtney was called to receive a rose early in the ceremony, as well as Casey S., for reasons unknown really. I think I’ve all about forgotten who she was, other than being Courtney’s best friend in the house and that’s nothing to boast about. Blakely was seconds away from having a full blown anxiety attack before she was called for a rose so her therapy session with Ben really paid off. And then there were two: Emily and Jennifer. This was it; Courtney was about to get her wish of watching Emily get kicked to the curb but, in a shocking twist, Ben called Emily to receive a rose. I don’t think any of the women saw this coming, nor did any of the viewers. After having such a killer date with Jennifer back in Utah, I guess there still wasn’t as strong a bond as he made it out to seem. Maybe he’s wising up and realizing that Emily is on his side and she should be given a chance, even if it’s just one more.

Season 16, Episode 5: Puerto Rico (original air date January 30, 2012)

Images courtesy of ABC.

Fairytales have become all the rage lately, just look around and you’ll see several TV shows and movies inspired by the happily ever after characters we’ve known of old. And with the notable success of two of this season’s standout shows of this genre, I think it’s fair to say that, for good or bad, this trend is not going to come to an end anytime soon.

If the new offerings could offer just as much imagination and chemistry as NBC’s Grimm or ABC’s Once Upon a Time, we TV viewers could be in for a season of spoiling. I’m personally not holding out too much hope for that (what are the odds we could be so lucky?), but if there’s anything to be grateful for it’s that Grimm and Once Upon a Time lead the pack.

Poptimal.com had the chance to participate in a Q&A with Jim Kouf and David Greenwalt co-creators (with Stephen Carpenter) and executive producers of the wonderfully moody and suspenseful series Grimm. During the call, the two talked about their series, fracturing the fairytales, and what fans can look forward to from Grimm.

Starring David Giuntoli and Russell Hornsby, Grimm follows the life of Nick Burkhardt, a homicide detective who learns that he is the descendant of hunters of the supernatural, known as Grimms. Along with his partner Hank (played by Hornsby) and his supernatural informant Monroe (Silas Weir Mitchell), Nick must work to protect mankind from the dangerous supernatural creatures of the world. But as we learn from Greenwalt and Kouf, humans aren’t the only ones who need protection. In the upcoming episodes, good Grimm creatures, also known as Wesen, get caught up with some really bad humans. The Grimm creatures are in trouble. But don’t worry, they will have their champion as in a reversal of fortunes the producers reveal that several “downtrodden” creatures will finally get their day in court.

About Giuntoli and Hornsby, Greenwalt and Kouf had only nice things to say. Saying that Hornsby had something “very special, really cool but warm” to the casting call, the two said they fell in love with him and that he brings authority to the role. Speaking of Guintoli, they tell us that it was hard to find someone in the right age range, yet fresh faced and with enough talent and work history to shoulder a whole show. Overall, they said that they got really lucky with the cast.

When asked about what they think of the sudden influx of fairytale related shows, Greenwalt tell us it’s all a simple case of public domain; they’re stories that everyone already knows.

“People love these stories,” he said, “There’s a reason they’ve been handed down both in written and oral form for all these hundreds and hundreds of years. They still have an appeal.”

Though Grimm is based mainly on the Grimm Brothers Fairytales the two tell us that not every story can translate into an episode, and some are harder than others to adapt. Greenwalt and Kouf also tell us that they’re having fun fracturing the fairytales, taking the old stories and adding a twist, as well as creating new fairytales based on what’s going on today by putting it in fairytale context, such as the case of the child molester transformed into the big bad wolf.

One of the greatest things about Grimm, they tell us, is the creative freedom to depart from reality which makes the series more fun to write. Kouf adds that one of the purposes is to “explain human behavior in a bizarre way.” When asked about the challenges of creating the series, Kouf tells us that for him producing every show is a challenge, describing it as “writing movies, and producing on a TV schedule.” But in the end, the payoff is watching a dark and psychological episode.

So what’s coming up on Grimm? Azura Sky will guest star in an episode as “a bird like creature with many given talents and gifts.” Hank will prepare to get his world rocked by an unnamed woman. Amy Acker will guest star as a “black widow like you’ve never seen before.” And an epic fight is coming up in an episode titled “Last Grimm Standing” which they call a “monster” to shoot. The guys still haven’t heard whether Grimm has been picked up for a second season, but say it’s “not unpromising.” Keep your fingers and toes crossed that NBC does keep this fantastic series going, because as we’ve seen they’re not making the best decisions lately (cough, Community) and need I mention Whitney?

Grimm airs on Fridays at 9/8c on NBC.

Images courtesy of Eric Ogden and Scott Green/NBC.

The writer’s of Once Upon A Time revealed the storybook identity of another town resident this week, and although he doesn’t belong in the core canon of classic tales per se, he is part of one of the most beloved Disney animated films from the past twenty years.

The town’s journalist, Sidney Glass (Giancarlo Esposito), has been disgraced and fired by the mayor after he failed to win the sheriff election against Emma Swan (Jennifer Morrison). Intent on exacting revenge, he goes to Emma with some information – Mayor Regina (Lana Parrilla) took over $50K from the town treasury for an undisclosed reason. Emma is reluctant at first, but after Regina bulldozes her special place with Henry (Jared Gilmore) and steals his book of fairytales, she changes her mind. Emma does insist on keeping the investigation on the high road…at least at first.

Once she discovers someone tampered with the brakes on her car, Emma decides – with a little nudge from Mary Margaret (Ginnifer Goodwin), who is spending illicit time with David (Josh Dallas) and looking to assuage her own guilty conscience – to take Regina down no matter how low she has to stoop to make that happen.

Bad decision. First of all, you can’t stoop to Regina’s level, because no one else can sink that low. Second, I thought Emma learned her lesson a few weeks ago after her run in with Mr. Gold (Robert Carlyle), but her need to protect Henry and beat Regina wins out. I’m a little surprised how disappointed I felt about her failure, given that Emma is probably my least favorite (and typically the least interesting, at least so far) character on the show.

Meanwhile, in the land of fairytales and happy endings, we meet Snow White’s father (Richard Schiff) for the first time when he plucks a lamp from a riverbed. A quick rub produces a genie (played by Giancarlo Esposito a.k.a. Sidney Glass), who offers to grant the man three wishes. Of course King Leopold is a man who raised a gentle, sensitive daughter like Snow White, and he’s too wise to desire anything other than the happiness of his subjects. Instead he uses one wish to set the genie free, and a second to give his third to the genie. The genie, having seen wishes destroy lives without exception, claims his only wish is to find true love.

King Leopold invites the genie back to the castle, where he meets Snow and Queen Regina for the first time. The King dotes on his daughter (of course, she’s Snow White!), and has never gotten over the death of his first wife, his one true love, leaving poor Regina feeling unloved and lonely. The genie falls madly in love with the sad Queen, gifting her a mirror to remind her what a beautiful woman she is, but the King soon becomes aware that his wife’s affections have strayed.

The genie has grand dreams of finding a way to free the poor queen from the clutches of her horrible life, and the answer arrives in the form of her father (and we know exactly what kind of jerkface that guy is), who gives him a box to present to Regina. Inside is a two-headed viper from the genie’s homeland, and after some master manipulation (no, I never doubted for a moment that Regina had her own designs from the start), the genie murders the king.

And get this. After the Queen reveals she never cared for him but only wanted someone to do her dirty work and then take the blame, the genie uses his final wish to ensure he’ll always be by her side.

And into the mirror he goes.

The origin of the Magic Mirror! Seriously superb imagination, writers. Seriously. SUPERB.

Back in Storybrooke (and I saw this coming too), we learn Sidney Glass has been working with Regina all the time (he just can’t quit her), and they’re going to be dogging Emma’s every move. Regina has forbidden her to see Henry, who is forlorn over the loss of his book…which it turns out his mother didn’t steal.

Because, you see, we’ve almost forgotten about our mysterious stranger (Eion Bailey). It turns out he has Henry’s book, and the only question burning hotter than his identity is still (for me) what exactly Snow White did to the Queen to earn eternal hatred.

Rumplestilskin is still trying to talk Emma into an alliance, which while I know is a poor idea, also intrigues me because I want badly to figure out his angle. I loved the backstory this week; the origin of the Magic Mirror is one of the more imaginative concepts we’ve seen so far.

Much to my dismay, I have a bad feeling about how this thing with David and Mary Margaret is going to end, and after the stranger stole Henry’s book of tales, I’ve got a bad feeling about him too. Next week we’ll be treated to a Beauty (Emilie de Ravin) and the Beast story…with Rumplestilskin as the Beast.

Here’s hoping the magic continues!

Season 1, Episode 11 “Fruit of the Poisonous Tree” (originally aired January 29, 2012)

Once Upon A Time airs Sunday nights at 8/7c on ABC.

Images courtesy of Jack Rowand and ABC.

This week’s episode of The Bachelor took us to Park City, Utah where Ben flexed his outdoor muscles for the ladies. Thirteen women remain overtly determined to win the love of the bachelor and successfully beat out their competition at the same time. It’s a freakin’ battlefield with these chicks! And what’s worse is that Ben couldn’t be more clueless to the tactics the women are using on him. Kacie B., who is extremely likeable, is also intensely needy, and when the first date card of the episode showed up announcing a private date with Rachel, Kacie all but fell apart, noting that she needs constant reassurance. Ben clearly has a soft spot for her, but I thought independence was one of his prerequisites?

Ben and Rachel start their date off with a helicopter ride over the majestic mountains of Park City followed by a lakeside picnic. I suppose the call of the wild wasn’t enough to evoke any feelings out of Rachel, hence the awkward pauses and bumpy conversation. Ben had a hell of a time trying to connect with her for most of the date and things were starting to look iffy, however, she was able to redeem herself at their evening dinner date when she finally enlightened Ben on her long, sad history as a horrible communicator. Gentle Ben melts instantly and gives her another shot by giving her the date rose.

Meanwhile, the second date card arrives at the homestead. A group date of eight ladies is announced and immediately everyone begins to overanalyze the situation: “When will I get a private date? What is Ben looking for specifically? I need constant reassurance!” It never ends. Nothing could stop the ladies from swooning over their bachelor, though, when he rode up the next day on a horse for their date. It was an adventurous day of getting their hands dirty with a little horseback riding and fly fishing, which seemed like a lot of fun for a bunch of high maintenance women. Most of these girls are doing what has to be done to make it in this competition so slapping on a smile and giggling over how awesome fly fishing can be is what most of them did. The most hated woman in the house, Courtney, has made it known from the start that she’d be calling the shots when it came to Ben and that she did. She and her unibrow made sure to steal him away for private time and even impressed him by catching the only fish of the day. Would this be a metaphor for how the rest of the day would play out? The answer is yes. Yes it would.

At the group cocktail party that evening, each girl was dead set on receiving the date rose, but before deciding who to keep, Ben had to decide to let one go, and quite abruptly. Samantha, who I honestly hadn’t even noticed was there, pulled Ben aside to challenge him, or maybe just complain, about why she had not yet been invited on a private date. She made it clear she was over the group date situation so Ben made it just as clear that he didn’t see a future with her at all. And just like that, she was tossed out on the street! Maybe he’s not as gullible as he leads me to believe after all…

The rest of the single girls are more than obviously irritated with Courtney’s two-faced demeanor and that beotch was going to step on anyone that night to get the date rose. Unibrow’s game playing tactic was to make Ben feel guilty for not spending enough time with her. With every word it sounded as if she was giving him an ultimatum, like she just might walk if he’s not careful, and he totally fell for it! Back to being clueless, I guess. Even after pulling Kacie B. aside to give her the much needed support she demanded, as well as telling her he was falling for her a bit, he still gave the date rose to Courtney.

Sometime during the night, the last date card surfaced with a private date invitation for the shy red-head, Jennifer. In guy fashion once again, Ben planned a rough and rugged manly date of hiking followed by repelling into a crater full of water. And like so many of the other women, Jennifer is deathly afraid of heights. But Ben doesn’t care; he sees the extreme sport dates where everyone’s nerves get rattled as a trust exercise and I, personally, am a little tired of his testing of the ladies. Miraculously, Jennifer gets through the date and is rewarded with not only a private dinner and the date rose but also a concert with country singer Clay Walker. Jennifer’s date actually turned out to be one of the most romantic so far this season.

Back at the bachelorette den, silent tension between Courtney and the rest of the house had been building all day but, of course, Courtney thrives off of this. At the final cocktail party before the rose ceremony, Emily lets the situation get the best of her and is completely ready to call Unibrow out on her shit. When she tries to bring up to Ben that one of the housemates may not be quite who she seems, he shuts her down quickly, refusing to fan any of the flames. And then things got super awkward. Emily was already starting to question if she’d be receiving a rose that night and then Courtney stirred up a little confrontation to really get into Emily’s head. “I don’t start fights, I finish them,” boasted Courtney. That’s nice. She also keeps using the term “winning” quite frequently. If that doesn’t say something about her, then I don’t know what does.

The final rose ceremony commenced and of the twelve remaining, one would be going home. Unfortunately, Monica was given the boot this week, although I can’t say I’m too surprised. She never seemed fully invested in the game despite the waterworks upon leaving that night. I think Monica was just starting to grow on us, too. To keep Emily in suspense, she was the last one to be handed a rose by Ben but, hey, a rose is still a rose! Emily seems like a good egg and tattling on Courtney did seem like the noble thing to do at the time, but I think from here on out, she’ll choose her battles more wisely. As for Courtney, I’m sure she’ll continue to stay classy.

Season 16, Episode 4: Park City, Utah (originally aired 1/23/2012)

For more dating drama tune in to ABC Mondays 8/7 central. 

Images courtesy of ABC.

After the first real swing and miss of the series last Sunday, with the boring, irrelevant, and saccharine story of Hansel and Gretel, Once Upon a Time hit it out of the park on Sunday night.

I could be biased, but I’m guessing I’m not the only person falling in love with the destiny filled past of Snow White and Prince Charming.

This week, the writers treated us to a whole hour filled with longing and heartbreak and sweet admissions of love. Good heavens, does that ever sound cheesy when I type it out.

In other news, the stranger (Eion Bailey) who arrived in town at the end of last week’s episode talks to Henry (Jared Gilmore), which makes Regina (Lana Parrilla) nervous. She asks Emma to check him out, but he seems to reveal only what he wants to be known, and at the moment that isn’t a whole lot.

He’s a writer. He finds Storybrooke inspiring, but won’t say whether or not he’s visited previously. Oh, and he wants to buy Emma (Jennifer Morrison) a drink. I’m trying to figure out which fairy tale he might belong to, along with how exactly he’s able to come and go from Storybrooke since no one else seems to accomplish that. We’re going to have to wait longer to learn the answers to those questions.

Mary Margaret (Ginnifer Goodwin) is sneaking out to be at the coffee shop at 7:15 every morning, which is exactly when David (Josh Dallas) shows up for his morning cup. She knows it’s pathetic, but she can’t seem to get him out of her mind. When she finds an injured dove and makes a trip into the woods to reunite it with its flock, David follows. It’s a good thing too, because she almost plunges over a cliff to her death – but he’s there to save her, like he always is. They end up in a cabin, alone in the woods, where she breaks down and admits she still has feelings for him. David confesses he goes to the diner every morning at 7:15 to see her, but when they almost kiss Mary Margaret tells him they can’t…because his wife Kathryn (Anastasia Griffith) might be pregnant. They decide, for at least the tenth time now, that they need to forget each other.

Meanwhile, in fairy tale land, Snow White goes to find Rumplestilskin (who is quite famous for making problems disappear) and asks how to get rid of the love she feels for Prince Charming, since he’s getting married in a couple of days. In return, the crackpot wish-granter gives her a potion that will cure her love – by making her forget she ever knew him. As Snow’s about to take the draught, a dove arrives with a message from the Prince. He can’t forget her either, and if she feels the same she should come to the palace and they would run away together.

Of course she goes (have you seen the man?) but is captured upon her arrival. The king, who is pretty much a dirt bag, gives her an ultimatum. Tell Prince Charming she doesn’t love him and never will, or he’ll have the Prince murdered. She goes in there and breaks his heart, and her own, then meets the seven dwarfs on the road home.

Aside: She saved Grumpy’s life earlier that night after he helped break her out of a prison cell. It was a lovely meet-cute for a lady and her future dwarf roommates.

At first Grumpy (Lee Arenberg) convinces her that her pain, her memories, make her who she is and the potion isn’t the way to deal with it. The next day the Prince rides in search of her, having called off his wedding, but when he arrives the dwarves find Snow has taken the potion – she has no memory of her Prince Charming.

In Storybrooke, David and Mary Margaret both change their schedules so they won’t run into one another at the diner, but end up there at the same time anyway. The little glimpse of fate is all it takes, and they share a wonderful, heartbreaking kiss that can make even cynical me believe that some loves are real.

Unfortunately, Regina witnesses the kiss (rule #1 of kissing a married man should be not kissing him on the street in a small town), and we can only assume she’s going to do something about it.  After all, the point of the curse is to eliminate happy endings, and Snow and Charming were first on her *hit list.

I loved this episode. Last week’s was weak, with no discernable link to any overarching themes. It gave us no reason why the Queen would care about Hansel, Gretel, or their father at all. We didn’t learn how the apple came about or why the blind witch would want to keep it from the Queen. The Storybrooke side of the story was so sweet it made me simultaneously roll my eyes and gag, which is not an easy feat, let me tell you.

They are back on point this week, and while I’ve quite enjoyed all of the episodes and glimpses into the genesis of various characters, the story of Snow and Charming has settled deep in my heart.

Which means, of course, we’ll be waiting a good long time to see their happy ending.

Season 1, Episode 10 “7:15 A.M.” (originally aired January 22, 2012)

For more on Once Upon A Time, check out other reviews here.

Once Upon A Time airs Sunday nights at 8/7c on ABC.

Images courtesy of Jack Rowand and ABC.

Feathers were more than a little ruffled this week on The Bachelor. It was your usual bevy of strange dating adventures and petty jealousy but by the end of the episode, the territory marking really began.

Sixteen ladies were off to Ben’s hometown of San Francisco for a chance to prove they could assimilate to city life as each struggled to prove they were potential wifey material for our bachelor. Ben’s sister, Julia, was the first woman to actually welcome him back to town with a lunch meeting to show support for her brother. Ben had a great time filling Julia in on the “strong, independent” and “drama-free” girls that were chosen for him. Oh, what a naïve world he’s living in.

The single ladies were put up at the glamorous Fairmont Hotel, complete with a lovely view of the big city. The first of three date cards arrived quickly and Emily was the lucky lottery winner for a one on one date with Ben, but the card, which alluded to heights, made her a little hesitant. Her worrying was validated when she discovered Ben would be taking her on a hike to the top of the famous Golden Gate Bridge. It’s not your most romantic date, nor would I have accepted if I were Emily as I share her horrific fear of heights, but the girl is in it to win it and if threatening her life on the top a humongous bridge is what she has to do, then apparently there’s nothing stopping her. I give her credit for being a good sport, though, because I think a lot of girls would have turned him down on this one. But overcoming her biggest fear was worth it in the end when Ben awarded her with the date rose.

Back at base camp, date card number two showed up announcing a big group date for the next day which promised a refreshing opportunity. Never failing to deliver, Ben took eleven ladies on a snow skiing adventure right on the streets of San Fran. Although it was a toasty eighty-five degrees that day, a snow machine turned one hilly street into a winter wonderland where everyone stripped down to their teeny bikinis and strapped on a pair of skis. Ben’s objective here was to really see who could just let loose and have fun and each girl seemed happy to throw on a smile to appease him. The date concluded with dinner and drinks, a la every date thus far, where each bachelorette took turns vying for attention. This dinner date did not go as well as previous, however. Earlier in the night, the third date card showed up which read, “Brittany- Let’s unlock our love with the key to the city”, accompanied by a necklace with a key-shaped pendant. Unbeknownst to the other women, and most of the viewers, Brittany hadn’t caught the same fever for Ben that the rest of the group had and after some tough debating, she decided to call it quits. After briefly interrupting Ben’s group date to bring him the bad news, Brittany was in a cab and on her way to the airport. But the date must go on! Ben gives the group date rose to Rachel and although one is now gone, another’s spot in the game is secured.

With Brittany gone, Lindzi is chosen to take her place on the intimate date the next day, which is pretty appropriate considering she and Ben seemed to have some genuine chemistry from the beginning. After a trolley ride where Ben introduced her to the famous spots the city had to offer, it was off to city hall, with, yes, the key to the city, for a private concert by platinum recording artist Matt Nathanson. Very thoughtful, very intimate, a little cheesy but, nonetheless, they both enjoyed their private dance session. The night was complete once Ben took Lindzi to a speakeasy themed lounge where he gave her the final date rose of the week. Absolutely nothing could ruin this wonderful week for Lindzi, right? Her words, not mine.

When all is well, The Bachelor feels the need to stir things up to keep the audience on edge and it came in the form of Shawntel Newton. Shawntel was a previous contestant on Brad Womack’s season of The Bachelor, was eventually dumped by him, and came to the bizarre revelation that she would make a wonderful match for Ben. So, what does the show do? Brings her aboard! Why the hell not? Saying the competing women were pissed about a stranger showing up is putting it mildly. After all, they’ve been here from the start, putting in the foot work with Ben, and Shawntel could be the factor that ultimately gets someone eliminated in the end. If she gets past the rose ceremony, that is. A few of the girls threaten to walk if Shawntel is handed a rose while others cry out tears of frustration and, in Erika’s case, almost pass out completely under pressure. With one rose left, Erika, Jaclyn, and Shawntel eagerly waited to hear who would get their paws on that last symbol of ultimate security but in a strange turn of events, Ben couldn’t even muster up the balls to hand it out. With no rose, you’re automatically ousted from the competition so all three were sent packing. Ben’s too nice of a guy and way to worried about hurting anyone’s feelings, which is admirable, but I feel like that is going to be his downfall if he doesn’t put his foot down once in a while. As quickly as the storm rolled in, it rolled right out and in the case of Shawntel, at least Ben did something right that evening.

Season 16, Episode 3: Week 3 (originally aired January 16, 2011)

Images courtesy of ABC.

One good thing about Grey’s Anatomy is that the writers always manage to include a degree of realism.  There are all sorts of interesting medical anomalies that can befall the average person, at any time. It might seem far-fetched, but it makes for good television and it’s technically possible.  Thursday’s episode of Grey’s Anatomy featured conjoined twins and an opportunity for the doctors of Seattle Grace to distinguish themselves from their counterparts.

It was all hands on deck as the doctors worked to separate the twins in a career-defining procedure.  It’s a “peeds” case, so Arizona (Jessica Capshaw)is front and center, but all of the alpha personalities are present, including Webber and Sheperd.  They practice the surgery numerous times on dolls before the actual procedure.  Arizona finds it difficult to defer to her colleagues, and eventually Callie has to firmly put her in her place.  The surgery is ultimately a success, but there were some interpersonal bumps along the way.

Karev (Justin Chambers) has loads of pediatric experience and has worked with Arizona extensively.  He should’ve had the inside track on the surgery, but he allowed Webber to psych him out.  His mistake during the practice sessions cost him a role in the surgery.  After the twin girls were successfully separated, one of the babies went into kidney failure.  Karev came up with the idea of taking a kidney from the baby’s sibling, and Arizona was going to let him scrub in.  While scrubbing in, Webber (James Pickens Jr.) manages to get in Alex’s head AGAIN, and guilts him into giving up the surgery.  Webber feigned disappointment and regret at feeling like his career was on the downswing, so Karev gave up his spot out of sympathy.

Meanwhile, Webber knew exactly what he was doing by playing upon his sympathy.  He basically yelled “gotcha!”  I felt bad that Alex was duped.  He rarely shows kindness to his counterparts, and I think the fact that Webber is former Chief Resident played a large role in his decision.  Later, Webber acts as if his betrayal was intended to be a teachable moment – but I thought it was a dirty trick and that Webber was above that sort of behavior.

Derek and Meredith are settling into their roles as parents, and couldn’t be happier.  Unfortunately, the same can’t be said for Cristina, Teddy, or Lexie.  Teddy is understandably grappling with Henry’s death.  She hasn’t taken any time off and is still performing surgeries.  She is subjecting Cristina (Sandra Oh) to the torture of reliving Henry’s death over and over by repeatedly asking her to describe what happened in the O.R. in painstaking detail.  Whenever she is summoned, Cristina finds Teddy and dutifully recites what happened, always ending with the time of death.  It’s almost as if Teddy is looking for someone to blame, but eventually she obtains a modicum of closure and accepts Cristina’s medical explanation.  It will be difficult, but now maybe she can begin to heal.  The same can’t be said for Lexie, who can’t seem to get over Mark even though he has a new girlfriend.  I think she was crazy for dumping Avery, but I guess it was for the best if her feelings weren’t true.

Best of the episode: A successful surgery for the conjoined twins.

Worst of the episode: Webber’s double-crossing.

What to look for next: Trouble on the home front as Owen and Cristina bump heads.

Season 8, Episode 11: “This Magic Moment” (original air date January 12, 2012.)

Grey’s Anatomy airs Thursdays at 9/8c on ABC.

Images courtesy of ABC and Kelsey McNeal.

It was a loooong two hour episode of The Bachelor last night as eighteen remaining single ladies put on a smile and attempted any task asked of them in hopes of  being given the ultimate symbol of acceptance at the end of the day: the almighty rose.

California wine maker Ben Flajnik brought the bachelorettes to his home town of Sonoma this week to really drill in how important his family roots are to him. Also, it was a great way to take a few girls out on dates and judge just how well each of them blended in with the peaceful, small town atmosphere, given the fact that Ben’s number one pick in the end could potentially be living there with him (fingers crossed this time around). One lucky girl that Ben wanted to get to spend a little one on one time with was Kacie B., who received the very first rose of the evening and was safe from elimination at the upcoming rose ceremony. The pair hit the sleepy wine town and talked about local history, did a little piano playing, and had a basic introduction to baton twirling (Kacie’s hidden talent) before heading off for a thoughtfully romantic dinner. Although it seemed like a full date night, Ben still had one last thing in store for Kacie. It was off to the Sebastiani Theater, where Kacie was treated to a private viewing of childhood home videos of herself, and later of Ben. At first, it seemed a bit strange to me because if I were Kacie B., the first thing I’d think to myself would be, “Where did you get these from, Creep-o?” but Ben was just again trying to reiterate how important family, especially the influence of his father, was to him and that seemed to resonate well with Kacie. Overall, the date was A-plus and Kacie left with a rose in hand.

Meanwhile, at the bachelorettes’ lair, the girls bitched about being left out and about how much valuable time they were losing getting to know Ben. However, they’re absolutely right to think that since, after all, this is a competition and the time to make yourself memorable in such a fierce arena is extremely limited. During Ben and Kacie’s outing, a “date card” showed up at the house, announcing which ladies would be joining the bachelor for a group date the following day. Eleven women were selected, leaving the small group of excluded girls feeling scorned.

The next day, the specially selected girls were asked to put on their acting hats and act childish in a new kind of way. Some kids from a local community-based theater group created their own special play just for the bachelor and his suitorettes that involved such epic characters as weasels, gingerbread men, and dragons. After an awkward audition full of pig oinking, “sexy dancing,” and Blakley’s nearly R-rated Baywatch inspired slow motion jogging sequence, the girls put on a theater production for the tiny California town. The girls seemed to have no qualms with making fools of themselves on stage as long as each of their promised kissing scenes with Prince Pinot were fulfilled.

That evening, Ben and his co-stars had a cocktail soiree back at the house to spend some more serious time with the girls, but what happened was just the start of a shit storm of drama. The busty Blakely was more than determined to get the teasing rose on a silver platter that was staring everyone in the face all night and that she did. Her aggressive techniques are freaking all the girls out and some of them just can’t seem to deal with it, so, they cry about it. What’s funny is that at this point Ben is under the impression that everyone is a fan of Blakely and that, naively, everything is serene in Bachelor Town. Silly Ben, let’s wake up. Most of these girls would sooner sell their own mothers into slavery before letting another fellow competitor push them out of this contest. What’s sad is that only a small handful of the bachelorettes are actually being their genuine selves.

One of the more seemingly disingenuous in particular is Courtney, the model from Los Angeles. She received her own personal date card from Ben that read, “Courtney, let’s spin the bottle…”, which visibly rocked a few of the housemates. The next day, the two had a private picnic with Ben’s little Jack Russell terrier and further discussed the importance of family. Courtney put on her game face during the date for sure and flowed naturally with Ben, despite her critical private interviews about the other women that would have led you to believe she’s more on the high-maintenance side. Not to mention, this chick is slowly becoming everyone’s number two enemy, right after Blakely. Ben fell for Courtney, however, and yet another girl was safe from elimination.

The big cocktail party before the final rose ceremony of the episode brought on the drama full force as all eyes fell on Blakely who just could not separate herself from Ben. Every time he pulled one of the ladies aside to have a chat, Blakely showed up. Every corner Ben turned, Blakely showed up. The whole debacle, which needless to say managed to piss off an entire party of women, quickly went from cute to scary stalker. Yikes! Elegance and poise is key here, Blakely, my dear, so reel it in a little! What happened soon after was embarrassing for women everywhere when Blakely caught wind of the other girls’ complaints of her and was sent running for the hills. Not really the hills, but the corner of the luggage room where she crouched in the fetal position and had a good cry. The fun didn’t stop there when Jenna, our favorite overanalyzing head case, had a sputtering and practically incoherent conversation with Ben. The spazz attack had her racing to her bedroom where she put herself to bed, right in the middle of the party, and cried. Ben, who had been just an easy going and completely oblivious guy the whole time, finally wised up to how stressed out the girls were getting and had to retrieve the missing drama queens from their holes. Talk about a cocktail party from hell!

Thank God the rose ceremony was next because it was beginning to get a little crowded in Sonoma. Two roses had already been handed out earlier and now thirteen roses were up for grabs, meaning two ladies would be kicking rocks back to their home towns. Many of the bachelorettes were relieved, including Jennifer, Emily, and Brittany, to name a few. Jenna and Shawn were not so lucky. Shawn didn’t make much of an impact on Ben evidently, but Jenna sure did and after her bizarre ways of trying to express herself, everything was just lost in translation. This boy has his hands full and I just hope the mild mannered bachelor can find his way through this mess of crazy ladies.

Season 16, Episode 2: “Week 2″ (originally aired January 9, 2012)

The Bachelor airs Mondays at 8/7c on ABC.

Images courtesy of Ron Koeberer/ABC

The writers of Once Upon a Time make it so hard to choose sides, because with each glimpse of backstory we learn how little we really know about these characters. We assume the Queen (Lana Parrilla) is bad, but there’s the small matter of what Snow White (Ginnifer Goodwin) did to her that was apparently a Terrible Awful. Rumplestilskin? Terrifying. Except what if he has a heartbreaking past full of regrets that makes us feel like maybe there’s still some good inside him?

Deep inside, but still.

As the writers reveal more and more about who these people were before, it colors what we believe they’re capable of now, whether it’s good or evil or – as in real life – usually somewhere in between.

This week we did get a rather sad tale of the origin of Rumplestilskin (Robert Carlyle), a wool farmer shunned by his wife and village after he deserted the army during an ogre battle. Now the wars are revived, and the local overlord is staffing his army with children fourteen and over. As his son’s birthday draws near, Rumplestilskin is desperate to save the only person he has left in the world – by any means necessary. Because of his desperation, a mysterious and powerful Black Knight, tired of paying the price for his magic, is able to trick our favorite trickster into releasing him by stealing his magic for himself. Rumplestilskin now has the power to save his boy, but he looses his sanity, his morality, and his life in the process.

In Storybrooke, Regina fires Emma (Jennifer Morrison) in the wake of the Sheriff’s death, claiming she has the power to appoint a replacement. She wants to instill a puppet regime (surprise), but Mr. Gold comes to Emma with a copy of the town charter and a plan. Despite warnings from Henry (Jared Gilmore), who has given up his “Operation Cobra” because he believes good can’t beat evil since evil plays dirty, Emma accepts help from the pawn shop owner with an obvious agenda of his own.

Though he’s still filthy and underhanded, with his backstory there’s enough dimension to his character now that I wonder if maybe he’s on the right side after all. Or is there a right side? Can we even know that for sure yet?

While Emma fights the good fight, her unexpected ally makes some questionable moves like setting fire to the mayor’s house so Emma can be photographed saving her life, and putting Emma in a position to stand up to him in public. Basically, our hero now owes Mr. Gold/Rumplestilskin a couple of favors, as though one isn’t bad enough.

I adored this episode. Villains aren’t worth having if they don’t have substance, if part of you doesn’t feel a little bit badly about the life that’s led them to the place they are now. Rumplestilskin is a terrifying bad guy, ever so much worse than the Queen, and the stories hold precious few facts about where he came from and what he wants. We now understand the answer to those questions a little bit better, and for the first time glimpse the reason he’s so interested in other people’s children.

Also worth mentioning: David (a.k.a. Prince Charming) (Josh Dallas) looked ridiculously adorable in a cap, and is obviously still conflicted about his feelings for Mary Margaret (Snow White). They are my favorite overarching storyline, and I can already tell the episode in which they realize who they are is going to plaster a smile on my face for days.

I’m loving this show. The writing and imagination are superb, and though they are messing a little with our beloved fairy tales, they’re not, in my opinion, crossing any holy boundaries. For the most part, they’re answering questions we’ve all had and filling in holes with their rather intriguing ideas of what might have been.

Hansel and Gretel make an appearance next week, and we know Beauty and the Beast (with Emilie de Ravin as Belle!) are coming up this season. What are you most excited to see on this show? Are the new twists igniting your imagination or ruining the tales of your childhood?

Check out another take on this popular new show, Every Little Thing is Magic, by Inisia Lewis

Season 1, Episode 8 “Desperate Souls” (original airdate January 8, 2011)

Once Upon a Time airs Sunday nights at 8/7c on ABC.

Images courtesy of Jack Rowand and ABC

Once upon a time, in a TV land not so far away, there was a little show all the critics claimed would fail. Yet, 2011 has come to a close and looking back, ABC’s Once Upon a Time was one of the breakout hits, becoming TV’s highest rated new drama of the season. Who would have ever thought it? Well…except for me, of course! Once Upon a Time seemed so out there, so far-fetched in concept, it just never could work. Fairytales, time jumping and memory loss, what else could they have thrown into the pot? It wasn’t inviting to a large enough audience. Yet, it works. It really works.

The show takes our love for fairytales and our desire for happy endings and turns it on its head. This time, instead of the prince saving the princess and living happily ever after, we get to find out what the ever after actually entailed. Unfortunately, in this universe, we also get to see what happens when a vengeful evil queen decides to suspend all those happily ever afters.

To simplify things, the past will be known as the Fairy Tale Land that we’ve all come to know and love through stories, and the present as Storybrooke, the “special” town where all our favorite characters are trapped. In the past, the Evil Queen (Lana Parrilla), hell-bent on getting revenge for some past transgression yet to be fully revealed, curses Snow White (Ginnifer Goodwin), Prince Charming (James)/David (I’m glad they cleared that up because I always though Prince Charming was always the same person and ergo a womanizer but couldn’t that have stuck with one first name) and their unborn child.  Rumpelstiltskin (Robert Carlyle) prophesies that the Queen’s curse will bring all the people in Fairy Tale Land to someplace horrible, but Snow White’s unborn daughter will return in 28 years to battle the Queen and save them all. With this tip, Geppetto creates a magic tree which would save one person from the Queen’s curse. It was meant to be a pregnant Snow White, but when she goes into labor early, it has to be only her newborn, Emma.

Jump to the present, where we meet Emma Swan (Jennifer Morrison), a lonely bail bondsman. An adorably precocious ten-year-old Henry (Jared Gilmore) finds her and claims to be the son she gave up for adoption as a teen. As she drives him home, he continues to insist that everyone in his big book of fairytales are real and living in his town with no memory of their true identities. In fact, Emma is the daughter of Prince Charming (Josh Dallas) and Snow White! To the viewer, this confirms that somehow the Queen of the past has won, but would the straight-laced Emma ever believe him or care enough to stick around and figure out what’s going on in the strange little town? Having grown up in the foster system, feeling family-less her whole life, her biological son, Henry, proves to be the catalyst that ties Emma to the town and keeps her at odds with its malicious mayor, Regina, a.k.a The Evil Queen, Henry’s adoptive mother.

Just a tad bit confusing, right? But oh so intriguing. What’s so great about the show is that it’s a dark soap opera but it’s mixed with a light, beautiful nostalgia. It has deep, intrinsic elements of sci-fi and fantasy, but at its heart it’s a family show, leaving us with little nuggets of moral values. Adam Horowitz and Edward Kitsis, executive producers and creators, also worked on Lost, and clearly learned a thing or two from that morally intertwined, fantasy show. Plus, we all love a good mystery. Though no one can remember their past lives, they all seem to retain their personalities. The fun, for us, is learning what happened in their past and going on the journey with them as they figure out who they truly are in the present. Emma, Henry or both seem integral in helping “awaken” their true selves.

So far, we’ve learned about how Snow White/Mary Margaret Blanchard met her Prince, Ashley/Cinderella made a terrible deal made with Mr. Gold/Rumpelstiltskin (he makes a lot of those), Archie Hopper/Jiminy Cricket finding his conscience, and Sheriff Graham/The Huntsman and his connection to Snow and the Queen. All their storylines connect seamlessly between the past and present, each informing the other timeline. As a writer, it must be an extremely difficult thing to do. Yet, I’ve found very little to harp on when it comes to continuity. And, as proven in the midseason finale, they’re not afraid to kill a beloved main character.

In terms of acting, the standouts are Goodwin, Parrilla and Carlyle, making it easier to forgive the oft-wooden Morrison. Goodwin plays the earnest and kind Mary well, while shifting easily to Snow who is more headstrong though just as compassionate as her counterpart. Parrilla is just so darn bitter and ruthless. What is her true motivation? We’ve learned that Snow, who turned out to be her stepdaughter in the past, somehow took away her ability to have love in her life, but why and exactly how? She seems to be one of two who have any idea of Fairy Tale Land, but in the present, is she actually fully conscience of what she’s done? Is this her happily ever after, cause she seems almost as unhappy as everyone else? Either way, I’d be scared to come across her on a red carpet, though I’m sure Parrilla is as lovely as can be. And Carlyle hasn’t yet let me down in any role he’s played in film or television. His character of Rumpelstiltskin/Mr. Gold is the most interesting, cunning and deceptive. What are his motivations? He is the other who appears to understand that this is not the world they’re originally from. He doesn’t seem to be working for Regina and has his own agenda, but does he just want to wreak havoc on the world or is there some other end game?

But enough about the past and present! The future will bring us Hansel and Gretel, Belle and even more. Once Upon a Time’s most impressive quality is that it is entirely unique. There’s nothing on the television landscape like it now or what’s come before. We’re so used to procedural shows and formulas that we forget how enticing something utterly new is, even if it’s not typically up our alley. That’s why the show remains one of my tops for 2011 and hopefully 2012. With an wholly enchanting backdrop, intriguing characters to meet and further develop and a deep mythology to pull from and build upon, there’s so much story left in this book.

Once Upon a Time returns to ABC on Sunday, Jan. 8 at 8/7c.

Images courtesy of Kharen Hill/ABC.

By January, the nightly TV landscape looks rather different than it did in the fall. Some shows are gone too soon; some not quick enough. Some have been shuffled to a new timeslot, and some are gearing up for their first impression. The fall season brought a lot of new favorite shows to the frontlines of my color-coded viewing schedule, including The CW’s fish-out-of-water dramedy Hart of Dixie and ABC’s addictive new soap Revenge. Now, networks are rolling out the midseason replacements, a lot of which seem to have some serious star power and potential. Before they hit the small screen, I wanted to share my five favorite new and returning shows from the spring line-up.

New Shows to Fall In Love With:

Are You There, Chelsea?

(January 11 on NBC)

Based on comedian Chelsea Handler’s similarly-titled best seller Are You There, Vodka? It’s Me, Chelsea, NBC aptly decided to retool various parts of this sitcom pilot before bringing it to the schedule. Ripe with potential, the series follows New Jersey waitress Chelsea Newman (That 70’s Show’s Laura Prepon) navigating the quirky, drunken parts of her 20-something journey of self-discovery. Some moments of the pilot are lifted straight from the book, which account for the instant attraction many viewers will probably have for the project. Prepon makes for a great lead and, with Handler in a guest role as her uptight sister Sloane, I’d be shocked at this point if the series disappointed fans of the source material. Though, pairing it with the network’s much-maligned Whitney probably isn’t doing it any favors.

Alcatraz

(January 16 on FOX)

It seems like anything bearing the preface “From Executive Producer J.J. Abrams” instantly lands on everyone’s must-watch list. In reality, we know Abrams isn’t steering the boat on most of these series, but he and the Bad Robot team have created a serial drama with some serious potential in Alcatraz. Starring Sam Neill and Jorge Garcia of Lost fame, the story follows a homicide with unexpected ties to lead investigator Rebecca’s (Sarah Jones) family history with the infamous titular prison. The story is set to unravel over the season, with many twists and turns no doubt in store to both intrigue and frustrate the viewing audience. With so few serialized stories on television anymore, this one is definitely worth taking a chance on.

GCB

(March 4 on ABC)

The formerly-titled Good Christian Belles was a watered-down version of the source book’s Good Christian Bitches, so I’m not really sure what this one stands for today…or why initials were needed at all. This series, which may or may not be helped by its post-Desperate Housewives timeslot, follows former It-Girl Amanda (the ever on-the-verge Leslie Bibb), newly divorced and forced to return to her Texas hometown, children in tow, and move in with her mother (Annie Potts). Amanda tries to start a new life, having grown a lot since her high school days, but it seems like the local ladies, lead by Kristin Chenoweth, won’t let her forget about the Queen Bitch she used to be. Bibb is a great lead, balanced with a sprawling supporting cast. Fun and light-heartedly soapy, the series reminds me of the addictive first season of Desperate Housewives without the murder mystery.

Smash

(February 6 on NBC)

If you’ve even in passing compared this heavily-promoted new drama series to Glee in your head, toss out that line of thinking now. Smash is kind of a refreshing surprise. It’s a grounded story with places to go that happens to feature a certain amount of singing. The series follows writing team Tom (Christian Borle) and Julia (Debra Messing) setting out to bring a musical adaptation of the life and times of Marilyn Monroe to the stage. One of their initial casting decisions comes down to two actresses: the seasoned actress needing a shot at a lead role played by Broadway vet Megan Hilty, and the charming young newcomer trying to catch a break played by Katharine McPhee. The supporting players include Angelica Huston as the fiery producer, Jack Davenport as the womanizing director and the just announced Bernadette Peters and Uma Thurman in major arcs for the season. Judging from the pilot, Smash isn’t just a show about dreams, but about the sacrifices people make to achieve them.

Apartment 23

(TBD on ABC)

It is absolutely criminal that this series hasn’t found a spot on the schedule yet! Starring Dreama Walker as June, a girl who initially moves to NYC with the perfect job, loft and boyfriend. When she suddenly finds herself without any of the above, however, June needs to find a new apartment quickly so she can get things back on track. The one she finds comes with the seemingly-perfect roommate, Chloe, played to perfection by Krysten Ritter. Chloe is funny, glamorous and carefree, and just so happens to be best friends with former Dawson’s Creek star James Van Der Beek, playing a hilarious fictional take on himself. But, Chloe may also be a little crazy, and have earned the title of “the Bitch in Apartment 23” from at least one other building tenant. This series, which might seem a little repetitive in concept after the success of the fall-launched comedies New Girl and 2 Broke Girls is likely to appeal to the same audience…if it ever makes it on the air. The network’s promised a spring launch, but ABC’s on a comedy roll right now and primed to bring back returning series Cougar Town. Still, when it finally does hit the screen, drop what you’re doing and tune in.

Returning Favorites to Enjoy:

Being Human

(January 16 on Syfy)

Husband and wife writing team Jeremy Carver and Anna Fricke adapted the BBC Three series of the same name for Syfy last winter and won over a lot of pensive fans, myself included. The first season, which follows the misadventures of a ghost, werewolf and vampire who live together in Boston striving to be normal, was a healthy mix of stories from its parent series and new material. Dollhouse’s Dichen Lachman joins the show after the death of Mark Pellegrino’s Bishop, set to stir up some vampire trouble for Aidan (Sam Witwer). The chemistry between the three leads, which includes Witwer and the hilarious duo Meaghan Rath and Sam Huntington, is real enough to make even the most cynical of viewers look past the far-fetched concept and see the real story underneath.

White Collar

(January 17 on USA)

So, this is technically just the second half of the third season, but the show’s been gone for several months. Plus, White Collar is probably the most fun you’ll have with an hour of scripted television on the air today. When we last left off, Neal (Matthew Bomer) was having second thoughts about cashing in the stolen treasure from the Nazi sub and running off. It had already cost him a relationship with Sarah (Hilarie Burton) and was putting a strain on his partnership with Peter (Tim DeKay). Agent Burke also has even bigger problems at the moment, with his wife Elizabeth (Tiffani Thiessen) having just been kidnapped and held ransom.  This one’s always a surprise, but I’m really interested to see where the Neal/Peter game goes now. Can Neal go legit? Can Peter look past his one, last con? Is Elizabeth really the criminal mastermind behind it all? Probably not for the latter, but I like to think so.

Merlin

(January 6 on Syfy)

While admittedly not for everyone, this BBC One import is really a campy, fun time for fans of the Arthurian legend. Now in its fourth season, the Smallville-esque reimagining of the adventures of Arthur (Bradley James) and Merlin (Colin Morgan) follows Arthur’s ascension to the throne and early days as ruler of Camelot. With a newly-minted set of nights, a fan favorite character who returns with a big twist, and the will-they-or-won’t-they romance of the king and Gwen (Angel Coulby), this is the best arc yet. I’d be neglectful not to acknowledge the looming threat of the delightfully evil Katie McGrath as Morgana, who continues her quest for the throne as well. Think of this one as a contemporary cousin of the 1960s Batman series, with a much higher production value and strong dose of British charm.

Spartacus: Vengeance

(January 27 on Starz)

Spartacus is not a show for small children, to watch with your mother, the faint of heart, or anyone easily offended. It’s bloody, brutal, sex-filled and all kinds of awesome. In the first season of this swords and sandals epic, the late Andy Whitfield played the titular slave as he led a rebellion against his masters, effectively freeing his gladiator brothers who pledged to take the fight to Rome. Earlier in 2011, a prequel series flashed back before those events to introduce another hero, Gannicus (Dustin Clare), who fought his way to freedom through more standard means. Now entering its third season, I’ll be watching closely to see where the series heads. Liam McIntyre takes over the title role and, rejoined by the survivors of the first season blood bath, seems set to encounter the somehow still-living Lucretia (Lucy Lawless), whose grip on sanity in the promos seems slim at best. Beyond the stunning visuals and gory violence, the dialogue for this show is like nothing I’ve ever heard before. It’s a touch of Shakespeare, blended with Sorkin-esque pacing and density, and a contemporary flavor that makes it just accessible enough for you to wish we conversed this way today.

Mad Men

(March 16 on AMC)

We’ve been tragically deprived of this often imitated but never duplicated show for over a year now. But, come March, the fifth season of the four-time Emmy winner for Best Drama series will finally be back. Mad Men, for the uninitiated, is set in the 1960s chronicling the family and work life of Don Draper (Jon Hamm) and his associates at a Madison Avenue advertising firm. Genius writing that plays on some serious quiet moments, matched with cinema-worthy production value and stellar performances from a cast that includes multiple award nominees Hamm, John Slattery, Elizabeth Moss, January Jones and the incomparable Christina Hendricks, make this the flagship series for the AMC network, already known as the home of some of the best shows on television. The previous season ended with new beginnings for a lot of the characters, and I for one can’t wait to finally see where those roads lead. If you haven’t taken the plunge, there’s plenty of time to catch up on the first four brilliant seasons before diving into new episodes this spring.

What new or returning midseason shows are you excited for?

Images courtesy of NBCUniversal, Starz, AMC, and USA Network.

2011 was quite the year in entertainment. Ricky Gervais hosted the Golden Globes, and his shameless ability to attack anyone still has folks talking – enough to ask him back in 2012. Charlie Sheen thought he was #winning and in fact he was unraveling, yet still managed to pull in a new show and more cash, though not a Two and a Half Men-size boatload. Prince William and Kate Middleton married while billions watched.  Other marriages, however, fell apart – Demi and Ashton, JLo and Marc Anthony, Aaaaarnold and Maria Shriver. If you could call it a marriage, Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries wed for a whopping 72 days. Adele, 21 and that killer voice took over the airwaves and took award shows by storm. Regis and Oprah left the daytime talk circuit after decades of making viewers laugh and cry, respectively. Mad Men who? The four-time Emmy winning show stayed off the air an entire calendar year. “South Park” creators made a Mormon book all the rage on Broadway. RIP Amy Winehouse, Elizabeth Taylor, Steve Jobs and Patrice O’Neal. We managed to survive no more “Harry Potter” books, and now we must go on without any new Harry Potter films. What a year it was!

It’s inevitable that some great shows, actors and moments will be left off this list which is part of the reason I wanted to focus on superlatives instead of a top ten. (Much easier to choose.) And of course, not everyone will agree with my opinion, but if we were all attending the Nisi School of TV, this is what the superlatives page in the yearbook would look like.

CONGRATULATIONS TO THE CLASS OF 2011

BEST BOW-OUT: Friday Night Lights
About so much more than just a sport, FNL brought rich, real characters to our screens, dealing with everyday life in a small community that just happened to really, really love football, and focusing on a family who truly cared for the town and the teens growing up in it – even though they didn’t always get the same respect back. I cherished that final FNL football game; its story told mostly in silence. And though I often hate flashforwards, I would have felt cheated if we weren’t left with a sense of where our beloved characters ended up. (Eight months down the line in this case.) The Taylors, of course, moved on to the next stage in their lives…outside of Texas. Footballers came and went (some leaving more lasting impression than others) but, luckily for the residents of Dillon, Texas, Coach, Mrs. Coach and the Taylor family always remained, even if only in spirit. “Clear eyes, full hearts, can’t lose.”

BIGGEST LETDOWN: NBC/ABC execs for curbing Community and Cougar Town
It should be an easy choice. The Playboy Club/Charlie’s Angels both relegated women to boring and useless, though beautiful, archetypes. There was something exciting about an edgier reboot of Charlie’s Angels, but it turned out to be wholly no fun at all. The Playboy Club had a lot of cotton tail and no substance. But the true tragedy above all? NBC/ABC execs curbing the return of Community and Cougar Town. Somehow they let drivel make it to air, but left their most unique and actually funny comedies on the bench.

BEST TRANSPORT: Downton Abbey
Where did this Reading Rainbow network come from, bringing us Masterpieces like Sherlock, and now Downton Abbey? Set in the unsettling early 1900s, since never has the aristocracy and their servants with their romance issues and financial problems been so interesting, mysterious, dramatic and funny.

BEST KEPT SECRET: Fringe
Much like Community was last year (and this year), there’s still little award love, and viewership continues to dwindle for this sci-fi gem. In my eyes, the storytelling and acting have only gotten better, more fascinating, and more unique with each season. John Noble continues to imbed mad scientist Walter with a deep sense of pain and struggle, not only due to his professional life, but his personal life as well. Joshua Jackson is effortless as Peter, a man trying to straddle a life strongly tied to two separate universes, and Anna Torv plays about a million Olivias, and I notice the infinitesimal differences. There are systematic shows, and there are innovative shows, and Fringe is the latter, pushing viewers to think outside the box, while always showing them a good time.

DRAMA QUEENS: Constance (Jessica Lange)  from American Horror Story and Victoria Grayson (Madeleine Stowe) from Revenge
Typically, I’d throw a “king” into the mix, but this was the TV season for women. See the success of New Girl, 2 Broke Girls, Revenge and Once Upon a Time just to name a few. These shows are helmed by strong women, so sorry boys. It’s time to take a back seat. I wish I could pick them all, but these two standouts aren’t even leads (though certain award shows may think differently.) You never know when Constance (American Horror Story) is going to pop up, invading a house that’s no longer hers, or what’s going to come out of her mouth. Most likely it will offend somebody. Victoria Grayson, is quite the opposite, calculated with what she shares and how she’s perceived. Don’t be fooled though. She can appear very silent, but also extremely deadly at the same time. Best of all, these women are at the center of their show’s deep mysteries.

BEST COMEBACKS: Carrie Mathison (Claire Danes) and Nicholas Brody (Damian Lewis)
These two haven’t held down a TV series since 1995 (My So-Called Life) and 2009 (Life), respectively, but boy do I wonder how I wasn’t missing these two on screen after such fantastic performances of the equally tortured CIA agent and POW/possible terrorist in Homeland. Carrie and Nicholas should both be seeing a therapist every episode, Tony Soprano-style; that’s how messed up they are. Yet both are also extremely charismatic and intelligent. It’s quite the balancing act for an actor. Add in the 24-level intensity of espionage and terrorism, and it’s a whole different layer of mental taxation. Still, Danes and Lewis appear less like actors during their performances and more like normal people wearing a second, almost sheer, skin of a character.

VILLAINS YOU LOVE TO HATE: The Bennett Family
I’m absolutely Justified (too corny?) in adoring this backwater, racist, drug-toting mom and brood. The Bennett family could murder a man and adopt his daughter, make and deal with a man and then poison him, or beat on each other, and it would only make me love Mags, Coover, Doyle and Dickie more. The clan stuck by their own and against anyone who would do anything to take them down or break them apart. You’ve got to, at least, respect them. If not, just shut up and drink your Apple Pie moonshine.

BIGGEST CRAZE RUN AMOK: Charlie Sheen Mania
Part of me wanted to vomit over the 24-hour obsession with the breakdown of a sad, talented man and another (very small) part of me couldn’t help but join in, eyes unable to tear away from the train wreck. A man with Goddesses sounds like a man with it all, but then he lost his job, his huge paycheck and his goddesses. He could barely sell out a “supposedly” already sold out show. He sat through an extremely awkward Roast, and even more awkwardly, wished his old co-workers and replacement well while presenting at the Emmy’s. There. Was. Nothing. Right. About. ANY. Of. This. MADNESS.

BIGGEST REALITY UPSET: The Jersey Shore…in Italy.
Enough said, but I just can’t keep my mouth shut on this one. It’s like Saved by the Bell going to college. Hello! There are no bells! It just doesn’t make sense. Italy didn’t want them, they certainly didn’t need them, and the cast appeared to hate every moment of their highly overpaid vacation. I couldn’t tell if they were avoiding socializing with the locals or vice versa.

BEST CROSSOVER: Game of Thrones
Westeros is a land full of intrigue, double play, sex, war and revenge and the list goes on and on. So it was no surprise that fans worried how George R. R. Martin’s dense, dialogue-rich and character/plotline-heavy “A Song of Fire and Ice” series would translate on screen. The answer: earnestly and beautifully. In fact, AWESOMELY!

OTHER WINNERS INCLUDE:
BIGGEST BREAKOUT: Melissa McCarthy (Mike & Molly) and Peter Dinklage (Game of Thrones)
TIGHTEST CLIQUE: Happy Endings crew
CUTEST COUPLE: Kurt and Blaine (Glee)
BEST COMEBACK: Sarah Michelle Gellar. Ringer may be not so good, but she came back…twice!
PERSON I WISH HAD BEEN MY HIGH SCHOOL BFF : Jenna Hamilton from Awkward.(Ashley Richards)
MOST ANTICIPATED 2011 RETURN: AGAIN! Anything AMC (Breaking Bad, Mad Men, The Walking Dead). These folks sure know how to do a mind-whacking cliffhangers.
2011 TELEVISION MVP: The ladies of TV, of course.

WRAP IT UP
The holidays are upon us, and if this fantastic year of television isn’t something to celebrate, then I don’t know what is. Do you think Charlie Sheen will find success and stability in 2012? Is it possible to have too many reality singing competitions? Will next year be less about the estrogen and all about the testosterone? What mid-season show are you most excited to watch in 2012? Are You There, Chelsea?, Smash, Alcatraz or something else? Sound off below. I can’t wait to hear your 2011 superlatives and 2012 hopes. Until next year!

Images courtesy of CBS, NBC, and Showtime.

Last week’s episode of Grey’s Anatomy was pretty intense.  There were multiple storylines that had my heart in my throat.  As a matter of fact, it was one of the more heart-breaking episodes we’ve had in a while.

For the past few weeks Meredith and Derek have tried to regain custody of Zola in the aftermath of Meredith’s monumental lapse in judgment when she interfered with Derek’s Alzheimer’s trial.  I wonder if she would make the same decision if she had it to do all over again.  I thought things were looking up for them after Alex managed to wrangle a hearing for them in front of a judge; but the social worker notified Meredith that their journey is over.  It’s a crushing blow to the couple, and it looks like Meredith is giving up on the idea of motherhood, at least for now.  Derek feels like he pushed her into the decision and is now afraid of losing Meredith.

Meanwhile, Henry (Scott Foley) has been admitted with very serious complications.  He’s always been ill, but his recent respite probably made Teddy forget just how grave his condition can be.  They have been blissful, but his health troubles threaten to ruin their happiness. He needs to have the tumors surrounding his lungs removed, and Webber doesn’t know how to perform the surgery with a laser, which would be most efficient.  Understandably, he doesn’t want his first time to be on his colleague’s husband.  Teddy has performed the procedure before, but of course she can’t operate on her spouse. That leaves Cristina, who Teddy is confident can perform the procedure just as she would.  They recently performed an identical surgery, and Cristina is the only one who can do it.  Webber is on board, but Owen is hesitant.  As Chief Resident and Cristina’s husband, he thinks the stakes are too high. They all agree that if they can conceal Henry’s identity from Cristina, she should be able to perform the surgery dispassionately and successfully.

While this very intense storyline is at the forefront, there are two other nail-biters playing out.  Callie and Jackson (Jesse Williams) must come to terms with a costly patient error.  A patient who had spinal surgery is near death because one of the screws they inserted in her spine is poking through her heart.  Jackson is still a resident, and he’s going to make mistakes.  Callie makes him feel like he screwed up royally, and he did – but it’s her job to oversee him.  Maybe if she wasn’t reading a magazine while he was operating, she would have noticed something.

Meredith also deals with a patient in dire straits.  She hasn’t had long to think about Zola when Arizona calls her into action. She and Alex must travel to a nearby urgent care center to transport a newborn baby needing surgery.  The weather is terrible, and the ambulance breaks down before they return with the baby.  She needs her tubes and incubator, but it is dangerous for them to remain in the broken down vehicle on a poorly lit road in a thunderstorm.  The paramedic leaves on foot while Meredith and Alex quibble about what to do.  Their ambulance is struck by an oncoming vehicle, and we see the accident from their perspective, in the inside of the ambulance.  They are thrown against the ambulance wall as the vehicle appears to flip over.  Great. Just we need.  The umpteenth tragedy.  My anxiety was eventually alleviated, as Meredith and Alex emerge from the accident largely unscathed.  It looked bad initially, but when they step outside they see just how lucky they actually were.  Three lifeless bodies lay in the road – the occupants of the ill-fated vehicle that struck their ambulance.

Back at Seattle Grace, things take a turn for the worse.  Cristina (Sandra Oh) has no idea that Henry is the patient, so at first she’s all “been there done that” about it, but she ultimately does the best that she can during the surgery.  Things continue to go south and Webber has to intervene the old fashioned way and crack open Henry’s chest.  Their efforts prove futile, and Henry eventually dies on the table.  Webber gave it all he had, and Cristina did a fine job with the laser.  It wasn’t anyone’s fault, but they will have to tell Teddy that her husband is dead. In an awkward moment, Owen must pretend that Henry is still alive, because Teddy hasn’t finished her own surgery yet on the patient that Callie and Jackson botched.  The episode ends with Teddy still thinking that Henry pulled through.  How sad!!

This was another great episode.  Things haven’t been that intense in a while, and it was a reminder that Grey’s can be equally suspenseful as emotional.  I look forward to seeing if Derek and Meredith re-commit to starting a family or if they accept what has happened to them.  See you next week!

Season 8, Episode 9: Dark Was the Night (original air date November 10, 2011)

Grey’s Anatomy airs Thursdays at 9/8c on ABC.

Images courtesy of ABC and Jordan Althaus.

Much like Derek Shepherd, I’m here pinch hitting. I’ve never reviewed Grey’s Anatomy for Poptimal before, but I have been a faithful viewer since Season 2. I know. I didn’t watch Season 1. Sue me.

The gang is supposed to play a softball game against a rival hospital, and it came as no surprise (at least to me) that none of them are very good (or terribly interested) in playing. Meredith (Ellen Pompeo) and Cristina (Sandra Oh) get drunk in the outfield, Teddy begs for the chance to pitch, and everyone generally complains about how they have better places to be.

Except Mark (Eric Dane) who is busy making out with an eye doctor from the opposing team. If you’ll recall, last week Callie (Sara Ramirez) put the kibosh on him and Arizona’s (Jessica Capshaw) excessive bonding time in the kitchen. She told him he needed to start having sex again, and apparently he took her advice, which makes everyone happy.

Or almost everyone, because Lexie (Chyler Leigh) doesn’t seem to be enjoying it much at all.

Owen (Kevin McKidd) is struggling with the new chief position, and sees the softball game as a chance to bring his staff together as a team under his leadership.  He takes his coaching skills back to the hospital as well, putting them to good use when Derek (Patrick Dempsey) turns down a patient. A mother brings in her daughter (who has a brain tumor) and requests a standard procedure. Derek believes he can try something new and remove the entire tumor, giving the girl a life she never expected to have, but at a much higher risk. When the mother doesn’t want to gamble with her daughter’s life, Derek advises them to return home and get the standard surgery from any number of competent neurosurgeons.

Hunt disagrees, telling Derek “we don’t send people home. That’s not who we are. It’s not who you are.”

It seems the Zola situation is affecting Derek more than he lets on, even though he and Meredith have managed to maneuver their marriage at least somewhat back on track (still with the understanding they don’t talk about work.)

For her part, Meredith is still secretly helping with Bailey’s trial, unable to let her mother’s research go until she has figured it out. She does, but Bailey (Chandra Wilson) continues to be a hateful you-know-what about Meredith being anywhere near her lab. To be honest, this whole storyline bothers me, because it’s out of character for Bailey to be so unforgiving. Yes, everyone knows Meredith screwed up. But everyone forgave Izzy for way worse back in the day.

Their feud explodes on the baseball field, Meredith being drunk enough to ask Bailey what her problem is to her face. Ex-Chief Webber (James Pickens, Jr.) puts a stop to it, insisting that whether or not they like each other right now, they need one another to get the trial back on track – which is the most important thing. Looks like Bailey and Meredith will be working together (getting Meredith out of those “ridiculous pink scrubs”) at least for the foreseeable future.

Callie is pretty much the only doctor at the hospital who continues to connect with her patients, and her story this week is endearing and heartfelt. A garbage man falls from his truck and is crushed by a car, leaving his hand demolished. Which would be a sad thing to begin with, but turns out the man’s passion is woodcarving – something he’ll no longer be able to do if he loses his fingers. Callie works her crazy ortho-magic and ends the episode with a beautiful message about the things that let us live and the things that are worth living for.

Poor Avery. I have to say, he’s been growing on me this season. I’m not sure I’m even on a Mark and Lexie bandwagon anymore, but it’s clear from this week’s episode that’s where Shonda is taking us. Lexie is having a jealousy issue with Mark and his new girlfriend, even though Derek assures her it will last no time at all. When she loses her cool during the game and beans the girl in the chest (Lexie, um, thought she was stealing), Avery calls her out. He (and everyone else) realizes there’s something between Lexie and Mark, and it looks like we’re going to explore just what that is in the weeks to come.

If you’ll notice, I’ve pretty much wrapped up this review and I’ve yet to mention Alex (Justin Chambers) once. He wasn’t around the hospital much, because he was busy trying to track down Zola’s adoption records and find out what was going on with her case. He bribes a public official (illegal) and tries to influence a federal judge (also illegal) to put the baby back in MerDer’s care because of her medical issues, if nothing else. It seemed as though his little quest failed, then at the end of the episode the judge agreed to set a hearing date for their case. Looks like we’ll be moving forward on that storyline soon as well.

Tidbits:

* Cristina finally pleased Teddy by letting April take the lead on a cardiac case. It looks as though she’ll be returning to her old form soon. On the downside, she and Owen are still not talking about her abortion, a fact that surely will blow up in their faces soon.

* Henry (Scott Foley) was around, getting the bad news that his eyelet device might cause diabetes since they’re having trouble with the trial. I hope he doesn’t die. I love Scott Foley.

* Next week George’s mom is returning to the hospital. Interested to see what old feelings she stirs up in everyone, as well as a potential Mark and Lexie reunion!

Season 8, Episode 7 “Put Me In, Coach” (original airdate October 27, 2011)

Grey’s Anatomy airs Thursday nights at 9/8c on ABC.

Images courtesy of ABC/RICHARD CARTWRIGHT.

Our residents thrive off competition, that’s one thing we know for sure of the doctors of Grey’s Anatomy.  Last season it was the race for Chief Resident that dominated their daily lives.  This season they are in their fifth and final year of residency, and it is the most difficult.  Each surgery will count on their record, and they will be defined by this final year.

It’s a bit disheartening to think of doctors trying to preserve their win-loss record like a college football coach.  Their patients are real people with families, not just numbers on a stat sheet.  Even the best surgeons lose patients; they’re not God.  That being said, the residents still want to keep the losses to a minimum.  To that end, they are trying to end up on rotations that will challenge and impress without being too risky.  Adversity doesn’t just build character, it reveals it.  Some of the residents did themselves no favors by playing it safe.

Cristina (Sandra Oh)  ends up with Callie in an orthopedic surgery involving a patient with permanently poor posture.  Say that three times fast.  The young man’s neck is permanently in a downward position, as if he’s looking at his feet.  Cristina thought she’d have a routine fracture procedure or hip replacement, but Callie assumed that Renegade Cristina would welcome a challenge and thus presented her with a very complicated case.  The neck surgery will actually entail three separate procedures and is far from routine.  Cristina clams up when she sees that it won’t be the cakewalk she imagined, and when things get dicey during the procedure – she chickens out by asking that her name be taken off the procedure.  When the patient is out of the woods it’s too late for her to attach herself again.  No guts, no glory.  If you’re too afraid to get the losses then you don’t deserve the victories either.  Callie cautions her that she may be losing that part of her that made her a good surgeon in the first place by playing it safe.

Meredith (Ellen Pompeo) has recently been working in Obstetrics, which is considered a monumental downgrade.  Her peers chide her for sporting scrubs from the “vagina squad,” but she ignores their good-natured ribbing.  Meanwhile, Little Grey has taken her place with Derek in Neuro.  She’s not finding him too friendly of a boss, but that changes when she brings him a patient with a challenging brain tumor – a woman for whom Meredith just delivered a baby girl.  The woman and her husband must decide if they should proceed with the risky procedure or be content with what little time they have left.

While some are taking risks, some are playing it safe.  Alex (Justin Chambers) has always been pretty ballsy, but the fifth year jitters are getting to him too.  A patient presents for open heart surgery, and is concerned about the scar that will be left after the procedure.  He asks about another procedure that will be just as effective, but will not leave a scar.  It’s called a “tavi,” and it’s a lot riskier than the standard procedure.  Alex wants to minimize his losses and doesn’t want to perform the tavi.  Teddy is supervising him, and ultimately it is she that performs the procedure because Alex seems unwilling.  Just like Cristina, Alex punks out.  It was good to see more depth of character in this episode.  Alex and Cristina are known as two of the more gutsy residents, but they chickened out when the chips were down.  Will they over-compensate next week by taking unnecessary risks?

This was another great episode.  One thing to watch out for in the coming weeks is Kepner settling into her role as Chief Resident, and whether or not Meredith is able to mend fences with Bailey, who has not forgiven her for costing Richard his job.  Stay tuned!

Season 8, Episode 6: “Poker Face” (original air date October 20, 2011).

Grey’s Anatomy airs Thursdays at 9/8c on ABC.

Images courtesy of ABC and Ron Tom.

Last week’s episode was more proof that Grey’s Anatomy is one of the best shows around.  There are times when it’s a little too sappy and corny for my liking, but for the most part it’s consistently well-written and acted.  This high standard was reinforced with a great guest appearance from the wonderful Debbie Allen as Dr. Catherine Avery, renowned surgeon and mother of Jackson Avery.

The elder Dr. Avery presents a unique opportunity for Seattle Grace with a cutting edge surgery.  She reveals her patient, a young man named Ryan.  Ryan was fortunate to beat penile Cancer, but it left him without a penis.  Seattle Grace has the chance to make history as the first hospital to successfully perform a penis transplant.  The residents are chomping at the bit to be selected to assist with the procedure, and the winner will be chosen by skills lab performance.  Mark takes the lead because he views the procedure as one best suited for Plastics, though he thinks the patient should get a prosthetic penis instead.

The elder Avery is like most mothers: prying and doting.  Jackson (Jessie Williams)  sent Lexie out of town for a couple of days, in preparation for his mother’s visit. He didn’t want her to have to answer a thousand nosy questions. Catherine is a brilliant doctor but meddlesome mother.  Jackson tells the others that she has a problem respecting boundaries.  She also berates her son for his choice to work in Plastics with Mark instead of with Derek in Neurosurgery.

If Jackson wants his mother to respect his professional choices, he’s going to have to prove that he’s becoming a better surgeon.  He gets his chance during the transplant surgery.  He and Meredith (Ellen Pompeo) win the skills lab battle and are chosen fair and square, so there are no concerns of nepotism when Jackson assists his mother.  When  Meredith is called away from the surgery,  April fills in.  She later makes a critical error that threatens the transplant, and Jackson saves the day with a complicated procedure that he learned from Mark.  This pretty much shuts Catherine up and validates his choice to work in plastic surgery.

The most intense storyline involved Derek and Meredith.  They haven’t heard anything about Zola from the social worker, and Derek is getting anxious.  Meredith tells him to be patient, but things take a turn for the worse when Alex (Justin Chambers)  receives a page during the skills lab.  The page is for Zola, who has been admitted with seizures.  She has a high fever and a distended abdomen.  Alex wants to page Derek (Patrick Dempsey) and Meredith, but Arizona and the social worker tell him there’s no way he can do that.  It would be a breach of confidentiality and it could jeopardize the adoption, which is already on shaky ground.  Alex wrestles with the decision because he feels like he’s already ruined Meredith’s life once when he tattled on her, and he doesn’t want to mess up with her again.

Alex tells Cristina that Zola has been admitted and the two of them agree to tell Derek and Meredith.  Derek goes crazy and wants to intervene, but Meredith is the cooler head.  It takes Owen, Arizona and Meredith all to convince Derek to let Arizona handle it.  He fears that the shunt he implanted is causing a problem and so he’s the one that should fix it.  He will have to trust Arizona to heal Zola while he and Meredith wait.  This ordeal brings them closer together, although I’m sure they would have preferred different circumstances.  At the close of the episode they find out that Zola will be fine.  They run into their social worker while she waits for the elevator, and she can see from their faces that they’ve shed some tears.  She realizes that they knew about Zola but didn’t intervene.  Maybe that will be considered in their favor when a final custody determination is made.

This was another entertaining episode, and although last week was a nice change of pace, I’m glad to return to the regular format.  Although Mama Avery was nosy, she picked up on Mark’s residual feelings for Lexie when he attempted to tell her how lucky Jackson was to have her.  Is Mark still holding a torch for Lexie?  I’m sure that’s something that will resurface this season.  Stay tuned!

Season 8, Episode 4: Loss, Love, and Legacy (original air date October 13, 2011)

Grey’s Anatomy airs Thursdays at 9/8c on ABC.

Images courtesy of ABC and Richard Cartwright.

When we last saw Meredith of? Grey’s Anatomy , things weren’t looking too good.  She and Derek lost custody of Zola, and she was fired.  The Chief told the Board that it was his idea to switch the treatments, and that Meredith was just trying to protect him.  He takes it a step further this week by officially resigning as Chief of Surgery.  His peers are shocked, but this is a decision that he seems to be making without reservation.  He’s not quitting solely to help Meredith, and he will spend his newly acquired free time with Adele.  Webber has always been grateful to Meredith for her actions and continues to have a soft spot for her.  Derek, on the other hand, is none too pleased with her.  He’s been blacklisted and will probably never be able to work in a clinical trial again.  His career was nearly ruined, and now a close friend seems to be throwing his career away – all because of Meredith.

The fifth year residents are strutting around the hospital like proud peacocks.  There’s a new crop of interns to punish, plus they will get a chance to perform their own solo surgeries.  That’s too much ego to contain, so when April tries to assert herself as Chief Resident, she meets with a lot of resistance.  This whole set up is like when a parent leaves one child in charge of their sibling, who is only a year or two younger.  It doesn’t really work because there’s no respect.  The person giving you orders seems more like a peer than a boss.  April tries to direct them, but they pretty much do whatever they want to do.  Callie confides to April that she was once Chief Resident and couldn’t hack it.  She encourages April but admits that she might not be cut out for the job, and there’s no shame in that. 

Avery pleads with Teddy to perform a solo cleft lip surgery without assistance.  She assigns the cosmetic procedure to Sloan instead, even though it’s Avery who had been working with the patient first.  Eventually she agrees to let Avery perform the surgery after he makes a compelling argument.  Cristina is eyeing a valve resection, under Teddy’s supervision.  Alex has some sort of gastro intestinal procedure, and Meredith will be performing brain surgery on a man with an aneurysm.  Teddy has been trying to impress upon Cristina the importance of the simple, easy steps.  Because she’s trying to teach her a lesson, she doesn’t allow Cristina to perform the valve surgery and decides to give her an easy appendectomy instead. 

All of the residents end up with less than successful surgical outcomes except for Meredith.  Arizona psyched Avery out of his cleft lip surgery, and Mark had to intervene.  Cristina inexplicably forgot one of the steps during the appendectomy, and Teddy didn’t remember either! One of the nurses had to pitch in.  Alex didn’t make any mistakes, but his patient did not survive.  It is Meredith who exceeded expectations, despite bumping heads with Derek in the O.R.  She made a judgment call and the procedure resulted in success.

Derek was not too impressed with Meredith’s successful solo, because he thinks that she acts recklessly and without proper regard for consequences.  Sometimes this is a good thing and sometimes it’s not.  This compassionate, but reckless abandon is what lead Meredith to stand in front of a deranged gunman for Derek, almost taking a bullet for him.  It’s also what leads to her interference with his trial.  I think Derek finds her behavior frustrating and dangerous.  Through it all, he takes his marital vows seriously and is trying to hang in there with Meredith.

Owen and Cristina are doing slightly better than they were last week.  Cristina had the abortion, and their interactions have been awkward and stilted ever since.  She confides in Meredith that she thinks Owen is still upset about the whole thing and may have some residual resentment towards her.  Nevertheless, she agrees to have a celebratory dinner for him, since he was given Chief Webber’s vacant position.  When they settle in for dinner at home, she realizes that Owen has no anger about what has happened.  They actually appear to be doing just fine, which is great for Cristina.

I thought it was a good episode that continued to flesh out the interpersonal dynamics around the halls of Seattle Grace.  I think a big theme this season will be people’s adjustment and acceptance of change and their ability to rise to the occasion.  April will have to find her way as Chief Resident, and the other residents will have added responsibilities as well.  Webber will not be the fixture he once was, and Meredith and Derek will continue to fight for their marriage and their child.  High drama! I think the season is off to a pretty good start.

Season 8, Episode 3 Grey’s Anatomy: Take the Lead (original air date September 29, 2011)

Grey’s Anatomy airs Thursdays at 9/8c on ABC.

Images courtesy of Jordin Althaus and ABC.

Wednesdays just got a whole lot better with ABC’s delicious new drama Revenge. The 10 PM slot that night is typically ruled by procedurals and at least one potentially doomed shot in the dark that dares to step outside of the cop/lawyer drama box. Thankfully, Mike Kelley’s (Swingtown, Jericho) new series looks to be bucking the trend and bringing viewers like me the perfect escape.

An albeit loose contemporary interpretation of The Count of Monte Cristo, Revenge follows Emily Thorne (Emily Van Camp, Everwood), an independently wealthy newcomer on the social scene, as she enters the Hamptons for the summer thanks to a last minute lease on a great beach house and a chance to spend some time with her friend, event planner Ashley (Ashley Madekwe, Secret Diary of a Call Girl). Her house just happens to make her next door neighbor to the Grayson family, headed by social diva of the Hamptons Victoria (Madeleine Stowe). Emily even catches the eye of their young son, reformed party boy Daniel (Joshua Bowman). Could there possibly be a bit more than chance or spontaneous holiday that brings this group together?

Years ago, Victoria fell in love with Emily’s father and was supposed to run away with him. Instead, she and her friends—the rest of the Hamptons social scene—implicated him in an insider trading scheme and terrorist plot that ended up sending an innocent man to jail until he died. His daughter, Amanda Clarke, became Emily Thorne as a means to seek vengeance on the people who ruined her life. As an audience, we’ll get to find out the details of how Amanda became Emily throughout the season. So far, all we know is her seemingly limitless resources come from her father’s half ownership of financial guru and social pariah Nolan Ross’ (Gabriel Mann) company.

But the twists keep coming, and we’re only two hours in. While somewhat falling for Daniel Grayson, considering the pilot episode starts with their engagement party before a gunshot lets us know Daniel isn’t meant to survive the series run, it turns out Emily might find herself in a bit of a love triangle. You might actually call it a square, considering Jack (Nick Wechsler, Roswell) is actually Amanda’s childhood crush, even if they were five at the time. Jack hasn’t seen Amanda in almost two decades, so he doesn’t recognize Emily. Luckily, that’s what his dog Sam is for, and Nolan, of course, who’s eager to play Robin to her Batman.

Rounding out the supporting cast are Connor Paolo as Jack’s younger brother Declan, who seems to have all but fled his former life on Gossip Girl. Unlike his older brother, who’s just trying to keep his family’s bar and grill The Stowaway from foreclosure, Declan is more interested in getting into as much of the local summer party as possible to further a wrong side of the tracks flirtation with the younger Grayson offspring Charlotte (Christa B. Allen), who’s on a break from her current boyfriend.

The premise seems convoluted, but is actually easy to follow in the context of an hour. With an interesting formula of season long mystery and episodic take-downs, I think Revenge is worth settling into for the long haul. I’m obviously curious about the events of the prologue, which take place at the end of summer. But more so, I’m interested in what direction Emily’s path will take her in. Revenge is never a straight line. Right now, she’s struck at the finances and reputations of her first targets. Could a little wet works be far away? Van Camp plays her role with a perfect icy exterior ever-so slightly hidden behind a smile. What’s it going to be like to see her in those moments when she really cracks? The closing scene of last night’s episode with the lone birthday candle showed us a glimpse of Emily mourning the loss of Amanda.

Just how far is she willing to take her crusade? And who along the way will learn her secrets? Scenes from next week suggest that Victoria, who’s been investigating Emily since the moment they met, may have uncovered some holes in her story. Worse for Emily is it appears Jack isn’t going away anytime soon, even if he isn’t part of the Hamptons it-crowd social scene, and somehow manages to find the chinks in her armor. Still, at the root of it all, I’m excited for more devious takedown schemes.

After all, as Emily told us in the pilot, this is not a story about forgiveness.

Season 1, Episodes 1 and 2: “Pilot” and “Trust” (originally aired September 21 and 28, 2011)

Revenge airs Wednesdays at 10/9c on ABC

Images courtesy of ABC

When we last left our band of merry doctors of Grey’s Anatomy, there was much trouble afoot.  Cristina and Owen were dealing with an unplanned pregnancy.  She wants to have an abortion; he doesn’t.  Meredith and Derek’s child-rearing hopes are in jeopardy after their adoption of baby Zola is compromised by Meredith’s professional misconduct.  They have been living separate lives, while maintaining a façade with the social worker handling the adoption.

When we pick up the action it’s clear that Derek and Meredith are in trouble.  She’s still in the doghouse with Derek, and Alex is still in the doghouse with Meredith.  He’s been ostracized because his peers think that he betrayed one of their own.  Things go from bad to worse when Meredith is fired and Alex realizes once and for all that he can’t undo what’s been done.  He’s depressed and has turned into a mope.  He will have to find a way to regain everyone’s trust, and it won’t be easy.

A familiar plot device with Grey’s is the disaster or big emergency that will unite everyone in a singular task.  For the season premiere, a huge sinkhole has swallowed up some citizens, injuring them severely.  A couple in crisis is among the injured, and the wife will have her leg amputated at the scene.  At first Owen (Kevin McKidd) and Callie (Sara Ramirez) attempt to walk her husband through the procedure, as it is too dangerous for any of them to travel down in the sinkhole.  It was gut-wrenching to watch the husband attempt the impossible task of amputating his wife’s leg.  He tried but could not complete the procedure.  Owen risked his life, repelling down into the sinkhole to save the couple.  After seeing the man suffering greatly, he knew that he could not perform the amputation, and it was unfair of them to ask him.  I think subconsciously Owen didn’t mind risking his life, because he feels that his own family structure is in jeopardy and he doesn’t have the same incentive not to risk his life that others may have.  He tells Callie that she can’t go in the sinkhole with him, because she has a wife and baby to live for. 

Owen may not have the same family structure as Callie, but he has a wife that needs him.  Cristina is unwavering in her choice to terminate her pregnancy, and if she keeps the baby to appease Owen she will end up miserable for the rest of her life.  Meredith explains to Owen that she knows what it’s like to have a surgeon-mother who seems to value her career over her child.  It’s not a fun feeling and Cristina doesn’t want to subject a child to that.  It’s a difficult decision, and she could use the support of the man that pledged to love her for life.  Owen softens and it looks like he finally accepts Cristina’s decision. 

Alex gets his chance to atone for his mistake with Meredith when she makes a rash decision.  Fearing that Zola would be removed from her custody by the social worker, Meredith takes the child and flees.  She ignores all phone calls and pages. Finally she comes to her senses after the temporary split with reality.  Alex makes up a story about needing to run some tests on Zola and how that’s the reason Meredith was distracted.  She says that she didn’t get the pages because she’d been fired so she turned the pager in.  It’s a flimsy story and unfortunately the social worker recognizes Meredith’s dishonesty and removes Zola from their home because their circumstances have changed. 

Last but not least, April is the new Chief Resident! She has the logistical part figured out but doesn’t have command or authority over the other doctors.  She isn’t assertive, and the sinkhole disaster is exposing flaws in her leadership.  Bailey decides to conduct a “Gunther,” a team-building exercise used to eliminate interpersonal differences among doctors.  They all work together on a real patient, and one of them will emerge as a natural leader while others are more suited to taking direction.  Of course it initially appears that Cristina is the natural leader, but when her competitive nature nearly kills Alex in the OR, a new leader emerges and  Avery is the Gunther.  Just when Sloan had underestimated him.  This doesn’t bode well for April as Chief Resident, but she managed to survive her first day.

This was a good two hour episode; jam packed with more than enough drama to start the new season.  There were some really sappy, cheesy moments but I’m willing to overlook them, for now. Good start.

Grey’s Anatomy Season 8 Episode 1 and 2: “Free Falling/She’s Gone” (original air date September 22, 2011).

Grey’s Anatomy airs Thursdays at 9/8c on ABC.

Images courtesy of Ron Tom and ABC.

We are now in the midst of a new TV season for 2011-2012 and while we can’t wait to see old favorites again, there are a couple new shows that are making us clear some space on our DVRs. But we’re also mentally preparing ourselves for the worst: certain networks like to cancel shows prematurely, so we try not to get too attached too quickly. Below, Team Poptimal has given our predictions on what’s going to be hot this season and what shows will face the ax.

Most Anticipated New Show

New Girl. What’s not to love about this show? Headlined by the adorable Zooey Deschanel, it’s both hysterical and cute. This will be one of the strongest new shows this fall. It’s definitely my favorite new show. -Allison Toner

I saw the pilot of New Girl and can’t wait to see more. Yes, it mostly consists of Zooey Deschanel playing a character I like to call Quirky McQuirkerson, but the show has the potential to be sweet and consistently fun. -Lauren Tyree

Hands down, Revenge. Emily VanCamp is a gift, but this literally-titled new drama is easily the most captivating new show of the year for me. -Josh Hatala

Ringer. Yes, it’s the return of Buffy! Twice! Sarah Michelle Gellar hasn’t done much acclaimed work since, but don’t think the Scooby Gang and I won’t kick your butt if the TV gods take her away from me again. -Inisia Lewis

The River. After interviewing Oren Peli and the cast at San Diego Comic-Con, I’m really excited to have a show that combines X-Files and The Amazon, plus it looks really creepy. If I’m going to reveal my guilty pleasure though, then I would say The Secret Circle. I know at this point the whole supernatural genre is everywhere, but I’m a sucker for these. Plus Kevin Williamson and The WB, I mean The CW – it’s a ’90s reunion! -Nicole C

Terra Nova. Man ruins Earth. Man goes back in time to survive. Man doesn’t get what he bargained for and gets eaten by dinosaurs! That’s all you need to know about Terra Nova. That, and it was partially produced by Steven Spielberg, who from what I hear is a pretty popular guy. -Desiree Neall

Most Anticipated Returning Show

Psych. The last time we saw my favorite fake psychic detective and his sidekick Gus was December 2010. I can barely wait any longer for their return and to see the many guest stars they’ve lined up including Molly Ringwald, Danny Glover and William Shatner. Is it October 12^th yet? –Allison Toner

I don’t know how I made it through the summer without Community. I hope Season 3 will be just as Changtacular as the previous two. -Lauren Tyree

After the dramatic turns in the last few episodes in its second season, I can’t wait to see what’s coming up on The Good Wife. Even the move to Sundays couldn’t keep me away from Kalinda. I hope they don’t skimp out on the details of what happened behind that closed hotel door. -Josh Hatala

Fringe. Where’s Peter? Undoubtedly, last season wasn’t the last time we’ll ever see him, but it doesn’t make me miss him any less. I can’t wait to find out how he’s weaved back into the show. -Inisia Lewis

The Vampire Diaries and Supernatural. Because I need to know what new and insane twists the writers are going to do to throw me off my predictions for the Salvatore brothers, and I am looking forward to seeing Castiel as god. -Nicole C

Who isn’t looking forward to the return of The Walking Dead? The actors are great, the make-up and special effects are superb, and it already has a solid story line thanks to the comic series. The show certainly has had its share of rumors and “not cool” moments behind the scenes, but I’m praying that it doesn’t affect the future too negatively for this awesome production. -Desiree Neall

Most Likely to be a Disappointment

The Office. I just can’t imagine this show without Michael Scott’s (Steve Carell) shenanigans. It just can’t be as funny. Hope I’m wrong. –Allison Toner

As much as I like the whole retro vibe, Pan Am will probably be aggressively bland. Good concept, but it looks like a mediocre execution. -Lauren Tyree

Terra Nova looks like one of the many disappointing blockbusters of the summer…just on TV. -Josh Hatala

Charlie’s Angels - I would sayH8R but it’s hard to be a disappointment when there aren’t high expectations. The

Charlie’s Angels update looks like it could be a lot of fun, but so far it’s shaping up to be straight up man candy, not exactly the demographic I’m a part of. -Inisia Lewis

Ringer. I caught part of the pilot, and as much as I love Sarah Michelle Gellar, the show just wasn’t exciting enough for me and I changed channels. Great cast though. -Nicole C

Vienna Girardi and I have some things in common, despite what I might have once thought. And though I’ve never appeared on a competitive reality show (and won the whole shebang,) and I’ve yet to have an emotional break-up on national television,  on a couple things, we can certainly agree. First: we’re both totally over that whole Jake Pavelka thing. Second: we both know that while a good friend is very hard to come by,  it’s pretty easy to tell when you’ve secured one. Following a recent promotional visit to Las Vegas’ Studio 54, Vienna caught up with Poptimal to discuss these matters and more from her new digs in Hollywood with boyfriend and Bachelor Pad costar Kasey Kahl.

As someone who has been exposed to more than her fair share of ABC’s treasured Bachelor franchise, I wanted to know why the world’s most successful and long-running televised romance competition seems to attract so many questionable personalities. Though it appears the answer is in the question, Vienna was quick to defend many of the show’s alums while still offering her perspective on the divisive star of Season 14. After agreeing that many of the eligible men we’ve seen onscreen seem to exhibit clear signs of pathological narcissism, Vienna clarified, “I think that it’s common, but it’s not all the guys who have it. Jake just has a very angry personality. From the beginning, I heard from his family to be very careful with him. But all ABC sees is this nice guy who does everything in the correct way.”

We savvy viewers realized long ago that Jake is nothing if not a master manipulator, well-versed in the art of camera-ready charm at the expense of personal integrity. Though my slight bias may be unprofessional, Vienna didn’t seem to mind. Accepting my congratulations for having successfully escaped such a clearly unhealthy engagement, Vienna said with a sigh, “I was terrified during that time. I was miserable. Thank God I have people who care about me.” Now, after his recent exit from the Bachelor Pad game (in which top prize takes the form of $250,000), we can finally leave Jake in the rearview mirror where he belongs. Again, so totally over it.

Vienna isn’t the first to bemoan the cruelty of reality show editing, but her frustration was palpable during our discussion of what is now commonly accepted as just another part of “the process” by many participants. “People really don’t get to see all of who we are in those few minutes out of hours and hours of footage,” she lamented. “[The cameras] always catch the three seconds of fighting. It’s like walking in on a husband and wife fighting and not seeing the day-to-day. People don’t get the big picture. Things are always moved around and taken out of context,” said Vienna, noting a recent creatively-spliced scene in which she appeared to be laughing dismissively at a sweet serenade from Kasey. “I would never do that to him. I wouldn’t!” she laughed.

It can’t be an altogether pleasant experience to be caricatured on national TV by men who make their fortunes exploiting the unrealistic hopes of often unstable egos. Vienna has had to reconcile her own self-image with public opinion since her primetime debut, confronting rumors of wanton fame-seeking and vapidity, infidelity and promiscuity. When I inquired about how viewers typically approach her on the street, she answered, “People I see in person pretty much support me and are kind,” making sure to mention how “nice” it is to “meet fans” in the flesh. As always, it’s a whole ‘nother story in the virtual world, and Vienna doesn’t take too seriously anyone who needs to hide behind a screen of anonymity in order to speak freely.

Despite the largely private personal life she lives even as her show is being aired months after taping, she explained, the general perception is that she’s on a constant quest for validation from Hollywood and the masses. “Online, I get some very negative hate mail,” she revealed matter-of-factly, to the surprise of absolutely no one. A thin bleach-blonde with an expensive rack and a penchant for getting her way? It’s too easy, after all, and refreshingly, Vienna seems as bored by the cliché as are the rest of us.

Considering the many pitfalls of such a lifestyle, I invited Vienna to explain what makes the reality spotlight worthwhile. The financial rewards are obvious, and apparently some people actually enjoy being primped and gawked at by millions, but is that enough? With all the diplomacy and tact of a pageant hopeful, the Sanford, Florida, native offered a response which seemed oddly sincere coming from her. “I’ve been given huge opportunities by The Bachelor…Before going on the show, I had never seen a skyscraper in real life before. I had just graduated from college and never left my area. I had never even seen a real city up until that point!”

To hear Vienna tell it, she couldn’t have dreamed of such wonders absent the fortuitous circumstances designed by ABC, and the relationships she’s built along the way were an unexpected bonus. “A lot of people you see on our show are real. Michelle Money has one of the best hearts of anyone. Ella is a good friend,” she said, praising Erica Rose as well. I asked how I might be able to discern the real from the fake when it comes to friendship, figuring reality TV cameras must be the ultimate litmus test. “You can tell when you have true friends who are there for you,” Vienna offered. “Pick people who will drive five hours to your new apartment to help you move furniture and then crash on your couch at the end of the day.” It’s the kind of advice that sounds simple enough to be true, even when spoken softly through the billowing smoke and cracked mirrors of Los Angeles.

Catch the finale of ABC’s Bachelor Pad on Monday September 12th at 8/7c.

For more on The Bachelor, click here.

Lana Parrilla, Robert Carlyle

This October, ABC will premiere an ambitious and imaginative new series based on fairy tales, something not often seen on network television outside of miniseries and TV movies.  Once Upon a Time stars Jennifer Morrison (House) as a woman who is found by the young son she gave up for adoption (Jared Gilmore, Mad Men) 10 years ago.  We come to learn that he believes she is the daughter of Snow White (Ginnifer Goodwin, Big Love) and Prince Charming (Josh Dallas, Thor), and that the town of Storybrooke, Maine, is populated by fairy tale characters.

It’s an ambitious project, certainly, but one the cast and producers hope will resonate with viewers.  Given the nature of the show, it’s not surprising that the actors would have had some reservations about joining the cast. “When you read the scripts, you think, god this is gonna be really cheesy, just the sound of the dialogue and everything,” said Lana Parrilla (Miami Medical), who portrays both the Evil Queen and Mayor Regina.  “[But] I think what the writers have done successfully, what the actors have done is…they’ve humanized these fairy tale characters.”  Morrison agreed, saying what drew them to the show was “the writing, the writing, the writing.” The actors all loved the idea of exploring “these iconic characters that we all know and show a different side to them that we don’t know.  And look at them as real people with real problems and real issues to deal with,” said Dallas.

Each member of the cast was determined to bring a strong sense of relatability and humanity to his or her character.  Parrilla dug deep, talking with the writers and rereading fairy tales such as Sleeping Beauty, Little Red Riding Hood, and, of course, Rumpelstiltskin, determined to find out what made the Evil Queen become evil.  “There’s some real, human emotions being expressed; there’s betrayal, there’s vanity.  Hatred.  But it all stems from some kind of pain,  because you can’t be evil just for the sake of being evil.”

“Any performance is about honesty,” Robert Carlyle (Stargate Universe) added. “You buy every second of it because it’s coming from the heart.  So you play these characters, no matter how ugly, from the heart.  You touch people with it.”  Goodwin hopes to make her Snow White “terribly flawed.”  She believes that their objective is “to make the audience believe that these are the real people, the real relatable people, upon whom the Disney [and other movies] are based on.  And our princesses are definitely not perfect.”

Morrison was eager to depart from the princess as damsel in distress cliche so often seen in fairy tales.  “[The creators] realized it’s really important to portray these women with integrity, and with intelligence, and with strength and power and not in a way… that’s contrived, but in a way that’s really relatable to right now, in this moment,” she said passionately.  “You don’t want to put a bunch of women on the screen that are damsels in distress because that’s sending a terrible message to little girls right now.  We’re in a time when women are balancing careers and families and children and all sorts of things and they’re doing it beautifully. We’re just coming into a time where the world is limitless for young girls and what they’re capable of, and we forget sometimes how close we are to it being different.  It really wasn’t that long ago that women couldn’t get certain jobs or weren’t respected in certain arenas and so it is sort of the reinvention of the way you think of a fairy tale princess.” “And Prince Charming doesn’t like that kind of woman,” Dallas drawled.  “He likes strong, strong women.”

Jennifer Morrison, Ginnifer Goodwin, Josh Dallas

Carlyle, who plays Rumpelstiltskin and Mr. Gold, was particularly interested in exploring the two different worlds.  One takes place in the Enchanted Forest and is full of princesses, fairies, and magical creatures, where characters like Geppetto and Snow White mingle.  As a result of a curse by the Evil Queen, these characters are thrown into our world, where Rumpelstiltskin becomes the mysterious Mr. Gold, who owns the town, and the Queen herself becomes the Mayor, who is also the foster mother of the 10-year-old boy.  Snow White is his teacher, Mary Margaret Blanchard, and Prince Charming is a comatose John Doe.

Creators/Executive Producers Adam Horowitz and Edward Kitsis, who honed their storytelling skills on series like Felicity and Lost, have had a vision for this show for the past eight years and are excited to finally be bringing Once Upon a Time to our television sets.  They are very optimistic that they will succeed, even in the generally quiet, but family-friendly, Sunday evening timeslot.  They feel that both the network and the studio have been extremely supportive of them so far.  And while they do have an idea of where they’d like the show to go, they remain focused on the first 12 episodes in case they do not get picked up for more.  Viewers will be pleased to know that they promise they will hold nothing back in these episodes (“all killer, no filler”) and hope to surprise us along the way.

Given the success of the Shrek franchise and recent movies like Enchanted and Tim Burton’s Alice in Wonderland, there’s clearly a market for fairy tales these days, but will it translate well on the small screen?  Only time will tell.  All signs point to a happy ending, though.  There was a lot of buzz about it at San Diego Comic-Con this year and a standing room only audience responded positively to an advanced screening of the premiere episode.  “I’m surprised we’re getting away with this, honestly.  It works overall.  It completely works.  You read the script and I just thought, ‘wow, this is a brilliant script, but how are we were going to film this?’” Parrilla wondered. “They made it work.  It’s magic.”

Once Upon a Time premieres Sunday, October 23 at 8/7c on ABC.

For more on Comic-Con, click here.

Images courtesy of ABC, Ayang and Poptimal.com

It’s the ninth week, and Savusavu, Fiji is the last stop in our Bachelorette voyage. We’re greeted by clear blue skies and sparkling ocean; Ashley calls it “the ultimate place to fall in love [and] hopefully get engaged.” That is also my sincere hope for her, though I stop short of dreaming up a wild scenario in which an actual wedding occurs and somehow results in a happy marriage. There is no one more deserving, since this woman has put in more work than I could ever be bothered to invest when it comes to the hunt for a life partner. Ashley is weary, restless, anxious, and ready to be swept away into a home made of her lifelong dreams and aspirations. “The beginning of this journey seems like years ago,” she says. You ain’t kiddin’.

Ash begins by recapping her hometown dates with the three remaining men. They all went well, in her estimation, and she left with a much better understanding of each potential mate after interacting with their families. Ben, she says, “is everything that I’ve been looking for, and there’s never a dull moment with him.” He can be goofy and silly but sincere and honest at the same time, while allowing Ashley to be herself with no pretense. She thinks of Constantine as mature, smart, thoughtful, and honest. Though she can see their partnership “lasting a very long time,” she acknowledges, “My relationship with Constantine is moving very slow.” JP looked like a model right out of the limo, and Ash had no idea how she got so lucky. She describes him as a grown man who’s very sincere and reveals that she “knew after the first date.” “Sometimes you don’t need 20 dates to find out how you feel about somebody,” she explains. I think the instant chemistry and ease between JP and Ashley sets them apart as a couple; all of the men may very well be mature and honest indeed, but which of them actually excites her?

Too suddenly, we go from a pensive Ashley writing in a prop journal in her Fiji villa next to the water to a shot of an unwanted visitor approaching with a determined stare soaked in delusions and impotent self-importance. Of course, it’s Ryan, accompanied by ominous tones on the soundtrack. Cowering, we watch him approach the decadent seaside villa while his voiceover informs us of his intent. Apparently, he thinks there are things left “unexplored” with Ashley. “What if she’s regretting sending me home?” She isn’t. This is such a silly piece of plotting, and I don’t think anything happens on this show without the hands of the producers meddling at some point in the process. If ABC didn’t hold a conference call to convince Ryan to creepily impose himself on Ashley in Fiji, they at least purchased his plane ticket when he brought up the idea.

Ryan surprises Ashley at her door, and she looks surprised and a bit weirded out. Calling him “Ry,” she wears the same pasted-on grin that can be seen on the faces of cult members at dinnertime and recites twice that it’s good to see him. They sit down so that Ryan can explain himself. He had a whole plane ride to prepare a speech, but all he can say is that their one-on-one date wasn’t “conducive to passion” or something, and they weren’t able to “see things through.” He speaks frantically, hoping he can provoke self-doubt and confusion (the way to a woman’s heart). Acting as if Chris Harrison simply lifted his eyes from a book and nodded toward the right direction, Ryan says, “Like, wow, like, I really feel that we didn’t get to see things through. So I called Chris, [who said], ‘alright, she’s in Fiji.’” He’s brimming over with anxiety and entitlement, telling Ashley that he wants to spend time with her “so bad” but doesn’t want her to rush a response. “I’m here for a couple days,” he says, urging her to wait and think before providing an answer. This is his way of ensuring she thinks about him while on dates with the other men, but I hope she’s too smart to fall for that. Ashley doesn’t really speak before they say goodbye, so I look for signs of life and hope she’ll come to the right decision (much like the one she already made before it was disrespected and discarded by yet another camera-whoring prick).

I am so tired of this wine-making bore that I don’t know what to do with myself. Ben and Ashley meet on the sand somewhere and hug and kiss before boarding a boat for their date. He tells viewers that his connection with the bachelorette is “effortless,” which I think means he’s her safe bet in case JP gets cold feet. Ashley tells Ben how nervous she was to meet his mother. “I wanted her to like me,” she admits in a small voice, to which Ben can only answer, “I got a really good feeling from my mom and my sister.” Ashley calls their relationship “easy and comfortable.” At least one of us is at ease, because I’m crawling out of my skin as they smear sunblock on each other, Ashley straddling him under the white clouds. “It’s like we’re on a honeymoon or something,” she gushes to the camera before they dive in to snorkel alongside swarms of gorgeous, colorful fish. “I feel protected,” Ashley reports. “Today was perfect,” says Ben.

The two wild and crazy kids head over to dinner atop picturesque sand. “It’s been a long time since I felt this way for someone, since I’ve been in love,” Ben tells us, adding that he’s nervously awaiting his opportunity to say ‘I love you’ to Ashley and mean it tonight. As they eat and recap their day, both marveling at their comfort level, Ashley asks Ben what would need to happen in order to push their relationship further. “One of us would have to come forward and commit,” replies Ben, who then implies that he’s available and willing to spend the rest of his life with Ashley. “My feelings are growing, and I’m on my way to the whole ‘I love you’ thing,” he tells her. While that was a bit less direct than one might have hoped, Ash goes for it, kisses him, and reveals in a talking head that she’s so excited for the two of them to demonstrate their love to one another in private. Ashley hands Ben the fantasy suite invitation from Chris, which offers them the option of forgoing their individual rooms for a shared suite tonight. To Ben, it’s a ‘Get Out of Jail Free’ card; he accepts the invite for a nightcap and tells the camera, “I don’t think I’m gonna tell Ashley that I love her tonight,” insisting they can look at each other and “get it.” How convenient. Beautiful private quarters await, complete with a bed covered in rose petals, sitting in a large room which opens up to a pool. Ben and Ashley take a quick dip before he carries her out of the water toward the bedroom. They kiss some more. “I can see myself with Ben, and I can say that I’m really falling in love with him,” says Ash.

Constantine takes his turn next; he meets up with his date the next morning and boards a helicopter with the excitement of a child. He’s never been on one before, and he’s super stoked or something. Since there is no way in hell that Constantine will make it through this episode, this is an epic waste of time. I hate to keep threatening self-harm, but if I see one more helicopter take off on this show, I can’t promise I won’t stab myself in the corneas. I get that flying over crystal blue ocean is romantic and special, but it’s not as interesting to watch as ABC thinks it is. Ashley calls Constantine a “Greek god” and says “I could not picture a more perfect date.” What about all those other ones that you already designated as “purrr-fehkt,” or what about the arguably more perfect scenario in which you’re with a man you actually like? Constantine is a kid on a field trip, excited to be flying in a helicopter over Fiji but apathetic about the company.

Ashley walks her hopeless case to a waterfall on Taveuni Island so that she can resurrect some tired metaphors for the audience before jumping off the rocks. In love, she explains, “both people have to let go; both people have to fall.” Of course, it must be mentioned that love is a “leap of faith” just like this leap they’re taking into the water together. Since there’s not really any love to be had here, it seems sort of cheap and unnecessary. Still, they proceed, sitting on a blanket in front of the waterfall while Ashley gives Constantine the third degree. She wants to know how many houses he had to look at before buying one (108) so that she can shame him for over-thinking before making a serious decision. “You take time, and you put in effort,” she complains. “Here, we do have time, but we don’t have a lot of it.” She’s hoping things will “take off” tonight, that she’ll be reassured of his interest in her. I think by this point, she should be glad to trim the fat. Constantine looks at her sort of blankly, but there’s just the faintest bit of desperation coded into his gaze. “Send me home,” he seems to be begging. They’re not touching or holding hands, and neither looks very comfortable. Ashley is nervous that he needs more time, which they don’t have.

Constantine and Ashley return to Savusavu for the evening, now holding hands as they sit to dine. He says “okay” as timidly as possible when she toasts to “hopefully having a lot of time together,” and they resort to talking about the fruity taste of the wine. Naturally, this reminds them of winemaker Ben, and Ashley cuts to the chase by asking Constantine how he feels about having a friend date the same girl he’s dating. “If it were somebody I didn’t respect, it’d be a lot harder,” he answers, offering that he couldn’t do anything to stop it if she and Ben really fell in love in the end. Neither would he want to, he says, since no one should stand in the way of true love. Ashley pretends to admire that quality, calling it strong-mindedness and an ability to resist being consumed by emotion. He’s just not that into you, my dear. Putting two and two together, she says, “I don’t feel like you wanna hold my hand or be around me all the time…I have nothing to feed off of.” Constantine replies that he’s usually affectionate instinctively, but he hasn’t been able to be that way with her. She asks if the problem is her personally or if it’s “the process,” meaning the cameras and the time crunch and the competition and staged dates.

Things get sort of uncomfortable when it becomes clear that Constantine has no interest in pursuing something serious with Ashley. It’s been hard for him to admit that he’s not feeling it, but he subtly lets her know that the “process” is not the issue here. Saying that he can’t approach her father to ask for his blessing when he doesn’t really mean it, Constantine states, “I respect you too much as a person to make this any harder than it needs to be.” Ashley is holding out until the bitter end, refusing to give up on the guy until he explicitly rejects her. When she asks where this revelation leaves them as a couple, he answers, “If we’re gonna be honest about it, this means the end of the road for me.” She thanks him for being “real” and not forcing feelings like other men might in his situation. Tearing up a bit, she hugs him goodbye. Even though we saw this coming many miles away, it’s still an abrupt end for Constantine. They didn’t even touch their food! There’s no way I’d let a perfectly good plate of gourmet dinner in Fiji sit and get cold in front of me while some guy who never showed any interest takes his sweet time cutting me loose. Ashley sits alone at the table, staring at the fantasy suite card and key, wondering what it would have been like to spend the night with him. It’s obvious that she would have axed him at the rose ceremony, anyway, but I guess she wanted to give him a test drive, anyhow. Oh, Ash. You knew what you were doing all along. How could I have doubted you? Ashley claims to be shocked that Constantine didn’t want to stick it out a bit longer and see what could happen between them, but we all know it’s way too late for a wait-and-see attitude. Now, in order to inject a bit of suspense and play up her insecurity for the viewers at home, Ash pretends to be super worried about JP and Ben abandoning her, as well: “What if I end up alone, and all of this was for nothing?” Didn’t that Bentley guy say you could give him a call if this thing didn’t work out? It’s worth a shot.

The next morning, it’s finally time to confront Ryan, who’s been waiting impatiently for days to hear Ashley’s verdict. She goes into their meeting telling us that Ryan is successful, gorgeous, and “the sweetest guy,” and that it means so much to her that he would fly out to see her. Why do these people keep forgetting the millions of other factors which influence contestant behavior on this show? He would have flown out to Fiji for literally any other woman on Earth if it meant he’d get more chances to ham it up for the cameras. He’s hoping some impressionable young filly is watching at home, scrambling to find out how to get in touch with him and heal his broken heart.

Ashley knocks on his door as her voiceover assures us that she knows exactly what she has to do. Ryan greets her with his heart beating out of his chest, and they have a few laughs outside on the balcony. For a few moments, I’m nervous about what Ashley will say to him, thinking maybe he’s brainwashed her enough to secure himself a spot in the running. But she does the right thing, telling him that while rejecting him the first time was difficult, and while he’s everything she’s looking for “on paper,” she knows she made the right decision the first time. “I didn’t feel, like, that passion,” she admits, adding that she has found it with the two other men. Ouch. It’s a good thing that Ryan’s disappointment and self-pity are entirely manufactured, because I might be tempted to feel bad for him. He tells her that he’s happy for her and says that he’ll never hold back in matters of love again. He whines that he’s got a great life and is just “missing someone to hold hands with through it all.”  Then he repeats “It’ll happen” to himself four times in a row. Geez, is this man unstable. Have at him, ladies.

Finally, Ashley gets to share a date with her true love JP. She leaps into his arms and kisses him, threatening to never let go. He tells her he’s been anxious and dying to see her. My bitter, man-hating heart really melts when they’re onscreen. They board one of those dreaded helicopters, but I honestly don’t mind this time, since they’re so adorable as they sit and hold hands, quietly canoodling. Ashley’s talking head marvels at the fact that they can sit and enjoy the view “without having to talk,” but it’s kind of hard to converse when your lips are pressed against another’s, so I can’t give them too much credit. They land on some small island with a hammock, where JP tells Ash that his father said she’d be a welcome addition to the family. “I feel pretty good about us,” he says. “I’m ready for the end.” I’m surprised at how confident he is with the bachelorette; he is demure when asked what he’s been thinking about lately and talks about living “in the moment” rather than being paranoid about the other guys. They swim and hug while JP voiceovers, “When I look at Ashley, I see the woman I want to spend my life with.” She says their bond “could last a lifetime.” In his estimation, the only thing that could improve his day is seeing Ashley stop everything and declare him The One. Let’s compare that sentiment to Constantine not being able to make it all the way through dinner or even stomach a fantasy suite date before going home.

In the middle of the Savusavu jungle, JP and Ashley dine and talk about how perfect everything is. He tells her, “You get me, and I get you.” To reassure him about not feeling intimidated by his own feelings, Ashley delivers a misleadingly-worded message, saying she “said goodbye to two guys” already this week. Like a teaser for the next episode, she hints that “someone came back,” of course leaving JP with a terrified expression; he’s relieved and happy to hear that Constantine was cut while Ryan came back and was rejected. She tells him not to be hung up on her other relationships, because she doesn’t want this to be a masculine competition that’s all about winning. Is that why the guys have been boxing and racing each other in direct competitions on group dates? JP tells Ashley that he wants to be the last guy standing but only because he wants to end up with her in the end, not because he wants to beat the other guy. I actually believe him, and I hope she does, too. In a voiceover, JP declares, “I want Ashley to be my wife.”

Next, JP is super, super cute while he nervously reads the fantasy suite card. “Uh, yeah, I think I’m into that,” he says before they kiss and head to the room. As if on an actual honeymoon, JP waits on the bed while Ashley changes into something more comfortable (which looks like a men’s button-down white shirt) in the bathroom, emerging to have him pin her down and kiss her until it becomes uncomfortable and I wonder when the cameras will leave. If she doesn’t pick him in the end, it’ll be an unspeakable crime.

Chris Harrison sits the bachelorette down to recap her dates. Ashley doesn’t add any insight except to say that she was really fighting for Constantine, but the lack of romance made her efforts fruitless and that she had a hard time saying goodbye to “good guy” Ryan. Even though both remaining men will get roses tonight, she somehow thinks it’s important to hold the ceremony so that she can hear and see Ben and JP accept their roses with full consent. “As hard as it would be to see someone leave at this point, I just have to know,” she tells us, as if ABC would allow one of the men to bail out before she has her family fly out and help her choose a husband. “I’m ready to be engaged, but are they?” she wonders. The good news is that only one of them has to be ready, and I think she knows by now who she wants. I can’t allow myself to accept that Ashley is so insecure as to believe that out of 25 men, there couldn’t possibly be two who’d fall in love and be willing to win her hand in marriage, so I consider all of this nonsense a ratings grab. At the rose ceremony, the guys accept their roses without complaint, of course, but Ashley thanks them profusely for sticking around. This woman is not a pathetic, sniveling, self-doubting, fearful little girl. She just plays one on TV.

Season 7, Episode 9 (original airdate July 25, 2011.)

The Bachelorette airs Mondays at 8/7c on ABC.

Images courtesy of Lou Rocca and ABC.

Leslie Hope

If you saw the trailer to The River, it would undoubtedly have sent chills up your spine. ABC brings this new suspense thriller that feels a little reminiscent to that other show set in a jungle…just kidding! The comparisons being made to Lost have already started because of the location (though The River takes place in the Amazon) and supernatural element. Executive producers Zack Estrin and Michael Green assure us though that they do know where the story is going and ultimately what their end game is.

The suspense on this show is clearly up a notch and is something we don’t normally see on network TV. This is no surprise though as the creative force behind The River is none other than Paranormal Activity writer/director Oren Peli. Peli says the goal is not to shock audiences with gore but to frighten people with scary stories. ABC has surprisingly not given him any restraints on how far he can push the envelope.

The story begins as a missing person scenario, but soon it will become apparent that is just the tip of the story. In this way Peli feels that they have the potential to last for a long time because of the many different stories that they can tell. Each episode will also be an individual story in itself, that way if you miss the previous week’s you won’t be lost.

“We’re X-Files meets the Amazon,” said Estrin.

The X-Files was able to pull off giving audiences self-contained episodes and still move major story arcs forward and if The River can accomplish that then they could definitely get picked up for a full season in the future. The only risk of course is having the inevitable filler episode and even those can be good if written well.

Casting was a hard process for the show but they were lucky in finding people with the background that completely fit their characters. Tess Cole, the wife of Emmet Cole (the missing explorer), is played by actress Leslie Hope and she has actually traveled to jungles as a documentary filmmaker. The story begins with a Steve Irwin-ish character going missing in the Amazon with his film crew. People believe he’s dead but then a distress beacon goes off and his wife and son go off to find him with their own film crew in tow.

Joe Anderson

Joe Anderson talks about how the farther they go up the river, the more everything breaks down. He plays Lincoln Cole, prodigal son of Tess and Emmet. He rejects his childhood going off to exotic locations with his parents to go to medical school and live a more stable life. Anderson believes that throughout the season his character might try to fill his father’s shoes, but that it certainly won’t be an easy journey to get there.

The producers explained that they will be using as many real legends in The River as possible. A big aspect of the show includes magic. Emmet goes searching for it in the Amazon and now his wife, son, and a film crew will be experiencing it up close and personal. After speaking with and listening to the actors, Peli, Estrin and Green speak about the story with so much passion and excitement it’s hard not to get pumped for this as well.

The River will be coming soon to ABC.

For more Comic-Con coverage, click here.

Images courtesy of Poptimal.com

It’s Week Eight of The Bachelorette, with four men remain vying for the love of Ashley, and one unsuspecting family will be left in the dust by the time of the episode’s end. We greet Ashley in the grand old town of Philadelphia, where she reminds us who her suitors are. Ben has finally learned to communicate his emotions, she says, and Constantine is “absolutely gorgeous…exactly what I look for in a man.” Ashley describes Ames as not knowing how meek he is and reports a high level of comfort and familiarity with JP. She’s ready to meet their families, and I’m dying to see what kinds of skeletons she’ll dig up with a bit of prying and a basket full of disarming giggles.

Joining Constantine in his hometown of Cumming, Georgia, Ashley is treated to a visit to the family restaurant, in which they collaborate on a delicious-looking custom pizza.  It’s an Italian/American/Greek eatery, as Constantine explains it. He seems more into Ashley than he has been up to this point, and he claims that he’s feeling more natural around her. Ash can’t see past the fact that he’s “such a stud,” but I get the sense that he’d rather be runner-up and become the next Bachelor than end up with this particular woman. Hell, the ink’s probably dry on the contract already, knowing ABC.

Ashley and Constantine do some kissing at a table outside the restaurant while the female staff huddle in a mass and watch through the window like a flock of animated Disney birds. Instead of working together to tie a ribbon around the waist of a dress or something useful like that, they stare and sigh and say “awww” in unison. It’s really quite gross. Finally, the couple of lovers travel to Constantine’s family home, where Ash sits down to talk with his mother upon arrival. Mom tells us that she’ll require some convincing from Ashley, since she needs more time to consider her as a possible love-of-her-son’s-life. She politely inquires into Ashley’s plans, should she become engaged to Constantine. She wants to know if Ashley would be willing to relocate and become part of their family, which is a clever question, considering how many times that’s been an issue in the history of this show. Ash reassures her that she could be happy in any sort of environment. Mom is sufficiently impressed, replying “You’ve pretty much answered my question” and telling the camera, “I feel great [about my son marrying this woman, even though I’ve just met her and she only half-heartedly conceded that she’d be willing to move to another city for him, should it ever come to that].” This woman is way too easily satisfied. I hope she’s not in charge of anything having to do with interrogating terror suspects.

Constantine sits down with his dad Dimitri to get the green light. His father says that Ashley has “a gorgeous…personality,” but it takes time to know somebody. “If it happens, it happens; If it’s there, it’s there, but it takes time,” he instructs. But of course, he gives his full blessing, as they always do, and Constantine feels encouraged by the support. Sitting around in the living room, Ash exclaims that she’s moving in. “They were so welcoming, and I feel like I fit in perfectly,” she tells us. For the sake of having one quick bout of Greek dancing in the house with Constantine and Ashley, the entire extended family shows up as a surprise, and Dimitri makes it rain, throwing cash on everyone as they embrace each other and move around in a circle. Constantine feels like they’ve taken “a massive step in the right direction” and offers, “I see somebody who’s really, really falling for my family very quickly, and maybe for me.” He’s got his priorities out of whack, which is okay, because he won’t win her in the end.

Now we follow Ames to Chadds Ford, Pennsylvania. He looks sort of sexy in a plaid shirt, I’m forced to admit, but it’s ruined when he runs toward Ashley in the girliest way imaginable. “Ames is such a unique guy that I’m excited to meet his family today,” Ashley tells us. She can not mention that poor man without reiterating how odd he is. I’m positive he won’t make it past this episode, so I suppose it’s nice of her to constantly plant clues about how unappealing she finds him as a sexual prospect. Going along with the plan, they meet a bunch of Ames’ family members and sit outside with refreshing drinks that have limes on the rim, telling stories about their travels. Ames’ sister Serena lets us know that she needs to find out if Ashley has the same spark for her brother that he has for her, since she doesn’t “want his heart to be broken or for him to be devastated by this.” Well, I’d suggest she start preparing psychologically for that possibility.

Serena asks Ashley about her feelings for Ames, and she’s refreshingly honest without going so far as to tell her that she’s already ruled him out. Ashley admits that their relationship has been moving slower than the others before adding, “I see so many good things in him” and “It’s worth it to me to keep peeling those layers” when Serena compares him to an onion. Ames and his mom sit down to talk, and she obviously wants to reassure herself that her little boy isn’t setting himself up for disappointment, though he so very clearly is. While his mother wears a hesitant expression, Ames tells her that things between the two of them are “not rushed.” No kidding. Ashley asks Serena about Ames’ father and is told that both his father and step-father died from cancer, which led to him being more cautious about getting to know people. Poor guy. Ashley tells the camera that she can tell Ames will be able to handle things well in the future, if their relationship doesn’t end up going well. By “in the future,” she means “at the end of this episode,” but Serena tries valiantly to sell her brother as the perfect catch, asserting that he’s without flaws, as he’s always in shape, has gone to the best schools, and is a fun guy beloved by all. Serena leaves the conversation unconvinced that Ashley has “passion” or “spark” for Ames.

Ames’ loving mom takes her turn with Ash, underscoring the fact that her son is loyal, “there when you need him,” and that he’d be a great adventure partner in life. Ashley repeats her warning that things between them have been moving slowly. Her chat with Mother leaves her feeling encouraged, she claims in a talking head, because “maybe love is more of a marathon.” “I want to feel that passion with Ames so bad,” she whines. “I’m still missing that spark between us.” This is really sad to watch, because I can see him falling for her in a major way, and it’s only going to end badly. Serena is nice enough to sit her brother down and tell him he needs to up his game. “Just, the next time you’re with her, I would get really personal,” she admonishes, looking afraid as he describes how “fantastic” Ashley makes him feel. Serena basically tells him to be sexier, bring the passion, “let her feel a little fire.” I can’t imagine ever saying anything like that to my little brother, even if the gold medal on a nationally televised reality competition were on the line.

Ames leaves his family’s house saying he’ll do whatever it takes to move forward. In the most unnecessary date ever, he takes Ashley to a beautiful park to have a picnic under a huge magnolia tree. “I can’t think of anything more romantic in the world,” says Ames. I think that’s a bit of a problem. I mean, the place is pretty and all, but it’s still a picnic in a park. This show has probably raised her date standards to an impossible level. Ames talks about how much of a nerd he was in high school, and Ashley tries to convince him that they’re cut from the same cloth. Their interaction seems clinical at best; I don’t think he’s capable of intimacy in the same way that the other men are, but he keeps talking about romance nonetheless, effectively wasting his time and ours. He tries to plant the idea in her head that “life isn’t fireworks,” and all that pesky animal attraction isn’t really worth it, since it’ll eventually melt away, anyhow. At least, that’s how I heard it. She responds by saying, “You’re like no other guy.” I’m sure that makes him feel great, considering his status as an outcast. She tells him that the people who ridiculed him in high school are very stupid and then kisses him, making her a very cruel woman for leading him on. After the date, Ames tells us that he’s “absolutely, totally falling in love with Ashley” and claims, “The next time my family meets Ashley, Ashley and I could be engaged.” Ashley voiceovers, “I feel like we have a very real connection. This could be a storybook romance.” Who are you fooling?

Now for a more promising visit to the town of Sonoma, California with a much less interesting suitor. Ben greets Ashley and brings her to taste some of his selections at the winery. I do love a nice bottle of vino, but that wouldn’t be enough to hook me in this case. I wonder how much of Ben’s appeal has to do with the promise of free alcohol for a lifetime. Ash gets very nervous when Ben admits he’s only brought one woman home before. It’s a lot of pressure. Ben tells her that his now-deceased father would have loved her before describing how his family dealt with his death. Apparently, they flew to Italy and Slovenia to explore his origins, eventually burying him under Ben’s grandfather’s apple tree. It’s a great story. Ben tells us he’s ready for Ash to meet his family, though he’s nervous and hoping that everyone will get along. Considering the presence of the cameras, the carefully-staged nature of all interactions on this show, and the fact that Ashley will be going out of her way to seem exceedingly likable, I think the odds of tension and fighting are quite low.

Ben, along with his mother and sister, hosts Ashley for dinner, during which Ashley tells the sister that she was initially attracted by Ben’s long hair. She’s obviously very physically attracted to him in the moment and probably has to force herself to reel it in a bit, considering they’re dining with his immediate family. Ben says it’s been an emotional experience, and they have a good thing going on. After the meal, Ben and his sister have a boring talk about how he’s been expressing his feelings to Ashley more than he’s done with anyone in six years. I can hear Ashley laughing with his mom in the other room, which is kind of nice. Ben claims that he hasn’t told Ashley he loves her yet, but I think he got quite close in the last episode. Meanwhile, Ashley is being shown childhood photos of Ben by his mother. She, of course, reacts by giggling and acting incredibly charmed, but I can’t be bothered to pay too much attention. Something about this guy rubs me the wrong way, in addition to his being patently uninspiring and tepid.

 
Very tellingly, Ben’s mom sits and listens passively while he sits with her to apologize for being an insensitive son after the death of his dad. He expresses regret over not having done things differently. It’s a bit of a red flag that she doesn’t try to make him feel better at all, instead accepting his apology with a hug and an “I love you.” He must have been really emotionally distant from his family, in addition to whatever else he’s saying “sorry” for. I just think it’s a little too dangerous to tread into territory like this; he seems to have more than his share of demons, and he hasn’t been expressive enough thus far. There’s something missing. Nevertheless, Ashley and Ben leave their night happy and encouraged, hugging like they don’t want to leave each other. “There are so many great things that I see in Ben,” Ashley says. “I could see myself spending the rest of my life with him.” If you must, Ashley, but I’d heartily recommend against it.

Finally, we say hello to JP in Roslyn, New York, where he waits pacing and nervous. Hugging Ashley on her arrival, he adorably admits that he didn’t sleep a wink last night because he was so anxious to see her. He takes her to a rollerskating rink, not knowing that his date is a former figure skater. Ashley says she feels like she’s “back in seventh grade.” I’d bet anything that she made out with more than her share of middle school boys outside of the restrooms in the skating rinks of her day. JP falls on his face in front of Ashley, bruising only his fragile ego. Ashley, not surprisingly, thinks it’s ridiculously cute and guffaws for a good 30 seconds before going over to comfort him. “It was a cute fall!” she insists. They’re pretty precious together. Because he’s so raw and handsome and she’s so clearly in love, I’ll allow it.

Ashley and JP sit down with some paper cups full of wine as he tells her that they’re on the way to meet his mother, father, brother, and brother’s girlfriend. He cops to having brought only four women home to meet his family before, and she says “that’s not a lot for you, since you’re a little bit older.” For no good reason at all, JP brings up his ex-girlfriend yet again, saying he was very hurt the whole time because he never had reassurance about their standing. Ashley asks how he can be so certain about the two of them, and he says that he’s “100 per cent” sure on account of how miserable it is to be without her between dates. He tells the camera that he figures he must completely open up and reveal vulnerabilities, or else this thing won’t work. It’s good to see him understand that; he’s so mature in some ways, which makes his jealousy even more irksome.

JP takes Ash to his home of 33 years, introducing her to the family and narrating that it’s important for his loved ones to approve, since they don’t want to see him get hurt again. If you pay attention, you’ll notice that this concept is a recurring one in the JP household. Now, they’re all having dinner together, where everyone is getting along and laughing; JP’s brother tells us he can’t believe how hard and fast JP has fallen. Mom pulls JP aside to talk, first mentioning that she is scared about him getting hurt. “I don’t want to see your heart broken the way it was broken before,” she says gently. He replies that, while he doesn’t ever want to feel that way again, he has to open up for this experiment to work, adding that a lot of signs point toward him being in love with her already. Mother comments again that she just doesn’t want to see him hurt again. Geez Louise, what in the Sam Hill did that woman do to JP to inflict such trauma and introduce such a pervading sense of cowering dread to their godforsaken home? Did she make him wear a silly outfit in front of his bros? Where’s his achilles heel? She must have honed in on that thing like a missile.

Mom moves on to Ashley next, starting their discussion with the reminder that one relationship in JP’s past “truly broke his heart,” and it was “painful to watch.” She’s scared, attributing her nerves to the fact that JP is already in too deep, and says, “He looks at you with love in his eyes, so I’m nervous.” She then proceeds to ask Ashley how she deals with dating so many guys, knowing that each of the men is only dating her. She puts it much more diplomatically than that, but that was the gist. Mom apologizes for putting Ash on the spot, but the bachelorette has the perfect, most respectful response: “You can put me on the spot as much as you want.” When she says “I am smitten by your son,” Mom looks so pleased and relieved to hear the words. “I see JP look at you as a beautiful woman on the inside,” she tells her future daughter-in-law.

JP’s family all sit on couches in the living room, kicking it with Ashley and looking generally comfortable. Mom leaves to retrieve a huge, framed photo of a mullet-sporting JP dressed up in a tie for his Bar Mitzvah. It’s a schmaltzy but cute picture, which JP feels looks like a cross between Kirk Cameron and Doogie Howser. JP walks Ashley out to say goodbye, and they hug lovingly in the doorway. “For some reason, I can’t sit here and say I am in love with Ashley yet,” JP tells us, explaining that he can’t mention anything until he’s made it into the final two. He can’t wait for the “amazing” feeling that will accompany saying the phrase freely, and I can’t wait to see it.

It’s time for the maligned sit-down-with-insufferable-douchebag-Chris-Harrison segment. Ashley recaps her visits while video clips jog our memory of the past two hours. She calls the four men “exceptional individuals,” noting that Constantine offered the best hometown date and most vivacious family with so much depth and warmth. She’s learning a lot about him, she says, and she likes that he moves slowly and exhausts all options before making big decisions. I don’t notice what she says about Ames, but I’m sure it’s a bunch of stuff about how “different” and “special” and “unique” he is, though she doesn’t want to have sex with him in the least. Ben planned such a good date, Ashley tells Chris, and she got to see an emotional, vulnerable side of him, which was nice. She calls his family “sophisticated and educated and thoughtful and warm,” with the sweetest mother. She really felt good about her hometown experience with JP and fell in love with his family while she was there, she gushes. “I’m proud to say I have no regrets,” she says smiling.

Ashley goes into the rose ceremony telling us that she’s ready to find her husband. I hope she’s got at least an inkling by now. I ready myself to say goodbye to Ames as Ashley calls out the final three. Ames always looks completely suspended in time during these scenes, leaning slightly forward with non-blinking eyes that stare Ashley down in the most creepy way. Tonight, his glare is a tad more intense, and he looks like he might faint when she recites the names of Ben, JP, and Constantine in that order. I don’t envy her job right now, since there are real hearts involved, and Ames is very sensitive. He looks shocked and appalled, motionless until he finally snaps out of it to say his farewells. Ashley walks him out to a bench, where he’s speechless and shell-shocked. “I care so much about you, and I want you to know that,” Ashley tells him. That’s never a good statement to hear while you’re being dumped. It looks like he’s trying hard not to shed tears as he tells her that “it’s been totally beautiful and full of the unexpected” with her, and that he’ll remember every second of their journey for the rest of his life. She assures him that she will, too, but I can’t see her husband being okay with that idea. Ames rides off in the dreaded limo, shaking a bit from the experience, and saying he feels numb and silly for not realizing he wasn’t being loved in return. He wonders aloud where the problem was. He’s completely oblivious, carrying on about how he wanted a lifetime of adventures with a beautiful woman, and now he has to do everything alone. My suspicion is that he’s so trapped in his own world that any pretty girl who expresses interest will do. Attractive, eligible, adventure-seeking activity partners should inquire within. The guy won’t know the difference, and that’s a good thing for him.

NEXT WEEK: The remaining three travel with Ashley to Fiji. JP makes Ashley cry. In all honesty, I can hardly stand the suspense.

We’re seven weeks in, and there are six men remaining on The Bachelorette. Taiwan is the latest “absolutely beautiful” place in Ashley’s travelogue of love, and she’s feeling optimistic about her chances. Skipping along the streets of Taipei, Ashley tells us that she’s looking for a week of clarity, during which she can discern which of the contestants has “the whole package.” Our fair lady assures us that she will only visit the homes of gentlemen who share a “mental and physical connection” with her. Cupid had better have his travel documents in order; by the end of this episode, two men will be on their way home following three roseless one-on-ones and a group date. Suddenly, the end is nigh.

Constantine wins the first solo date this time around, joining Ashley on a steam locomotive into a tiny village called Pingxi. They hold hands and flirt while sizing each other up. Ashley tells us that her relationship with Constantine has been moving more slowly than with the other guys, but she wants to be patient. Constantine wonders if they’ll be able to relax and enjoy themselves; he’s still evaluating her usefulness as a mate, but he doesn’t want to allow his apparent disinterest to get in the way of the romance. They arrive at their destination, where a lantern festival fills the streets with locals. Ashley and her date pick out lanterns on which they write their wishes in the hopes that they come true when the lanterns are released into the sky. It looks like a beautiful tradition, and Constantine seems gracious about being immersed in the culture of the village. The downside is that the two lovebirds, as they scrawl what Ash refers to as “love wishes” on the lanterns, are really more like platonic lab partners at the moment.

By the time they sit down for a meal, Constantine seems to have softened a bit. His talking heads let us know that he’s still auditioning Ashley for the role of “wife,” but he shows just enough attraction to hook her. The handsome guy sits and describes his family, telling his companion that she shouldn’t feel anxious, as the brood is “big and loud but not intimidating.” Ashley likes what she hears, complimenting him for being himself and “not trying to convince” her to like him. It appears to me that Constantine may just be more level-headed than the other men; all he can do is expose Ashley to his real personality and hope there’s some potential for a connection. It’s honest, reasonable, and wise, leading me to wonder what he’s doing on this particular show. When Ash asks him if he thinks it could work between them, Constantine replies that it will if he falls in love, though you can’t force it. He makes it clear that he wants a hometown date, as meeting his family would give Ashley more insight into his character. Their date ends as all of the collected lanternsare set free into the deep blue night, lit up with yellow flames above their heads. Ashley and Constantine kiss very stiffly while the bachelorette voiceovers that she feels like they had a “big breakthrough” today. Constantine tells us that he’s excited and can’t wait to take Ashley home, adding that he’s never been happier. Since the audio is so clearly chopped and spliced, I can’t claim that his last statement had anything to do with this scene. You never can tell.

Winemaker Ben is next up for a one-on-one, which begins on a moped with Ashley holding on for dear life. They drive on a treacherous road, next to massive cliffs and rocks, taking sharp turns and racing toward their destination. Ashley should be grateful and relieved that Ben just happens to be comfortable on an old moped chugging along several miles above ground level, because surprising him with one was a big gamble. They finally get off and walk along a rickety bridge in the sky, somewhere near Taroko Gorge, kissing and holding each other in the breeze. It looks pretty peaceful. Ben lets us know that he’s genuinely happy, and that holding Ashley “feels right.” He admits to being in the process of falling in love but claims that he’s not ready to tell her yet. At dinner, Ashley’s eyes light up when Ben promises more of his custom wine at his upcoming hometown date. She loves his confidence as he describes how much his mother and sister will like seeing them together. After the baiting, Ben divulges that he’s “on the teetering point” of “strong-than-like” feelings for her. He swears that he doesn’t usually throw “the L-Bomb” around casually, but he really wants her to come home to Sonoma with him. Then he taps his watch and says, “Time’s running out, and I really wanna win this thing!” I’m kidding, of course, but I’d like someone to do that just once on this show. Ashley would probably applaud his honesty. Anyway, the two kiss some more as Ashley’s disembodied voice says, “I feel like he’s my boyfriend!,” so I guess they decided to skip the whole honeymoon phase and resign themselves to the bland, nonthreatening relationship simulation game they’ve constructed out of boredom and slight mutual attraction. Fair enough.

Back at the guys’ quarters, it’s the morning after, and Ben is nowhere to be found. The men are waking up and chatting in the kitchen while J.P. sits alone on a couch in the next room, silently planning Ben’s “accidental” death in a nearby river. He can’t bear the thought of Ben on an overnight date with Ashley, and the other guys are peeved, as well. When the man of the hour finally walks in with luggage and a huge smile, the tension only grows thicker. When confronted with prying questions from his competitors (“Did you two do any physical activities?”), Ben is vague and evasive (“Not any that I wanna talk about.”). I think it tacky and rude of him, and he doesn’t admit that they didn’t share a bedroom until asked directly. It’s annoying and makes me question his character. He’d have had no problem with the guys assuming he’d slept with Ashley. Their discomfort was palpable; J.P. had to leave the room soon after Ben entered, and everyone naturally feared the worst. Ben could have made it a point to be a gentleman, but he chose not to.

Ashley rounds up Ames, Lucas, and J.P. for their group date- a wedding photo session complete with costumes and professional lighting and backdrops. J.P. is already whining about having to go on a group date at all. In his mind, he and Ash are already a couple, and these other guys are in the way. I think there must be more to their bond than we’ve been permitted to see. He doesn’t seem irrational or insecure enough to be this jealous early on unless he were sure of his relationship with Ashley. I think he’s the clear front-runner, so he shouldn’t worry so much. The guys all don their costumes; J.P.’s spirits are lifted when he ends up wearing the classic black tuxedo, as Ames is stuck in a ridiculous, sparkly, ruffle-y, pastel suit (which J.P. thinks makes him look like a cross between an ostrich and Elton John), and Lucas wears the traditional Chinese silk robe, long like a dress and in vibrant yellow. Lucas tells the camera that J.P. would have thrown “a fit” if he’d had an ugly costume, since he acts like a 15 year-old when he’s upset. That doesn’t sound too healthy, but I’m sure the jealousy would really impress Ashley. J.P.’s confidence runs out when he has to watch his beloved take photos with each of the other two men in turn, kissing Lucas on the mouth as a part of the shoot. When it’s finally J.P.’s chance to make an impression on her, he can’t be bothered to smile for the photos or act entertained by the activity at all. Even Ames and Lucas see, from the sidelines, that the shoot isn’t going well. I can understand J.P. hating group dates and resenting having to participate in them, but he needs to straighten up, stop being a baby, and be a good sport. I hope he’s just nervous and acting out, because if this is a trend, he’ll be a miserable husband.

Ashley takes her three men to a private location for dinner, where their wedding photos from earlier in the day have already been framed and put on the walls. Everyone is in low spirits, and Ashley sympathizes with them, reminding us that she was once in their position, and she knows how much they need to relax at this point. She sits down with Lucas for a talk. He hesitantly lets her in on the fact that he is a traditional guy, and it didn’t feel good to see her taking wedding photos with other men. Ashley asks him if it’ll be hard to get married a second time, and he essentially replies that he does want to have kids, and she seems like she’d do as a wife. I’m liking him less each week. Ames takes Lucas’ place next to Ashley and shows her a stack of old photos of him and his family. She’s charmed by it, giggling and calling him “unique.” She does not want him in the way that she wants the other men; she just doesn’t have the heart to let him down yet.

J.P. has his moment with Ashley at long last, and he opens up immediately, telling her that although he understands the harsh rules of the game, he doesn’t want to play it sometimes. He hated watching Ben come home from a sleepover, he tells her, and it was no picnic watching Lucas make out with her on their group date. He defends his jealous streak as reasonable under the circumstances, prompting Ashley to ask him if he gets into fights with his competition. He reassures her that he doesn’t, but not before the faintest glimmer of hope crosses Ashley’s face, which is meant to look stern and concerned. She wants him to fight for her, to claim her and scare the other men off, but she can’t accept her own masochistic desire. I hope this one happens to be a truly good guy, because I like how much they like each other. I’m not a total scrooge, after all.

When J.P. has laid all of his cards on the table and told Ashley that he feels for her now and can no longer be cool as a cucumber like he was before, she goes to retrieve the date rose for him. She gushes that she wants to meet his family “so bad,” and he grins sexily while accepting his prize. The other men welcome the pair back to the communal space, cheering J.P. on with clapping and insincere congratulations. The cameras stop rolling, but I’m sure the drinks flowed freely for hours more.

Finally, we’ve reached the moment we’ve been patiently awaiting for what seems like forever. It’s the one-on-one between Ryan and Ashley, and I must say that it delivers. Oh, does it deliver. You couldn’t write this stuff. Ashley bounces toward her doom, oblivious to the disaster ahead, as her voiceover informs us that she likes Ryan, that he makes her feel special, and she doesn’t care what anyone else says about him. They link up in a park somewhere and walk around. Ryan seems stranger and more phony by the second, with a plastered-on smile and an over-eager demeanor that borders on willfully inconsiderate. He tells her how excited he is, in case she missed all of the outward signs. They wander into a temple, where people are kneeling in orderly lines, chanting and praying. I’m surprised Ryan doesn’t insert himself into the proceedings and make the whole thing about him somehow, but they manage to get out without creating a scene. Next, they visit a statue of a “matchmaking god,” in front of whom Ashley and Ryan throw bricks to decide their fate. Ryan’s bricks don’t land as they’re supposed to, despite his silent wish for confirmation on their relationship. He says he’s still optimistic. Nothing can stop him.

Ash and her date sit and talk under the sun as Ryan sports a creepy grin while peering into her soul and asking with firm resolve for a hometown date. Ashley’s comments to the camera are that she’s actually not ready to meet his family, and that she doesn’t think their relationship is at the right place for that. Ryan’s voiceovers reveal that he’s “on cloud nine…cloud ten!” They have a picnic next to a gorgeous pond, and Ryan still can’t see just how lukewarm Ashley is. He’s so delusional that he’ll never make the right assumptions about her, so she sits sort of quietly, accepting that fact as he prattles on. He asks her how responsible she is about environmental issues, because he thinks they’re at the point where he can make her feel the need to impress him. He’s wrong. She laughs and tells a self-deprecating story about a boyfriend who once dumped her for throwing a plastic water bottle into the garbage instead of recycling it. She’s not knowledgeable, she argues, but she’s happy for “people like” Ryan who seem to care. She doesn’t bother, because she doesn’t like him anymore, but he can’t see it yet, and so he prattles still.

Ryan starts a somewhat interesting lecture about water heaters and the importance of going “tankless.” I’m quite interested to hear more, but Ashley is fed up and can see right through him by this point, so we get sound bytes from her while he talks in the background. She doesn’t feel enough passion for him, she reveals, and she is obviously unable to keep pretending. As I cringe and turn away, Ryan tells Ashley that he can’t wait for his family to meet and hug her. She just can’t listen anymore, so she gives the speech. Look, Ryan, you’re a great person, I gave you the very first ‘first impression’ rose, and you’re the perfect guy in my head, but I’m not feeling anything for you. That is the gist of her explanation, but he still doesn’t get it. “You don’t want to meet my family?,” he asks, doing his best impression of an abused puppy dog. His manipulation doesn’t work, though he’s attempting his most disappointed face, trying mightily to guilt and shame her until she questions her stance. It doesn’t work; I can tell she doesn’t want to bear him any longer, as the water heater conversation did nothing to undo the creepiness of his intensity. She walks him out, since she doesn’t want to put him through the rose ceremony unnecessarily. When he’s gone, she tells us that she’s not confident that she did the right thing, since the look in Ryan’s eyes made her question herself for a second. Ashley, you did the right thing.

For the next several minutes, we get to watch Ryan give the performance of his life- groaning and complaining about how he doesn’t want to be alone- standing in front of the camera after Ashley leaves. He sits down and hyperventilates and then gets back up again, walks through some bushes and trees, tries to produce some genuine tears, stomps around like a petulant child, and generally acts like a worthless tool. I can’t imagine how the other men lived with him for so long, and I apologize for ever doubting their judgment.
The remaining men head into the cocktail party, all dressed up and ready to make their last efforts with Ashley. Ames says that everyone is keenly aware of how serious this is and that anyone who leaves tonight will be heartbroken. Meanwhile, Ashley is telling Chris Harrison that her mind is made up, and she doesn’t require any cocktail party. I like when she cuts to the chase, even though I have my doubts about the role of the producers in all of this. Just as Lucas is in the middle of telling the guys that he’s thankful for this opportunity for one more cocktail party so that he can win Ashley over again, Chris enters to tell them that there will be no such opportunity this time. Ashley explains to viewers that she’s simply ready to return home to the United States, that she can’t wait to meet her guys’ families. I can see how weary she is.

Ashley dramatically and somberly hands out roses to Constantine, and then Ben, before pausing behind the final reveal. Lucas and Ames wish each other luck, which seems silly. Ames makes it through, meaning Lucas is out of the running. He says goodbye to Ashley while calling her “sweetheart” several times and acting like a gentleman upon his exit, unlike someone else I could mention. Ashley says she felt like she’d known Lucas a long time, though there wasn’t enough of a romantic connection. No matter, though. Next week is hometown dates, and it should be an experience, to be sure.

I should mention that this episode ended with a lengthy segment featuring a sit-down between Chris Harrison and Emily Maynard- ex-fiance of Brad Womack. It’s an incredibly sad and unfortunate situation, as Emily cries throughout and sticks up for Brad while refusing to say anything awful about him, even though his narcissism and asshattery seem to be the reasons for their breakup. Emily dodged a bullet when she separated from Brad, and I’m hoping that she and her poor daughter can move on from this without too much ridiculous publicity on top of what’s already happened.

The Bachelorette Season 7,Episode 7 (original airdate July 11, 2011.)

The Bachelorette airs Mondays at 8/7c on ABC.

Images courtesy of Kenny Ting and ABC.